enemies to lovers: a thesis!
pairing: grad student!haechan x grad student!reader
genre: fluff, slight angst
word count: 10.2k
synopsis: academic validation and beating lee donghyuck are your only motivations in life. spoiler alert: you end up achieving only one of the two.
authorâs note: this was supposed to be released for holo LMAO better late than never? anyways ladies this is fiction <3 do NOT ever give a male english major the time of day - signed an english major (p.s. i mention christmas exactly one time in this so this counts as a holiday fic)
warning(s): sexism in academia, brief descriptions of sexual harassment
playlist: rose-colored boy by paramore â enemies by lauv â always, everytime by the wrecks â Â let it happen by gracie abrams â running home by jade lemac
Act I) And when I close my eyes, I see you for who you truly are, which is UUUG-LAY.
When it comes to receiving bad news, you would consider yourself pretty good at handling it. Youâve always been the type to compartmentalize and try to find the most rational way to react. Having such an analytical personality is part of the reason why you decided to pursue an English degree in college. Sure, some may consider you cold and elitist, but to that you respondâwell, yes!
That being said, youâre about 30 seconds away from hurling up your breakfast burrito and $8 matcha latte in a projectile fashion.Â
You stare at Dr. Min, the Program Director of the English Department and your mentor, like she just dropkicked you in the gut. Normally, your mouth would be agape with despair and horror, but you smartly keep your lips sealed tight due to previously mentioned urge to spill chunks all over her pristine office.Â
The situation is worsened by the fact that there is a creature standing right beside you, looking only slightly disgruntled. Like he just received a cup of cold coffee level of disgruntled. As if Dr. Min didnât just casually destroy your entire world.Â
The creature goes by the name of Lee Donghyuck. Heâs barely a human, simply masquerading as one with his fluffy hair and glowy skin. Rather, heâs just a walking, talking literary reference to the most pretentious authors ever. His sole reason for existence is to compete with you for teacherâs pet. The two of you have been vying for Dr. Minâs attention since you both got into grad school. More specifically, you both have been competing for the eventual letter of recommendation that youâll need from her in order to get into the highly prestigious PhD program. Sheâs super selective of who she will write the letter for, so you and Donghyuck essentially have been in a constant WWE brawl to kiss her ass.Â
âTwo graduate faculty members are on sabbatical, so the amount of staff available to vote on your papers are an even number,â Dr. Min had explained, âHence, why weâre in this situation. You both have the same amount of votes.âÂ
âCanât you just be the tiebreaker, Dr. Min?â Donghyuck asks, carding a hand through his brown hair. Itâs still tinted a light purple hue from when he dyed it to cosplay Rafayel from Love and Deepspace for Halloween. Yes, he does play a gacha dating sim about random men who look AI-generated. Of his many sins, this is low on your list.Â
Dr. Min shakes her head, smiling apologetically. âYou know I always abstain from voting when it comes to my menteesâ papers.âÂ
âSo, whatâs going to happen now? Which one of us will be going to the symposium?â you ask, finally managing to gather yourself and speak up. Despite your best efforts, you feel another wave of nausea hit you when Dr. Min glances your way. Thereâs something about the way sheâs so poised and collected that always makes you think sheâs silently judging you.Â
âThatâs what Iâve called you both here for,â she trails off, clapping her hands together. âIâve decided that, for the first time in this universityâs history, we will be sending two representatives to the annual Shakespeare Scholars Research Symposium!âÂ
Dr. Min pauses, most likely expecting celebratory cheers from the two of you. However, sheâs met with stone-cold silence. You and Donghyuck just stand there stiffly, arms hanging limp by your sides and faces scrunched like you just ate the dog food flavored jelly bean from the BeanBoozled game.Â
âDonât get too excited, now,â Dr. Min jokes awkwardly. âWhy the doom and gloom?âÂ
âButâŠour papers are way too similar. It wouldnât make sense for both of us to go,â you protest.Â
As much as you hate to admit it, you and Donghyuck are often interested in the same topics and themes when it comes to your research papers. This time is also no exception. For this paper, you decided to write about the female empowerment in the classic 1999 romcom 10 Things I Hate About You compared to the original source material, Shakespeareâs The Taming of the Shrew. Meanwhile, Donghyuck (because heâs incapable of not riding on your coattails) decided to write about gender identity in the classic 2006 romcom Sheâs the Man compared to Shakespeareâs Twelfth Night.Â
âWell, the concepts are certainly similar, but the actual content is different,â Dr. Min replies, âBesides, I think we need more pop culture in academia.âÂ
When you and Donghyuck fail to respond again, she huffs. âCome on, you guys! I know the two of you are competitive, but itâs a wonderful opportunity. This is going to look amazing on your CV when you apply for the PhD program.âÂ
The mention of the PhD program makes you and Donghyuck perk up like meerkats, and you know Dr. Min did it on purpose.Â
âThank you so much for the opportunity, Dr. Min. We would be happy to represent the university together,â Donghyuck quickly says, putting on the fakest smile youâve ever seen. His eyes sparkle in a way that reminds you of those shiny plastic dolls that end up having a demonic spirit in them. Then he looks over at you and beams through grit teeth, âWouldnât we?âÂ
A fake smile of your own slowly spreads across your face like paralyzing venom as you glare at Donghyuck. âYes, of course.âÂ
âGood.â Dr. Min nods, satisfied. âIâm glad to see that you two are getting along better. Iâll see you on Friday at the airport, bright and early.âÂ
You and Donghyuck say your goodbyes to her before marching out of her office like the twins from The Shining. The moment the door closes behind you, the two of you recoil from each other like being within 6 feet of one another will make your skin melt off. You both start speedwalking to the exit of the building at the same pace, completely parallel to each other on opposite sides of the hallway.Â
âYou are such a two-faced liar,â you hiss in a hushed whisper, âAlways making me look like the difficult one while youâre all happy-go-lucky, kumbaya.âÂ
âWell, if it always looks like it, then maybe itâs the case, donât you think?â Donghyuck sweetly retorts.Â
âOoh, burn,â you say sarcastically, âYour words might actually have some merit if there wasnât steam coming off the top of your overinflated, egoistic head. I know youâre just as pissed about this as I am.âÂ
âOh, Y/N. You are always so shortsighted,â Donghyuck sighs dramatically, shaking his head. âDonât you see the bigger picture?
âOh, this will be good,â you say wryly, crossing your arms and waiting for him to continue.Â
âElementary, my dear Watsonââ he starts.
âDoyle never wrote that lineââ you quickly interrupt.Â
He rolls his eyes. âYou donât deserve to be Watson. Youâre Moriarty.âÂ
âWhy do I feel like I have to go through the Labors of Hercules in order for you to get to your point whenever I talk to you?â you demand.Â
âAs I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, this symposium will be a great opportunity to settle this once and for all. You know they always give out a Best Research Paper award at the end. We may have tied today, but our tiebreaker can be that award. Whoever wins gets the recommendation letter from Dr. Min,â Donghyuck smugly explains.Â
âYou know, maybe thereâs not just Helium in that skull of yours,â you smile, âI think thatâs a great idea. I suppose a broken clock is right twice a day. â
âYou are so eloquent when it comes to insulting me, yet I donât see any of that fire in your actual writing?â Donghyuck questions, blinking innocently.Â
âOh, Iâll show youââÂ
Youâre just about to rattle off another one of your eloquent insults when a loud howl of wind from the outside interrupts you, making the two of you jolt. Just as you reach the doors to the building, you see through the glass that the sky is a smoky, hazy gray. Rain is starting to fall, and it looks like it's about to become a torrential downpour in a little bit.Â
You curse under your breath, thinking about your five minute walk to the bus station and whether or not you can beat out the thunderstorm.Â
âWell, this certainly has to be a bad omen,â Donghyuck says unhelpfully.Â
You jerk your head towards him and jab a finger in his direction. âThis isnât over. I have to catch the bus before I get waterboarded by this rain. Iâll deal with you on Friday. Until then, stay out of my sight.âÂ
Donghyuck shrugs, fishing out an umbrella from his backpack. Because of course he needs to flaunt the fact that he has an umbrella and you donât.Â
âSounds good to me,â he replies casually.Â
Steeling yourself for the rain and wind to pelt your face, you open the door in one fell swoop and walk outsideâexcept youâre not getting wet because Donghyuck is trailing behind you and holding his umbrella above your head.Â
âUh, why are you following me?â you ask as he moves to walk beside you, even though you know his car is parked in the opposite direction.Â
âCurb your main character syndrome, Y/N. I have somewhere to be, and it happens to be in the same direction,â he sighs.Â
âWhere?â you probe, suspicious.Â
âI donât believe thatâs any of your business,â he answers snottily.Â
âThen why are you sharing your umbrella with me? Did you get visited by three ghosts on Christmas?â you demand.Â
âIs it really sharing if youâre just standing next to me and happen to be in the radius of my umbrella?â he ponders.Â
âYouâre like a bridge troll that asks people three riddles before letting them pass,â you sigh.Â
âPlease. As if you could ever solve my riddles.âÂ
You respond by flipping him off, and he just grins.Â
The two of you walk the rest of the way in silence, the sounds of the rain growing heavier and cars speeding by serving as your only background noise. Occasionally, his elbow bumps your arm due to your proximity to each other. The mixture of the thick humidity in the air and the drifting scent of his fabric softener makes your head swim.Â
When you make it to the bus station, you donât say bye to him, nor does he say it to you. Instead, he swiftly turns on his heel and walks back. He doesnât look back at you either, so your eyes linger on his back for just a tad longer than they should.Â
You notice that one of his shoulders is damp, the sleeve of his shirt sticking to his skin, as raindrops roll down his arm.Â
Act II) Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?
Donghyuck is being eerily quiet this morning, and itâs starting to unnerve you.Â
He didnât even jump at the opportunity to compliment Dr. Minâs new haircut (that she got specifically for this conference) the moment she arrived at the airport. When the three of you walked over to the security check line, he just stood there, thumbs tucked underneath the straps of his backpack as he bounced on the balls of his feet. If he heard even a second of the conversation you and Dr. Min were having, he gave no indication of it.Â
Heâs never this silent unless heâs scheming something.Â
At one point, you started eyeing the security cameras nearby to see if you had accidentally gotten yourself on a prank show. As if this was all an elaborate setup by Donghyuck in order to humiliate you, and you werenât going to the symposium after all. For a brief moment, you imagine Dr. Min also being in on the ruse and laughing with him about how awful your paper was and how funny it is that you actually thought you had a chance.Â
Maybe your therapist was right about you having paranoia issues.Â
Your delusions begin taking over your mind until you finally canât take it anymore. Once the two of you get situated on the plane (Dr. Min got put up in first class, and you and Donghyuck were relegated to economy as lowly grad students), you finally ask:
âOkay, what is your problem? Youâre acting weirdâer than usual.â
Donghyuck is looking straight ahead, peering at the folded tray table on the seat in front of him. It takes him a second to acknowledge your words, turning towards you with a strained smirk.Â
âWow, are you worried about me?â His voice trembles.Â
It isnât until he turns towards you that you finally get a good look at his face. His normally glowing complexion is completely blanched, and his expression is strained, twisted into a grimace. In other words, he looks completely terrified. It scares you a little too.Â
âJesus,â you breathe, leaning in, ânow I kind of am. Are you sick?âÂ
âI guess thatâs one way to describe it,â he laughs, closing his eyes and leaning back. âMentally and physically, yes. But not, like, in a stomach flu kind of way.â
You pause, studying his face. âAre youâŠafraid of flying?â
He opens one eye and glances over at you. âHow much aura would I lose if I said yes?â
You lightly shove his arm. âBe serious. You have no aura anyways.âÂ
âOuch. Thatâs one of the more hurtful things youâve said to me recently.âÂ
âSeriously, are you okay?â you ask firmly.Â
âOf course,â he replies, inhaling but his breath hitches, âIâll have to be. This paper isnât going to present itself.âÂ
âWhy didnât you tell anyone?â
âWhat good would that do? Besides look super lame and give you another thing to hold against me,â he jokes.Â
You snort. âWhy would I hold this against you when I have actual legitimate reasons to find you lame?âÂ
Donghyuck looks genuinely taken aback, eyes widening like a newborn doe. His voice is quiet and hopeful, almost innocent, when he says, â...Yeah?âÂ
He sounds so sincere that you feel your face grow warm. âThat is so rude. What kind of monster do you think I am? No matter how much I hate you, Iâm not such a terrible person that I would make fun of your phobias.âÂ
He blinks. âNo, thatâs not what I meantââ
âWhatever. I donât want you to think I have something over you now, so weâll make it even,â you announce, âIâll tell you one of my fears too.âÂ
âY/N, you donât have toââ
âWhen we were going through security earlier and you were being super quiet, I fully thought you and Dr. Min had planned an elaborate prank on me in which I wasnât actually going to the symposium and that you were only letting me believe I was when, in fact, my paper was terrible,â you confess, blurting everything out in one breath.Â
Donghyuck stares at you, completely bewildered. âSo, you think Iâm such a monster that I wouldââÂ
âMy point being,â you continue, âthat I have an irrational fear of being left out. Because Iâm not good enough.âÂ
âY/NââÂ
âBut this doesnât mean that Iâm not gonna kick your ass at the symposium. I will be getting that award. JustâŠsometimes I gaslight myself into thinking the opposite,â you quickly add, realizing that you may have just given away a little too much of yourself.Â
Thatâs the thing with Donghyuck. Itâs really easy to forget about everything else when youâre bickering with him. Youâve never had to worry about what to say to him. Heâs so smug and annoying and irritating that it makes you feel like you can do anything if it means being able to beat him.Â
Maybe thatâs why you freaked out so much when he was so quiet this morning. Maybe thatâs why youâre telling him this now.Â
âYou know, you couldâve just said spiders or something,â he finally says after a long pause, a shit-eating grin finding its way to his lips. The color has come back to his face, and heâs got that mischievous spark in his eye again.Â
âFirstly, Iâm not afraid of spiders. Secondly, youâre an unbelievably huge asshole.â You cross your arms. âI canât believeââÂ
âY/N.â Donghyuck reaches over and gently tugs on the sleeve of your sweater. His touch makes you fall silent. âIâm only going to say this once. And if you try to bring it up again, Iâll deny it, so listen carefully.â
You roll your eyes, waiting for another terrible joke.Â
âLook at me,â he whispers, leaning in to make sure your eyes meet his. His brown eyes are so dark that they almost look black, like pools of obsidian, yet his gaze is so warm and firm as if you were being enveloped by a warm sunrise. The soft expression on his face anchors you to your seat, and you canât bring yourself to look away despite knowing you probably should.Â
âYou are brilliant,â he states, as if theyâre the truest words in the world.Â
His sincerity catches you completely off guard, and your mind goes blank. All you can think about is the way heâs looking at you like heâs never been more sure of anything else.Â
The two of you flinch when you hear the roar of the airplaneâs engine, indicating that itâs about to take off. Donghyuck clenches his jaw and pulls away, and you can see his entire body tense as he grips the armrest so hard that his knuckles turn white.Â
Ripping your eyes off of him, you reach under the seat for your backpack and fish out your AirPods with trembling fingers. Youâre still so shaken from earlier that you randomly select a playlist before handing one of the AirPods to Donghyuck. When he raises an eyebrow, you simply reply, âTo help you relax.âÂ
He wordlessly takes it and puts it in his ear, taking in the song. A few more seconds pass by before he, stifling a laugh, asks, âSo, your idea of relaxation is playing death metal at full volume?âÂ
You gasp, looking back down at your phone and realizing you had selected your road rage mix by accident. Too embarrassed to admit it, you reach over to take the AirPod out. âFine, be ungrateful then. Iâll listen by myself.â
Donghyuck tuts and leans his head away from your hand, nearly hitting it against the window. âExcuse me, I am trying to relax.â
âYouâre obnoxious.â
âCanât hear you over the sounds of my relaxation,â he says in a sing-song voice.Â
âWhatever,â you sigh, but youâre fighting a smile.
Throughout the flight, you occasionally sneak glances at Donghyuck, checking to see if heâs uncomfortable. Heâs always fast asleep, head leaning against the window and lips slightly parted. To your relief, he looks much more serene than he did at the start.Â
He still doesnât budge when the flight attendant comes around to hand out Biscoff cookies, and youâre tempted to steal his pack for yourself but decide against it. Instead, you begrudgingly put them in his lap. If you were anywhere else, you one-hundred percent would, but it doesnât feel right this time.Â
After scarfing down your cookies, you drift off yourself and donât wake up until a crackly announcement from the captain that your flight will be landing soon startles you awake. When you look over at Donghyuck, heâs still asleep. Shifting in your seat, you hear plastic crinkling in your lap, and you look down in confusion.Â
A pack of Biscoff cookies.Â
Taking a shaky deep breath, you lean back against your seat. The two-pack, cinnamon-flavored shortbread cookies sit in your lap like a ticking time bomb. You think about sharing an umbrella under the rain. You think about Donghyuckâs fear of flying. You think about how he thinks youâre brilliant. You think about these damn Biscoff cookies.Â
Suddenly, you wish you werenât sitting arm-to-arm with Donghyuck; you wish he was always a hallwayâs distance from you. Because that was the distance that you can think clearly when heâs around you. Because that was the distance beforeâÂ
Before.Â
Act III) Nonsense! You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress!
âSomehow, there was a misunderstanding and only a single room was booked for the both of you.â
Well, so much for distance.Â
Dr. Min looks like she wants to crawl in a hole. âI am so sorry, you guys. The hotel is used to each university only bringing one student, so they werenât expecting two. And the hotel is fully booked for the symposium, so they donât have an extra room.âÂ
You and Donghyuck exchange defeated glances, too exhausted from the flight (for many reasons) to even react.
âNone of the nearby hotels have any available either,â Dr. Min continues, âso, I canât believe I have to ask this of you guys, but would you mind sharing a room? The room also has a sofa pull-out bed, and maybe you guys can rock-paper-scissors for it.âÂ
This certainly throws a wrench in your Avoid Lee Donghyuck Like the Plague weekend plans, but Dr. Min looks so stressed that you really donât want to further complicate things for her. When you look over at Donghyuck (something that you had been explicitly trying not to do), heâs already looking at you, waiting for your answer.Â
âItâs fine,â you finally say, sighing, âWeâre all grown-ups, after all.âÂ
Dr. Min turns to Donghyuck, expectant. He just shrugs, replying, âIf Y/Nâs okay with it.âÂ
âGreat. Thank you guys so much!â Dr. Min exclaims, clapping her hands together before handing you the room key. âYou guys can take some time to get some rest and freshen up. Donât forget weâre going to have dinner with a few of my colleagues tonight too. Meet me here at 7:30 sharp.âÂ
The two of you say your goodbyes before trudging over to the elevator. You donât say anything to each other even as you enter your cramped room, equipped with a single queen-sized bed and a sofa pull-out couch that looks like it hasnât been cleaned since the 60s.Â
You and Donghyuck just stare in disbelief for a moment before he turns towards you and holds out a fist. âRock, paper, scissors?â
âHuh?âÂ
âRock, paper, scissors!â You donât even have time to react as Donghyuck starts counting down, lowering his fist on every word.Â
Without thinking, you pick scissors, only for him to pick rock.Â
âLooks like I get the bed,â he says smugly.Â
âYou ambushed me. Thatâs not fair,â you demand, crossing your arms.Â
âTwo out of three?â
âRockpaperscissors!â you blurt at the speed of light, trying to catch him off guard.Â
This time, he picks scissors while you pick paper.Â
âYou suck,â you snap, shoving his hand away and stomping towards the pull-out couch before dropping your bag on it. Donghyuckâs laugh rings throughout the room like a bell from behind you.Â
This feels more like beforeâwhen he pissed you off more than anything. Donghyuck from before was too nice, too soft. Itâs actually better that youâre sleeping on the musty pull-out couch; this is more of your dynamic with him. Before he shared his umbrella with you. Before he told you about his fear of flying. Before he called you brilliant. Before you nearly had a panic attack over some Biscoff cookies.
âIâm getting ready first,â you say petulantly.Â
âBe my guest,â he replies, raising his hands up like heâs surrendering, âTake as long as you need.âÂ
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?âÂ
âBecause of the double standard, of course. Women have to uphold a much higher beauty standard, and there is more societal pressure for them to feel like they have to dress upââÂ
âHoly performative male.â You roll your eyes. âDo you cry when you think about women getting their periods, too?âÂ
âOnly when Iâm drinking my matcha and reading Sylvia Plath.â He winks.Â
After grabbing a change of clothes and your skincare regimen, you promptly push past him and close the bathroom door in his face.Â
.
.
.
In the end, it does take you a while to get ready. Between doing your skincare, putting on a full face of makeup, and styling your hair, you made sure to put in extra effort since you could be potentially networking with Dr. Minâs colleagues. You even brought your best evening gown in anticipation.Â
When you finally emerge from the bathroom, Donghyuck is sitting on the bed with his laptop, furiously typing away. His eyes briefly glance up at the sound of the door opening and returns to the screen before he does a double take, eyes widening when he finally sees you.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you ask, nodding towards his laptop.Â
âOh.â He stops for a moment. âMy presentation notes. For the presentation. Tomorrow.âÂ
âWhat a vast vocabulary you have there, English major,â you tease, sitting on the edge of the bed so that you can slip your heels on. âAre you that nervous for tomorrow?âÂ
Donghyuck laughs, but itâs more like a breathless huff that he releases. âSomething like that.âÂ
âYouâre talking in riddles again. Whatever, just hurry up and get ready. We have to be down there in forty minutes,â you say after glancing at your phone.Â
Clearing his throat, he gives you a quick two-finger salute before closing his laptop and grabbing his stuff. He stiffly walks around you at an odd angle, as if you had an invisible force field around you, and keeps his eyes straight ahead.Â
While Donghyuck is getting ready, you scroll on TikTok, watching meditation videos and tutorials on breathing exercises in order to relax. You so badly want to make a good impression on Dr. Minâs colleagues (and, subsequently, on Dr. Min too) that youâre making yourself nauseous from imagining all the ways things could go wrong.Â
Youâre in the middle of a third attempt to completely clear your mind for a meditation exercise when Donghyuck steps out of the bathroom. Like the pain he is, he completely destroys any hope of a clear and sound mind as he walks over to you.Â
Donghyuck is wearing a navy blue dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his forearms and the top two buttons undone, tucked into a pair of black slacks. His hair is lightly gelled, and you hate how effortlessly handsome he is.Â
âWhat are you doing?â He asks, gesturing to your phone thatâs still playing a video of a woman sitting cross-legged and telling you to breathe in and out.Â
Hurriedly, you lock your phone and put it away in your purse. âNothing.âÂ
âWhy are you watching meditation videos? Nervous?âÂ
âWhy do you ask if you already know?â you retort.Â
âI enjoy the validation,â he replies smoothly, âSo, is that a yes?â
âYes, if you must know, I am nervous. Not all of us are natural-born ass-kissers, you know,â you hiss, âI need to get on their good side. Connections are everything in academia.âÂ
âAh, but you donât need meditation or ass-kissing to make a good impression. You forget the simplest method of all,â he points out.Â
âAnd that is?â
âBeing yourself,â he beams.Â
âThanks for the advice, Sesame Street. You think I wouldnât be doing that if it worked?â you ask wryly.Â
âHow would you know if youâve never tried it?â He crosses his arms.Â
You stand up, suddenly feeling slightly offended. âWhat are you implying?âÂ
âOh, I think you know.âÂ
âThat is so rich coming from you. Youâre the fakest of us all,â you snap, jabbing a finger in his chest.Â
âI never said it works for me.â Donghyuck smiles, tilting his head.Â
You pause, blinking as your hand falls limply to your side. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âDonât you know?âÂ
When you canât think of a response, he shrugs. âOr maybe you donât.âÂ
You watch him walk past you to get the room key from the nightstand, slipping it into his wallet, before grabbing your purse from the bed and handing it to you. âCome on, weâll be late for dinner.âÂ
And just like that, dinner is the last thing on your mind.Â
.
.
.
âItâs so surreal seeing you two in such fancy clothes. You guys look amazing!â Dr. Min gushes, as the three of you take your seats inside a fancy restaurant whose name you canât even pronounce. A salad from here probably costs a monthâs worth of rent. Luckily, youâre not paying.Â
âYou look stunning tonight as well, Dr. Min,â Donghyuck instantly responds, turning up his ass-kissing to 100.Â
You just sip on your glass of water, trying to distract yourself with a task by picking up and setting down your glass continuously. Eventually, a waiter comes by and dramatically refills your glass without you even asking. You murmur a quick thank you before going right back to your routine.Â
âOh, here they are!â Dr. Min stands up and waves to someone behind you, and you quickly set your water back down. You smooth out the bunched up dress in your lap and tuck your hair behind your ears. As Dr. Min ushers her colleagues over to your table, you feel Donghyuckâs warm hand gently on your knee, stilling your leg that you didnât even know you were furiously bouncing.Â
He doesnât say a word, only looking at you for a second before pulling away, standing up and plastering on a big grin to greet Dr. Minâs colleagues. Your leg burns like his fingerprints individually branded you.Â
Mind whirring, you shakily stand up and hope that your face is doing something similar to a smile.Â
âDonghyuck, Y/N, these are my colleagues. This is Dr. Collins and Dr. Gregory,â Dr. Min introduces, gesturing to two middle-aged men in suits who are both wearing glasses. Frankly, they look identical to you, but such is the case with the elites in academia.Â
You all say your greetings before sitting down, and thankfully, Dr. Min orders the food for you, rattling off fancy French dishes that you couldnât even begin to spell. She also orders a few bottles of super expensive wine, though you and Donghyuck choose to abstain. Despite your initial nerves, the dinner isnât as bad as you thought itâd be. The conversation flows naturally between everyone, and you even get a few laughs from Dr. Collins and Dr. Gregory, which gives you a slight confidence boost. It isnât until dinner is starting to wind down, and the professors are flushed and slightly slurring that Dr. Gregory turns towards you, saying, âYou know, Y/N, youâre such a pretty girl. If only you would smile a bit more. Youâd be a real stunner if you smiled more.âÂ
The pungent scent of wine on his breath wafts over to you as he continues, âDonât be so uptight, you know?âÂ
Your entire body freezes, and you suddenly feel sick to your stomach. This isnât exactly your first time dealing with creepy old men, but youâve never had to do so with creepy old men that could control your future in your career. Especially not with your mentorâs colleaguesâthe mentor that you revere and want so desperately to impress.
You feel your face burn with shame and humiliation, as you try to think of something to say that will diffuse the situation but also not offend Dr. Gregory. Dr. Min and Dr. Collins look uncomfortable as well, but they donât seem like they know what to do either.Â
âOh, lighten up! It was just a joke,â Dr. Gregory finally says after noticing the tense atmosphere, âYou young people never have a sense of humor.âÂ
âPray tell, what was the joke?â Donghyuck asks, his words dripping with a venomous sweetness. Heâs gripping the cloth napkin in his lap with such strength that you think he might rip it. Heâs seething with so much rage that you can feel it radiate from his body like heat waves. Youâre worried heâs about to jump across the table and attack Dr. Gregory, so you slowly reach under the table and place your hand on top of his.Â
Itâs not worth it, you want to tell him.Â
Without looking at you, Donghyuck releases the napkin and flips your hand with your palm facing upwards before lacing his fingers through yours, keeping your entwined fingers tucked into his lap. He holds your hand tightly but not enough to hurt. Just enough that you know heâs not going to let this slide.Â
âExplain the joke,â Donghyuck continues to press, âWhatâs so fucking funny?âÂ
Dr. Gregory just stares at him in a drunken daze, and Dr. Min hesitantly glances between the two, finally stammering, âN-Now, that language isnât appropriate, Donghyuck. However, Dr. Gregory needs to apologize to Y/N, too. Gosh, Dr. Gregory, you always get too drunk for your own good.âÂ
âYou know, Dr. Gregory,â Donghyuck starts, completely ignoring her, âyouâd be a real stunner if you went to an AA meeting instead of lurking around at research symposiums and sexually harassing female students.â
âHow dare you accuse me ofââ Dr. Gregory begins sputtering, face turning even redder.Â
âOh, lighten up! It was just a joke. What, you old perverts donât have a sense of humor?â Donghyuck raises his voice, so that the surrounding tables can hear him. He stands to his feet, taking you with him, before using his free hand to slam a glass of water in front of Dr. Gregory. He uses so much force that the glass clatters loudly against the wooden table, and water splashes all over the table and Dr. Gregoryâs lap.Â
âSober up, you piece of shit. Talk to her like that again, and Iâll make sure youâre drinking your fancy wine through a tube in your neck.âÂ
Donghyuck drags your chair out of the way, making sure to scrape the metal against the floor so that it makes a screeching noise, and leads you away from the table and out of the restaurant. Against your better judgment, you look back at the table. The three professors just sit there, shoulders slumped, looking smaller and smaller as you walk away. In the past, they stood tall like the highest peak of a mountain that you could never reach. Now, you canât help but think that they look soâŠpathetic.Â
Donghyuck doesnât speak to you as you make your way back to the hotel; he just holds your hand like youâll slip away if he doesnât. After a few minutes, he takes your intertwined fingers and puts them in his pants pocket. Heâs walking so fast that you start to stumble over the uneven pavement in your heels.Â
âWait, DonghyuckââÂ
You nearly trip, but he quickly turns around and catches you. His hands are on your waist, warm and firm, as he carefully steadies you.Â
âYou shouldnât have done that,â you say quietly.
Donghyuck takes in a deep breath, his hands linger around your waist as if he was the one being steadied. When he speaks, he unconsciously pulls you in a bit closer. âYeah, I shouldâve done a lot worse.âÂ
âCome on, youâre a grad student whoâs cooped up at home all day writing research papers. Youâre not exactly Mike Tyson,â you try to tease. Youâve never seen him this angry before.Â
âI could definitely kick his teeth in.â He looks a little too determined for your liking.Â
âAnd then get an assault charge?â You sigh. âIâm not paying your bail.âÂ
He seems to soften up a bit as he studies your face. His hands flinch at your sides, seemingly realizing that heâs cradling you against him, before he takes a step back. His palms drag against your dress as he lets go of your waist.Â
âAre you okay?â Donghyuck doesnât seem to know what to do with his hands, as he lifts them back up before putting them back down.Â
âOf course.â You give him a halfhearted smile. âNot exactly my first rodeo with this kind of stuff.â
You can see a muscle in his jaw spasm.Â
âIt was nice seeing you cuss him out though. Took the words right out of my mouth. But, you know, I would probably get called a bitch or something if I said it.â You shrug.Â
âIâm sorry.âÂ
âFor what? Misogyny?â You raise an eyebrow. âAre you on your performative male shit again?âÂ
âWell, anyone who knows me knows that I am a staunch feminist. An ally, if you will.â Donghyuck raises a fist in the air, and you roll your eyes, though you canât help the chuckle that escapes you. When you meet his gaze again, he hesitantly chews on his lip for a moment before continuing, âButâŠIâm also sorry that you had to listen to him speak to you like that. I wish there was something I could do that was more productive than kicking his teeth in.â
âHm,â you hum, tapping your chin, âI suppose I could forgive you if you ordered room service. Iâm starving. All that bougie French finger food Dr. Min ordered basically evaporated into thin air the moment I put it in my mouth.âÂ
You give him a mischievous grin, and the tension visibly leaves his body.Â
âDeal.â
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Thatâs how the two of you end up lounging on the bed together, a pepperoni pizza and chicken and waffles feast sprawled out in front of you. One of the television channels is playing a rerun of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, so you and Donghyuck keep your eyes glued to the screen like children with their iPads. Occasionally, one of you will comment on how much both of you hate Gale and kick your feet when Peeta says his iconic âif it werenât for the babyâ line.Â
Once the movie is over and the food is completely cleared out, you both flop onto your backs, feeling like stuffed turkeys with how much you ate. The two of you lay there in content silence for a second before you let out a sigh.Â
It was a lot easier to not think about anything when you had all these distractions, but now that the night is winding down, reality is setting in quickly.
âTomorrow is going to be so awkward,â you groan, covering your face with your hands. âDr. Min is probably pissed.âÂ
Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows. âSurely, you donât mean she would be pissed at us. Not when it was her creepy ass friendâs fault.âÂ
âWell, we certainly didnât act very professional either.âÂ
âY/N. Look at me, please.â You feel his hands gently swat yours away from your face.Â
Begrudgingly, you turn your head towards him. His face is a lot closer than youâre expecting, and your eyes wander as you start to count all of the moles on his smooth skin. Your gaze briefly flickers to his heart-shaped lips before hurriedly traveling back up to his eyes.Â
âYou are not the one who should be worried about tomorrow,â he states firmly, âDr. Min is the one in a position of authority. Itâs her job to protect you.âÂ
âI hope thatâs the case,â you mutter.Â
âIt is. She will.â He sounds so sure.Â
âWell, it doesnât matterââÂ
âIt does.âÂ
ââI just need to get through this presentation, and Iâll never have to see any of these people ever again.â Truthfully, you probably will since academia circles run small. Donghyuck knows that too.Â
âDo youââ He hesitates, scanning your face carefully. âAre you going to file a report against Dr. Gregory?âÂ
You laugh humorlessly. âWould anyone believe me?âÂ
âYou have three witnesses.â
âThat I would be asking to jeopardize their own careers for me,â you point out, âI know weâve had quite a spirited rivalry, but even I wouldnât try to sabotage you like this.âÂ
His expression is twisted into something you canât quite discern. âWhatââÂ
âIâm not going to file a report,â you state matter-of-factly, âItâs not worth it.âÂ
Donghyuck goes quiet, clearly trying to collect himself, before whispering hoarsely, âItâs your decision.âÂ
He stares at you for a very long time when you donât respond. Without even realizing it, the two of you had turned your bodies toward one another on the bed. Your legs are curled upwards, and if you wanted to, you could shift just slightly and bump his thighs. If you wanted to, you could reach out and brush the stray curl from his eyes.Â
âY/N.â He murmurs your name so softly that you almost donât hear him. In fact, the syllables blend together almost as if he were sleeptalking.Â
âYeah?â You hold your breath.Â
âWhatever happens tomorrow, whatever you decide to do, just know that Iâm on your side. Always.âÂ
You donât remember what you said back; you donât even remember what he looked like when he said it, no matter how desperately you try. You almost wonder if it was just a dream.Â
All you know is that you wake up wrapped in Lee Donghyuckâs arms the next morning. His bicep is under your neck while his hand is cradling the back of your head. His other arm is slung over your waist, fingers splayed across the small of your back. The hem of your evening gown has ridden up to your thighs, and your bare legs are tangled with his. Your cheek is tucked snugly into the crook of his neck, and every time he exhales, you feel his lips brush the crown of your head. He smells like faded cologne and warm skin.
Sunlight streams into your eyelids when you blearily blink, but youâre so distracted by the peaceful expression on Donghyuckâs face that you barely notice. Without even thinking, you brush the stray curl from his eyes. He slightly stirs at the movement before pulling you in closer, stilling once again after another second.Â
Against your better judgment, you lean forward, burrowing your face into his neck and feeling his skin against yours. As you listen to the sound of his breathing, it doesnât take you long to fall back asleep.Â
Act IV) But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.Â
When you wake up, youâre under the covers. Donghyuck is gone.Â
Except when you turn to the right, heâs curled up in a cramped fetal position on the pull-out couch with no blanket. His back is facing you, but you can see his shoulders steadily rise up and down.
Youâre more impressed by how deeply you were sleeping to not notice him tuck you under the covers and then set up the couch.Â
Shit, what if you drooled on him and thatâs why he moved?Â
Your hand frantically flies to the corner of your mouth, but itâs dry. Almost cracked. Then you realize that you slept in your makeup, and your skin is probably gasping for any sort of hydration.Â
Swinging your feet over the side of the bed, you tip-toe your way to the bathroom. Carefully shutting the door behind you, you quickly begin your morning routine of brushing your teeth, washing your face, and taking the hottest shower you can handle. You stand still, letting the scorching water run down your body, as you recall the events from the night before. In the end, not even the scalding temperature can burn away the feeling of being enveloped in Donghyuckâs arms.Â
Furiously scrubbing your face, you wish you had just gotten up and moved to the pull-out couch when you woke up the first time. Instead of cuddling Donghyuck like a psycho. He probably felt you clinging to him like a koala and promptly escaped, even though you were the one who lost rock-paper-scissors.Â
Better yet, you wish you had never come here in the first place. Maybe then your professional andâŠpersonal lives wouldnât be in complete shambles.Â
Eventually, the water starts to run cold, and you have no choice but to step out into the steam-filled bathroom. Your phone chimes on the corner of the sink, and you reach over to check itâÂ
Your heart is nearly regurgitated out of your mouth.Â
Itâs a text from Dr. Min inviting you to breakfast. Just you and her.Â
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âThank you for agreeing to meet with me privately.â Dr. Min is nervously wringing her hands as you awkwardly push around the omelette in front of you.Â
Honestly, you had contemplated waking Donghyuck up and dragging him down with you, but then you came to your senses. Youâre not sure when the switch happened that heâs the first person you turn to for help, and it freaks you out exponentially. Especially when just 48 hours ago, you wouldâve rather hacked off your arm than ask him for anything.Â
Besides, this is nothing you canât handle. Youâre pretty sure.
âNo problem.â You try your best to look cool and composed.Â
âI wanted to apologize for Dr. Gregoryâs behavior last night. He got way too drunk, and it was completely unacceptable. He also wants to extend his sincerest apologies. I will make sure this never happens again.â
Youâre not sure what to say in response. Sheâs waiting for you expectantly, almost as if she wants you to exonerate her from her guilt. Normally, you would rush to tell her that everything is okay and itâs all in the past now. But the expression on her face reminds you too much of last night, of how small she seemed.Â
âOkay.â You nod stiffly. âI appreciate you letting me know.âÂ
Thereâs an awkward, drawn out pause between the two of you before Dr. Min clears her throat. âOkay. Good.âÂ
You start getting up to leave, but you hear a shrill, âWait!âÂ
In all your years of knowing her, youâve never seen Dr. Min look this nervous before. She can barely even maintain eye contact with you as she fidgets with her sleeve. âI, um, need to talk to you about something else. About the symposium.âÂ
So much has happened that youâve barely even thought about the symposium. It almost relieves you to hear about something so normal, considering howâŠnot normal everything has been.Â
That is, until she says her next words:
âThereâs been a bit of a mix-up. Initially, they were planning on having a keynote speaker. However, the speaker ended up canceling, so the schedule was made without his inclusion. The problem now is that the speaker informed us last-minute that heâll be able to make it after all. So, Iâve been asked by the organizers to cut one of my students from the program, since I was the only one who brought two.âÂ
You shakily inhale when it dawns on you that this is the real reason she called you down here. That it was always going to be you. The truth of being inferior feels like someone just knocked the wind out of you. Youâre struggling to breathe properly, but you will yourself to maintain your composure; youâll be damned if you have a panic attack in front of Dr. Min.Â
But all that goes through your head is not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.
âItâs not because your paper isnât up to par,â she quickly insists, âin fact, your paper was brilliantââÂ
She couldnât have picked a shittier adjective. That word is another gut punch.Â
ââitâs just that Donghyuck is more of what theyâre looking for. What theyâre expecting.âÂ
That makes you pause. âWhat?â
âThe judges have theirâŠbiases. Theyâre much more inclined to respond to him,â Dr. Min responds vaguely, almost as if sheâs too afraid to say what she really means aloud.Â
âBecause Donghyuck is a man?âÂ
âTrust me, as a woman, I understand. Itâs ridiculous that academia is still such a deeply patriarchal system. Iâm just trying to play by their rules. If Donghyuck gets the Best Research Paper award, itâll look really good for the university,â she explains as if itâll all make sense to you now.Â
âSo, you acknowledge how academia has fostered an incredibly sexist environment, yet you want to continue upholding that culture?â you ask incredulously, âOr is it because youâve, against all odds, already succeeded in this environment so you donât want to upset the status quo? Youâre willing to close the door behind you if it means that you can retain your position?âÂ
âI have always championed for more female scholars in our field, Y/N. This is different. Itâs beyond that,â she answers defensively.Â
âBecause your reputation is on the line?âÂ
Dr. Min purses her lips. âI am doing what is best for our school. I hope youâll understand that some day. Iâm sure Donghyuck will as well.âÂ
âWeâll see about that.â You clench your jaw.Â
âDonât further complicate things,â she warns, clearly perceiving your words as a threat, âI really am sorry that this happened. I know this would have been a wonderful addition to your CV and your application to the PhD program. I promise I will write you that letter of recommendation if things go smoothly today.âÂ
You actually laugh at her, a hysterical shriek bubbling in your throat. âYou were my hero, you know.âÂ
Without waiting for her response, you get up from your seat and walk away, never once turning around to look back at her. Youâre not sure how you gathered up the strength to return to your room without collapsing once, but you swear youâre going to faint when Donghyuck peeks his head out of the bathroom when he hears you come in. He has a running blowdryer in one hand and a round brush in the other. He looks so happy to see you that you feel nauseous.Â
âHey! I was wondering where you went. For a moment, I thought my snoring scared you offâwhatâs wrong?â In an instant, heâs set everything down and is making his way over to you.Â
You sidestep him before dragging your numb body to the edge of the bed, sitting down with your back turned against him. Squeezing your burning eyes shut, you try to remember the breathing exercises you had been watching the day before.Â
âAre you sick?â You hear Donghyuckâs soothing voice in front of you, but you donât dare look at him. âDo you need anything?âÂ
You shake your head, feeling a sob rack your body.Â
âPlease tell me whatâs wrong. What can I do? Tell me what to do, Y/N.â He sounds so scared that you know you wonât be able to tell him the truth. Youâre not cruel enough to make him throw away this opportunity for you.
âNothing,â you finally manage to get out. When you open your eyes, heâs kneeling in front of you, desperately scanning your face. What a sight heâs probably getting with all the tears and snot. âIâm not presenting today. There was a scheduling issue, and they had to cut someone from the program.âÂ
âWhat? Why would they cut someone when itâs their own fault? And why you?âÂ
You shrug halfheartedly. âDr. Min didnât tell me. Maybe my paper was just not as good as yours.âÂ
âNo,â he responds immediately, âthatâs impossible. There had to have been another reason. If anything, Dr. Min should have cut me. I was the one who acted out of line.â
You smile bitterly. âWhen you do it, youâre a badass. When I do it, Iâm a bitch.âÂ
It was a sentiment you had echoed last night, but you had no idea just how ironic those words would turn out.Â
âThen take my place.â Donghyuck says it like itâs the simplest solution in the world.Â
âWhat, no,â you say in bewilderment, âDr. Min has made it clear that she wants you to present. Besides, your name is on the program.âÂ
âFine. I wonât present either.â He crosses his arms and looks away like a child throwing a tantrum.
âAre you insane? Whatâs the point of all this if neither of us presents?â you demand.Â
âIâm not going to do it if youâre not.âÂ
âDonât you want the recommendation letter from Dr. Min?â
He stares at you in disbelief. âYou think I care about that?âÂ
âIn case you forgot, youâre the one who suggested the competitionââÂ
âY/N, that was beforeââ he pauses, wetting his lips, âbefore this.âÂ
Neither of you seem to know what this is.Â
âIt hasnât been a competition to me for a while now. The letter, the award, this whole symposium, none of that matters to me. I just care about you.â Donghyuckâs voice breaks slightly. âThe only thing I want is you.â
âBut you hate me. WeâreâŠsworn enemies.â Your voice is barely a whisper.Â
That gets a chuckle out of him. âMaybe, initially. Maybe I didnât like how much smarter you were than me. Maybe I didnât enjoy the way you would always rip me a new one during class discussions. Butâno matter how much I fought it, I started looking for you in every room I stepped into and only cared about what you had to say. I told myself a million different reasons for why I was acting the way I was. I thought whatever was forming was loathing, that you were just someone that I needed to prove I was better than. I convinced myself that I needed to tease and annoy you in any possible way because it was a tactic to gain the upperhand. When in reality, I was just doing whatever I could to get your attention. I suggested the competition because I would finally stop thinking about you if we settled our rivalry once and for all. But, Y/Nââ
Donghyuck gently reaches up and cups your cheek with his hand, running his thumb along your cheekbone. You subconsciously lean into his touch, eyes fluttering.Â
âY/N, the award has always been yours. Youâve won from the very start, and I never stood a chance. Iâm not doing this without you.âÂ
The boy youâve spent your entire college career trying to outshine looks at you like youâre his North Star.Â
Your fingers slide up his forearm before gently closing around his wrist, cradling his hand against your face. Tilting your head downwards so that youâre level with his kneeling position, you place your forehead against his. Donghyuck lets out a soft gasp like you just sent an electric shock through his body.Â
âYou have to do it. Something good has to come out of this shitshow,â you insist firmly.
He tries to pull away to protest. âNoââÂ
âYou said youâd be on my side.â
He looks at you like youâve physically hurt him. Â
âOkay.â He finally relents, slumping his shoulders. âOkay, Iâll do it.âÂ
You surge forward, wrapping your arms around him. Donghyuck catches you like itâs the most natural thing in the world, burying his face in your neck and holding you like he exists only to do so. He holds you so lovingly that you almost break and tell him the truth.Â
But you donât.Â
Instead, you let him go and tell him to hurry up and get ready. You donât miss the way his gaze lingers on you even as he walks away.Â
When the two of you finally make your way down to the conference room where the symposium is being held, Dr. Min is already waiting. You slightly flinch when you see her, and to your dismay, Donghyuck seems to notice. He gives you a quizzical glance before looking at Dr. Min, gauging her facial expression. Dr. Min, on the other hand, pretends like nothing happened, and it scares you how good she is at it.Â
âThere you guys are! Come on, Donghyuck is up first.â She ushers you both behind a makeshift stage that theyâve set up. âOkay, make sure to take a few deep breaths. Donât bury your nose in your notes. Make sure to make eye contact with the audience.âÂ
Donghyuck isnât paying attention to her whatsoever. Instead, heâs peering around the stage, clearly up to something. You donât even have time to ask him what heâs planning before the announcer calls his name.Â
Suddenly, Donghyuck doubles over, clutching his stomach in pain. âOwww!âÂ
He drags the last syllable, getting progressively louder the longer he holds the word. Both you and Dr. Min slightly jump at the volume of his voice.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â she asks frantically.Â
âOh, my stomach is killing me,â he moans dramatically, âI think it might be the shitty French food we ate last night. Oh, Iâm going to throw up.âÂ
He makes dry heaving noises, and Dr. Min takes a step back. âUm, okay. Letâs get you to a bathroom.âÂ
âWhat about the presentation?â he asks in between vomiting sounds.Â
âYou canât present if youâre sick. WeâllââÂ
âOh, I have a wonderful idea.â He claps his hands together. âHow about Y/N presents in my place?âÂ
You shouldâve known Donghyuck would have something up his sleeve.Â
âAnd look! A copy of Y/Nâs paper magically showed up, so sheâs all set! Wow, Shakespeare must be in the building with us on this beautiful afternoon.â He whips out the folded pieces of paper in his back pocket that you had thought was his paper. When he notices your death glare, he places the back of his hand on his forehead. âOh, I feel so sickâŠâÂ
âLee Donghyuck, Iâm going to killââÂ
âWe donât have time for this,â Dr. Min snaps, snatching the paper from Donghyuck and shoving it into your arms. âI donât know how you two planned this, but Iâll deal with you afterwards. Just go and present.âÂ
âBut Iââ
Dr. Min grabs your shoulders and essentially manhandles you onto the stage. You stumble out in front of a giant crowd full of confused scholars who definitely just heard all the ruckus Donghyuck made. Awkwardly shuffling over to the podium, you clear your throat into the mic by accident, causing a piercing feedback noise.Â
âOh, uh, sorry about that. Iâm not Lee Donghyuck. He hadâŠother issues to deal with. My name is Y/N, and Iâm here to present onââ
You pause for a moment when you look down at your paper. Written in red ink are loopy, sprawling letters at the top of the page that read:Â
You are the badass.Â
Looking back up at the expectant crowd, you take the pages of your paper and rip them in half, the sounds of paper tearing echoing throughout the room.
âI originally planned on presenting about female empowerment in the 1999 film 10 Things I Hate About You compared to the source material, The Taming of the Shrew. However, I cannot, in good faith, speak on this topic without first recounting my own experiences this past weekend. Isnât it a Shakespearean twist that all we do is sit around and discuss political and sociological issues being acknowledged in works of literature yet we canât recognize those same problems in our own field? I hope my words force us to acknowledge our own internalized biases.âÂ
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In the end, you donât receive the Best Research Paper award.Â
In fact, security escorts you out of the conference room shortly after you finish speaking.Â
Youâre not sure what the repercussions of what you just did are going to be, but you canât find it in you to care. When youâre deposited in the hotel lobby, Donghyuck is already waiting for you.Â
âHowâs your stomach?â you ask sarcastically.Â
He just shakes his head and chuckles incredulously. âYou always find a way to one-up me.âÂ
âSo, youâre admitting defeat?â You close the distance between the two of you, stepping so close that your chests nearly touch.Â
Donghyuck swallows, Adamâs apple bobbing. âY/N, Iââ
You throw your arms around his neck and bring him down to press your lips against his. He snakes an arm around your waist and lifts you up, pulling you tightly against him. He kisses you like heâs on his dying breath, and he holds you like youâre everything he ever dreamed of. For the first time in your life, you know you are.Â
âComplete and utter defeat,â he whispers against your lips.Â
Academic validation and beating Lee Donghyuck are your only motivations in life. You end up achieving only one of the two.
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It isnât until when you get back from the symposium the next week that you discover multiple sexual harassment claims were filed against Dr. Gregory after your speech and he was fired by the university. Additionally, Dr. Min was put on administrative leave for allegations of discrimination and abuse of power. She apparently is also being investigated separately by the organizers of the symposium for attempted bribery of the judges by not disclosing the fact that she habitually took them to dinner (who were actually Dr. Collins and Dr. Gregory).Â
âNow, thatâs some Shakespearean karma.â Donghyuck winks when he shows you the news article.Â
âI guess weâre not getting those recommendation letters.â You sigh.Â
He throws his head back and laughs.Â
Lacing your fingers through his, you lean your head against his shoulder as the two of you walk down the sidewalkâthe sounds of the rain growing heavier against your shared umbrella and cars speeding by serving as your only background noise.













