It was a stage name from a line of a song that I made when I was a trainee that naturally stuck to me amongst the company staff and members, and is a (name) that I have, as expected, grown very fond of over this period of time.Ā
However, after promoting under the name āBTS Rap Monster,ā I realized that the name āBTS Rap Monsterā was a bit long, and that the distance between this name and the music Iāve made for the past 5 years along with the music I want to show you from now on is slowly getting bigger.
As expected, at some time, I had slowly begun to introduce myself simply as Rap Mon or RM rather than the full name of Rap Monster.Ā
Therefore, in the future, in greater accordance to the music I aim (to produce), I will change my promotional [stage] name to āRMā which I have believe has a wider spectrum.Ā
I believe that several fans may have already noticed through several occasions that various songs and my mixtape have been released under āRM.āĀ
I have carefully thought this over for a long period of time with a heart that wants to produce music in the future for a long time, at some place, with a non-restricted, open heart and outlook.Ā
Although it may be a bit awkward and unfamiliar that I have come to change my stage name that I have had prior to debut, I would be truly grateful if you would all welcome me who, after a long time of thinking, has come to start again with a new name.Ā
Genre: Fluff, attempts at comedy and mentions of smut if ya wanna.
Word Count: 880.
Your lips were parted and your eyebrows were furrowed as his hot, heavy breaths hit the shell of your ear. His hands were firmly placed on your hips, fingers digging with just the right amount of pressure to keep you in place as you arched your neck upwards, exposing your throat to the cold air of the practice room. Your knees curled when you felt you back being pressed flush against his chest and held out your arms, gaze fixed on the mirror wall to observe the position of your bodies.
āNo, this is not it. We need to do it again,ā you shook your head and straightened your body back to normal, hearing Jongin huff quietly as he put you back down.
āWhatās the matter, Y/N? I swear weāve done this bit two hundred times already,ā he whined as he followed you to look at the screen of your phone, which you insisted you two used to record the practice and fix up any mistakes. Kai had thought it was a good idea at first, but now, as he saw you pause on what he thought was a perfectly executed transition and point at your own feet, he was starting to regret his agreement.
āIām supposed to be en pointe before you pick me up but I keep forgetting, see?ā You looked at him and nodded towards the screen with an expression that screamed āI donāt know why you donāt see itā, to which he just rolled his eyes and turned around to stride towards his water bottle.
āI think thatās as en pointe as it gets. You have a bone structure, you know?ā He teased you with a small smile, you were always too hard on yourself so he tried to get you to relax as much as he could. Sometimes, his attempts even included making a fool out of himself, that evening was the case. āOkay, miss I-want-to-be-an-actual-doll,ā you huffed and his smile grew as he started moonwalking towards the centre of the practice room. āLetās do it again from the top, and make sure to re-ā
You turned around from still stressing over the recording when you heard a loud thud, followed by an enthusiastic string of 'fuckās as Kai rubbed the back of his head which had instants ago bounced against the floor. āYou okay? How even do you trip on a tile flo- ohā¦ā He showed you his sole with a small chuckle and you couldnāt help but start laughing once you knew he was okay. āThatās what you get for rehearsing with old stage shoes, you dumbass.ā
He shrugged and sat down on the floor to take off his boots. āTheyāre making me dance in these at the concert anyway, gotta get used,ā he chose for lame defense before throwing the pair inside his bag. āI guess weāre done rehearsing anyway, I canāt dance in socks.ā He gulped the last bit remaining of his water and walked over to you, ready to leave.
You were gathering up your things as well when you nodded, agreeing with him before something crossed your head. āIām hoping you donāt think you can walk back home in socks either, thereās surely a great variety and at least one new kind of fungus waiting impatiently to join the EXO dorms. Here, take these,ā you fetched him your extra ballerina shoes and his grin turned into a straight line as he catched them mid-air.
āYou better not fucking tell Chen I walked back home in ballerina shoes, heād never let me live past it,ā you let out a bright laugh as you saw him struggle with fitting his feet into your shoes and curse at you for it. āItās not my fault youāre Bigfootās third cousin, now hurry up, Iām hungry,ā you grinned when he stuck his tongue out at you as if you were nine and confectioned a pretty bow as a knot for the shoes.
You two walked out and headed to your house for dinner. Jongin and you had been friends since the first day of training nine years ago, since the directors kept pairing you two up, you ended up spending lots of time together so gather ups werenāt uncommon even now that you two were each living on your own and had a successful career in idol groups. While you showered, he ordered take out for both of you and you set everything up as he showered afterwards.
As usual, he once again forgot to tell the person on the phone not to add onions to your order because of your allergies, so you once again ended up eating his fried chicken not feeling one ounce of guilt as he looked at it while eating your order, regretting his life decisions. It was okay, though. You knew you couldnāt rely on him and letting him order your food would more likely than not cause you to be close to death, but you could rely on him for other things. You could rely on his strong arms holding you up securely whenever you had to practice an intricate figure, and he could rely on you always having an extra pair of ballerina shoes to cover up for his mistakes. Talking about regretting life decisionsā¦
A/N: This smol piece of I donāt know was inspired by that gif. I was planning to write a smut but that gif came across and I couldnāt help it. Iāll still write the smut but I had to do this, Iām not sorry.
Characters: BTSā Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Angst and a hint of Fluff
Word Count: 2,970
Rolling his head to the side, Taehyung sighs. This is the fifth Corona he finishes in the last two and a half hours, the clear bottle now joining its peers on the small neglected carpet. He canāt exactly tell the last time he cooked a proper meal for himself, but it was some time around last week, or the week beforeā¦ maybe.
He had been rejecting Jiminās texts inviting him to join in on club nights with the other boys. Even if he called, Taehyung just told him he was too busy. He just wasnāt in the mood, he hadnāt been in the mood for anything since that night you left. His life had become a loop of sleeping, showering, half-heartedly slurping in some instant noodles whenever he felt his stomach growl, and watching some senseless movies or series on Netflix until he felt like sleeping again. He hadnāt been to the studio in a week, and whenever he showed up before that, he could barely walk or was absolutely hungover.
He just canāt take you out of his head. Showering reminds him of you, he could swear he can smell your body wash in the morning when he wakes up, or your hair tickling his neck whenever he turns around in his sleep. He could swear he can hear your quiet huffs whenever he presses play on yet another episode of Breaking Bad, your fingers running through his hair right as his eyelids start to give up on him, pulling him into a dream where heās complaining, trying to work on his first solo song while you jam out to your favorite song.
Youāve never had the most gifted of voices, but he didnāt mind. He used to love hearing you trying to hit especially high notes, your voice cracking in a way he found funny yet endearing. He was just so head over heels for you, when did that change? He started to come home just one hour later than usual, that hour eventually becoming two, three, sixā¦ More often than not you were already fast asleep whenever he came home, and he was too tired to wake you up, so he just turned his back on you and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He stopped sending you good morning texts whenever he woke up to an empty bed due to you being at college, he stopped sending you heads up texts when he knew he was going to be late for dinner.
He stopped waking you up with sweet kisses on your neck whenever he had a free day, sneaking a hand under your shirt to let his fingers feel your warm skin whenever youād watch a show and cuddle on the couch. He stopped paying attention to your rants about your day, focusing more on his texts with Hoseok about a move he couldnāt get quite right that afternoon during practice, he stopped cracking jokes at you and teasing you for being too short to reach the utensils in the kitchen. He stopped being your boyfriend until one day you decided youād had enough.
He was sitting down on his desk, writing and scribbling and scrunching papers as he had been for the past three days, brows furrowed in concentration when you appeared from the side, holding two dresses in front of you. āHey, Mozart,ā you teased and he hummed in acknowledgment. āBlue or green? Youāre wearing your green shirt, right?ā To your last question, he arched one of his full eyebrows without lifting his head from his notes āMe? Why would I wear that now?ā. You licked your bottom lip and stared at his back in disappointment, you were expecting this to happen anyway. āOur three years dinner, Tae. The reservation was for today,ā you reminded him calmly, holding onto the bit of hope you still had. He turned around to face you and let his eyes roam over your figure. He canāt deny he felt a pinch of guilt tug at his heart at that moment, but that didnāt stop his calm words when he looked at you in the eye. āIām sorry, babe, Iām really tired and I think Iām finally getting somewhere with this.ā
Your face dropped completely when he just sent you an apologetic smile and turned back around to keep scribbling on his notebook. It was that simple for him, an āIām sorryā and a small smile fixed it all. But it wasnāt, you were tired of āIām sorryās, you were tired of excuses, you were tired of him being too tired for you.
āSure, donāt worry about it.ā You spoke your preset words and walked back to your shared bedroom to leave both dresses back on top of the bed. You stepped into a pair of black jeans and threw on your favorite hoodie, not one of his. It took you about twenty minutes to throw as much of your stuff as you could inside of a backpack and call one of your friends to ask if you could stay with her for a few days.
As you reached for your phone charger on the corner of his desk, he took a quick glance at you and had to do a double take to realize you didnāt have your usual sleeping clothes on. Instead, you were dressed to go out. āWhere you going?ā he asked casually and for the first time noticed how you had put makeup on and done your hair. He was forced out of his small inspection by the words that left your lips next.
āIām leaving.ā
You spoke to him with such a serene tone and looked at him with such a normal expression that he thought it was a joke at first, so he just played along. āLeaving where, I bought dinner on my way back from the studio when I went to che-ā, he was interrupted by you once again. āIām serious, Tae. Iām leaving. I canāt take this anymore.ā
His expression changed so quickly that it was almost funny. His eyebrows furrowed and he let his eyes shift towards your fingers holding tightly onto the strap of your bag. āBecause of the dinner? Donāt be dramatic, we can go out tomorrow night. Iāll come home early, I promise. Now go change.ā He spoke in a condescending tone as if he were speaking to a child before going back to his notes yet again and you could feel your ears heat up at that moment.
āThe reservation was for tonight, though. I made it three weeks ago, and I told you. But of course, you were too tired to pay attention,ā at this point, he just dropped his pen and turned on his chair with his hands on his lap and looked at you with a bored expression, eyes begging you to continue and finish already so he could go back to focusing. āYouāve been too tired for the last six months. There hasnāt been one single day where you havenāt told me youāre too tired to watch a movie, too tired to touch me, too tired to have dinner with me in our kitchen. Were you even listening when I told you last night that my partner for my thesis decided to drop out and now I have six months to complete a one-year work on my own and I have no fucking clue where to start? I donāt think so, you were probably too tired for that too. Youāre not the only one here with stuff to do, with a schedule to keep and deadlines to meet. Youāre not the only one here staying extra hours working on your stuff and stressing over it. But you know what? You are the only one thatās too tired to be with me, though. Iāve been having a shitty time trying not to come to my fucking boyfriend with my problems because heās ātoo tiredā to cope up with me. And you know what? Thatās not right at all, I shouldnāt need to stress about that as if I was whining twenty-four seven. Iām leaving and I wonāt be on my phone, so donāt call me or text me and expect me to reply. Iāll take a few weeks, not too long, and text you to meet up and talk once Iāve decided if I want to stay in this relationship or not, and I will hear you out if you have anything to say. I love you, Tae, but I hate feeling like a nuisance when I do not cling to you not demand attention from you all the time.ā
He took a deep breath once you were finished and brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. āYouāre being childish, Y/N. Weāre not sixteen,ā he replied shortly, not being able to recall something on his behavior lately that was worthy of such a scene. āIf thatās what you need, take your time.ā He looked at you straight in the eye and you figured there was no use on saying anything else, so you just turned around and stepped on your shoes before disappearing out the door.
Not being ones to cry, neither of you shed a tear that night. You spent the night ranting to your friend in anger and Taehyung buried himself into his lyrics until his eyes gave up. It took him three days to notice you really werenāt coming back. He had expected you to come home the next day but you didnāt. He was used to your warmth on the bed whenever he came home so sleeping on the big bed on his own after two years became a little too uncomfortable and cold.
On the fourth night, he tried texting you for the first time.
To: Y/N
Cāmon, donāt make such a huge deal out of this. Ā Ā Ā Ā 12:36 a.m
As expected, you didnāt reply. It just angered him, he still didnāt understand why it was such a big deal, itās not like heād never been busy before. Youāve been dating him for three years, Jesus Christ! He was a musician, werenāt writerās block and bad moods supposed to be part of the hassle? Well, he technically wasnāt a songwriter, but he was trying something new, couldnāt you just cut him some slack?
Coronas became his best friends that night, and he had kept drinking them until he had no other choice than to go to sleep or drop his stomachal content on the toilet yet again. Namjoon had sent him home with a kick in the ass and an Advil tablet the fourth consecutive night he showed up to practice almost speaking another language from so much slurring and tripping over his own words.
He had spent those two next weeks as a zombie, living mainly on the couch of your shared apartment and his side of the bed. At the moment your text arrives, heās starting to get up to head to sleep and the notification sound makes him jump slightly and falling ass down on the couch. āWho the fuck is texting me at three fucking a.m?ā
From: Y/N
Is it okay if I come over tomorrow night? Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 3:15 a.m.
He looks around and curses at himself for making such a mess. He replies with a quick āSureā and silently thanks you for not wanting to come in the morning when heād still be hungover out of his mind. He makes sure to set up an alarm and swallow a couple of Advils after breakfast before starting to clean up the mess that was the apartment. He surprises himself with the amount of instant noodles packages heās managed to hog up in the span of two weeks and does his best to leave the apartment as good as it would be on a normal day with you.
You arrive at exactly eight p.m, drenched from the suddenly pouring rain and he wonāt admit he spent a little bit more than five minutes choosing his ācasual, just playing gamesā outfit, but he pays it no mind when he pulls you in quickly before shutting the door. He hands you a towel and gets you dry clothes from the wardrobe. You canāt help but feel a sting of warmth cross your heart at the way he helps you dry your hair off so gently and the fact that he got you your favorite pair of sweats to change onto. You two have take-out dinner and try your best at small talk about your time away. You tell him about your friendās son and his little quirks and you two laugh for a few hours, toning down the tense atmosphere with some neutral talk.
You didnāt come to have a date, though, so you eventually get serious and call his name to tell him what you resolved in your two weeks away, wanting to hear his response as well. He, nevertheless, surprises you with his response. āCan we talk in the morning? Itās raining, and itās lateā you look at the clock and heās right, itās slightly past midnight. āyou look tired too, why donāt we just sleep for a few hours and then Iāll listen to all you have to say, no interruptions?ā. You stay silent and look at him, thinking how lame his convincing sounds but you comply anyways.
You two head to bed and lay down, both laying on your backs. Itās like the tense atmosphere from before has come back before he turns on his side to look at you, his expression serious as he stares at you directly in your eyes. āI know you didnāt come here to talk,ā he speaks calmly yet not dismissive this time and you turn your head to look at him. Your heart starts to feel heavy when you stare back at him and see the small hint of sadness in his eyes. āI came to pick up my clothes,ā you tell him in a small voice, breathing slowly and feeling your world flip upside down when he says his next words.
āYouāre wearing Jaesukās earrings, Iāve always thought they were obnoxious,ā he smiles faintly and you bite your lip, trying to hold back the tears at the mention of your college mate. He had been your support ever since Taehyung started shifting away from you and you slowly fell for him, finding the smallest excuse to leave Taehyung. At the moment it seemed like a good idea so you wouldnāt hurt his pride, but he knew. Taehyung isnāt a dumb guy, nor an innocent one, and the dam in your eyes gives in when he lifts a hand to brush his large thumb across your cheek. āIām sorry,ā is all you can mutter before your voice breaks and your throat starts to hurt as you cry silently.
āNo, Iām sorry I lost you like this and gave him the opportunity,ā he shakes his head slightly and brushes your hair behind your ear. He isnāt crying, but you can tell by the slight pout tugging from his lips that heās fighting the tears just as much as you were. You know him so well, and you are so in love with him, with the Taehyung in front of you right now. You turn on your side so youāre now facing him with your whole body and you bite your lip.
āIām not going to give up, Y/N. I was an asshole but I know now what it is to be without you and itās not what I want at all. Itās not what you wanted either, and Iāll try my best to get you to feel like that again. I will get you back, okay?ā He speaks with a firm tone and you canāt help but start sobbing. Whyād he have to change? This is the Taehyung you know, not the one that youāve been living with for the last six months. Why did he have to change and give you the perfect chance to fall in love with someone else? What if this is just because you left? What if this is just one more of his excuses? You cover your face with your hands, not baring his stare anymore and he pulls you closer by your waist.
You cry into his chest and let his strong arms wrap around you, wrapping your own around his torso and pressing your forehead to his shoulder, eyes closed until you fall asleep like that. Youāve been missing his touch for the past six months and getting to feel it again under this situation was making your heart shrink with too many emotions. Happiness for being between his arms, relief because he wasnāt mad at you, guilt for having run to another man so fast, fear of this being just temporary, insecurity because of your feelings towards Jaesukā¦ You just couldnāt bear to think about it anymore so you end up falling asleep.
Taehyung buries his face in your hair and waits until your breathing slows down to finally inhale deeply and let a few tears escape his eyes. He feels so stupid, heās disappointed on both you and himself for letting this happen. He doesnāt want to lose you, though, that he knows for sure. You two have been through too much for this to be the reason it all ends. He doesnāt know how heāll manage to fix the mess he made with his friends in the past two weeks and with you in the past six months, but heāll find a way. Not today though, today heāll hold you to sleep and revel in your warmth. He doesnāt plan on leaving the bed or you today, today heās just too tired.
A/N: This is my first attempt at writing after literally (not misusing the word) years so yeah, also yes this is totally an excuse.
I've created this blog to upload some of my writing and why not take requests for reactions! I'll take requests for BTS, Monsta X, EXO(OT12 if you want to) and NCT U for now!
Please go easy on me for now since I'm just starting! You can send NSFW requests if you want to, but that won't be the main point of the blog.
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