courtney (any pronouns)

all of it. here. again. i mostly reblog & share: ○ fibre art stuff ○ nsfw stuff ○ fandom stuff

[ceeroosa]

there is so much pornography in my apple books app :)

[pastperfectcontinuous]

bell hooks mentioned going through a time in her life where she was severely depressed and suicidal and how the only way she got through it was through changing her environment: She surrounded her home with buddhas of all colors, Audre Lorde’s A Litany for Survival facing her as she wakes up, and filling the space she saw everyday with reinforcing objects and meaningful books. She asks herself each day, “What are you going to do today to resist domination?” I also really liked it when she said that in order to move from pain to power, it is crucial to engage in “an active rewriting of our lives.”

[ritavonbees]

I have come to think of the suicidal impulse as the brain waving a flag to say three things:

something needs to change here

this is urgent

I don’t know how to do it

death is the ultimate metaphor for drastic change. it’s a general specific. whatever your problems are, it is very likely that dead people don’t have to deal with them. a real solution to your problems may demand a very narrow range of action that’s likely to be out of reach at this moment, but death is sold on every street corner, so it feels like a more realistic fantasy than happiness.

you don’t really want to die per se but it’s also not completely random chemicals swamping your brain for no reason. you want the pain to stop, you want to be somewhere else, you want to be someone else. it’s urgent. you don’t know how to do it. the end is not the end but a means that feels within your reach right now.

this is the wisdom of bell hooks: daily rituals of meaning and resistance and solidarity are part of slowly building a future where you can make the change you really need. and only alive people can do that. every step you take towards change and power is another step away from death.

[drrevchurchdoctor]

If your ego has only died once you’re not there yet

[ceeroosa]

if you have both anxiety and eating issues i cannot recommend enough getting yourself an interactive snack that you can pick apart and nibble with your hands, like a pomegranite or a pomelo or - god i wish i could find them in stores - rambutans

something to really trigger the feeling of being a sweet little baby monkey in a forest

[ceeroosa]

and i wake in the morning and i have a stye

so i get a teabag and put it on my eye

screm at the top of my lungs: that fuckin BURNS!

[danceundersparklinglights]

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

[rambrandt-the-painter]

I keep thinking about harpies

[ceeroosa]

man i sure hope that squirrel drops dead from anxiety already

[yb-cringe]

hi welcome to ocd simulator; there is not a gun in your backpack. but also you should check. also dont go through any metal detectors. but also dont be obvious about it because you have a gun. but also you dont and dont Check because that also makes it seem like you have a gun. no i know you have a tiny cross chest bag. its just a really tiny gun.

[sillymouse27]

Like. You guys do know that reading something that's AI doesn't, like, put a mark on your soul or something, right?

I avoid AI 'art' because, honestly, I think it's stupid and uninteresting and that people who use AI to create are hacks. But the way some people talk, it seems like they genuinely believe that interacting with AI-generated content forever contaminates their moral character.

Why are we still finding new ways to panic about moral purity??

[ceeroosa]

it's the cultural christianity innit

[sickle-clawed]

See the thing about the whole Claude AI exposing document thing is that as great as it sounds in theory, I can see how this leads to even more harassment and witch hunts in practice.

People have said the tag is unique to Claude only and therefore there’s no way a human-made fic could have gotten wrongly flagged as AI. But how accurate and trustworthy worthy this is, really? Even IF, hypothetically, this method is proved correct 99 times out of 100, that still means “there is 1 time out of 100 times where a human-made fic is wrongly flagged as AI due to an error”. And that to me nullified the credibility of the whole doc. Like, sorry for not trusting another newly-introduced machine and for being skeptical about it.

“But how could the tag get there if the author didn’t use AI?” Besides the possibility of an error, I can already see people weaponize this method by faking screenshots of fics that are about the ships or topics that they hate to make it look like these fics have Claude tag in them, and then spreading those fake screenshots around. And the worst part is that authors cannot prove their innocence because people would just say “they got caught so now they removed the Claude tag from their fics”.

Like. I hate AI, but I hate witch hunts, accusations and harassments more.

These comments below sum it up really well.

[redshift-corridor]

It's very telling that people will argue to hell and back against any and all possible flaws of this thing because this AI detector is 100% totally infallible this time trust me bro, but every single "flaw" in a fic that has been sern in AI texts MUST mean the writer was 100% totally using AI to write this trust me bro.

Almost like the people who claim they want to avoid actually want the opposite. They spend so much time and effort to try to detect AI that they could be spending reading because... idk actually. Maybe it's another weird purity thing where you're eternally tainted by seeing something "bad." Maybe they're addicted to the rush of feeling morally superior for five seconds on the internet and have discovered a new way to fill that hole.

It's so painfully clear that they want to find as much AI as possible for some reason. These are not people engaging with fandom for fun, they're here to destroy.

And if you, dear reader, engage in this behavior and for some reason genuinely believe you're doing a good thing, take a step back and take a good hard look at why you're more preoccupied with detecting perceived AI to the point of driving the actual real creators you claim you want to protect out of fandom, instead of investing all that effort into supporting those creators.

[ispyspookymansion]

being a horror fan will have you saying sentences such as “i liked it a lot, super gross and sad”

[nothing-an-iratze-cant-fix]

Also true crime

[ispyspookymansion]

no thats a different and worse thing i am not associated with you

[ceeroosa]

yeah i actually don't think it's acceptable to say "we should completely erase this art from existence" and "it has no value whatsoever"

primarily bc im not a child

[willgrahamscock]

some of you need to realize that your faves would be having unsafe bdsm sex because they don’t actually know what bdsm sex is, they just want to fuck and also kill each other. you must understand this.

[willgrahamscock]

you don’t have to write safe practices and contract agreements. your audience knows not to apply any of this in their real lives, sasuke doesn’t know what a safe word is im begging you please write the toxic yaoi

[paperstorm]

I love you weird fanfiction. I love you unpopular kink. I love you unsanitized sex scenes. I love you fics that the mean girls make fun of on twitter. I love you monster fucking. I love you daddy kinks and foot fetishes and water sports. I love you stories about complex human emotions and bad choices with no consequences and characters hurting each other. I love you threesomes or polycules. I love you rare pairs. I love you furry art. I love you dark fantasies. I love you kink that’s so specific and self indulgent it was clearly written just for the person writing it. I love you ships that people think you shouldn’t be allowed to ship. I love you anyone who has the courage to put their art into a public space when that art is weird, or dark, or taboo, or something that will be considered unacceptable by the puritanical fandom police.

[ceeroosa]

OK so what does real sexual and gender liberation look like for you because i thought maybe it could be for everyone but i feel like i'm seeing a whole lot of "queer people are so much more interesting and enlightened and experience sex and gender in such a special unique way that's incomprehensible to non-queers" right now so im just wondering, like, what the point of that is

[ozempicofficial]

[creekfiend]

a funny thing about having conversations with people within institutions (academic in this case but also others) about gatekeeping, is that you end up having a conversation over and over in which you're like, "hey this alligator spike pit moat you have erected around your institution is keeping a lot of people out," and they're like, "well *I* navigated the alligator spike pit moat just fine," and you're like, "right. by dint of us having this conversation, you within the institution and me without, it is understood that you navigated the alligator spike pit moat. due to that being an inherent requirement of entering the institution," and they're like, "I don't think you understand the prestigious history of our alligator spike pit moat," and you're like, "is there a reason why there needs to be an alligator spike pit moat encircling the concept of higher education?" and they're like, "look, the alligator spike pit moat isn't for everyone. some people just aren't cut out for the alligator spike pit moat :)" and you're like, "right, yeah, like disabled people and people coming from poverty or unstable home environments or underserved communities or people dealing with difficult to navigate life events like pregnancy or abuse or prison or addiction or the death of a loved one, for example" and they're like, "how dare you imply that we are keeping those people out on purpose. it's their own problem if they can't wrestle the alligators and avoid the spikes while also disabled and/or poor and/or pregnant etc" and you're like, "well that seems evil," and they're like, "it sounds like maybe you're just bitter about the alligator spike pit moat because of your totally random individual experience with ONE bad alligator spike pit moat. have you considered therapy?" and you're like, "did you know that there's some patterns here in terms of how y'all are handling this stuff?" and they're like, "actually yes. we even have a department of alligator spike pit studies :)" and you're like, "that's great, how do I get access to and participate in those conversations?" and they're like, "well firstly you must cross the alligator spike pit moat"

[creekfiend]

if you can document that you have a medical condition that might make it challenging for you to navigate the alligator spike pit moat, they'll give you an extra 20 minutes to complete your navigation of the alligator spike pit moat

[creekfiend]

IMPORTANT: any injuries incurred as a result of navigating the alligator spike pit moat will be the sole responsibility of the injured parties. once you leave, the people who made you navigate the alligator spike pit moat and the institution that installed the alligator spike pit moat will never contact you again. except sometimes to ask you for more money.