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@chioc-o
Stop waiting for someone else, To say that you count, That you matter, That you have worth, That you have a voice, A place that you are called. Didn't you know, darling? The One who knit you together in your mother's womb is the one singing these words over you, You are chosen. - Sarah Bessey
Remember to finish what you started.
It is Friday, April 3, A.D. 33. It is the darkest day in human history, though most humans have no clue of this. In Rome, Tiberius attends to the demanding business of the empire. Throughout the inhabited world, babies are born, people eat and drink, marry and are given in marriage, barter in marketplaces, sail merchant ships, and fight battles. Children play, old women gossip, young men lust, and people die. But today, one death, one brutal, gruesome death, the worst and best of all human deaths, will leave upon the canvas of human history the darkest brushstroke. In Jerusalem, God the Son, the Creator of all that is (John 1:3), will be executed. It is the worst and best of all human deaths. For on this tree he bears our sins in his body (1 Peter 2:24), “the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God” (1 Peter 3:18). And now it is finished.
(http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/it-is-finished-good-friday)
Looking back I realize that Jesus didn’t just save me once all those years ago on the cross. No, He is still saving me, even now.
He saved me when I was struggling with addiction, drowning in sin and shame. He saved me when I absolutely hated myself and wanted nothing more than to give up and be done with this life. He saved me when I thought I was too far gone, too wretched to be saved. He saved me when my heart and soul were as black as the night and cold to Him. He saved me when I thought He had forsaken me. He’s saved me, I’m sure, more than I even realize.
Don’t you see? Jesus is Savior, and Jesus is good. He’s the only way to the Father. He’s the only One truly capable of saving us-not our efforts, not our achievements, nor any cheap, temporary thrill this world offers can save us. Only Jesus.
And don’t you know, He’s so, so faithful? He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will never fail you. Even if you’re just that one, little, wandering sheep, He’ll seek you out, because you’re that precious to Him. You may think yourself too sinful, too dirty, too wretched, too far gone, too worthless; too this, too that.
But don’t you realize? He came into this world to save the sinner, the weak, the dirty, the wretched, the lost. He came to save you. Yes, you.
So, won’t you come to Him? Can you hear Him calling?
“Come to Me, and be made new.”
We often waste an incredible amount of time wanting to be somewhere else, someone else. Our head-space gets clogged with compare, contrast, what if, why can’t, I should. But you’re never getting this time back. You can’t borrow tomorrow. Please don’t save the best for last. The best is all of you, here, where you are, brightly lit and painfully now, in this breath you’re leaving. Each second dies as it is born; every hello must say goodbye; all is fading in the collapsing hallway of a fragile hourglass, a grain at a time. You are here. The best is you, now.
When we don’t take the time to see both sides of an issue, we close ourselves off to opportunities with others. We become the judge, jury, and executioner. Humility is overthrown for selfish thought, and our character is surrendered in the cause of self-righteousness. Be willing to take the time to find the truth, not just react at the first thing you hear. By engaging with others, listening to their story and being willing to walk with them, we begin to understand love and humility. The road to truth is found when we are willing to make the effort to search every avenue possible. When you see something and the first thought is anger, that is a sign that you should go deeper into the issue before responding. All anger comes from fear, fear is blindness reacting. Let’s learn to open our eyes before we scream, let’s learn to engage with love before responding in hate, and let’s be willing to be wrong in our attempt to find the truth. We are flawed but can learn from our mistakes, remember that in your journey today. -T.B. LaBerge
I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm, and respects you enough to love the size of your waves. I hope you find someone who will relish the calm you can have, and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind. I hope you find someone that can’t escape the love they have for you, because now they have you in their very blood, always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring.
T.B. LaBerge // Unwritten Letters to You (via tblaberge)
it sounded romantic when I heard it the first time. it was before we were married, and he told us to not forget it. seriously, he said, keep this one with you because when it gets hard, you’re going to need it–okay here it is. the purpose of marriage is not happiness, but growth.
ugh, I love that, I said.
no you don’t, he said. you’re happy right now, so you feel up for it. growth usually happens when you’re not up for it. you love the idea of it, but you’re not going to like it. that’s okay, but it’s important to expect it.
he was right. it’s not romantic, it’s hard. it’s not that warm feeling i like. sometimes it feels a lot more like a limb is about to be pulled out of its socket. you reach a fork in the road, and it’s time to grow again, but God I just rather not today. you made me grow last week. resisting the growth is more painful than the growth.
he was right. it’s not romantic. it’s actually annoying how much growing is going on right now. I am tired of growing.
you know that scene in miss congeniality where she is forced to eat healthy food, so she has hidden junk food under her pageant gown? and her coach makes her give them all up? but there’s more. so he takes those too. no choice. no exceptions. that is how I feel. give me your pride, and now your greed–no, all of it. and jealousy–i’ll be taking that. ok, fine, here. is that enough? no, hand me your resentment. oh! and the comparison. i almost forgot that one–hand it over.
that fork in the road I mentioned with one way being growth–don’t mistake the other road as happiness. like I said, to not walk into the growth is more painful. that’s because resisting it means walking into avoidance, into denial, into defensiveness, into stagnancy, it is anything but happiness.
marriage is a mirror. by design, God created us to reflect back to each other what isn’t resembling him. you can get angry, and defensive, refusing to look in the mirror. you can punish your spouse for functioning as they’re intended to. or you can acknowledge what’s coming up, thank them for showing you, ask them to love you, and choose to grow.
I turned in my theology of sex paper.
You know what it did for me? It took away a lot of the fear I had about raising children one day and how daunting it felt to think of walking alongside them as a loving, safe, and approachable parent who can normalize, educate, and celebrate their sexuality as that part of their identity develops.
That may sound strange that I think of my future kids, especially in regard to such a specific topic, but how we understand and interact with the topic of sexuality will reflect heavily in the way we pass it down to our children. Either we will be their first and most impressionable reference point for how they conceptualize sex and sexuality, or our avoidance and discomfort with it will leave it up to the world to imprint its message onto them. The choice to develop your own theology of sex has implications, and it will have the most ripple effects in the life of your children if you become a parent one day. So that’s where the daunting pressure comes from for me.
But, like I said, I turned in my paper. And after finishing it, I have so much more confidence–excitement, even, that if we are parents one day, we are going to actively and intentionally instill the meaning and value of sexual wholeness. Granted, we will seek to humbly and faithfully provide a framework and foundation for sexual wholeness, and they will decide what to do with it.
Here are a few main points of my theology of sex:
Our sexuality is the energy inside of us that works incessantly against our being alone. It is the messenger that speaks of humanity’s innate need for intimacy. My use of the term sexuality does not revolve around sex–I see them as related, but distinct. What I mean is that apart from sex, each person still possesses their own sexuality. So, while sex is an action, I use the term sexuality as a wide-brushstroke term to refer to the force driving our personhood to seek out and create connection. This distinction is crucial to my theology.
Here is my definition of sexuality: the desire to receive and the capacity to give love. Further, it is desire to know and be known. Sexuality lies at the core of our spiritual being, as it is the willingness to move closer to one another.
Our desire for sex is a response to our knowing, at the deepest level, that we have been cut off—separated in our sin, disconnected from the model in which we were created to live and move and have our being. Our sexuality bears witness to our original design to be connected without shame, without fear, without condition, without striving.
Sexuality is sacrificial when it is used for relational nourishment. This is the distinction between gratification and edification. When your sexuality is self focused, it will fester idolatry. When your sexuality is other focused, it will foster community.
Virginity won’t make you pure, and sex won’t make you whole. Christ alone is our purity, and our salvation is what redeems our brokenness until it is restored in eternity (more on this at the end).
Fleeing from sexual immorality does not mean to flee from your sexuality. Sexuality is a part of you, given by God, and intended to reflect His nature. It reflects the design of creation prior to the fall–complete connectedness, without reserve, without barriers, without shame, and without the fear of abandonment, exploitation, abuse, or betrayal.
The goal of sex is oneness, not orgasm. Arousal is the drive for connection, not orgasm. You can choose orgasm over connection, but this is only an external relief to an internal need. Orgasm is the result, but it is not the purpose. If you can remember this, it will change the game of your sex life. Prioritize orgasm, and you will miss oneness. Prioritize oneness, and you will likely get to have both.
Oxytocin levels increase 500-600x in partnered orgasm. This does not happen during masturbation. This is more than a religious imposition of morality–this is biology. Brain chemistry shows us that you were made for more than orgasm. You were made for intimacy.
This one was my biggest epiphany–there will be no sex in Heaven, and if you’re disappointed by this, as I was, it is because we don’t understand what sex is, and we have confused sexuality to mean sexual activity. There will not be sex in Heaven–not because it is bad, or a “necessary evil,” or even that it is without eternal purpose, but the exact opposite, actually. Sex isn’t evil, but it will no longer be necessary. You seek sex to satisfy needs (connection, intimacy, relief, love.) Eternity does not strip you of these needs, but fully satisfies them. We will not be asexual in Heaven, but sexual and satisfied. On earth, we are sexual and dissatisfied.
Remember that sex and sexuality are distinct from one another. In sex and in orgasm, we briefly taste what we are meant for. In heaven, there will be no need for the physical partaking of intercourse or for the physical release of orgasm, for we will be fully connected to each other in full communion, eternally relieved of our striving to know and be known. We will be restored to the design of our Creator–fully known, fully loved, fully satisfied, and eternally at peace, intimately interconnected.
Without knowing and without wanting, we build walls. It happens quietly and slowly over time when we choose the things in life that do not command love and righteousness. It happens when we forget to spend time with God in solitude. Then one day, we struggle with loving our neighbors, we struggle with understanding what grace is in our lives. The collapse of a relationship is not when the heated arguments become overbearing, it’s when the silence sets in that we know a void has begun in our lives. I must be reminded daily of the love of Jesus, I must remember who it was that first brought me from death to life. How shallow is my heart to think that I can go a minute without praise in my heart for the one who loves without end; How hollow is my soul to long for such temporary things, and not for the Father in whom all things are given. May I have the right mindset to lean on Jesus, and may I have the understanding to fully accept His grace in my heart.
T.B. LaBerge // Go Now (via tblaberge)
You: Good morning!
Gandalf, an intellectual: Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
things that make me smile:
guys holding flowers in their hands because you know he’s about to make someone’s day
couples who are obviously on a first date and are still in that shy yet eager getting to know you phase
anyone who gets up for old people on the bus or train
the pleasantly shocked and surprised face of said old person because they realize that kindness isn’t dead
handwritten letters
people holding hands with their parents (especially if they aren’t children anymore)
friends saying ‘i love you’ to each other because platonic love is so so underrated
the face of a student who studied so hard for a test and actually did really well
people who admit that they are wrong without resentment and are willing to learn from their mistakes
someone who makes you feel like there’s still something worth smiling about in this world when you think you might not make it
You miss places because you miss the person you were when you walked through them.
(via c0ntemplations)
I can’t emphasize enough the importance of solo adventures. Everything from eating lunch by yourself to strolling in the park alone all help to shape your sense of independence. If you’re never by yourself how will you ever know yourself.
(via c0ntemplations)
Call him Voldemort… Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (via slyherin)
It’s always important to God that He be glorified and not us. When we begin to take credit for what we are able to do with His power and His presence, what happens? We get prideful, we get arrogant.
Charles Stanley (via godlywoman)
