udon

01’s | she writes so she can breath

[chogiwaw]

The Double Life of My Dad - Choi Seungcheol

pairing: idol/actor!choi seungcheol x f!reader tags: drinking, suggestive, drama-too much drama, smut (MDNI), seungcheol has daughter (OC), mention of OC as his co-stars, teasing, a brief p in v moment, mention of insecurities, cursing and harsh word.

synopsis: seungcheol's face was all over the world. walking around the city? his face was almost in every billboard. turning on the tv? he was probably in one of drama that played in some big TV station. going to the cinema? his recent movie probably was being played there. music apps? his solo or his group music topping the songs chart. but when the director yells cut, the camera stops rolling and the lights turn off, he's just a simple 35 years old man who can't wait to go home to be with his wife and daughter. wc: 19.9k warning: 95% not proofread and my grammar sucks

a/n: my first ever collab fic is officially a wrap! really thankful for luna @belovedgyu, rae @nerdycheol, and izzy @jakedustry for accommodating this collab. this collab means everything to me, i learn a lot in here, met new lovely friends, sharing ideas, talking about a to z, i love you guys so much. to my lovelies @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @caratchronicles, @livmarauder, @cxffecoupx, @cherrymayz, @pomegranate-teardrop, @mellowgyu, @gentleisa, @hopecutie, @luvrung, @choco-scoups thank you for not giving up and finishing this collab gracefully. can't wait to read all of your amazing work! honorable mention: i am so thankful and grateful for luna @belovedgyu for proofread and check my (shit) grammar for that specific part that stressing me out. to my sprint buddies, thank you for sprinting with me. to everyone who joined this collab, i love you guys so so much and really thankful for each one of you.

banner: this magical, beautiful, and out of this world banner by the one and only @livmarauder

BLOCKBUSTER COLLAB MASTER LIST

"AND CUT!" The director yells and everyone is clapping. Seungcheol who is kneeling on the ground with his eyes full of tears is getting help from the actress he played with to stand up. Everyone is clapping because the shoot for the new drama is finally wrapped beautifully.

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK EVERYONE!" Seungcheol shouts. 

He is thanking everyone who has worked hard to make the shooting process easier for him. He is thanking his co-star Ahn Sumi, the newcomer who just made her breakthrough from her past drama. He takes photos with his co-stars and the staff while holding a bouquet of flowers from the staff as a congratulatory gesture. 

One by one, each light turns off and so does his life as an actor. He is no longer Seungcheol the top actor or S.Coups—a famous singer in the music industry. He is back to his ordinary life as Choi Seungcheol. Thirty five years old Choi Seungcheol who loves to take a long hot bath, drink a can of beer before sleeping while watching whatever his youtube home page is showing, and of course, talking with you about his day or listening to every rant you need to vent, especially about your endless work. Most importantly, he loves to play with the love of his life, his two years old daughter.

Seungcheol might appear as a single man who from time to time is involved in gossip for a dating scandal which he denied every time. He always put a high barrier every time he acted in romance movies or dramas with his co-stars. He always considers them as a good friend or as work colleagues at least. He likes to keep his work life professional, so falling in love with his co-star is out of the question, because you are the only one he could ever think off.

Seungcheol met you by the river eight years ago, he was twenty seven years old at that time. 

It was midnight when Seungcheol decided to go for a run at the jogging track by the river. He had just finished his schedule that day. It was a long and tiring day. He and his group needed to record their performance at five in the morning, then went to shoot for a show he can't even remember the name of, then proceed to practice for tomorrow's shows. It was really tiring but that night Seungcheol really needed to let it all out, he really needed to let go of the burden he had on his shoulder. 

He missed living a normal life as a guy in his twenties, so he ran that night by himself. He was feeling himself. Seungcheol was running so hard until he was out of breath. He rested both hands on his knee, his chest was heaving because he ran too fast but a smile grew on his sweaty face. 

He plopped himself to the grass, removed one of the heads of a wired earphone from his ears. He heard someone crying, bawling even, and he saw you there. You were very close to the river and Seungcheol's instinct was running towards you, because he thought you were going to do something he can't even imagine.

"Don't!" You stopped mid crying. Looking down at your wrist that gets held by someone. You dragged your eyes slowly from your wrist until you met Seungcheol eyes. Your eyes widened and you pushed him hard until he stumbled to the back. 

"Just don't do it! There are many things to do in your life!" This time, Seungcheol was shaking your body while holding you on your shoulder. Like he was trying to get your senses back. 

"I'm not gonna do anything!" You removed his hands on your shoulders. 

"Pervert!" You half shouted. 

Seungcheol's eyes might have popped out at that moment, he was trying to help you— he didn't want anything bad to happen to you but he got called a pervert instead.

"I'm trying to help! I'm not a pervert!" Seungcheol lowered his mask, trying to make you realize that he was indeed not a pervert.

That night, you didn't realize that he was someone famous until the next morning you saw his face when you were on your way to work. Your jaw was on the floor when you realized who you called as a pervert that night.

Days after, you were back sitting by the river. This time you were not crying, but you were lying down on the grass. Listening to songs on your playlist, until you found someone sitting beside you. Seungcheol was the one who sat beside you. This time you didn't scream or accuse him as a pervert, you stayed there in silence with him.

"Is it hard to be an idol?" Was the first thing you asked him. You didn't even bother to ask his name, because you see how tired he was. He looked as tired as you.

"It is but I love my job," He answered.

"Then what's with the long face?" You asked again. 

"I feel lonely." 

Seungcheol never asked your name and you never asked his name— one, because you knew his name already, his name was plastered everywhere, almost every billboard you passed by, had his face and name on it. 

The frequency of you meeting with him by the river was never planned, almost every Thursday night you met him there. There were times where you didn't meet him at all but you stayed there a little bit longer than usual, in case he was coming late. 

You were sitting by yourself that night and you saw him run towards your direction, still with fancy clothes. You had not met him for more than a month, so seeing him run towards you was quite a surprise. He was panting and trying to catch a breath before he took a seat beside you, handing you his phone.

"Can I have your number?" He asked, half panting. 

You stared at his phone before looking him in the eyes.

"You asked for my number first but you never asked for my name," You joked. 

He scratched the back of his ears, feeling embarrassed. 

"That was not so gentleman of me right?" He offered his right hand to you.

"Let me introduce myself, my name is Choi Seungcheol and perhaps, may I know your name miss?" You laughed before accepting his hand and shook it. You introduced your name to him.

"And yes, I already know your name."

After that night, everything about you and him changed slowly but surely. It all started with your little meet up place by the river at midnight to late night eating at the nearest convenience store, then to meet him at a private room at a restaurant to have a decent dinner. Until the two of you went to each other's house to spend more time privately. Your little apartment was probably not even a quarter of his penthouse but he really loved your little space. He loved your apartment more than he loved his big fancy penthouse.

The night where he asked you to marry him was a quiet night, you were sitting next to each other in front of the TV, watching his first ever drama where he was the main lead. Your head was resting on his shoulder— your favorite place to lean on, before he suddenly got up from his seat, leaving you on your own to the bathroom. He was inside the bathroom for more than fifteen minutes and he left his phone. You decided to check on him. 

"Cheol? Is everything okay?" You knocked on the door and he didn't answer.

"Cheol?" You knocked impatiently. You were afraid that he passed out in the bathroom because his schedule was too hectic. You let out a sigh of relief when you heard the door getting unlocked, you also pushed the door and were welcomed by Seungcheol who was grinning.

"You scared me!" You hit his chest lightly but he caught your wrist.

He kneeled suddenly, hand reached the back of his shorts, pulling out a small blue turquoise-ish box. You knew that box very well.

"Cheol?" You called him softly.

"Love," He called you,eyes were getting watery.

"Will you spend the rest of your life with me?" His hands were trembling but his voice was firm. 

You dropped your knees to the ground and said “Yes, I will.” 

You hugged him tight like your life depends on it. He was crying when he slipped the ring on your finger.

About six months after the proposal, the two of you registered for the wedding. Seungcheol asked his two best friends as the witness. Jeonghan— Seungcheol's best friend and Seungkwan— Seungcheol's manager slash best friend. After the two of you registered the wedding, there was no reception, just a simple dinner with the witnesses..

You knew very well what you got yourself into, living as the wife of a famous celebrity, but you knew it was worth it because you did it with him. With Seungcheol. 

"Cheol, wake up." You poke Seungcheol's dimple. The man is sleeping peacefully in your queen size bed.

"Hmm?" Seungcheol tosses and turns on your bed. You giggle after successfully waking him up. You put your daughter beside him and Seungcheol acts like he is unaware of his baby on his side.

"Daddy…" Your daughter calls her father. 

Seungcheol giggles when his daughter pokes his dimple, following what you just did seconds ago. 

"Do you miss me, my lovely daughter?" Even though Seungcheol hasn’t opened his eyes, his hands wrap around his daughter perfectly. Seungcheol snuggles to his daughter, earning a giggle from his daughter.

"Shall we invite mama too?" Seungcheol asks his daughter and your heart warms up seeing them being cuddly with each other.

"Mama, come hereeee." Seungcheol imitates your daughter's voice. The bed deepens when you join them, Seungcheol is in the middle, you are on his right and your daughter is on top of him.  His hands wrap around the love of his life tightly. 

This is the morning he always wanted. 

"It feels nice to spend my morning like this." He whispers to your ear before kissing your temple lovingly.

"I know right? But it would be nice if you let me go and drive me to work like right now." Seungcheol groans and whines to his daughter who doesn’t understand a single thing his father says.

"And you need to drop her off at the day care," You add. 

"So I'm all alone?" Seungcheol asks and you nod. 

“Why don’t you take your paid leave and stay with me here– we can do all sorts of things together.” He groans. 

"Well, you can enjoy your rest day without anyone bothering you." You peck his lips quickly.

"And maybe– I have a surprise for you tonight." You throw a seductive wink at him and a grin grows on his face. 

He knows what you mean by a surprise. So, Seungcheol picks his daughter up with his morning hair that looks like he gets hit by a typhoon. It is a mess but you love seeing him like this in the morning. He looks natural. He looks just like an ordinary person, just like you.

"Mama have a surprise for daddy tonight, baby" Seungcheol talks to your daughter all giggling and she giggles with him. 

Seungcheol is driving you to work and it is his routine every time he has a day off or when his schedule starts at noon. He drives you to work with your car to make it less suspicious. He is busy taking care of his daughter, settling her in her car seat. He always makes sure that her seat is safe. Then Seungcheol proceeds to carry your daughter's bags and arranges them on the trunk.

"Honey, before I forget again– Jeonghan asked us to have dinner in his house this Saturday. Do you want to?"

"What's the occasion? it's not his birthday yet."

"He missed our daughter."

"Then he can baby sit her and we can have our long forgotten date night." You joke. 

Jeonghan loves your daughter so much, he will spoil her to death, but baby sitting your daughter? Jeonghan probably will join her for a tantrum session.

Jeonghan was a big shot investor in the filming industry. The Yoon family company basically invested in almost every successful movie in the country. Jeonghan met Seungcheol years ago when Seungcheol just started to play in a TV drama as a cameo. Jeonghan saw his potential and told the PD if he ever thought of casting Seungcheol again, he would gladly invest in their drama.

Jeonghan welcomed you when Seungcheol introduced you to him. Your personality and Jeonghan's clicked right away, and you didn't have any hard time to befriended with him. Same goes as Seungkwan, Seungcheol's manager. Seungkwan was putting his guard up so high when Seungcheol introduced the two of you and eventually put his guard down when he started to spend time with you

"Remember, pick her up at 5." You remind Seungcheol while gathering your work bag and laptop bag.

"Yes, honey!” He salutes at you that makes you chuckle at his silliness. You lean in for a quick kiss before looking at the back seat. 

"See you later, my lovely daughter.” You send a flying kiss to your daughter and she sends you a flying kiss too. 

Seungcheol drives away after you get off from the car. Along the way to your daughter day care, Seungcheol keeps talking to his daughter about everything he loves every time he has a day off. Driving you to work and his daughter to day care, picking you up from work and his daughter from day care, doing absolutely nothing in house means he has the chance to do the house chores the way he likes it— he just loves his day off so much because it gives him the feeling of a father who is busy with his family. 

"Here we are my lovely daughter, daddy will pick you up at five sharp!" He gets ready before getting out of the car. Seungcheol puts on his hoodie, his mask, and his sunglasses. He checks himself in the rear mirror for a second before getting out of the car. He unlocks the car seat, hold his daughter gently in his arms before opening the trunk to take out his daughter's bag.

"Oh? Mr. Choi? It's been so long." Mrs. Jang, the owner of the daycare greets Seungcheol.

"Good morning Mrs. Jang. I just got back from a business trip." He lies. 

"Sena, do you miss your dad?" Mrs. Jang asks Sena and she nods.

"Oh? Does my lovely daughter miss me so much? We will play together with mom later. Daddy will pick you up at five sharp today." Seungcheol puts his daughter down and she runs straight inside without saying goodbye to Seungcheol, earning a laugh from Seungcheol and Mrs. Jang.

"Mrs. Jang, please take care of our Sena today." Seungcheol bows before handing his daughter's bag.

"Yes, like wise Mr. Choi." Seungcheol waves at Sena who doesn’t even look back before heading to his car.

Seungcheol is back at his penthouse. Your car that he used earlier is now parked on an assigned parking spot and he changes to his own car. He does it to prevent getting caught by paparazzi that he rides in someone else's car. He checks his messages and Seungkwan only texted him to let him know that he is scheduled for a photo shoot tomorrow morning. 

Seungcheol starts his car and drives to his gym to meet his gym buddy slash his group mates, Wonwoo. 

Seungcheol is also a leader of a four member boy group; the group has been on hiatus since two years ago. The group consists of Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Hansol. Only Seungcheol and Hansol had a stage name, their stage name was S.Coups and Vernon. It's been so long since he met with the others, because their individual schedules are too packed and it’s making it hard to meet with each other. 

"Whats your menu for today?" Wonwoo asks.

"Leg day and you seem so eager to make your shoulder more broad." The younger guy scoffs at Seungcheol. 

"Are you still dating your girlfriend?" Wonwoo suddenly asks. 

"Suddenly? Why? And yeah we're still going strong now." Seungcheol answers. Technically he is not lying, because it is true that his relationship with you is still going strong– he just lies about the status. You are no longer his girlfriend, your status already got upgraded five years ago as his lawfully wedded wife. 

"Well, you know, I've been thinking about dating too but I'm afraid that because of me, she will get backlash." 

Seungcheol pulls the stops at the leg press machine. 

"Is she in the same industry?" Seungcheol asks. 

"No, she's an ordinary person. She's a lawyer." 

Seungcheol's grins grow wider because of Wonwoo love story that is way more interesting than the leg press machine.

It is almost lunch time when Seungcheol finishes his workout session. He has already finished taking a shower when he sees your messages. You ask him if he wants to grab lunch with you and of course Seungcheol agrees immediately without hesitation even though there is always a chance of getting caught by paparazzi. 

Seungcheol arrives at your office building and you are running to his car when you see his fancy car at the entrance. He is smiling from ear to ear when you run towards his car.

"I miss you so much." He pulls you into a hug right after you settle inside his car. 

"What do you want to eat for lunch?" You ask him.

"Oh? I thought you already brought one." He answers naturally because most of the time you already have the lunch ready, then the two of you will eat inside the car in the basement.  

"Should we eat out?" You suggest.

"Or is it too risky?" You change your mind because you are afraid to get caught in broad daylight by paparazzi. 

"No, let's eat out. What do you want to eat?"

Seungcheol always wanted to have a normal date like other couples. Having lunch or dinner outside, going to a viral restaurant or lining up to try a viral cafe with his loved ones, but he never did it before. He wants to act like a normal couple for once with you without the fear of getting caught by paparazzi. 

"Pork cutlet?" You suggest. 

"Nice choice!” He pinches your cheek gently. 

The pork cutlet place is not crowded even though it’s lunch time. You walk side by side with him, he is back on his ninja mode—that's how you like to call it. Nobody suspects anything, because it's really normal in your country to dress like that. You pick the furthest table that was blocked by a wall in case someone notices Seungcheol. 

You put orders for the two of you then when the worker finished taking your orders, Seungcheol lowered down his mask and took off his beanie. You hold his hands because you miss him so much and it's been so long since you eat out with him. .

"How was your work?" He asks. 

"Stresful as usual but I have more energy today because I can’t wait to go home and play with Sena and you!" You answer excitedly that makes him smile. 

Not long after the two of you are chatting, the food comes. The two of you dig in immediately while talking about this and that. When the two of you finish your food, you make your way to the cashier to pay while Seungcheol is waiting in front of the door, he is back in his ninja mode. You make your way to Seungcheol but stop at your track when you notice a group of teenage girls whispering to each other while pointing at Seungcheol. You know, Seungcheol's cover is busted. So you do what you need to do, you text him and tell him to go first without you.

Seungcheol looks back at you and you assure him with a nod before he walks away to his parked car. The group of teenage girls approach him, asking him a few questions and hands him anything for him to sign. He answers their questions happily and gives them a sign, before getting into his car and driving away.

You are watching their interaction before exhaling sharply and you are left alone, again.

Seungcheol pulls his car to the side. He calls you but you don’t pick up. He is afraid you will get caught or harassed by the paparazzi. As he almost starts to drive again, you call him back. You are in a taxi on the way back to your office. Seungcheol keeps saying sorry to you and leaves you all by yourself there but you assure him that it is fine and you know the consequences when eating out with him. Seungcheol feels a pang of guilt in his chest, bringing back the feeling that he already buries inside his heart and it starts to creep up. 

Seungcheol has been thinking about early retirement from the industry, not fully retired, just stopping appearing on the big screen. He will continue to produce and write music, but he cannot continue living his life like this for the rest of his life. He can't enjoy going to the amusement park with his little family. Accompanying you to the hospital for Sena’s check up or vaccination or going to your company end year dinner. He wants to have a normal life. He wants his family to live a normal life, like every other family.

It's 4.30pm and Seungcheol rushes to pick Sena up from day care. He thinks that it will be better to pick you up after office too. He arrives right at 5pm and all the other parents are already waiting for their baby to come out from the day care. He is waiting patiently until Sena's name gets called.

"Hello? Are you Sena's father?" A lady in his mid-thirties come up to Seungcheol.

"Ah? Yes, I'm Sena's father." Seungcheol bows.

"Finally I met you because every time I pick my son, I only meet with your wife, I'm Chan's mother." She introduces herself.

"Choi Sena is here!" Seungcheol's eyes light up when he hears his daughter's name.

"Here!" He waves his hands towards Sena. Making the little girl run to her dad with her little feet and falling right into Seungcheol arms.

"My baby, are you having fun? hmm?" Sena giggles.

"Thank you miss, see you tomorrow." He holds Sena's small hand and Seungcheol also bid his goodbye to Chan's mother.

"So you have a friend named Chan? He must be a boy right? He must like my Sena." Seungcheol talks to Sena.

"Daddy, mama?"

"Yes baby, let's go pick your mother up." He kisses Sena's cheek.

Tonight, the three of you are spending the night at Seungcheol's penthouse. You are taking a long relaxing bath after Sena successfully falls asleep in Seungcheol’s arms. It feels nice to let your body sink in a warm bath after a long day and you have zero worries about your baby because you are not alone tonight. 

You are relaxing in the bathtub, humming and singing along to the songs on the playlist you play for yourself until the bathroom door cracked open. Seungcheol with a smirk appears behind the bathroom door with a glass of wine in his right hand and a baby monitor in his left hand.

"Thank you," You sit straight up and take the wine glass off your husband’s hand and give your husband a sweet loving kiss on the lips.

"Are you going to join me or just stand there and stare at me?" You ask because Seungcheol couldn’t keep his eyes off you, he is staring at your face and your boobs alternately. 

"I'm waiting for the invitation and yes, I will gladly join you." 

You sip your wine while enjoying the view in front of you. Your husband strips his clothes one by one, like he is seducing you. His body never fails to make your breath hitch every time. You have seen it all, you have felt it, yet it never stops making your heart thumping hard.

"I see you are liking the view, my love." He says as he drops the last piece of his clothes, he takes his time to enter the bathtub, like he is teasing you. 

He sinks to the bathroom, facing you. The bathtub is big enough for the two of you but it feels suffocating, the atmosphere inside the bathroom has changed completely with Seungcheol naked in front of you. You offer him your wine and he gladly sips it. The way he never leaves his eyes from you when he sips the wine, making your stomach turn because of nervousness but  you know very well that he is teasing you. He can tease you and edge you without laying his hands on you, his eyes are enough. 

"Are we still playing this game?" You lean back and rest both your hands on the bathtub sides. 

He chuckles and scoots closer to you until he is close enough for you to wrap your legs around his waist. You let out a shaky sigh when you feel his hard length pressing on your stomach.

"I love to play this game with you, I love to see you look desperate and begging me." He whispers in your ear seductively, blowing a small air from his mouth to your ear before giving your ear a gently kiss. 

He plays with your damp hair, twirling it before tucking it behind your ear. His other hand was tracing a line along your thigh that made you shiver. While his eyes never leave yours, his eyes are getting dark, lust starts to take over him and you can clearly see the hunger in his eyes. 

"Please, kiss me." You beg, because you can’t take it anymore. 

Seungcheol smirks before leaning in to kiss you. The kiss is not sweet at all, it is full of hunger, desperation. It was messy.

Just like you love it. 

"Someone is too giddy?" Seungcheol teases you between kisses.

"You left me untouched for almost a month. I'm hungry for you. I need you." You say while trying to hide the moan that is on the tip of your tongue.

The beast that has been sleeping inside Seungcheol wakes up, he doesn’t even think twice to kiss you again, harder this time. He pulls you on top of him. You make yourself comfortable on top of him before wrapping your legs around his waist and grinding against his length. 

He is taking his time with you until the sound of Sena's crying voice blast through the baby monitor. She is crying frantically and calling your name. The two of you break the kiss and Seungcheol groans in frustration, this is the moment he's been waiting for. 

"You should enjoy your bath, I'll take care of Sena." As much as he wants to stay, he gets up from the bathtub. 

He kisses your lips quickly before getting out of the bath. He is drying and wrapping  his body as quickly as possible. Picking the clothes he takes off earlier and wearing it fast. He doesn’t even realize he wears his t-shirt inside out because he rushes to Sena’s room.

You peek behind Sena’s bedroom door after finishing your shower. Seungcheol is sleeping beside her with his arms wrapped around Sena, protecting his little angel from the monster under the bed. You tiptoe your way in, kissing your daughter's forehead good night and Seungcheol cheek too. You are not going to wake Seungcheol up, you are going to let them sleep soundly. When you pull the cover up, Seungcheol opens his eyes slightly before he smiles when he sees you. 

There is no word needed, his eyes speak enough for you to understand everything that he has in mind. Seungcheol moves very slowly, afraid that his movement can wake his little angel. Sena tosses a little, both you and Seungcheol are holding your breath. After making sure Sena is still in her dream land, Seungcheol gets out of bed. 

"Sweet dream, little angel." Seungcheol whispers before kissing Sena's cheek. 

Both of you make your way out of Sena's room quietly. His right arm wraps around your waist and his left hand is holding the baby monitor.

"Thank you, baby." You kiss Seungcheol on the cheek when the door behind you finally close. 

"What are you thanking me for?" Seungcheol asks, raising his eyebrow. 

"You let me take a long relaxing bath."

"Oh honey, you deserve it. You deserve the long relaxing bath more than anyone." He gently wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. 

You rest your head on his shoulder, wrapping your hands on his waist too. The hug is much needed after a long day and after not seeing each other for a long time. 

"Why don't you change your clothes? You still wear the bathrobe." Seungcheol says as he brushes his palm on your back. 

"I don't think I need to, because soon, I won't need to wear anything, right?" You whisper in his ear that sends a shiver down his spine. 

"You are so right, because I will be the one who takes it off." He says in a deep voice that make you gulp but you are not backing down tonight. 

You seduce him back before with loosening up the bathrobe but he captures your lips right away before you could do anything else. The two of you make your way to the main bedroom without letting go of each other's lips. Bumping here and there was not a big deal until he pins you against the door.

You hiss when your back hits the door, quite harsh but you love it so much, so you don’t say anything. You love him when he is desperate. 

"Baby, the monitor." You remind him while tapping on his shoulder, the man is busy kissing your neck. 

“Right!” Seungcheol realizes he probably left it on the counter somewhere along the way, he hurries to look for the baby monitor, his lips are swollen and his hair is already a mess because of you. 

You open the bedroom door and jump to the bed, waiting for Seungcheol to come back with an elbow supporting yourself so you are not fully lying down. The bedroom door handles creek and you smirk when you see your husband is coming looking all sexy especially he is holding a baby monitor in his hand. 

"What a good daddy," You tease him. 

He gently put the baby monitor on the nightstand before crawling his way to you.

"Am I?" He is caging you. 

He leans down until his face is close to you– close enough until you can feel his heavy breath on your face.

"You are a good daddy, that's why I want to give you a present." You push him, so he is lying on his back. You crawl on top of him, settling down just right above his hips, bending yourself so he can see your breast slightly behind the bathrobe. 

"I can't wait to receive it." He rests his head on the head board, hands behind his head. 

The smirk on his face grows wider when you pull your bathrobe tie loose, exposing your bare body. You kiss his chest seductively and keep going down without breaking eye contact with him.

"Daddy?" Sena is pointing at the TV in front of her.

"That's right baby, it's daddy on the TV." You are smiling because Sena seems so excited to see his dad on the TV.

"Mama, where is daddy?" You smile at her, an assuring smile while patting her head

"Daddy is working at the moment, baby. Do you miss daddy?" You ask her but her facial expression changes instantly. 

She is crying. 

"Baby, you miss daddy so much? Should we try to call him?" You pick Sena to your arms, trying to calm her down by calling her daddy. 

He doesn’t pick up his call, he is probably in the middle of shooting. So you send a message to Seungkwan, asking if Seungcheol is busy at the moment. Seungkwan replies right away, telling you that Seungcheol is doing an interview for his drama with his co-stars.

“Daddy is busy at the moment, baby. I’m sorry.” You hug your child, rocking her so she calms down.

Your phone rings, Seungkwan is calling you so you pick it up immediately.

"Hello? Seungkwan?"

"Hello, I’m sorry but Seungcheol is shooting at the moment, is there something important? Do you want me to pass the message to him? Or is it private?" He asks.

"Oh? no no, it’s fine. Sena is crying because she misses her daddy. She saw Seungcheol on the TV." You explain

"Aw, Sena missed his dad? Sena do you miss uncle too?" Seungkwan tries to calm Sena down with a joke. 

"Sena misses her uncle Kwan too— well, Seungkwan, thank you for calling me. I’m sorry for bothering you." You thank Seungkwan who always responds to your message fast.

"No worries, I will tell Seungcheol to call you as soon as his schedule is done." He assures you before he ends the call.

Sena is no longer crying, she is all smiley by now.

"Daddy is still working, he will call us as soon as he finishes working." You explain to Sena and she just nods before snuggling into your embrace.

"Sena, do you want to go on a date with mama?" You try to cheer her up and distract her until Seungcheol finishes with his work. 

"Do you want to go out? Shall we have a mama-daughter date?" Sena doesn’t understand yet what mama-daughter date is but she is excited and nods while giggling.

You help Sena change her clothes and get yourself ready. You pack Sena's necessities to her bag before going straight to your car. You send a message to Seungcheol to let him know that you are out on a date with Sena.

"Sena, what should we do first? Should we play in the park first?" You ask Sena while settling her down on her car seat.

"Park? I like it mama!" The sides of your lips make high curves seeing your daughter excited with the idea of playing in the park.

You arrive at the park and the park is much more crowded than usual, a lot of families come to picnic or accompany their child playing in the park’s playground. You let Sena run around with you chase her, before she makes friend with other kids, so you let her be. 

You are sitting on the playground bench with the other parents. You feel a little jealous of a family that comes and plays together, a complete family like that one family in front of you who are busy playing catch with their son. You let out a sigh that is a little bit too loud. 

"Are you okay?" A mother probably in her forties asks you. You don’t even realize that she is sitting beside you. 

"Oh? Sorry, did I sighed too loud?" You apologize. 

"No, no worries. I hope everything is going well for you." She gives you a sweet smile and you smile back at her. 

"It must be nice to play with a complete family like that, especially when their father is around" She continues. 

"Ah, sorry, I’m feeling a little emotional today." She apologizes. 

"No, it's fine. Are you okay?" You turn to face her, to make sure that she is okay. .

"Me? no. I'm not. I'm in the middle of my divorce proceedings. Stressful." She laughed. The laugh is not a happy laugh, it is a laugh that forces you to hide your hardship in front of others. 

"Oh no, I'm so sorry it happened to you." 

"No, don't be. It is the best decision I made this year. He kept me and my son like a secret, he didn't bring me and our son to his company's end of the year party or dinner. He rarely brought us to his family gathering—he didn't even want to be seen with us. It feels like I’m watching a drama." She ends her short story with a chuckle. 

"He thought I was too ugly to be seen with him. I used to be fucking pretty too—I just don't have time to take care of myself because I'm too tired to do it after doing the chores and taking care of our son." She keeps talking and you keep listening to whatever she needs to let out. 

"In the end, I caught him cheating with his so-called "work wife" whose younger and prettier—I'm sorry, I overshared." She clasps both her hands in front of her mouth and apologizes to you again. 

"No, no, it's fine. I'm glad that you talked about it to me, I hope your divorce proceedings finish neatly." Hearing her story makes you overthink about your marriage with Seungcheol because you are nobody. Nobody knows who you are and nobody knows that you have a superstar husband. You open your mouth, wanting to talk with the woman again but you hear the sound of your daughter crying.

You rush to your daughter who is lying on the ground just below the slide, she falls down from the slide. 

"Sena? Are you okay?" You try to calm her down. 

You hold her up and brush her clothes that were full of dust. Her knees get scratched because of the fall and her palms too. Thankfully the wound is not that big but seeing her crying frantically makes you panic. You carry her back to the bench while telling her that everything is going to be okay.

"It's okay, baby." You soothe her.  

The mother who talked with you earlier is pulling out an emergency medical kit from her bag.

"Here, always prepared because my son loves the ground so much." She gives you her medical kit bag. 

"Thank you so much." You sit Sena on the bench before taking the medical kit bag. 

"Honey, we're single fighters. We help each other." She says while patting your back. 

You give her a thankful smile even though you are not a single parent, deep inside you feel like one. Maybe it is because of all the commotion that happened today, it makes you tired to handle it all by yourself. 

You finish cleaning her wound then give back the medical kit bag to her. You thank her once again before bringing Sena to the toilet to change her clothes. While changing you keep your smile all the time, telling your daughter that it is totally normal to fall and the wound will be healed in no time. You try to hide the tears that almost spill from your eyes, you are tired doing these by yourself. You couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for all the single parents out there. 

You take Sena to her favorite pizza place, it is in a famous Italian restaurant not too far from the park. Seungcheol brought the pizza from there once and Sena loves it very much, so every time you want to eat pizza, you always order it from there. 

The drive to the restaurant is less than ten minutes, as you park your car, you let out a sharp exhale before putting a big smile for your daughter on her car seat in the back. 

“Let’s go, baby!” 

Upon arriving at the restaurant, the staff ushered you right away to a four sitter table. The staff tells you in advance there will be a group around twenty that already book, so it will be a little bit too noisy. You thank the staff and order right away because you already know what to order. 

The foods come quickly as you expected and you slice the pizza in smaller pieces for Sena. 

"Yummy!" She exclaims

“Eat a lot, baby.” You smile at her as you take a bite of your pizza.

"Mama? That is Daddy!" Sena points her finger towards the entrance. 

Your eyes follow Sena’s finger and it is Seungcheol but he is not alone. He is with the whole filming crew including his co-star. The door opens again and Seungkwan walks in with one phone between his ear and shoulder and he is busy typing on the other phone. 

"Daddy! Daddy!" Sena shouts, calling her daddy that successfully steals attention from the surrounding. 

Seungcheol recognizes that voice immediately. His baby’s voice that always runs to him every time he shows up behind the door. He knows it by heart. Seungcheol’s eyes wander to look for his baby, his daughter– until he spots the two of you sitting side by side. 

When you realize Seungcheol and the whole crew's eyes are on the two of you, you try to calm Sena down before everything turns to something worse. 

"Sena, let's continue to eat." You plea to your daughter who is still calling his daddy. 

"No, Sena wants daddy!" She cries out.

You glance behind your shoulder trying to see Seungcheol but you can’t because Sena is getting out of hand to handle. 

"Daddy!" Sena cries out Seungcheol's name. 

Seungcheol's heart wrecks to pieces when he hears it. He wants to run and hug his baby, he wants her in his arms. 

"What a pitiful lady, her daughter keeps calling you daddy. She probably doesn't have one, so she called every man she saw, her dad." Sumi, Seungcheol’s co-star, makes a rude comment and Seungcheol glares at her. 

"What did you say?" Seungcheol angrily asks. 

"Her mom probably watched too much drama with you as the main lead, so her baby called you his dad. Her mother should behave her child—I know she's a baby but she disturbs the whole restaurant." His co-star keeps rambling that makes Seungcheol’s blood boil.

Seungcheol couldn't believe what he just heard. He knows that his co-star has a problem with her attitude, but he can't tolerate this. She is humiliating his family. His blood. 

"You should watch your words." Seungcheol says coldly. 

Seungcheol drags his gaze to you again. Sena is trying to climb out from the baby chair, so when he sees Sena almost fall down, his heart drops to his stomach. He can’t move his feet because it feels like it is nailed to the ground. 

"I got you, baby." Jeonghan comes out of nowhere to catch her in time. 

You are surprised to see Jeonghan here but you are really grateful because you have no idea what to do if Sena really falls from her seat. 

"Jeonghan, thank you." You thank him and he only wink at you as his response. 

“No need to thank me and you should relax for a bit. I got you.” He notices right away how tense you are.

Jeonghan sees Seungcheol with the crew, in fact Jeonghan is the one who invited them to have dinner together to celebrate another successful drama with Seungcheol as their main lead.

"Let me borrow her quickly and you should take your time to eat.” Jeonghan squishes your shoulder gently before bringing Sena to where the crew are sitting. 

"Jeonghan, don't." You try to stop him  but Jeonghan is being himself, so he won’t listen to you. 

With Sena in his arms, he takes big and full of pride at every step. Seungcheol is looking at Jeonghan who is picking his daughter like she is Jeonghan’s. As Jeonghan is getting closer to the table, Seungcheol notices a scratch on Sena’s knees. 

"Evening everyone," Jeonghan greets them, picking Sena’s right hand and waves it. 

"Mr. Yoon, do you know this child?" Seungcheol co-star asks.

"Oh? I know this child very well and I know her mother very well. The pretty lady right there." Jeonghan points at you, who looks concerned.

"Oh? Is she your wife?" One of the crew asks.

"Oh? I wish." Jeonghan chuckles that makes the other chuckle too but not Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol hates that joke very much. 

"Daddy," Sena's hands reach out to Seungcheol and without hesitation, Seungcheol takes Sena in his arms naturally. 

The whole crew look at Seungcheol weirdly because the way Seungcheol takes Sena in his arms naturally and the way Sena looks comfortable around Seungcheol, raise suspicions from others. 

"Seems like Sena loves you so much, Seungcheol." Seungkwan, who just ended his phone call trying to ease the tension before he realizes, he calls Sena by his name. 

"Oh? Mr. Yoon, how are you?" Seungkwan switches the topic right away to Jeonghan.

"Oh, Seungkwan, how are you? You look so busy these days." Jeonghan plays along with Seungkwan.

"Ah, no no, Seungcheol just has so many calls, but everything is under control." Seungkwan steals glances at Seungcheol who is busy playing and talking with Sena. 

"Uncle Kwan," Sena giggles while calling Seungkwan name. 

Seungkwan looks at Jeonghan, asking for help. 

"Does Sena remember Uncle Seungkwan?" Jeonghan plays along while stealing Sena back to his arms from her dad. 

"Of course Sena remembers me, right Sena?" Seungkwan leans in towards Sena, makes her giggle.

"Well, is it okay if my dear friend and her child join us for dinner?" Jeonghan asks everyone at the table and of course nobody dares to object to the investor. 

You end up sitting beside Jeonghan awkwardly with Sena in her baby chair. Seungcheol is sitting in front of you and you feel a little bit uncomfortable seeing how his co-star is sitting too close to him. You are jealous of her because she is younger, prettier, and skinnier. 

"Are you jealous?" Jeonghan whispers in your ear.

"Huh? No, why would I?" You smile at him, trying to change your expression, so it is not too obvious. 

Jeonghan chuckles before resting his hands on the back of your chair. Jeonghan's actions earn him whistles from here and there, because they are still thinking that you are with Jeonghan.

Seungcheol's eyes are burning with jealousy, he knows his best friend too well. He knows that Jeonghan purposely makes him jealous and boy, it is working. The others are busy chatting and drinking while Seungcheol never leaves his eyes from you. 

"You should eat." Jeonghan says to you. 

"I’m fine, I’m not that hungry." You give Jeonghan a smile before looking at Seungcheol for a mere second. 

"Let me feed her." Jeonghan stands up and moves his chair so he is sitting beside Sena and that successfully makes Seungcheol angry. 

Seungcheol kicks your feet gently under the table, signaling you to meet him in the toilet at the back. You try to put on a poker face before standing up from your seat and excuse yourself to the restroom. 

"Jeonghan, I’m going to the restroom for a while.” 

"Take all the time you need. Sena is happy with me." Jeonghan says as he happily feeds Sena the pizza. 

You walk rather quickly to the women’s room. You stand in front of the mirror and stare at your reflection. Eye bag under your eyes, your hair that you clipped carelessly—you haven't had time to go to the salon to do your hair. Your hair was getting long and messy. You didn't even remember when you had time for yourself, going to a spa, to a nail salon, you just didn't have the time for yourself. You let out a deep sigh before getting out of the women’s room. 

As you push the door, Seungcheol is already standing in front of the door, not too far from the men’s room door. He doesn’t say anything, even a simple hello– he pulls you to the side, so nobody won't find the two of you there. 

"Hey, what happened?" You ask calmly.

"What are you doing here? Did Jeonghan tell you that we're having a staff dinner here?" He asks, his tone was higher than your liking, both hands on his waist. 

He is pissed and you can’t do anything about it. 

"First of all, I'm taking my daughter to eat in her favorite restaurant and second, I don't even know that you will be having dinner here with your crew." You bark back as you fold your arms in front of your chest. 

"Then why did you act like you were a couple with Jeonghan?" He scoffs and it starts to get into your nerves.

"I didn't? We literally just sit there and eat our foods for God's sake. I don't even make any comments about how your co-star is acting all annoying and touchy with you." You finally snap at him, huffing at the end because you are so done. 

You are tired. 

"Oh please, we're just co-star. You know how I feel about her and why didn't you clarify that you are not with Jeonghan? You can at least deny it." Seungcheol counters back as he raises his eyebrows.

"Should I deny it in front of your whole crew and clarify that you are my husband instead? Is that what you want?" There is no friendly tone in the way you talk with him. 

"Do you want me to tell the whole damn world that Choi Seungcheol, the top star, is my husband? That we have already married for five years? That we have a daughter that misses her father so much she has been crying the whole day calling your name? Do you know how stressed I was when you walked through that door and Sena kept calling your name? Do you know how hard it is to act like we didn't know you at all? So you know how hurt I am seeing your daughter cry your name but you act like you don't know her? Like she is not your own blood and flesh?" You keep talking, don't give Seungcheol a single chance to talk– to interrupt you. 

Your tears are finally coming out from your eyes and you don’t even bother to wipe it. 

"Do you think that you are the only one hurting?" Seungcheol finally speaks up, feeling hurt with your words. 

"Then you should do something." And then you leave.

You leave the love of your life there, still shocked after hearing everything you have said. His heart is racing because he is mad. Not with you, but with himself.

You compose yourself for a moment and make your way back to the table acting like nothing happened but Jeonghan notices it right away.

"I think we should get going. It's almost Sena's bed time." You say to Jeonghan while gathering your things.

"Oh right, do you want me to take you home?" Jeonghan offers but you reject it right away. 

You give Seungkwan a small smile while he is helping you. 

"Thank you everyone for the dinner, we'll be going first. Sena, say thank you." You pick Sena up.

"Thank you!" Sena says cutely while bowing. 

Everyone is giggling because of Sena's cuteness and as you excuse yourself once again, you meet with Seungcheol again. You don’t even offer him a smile, you walk past him with Sena in your arms. Like you don’t know him at all. 

Jeonghan follows you to the car, he holds Sena’s bag and he walks by your side. 

"Did the two of you fight?" Jeonghan asks calmly after he settles Sena on her car seat. 

You nod and the tears start to pour down again from your eyes. You are really tired and you can't even talk about it to anyone. You've been keeping it to yourself, you don’t even talk about it to Seungcheol because you know he is also tired and stressed because of his work. You just don’t want to burden him more.

"Oh my." Jeonghan pulls you into a hug. 

A hug from a friend that you need the most because at the moment, only Jeonghan knows how hard it is for you. 

One of the crew sees the two of you in the parking lot, hugging. He runs back to the restaurant and announces it to the whole table. Seungcheol's face turns more sour, he is not done with being angry with himself, with the situation, and now he is burning with jealousy.

"Just stay for ten minutes more then I will make excuses so we can go early." Seungkwan whispers and Seungcheol doesn't even respond to Seungkwan. 

He is burning inside; he is angry with himself, he is angry with the situation, he is angry with Jeonghan because he should be the one who hugs you tightly and assures you, not him.

You just finished putting Sena to sleep, she keeps asking for her daddy and it hurts you so much that her daddy is not beside her at the moment. Sena is already at the age where she starts to understand about her surroundings and especially her parents

You plop yourself to the sofa, taking a long deep breath in and out to relax yourself even though your mind is not relaxing at the moment after fighting with Seungcheol earlier. Your mind is full of thoughts and  questions regarding your marriage with Seungcheol. You sigh and close your eyes for a moment. 

You never had any doubts regarding your marriage with Seungcheol but today is totally different from any other fights you had with him before. You are afraid that Sena is feeling lonely, she doesn’t have anyone else beside you and Seungcheol. You have no family, your parents passed away since you were in high school. You have no siblings and so does Seungcheol. The two of you have no family beside each other.

Especially with Seungcheol who is busy with his work, he rarely goes home. You are afraid that Sena starts to feel unfamiliar with her own father. 

Tears start to come out again but you brush it off when you hear your apartment door unlocked.

"Honey?" Seungcheol calls out but you refuse to answer him and make your way to the kitchen.

"Love, are you mad at me?" Seungcheol tries to stop you by grabbing your wrist.

"I'm tired, Seungcheol. Can we talk about this tomorrow?" You brush him off and continue your way to the kitchen.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He follows you to the kitchen, he stomps his way to the kitchen. 

"I am not, Cheol. I'm just tired." You stop him before he could go any further towards you. 

"I am also tired, honey. You are not the only one." He lets out a frustrated sigh, both of his hands rest on his waist– His face clearly shows how tired he is but you just can’t talk in a right mind with him at the moment. 

"I know that you are tired too, Cheol. I understand. But did you know how tired I was? How do I need to handle everything by myself? You rarely go home. You never came to the parent-teacher meeting. You never played with Sena in the playground. Do you know she was crying the whole day asking for his daddy? Do you know we tried to video call you once?” You take a deep breath and wipe the tears on your face. 

“Do you know I had to be the annoying wife that called her husband's manager just to ask about her own husband? Did the husband respond to her wife's text or call? Did you know that Sena fell on the playground and she was a crying mess and I was the only one who needed to calm her down and clean the wound? Do you know how hopeless I am?" Tears are streaming down your face. You can’t even stand anymore, you squat yourself down, head down. 

"I'm trying my best here. I really do." Seungcheol sounds defeated. 

He is hurting and so do you. 

Seungcheol is hurting to see you like this and you are hurting because you know, you just hurt him. 

"I know but I feel like I'm all alone in this. I'm tired of being hidden. For acting like a mistress. To stay hidden and untouchable from the outside world, for putting an act in front of everyone that my husband is a very busy business man that works on the other side of the world. Well, at least I can bear it all but Sena? Sena needs her father." You push yourself up and leave him in the kitchen by himself. 

You go straight to Sena's room, lying yourself down on the carpet slowly, not daring to make any noise, afraid that Sena will wake up because of you.

Seungcheol is still standing in the kitchen. He doesn’t move an inch. He stays there for a long time, his shoulder slumps like he is defeated. His mind is messy with everything that is happening at the moment. He knows very well how hurt you are because of him and it wrecks him. He takes his car key and leaves. 

Seungcheol doesn’t drive right away. He takes a breather inside the car, resting his head on the head rest. He takes his phone and sends Mingyu a simple message to let him know that he is on his way to his place. 

"Well damn you look wreck as hell." It is the first thing Mingyu says when he opens his apartment door. 

Mingyu is Seungcheol's group mates along with Wonwoo and Vernon. Mingyu knows about Seungcheol’s relationship but he doesn’t know the relationship has bloomed into something more serious– marriage.

"So, what's wrong?" Mingyu asks while pouring the whiskey.

"I had a fight, a big one." Seungcheol says then he drinks the Whiskey in one breath. 

Mingyu scoffs after seeing Seungcheol drink the Whiskey like it was a tequila and Mingyu is hundred percent sure the fight is taking a big toll in Seungcheol. 

"With your girlfriend?" Mingyu asks, trying to act like he doesn’t know it as he sips his Whiskey gracefully, a total opposite of what Seungcheol is doing. 

“Yes.” Seungcheol sighs defeatedly. 

"Oh? I thought you broke up already? I mean there's a rumor that you date your co-stars." Mingyu turns his seat to face Seungcheol. 

It is just Mingyu’s way to get all the information he needs. Mingyu knows the rumor of him dating his co-star is just another baseless rumor– he just lures him to spill all the beans Seungcheol has been keeping to himself.

"No, I’m not dating my co-star and actually we’re past the stage of girlfriend and boyfriend." Seungcheol looks at Mingyu dead in the eye and Mingyu pours another drink into Seungcheol glass. 

“What do you mean you passed the dating phase? Did you already propose to her?” Mingyu takes down the remaining whiskey in his glass. 

“We’re married.” Seungcheol says casually that makes the man beside him choke on his drink. 

"You what? What the fuck?" Mingyu doesn’t believe what he just heard, he is standing right now, marching back and forth while saying whoa for the nth time. His hands are covering his mouth on the floor at the moment. 

“You? Already married? Since when? For fuck sake.” Mingyu asks, frustrated because this information is not something that someone can casually drop. 

"It's been five years and next month is our sixth anniversary." Seungcheol chuckles bitterly after remembering their wedding anniversary next month. He pours the whiskey to his glass again and sighs hard before downing his drink.

"You gotta be kidding me—how could, how come we didn't know?" Mingyu sits down and holds both of Seungcheol's shoulders while shaking him lightly. 

"Seungkwan and Jeonghan know." 

Mingyu is speechless again. 

"Just them? The two of them?" Mingyu is shaking his head in disbelief. 

"I have a daughter too you know, she's so pretty just like her mom. Do you want to see her?" Another bomb is dropped casually and Mingyu can’t wait for another shocking news to be dropped casually by his leader. 

Mingyu is dumbfounded at this point. He is just processing the word of marriage and suddenly Seungcheol brings up his daughter. 

"How in the world do you keep it hidden so well? Your wife must be so tired to hide from the rest of the world." Mingyu suddenly feels sympathetic towards you and Seungcheol only gives him a wry smile.

"She's so cute right?" Seungcheol doesn’t want to answer Mingyu's question because he knows the answer already, so he pulls his phone out and shows Mingyu photos of Sena.

“She is super cute but I really need to know every detail that I’ve been missing since five years ago.” Mingyu demands as he takes out another bottle of whiskey for his friend. 

The second bottle of Whiskey is for Seungcheol. Mingyu doesn’t drink that much because his mind should be in the right place to proceed with every new information that is out from Seungcheol’s mouth. As much as Mingyu wants to be mad at Seungcheol for hiding such an important thing from him, Mingyu chooses to stay silent and listen to his best friend ramble. Seungcheol even cried at some point. Seungcheol keeps saying that he is sorry for you to handle it all by yourself. Seungcheol is mad at himself because he hides you from the rest of the world like a secret that needs to be kept.

Mingyu takes Seungcheol back to his apartment when the clock strikes at three in the morning. Mingyu even fell asleep at some point on the sofa and sober himself first before driving the drunk man back. Mingyu knows Seungcheol’s apartment but he never let anyone come inside, Seungcheol always said it is his private property so nobody is allowed to come in. Mingyu glances at the older guy who is sleeping on the back seat– he is sleeping with his mouth open. 

“Private property my ass, you have been hiding your wife and daughter there.” Mingyu says to the sleeping Seungcheol. 

After hearing Seungcheol left earlier, you end up falling asleep on the carpet in Sena's room. You are awakened by the apartment doorbell that keeps ringing. You reach your hands out to look for your phone and it is three in the morning. You push yourself up before tiptoeing your way out from Sena’s room. When you close Sena’s room, you rush to check the front with the intercom. 

The intercom shows Mingyu who is holding drunk Seungcheol. You unlock the door right away and run to the front door. Mingyu has difficulty keeping the man in line while opening the damn door because one wrong move, the drunkard will fall. You hurried to pull the door open, to let both of them in. 

"Hello, it's finally nice to meet you. I'm sorry we met this way but your husband's ass is so heavy." Mingyu greets you with a big smile on his face whereas he is struggling to carry Seungcheol. 

“I’m so sorry for bothering you, just drop him on the couch.” You apologize to Mingyu and helps him to bring Seungcheol to the couch. 

Mingyu throws Seungcheol's body to the couch and he sits himself right away at the carpeted floor right in front of the couch. 

"Your husband is really something else– he is getting more buff these days and I’m sorry for not introducing myself properly. My name is Mingyu, Kim Mingyu." Mingyu offers his hand to you and you shake his hand while introducing yourself.

"We should have met long long ago but this big guy right here decided to keep you under the radar." Mingyu nudges the side of Seungcheol’s waist, making the drunk man groan in his sleep and you answer him with a dry laugh. 

"I’m sorry, let me get you a drink. Is cold water okay for you?" 

“Yes, that’s what I need the most right now.” Mingyu smiles at you and you hurry to the kitchen. You grab a bottle of cold water from the fridge but stop for a moment. This is the first time you have met Seungcheol's friends other than Seungkwan and Jeonghan. You have seen Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Vernon from TV or in the concert but you never talk with them in person, you only know each of them from Seungcheol’s story. 

You make your way back to the tired Mingyu who is half sleeping on the carpeted floor until he sees you. He sits straight right away and takes the bottle you give him. 

"Thank you." He thanked you before cracking the bottle cap. Mingyu gulps down the water in one breath like he just finished a marathon.

"I wish I could meet Sena, but she must be sleeping right now." Mingyu says while giving you a friendly smile.

"Yes, she is sleeping right now." You don't know what to say further, so you only answer the question as it is. You still feel awkward meeting one of Seungcheol’s best friends directly because you only know them from his stories only. 

“I know it must be surprising for you to meet someone else from Seungcheol’s life other than Seungkwan and Jeonghan. As much as he is a big pain in the ass, he is still my best friend and my best friend's wife is also my best friend. So, just think of me as one of your friends.” Mingyu assures you. 

"Thank you, Mr. Kim." You thank him formally and Mingyu's facial expression changes right away, like he is hurting because you call him in a formal way. 

"Please, call me Mingyu. No need to be formal with me." 

“I will try.” You offer him a friendly smile that makes Mingyu laugh because everyone in this room–sadly it’s only the two of you in the room, three including Seungcheol, can feel the awkwardness out of you.  

"Sena, my baby, Sena." Seungcheol babbles in his sleep. You and Mingyu look at each other before looking at Seungcheol that keeps babbling and calling your name too. 

"Well, that's my cue to take my leave then. I hope the problem ends well." Mingyu stands on his feet and walks to the front door. You escort him to the front door, waiting for the man to wear his sandals. 

“Are you sure you don’t need my help to move him to the room?” He asks once again, hand already on the door handle. 

“No, he is fine on the couch.” You joke to ease the awkwardness between you and Mingyu. 

“Can’t agree no more. I’m taking my leave then,” Mingyu nods a little to you. 

“Thank you, drive safe!” As he leaves, you close the door. You walk to the living room, right to your drunk husband who is still sleeping on the sofa with his brows knit together like he is thinking hard in his sleep. That is his habit when he has something in his mind, he doesn’t sleep peacefully.

"Baby, wake up. Let's get you to bed." You tapped his cheek lightly to wake him up but he didn't budge at all. 

"Baby?" You call him again, still tapping his cheek lightly. Seungcheol's eyes flutter and he looks at you for a moment before he pushes himself up with his elbow to sit straight up on the sofa. 

"Love?" He still calls your name shaky. 

"It's me, I'm here." You take his cold hands and he pulls you into his laps, you fall right to him and he immediately wraps his arms around you, head resting on your shoulder. He is showering your shoulder with little kisses. 

"I'm sorry." He says as he looks up to you so his eyes meet yours. 

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." You apologize, giving his hands a squish. 

"No, I'm a total jerk. I am a bad husband. I don't deserve all the love you and Sena give to me." He shakes his head and tears start to form in his eyes again. 

"Don't say that, you deserve it. I'm just too tired and finally exploding. I'm sorry for talking to you that way." You hug him tight. 

"I deserve it more than anyone in this whole world. I'm sorry. I never have any intention to hide you from the whole world, I'm too selfish." Seungcheol says as the tears in his eyes finally make their way down to his face. You feel his tears on your shoulder and you tighten the hug even more. The two of you stay there for a moment longer, to reflect on everything that happened today.

"Shall we go to the bathroom? Let's wash your face, brush your teeth and change your clothes." You say as you help him to get up and walk to the bathroom. You sit him down on the closed toilet, put a hairband around his head.

You are busy washing his face with a damp cloth with his hands on your waist. He keeps squishing your waist even though it is a gentle squish, it’s still distracting you. 

“You know, there is a Japanese drama that is very similar to our story—the father is a top idol who is secretly married to an amazing woman with three children. His group member finds out and demands him to remove him from the group.” Seungcheol murmurs as you rub his face gently with a facial wash. 

“And?”

"And I think it will hurt me more to get kicked out from the group" He chuckles but not a funny one. A sad chuckle.

“What are you thinking, hon?” You ask him straight to the point and stop rubbing his face. 

"Retirement." Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear him saying the word retirement. 

"It's not because of our fight—I've been thinking about it for a while. I think I have done enough." He gives you an assuring smile with bubbles from the facial wash.  

"But you love your job, hon." You remind him and you continue to wash the bubbles away from his face.

"Lets talk about this later okay? When you are sober." You say and he nods.

Last night was a moment that you will remember for the rest of your life, not just you but Seungcheol too. That was the first time you had a huge fight with him and even though the two of you made up not long after, the two of you haven’t finished the talk about retirement. The most important thing right now is you are being woken with kisses and giggles from Seungcheol and Sena.

"Good morning, Mama!" Seungcheol exclaims as he sees your eyes open. 

"Morning, Mama!” Sena follows Seungcheol with giggles. 

"Morning the love of mama’s life." Both of your hands stretch out to hug them both. Sena is getting squished between you and Seungcheol.

Sena let out a squeal when Seungcheol attacked her with a tickle. Seungcheol doesn’t stop there, he attacks you with kisses all over your face that makes you laugh uncontrollably. 

A morning like this is what you wish for. The love of your life, lying beside you, annoying or tickling each other. Your heart warms up because you will exchange the world just for this moment. Most of the time, Seungcheol already left for his schedule even before Sena was awake. 

"Sena, let's prepare breakfast for mama!" Seungcheol says to Sena that makes the little girl jump from the bed like she is ready to conquer the kitchen. 

"Let's go, daddy!" Sena exclaims happily.

Seungcheol gives you a kiss on your forehead before running to catch up with Sena who is already waiting at the door. Seungcheol picks Sena up before he opens the door and he closes it slowly and before the door closes fully, Seungcheol winks at you. 

You stretch yourself on the bed, looking for a comfortable position. The smile hasn’t left your face and you hope it will stay all day. You hear a utensil falling and it makes a very loud sound but you don’t care. You don’t care if your kitchen will get messy or if any of your kitchen utensils breaks, because the most important thing is, Sena is making memories with his daddy.

The utensils can be replaced, the mess can be tidied, but the memories will last forever. 

Your hand reaches out to the night stand beside the bed, you grab your phone and as you unlock your phone. There are messages from Seungkwan, not just two or three messages but a bunch of it. There are five missed calls from Seungkwan and you know something is happening. You open the messages and most of it is asking for Seungcheol to answer his call and Seungkwan telling you to not panic. 

You jump right out from the bed, heart racing and you hold yourself to look Seungcheol’s name on the internet in the meantime. Your right hand is already holding the door handle but before you open your bedroom door, you try to calm yourself first before delivering the news to Seungcheol. 

"Cheol," You call his name softly with a smile on your face, a smile that only Seungcheol could understand. The smile on his face fades right away when he sees your face. He kisses the top of Sena’s head before walking towards your direction. 

"I don't know what happened but please call Seungkwan back." You hold both of his hands, giving it a gentle squish. 

“I’ll be right back.” Seungcheol kisses your temple before making his way to the bedroom. 

He grabs his phone on the night stand, the phone he hasn’t touched since last night. As he unlocks his phone, tons of messages from Seungkwan flood in, there are missed phone calls from his CEO and Joshua, head of PR. Seungcheol's hands are quick to find Seungkwan contact and calls him right away. 

"Where have you been? I've been calling you!" No greeting or small talk from Seungkwan only means one thing and it is not a good sign. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't check my phone at all." Seungcheol apologizes right away as he takes a seat at the end of the bed. 

"You are all over the news— someone leaked to the paparazzi that you are dating Ahn Sumi." Seungcheol lets out a heavy sigh as he leans his head against the head board. 

Another day, another dating scandal.

"Well? It's not a big deal. You know the truth, Kwan." Seungheol says, trying to keep his calm. 

"I know the truth but there is another rumor involving your family. So, you are two timing Ahn Sumi and have a secret family." Seungkwan explains and Seungcheol body tense immediately. 

"Come again?" Seungcheol stands up, he doesn’t believe what kind of nonsense the paparazzi has made. Seungcheol pinches his nose bridge and closes his eyes as he listens to Seungkwan's explanation. 

"I think the paparazzi bribed the crew from our last drama shooting. Your rumor with Ahn Sumi—considered it done, I have talked with Joshua regarding this. Her management is already in contact with Joshua but the problem is we need your clarification for your secret family." Seungcheol's head throbs again, it's not because of the alcohol he consumed last night with Mingyu but it's because of the sudden stress that creeps in. 

"I am not going to deny it, Kwan. You know it."

"I know, Cheol but the company thinks that you are still single. They think you are still dating." Seungcheol lets out a heavy sigh. His head snaps to the bedroom door when he hears the door is being open. Sena’s head pokes from the door, giving Seungcheol a smile. A very genuine smile that makes Seungcheol's heart warm instantly. 

"Sena, daddy is working." You are coming from behind, picking Sena up and before closing the door, you give Seungcheol your biggest and assuring smile. A small gesture to let Seungcheol know that he is not alone.

Seungcheol knows, he can't pretend anymore. He can't live a double life like this anymore. He can't hide you and Sena any longer. The whole world needs to know that Seungcheol is in fact not single. He is a husband to an amazing wife and a father to her loving daughter. He is done playing pretend.

He wants to drop and pick you up from the office. He wants to come to the teacher-parents meeting. He wants to be a father that always came to her daughter's recital. He doesn’t want to hide behind the mask, sunglasses, and hat. He wants the whole world to know his world; his everything.

He wants to be present in your and Sena’s life.

"Seungkwan, I think it's time." Seungkwan knows exactly what Seungcheol means by that. So Seungkwan lets out a deep exhale. 

"I'm going to set up a meeting in an hour. Is that okay?"

"Yes, I'm going to have breakfast first with my family then I will go straight to the office."

"Okay,"

"Seungkwan, thank you." On the other line Seungkwan's breath gets caught in his throat. Seungcheol never forgets to thank everyone who works with him. He always thanks everyone sincerely and he always thanks Seungkwan. 

Ten years of working as Seungcheol’s manager and this gratitude feels deeper, and meaningful yet hurt at the same time. 

"Just so you know, I always got your back. No need to thank me." Seungkwan doesn’t let Seungcheol reply to his words, he ends the call right away. 

Seungkwan knows what’s on Seungcheol's mind— he thinks of early retirement. Seungcheol jokes about it sometimes to Seungkwan. At first, Seungkwan takes it as a joke but seeing how drained Seungcheol is for these past months—Seungkwan knows sooner or later, the topic will come out from Seungcheol’s mouth not as a joke anymore. 

Seungcheol is back in the dining room with a smile on his face. He kisses Sena's cheek multiple times until Sena shrieks with happiness. Then he walks towards you, who is still busy flipping the pancakes on the pan. He hugs you from behind while pampering your shoulder with kisses until you giggle because how ticklish it feels on your skin. 

"Something is up." Seungcheol whispers, resting his head on your shoulder. 

"I know, I checked it on the internet already. Are you okay, honey?" You ask softly while brushing your thumb against his arms that wraps around your waist

"I'm not." Seungcheol says honestly. 

Seungcheol rarely shows the side where he burns out, he always acts tough in front of you and Sena because he doesn’t want you to be worried but he is too tired to pretend that he is tough. 

"Seungcheol, my love." You call his name softly, turning off the stove then facing him.  

You put your hand on the side of his face, giving it a subtle brush with your thumb. 

"You can do anything you want. Whatever your decision is, I just want you to know that you have me. I got you." Seungcheol couldn't hide his tears anymore, he let his tears run down his face.

"Daddy don't cry." Sena's little voice makes Seungcheol choke on his tears even more. He drops to the ground and hugs Sena tightly. 

You can’t hide the tears anymore, you drop to your knees, following Seungcheol. His hands wrap around you and Sena tightly. 

Everything he needs is wrapped around him. 

"Thank you, my love." Seungcheol whispers in your ears.

Pi Cheolin, The CEO of Seungcheol management massages both his temples. He laughed like a maniac when he first read the rumor first thing in the morning. Seungcheol dates his co-stars? Never. Seungcheol has a long time girlfriend? He knows about it. Does Seungcheol have a family? What nonsense this gossip forum spouting. 

But when Seungcheol came in fifteen minutes ago, dropping the truth. Pi Cheolin laughs, he laughs again. Not just maniacally laugh, a very scary stressful laugh. He doesn’t know how to react, so he just laughs as his coping mechanism.  

The other three sit in silence. Vernon and Wonwoo are processing whatever the hell Seungcheol said just now and Mingyu, who just happened to know about it less than twelve hours ago, chooses to keep his mouth shut. 

"Why didn't you tell us? We basically a fucking family and you hide a big news like this from us?" The first comment is coming from Vernon out, everyone in the room never expects that Vernon will be the one who talks. 

"We just met recently in the gym—we even talked about your relationship." Wonwoo feels betrayed by Seungcheol.

"You don't want to say anything, Gyu?" Pi Cheolin asks Mingyu who keeps silent the whole time. 

Mingyu looks around, trying to read the situation in the room. 

"No, I knew about this last night." Mingyu says honestly. 

Vernon scoffs, he gets up from his seat, walks towards the window with both hands on his hips. Vernon laughs to himself, he feels like he is the only one who doesn’t know about anything. 

“I feel so left out.” Vernon lets out a heavy sigh. 

"I'm sorry." Seungcheol’s head is getting heavier, he doesn’t even dare to look his group member– his family in the eye.

“What a good leader you are– betraying your own members, your family– oh do you still think of us as a family? Because the last time I remember, you are the one who always talks about us as a family.” Wonwoo says to Seungcheol, his tone was flat and cold.

Mingyu, who is sitting beside Wonwoo, tries to calm him down. Mingyu’s hands are already on Wonwoo’s shoulder, to keep him from going anywhere or worst case, to stop him from punching Seungcheol. 

"Let's fight after this but what are you gonna do right now, Seungcheol? Joshua already talked with Sumi's management to deny the allegation but what are you gonna do about your alleged family?" Seungkwan asks Seungcheol. Seungkwan’s phone never stopped ringing since the news broke out in the morning. 

"I'm not going to deny it. I'm going to come clean that I have a wife and a daughter. I'm also going to announce my retirement." The last word snapped everyone's head to Seungcheol. 

Silence. 

Everyone in the room couldn't believe what they just heard.

"Your what?" Pi Cheolin asks again to confirm Seungcheol's words. 

"My retirement." Seungcheol says without any hesitation. 

"Oh my—" Seungkwan closes his eyes. He is cursing under his breath because all the prayers he chanted all morning goes to waste. 

Pi Cheolin drops his head to his desk, he feels defeated. Vernon's jaw is on the floor. Wonwoo rubs his temple. Mingyu gets up from his seat and stands beside Vernon. 

"I've been thinking about it for months and today is my last straw. I can't hold it any longer. I want to live like an ordinary person who is married and has a family.” Seungcheol says, his eyes already full with tears.  

“I want to have lunch with my family in a family restaurant just like any other family. I want to attend my daughter's parents-teacher meeting. I want to pick up my wife from work and go to her company's annual dinner. I just want to enjoy my life as a husband and a father. I want the world to know my whole world." Tears start to stream down on his face. 

Seuncheol’s head hangs low, he can’t even look his group member in the eye, all the staff that have worked hard from the very first time he debuted up until now. 

"Okay," Pi Cheolin claps both of his hands loudly, stealing the attention from everyone in the room. 

"Let's do exactly that." Pi Cheolin continues. 

"I'm sorry, what?" Joshua asks, he propped his head up. 

"Let's have a press conference and a formal announcement letter." Pi Cheolin says as he stands up from his seat, walking towards Seungcheol. Pi Cheolin stands right behind the man, putting both of his hands on Seungcheol’s shoulder. 

“We’re going to make a clarification once and for all. Let Ahn Sumi management post a clarification, we will stay still until tomorrow. We’re going to hold a press conference regarding his status as a married man.” Everyone starts to murmur after hearing Pi Cheolin’s strategy. 

“Isn’t it too risky?” Joshua asks.

“It is, everything is too risky at this point, but trust me.” Pi Cheolin squishes Seungcheol’s shoulder lightly. 

Joshua inhales sharply because he knows that he won't be able to sleep soundly for at least a week and the entire PR team will pull an all-nighter.

"Are you serious? What about his reputation? What about us? Are you going to disband us? I don’t want us to disband." Vernon says nonstop. 

“I’m going to retire, that means I’m going to quit the group.” Seungcheol says and Wonwoo scoffs. 

“After all the mess you made, you are going to quit? What about us? What about your so-called family that you left behind? It’s so easy for you to say that." Anger takes over Wonwoo, he walks out from the meeting room. 

“Wonwoo,” Seungcheol wants to run after him but Pi Cheolin keeps him at his seat. 

“Let the man cool off.” Pi Cheolin says to Seungcheol. 

“The most important thing is, we don’t need to worry about anything. The Seungcheol scandal won’t harm the group and everything will work as I imagine. Trust me.” Shiver runs down Seungcheol's spine, he knows Pi Cheolin is a hella good CEO but hearing him solve the problem directly, this is the first time ever. 

"Joshua, you need to start contacting our investors— especially Mr. Yoon Jeonghan. Then contact every brand that endorses and collaborates with Seungcheol. Also contact the media. Get the legal team to work for any threat and malicious comment regarding Seungcheol and his family.” Pi Cheolin starts to list the things to do before the conference press tomorrow. Joshua and his team, busy typing everything Pi Cheolin asks them to do. 

“But, I have a question for you, Seungcheol." Pi Cheolin suddenly asks as he makes his way to his seat. 

Everyone who is busy typing stops mid air and for the first time since Seungcheol entered the meeting room, he lifts his face and looks at Pi Cheolin right in the eyes. 

"The reason I did all of this is because I trust you and your decision, but if everything that I calculate went south, are you going to risk it all? risk everything that you have built this far? fame, money, fans. Are you?" Pi Cheolin takes off his glasses as he asks Seungcheol.

"Yes, everything for my world.” Seungcheol answers without any hesitation.

Seungcheol is sitting on the office park bench alone after the meeting. He is looking at the gloomy sky, it feels like the universe knows about his feelings at the moment. He pulls his phone out from his back pocket, unlocks it and finds a text message from you. 

Is everything okay?  

He sighs hard before pressing the call buttons and by the third ring, you pick up the call. 

"Hey, are you okay?" You ask right away without any greetings, he can hear the concern in your voice. 

As much as he hates to admit it, Seungcheol can’t help it but to talk it out with you. 

"Honestly? No." Seungcheol heard your worry sigh on the other line. 

"I'm sorry, I couldn't be there for you." 

"It wasn't your fault, so there is no need for you to apologize." Seungcheol assures you as he leans back. 

"I know love but I feel sorry because I cannot be there for you."

“You are here with me, on the phone.” A small forceful smile grows on Seungcheol's lips.

"If my reputation is ruined and I don't have any jobs anymore—are you going to leave me?" A chuckle slips from your mouth. 

"Love, why would I leave you? You can be a house husband." You joke, trying to ease the tension that has been building on his shoulder. 

“A house-husband?” Seungcheol echoes, he is laughing now. A genuine laugh that doesn’t last long. 

"Is my baby taking her nap?" Seungcheol asks, after a long pause. 

"Yes, after a long battle, Sena is finally asleep." You stretch your body on the sofa, eyes back on the TV, and watch entertainment news that talk about Seungcheol’s scandal. 

"Seungkwan will pick you up from home to the company, is it okay?" Seunghceol asks you because he just remembered that Pi Cheolin asked him earlier. 

“Yes, Seungkwan called me earlier just before you called me. We’ll be going there after Sena’s nap.” 

You always wonder about Seungcheol’s company, BOMG, The company that’s been like Seungcheol’s second home growing up because he spent most of his youth here. Starting from the bottom until he reaches his peak. 

As you step your foot for the first time in the company, you can’t help but get mesmerized by how big and lavish it is. Seungkwan ushers you and Sena from the back door, getting inside an elevator that goes straight to the seventh floor. Seungkwan hasn’t let go of Sena's hand ever since the little girl got out of the car. 

Seungkwan calls your name, he gives you an assuring smile to let you know that everything is going to be okay. 

You follow Seungkwan who is now picking Sena’s up in his arms walking down the hallway. All eyes are on the three of you and you can’t help but look down because of the sudden embarrassment that takes over you. 

Seungkwan stops in front of a meeting room, he turns to look at you. 

“Here we go.” He pushes the door and the chatter stops immediately. 

“Everyone, this is Mrs. Choi and Choi Seungcheol’s daughter.” Seungkwan announces and everyone in the room greets you politely. 

You bow deeply as a gratitude and apology. 

“Daddy!” Sena wriggles from Seungkwan’s arm that makes Seungkwan put her down gently. Sena runs right away to her daddy and falls into her dad's arms. 

“My baby.” Seungcheol plants a kiss on top of Sena’s head before picking her up. A smile rises from his mouth when Sena’s little hands wrap around his neck, then hide between the crook of Seungcheol’s neck. 

You are sitting beside Seungcheol with Sena on Seungcheol laps, scribbling something in a piece of paper that was given by Wonwoo from earlier. Every eye in the room is focusing on a little girl that is busy in her own world. 

"She really took her mother's features." Vernon says to you with a nod and you thank him. 

"Sena, will you invite me to your third birthday party? Uncle will give you whatever you want." Mingyu says to Sena while waving his hands, trying to get Sena’s attention. 

"Uncle will be your photographer on your third birthday if you invite me." Wonwoo doesn’t want to lose to Mingyu. 

"Uncle will provide any entertainment you want— you can invite all of your friends and uncle will perform a magic trick." Vernon who apparently can’t do a single magic trick trying to steal Sena’s attention and he earns a heavy side eye from Wonwoo and Mingyu

"Sena will send the invites to uncle Wonwoo, uncle Mingyu, and uncle Vernon. So please, bring a lot of pretty gifts for me." Seungcheol says cutely, trying to follow the way Sena talks. The three grown up men roll their eyes. 

"Mama." Sena hands reach out to you still with the pen in her little hand and you pull her to your lap from Seungcheol’s laps. 

"Sena didn't even want to sit on your lap for too long— she probably forgot that you are her father because you are too busy with your work.." Snarky comments come out from Vernon’s mouth. Seungcheol wants to counter Vernon’s comments, he opens his mouth but nothing comes out, so he closes his mouth again. 

The meeting room’s door opens, Pi Cheolin comes in. His sunglasses still sit perfectly in his nose, he walks towards you who already stands up to greet him. He reaches out his hands to you, offers you a hand shake. You shake his hands while introducing yourself. 

"Finally we met." Pi Cheolin takes off his sunglasses and puts it back after. 

“Updates?” Pi Cheolin asks as he takes a seat at the end of the table. 

"Sumi's management already denied the allegation. It's only us now." Joshua reports right away and shows Sumi’s management press release regarding the dating scandal. 

"Our team already contacted the news forum and journalists for our press conference tomorrow.” Joshua continues. 

“Well, let’s hope for the best for tomorrow.” Pi Cheolin throws a wink at Seungcheol before standing up. 

“Before we finish this meeting, Jihoon, the legal team should make sure there will be no harm or false accusation towards the artist and his family. We will protect our artists and their loved ones.” Pi Cheolin remarks before bidding his goodbye. 

“Everything will be fine, love.” You squish Seungcheol's thigh gently. 

“I hope so, love.”

Right after the meeting, Seungkwan takes both you and Sena back to your apartment because Seungcheol’s apartment complex is already full with paparazzi. Seungcheol doesn’t even go home, he is spending the night at the office. 

As you arrive at your apartment, Seungkwan helps you with your belongings because Sena is asleep and refuses to let go of your hug. 

“Thank you, Seungkwan.” You thank him again as you walk him out from your apartment. 

“No worries, that’s my job to keep the three of you safe.” You let out a relief sigh as he pulls you into a hug. 

“I’m going back now, if you find someone that looks suspicious or paparazzi, please contact me right away.” Seungkwan says as he turns around and leaves. 

You lie on your side on the sofa, right hand supporting your head while your other free hand is scrolling on social media. You read some news articles about Seungcheol’s scandal, they talk about how Seungcheol’s management has not dropped any clarification and they are curious about the press conference that will be held tomorrow morning. 

Your phone buzzes and Seungcheol is the one who called you. You pick up the phone and his raspy voice greets you. 

"I miss you." You chuckle after hearing it.

"We literally saw each other an hour ago." You said softly while turning to your left side. 

“So, I can’t miss you even if we just met each other an hour ago?” He asks, pouting his mouth. 

“You can, love and the truth is I miss you too.” You say with a gentle smile but Seungcheol doesn’t response right away, 

"What if everything went south tomorrow? I don't have any jobs left. My savings are all gone because I need to pay the penalty fee. What should I do? I'm afraid." You can sense the fear in his voice. He is anxious. He overthinks.

"Then it's my turn to make a living—I saved up enough for us, well not as much as your income but it will be enough for the three of us. You've been providing us this whole time while I work the whole time. I rarely used my salary because you always said I should save it up. Now my savings can be useful." You tried to assure him but it only made him sigh hard.

"Then I failed as your husband and Sena's dad. I cannot provide you anymore." 

"Love, you remember that you have royalty up to your name right? You can still work as a producer and song writer. You might no longer work in front of the camera but you can work behind the camera—and we never know what will come tomorrow." 

"I wish you were here." He sniffles and you know, he is crying.

"I wish the same, love. I wish I could hug you and tell you everything is gonna be okay." Tears start to build up in your eyes. 

Your distance from Seungcheol is not that far, you are only thirty minutes drive apart but it feels harder than before your marriage. You used to have a long distance relationship with him especially when his group is still actively promoting and doing world tours. One continent to another, one country to another, one city to another; it was hard to schedule a date with him but tonight? It feels harder even though the distance is not far. 

And it breaks your heart more with the actual distance not too far but you need to keep a distance for a while with him until everything settles down. 

You couldn't even sleep properly last night. You are talking with Seungcheol until two in the morning until he falls asleep while listening to you. You glance at the clock and it is almost ten in the morning, which is when Seungcheol's press conference will start soon. 

You put Sena’s down in her play mat and turn on the TV. You switch to one national TV channel who will broadcast Seungcheol’s press conference. The conference room is still empty, the only sound you can hear from the TV is a typing sound and a murmur from the reporter and journalist that come. 

Right at ten o’clock, the side door is open and Seungcheol is wearing a simple black tuxedo. He walks with his head down. His steps are heavy and his shoulder slumps down. His face shows how he is not sleeping properly and his eyes are puffy after crying. He bows deep to the media before he takes a seat. The camera flashes with every step he takes. 

He takes a spot in the center, behind the lecterns that are already full of microphones from news outlets. 

"First of all, thank you to all the media, journalists, and reporters that come today." Seungcheol bows deep once again.

“I am going to clarify about the allegation that has made a stir yesterday, I apologize because of the commotion that happened because of me.” Seungcheol takes a deep breath before continuing. 

“I am not in a relationship with actress Ahn Sumi and I am deeply sorry for not making the clarification sooner and getting a lot of backlash. I am sorry.” Seungcheol bows again. 

“And with that, I’m going to clarify that I, Choi Seungcheol, have indeed tied a knot in a marriage with someone I love and cherish. We also have become a little family of three with the presence of my daughter. I am sorry for hiding them and being a coward for hiding and not showing my love.” Seungcheol takes a moment to adjust his breath and his heart that beats fast. 

“I deeply apologize to everyone who is hurt because of me. To my fans who have always supported me since day one, I am sorry for breaking the trust you have given to me. I am sorry.” Seungcheol bows, deeper and longer.

Your hands clutch the blanket on the sofa because your heart breaks into pieces after seeing the man you love hurting. His eyes are glistening because of the tears in his eyes that can fall at any time.

It is almost midnight when you hear your apartment door unlocked. You get up from the bed, rush to the front and find Seungcheol who is trying to get the shoes off. He doesn’t even notice you at first because his head hangs low. 

"Love?” You call him with a gentle voice. He looks up and he falls right on his knees. You hear a little sob from him that makes your heart wrench.  

"Seungcheol?" You walk to him, get on your knees and pull him into a tight hug. 

You let him cry on your shoulder, you saw him cry before but not like this. He was crying hard, his breath caught in his throat. You didn't make a sound, you just hugged him hard and rubbed his back. Tears flowing down on your face, your heart wrenched seeing the man who always stood tall, broke down in front of you.

You let him cry on your shoulder for as long as you can remember because the numbness on your feet is not comparable with what Seungcheol feels at the moment. 

“Love, let’s move to the couch.” You help him to stand, the man who always looks strong in front of you, who always looks dashing in your eyes is showing another side of him that you never see and you embrace this side tightly.

You help him settle on the couch before making your way to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. You are back and he still gives you a smile, even though it’s a forced one. 

"Seungcheol," You gently take a seat beside him, putting your hands on his hair, giving his messy hair a brush with your fingers. 

"It's over." Seungcheol says as he hugs you.

 You don’t say anything, you just let him hug you and you hug him tighter. 

He is always there for you, he always welcomes you with open arms and now, it is your turn to welcome him with open arms. He always assured you that everything will be okay and now it is your turn to let him know that you have his back and everything will work the way it should be.

"Everything will be fine, honey. Everything will work the way it should be."

You just get an approval from your manager for work from home arrangement for a couple days because urgent matters– the urgent matter is Seungcheol hasn’t come out from the room for a while and you feel anxious about leaving him all by himself. You announce to him that you will be dropping Sena at day care real quick, he kisses the top of Sena’s head and your cheek before going back to lie down in the bed. 

You are back from dropping Sena at daycare and Seungcheol hasn’t moved an inch. 

"Honey, let's eat breakfast." You hug him from the side and he turns around to face you.

"We made you a waffle with a rainbow sprinkle on top of it." You say cutely, trying to cheer him up. 

"Thank you, love." Seungcheol cups the side of your face and strokes your cheek before he pulls himself out from the bed.

Before he takes another step, a heavy sigh is out of his mouth. His steps are heavy as he walks to the bathroom, he is always excited every time you make a waffle with rainbow sprinkle on top and it hurts you to see him in this state. 

Your phone buzzes and you see Seungkwan’s name as the caller but you only stare at it, you don’t answer nor reject it until the call ends. 

"Baby," You run towards Seungcheol who just came out from the bathroom and hug him tight.

"I love you." You whisper before you give him a peck on his lips. 

"Thank you for always loving me. What would I do without you by my side?" Seungcheol hugs you tightly and rests his chin on your shoulder as you stroke his back.

Seungcheol doesn’t check his phone at all, he doesn’t know that Seungkwan has been calling him and you. You respect your husband, so you decide to let him have a moment without any interruption from outside when he is feeling down. 

He eats his breakfast not as cheerful as he used to, he doesn’t even finish it all but he thanked you for making the breakfast extra special for him. 

“I’m going to do chores right now– I’m going to do the dishes,"

You stop him before he can move to the sink.

“I’m going to do the dishes and you just need to sit still.” You push him back to his chair but he shakes his head. 

“I need to get busy.” He forces a smile that wrench your heart.

“Well, you can put the laundry in and fold the dry one.” 

“That’s what I like.” He kisses your lips quickly before making his move to the laundry room. 

You are busy doing the dishes when the doorbell rings, you rinse your hand full of soap and run to the front door. You open the door and are greeted by the angry Jeonghan. 

"Where is that bastard?" Jeonghan's chest rises and falls like he just came after running a marathon. 

"Han, not now." You stop him before he tries to make his way inside.

"I've been calling him since morning— basically everyone is trying to reach him out." He raises his tone. 

You are quite taken aback when Jeonghan raises his voice at you. Jeonghan lets out a frustrated sigh when he realizes he just raised his voice at you.

"I'm sorry but please let me talk to him."

"He is not in a good condition, Han." Your eyes get watery again, remembering your husband broke down in front of you last night.

"I know, we all know. Trust me, okay?" You nod before moving to the side to let Jeonghan come in. 

You gesture to Jeonghan to wait before knocking the laundry room door. 

"Honey, I'm going to the store for a moment." You announce it loud enough for him to hear.

"Okay! Be careful!" He shouts back and you look at Jeonghan briefly before making your way out. 

Seungcheol is busy, more like making himself busy in the laundry room because it helps him to distract all the bad thoughts. The laundry room door opens and Seunghceol turns his head right away, thinking it would be you who comes in but his face turns sour as he sees Jeonghan. 

“What do you want?” Seungcheol looks away. 

"Let's talk, Cheol." Jeonghan steps in and takes a seat on the floor right in front of the dryer and Seungcheol does the same. 

So the two of them sat beside each other in the laundry room while facing the dryer that spun all the clothes inside.

"I already prepared for the worst and I'm going to work behind the scenes as a producer and song writer." Seungcheol says before Jeonghan says anything. 

“Regarding the loss, I think I saved enough for the penalty fee and that should cover all the loss for you and the company.” 

"Probably working in front of the camera is not the best option after all." He tries to choke up a laugh.

“Have you read the news? Most of your fans support you. They know how harsh it was to work as a public figure, especially an Idol. In the span of twenty-four hours, the whole nation couldn’t stop talking about you. Thousands of them hate you for being in love and living your life behind the camera, but millions support you.” Jeonghan says with a little anger, because the man beside him, his best friend, already thought the worst. 

"Joshua gave me a report last night, almost all of the brands that you worked with, only two brands that decided to stop working with you. The penalty fee? You don't need to worry about that. In fact, three brands that target families reached out to work with you; you as their new brand ambassador." Seungcheol looks at Jeonghan in disbelief, like what Jeonghan says is full of nonsense. 

"What a funny world isn't it? You are loved, Seungcheol. People like you, adore you—yet you don't believe in yourself. As your best friend, I was mad. Hella mad when you decide to retire without even talking about it to me– you can talk to me about everything." Jeonghan continued as he put his arm on Seungcheol’s shoulder. 

"I don't know— I don't know if I did the right thing."

“Just believe in yourself, Cheol. Maybe that rumor was your wake up call.” Jeonghan pats Seungcheol's shoulder before getting back on his feet. 

“You have a family that will always welcome you. A beautiful daughter that solely becomes your reason to live and a loving wife that always has your back. Your life? I was jealous of you for living my dream.” Jeonghan chuckles as he stands up. 

Jeonghan’s right hand is already at the door handle but before he pushes the handle down, he turns his head to the side "Give Seungkwan a call, he is going crazy because of you." 

Jeonghan leaves Seungcheol by himself at the laundry room. 

Seungcheol leans his head to the wall, he looks up to the ceiling and inhales sharply before he pushes himself up. He makes his way out from the laundry room to the main bedroom. He takes his phone out from the nightstand and turns it on. Dozens of calls from Seungkwan and Jeonghan, hundreds of messages from people whom he worked with—everyone is worried about him.

It doesn’t take him a long time to call Seungkwan back and he picks it up before the second ring. 

"CHOI SEUNGCHEOL!" Seungkwan shouts and Seungcheol lets out a chuckle after hearing Seungkwan.

"How dare you laugh? I almost lost my mind because of you?" Seungcheol can hear the frustration in Seungkwan’s voice.

"I'm sorry, Seungkwan. I need time." Seungcheol can hear the relief sigh that comes out from Seungkwan mouth on the other line.

"I know but there are so many things that happened and as your friend, I want to let you have all the time for yourself but as your manager, there are dozens of casting calls for you." Seungkwan explains. Seungcheol is quite taken aback because of what Seungkwan just said, he takes a seat on the edge of his bed. 

"I'm going to let them know that you still need time after everything that happened, at least until the end of this week. Is it okay or do you need more time?"

"Sorry, this is a lot to take. Can I talk about it first with my wife?" 

"As your best friend, I want to tell you that you are very lucky to have her as your wife. You have a home to rest when things get hard and your home always welcomes you. I'm glad that you have someone by your side, Cheol." 

At the same time, you walk in without knowing that Seungcheol is talking with Seungkwan on the phone  while holding two bags full of Seungcheol's favorite snack and drink. You retreat when you see him talking on the phone carefully to not make any sound and close the door as quietly as possible.

"I know, Kwan. I'm always thankful that I have her and Sena in my life. And I'm sorry for not thanking you enough for always being there for me, Kwan." Seungcheol indeed owes Seungkwan a lot in his life. Seungkwan is always there on every step he takes. From nothing up until now. 

He owes him. 

"You better tell Pi Cheolin to give me a raise. Call me if you need anything." Seungkwan ends the call abruptly because he doesn’t want Seungcheol to hear him cry.

Seungcheol knows Seungkwan almost cries, which is why he chose to not call him again. Seungcheol locks his phone, tosses it on the bed and heads to the living room. You greet him with a big smile when he gets out of the room. 

"Is that Seungkwan?" You ask as Seungcheol walks towards you.

"Correct." Seungcheol holds your hand and pulls you closer. 

"Are you feeling better?" You loop your arms around his neck.

"I am." He rests both his hands on your waist. 

"Well, I should thank Jeonghan and Seungkwan for making you feel better." You kiss his cheek before walking back to the kitchen but Seungcheol stops you, he holds your wrist.

"I should thank you first." He whispers as he pulls you gently into him until your body touches each other. 

"Oh? And how would you thank me?" You tease him as you look at him right in the eye. 

“Do you want me to explain it step by step or should I just get into it and let you learn it by action?” Seungcheol says seductively in your ears that sends shivers down your spine. 

A month after the press conference, Seungcheol is already booked and busy. He scores a deal with three big brands where their main target is a family. He also gets dozens of casting calls for TV Dramas, exclusive dramas on streaming platforms, and movies. Everything is going better than he expected but he hasn’t accepted all the offers, because he is taking a break for himself and wants to spend more time with his loved ones.

"Good morning, mama!" Seungcheol kisses your cheek when your alarm blares.

"Morning," You greet him back still with your eyes closed. 

He moves his body so he is spooning you, his leg is on top of your thighs, one hand is inside your clothes. His hands are on top of your breast, cupping your breast while kneading it gently and his thumb brushes your nipple, teasing you. You push your back to him more because you know how this morning will end. Your back hits his morning wood and you intentionally wriggle your back— acting like you are adjusting yourself to be in a more comfortable position.

"Baby? What's that?" He whispers in your ears with his husky voice that makes you clench. 

"What? I didn't do anything." You play dumb with him.

"Hm? Is that so?" He moves his thumb slowly against your nipple again, brushing it lightly and giving it a light pinch that makes you hiss because of how good that feels.

"Did you push your ass on me on purpose?" He asks once again as he pinches your nipple harder than before.

"Yes." You answer in a hushed tone, trying to suppress the moan that almost slips from your mouth.

"How naughty." He licks the back of your ear, an action that makes you shiver and mouth agape.

"I need you." You beg him desperately.

"Anything you want, baby."

His hand that you use as a pillow started to play with your clothed nipple and his free hand made his way down to where you need him the most. He teases you while playing with the band of your pajama pants before his hands creep inside. He starts slowly, making you almost lose your mind, he plays with your folds still with your damp panties on, tracing along the line. 

"You are this wet for me? When I haven’t done anything yet to you?” 

"Yes, only for you."

He pushes your panties aside, his index fingers traced your wet folds before finally finding your clit. He rubs his finger slowly around your clit, a moan that you have been holding finally out from your mouth. A smirk grows on his face as he rubs your clit in a circle slowly, teasing you the way he knows how to make you fold for him. Another moan slips out from your mouth and your breath hitch when Seungcheol's leg that rests on top of you, pushes your legs to open more for him.

"Want you." You say breathlessly, hands clutching the bed sheet. 

"Not so fast, baby." He lowers down your pajama pants and your panties before having you bare.

His fingers move like a work of art, you can't help but hide your face on the pillow to muffle your moan. You gasp loudly when Seungcheol starts to push his finger inside you. It starts with one finger until you ask for more and three fingers now buried deep inside you. He knows you like the back of his hands, he knows your spot, so he purposely thrust his finger deeper and curled it. Your moan is a heavenly tune in his ear, he won't stop until you reach your release.

"I'm close." Your eyes are getting watery because of how good you feel and how close you are from his fingers only.

As he draws you closer, he starts to thrust his hips on your back, humping himself behind you to let you know how hard and desperate he is. You cry his name when your walls clenches around his fingers and you let go your first release on his fingers. He pulls his fingers out, sucks and licks them clean.

"What time is it?" You ask him, panting. You roll to the other side, so you face him. 

"We get forty minutes left before Sena wakes up from her sleep." Seungcheol answers as he glances at the clock on the wall. 

"Okay, cowboy. It's time for me to ride you." You push yourself up and unbutton your pajama top one by one, sensually, while keeping your eyes on your husband. He is watching you with lust in his eyes, both his hands rest behind his head. 

You notice how he gulps hard when you make your way to his hard length. You palm his still clothed length making his mouth gape because of how good you make him feel. A satisfied smirk spreads across your face when you see him like that. You pull his pants down slowly without breaking eye contact with him.

"We are running low on time." You say as you position yourself on top of him, before adding with a wink.

"I'm gonna suck you off till you can't even remember your own name later, tonight."

"Whatever you want, baby." He groans as you push down and takes his length full without warning.

that he got this afternoon. 

"I did! but I guess she knows my trick by now." He drops his legs slowly then with the support of his hands he drops to the ground and rests his head on top of your thighs.

"What are you working on, love?" He asks, popping up his head so he can see what you are working on.

“I’m working on my monthly report. I thought I could get it done this afternoon but sometimes you just want to smash your head with a keyboard then your work can’t be finished.” You explain to him and he looks at you confused, which makes you chuckle because he doesn’t understand it. 

"Why would you want to smash your face with a keyboard? Someone is bothering you at work?" He sits straight up, eyes looking at you with all seriousness. 

"I worked on a wrong report all day." A gasp left from Seungcheol’s mouth, he even covers his mouth dramatically and you let out a laugh because of him. 

"Thank you for providing us." He jokes and that makes you laugh a little bit too loud until you cover your mouth, afraid your daughter will wake up because of it.

Seungcheol is still in his hiatus, he is enjoying his day as a house husband. He drops you off at work and drops Sena to daycare every morning. He goes to the gym right after, sometimes he works out with Wonwoo or sometimes he bothers Seungkwan at work. Seungkwan is back at his dusty work desk because of Seungcheol’s hiatus and he always acts that he hates it every time Seungcheol comes, but secretly he loves it because he has excuses to leave his desk.

Seungcheol also realized a new therapeutic thing, which is grocery shopping. He loves grocery shopping so much and you are the one who is stressing out because he kept on buying unnecessary things. He even signed up for a beginner cooking class. He also realized folding clothes was tiring, then he discovered the Marie Kondo method, so he’s been folding that way and most of the time he failed it. He even started to watch afternoon local TV dramas that have the same pattern over and over again, he complained a lot about it but he can’t stop watching it.

But it always warms your heart every time he tells you about his day and his new favorite things to do because he is enjoying his life. His slower pace life. 

Parents in Sena's daycare understand his position as a public figure, so they never asked him or took his photo. Seungcheol even sends Sena to Chan's house for a play date and having lunch over in their house with Chan's mother. Chan's mother is very talkative and Seungcheol will make sure to give her a backstage pass for their concert because it turns out she is a big fan of Wonwoo. She collected Wonwoo's photo card from their group album.

"Should I send Wonwoo to Chan's house to pick up Sena? I mean that would make Chan's mother happy." Seungcheol asks with a spatula in his right hand.

"Don't you think Chan's mother will pass out if that happened?" You ask back while preparing the plates on the dinner table. 

"Right.. but she paid for my coffee, I should pay her back." You laugh at your husband because he’s been thinking how to pay Chan’s mother back because she paid for his coffee this morning.

Seeing him befriended with Chan's mother gives you reassurance, Chan's mother is always sweet towards you and Sena. She even offers to bring Sena to her house when you can't pick her up from daycare on time.

"Maybe, you could give her a signed album." You try to propose a new idea. 

"She has them." Seungcheol sighs while flipping the rolled omelette. 

"Oh, Sena's birthday is coming up— we should invite Chan, then she can meet with Wonwoo there." You say excitedly and Seungcheol claps his hands together.

"Perfect!" He raises his spatula. You giggle and head towards his side to peck his lips.

Seeing your husband living his ordinary life makes you happy, especially since he can still work on his job that he loves. Maybe after his hiatus ends, he won't have that much time to spend with you and Sena, but you know for sure that his family is always his top priority.

Even in front of the cameras that are still rolling, lighting still on, all the spotlight is on him— you know for sure, he is still the same man you married. The man that you vowed in front of his best friends to spend the rest of your life with till death apart.

"Cheol, I love you."

"I love you more, honey." He leans down to kiss you on the lips and when his lips almost touch yours, 

“AND CUT!” The camera stops rolling and Seungcheol backs away with a little smile. 

“THAT IS PERFECT!” The director walks towards Seungcheol while clapping his hands and the assistant director runs to his direction with a bouquet of flowers for him and his co-star. 

“This adaptation will be a big hit!” The director taps Seungcheol's shoulders. 

“I hope so, sir.” Seungcheol says with a big smile. 

“Break for ten minutes then we’re going to take a staff picture, okay?” The director tells Seungcheol.  

“Yes, sir.” Seungcheol bows his head then walks to his green room. His manager gives him his phone before he enters his room. 

He opens the door, sits himself on the couch. His phone rings right after, with a big smile spread across his face he answers the call. 

“My wife! The shoot is officially done!” Seungcheol lies down on the couch, still with his phone attached to his ear. Seungcheol continues to talk with his wife over the phone until a knock on the door interrupts his conversation. His manager’s head poked behind the door, signaling him to go back to the set for a photo session. 

“Love, I need to go now. See you later at home.” 

fin.

[epelletart]

Your theme?? So cute!!!! Do you have any chan or hannie fic recs? Your last fic rec list so AMAZING

hehe, thank uuu!! everything is apple.

so sorry for the late reply anon, here's some of my fic rec list that i've been indulging so far. my personal fav!! but that doesn't mean all of the other fic out there is not good, i just needed to explore more :)

lee chan's fic 🦦:

you've got boba eyes, dude by @wheeboo

c: this one was really fun to read, ngl. the story overall is sooo engaging and really silly. i don’t even like boba, but after reading it, i immediately went to the nearest boba shop near me. thank you so much, because now whenever i see a boba drink at any F&B shop, i instantly think of this fic. hell yeah, they did say love changes you lmfao.

sea salt by @woncheolisms

c: i do not play with this fic. i always come back to this because i'm emotionally attached to selkie! chan.

sweet darling by @bitchlessdino

c: tinkerbell's son!chan x fem!reader x Hook's son!wonwoo. omgomg, mind you i was tweaking the whole time cuz i was on my period that time LMFAOAOAO. i love this one so so much omg, i need more tbh

mind your business by @/bitchlessdino

c: three words. fuck me pls. idc if i sounded desperate because I AM, i needed it so bad, like i'm not even kidding yo.

not-a-date by @quinnhypen

c: meet-cute, i love this one very much.

how did we end up here? by @vernonverse

c: ugh, very cutesy, very hawt and sweet. down bad! chan, i will always love you, peak loserism chan is my favourite genre fr.

lessons in ghost hunting by @seungkw1

c: bruh, when i tell you, this is like the funniest thing i ever read (i read this at 2am instead of doing my research paper) . i can't stop laughing at each of these levels of silliness they have, wdym you found a ghost that was both a douchebag and a homo hater? pick a struggle bro. the beef between the reader and chan is so funny, i'd be mad as hell tbh like tf you mean he got rejected TWICE. thank you sm for doing God's work, ily.

balcony talks by @/maronjeonn

c: this one is from wattpad btw. oc x reader, and they're both neighbours. i was still halfway reading this, and so far it is very engaging, goofy and all. i'm not ready to finish this cuz i know i'd be missing this lololol.

our happy ending by (me hehe)

c: i just recently posted this one, pls give it a try. a bit tragic i would say but hey, i pour out my blood, sweat and tears for this one. shakespeare sunbaemin could nevah.

jeonghan's fic 🪽ᨳଓ

second lead, first choice by @honeyhaeya

c: this fic is so underrated whatttt. the plot twist was just *chef kiss*. i was wondering wth the plot twist was, and it got me gagged frfr.

THE SWEET ESCAPE by @chogiwaw

c: this is a recent fic i read, and i love it so much! i was craving a story that was easy to read because i needed to soothe my mind for a while, and then i stumbled upon this piece. maybe i was a bit too sentimental at the time, but i really love this one.

Operation: Get My Best Friend A Man (Not Me...Right?) by @deekaykaykay

c: THIS ONE IS JUST SO GOOF I LOVE IT SO MUCH LOLOL. oh btw there's like two parts for this one.

Date nights by @orbitondgtl

c: hitman! hannie x hitman! reader. might not be everyone's choice, but personally i love this very much! pls go and give it a chance guys.

Sweetest Salvation by @starlightxsvt

c: please keep in mind that this fic contains dark themes, so read the warnings before starting. personally, i love these kinds of fics that are more plot-heavy and complex. i’ve also written something similar in my jeonghan fic, you can check it out too if you’re looking for something deeper with more complex characters :)

love cafe by @chocosvt

c: omgomgomg. i know i'm pretty much late to discover this masterpiece, this is like the first time ever i keep coming back and reading this again ugh. oh to read it again for the first time.

wrong number by @/marojeonn

c: not from tumblr, i read this on wattpad. keep in mind that this is a smau fic, i haven't finished this one yet cuz the total number of chapters was like 70+ (cuz socmed duhh). so far, it was so fun to read, very very engaging and silly.

starcrossed losers by @/lovelyhan

c: i love this series very much, unfortunately, the author discontinued this story and already left their blog for good :(

liquorice by @gyuhao5

c: are you kidding me? i think this is the best fake dating trope i've ever read. this is so hot and very cutesy. baksuu!!

okay so i think that's all for the fics rec list. don't forget to let me know how it goes, love you all sweet apples sm.

[chogiwaw]

OH MY GOD??? IM ON THE LIST???

[chogiwaw]

THE SWEET ESCAPE - Yoon Jeonghan

pair: boss!jeonghan x f!reader synopsis: after months of chaos, you decided to escape from reality, from your work, from your boss, from your responsibility. an escape to an island all by yourself—well that's why you intend to do until you met jeonghan, the nepo baby. wc: 11k+ songs: the sweet escape by gwen stefani ; folded by kehlani ; greedy - ariana grande ; toxic by britney spears

thank you for my lovely @livmarauder for beta read it<3

You took a deep inhale of a mixture of fresh and salty fresh air that welcomed you as you stepped outside the busy airport. You were supposed to be picked up by your hotel's assigned driver but because of some mixed up, you needed to wait for another hour until he arrived. What a good way to start your sweet escape but no, you were not going to let this simple thing ruin the first day of your long awaited escape from your busy life. Living in a metropolitan city forced you to live your life in a fast environment and it was exhausting. Taking the subway everyday for commuting because it was the cheapest option and you didn't need to get stuck in the middle of a traffic jam—but you were getting squished almost everyday inside the subway.

Working as an accountant was fun at first until you reached your company's peak season where your workloads increased suddenly and your toxic boss still refused to do his job properly and ended up you were the one who worked it. A very annoying coworker because she never listened to you when you explained about the work and you ended up being the one who finished her job. You just wanted to have a week off away from every responsibility you had. So you decided to plan an escape, a sweet escape for you.

You decided to wait for the hotel driver inside a coffee shop and as you entered the shop, you made a u-turn right away. The general manager of your company was there, sitting inside the shop while sipping a glass of espresso.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" You tried to hide your face and moved to the coffee shop next door. You wanted to escape your reality but seeing someone from your work gave you enough stress already.

An hour later, you got a message from the hotel driver that announced he had already arrived at the airport and on his way to the gate. You dragged your big ass luggage to the spot and your general manager was already there. His sunglasses were up on his hair and you couldn't lie that he looked good with a casual outfit—well he looked good with his work attire too but you hate him to the guts inside the office.

The hotel car was approaching and the car stopped right in front of your general manager, you had no choice but to walk there.

"Oh? Mr. Yoon?" You act surprised seeing him there. He looked at you with no expression before gave you a simple smile.

"Vacation, sir?" You asked, attempting to make small talk.

"Yes." He answered quickly.

The driver came out from the car and walked towards you. He asked your name to confirm your identity and then he moved in front of Mr. Yoon—The General Manager or your colleagues loved to call him the nepo baby.

"Mr. Yoon Jeonghan?" Your head snapped to his direction, eyes widening. Why did the driver ask his name? Why did the driver also take his luggage? Why Mr. Yoon opened the back seat and sat there? You stood still, refusing to get inside the car.

"What are you doing? Get in!" Mr. Yoon ordered and you opened the passenger door.

"You can sit in the back, miss." The driver said politely and you shook your head.

"I'm fine sitting in the front." You would rather sit in the front than sit beside Mr. Yoon. You heard him sigh like he felt annoyed.

"Having a vacation sir and miss?" The sweet driver asked.

"Yes, it's been so long since I took a paid leave." You answered politely.

"The two of you know each other?" You didn't answer right away, waiting for Mr. Yoon's answer.

"Sort of." Mr. Yoon answered and you gave the driver a forced smile.

The ride to the hotel was full of chit chat between you and the driver. Mr. Yoon slept the whole time, he didn't bother to join the conversation.

What a jerk, you thought.

The hotel was more like a resort, it was a grand hotel. You spent a quarter of your monthly salary to book six nights in this hotel. You thanked the driver when he helped you with your luggage but Mr. Yoon thanked him and gave him a tip. The bell boy helped bring your luggage inside and the hotel lobby was exquisite.

"Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs., checked in?" The sweet receptionist greeted you.

"Yes!" You happily answer.

"Under whose name miss?"

"Oh, sorry. We're under a different name." You corrected the receptionist to avoid any further misunderstanding.

"Oh no, I'm really sorry." She bowed and you told her that it was fine.

"After you, Mr. Yoon." You gave him a smile and let him check in first. The other receptionist who was done checking in another customer helped you.

You really hate the way you acted and talked around Mr. Yoon. Three hours into your sweet escape, you already walked on egg shells because Mr. Yoon. Your room was on the seventeen floor and your room view is straight to the ocean.

Waiting for the elevator with Mr. Yoon was awkward. You didn't dare to make any sound or breath too loud.

The elevator door opens and you tap your key room so the elevator will go to the seventeen floor. Seeing Mr. Yoon didn't tap him, you assumed that his room was on the same floor as yours.

"You should act like you didn't know me."

"Sorry?"

"We're outside the office, you should act that we didn't know each other at all. So, you should stop acting like I'm your manager and all." As he said that, you dropped the act. The fake smile that you've been putting on since you met him was gone instantly.

If he told you that you shouldn't act like you knew him then his wish was granted immediately. Approved with no question.

When the elevator door opened, you walked out first. You didn't even think about his presence inside the elevator. You followed the sign for room number 1710 and it turns out Mr. Yoon's room number was right next to you, 1709.

You tapped your room card and got inside your room. You squealed when you realized your junior suite was bigger than you expected but you ain't complaining. The bathroom was big, it had a bath tub and shower. The toilet was in a different area so it will stay dry, just what you like. You are basically skipping your way to the balcony. You slid the balcony door and took a deep inhale. The fresh mixed salty air you inhaled through your nose down to your throat and you almost choked when Mr. Yoon was standing on the balcony looking straight at you.

"Hope you won't make too much noise, neighbor." He scoffed at you.

"Oh, don't worry, neighbor. I will make sure you hear everything I do." You walked away after replying to his nasty comment.

Yoon Jeonghan was your office nepo baby. His grandfather was the founder of the construction company that you work in, his father was working as a CEO at your current company. His first day successfully caused a scene because everyone thought the General Manager was someone in their fifties. And turns out the new GM was a handsome looking man in his thirties.

But he was a jerk and he always complained about office spending which is your division job to manage the cash flow. Your office spending was normal, but he always commented about little things like office recreation events or snacks at the pantry.

Stingy nepo baby.

"Hello," You greeted the waiting staff in front of the hotel restaurant.

"Evening, miss. May I see your voucher for tonight's buffet?" You gave the waiting staff your voucher and someone behind you coughed. You turned around and Mr. Yoon gave you a very annoying smug smile. 

"Enjoy your dinner miss." You thanked the waiting staff and entered the restaurant.

As you walked in your eyes scanned the whole variety of buffet the restaurant offers. Of course, you went straight to the seafood buffet first. Crab legs, shrimp, lobster, oyster—as you considered what to get, Mr. Yoon stood beside you, he looked at you like he was judging you. So, you gave him the same attitude. He was so annoying–both inside the office and outside the office. 

Mind you, he was the one who suggested that you act like you didn’t know him at all, but how could you do it when he was literally everywhere around you?

"Excuse me." You walked past the man.

You took a seat at a table by the window, eating a delicious buffet with a great view. It gave you a satisfying feeling, after all it was a sweet escape indeed. After days of working late in the office, eating cup noodles or convenience stores, you finally eat something that you deserved except the stingy nepo baby decided to sit on the table right next to yours.

Comparing his plate and yours, you got a sudden embarrassment because you took a lot of things, like a lot. Well, this was not an opportunity that occurs often. You shrugged at the sight and continued devouring all kinds of mouthwatering sea creatures that had been served on your plate. 

You made your way to the Italian dish after finishing with your seafood plate. Your mouth watery when you saw what they had with the Italian menu. A slice of margherita pizza, a plate of fettucine carbonara, some cold slices and cheese. 

"You should tone it down or you will get digestion." Mr. Yoon mumbled when he was near you.

"Thank you for your concern." You nod your head just a little before going back to your seat.

It's almost nine when you are done with your desert. Mr. Yoon on the next table had already finished his food but he sat still at his table. You could barely move because you were feeling too full. You let out a satisfied sigh before forcing yourself to get up from your seat. You thanked the staff and decided to take a walk along the beach to digest your meal.

It was too windy for your liking but when will you get a chance to enjoy the night by the beach? There were couples who were sitting and giggling, some took photos together, some just enjoyed the night. You unlocked your phone and opened your camera. You took a photo of the beach and took a selfie—you were clearly aware that you were bad at taking photos so all of your selfie ended up inside the deleted album.

"Want me to take your picture?" Mr. Yoon stood in front of you, offering to take your photo.

You hesitated at first but you wanted to make memories, so you handed him your phone. You were posing awkwardly that made him judge you with his eyes. This stingy nepo baby started to get into your nerves. It felt like everything you did was wrong in his eyes or maybe you should just poked his eyes and said oops, sorry.

"I don't know what to do." You said honestly. He didn't make any comments after that, he just took your pictures– you didn’t even know if he took them correctly or not. He kept clicked the button–shuttering it like he didn’t 

"Thank you, sir." You thanked him as he handed your phone.

"Do you want me to take your picture?" You offered, he nodded but he didn't give you his phone. So, you took his picture with your phone. He was natural in front of the camera, he was posing in front of the camera like it was his job. The poses were simple but the picture came out beautiful—perks of being photogenic.

The night ended with you walking back to your room with Mr. Yoon in silence. You didn't make small talk with him and neither did he. You turned to face him when you arrived at the front of your door.

"Good night, sir." You bowed but when he called your name, you stop pushing your door midway.

"Don't call me sir, I'm not your boss right now." You smiled at him.

"Well, good night, Jeonghan."

You woke up in the morning feeling refreshed. No alarm sounds, no rush because you woke up late, no worries about what to wear for the day. You slid your balcony door, the sunlight greeted you with her warmth.

"Good morning." Jeonghan greeted you, newspaper in his hand, a glass of coffee on the table.

"Morning." You greeted back while brushing your hair with your empty hand, trying to make yourself look decent.

"Seems like you had a good sleep."

"I am and I believe you had a good one too." He scoffed like he didn't believe what you just said.

"Why did you scoff? Bad night?"

"Why did you ask like you care?"

Sassy nepo baby.

"I'm just asking—I shouldn't have asked first hand." You get inside your room getting ready for breakfast.

This afternoon you wanted to go read your long forgotten novel that you bought a year ago by the beach. Sunnies up your nose, your bikini that you bought two years ago finally you put it on, an oversized shirt that you bought last week for this special occasion you used as a cover. You made your way out when you met Jeonghan again.

"To the beach?" He asked.

"Yes, and didn't you tell me to act like I didn't know you?" 

"Yes, and?" He crooked his head to the side.

"Please stop talking with me. People might think you are obsessed with me."

"As if."

You put your belongings on top of the deck chair. You laid out your towel and took off your shirt. You lie down on top of the deck with a novel in your hand. Jeonghan laid himself on the deck chair beside you and you paid him no attention.

Everything was going well until your phone rang. Your boss was calling and you groaned. You put your phone on silent but he was calling you again.

"I think you should answer that call." Jeonghan chirped in.

"It's a work call—it's only the second day fuck." You cursed, still refused to answer the call.

"Well, you are on leave and answering that call is not your obligation."

"I know, it's just—ugh." You answered the call and you were back on your professional mode.

"I already reported it to you last Friday before my leave. I already sent it to your email."

"Hello? Hello? My signal is gone—" you ended the call.

"He told me to send the report again while I already sent it last friday to his email. He didn't even bother to check his email first." You grumbled to Jeonghan.

"Well, you shouldn't have answered in the first place."

"I'm putting it on DND."

"You should have put it on since the very first time you set foot here." He put his sunnies back again.

That night you were going to eat out, you found a cute restaurant not too far from the beach and you were thinking about going to the bar near the restaurant.

"Is it okay if you sit with another person? Because our table is full at the moment." The waitress asked.

"Yeah, sure!" The waitress ushered you to the table and of course, you were seated with Jeonghan.

"Please wait for the menu." The waitress excused herself and you took a seat in front of him.

"What are you doing after this?" No hello, no small talk, just straight to the point.

"Why?" You asked.

"Drink with me. There's this bar not too far from here."

"Why should I?"

"I'll pay."

"No, why should I drink with you?" You were being annoying and you knew it—that was your intention all along.

"I feel lonely and I don't like to drink alone." A grin spread across your face when he admitted it.

"Fine, because Mr. Yoon asked me to and you will pay." You winked at him and he rolled his eyes.

The bar was quite packed despite it being a weekday. Most locals were the ones who came, some still wore their work attire, some just sat there to wind down. You and Jeonghan were sitting beside each other at the bar, you ordered a negroni and Jeonghan ordered a whiskey, neat.

"Why do people in the office call me stingy?" The question successfully made you laugh—snorted even.

"Are you seriously asking me about that?" You tried to hold your laughter when Jeonghan looked at you with all seriousness on his face.

"Well, every time we had town hall—your reaction when we talked about office recreation always showed disapprovement."

"I'm not?"

"Oh, you so are and it's not only about office recreation, it's also about snacks in the pantry." His face showed how hurt he was, he even drank his remaining whiskey in one shot.

"Hey, can I get another one?" He asked the bartender.

"Do you want another one?" He asked you, his tone was softer now.

"Martini, thank you." You thanked the bartender who winked at you.

"I just don't like the snacks in the pantry. Like, you guys can do better for the snacks. Buy something more expensive." He seems frustrated that made you laugh even more.

Maybe it was the vibes that made him look more– humanly. He was too cold in the office, too stoic. He rarely smiled. He never joined the unofficial company dinner. But tonight he was different, he didn't wear his fancy ass shirt and suits. He wore an oversized tee with jeans and sandals. His hair wasn't slicked back, he let his hair loose.

"Why are you laughing so much? Are you drunk already?" He crooked his head to the side with a little smirk spread on his face.

"Please, it's only the beginning and you should try to laugh more." He did a fake laugh that failed miserably and it made you laugh even more. He realized how dumb it was, he laughed too.

A real one.

"You know, you should laugh more or smile more, bet people in the office will hate you less." You teased him.

"Nah, I'm afraid they will like me too much if I’m being too friendly." The corner of his lips making a little curve, he was smiling and it made you drink your martini a little bit too fast then it should because your heart suddenly raced. 

Must be the alcohol work, you thought. 

Maybe the alcohol started to take over a little part of your brain because you thought that he looked handsome and real. For the record, you always thought that Jeonghan was handsome but tonight it was different. You just discovered a new side about him that probably people in the office will never discover at all. He was attractive tonight. He was real. He’s just a human, like you. 

That's the alcohol talking when you keep thinking about his attractiveness after your fourth glass of cocktails. He started to laugh even more than before, he was on his fifth glass of whiskey. You caught him staring at your lips for a second when you were talking, it made you stop mid sentences. He didn’t even look away when you caught him staring at your lips. 

"Did you just—never mind." 

"What? Stare at your lips?" You parted your lips but nothing came out from your mouth. He leaned in and it made you nervous.

"Mr. Yoon?" You murmured.

"Jeonghan, call me by my name." His eyes never leave yours when he says it firmly.

"Jeonghan?"

"Can I kiss you?" He asked softly. There was no pressure in his tone, so you didn't answer him. You just grabbed his by the collar and pulled him into a kiss. He froze for a second before taking control. He grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you to deepen the kiss. It was fast, messy, raw, and hot.

Who would have thought the stingy nepo baby boss in your office was good at kissing? He was damn good. He was just kissing you and you were sent straight to cloud nine. 

The kiss ended because you needed a proper air to breath, you were panting and he was too. Your lips swelled and his too. Your eyes were full of desire and he was more. He paid for the drink and called a taxi for the two of you. In the back seat? He basically was devouring you like a cave man. He didn't even look when he paid the taxi driver, it was probably more than he should, but boy did he care about money when your lips were more important than everything at that moment?

The silence while waiting for the elevator was too thick and when the elevator door opened, the two of you got in. Two seconds after the door closed, Jeonghan was back kissing you. He pressed you against the elevator wall, his hand was stroking your waist before he dragged his hands to trace your figure. He was making you dizzy and eager for more because the wetness down there can compete with the beach out there.

The elevator door opened and the two of you broke away and acted like nothing happened. As you walk to your room, you can feel Jeonghan's eyes on your back the whole time, like he was stripping you with his eyes. You stood in front of your door for a moment before giving him a wry smile, you wanted to invite him to your room but it was too fast and you were not a really one time person.

But this was a sweet escape, what happened here, stayed in here right?

Jeonghan stood in front of his door, hands in his pocket, eyes on you.

"Jeonghan, do you want to come in?" A smirk grew across his face, like he was waiting for the invite the whole time. As he took steps and stood in front of you, you put your hands on his chest, rubbed your thumbs slowly and sensually on his broad chest.

"What happened here, stay here, right?" You tiptoed and whispered in his ear. 

"Right." Before he grabbed the side of your face and kissed you fool. 

Jeonghan snatched the key card from you because you kept failing to open the damn door. As the door opened, Jeonghan pushed you inside and kissed you again. His hands were everywhere for a moment before he rested it on your ass and gave it a squish that made you moan. Your hands were greedy to take off his clothes, you wanted to feel him bare. You wanted to taste him, bare and raw. 

"Patient, baby." He whispered before trailing kisses down from your mouth to your jaw.

"Wrong person, Han." You said between moans.

"Well, I should teach you how to be patient."

Your body was sore all over, it's been so long since you had sex. You broke up two years ago and you have not had sex properly like last night with Jeonghan. For two years, it was always you, your fingers, and your little toy.

Jeonghan was still asleep, he was hovering you until you couldn't even move. Your throat needed water because it was too dry after everything happened last night. You wriggled your way out but Jeonghan tightened his hugs around you.

"Jeonghan, let me go." You said softly.

"Hmm?" He hummed.

"I really need to drink."

"Can you do it real quick? I need a morning cuddle."

You ran to get water and drank almost a bottle. You were wearing an oversized Jeonghan’s tee from last night. As you drink, Jeonghan never leaves his eyes on you. So when you crawled back to bed, he caught you instantly. You were trapped between him and you didn't complain a bit. Because what to complain when you loved being under him? Well, you loved to be on top of him too—you discovered that last night.

"You said you wanted a morning cuddle—what's with this position?" You teased him.

"I changed my mind."

You missed the breakfast buffet when you finished doing the deed with Jeonghan. You decided to have brunch in a cafe and strolled around the city. Your itinerary for the day started a little bit late– not a little, it started almost three hours late and you had one guest that followed you.

"After brunch and strolling around, what's next?" Jeonghan asked after he sipped his iced latte.

"I'm going to swim, play by the beach and catch the sunset."

"Dinner?"

"Hotel's buffet."

"Good idea."

Surprisingly, talking with Jeonghan while sober was fun. He talked a lot about his private life, something you will never discover if you were talking with him inside the office. He was the oldest and he had one younger sister. He graduated from the top university in the country and his master's abroad. Actually he wasn't supposed to work in his father's company, he should be working under his mother's family company but his father told him to work on the construction company instead as general manager.

"What about your real dream? If you had the freedom to choose your work, what would that be?" You asked out of curiosity.

He inhaled sharply and thought about your question for a moment. 

"I wanted to be a doctor. That's been my dream since I was a kid. I applied for pre-med when I was a senior in high school, and was accepted." He was smiling but it was a forced one.

"I didn't even dare to talk about it with my parents." He continued.

"Enough about me, what about you?"

"Me?" You pointed at yourself.

"I used to dream of being a chef, a pastry chef." You chuckled at yourself, the dream that you buried deep when you realized that it was unrealistically for you and your family.

"You look like someone who can't bake." He teased you.

"And you don't look like someone who is a general manager of one of the biggest construction companies in the country." He chuckled at your return.

"But do you still bake?"

"I do but not that often and I baked something easy."

"I love brownies."

"What's that mean?" You asked him, playing fool.

"Nothing, I just said it." You chuckled at his response.

Strolling around the city with Jeonghan was fun. The two of you rented a motorbike and of course you were the one who drove it. You took a lot of his photos and he did the same. Everything was fun and that night, you slept in your own room, on your own.

By the fourth day, you didn't meet Jeonghan at all. You knocked on his door, you called his name by the balcony, no answer. So, you thought he was going somewhere and you were not going to email him, with your work mail just to ask his whereabouts.

You spent your fourth day in the resort because you signed up for their full day activity. You joined a morning yoga class and surfed lesson, lunch in the hotel, snorkeling, and the highlight was spa. The spa took around three hours to finish. By the end of your spa session, it was dinner time. You met Jeonghan in a hotel restaurant but something about him changed.

The smile in his eyes was gone.

The playful side of him, gone.

"Hey," You greeted him and he only gave you a thin smile.

"Are you okay?" You took a seat in front of him naturally.

"Yeah, I have something important to do today." He answered but you're not going to ask further.

"I'm done with my dinner, I'm going back to my room first." He excused himself, leaving you high and dry.

That night someone knocked on your room door and rang your room bell. You dragged yourself out from your bed and took a look at the peephole, Jeonghan was out there. You unlocked the door and Jeonghan hugged you immediately. His breath was heavy, like someone just chased after him. His hands trembled a little.

"Are you okay?" You asked and he shook his head.

You ushered him inside and he took a seat on the couch. You gave him a glass of water but he refused to drink it, he pulled you into his lap, wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and you let him.

"Bad dream?" You gently asked while gently stroking his head gently. 

"Yeah." He murmured on your shoulder.

You didn't want to prey on him, so you just hugged him tighter and you whispered to him that everything will be fine. 

Sleeping next to Jeonghan was comforting. He didn’t let go of you when he tried to sleep. You kept playing with his hair, brushing his hair with your fingers until he eventually fell asleep.

You woke up in the morning feeling empty and cold, no sign of Jeonghan at all. You rushed to the balcony and called his name but no answer. You went out and the housekeeping was unlocking Jeonghan's door.

"Sorry, did the man from this room already check out?" You asked.

"Yes, he checked out early this morning." The housekeeping answered and your heart dropped.

He left you without saying goodbye.

It was Monday morning all over again but you woke up earlier than your alarm. Feeling giddy to go to work. You brushed your hair while humming, preparing your work bag and pulling out a food container from the fridge. It was a brownie you made on Sunday night. 

You made enough for the people in your floor and enough for Jeonghan. Well, technically you made it for Jeonghan. He was on your mind all the time you made the brownies. Smiles spread across your face on the way to the office and when you clocked in. You decided to keep the brownie in the pantry fridge for people to eat it after lunch as dessert. Greeting your coworker who came one by one and asked you about your holiday until your eyes caught Jeonghan.

He was wearing all black formal clothes, very typical of him. Hair slicked back. He didn't smile, just gave a nod to everyone who greeted him. You wanted to come up to him, asking him about his weekend and the reason he left without telling you but you just can't bring yourself to do it. His eyes caught yours for a mere second but he turned his head immediately, like he was avoiding you then he entered his room and closed the window.

"Good morning." Soonyoung, one of the best architecture in your office, greeted you.

"Morning," You greeted back.

"Hows your vacation? Was it good?"

"It was! I love the beach there and the hotel you recommended was chef kiss." Soonyoung was giving you a list of hotels when you told him you were going to spend your week off there.

"Glad you love the hotel—anyway, got plans for lunch?"

"No, I don't have any plans for lunch, why?"

"There's this new cutlet restaurant—"

"Just asked her to eat with you, Soonyoung." Seungkwan cut Soonyoung mid sentences.

"Ah, okay. Let's go." You agreed.

"Okay, see you at lunch." He dragged Seungkwan on his way to his desk.

It was almost ten when you decided to make yourself a cup of coffee and when you entered the pantry, Jeonghan was there standing leaning against the coffee table while waiting for his coffee to be ready from the coffee machine. He noticed you but he didn't say anything, the only thing he did was give you a simple nod. He acted like he didn't know you at all, like you never existed in his life. Like he forgot last week, he was praising you all night long, calling you all names you can't even remember while saying how good you taste.

"Sir," You called him before he walked away from the pantry with his coffee.

"Yes?"

"I baked brownies, do you want some?" His eyes wavered before giving you a thin smile.

"I'll pass, thank you." He left and he was back to Mr. Yoon. He was no longer the Yoon Jeonghan that you knew last week. He’s back to Mr. Yoon.

"Oh? Morning, sir!" Soonyoung greeted Mr. Yoon.

"Did you bake brownies?" Soonyoung asked enthusiastically towards you and Jeonghan stopped at his track.

"Yes, do you want some? I thought about sharing it with others after lunch but I think right now is perfect. Brownie and a cup of coffee to kick the day." You offered the brownie to Soonyoung and he took one piece happily. 

He took a bite and moaned immediately, showing how good the brownie was.

"Can I take another piece? Like Seungkwan share?" You laughed at Soonyoung and you noticed Mr. Yoon was still in the pantry.

"Mr. Yoon, you should try her brownie. It is so good." Soonyoung showed him the second piece of brownie he just ate.

"Ah, thank you." Mr. Yoon finally left the pantry, leaving you and Soonyoung in the pantry.

"I never knew that you baked." Soonyoung was already on his third.

"I baked occasionally.” You chuckled at the sight of Soonyoung ate the brownies like it was his last meal on earth

“And just for your information, I don't eat anyone else's share. The first one was mine, the second one was Seungkwan, and this last piece was Mr. Yoon." You chuckled at Soonyoung.

"I will bake it specially for you next time."

"Really? It will be my pleasure to accept it."

Soonyoung helped you to announce to your colleagues that you baked brownie and it was in the pantry. People started to come into the pantry and thanked you in person. Some even messaged you privately in slack saying how good your brownie was. By lunch time, your food container was left with two pieces of brownie. You were thinking about giving it to Soonyoung and ate the other one. You turned around and met with Mr. Yoon. He was holding his coffee cup, probably going for his second cup of the day. You didn't even acknowledge his presence, just walked past him when he called your name.

"Is there any brownie left?" He asked softly, made you stop at your track.

"Yeah, there's one left. Here." You opened the food container and let him take the last piece.

"Thank you."

"No worries, sir." You left him there. Your steps felt heavy when you left him, but you remembered; what happened there, stayed there. So you and him were back to normal again, you worked in finance and he was your general manager.

Friday rolled too fast and you can't even enjoy your Friday night. It was almost eight in the evening and you were still at your desk. Spread sheets were blasting it lights on your monitor as you sighed probably for the twentieth time for the last hour. Dinner? don't think about it, your work was more important than anything at the moment—that was what you thought while you gaslight yourself. You couldn't help but groan when your stomach grumbled again.

You might have punched your monitor any minute now, so you decided to microwave instant oatmeal. The lights on Mr. Yoon's office was still on, he probably had over time like you or he just forgot to turn off his lights. As you waited for your instant oatmeal finished, you heard footsteps that walked towards the pantry. Your heart raced a little because deep down you were afraid that someone bad came after you but it was Mr. Yoon. His top shirt button was already undone, hair was messier, and he was looking more tired.

"Working late?" He asked and he still held his empty coffee cup—if that cup can scream, it probably screamed by the fourth refill.

"Yes, working on a report." You said half truthfully. You were working on a report? That was true, but it wasn't your report. It was your boss and he needed it by Monday morning before the monthly meeting started.

"Sir, I don't think you should refill your coffee again." He looked at you for a moment before he let out a low chuckle.

"What makes you think I'm refilling my coffee?" He crossed his arms after putting down the mug on the sink.

"Well, you seem addicted to coffee and it's almost eight."

"I'm not addicted, I just need the caffeine kick to do my endless work."

"Well, ain't that basically the same?" The microwave beeped, you turned your attention to the microwave. You took a kitchen towel to take out your instant oatmeal.

"Instant oatmeal as your dinner?" He asked, which sounds more like he was mocking your dinner.

"Yes, because this is my girl dinner and I need to get back to my desk and finish up. Have a good night, sir." You excused yourself and went back to your desk.

As you sat on your desk, you stole glances from time to time at Mr. Yoon's office and the lights were off at his office, which means he already finished his work. Your head started to hurt after hours of looking at the variety of numbers on your spreadsheet and as you wrapped your boss reports, you found Mr. Yoon's office lights on for a moment before it was dark again.

You shrugged it off and tidied up your belongings. You ran to the toilet quickly and when you were back to your desk, Mr. Yoon was there—sitting in your desk chair while looking at photos that you stuck on your partition.

"Sir?" You called him.

"Are you done?" He asked as he got up from your seat.

"Yes?" You were confused because of what he meant by that.

"Let's go then." You looked at him because you didn't catch what he meant—no, you caught what he meant, but it was confusing for you. He acted like he didn't know you for a whole week and he waited for you?

"I'm sorry?"

"Apology accepted." He took your bag and walked right away.

"Sir? Mr. Yoon?" You called him as you ran to catch up with him.

"Why are you calling me that again?" He asked.

"With all due respect, what do you mean by that, sir?"

"It's way past work hour, you should call me by my name." The elevator door opened and as you stepped in, you looked at him in disbelief.

"No, I'm not going to call you by your name, sir. And please, give me my bag." You tried to snatch your bag but Jeonghan hugged your bag tightly. You looked him dead in the eye and demanded your bag back but he didn't let go of your bag.

The elevator door was open on the ground floor and you stepped out from the elevator.

"Give me back my bag, please. I'm too tired to argue." You begged at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan noticed how tired you are, he just wanted to cheer you up but he probably took it too far. He held himself for a whole week and acted like the two of you didn't share a meaningful night—at least it was a meaningful night for him. He still remembers how you tasted from last week, he seems like he can't get you out of his mind.

"Sorry." He apologized as he handed your bag.

"Good night, sir." You bowed and left him there.

"Y/N!" He chased after you and stood in front of you, stopping you from walking away.

"Just let me take you home." You didn't argue and agreed to him. After all, you were tired after all the work you had done and having someone drive you right to your apartment without the need to spend money to pay him was enough reason to let him drive you.

You followed him to the basement, to his assigned parking spot. His car is neither fancy or flashy but by the brand of the car, you knew his car costs a fortune.

"I'm sorry, I left without telling you." He apologized as soon as his car door locked. 

"You had your reason and it was fine. Remember? What happened there, stayed there. So, you don't need to worry about anything, sir." He stopped at the red light and he turned at you.

"Stop calling me, sir." His tone was firm.

"What should I call you then? You are my boss's boss after all."

"Y/N," He called your name softly.

"Sir, can you just drive or you can drop me off at the next subway station." You dismissed him.

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. Remember—"

"I know but I just can't forget it. I can't forget you even if I want to." You didn't respond to it. You chose to stay quiet the entire time unless he asked you the directions.

"You can drop me off there." You told Jeonghan.

"No, it's late." He refused.

"It's not that far, I can walk by myself."

"And I won't let you walk all by yourself, at least let me walk you."

"Sir, I appreciate your concern but I'm fine." Jeonghan parked his car on the side of the road.

"I don't want something bad to happen with my subordinate, so let me walk you home and I don't take no as an answer." You sighed and gave up. You got out of his car and he walked with you.

"Let me carry that." He snitched the bag from your hand and held it.

"I was visiting my best friend's grave on Thursday, that's why we didn't meet at all." You didn't want to react to it nor ask him anything, so you just listened to whatever he said.

"She died ten years ago because of cancer and she was my first love." Hearing the words first love, you can't help but steal a glance at him. His face showed how hurt he was, like it happened just yesterday.

"That night, I had a bad dream and it always happened every time I visited her. I'm really thankful you were there and welcomed me with open arms and no question."

"That morning when I woke up with you in my arms, all curled up and being comfortable in my arms, made my heart ache because I haven't finished it completely with the ghost of my past. So, I left you that morning. I'm sorry." He continued.

You wanted to scream, hit him and cursed him but you can't bring yourself to do it. You were hurting that morning, you were hurting all week because he acted like the two of you never shared beautiful memories. You were the one who said it, what happened there, stayed there. But you can't. You can't help but remember every sweet memory you made with him. You can't bring yourself to hate him, to forget him.

"It took me years to realize that I'm in love with her, but you only need three days to drown me in your life and I can't let go of you."

It's been a month since the night Jeonghan confessed what he feels towards you and it's been a month since you avoided him at all costs in the office but you can't avoid him today because it was your quarterly town hall. You were sitting at the assigned table for the finance division, you tried to take the further seat but your boss told you to sit beside him which made you face him from the opposite table.

Your eyes met his, he didn't look away and for a moment, you locked your eyes with him before you turned your gaze to the speaker on the front.

It was your division's turn to present about cash flow from last quarter and budget for the next quarter. You were helping your boss in the front to present some of the materials that you handled. As you were presenting, you can’t help but notice how Jeonghan's eyes were on you for the entire time.

It was lunch time and everyone started to scatter their way out after finishing their lunch, wanting to wind down after three hours of listening to other presentations non stop. You did the same, you wanted to go to the cafe in your office building lobby. The elevator was packed and you were separated from Seungkwan and Soonyoung.

"Where are you going?" Jeonghan suddenly appeared on your right.

"We're going to the cafe in the lobby, sir." You answered, trying to sound professional.

"Are you going to join tonight's dinner?" He asked.

As much as you hate company dinners after town hall, you need to show up for your team. At least someone beside your boss needs to show up and you won't let your subordinate that was younger than you become the target of those bastards when they were drunk.

"Yes, sir." You answered and let him enter the elevator first.

People started to swarm in and you were getting pushed to the back corner with Jeonghan facing you. You were so close to him, you could smell his cologne. You didn't dare to look up because you knew he was looking down at you.

Your heart raced for being this close with him and you cursed yourself for being nervous when you were close to him. You can't keep lying to yourself that you didn’t have any feelings for him.

As the elevator door opened in the lobby, you rushed your way out, leaving Jeonghan behind. You found Seungkwan and Soonyoung in front of the cafe, you ran to their side.

"Mr. Yoon is behind you." Seungkwan whispered.

"Going for a coffee, sir?" Seungkwan gave Jeonghan a sheepish smile.

"Yeah, three of you too?"

"Yes, sir. We need a caffeine boost." Soonyoung chirped in.

"Well, it's my treat then."

Sitting with Seungkwan and Soonyoung was always fun because you found it amusing, the two of them always had something to bicker or beefing towards each other but with Jeonghan at the same table, those two kept their mouths shut and sat still on their best behavior.

"Well, are you going to join tonight's dinner?" Jeonghan asked, trying to lessen the awkwardness.

"I'm not, sir. I already have plans with my family, it's my sister birthday." Seungkwan lied through his teeth. Both you and Soonyoung knew this man would spend his Friday night in a court—either it's a badminton court or volleyball court.

"I'm going to pass tonight’s company dinner, sir." Soonyoung said honestly.

"So, you are all alone?" Jeonghan asked you.

"Me? I'm not alone. Mr. Park will join tonight's dinner." You said.

"He means that you will be alone without us, you fool." Seungkwan said to you and gave an apologetic smile to Jeonghan.

"You can call me if you want me to pick you up or if you are too drunk." Soonyoung offered.

Before you could respond to Soonyoung, Jeonghan opened his mouth first.

"No worries, I'll be there too. I'm going to make sure your friend here will be safe and sound." Jeonghan smiled at you.

"Thank you, sir." Seungkwan bowed dramatically to Jeonghan, earning a chuckle from Jeonghan.

All the predictions that you made this afternoon were right. After the town hall ended, almost everyone moved to a restaurant not too far from your office that has been booked by HR. People started to get too loud by the second round of alcohol order. You were still sitting at your table with your boss who started to say nonsense things. You sat with people from another division that looked as uncomfortable as you, especially Jihoon from legal.

"I think we can run on their third order." Jihoon whispered to you.

"I can't agree no more." You said as you drank your second beer of the night.

The only alcohol you drank that night was beer, your boss gave you soju and other alcoholic drinks but you refused to drink it. You threw all the excuses you could think of until he gave up and drank it on his own. This was the reason you chose to be the one who joined the company dinner, you can refuse them but the younger one won't be able to do it.

"You should drink more—one shot." Your boss still tried his luck and slid a glass of soju to you.

"I can't, I have morning yoga class. I have told you numerous times." You slid the glass back to his side.

"One glass, only this one shot and I won't ask you to drink anything else tonight." He slid it back to you. 

He kept pushing you to drink it, Jihoon looked at you with concern. You sighed and as your hand reached the glass–defeated, someone else took the glass and drank it right away.

Of course, it was Jeonghan.

"Oh my! Mr. Yoon!" Your boss stood immediately and raised his glass.

"No need to be so formal with me. Please, please, sit comfortably." Jeonghan said, acting cheerfully.

Jeonghan pulled the empty chair beside you and sat on it. You tried to distract yourself from him whose face was already red because of alcohol. You made a conversation with Jihoon who seems didn't give a shit with whatever nonsense you spout. Jeonghan gave you a signal to get out of there while he was talking with your boss. You got the signal immediately and started to act uneasy for a minute. You took your bag and excused yourself to the bathroom.

You were waiting for Jihoon at the front but someone you didn't want to meet the most was the one who came out from the restaurant.

"Let me take you home." He said softly as he stood in front of you.

"No need, sir." You refused politely.

"Then you should take me home." Jeonghan murmured before he walked closer to you and rested his head on your shoulder.

Your heart was racing and you hated yourself for that. You called the waiting taxi and helped Jeonghan to get inside. You asked him for his address but he didn't say a thing, he only snuggled into you more and slept on your shoulder. You had no choice but to bring him to your home.

Jeonghan was sleeping soundly on the way to your home while you were busy with your own thoughts. You reached your apartment in no time, as you paid the taxi driver, you dragged Jeonghan out. Dragging him to your house was so hard. The man might look skinny but he was surely heavy for you.

You tossed him on your couch. You didn't even bother to adjust his position to be more comfortable. You took a shower and when you finished, the man was already up from his sleep. He was looking outside from your balcony and he turned around when he saw your reflection from the window.

"Can we talk?" He asked softly.

Jeonghan's eyes were hazy, his shoulders dropped.

"Sir, with all due respect, please go to your home if you are already feeling sober." You said it firmly. Both your hands were clutching the side of your pants, to ease the uneasy feeling you felt.

“You are my home.” He said, sound defeated.

You wanted to run to him.

You wanted to hug him.

You wanted him.

"Please, give me a chance." He dropped to his knees. He was begging for you.

"Sir, please get out of my house if you are sober enough."

"Please." He begged.

"Han," You called him softly.

"I can't be with someone who is not done with his past." You continued, trying to hold back the tears.

"I'm done with my past. I am done. You are the only one I want. You are the only one I could think of."

"You are the only one I need."

All the walls you built, shattered at that moment.

"Han," You walked towards him.

"Get up.” You continued

He looked up to you, his eyes were watery. You gave him a tender smile and helped him to get back on his feet.

"You are still and always be my sweet escape, Han." You held both of his hands.

Jeonghan didn't say anything, he pulled you into a hug. A tight and loving hug that both of you needed after all the drama that happened for the past month. 

"I love you." He whispered.

You didn't say it back but maybe one day, you were going to say it back.

Jeonghan wasn't lying when he said that he will be courting you, properly. You told him to keep it low when the two of you were in the office— he did keep it low in the office but only people who had zero sense were the one who didn't notice that he was in love. He was greeting everyone cheerfully in the morning and he was less angry than usual. His work outfit was getting more colorful— usually, he only wore a basic boring color but he started to wear brighter colors. People started to notice the difference in him and they all agreed that Jeonghan was in love.

He was in fact in love with you but people in the office didn't know—yet, that he was in love with you.

"I believe we should thanked the woman that successfully make Mr. Yoon less scary." Seungkwan said.

"Right." Soonyoung agreed with Seungkwan while you were acting like a fool.

"Oh, right. Are you busy this Friday?" Soonyoung asked you.

"Me? I don't have any plans yet for this Friday." You said while looking at Soonyoung and Seungkwan.

"Do you want to eat dinner with me?" Soonyoung asked you with confidence in his eyes.

"With you? Only the two of us?" You asked again to make sure you didn't misheard it.

"Yes. I've been wanting to ask you out but I'm too cowardly to ask you out."

You looked at Seungkwan who pressed both his lips tightly, he was trying so hard not to smile. You only realized it, Seungkwan knew it all along.

"Sorry, are you asking me out?" You asked again to make sure and Jeonghan walked past behind you right at that time.

"Yes, I'm asking you out." Soonyoung didn't hesitate a bit when you asked him about it. He wasn't going to waste the opportunity anymore.

Jeonghan pulled a chair behind you, he was sitting there, acting like he was eating his lunch—he was eavesdropping.

"Huh?" You turned into a fool because of Soonyoung's sudden confession.

"I like you a lot since a year ago? I keep talking about you to Seungkwan but I never had the courage to ask you out,"

"No pressure tho!" Soonyoung continued.

You glanced at Seungkwan who was looking at you, eyes full of hope. Like he was telling you to accept it. You loved Soonyoung but it was a platonic one, he's a good friend but you never saw him more than it.

"Soonyoung, I'm sorry. I can't." You apologized. You saw how his hopeful face fell.

"I'm with someone right now and I haven't had the chance to talk about it with you. Sorry." You glanced at Seungkwan who was looking at you all surprised. Soonyoung on the other hand tried to hide his disappointment with a smile.

"No, no need to say sorry. It's fine! Really!" Soonyoung assured you but you can see clearly in his eyes that he was hurting.

"It took me too long to have the courage, so it's just natural for you to be with someone else. Well, I'm going to smoke first, see you later!" Soonyoung grabbed his tray and made his way out of the canteen.

"Who?" Seungkwan asked.

"Someone I met while I'm on vacation." You explained shortly.

"Well, I'm happy for you but I thought you knew that Soonyoung liked you." You shook your head because everyone in the office knew how Soonyoung was. He's a kind and bubbly person. You thought what he did to you, he did it to everyone else.

On the other hand, Jeonghan who was sitting behind you can't hide the smile that spread across his face. When he first heard Soonyoung confessing, his heart was racing because he was too nervous to hear your answer but when he heard you rejected him, relief washed over him.

"I didn't know Soonyoung like me, for real. I always saw him as my good friend, just like you." You explained to Seungkwan. 

Jeonghan told you to meet him at the convenience store after work. He wanted to have dinner with you and you knew that he wanted to talk about Soonyoung confession.

"Did you wait long?" Jeonghan asked as you entered his car.

"No, I just got here." You put your bag in the back seat.

"So, I accidentally heard Soonyoung's confession." You glanced at Jeonghan who looked nervous.

"Why are you nervous? You know that I turned him down."

"I know but at that moment my heart dropped to my stomach. I was this close to scream and told everyone in the canteen that you are mine." He gestured dramatically how close he was to doing it.

"Maybe you should? There is no prohibition for dating colleagues in company regulation." You joked but Jeonghan seemed to take it seriously.

"Han, I'm joking."

"I know, baby. I know you are joking." He smiled at you. He placed his hands on your thigh, he circled your thighs with his thumbs to assure you but your folds acted differently.

Jeonghan seemed to notice how you suddenly tensed up. He squished your thigh and dragged it higher. It was a bad idea to wear a skirt.

"Han," You called his name softly, breathy that sounded like a moan.

You and your hormones.

"Yes, baby?" He slowly dragged his hands to your upper thigh.

"Can we focus on the road?" You gulped hard when you felt how close his hands were with you folds, wet folds.

"Of course, baby." He said it like it meant nothing but the smirk on his face said otherwise.

"What should we eat tonight? Do you want me to cook or should we do delivery?" He asked as he opened his apartment door.

"Can we talk about it later? I think I want to eat you first." You pushed the man to the wall and he seemed to enjoy it.

"Baby, I think we should eat first." He said it dramatically but his hands were busy helping you to unbuckle his belt.

"Oh really?" You stopped mid way before your knees hit the floor.

"Well, if you say so." You got up but Jeonghan stopped you.

"No, on your knees." You gulped hard when Jeonghan ordered you to be on your knees. His voice was low and his eyes darkened.

"Be a good girl and finish what you start."

"Han," You called him, he was resting his head on top of your chest.

"Hm?" He hummed.

"I'm hungry for real." He grabbed his phone and opened a food delivery app.

"Pizza?" He asked.

"Sounds good."

He ordered it right away.

"My friend from college is getting married this Saturday, do you want to be my plus one?"

"If I became your plus one, what would I get in return?"

"You got me, isn't that enough?" He grinned.

"No, I don't think so." You pushed him playfully but he didn't budge at all.

"Oh? You asked me to stop earlier. Saying enough—" You covered his mouth with your hands, embarrassment washed over you.

"Okay, what should I wear?"

"You'll look amazing wearing whatever but if you want to color coded with me, you can wear black."

"Well, I have an excuse to shop then, do you want to come with me?" The question came out from your mouth unexpectedly. You always thought shopping with a man was too domestic, especially your relationship with Jeonghan was still undefined. He hadn't asked you to be his girlfriend yet—well, a woman in her late twenties deserved closure.

"Of course, Friday night after work?"

"Yes." You kissed the top of his head.

You went to the office with Jeonghan in the morning and you asked him to drop you off at the nearest bus stop because you didn't want people to see you come together.

"Just come with me, tell them that we met on the way." Jeonghan refused to drop you off.

"How? I used public transport everyday."

"Well, let's say I saw you when I'm at the red light? Anyway I'm not dropping you off at the bus stop today."

So you got off with Jeonghan in the basement together. You smiled at people that you met along the way with Jeonghan on your side. While waiting for the elevator, you met with Seungkwan. He was giving you side eyes the entire ride until you reached your desk.

"Cut your shit and be honest with me, is it him?" He asked in a low voice, almost like a whisper.

"Yes." You answered and he gasped.

"Fuc—how?" Seungkwan pulled you to the pantry when he noticed people around you started to take interest in your conversation, he threw smiles and greetings here and there.

"How?" He asked again when the two of you were finally alone in the pantry.

"We met at the airport, it turns out we booked the same hotel, our rooms were next to each other. We talked a lot and we just fell for each other, I guess?" You said in a whisper because someone just entered the pantry to make their morning coffee.

"So, that's why you rejected Soonyoung?"

You inhaled sharply before shaking your head.

"No, yes—well for the record, I always see him platonically. I never saw him as more than a friend, a good friend. All this year we became friends, I never got the signal from Soonyoung. His action towards me and his action towards you—towards everyone else is the same. So, I never knew that he liked me." You explained to Seungkwan.

Seungkwan didn't say anything else for a moment. He was busy with his own thoughts until Jeonghan came in with his new insulated coffee cup that you bought for him. Seungkwan smiled at him awkwardly and glanced at you.

"Oh, Han." You called him softly and motioned him to come to you. Seungkwan nudged you when he realized Jeonghan was coming towards you. He was panicking internally because he didn't know that you were with Jeonghan while he kept matchmaking you with Soonyoung.

"Morning, Seungkwan." Jeonghan greeted him and Seungkwan bowed instantly.

"Good morning, sir. I'm sorry, I didn't know about it." Jeonghan glanced at you, who was holding your laughter.

"Seungkwan, there's nothing to be sorry about." Jeonghan glanced at his wrist and the clock hadn't hit nine, technically they were not in work hours yet.

"It's not even nine— you can call me by my name and I think we should have a drink after work sometime." Jeonghan patted Seungkwan's shoulder.

"Yes, sir—just call me whenever."

You can't help but laugh at Seungkwan and the man was side-eyeing you. Jeonghan winked at you before he excused himself to make himself a cup of coffee to kick the day. Seungkwan left you and Jeonghan in the pantry all alone.

"Do you want one?" Jeonghan offered you his freshly brewed coffee.

"No, thank you."

Jeonghan was smiling from ear to ear, he wanted to kiss you so badly but he held himself because he didn't want to get called by HR in the morning because he kissed his subordinate first thing in the morning in the office pantry.

"You do realize that you look beautiful?" You rolled your eyes and pushed him lightly.

"You should shut your mouth and go back to your office, Mr. Yoon." You winked before you left him by himself inside the pantry.

Jeonghan was following you like a puppy, from one store to another, trying from one dress to another dress that seemed endless until you found the perfect one, but Jeonghan didn't complain a bit. He was holding your bag and helped you choose when you can't decide which one was better.

"What do you think?" You twirled around to show off the dress.

"I'm not going to lie but this really fits the vibe of the wedding and it matches perfectly with mine." He was smiling from ear to ear. He loved the dress so much, it curved your body perfectly and the dress just fit right for you.

"Well, I'm going to take this one then." You winked before disappearing behind the door. When you finished changing your clothes, Jeonghan was waiting for you near the cashier area.

"Thank you for waiting." You linked your arms with his.

"It's nothing—You should shop with my sister and you will realize that your shopping time is considered fast." He pinched your nose in a playful way.

"Let me buy this one for you." He said as he stopped you from taking your wallet out of your bag.

"No, this is my dress." You refused.

"I know but you are going to be my plus one, so it's on me." He insisted and gave his card to the staff behind the counter who was looking back to back at you and Jeonghan.

"No, no, no—we're not even together. How can I let you pay for mine?" The words slipped easily from your mouth and the atmosphere shifted.

The staff almost tapped the Jeonghan card on the machine but stopped midway after hearing you. Jeonghan looked at you, his eyes clearly showed something you can't explain properly. He looked hurt but confused at the same time.

"Please, proceed to pay it. Thank you." Jeonghan said politely to the staff and you were regretting the words.

"Han," You called him and he was smiling at you.

A forced one.

"I don't know what we are." You said as you stepped out from the store.

"I thought we were being clear with our relationship?"

"But we never make it clear. We acted like a couple but you never asked me to be your girlfriend." You said, sounded too demanding. 

Jeonghan looked at you for a moment, like he was confused before laughing. He thought that the two of you had already passed the confession stage, where your relationship just started naturally without someone confessing or anything. 

"I thought we were past the confessing stage and our stances in this relationship are clear as daylight but," He reached his back pocket, pulling a black velvet box from the back pocket.

"No, don't." You stopped him.

"Baby, I'm not going to ask you to marry me—yet." He chuckled.

"This necklace should be given to you tomorrow, before we're going to the wedding but who cares if my baby wants to know we are?" He opened the box and a simple diamond necklace was inside.

"Baby, do you want to be my girlfriend? be my everything?"

You hid your face with your hands, feeling embarrassed with yourself. You thought Jeonghan would be mad at you but he didn't. Jeonghan never thought that it's a big deal from the start. He thought the two of you were already in an exclusive relationship without announcing it, but he was wrong for that.

"Well, I guess I have no choice but to say yes."

"Well you don't have any other choice, you are stuck with me. Forever." He pulled you closer by holding your waist.

"Isn't forever too soon?" You winked at him.

"There is nothing too soon when you are with me. I'll make sure you are stuck with me forever."

fin. 

[chogiwaw]

jeonghan and mingyu story is already done since weeekksss ago but i haven’t had the time to sit down and edit them sigh..

[paradiseonthemoon]

There's no such thing as love.. nevertheless.

[part 1] 5k words.

synopsis: When it came to a serious talking stage or relationship, Yoon Jeonghan was always quick to leave and ghost. His mindset being more on the side of "why cant two human beings of the opposite sex be really good friends who occasionally kiss and have sex here and there". Eden Park was quite the opposite. Always being in a relationship or talking stage, she was always a very committed person and loyal. Being alone for the first time and starting to be independent, just how far is she willing to let Jeonghan in.

Warnings: smoking, vulgar language, is afraid of disappointment one? Anxiety, depression, making outtttttttt, sex dream (not that descriptive), afraid to be happy smh (I’m prob going to miss some I’m so srry)

playlist: white mustang - Lana del rey, back to you - not for radio, been like this - doja cat , our film- rio, love- wte.

Pairing: yoon jeonghan x oc!

[honorable mentions: park sooyoung is her sister in this aka joy from red velvet. sehun from exo and Kai are key. Some svt members are mentioned in this. Also some characters from the show are in on thissss. I don’t really have a fc for the character but it does have she/her pronouns. Just imagine a baddie as you read LOL.

Note from author: before anything!! THIS IS PART OF THE BLOCKBUSTER COLLAB !!!!!!! Please check out the very amazing works that were created by talented people. i may be a little late but nevertheless here it is. As i type this note, I can’t help but feel a bit anxious as well. So much happened during the process of making this, not only were there highs and lots of lows, this is my first attempt of writing something like this. I’m so grateful to @belovedgyu , @nerdycheol , and @jakedustry for making this project come to life. To be given this opportunity to put myself out there and take on this chance. This was such a perfect first writing experience since its based off a show that i hold personally close to my heart (even though its shitted on idc), To the perfect soundtrack, to the visuals, to the imperfections of life, is how i wanted this to resonate as well. To all the amazing writers participating on this collab as well, i look up to all of you and find you guys so inspiring. To all the writers out there too, known and unknown, you guys are the shitttttt for dedicating your own time and creativity to a community that looks for a distraction from the real world we live in. I love you guys and sorry for making this long, ok bye sorry if it’s shitty. ♡

ACT I : there was never really anything to miss but the peace i felt before i knew you.

when you look up the word “love”, bunch of different meanings come up. the literal meaning being “an intense feeling of  deep affection.

To Eden, she thought she had finally gotten to understand what that meant. Kai was everything to her. He was kind, nice to her friends, always a gentleman, nice to her mom. Until he wasn’t. Started to be condescending after a bad day.  Always telling her to cut off her friends, she didn’t need them if she had him. And she should’ve known that he wasn’t her person if he was nice to her mother but not to her sister. Always making some type of “joke”. It was a bad idea to get in a relationship with your professor. She knew she should’ve broken up with him after the humiliating sculpture he made of her. But him still having the audacity to cheat on her with another student of his was just plain low. Even more embarrassing on her, because for that having to be the last straw to finally grow a pair and finally leave him.

Eden found herself alone at a bar. Nursing her drink, still reliving her breakup once again. She felt embarrassed, everyone had witnessed her puppy love and her naiveness. How much she looked up to him. She sighs deeply again, before downing her drink and signaling the bartender for a refill. She wasn't really "allowed" to drink when she was with him. He saw no point to it.

"Why do you want to drink with your friends in public?" Kai asked her. "You know it's just extra calories and it leads to foolish behavior in public. And you don't really want to gain more weight do you?" All Eden could do was just stare at him with a dumbfounded look on her face. For the first time in all her relationships, she couldn't talk back. He got in her head. "I- " was all Eden could mutter. Kai sensed what she was thinking. As if he was in her head reading every single little thing going through her mind. "Look babe. You know how people look up to me on campus. They see me as some perfectionist and I cant have them thinking I'm enabling you to be overweight."

Her eyes start to water at the memory. "There you are Jennie. Sorry I'm a little late, I couldn't find the place." Eden turns around to see the stranger talking to her. "I'm sorry, you got me confused. I'm not Jennie." The stranger looks stunned but not embarrassed. "Right. You don't really look like a Jennie to me. What's your name?", the stranger asks. Eden, however, looks embarrassed. Why was he talking to her? Did she have a sign on her back that screamed, "heartbroken loser by herself! come talk to me"? Yet she found herself intrigued by his confident aura. "Eden". He looked at her with curiosity. As if he knew something she didn't. "Nice to meet you Eden. Sorry for interrupting your night." He says before walking away and making a phone call. She noticed that she wasn't the only one who noticed his confident aura. It's like he commanded everyone to pay attention to him. She stops her staring and goes back to sulking and swallow herself in self pity. She didn't even know how to tell her friends of her breakup. She knew she was bound to get at least one "I told you so" from them. She sighs for like the millionth time pulling out her card to pay.

"Can I sit here?" the man asks as he sits down. Eden is stunned once again. "You're already sitting there though", Eden replies shyly. She can't find herself to make direct eye contact. But she feels somehow grateful. Her mind off her breakup for the first time all day. He lets out a lighthearted laugh. "You're right. Mind if I hang out with you? Unless you have other plans?". Immediately her plans to go back home and sulk go out the window at the suggestion. "Uh- no. But didn't you come here to meet with someone? The girl who you got me confused with?". "Yeah I cancelled on her." He replies very nonchalantly. Why did he cancel? Was that his girlfriend? Maybe just a friend? Why did he want to hang out with her? Should she let him hang out with her? Who was he? "I guess you can, but-" she hesitates. "Why". He hums at her question, almost making it seem like it was a pointless question. "Just.. because. It also seems like you're alone. You wouldn't mind some company, would you?". He tries to make eye contact, almost as if he's challenging her. Eden avoids his stare and looks to the side, finding the open sign flashing more interesting. She bites her lip, a nervous habit she got used to since she started dating Kai. "Fuck it I guess." She finally turns to look at him. Immediately locking eyes with him, raising her eyebrow, accepting his challenge. He smirks at her, leaning back on the stool. "Do you know how to play pool?"

Eden gives up on trying to read him. Her hard efforts of trying to work out his angle and what his intentions really were. He was just full of surprises. "Not really but I'm a quick learner." Eden said cockily.

∴⋰∴⋱∴⋰∴⋱∴⋰∴⋱∴⋰∴⋱∴⋰∴⋱༞

Eden regretted immediately saying that she was a quick learner. She wholeheartedly believed he set her up for failure. And most of all she regretted saying yes to the bet.

"You tricked me." Eden said. He only looked at her shocked. All of a sudden acting clueless. "A bet is a bet Eden. I only said I played it once or twice… or like always." Edens jaw is on the floor. The look of disbelief he's receiving.. is making him laugh. "Uh why are you laughing at me. You totally blindsided me." Eden whined. Needless to say that Eden lost but still held good sportsmanship. Although the mystery man did try to help her, it was a helpless case. Eden didn't know why she would at times feel butterflies at their little interactions.

She figures that maybe it was because her piece of shit of an ex just never gave her the time of day. She didn't know what she was doing at all. This was not something that she will ever do. Now outside the bar with him, she takes out a box of cigarettes. Looking down seeing she only has two left, perfect. She had gotten them out of her drawer after she broke up with her boyfriend. The tiny box long hidden since she had promised Kai she would give them up. He hated the smell of them. Might as well have hated her. Realization didn't hit her until this moment, she didn't know who she was anymore. He changed every little thing that made her who she was.

"Are you alright? You look a little lost in your thoughts." He told her. She snapped her neck to look up to him, blinking away the tears that were brimming up. "Do you want my last one?" She asks him, pointing to the cigarettes she was holding. "I don't really smoke, I'm okay." She didn't know what to think of that. Was he silently judging her? The sudden urge to not disappoint comes and goes within a second. She struggles getting a light, almost giving up until he steps up and take the lighter away. "Did you know smoking kills?" He says in a low tone. Almost as if he's whispering. Not paying mind to his sudden close proximity, she looks up to lock eyes. "Not fast enough." That gets a laugh out of him, as he lights her cigarette. She inhales the smoke into her lungs, still maintaining eye contact, breaking it when she exhales the smoke to the side. They stood in silence, not awkward, just comfortable. "Did you know that your name references a saint and pure place in the bible." He tells her. "Paradise so they say." She replies, tilting her head in wonder. Where was he going with this? Why couldn’t she get a read on him? He steps closer to her, leaning down to whisper to her ear. "What if i told you i can take you to paradise." Eden squirms under him, her cheeks flushing. That fake tough act she had, long gone now. She needed to get away fast. "I uh- I need to go to the bathroom really quick." She makes up a lie quickly, moving to the side to get space from him. Cigarette long gone now as she steps on it, making her way inside. What was happening right now. Did he want to have sex with her right now? Who says that to a person so casually. She heads into the bathroom, just washing her hands and making sure her appearance wasn't too awful. She was getting in her head. There probably was a place called paradise but she just didn't realize it.

As she made her way outside the restroom. She immediately notices him. Sitting alone, on a phone call. As she approaches she starts having second thoughts. What if he already got tired of her? This was too much for her. There was so much a girl could handle in a day.

So she left.

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"So you break up with that piece of shit of a man, go to the bar, meet someone hot- who you could've fucked. Or even at least kissed… and you just leave?" Yoon Sol asked. Eden just shrugged trying to fake nonchalance. "Okay Sol did you see her face. Something else happened." Nam Gyu-Hyun pointed out. At times like these, she would feel cursed at how attentive her friends were. "Ugh can you guys .. like not. It's been weeks and I don't even know the guys name. Pretty sure i was not up to kissing a stranger on the day i broke up with Kai." Eden tried to explain. She shuddered at the wind blowing at them. They were at the rooftop where everyone would go out for a smoke. Eden decided that it was time she visited her friends building. Having different majors was a little rough at times, especially when they would want to meet. But for them, always doing the impossible for each other even just for a little checkup.

"Hey. I just remembered, were having a get together tonight. Some students from sculpture are meeting up to eat and drink. Now that you're single, its my life duty mission to have you come." Sol tells her. Eden was contemplating this. She felt guilty for always canceling on her friends, just to satisfy her ex. But she didn't know if she could handle the crowd and new faces. "I'll let you guys know, I have to catch up on the sketches for the final. Inspiration has not been hitting me lately as it should have been." Eden tells them regrettably. "And you will finally get to meet Bitna, she's a jealous little friend when she has to share Gyu-Hyun." Gyu-Hyun only rolls his eyes, not fully disagreeing. All Eden can do is laugh. She never had the chance to meet Bitna, but she definitely knew of her. "Alright no promises, I gotta go," Eden tells them as she gets up and glances at her phone. "Chaeyoung is already having separation anxiety, talk to you guys later." She waves goodbye to them as she starts walking back to her side of campus. She replies to her friend, not paying attention to her surroundings as she bumps into someone's shoulder. Quickly apologizing, not bothering to look up as she continues to text her friend.

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"That's a pretty design." Chaeyoung interrupts her thoughts. She looks down to hear sketchbook, still in a daze. "What are you thinking about?" Eden looks up to her to face her interrogating gaze. "My friends invited me out today to eat dinner with them and some of their class friends." Eden says as she finishes her sketch, still unsure with the tiny details. "So whats the problem? This is a fun outing! No reason to pout." Chaeyoung scolds her. "Look I just… I know I should get out more and have a little fun, but I don't know if I'm ready. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Like who I was as a person without him." Silence falls upon them. Eden was looking anywhere else except Chaeyoung. How long had it been just them alone? Million thoughts running through her mind, not daring to predict what her friend could tell her. Chaeyoung sighs as she observes her friend. "Just go." She tells her softly. "Look the way I see it, this is a dinner catch up. You finally get to catch up with friends, maybe make some new ones too! What he did was fucked up and was just projecting his insecurities onto you. You can't keep letting him win. It's not fair to you and those around you." Eden was tearing up at this point. She quickly looks up to stop any tears from falling.

Why was she so weak.

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Eden was double checking outside. Awkwardly tugging her shirt down and fixing her hair, she makes her way inside. She immediately spots Gyu-Hyun sitting next to Bitna as she walks in. Eden takes in the busy atmosphere, taking some weight off her shoulders. Gyu immediately spots her, as if anticipating her arrival. "You made it! When Sol texted me, I still didn't think you would make it." He tells her as he side hugs her. "Ye of little faith aren't you." Eden replies to him, lightly laughing, She turns to the table waving a polite hello, trying to minimize eye contact. Gyu guides her next to his seat, putting her close to the edge of the table. "Hey. You must be the other important female in his life." This gets an eyebrow raise from Eden. "You must be Bitna. Nice to put a face to the name, I'm Eden." Eden replies to her while extending her arm across the table to give Bitna a handshake.

Bitna takes it cautiously as she looks between them. "Is Sol running late?" Eden asks Gyu as she takes in the people sitting around her. "Yes, she said she was dropping off a friend. Were also missing this other guy that's in our class. He's our age." She just nods, her mind already drifting away. "Before you drift away, let me introduce you to the people." Eden curses herself mentally. He knew her too well. "Over there are our two juniors, the one on the left is Vernon and on the right is Mingyu. Both of them are also in sculpting." They send her a wave before going back to their conversation. "Next to them is Chan and Yerim, they are our youngest. Across from them are a year younger but different major. The one with glasses is -"

"Wonwoo." Eden breathes out. "You know him? How?" Gyu asks, frowning in confusion. Eden had not made the connection of the possibility that Wonwoo and Gyu-Hyun would be mutuals. "He's Kai's friend." Eden whispers to him while shooting Wonwoo a fake smile and small wave. She feels anxious all of a sudden. Million of thoughts running through her mind. What if Wonwoo decided to tell Kai about her every move?

"Well look at who finally arrived! Next round on Jeonghan!" Tipsy Bitna yells. This makes Eden snap put of her thoughts, immediately shifting her focus to the unknown person.

Not unknown. The familiar face bringing her back to the bar, their first interaction. The shared intimate moments and meaningless conversations rushing through her mind. "Nice to see you make it." Gyu-Hyun says in a sarcastic voice. He nods over to Eden, giving her a brief nudge. "Jeonghan, this is my friend Eden." Jeonghan finally sees her. His face pulling into a sly smirk. "Oh I kno-" "Nice to meet you. I'm Eden, fashion department. I'm assuming you're also in the Sculpture department?" Eden quickly interrupts him, not wanting Jeonghan to reveal her identity.

Jeonghan seemed to quickly catch on, shooting her a quick questioning look. "Right. Is this your first outing with the group? I've never seen you around." Eden realizes he's playing with her. His coy act not fooling anyone. "Yeah I thought I met everybody but I just can't seem to place you." Eden says, tilting her head in faux confusion. This earns another sly smirk from Jeonghan. Gyu looks back and forth, confused at the sudden boost of confidence from Eden. Before he could dwell on the interaction, the conversation steered and so did his thought's.

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As the night progressed, Jeonghan and Eden kept stealing glances at one another. This action seemed to go unnoticed by everyone surrounding them. Sol eventually joined the group as they were in their fifth round of drinks, the atmosphere buzzing with good energy. Eden couldn't help but still be hesitant towards striking conversations with new people, or make comments that she would later on regret. She was still very aware of Wonwoo's presence. A sudden urge to smoke came upon her.

"Sorry I need a little smoke break, mind coming with me?" Eden whispered into Sol's ear. Receiving a quick nod, they immediately got up and headed outside the restaurant. Not caring at this point if she would receive weird and judgemental looks from her peers. She must've walked too quickly, once she reaches outside its just her alone and Sol was still inside. Not wanting to wait, she quickly pulls a cigarette from her pocket and goes to light it. Patting down her pockets and looking like a maniac searching for her lighter, luck doesn't seem to be on her side.

"We gotta stop meeting like this." Eden looks up to see Jeonghan standing six feet apart from her with a lighter. The universe really wasn't on her side. She steps a foot closer, hand reaching towards the lighter. He pulls it away, playing with her. "Don't you know that smoking kills?" That seems to get a laugh out of Eden. "Not fast enough." She smirks. Jeonghan looks down, hiding the smile that threatens to fall. "Now why would we want that?" Fuck. It was her turn to turn away, hiding the blush that crept up. "Where's Sol? I thought she was right behind me." Eden decides to switch their conversation. Too much tension between them. "You seemed in a rush to get out here but Bitna pulled her away, nagging Sol with her drunk rambling." He finally hands her the lighter, not choosing to light her cigarette like last time. Eden doesn't know why, but she felt a little disappointed at the small action. Nevertheless, finally doing what she came out here to do. "So why'd you follow me out here?" "Do I need a reason?"

She rolls her eyes, taking in a final drag to her cigarette. Eden glances up to him, analyzing him, feeling him analyze her as well. As much as she tried, she couldn't get a read on him. "Whatever, I'm going to go check up on Sol." Muttering a quiet bye as she heads back in. Not looking back to see if he's following her or not. All she could think about now was how silly she was to overthink her coming to the dinner.

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The version of you that people create in their mind is not your responsibility

"Shortage of models, not enough fabric, not enough time." Chaeyoung rants endlessly. Their major came through many hardships, but it was worth it in the end. At least that's what they were trying to convince themselves. "Look models, we have plenty of good looking friends and if we collect some money, we can hire them for the day! Fabric well we just halve to make sure we use it very very appropiately. And for time well.." Eden glances to the clock. "Let's get to work." Eden couldn't help panic on the inside. A lot of expectation had been put on her, she couldn't give up now because of some little obstacles. Eden sighs for the millionth time, glancing at her friend. When did life get so complicated? Having enough of her self pitying party, she quickly packs her stuff getting ready to leave. Rushing past her friend giving her a quick 'bye', she only has one thing on her mind and she's hoping he can save both their asses.

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After getting small breather and recollecting themselves, Eden and Chaeyoung found themselves back on campus after hours. Hoping her reinforcements would pull through. A startling noise breaks her out of her thoughts.

"Hey sorry for being a little late, this guy was taking forever." Gyu-Hyun says as he walks in with his friends. Jeonghan being one of them. She just couldn't seem to escape him. And so was Wonwoo. Why would he come?

"Awesome. You guys are lifesavers, truly." Chaeyoung tells them as she goes up to them to give them a hug. Eden can't seem to move, locking eyes with Wonwoo trying to get a read on him. His face is just neutral, like always. She could never tell what he was thinking, even when she was dating her ex. At this point, all she could hope was for her best friend to arrive with her sister.

"Eden!" Chaeyoung chuckles nervously. She finally snaps out of the trance she was stuck in. She looks to Chaeyoung, barely making the words she was mouthing. "Sorry guys, my mind has been all over the place. Thanks you so much for coming so last minute. Our models were hijacked and were offered a better deal. We promise that we will try our very best to make you guys look good and shine on that stage, and bring out the best side of you." Eden tells them, finally daring to look at Jeonghan. He was looking at her with a concerned gaze. Mouthing 'are you okay' to her, all she could do was nod and glance at her phone, finally receiving a text she was anxiously waiting for.

"If you guys could excuse me for a second, the last two models arrived. I will be right back. Chae will explain everything to each of you and guide you to where you need to be." She shoots them a smile as she heads to the exit. Eden was nervously shaking as she went to the front of the building, eyes watering as she saw her sister with arms wide open. She immediately melts into her sisters arms, crying as this was her first time seeing her since her life went to shit.

"If I knew you would greet me like this, I would not have came at all." Eden's sister, Sooyoung, tells her jokingly. Glancing to the person next to her sister, she hugs him tightly as well. Her best friend Sehun. "I still resent you from graduating and leaving me." Eden says into his chest, the height difference being way too obvious right now. "Looks like you've left out some details out from what you've told me, why is there a handsome man looking at us from the window above." They all turn to look up at the window, making eye contact with Jeonghan, who subtlety looks away and goes on his phone.

Realizing she's been gone for a good minute, she wipes her tears and fixes herself before filling them in on the assignment. Eden didn't even want to think of Jeonghan and his perfect face, she wouldn't even know how to explain it to them what he was in her life. Because truly he was nothing to her. Just a distraction from the worst day ever.

"So whats her deal?" Jeonghan asks Gyu-Hyun. His body doing a full three-sixty to face Jeonghan. "Her deal? The fuck you mean her deal?" He's confused at his sudden interest in Eden. Everyone who knew Jeonghan, knew he was not the commitment person. "Look man, Eden is not the type of girl that you go for. She's a very loyal person and her fucking heart too vulnerable for your shit." Gyu says in a lone tone, going back to looking at the suit that was given to him. "Okay man whatever, I'll back off. But who the fuck is that next to her." Jeonghan cannot jut give it up. It's like something was pulling him towards her. Her secrets, her aura, her innocence. He was becoming addicted and he didn't even know her. But Gyu was right, he just can't commit. "Cut the macho crap man, that's just her friend. Best friend actually, his rank is higher than mine. He's a year older than us."

Jeonghan didn't want to seem obsessive or some on too strong. But its in his nature, he couldn't stop himself from thinking the worst. What if that guy was more than a friend to her? Not that its ever stopped him from pursuing anyone before. He sighs as he goes up to her. After all, he made sure the other girl would put him with Eden. "Hey sorry for interrupting, but where do you want me?" He asks her, not really giving a fuck if he interrupted her conversation with the older guy. His attention is only on Eden. "I didn't know Chae put you with me. Okay wait for me with Wonwoo. I'm almost finished up here." She replies as she shoots him a smile. 'Fuck', Jeonghan thought. He needed to get a grip on himself. Making his way to where Wonwoo was, he saw that he was on the other side of the class. Did she hate him? "Hey man, Eden sent me here. Said we are next after she's done with the guy she's with." He tells him in a low voice.

Wonwoo couldn't help but look at her, and then him. Was he missing something? "Does that annoy you or something?" He inquired him. Jeonghan snapped his head to look at him in confusion. "What makes you say that? I didn't even say anything like that." Jeonghan went back to staring at his shoes, not wanting to entertain the conversation. "You just seemed annoyed but okay." Nothing is said anymore.

Two minutes passs by and Jeonghan can't stay silent any longer. "Why are you here? How do you know Eden? Or are you here for Chaeyoung?" The question Eden, and secretly, Jeonghan had been dying to know. Wonwoo pushes his glasses back up, a bit uncomfortable to the sudden outburst. "I know her ex. We used to be friends back when they were dating. I wasn't super close to her, I'm still not, but I don't associate myself with people that do what he did. When I found out what happened, I was already distancing myself from that environment and that's how I got close to Gyu-Hyun's group. I heard that she was looking for models and I wanted to help in any way, more so to hopefully get the chance to apologize and tell her I'm no longer friends with him."

The sudden confession from Wonwoo was something that Jeonghan did not see coming at all. It did start to make sense as to why he would start seeing him more frequently. It went silent all over again. All this just made Jeonghan want to get to know Eden more and more. How could a person be this intriguing to him?

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As the night continued, people were leaving one by one. At the end of the night everyone had left. Except Jeonghan. She had stalled on doing his outfit and she was pretty sure he knew. But he stayed, no complaints. She had noticed his body language towards Sehun, distant and cold. She didn't know what that was about, but she knew Sehun had noticed as well. He was like her other half- of course he knew.

Eden thanked her sister and Sehun for coming down, promising to meet them tomorrow morning as she had stuff to finish tonight. Heading back inside the building she noticed she was getting a little hungry.

"Alone once again." She looks up to see Jeonghan standing outside the classroom, waiting for her. "Looks like it. Are you hungry? I'm starving and I could buy you dinner. On me. Since you're still here helping me." She rambles on, looking at food options on her phone. She doesn't seem to notice Jeonghan's stare, really looking at her from a new angle. A new perspective.

"I'm okay with anything, no way im letting you pay though. I signed up for this, no one is forcing me to stay here. I'm choosing to stay here." It falls into a calm ambiance. She sighs calmly as she looks at him, then outside. "Do you want to take a break then? Walk and order takeout instead of getting it delivered?"

"Should we play twenty questions?" He pries. She realized he couldn't be quiet and enjoy the nature, like she could. He spoke out his mind. "I guess we can. I start," she says while giving him a playful glare. "Since were going to eat right now.. what would your final death meal be? Anything in the world!" She exclaims excitedly. Jeonghan couldn't help but look down at her softly, before pulling himself together. "This is hard. This is going to sound so basic but I swear it hits-"

"Alright dude just say it. You're rambling." Eden tells him in a playful tone. "Okay okay, Fried chicken with beer. It just hits so good after a hard day at school or work." Eden finds herself nodding. "Got it. So lets go get chicken with beer. I know the perfect place." it was Jeonghan's turn, but Eden didn't want to remind him and seem-

"My turn. Do you believe in love?" She snaps her head to look at him. Wondering how the conversation went from final death meal, to love. She turns to look straight ahead, humming as she ponders. Love had been cruel to her. Did she believe in love? "Love is a fickle little thing. I recently read an article where the person talks about that throughout life, we fall in love three times at three different stages of our life. The three loves theory. First you get your first love, you're possible first everything. The second is the intense love. Something that stuck out to me and its always just been at the back of my mind is, 'We learn what we want from love, and what we don't.' I believe I've gone through two of them."

They finally arrive to the chicken shop place. Eden telling Jeonghan to wait outside as she heads in to pick up their order. She knew the ladies and if they saw her with him, they would be there all night. Waving goodbye to the shops workers, she signals to Jeonghan to start walking again.

"So you didn't really answer my question. Do you believe in it?" He asks again.

"At the moment…..

no."

And that’s the end to part one! I’m glad to leave it off here and I’m so so so so sorry if it’s so slow burn, but maybe let’s all hold hands and trust the process? @livmarauder @choco-scoups @cherrymayz @luvrung @gentleisa @chogiwaw @cxffecoupx @caratchronicles @onionhassayyo @pomegranate-teardrop @hopecutie @mellowgyu thank you guys for being so welcoming and patient I love yall ♡ also sorry if this was short, but let’s all cross our fingers I don’t end up homeless xx and omg sorry guys but sorry if there’s any grammar mistakes ok baiiiiiiiii

[chogiwaw]

my tbr list is getting longer andddd fun!!

[mellowgyu]

Words are futile devices - k.mg (part-1)

Synopsis: you never thought of words as important when your world is solely ruled by actions and sutures..that is until you are revisited by the words of the boy you did not have to translate your soul to. however, with the escalation of time, the boy you once knew now is someone you need to notify of your every action…not that you mind the sudden intrusion of the man who has always smelled like sandalwood and all the peace you have ever known.

pairing: Chief Resident Doctor! Mingyu x Fem Resident Doctor! Reader

w.c: 8k

genre: hospital and university au

tags: mentions of loss of parent, physical abuse, graphic depiction of domestic violence, mentions of murder, reader is dealing with heavy emotions such as grief and loss, self-isolation, self-blame, depiction of gambling disorder (in a very particular side-character), hospital setting- it includes mentions of injuries and various bodily dysfunctions (in-passing, not detailed), both the main characters are under constant stress, sleep deprivation, implied smut.

these tags are for the overall fic, especially for upcoming part-2.

specific tags for the current part: sleep deprived reader, depiction of domestic violence in a very specific nightmare scene, reader lowkey had abandonment issues. read at your own discretion.

author's notes: this is fic is the part of blockbuster collab hosted by @nerdycheol, @belovedgyu and @jakedustry. i would like start firstly by thanking the Luna, i don't think i would have even thought of writing anything ever again if it wasn't was her, thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone. I'm gonna be forever grateful for this <3 @livmarauder thank you for being my constant support system and listening to me crash out about this fic and never leaving my side, i love you. you are indeed the best thing happened to me in the past three months<3. @cherrymayz thank you for believing in me constantly and reminding me to believe in myself too. thank you @belovedgyu, @livmarauder and @cherrymayz for beta reading this fic and helping me correct grammatical errors as well as brainstorming with me. last but not the least, thank you to all the other writers who participated in this collab, all of you have lightened up my days for the past few months and i truly had the best time interacting with each and every single one of you @chogiwaw, @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @caratchronicles, @cxffecoupx, @pomegranate-teardrop, @gentleisa, @hopecutie, @luvrung and @choco-scoups.

aside from that, special mention to you dish (@nonchastin) for helping me escape med-school loopholes and sharing your insight<3 i love you.

support all the other authors: Blockbuster collab masterlist

credits to @strangergraphics for the lovely dividers!!

feel free to listen to these songs while reading

prologue

you felt like you were living your life on borrowed time, like the clock of your life would reset every day. ticking — running out and ticking again incessantly — this was the first thought that stretched across your mind as you lay awake in your bed, no amount of crisp morning air could shrug you out of your thoughts as you tossed and turned. accepting defeat, you forced yourself out of the snug bundle of blankets as your attention shifted to the screechy sound of your bedroom door being utilized as a scratch post.

"you really could not wait till i set up your little corner in the living room, hmm?" you cooed at the not so very small grey creature — who is now rubbing itself all over your legs as you crouch down to give in to Iris's constant demands for pets.

by the time you had freshened up, the sunlight had already started penetrating through the bare windows of your new apartment.

the amount of boxes — even though marked, had already started to look overbearing in all their chaotic glory. so you started to stumble across the life you once had, which is now packed in cardboard and bubble wraps.

as you start to unpack and set your apartment up, piece by piece — utensils first, then wardrobe, your beloved books —the hefty medical ones and the delicate paperbacks. you were knee-deep in organizing the keepsakes from your former coworkers when, as if your eyes had already decided for you without consulting your mind, you found the photographs along with the annotated notes you had sworn you had gotten rid of.

well, maybe not swore but at least thought that you had packed them somewhere less obvious — and as if your precious cat had sensed your apparent distress, Iris landed herself straight into your lap already settling in and purring, hoping it would be enough to soothe you.

you are not sure when your eyes start to well up or when your breath starts to hitch or when you start going through the captured memories — like someone who has certainly been in this same exact situation before, for more times than she would she would like to admit.

by the time you are done, iris is already fast asleep in your lap and you are unsure, if the sudden warmth in your chest is because of her clinginess or the clinginess of the boy who had grazed past you like the sun, without whose presence your life continues to feel like a constant fight against time.

march 2016

uncertainty finds an abode in your gut, pushing and pulling and deliberately poking at your thoughts — making them tangible in the form of an ache that settles itself in your abdomen.

the idea of choosing between things — be it moral dilemmas or something as simple as clothing or the choice you are currently facing, between staying where you are or abandoning everything you have built so far, has always been a concept that you detested the most.

the past few days have been a cycle of choosing between a lot of things, but the cardinal being leaving or staying in your hometown. if you could bifurcate your body into two, you would leave a part of you here for your mother to find a refuge in during your absence whilst the other pursues the noble degree of medicine you have decided to trail after in Seoul.

before you can dwell anymore upon what anyone in a miles range would recognize as growing pains, there is a soft drumming of your mother's footsteps on the stairs, leading to your room.

"pearl, are you awake? you're not ultimately napping again, are you?" the sound of nagging reaches you before her face does. the only response you have is a sheepish smile that you only have reserved for her, not wanting her to read too much into your furrowed eyebrows and puffed up eyelids.

"just took a small nap."

"i'm so worried for you, who is gonna wake you up in between your lectures?"

"mum, you really think i am that irresponsible?"

"no" she says, cupping your face between her palms."i am just concerned for you, adapting in a faraway city might take a toll on you." her fingers caressing your cheekbones, you know she has caught up on your attempts to hide your thoughts.

"you have always been sensitive." with that, she leans to press gentle kisses on the top of your head.

"I'll miss you too, mum."

the train smells like a mixture of musk and sweat, carrying the late night-early morning reaching crowd. the soft whirring sound of nothingness had almost lulled you to sleep, and you would have almost missed out on your station if it was not for scheduled alarm you had on— already expecting the exact situation to occur.

you stumble out of the compartment and then the station, still sleepy half dissociated — your suitcase treading behind you also making it's way till the nearest bus station that could take you till your final stop for the day.

you were sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the first bus to arrive when you felt a sudden presence behind you. you felt your heart picking up pace, your grip on your shoulder bag tightening as someone tall looms behind you.

"can i sit here?" the boy with rather gentle eyes asks, not that you looked at him for more than a second, already sighing in relief — it is just a boy, no older than yourself."everywhere else is dewy, your coat wiped this part out when you sat".

"sure." your voice comes out softer than you intended, your body had already began to relax.

you must have waited for twenty minutes more before you could see the hazy headlights of the vehicle cutting through the early morning fog. you are already cursing your life choices for choosing a university so far away from your sunny hometown. the cold air bites at your face, turning your nose and cheeks rosy. you can’t decide whether the chill makes you feel relieved or irritated.

paying for the ticket with exact change, you sat down in the far back corner after setting your suitcase up. you pulled your phone out and sent a quick message to your mother, informing her that you had arrived safely in Seoul.

you do not notice the peering eyes of a certain boy on you — not even when he was sitting right across you on the other corner — not in a threatening manner, but rather filled with curiosity.

Mingyu prides himself as someone who adapts to situations easily — always pleasant and charming — doted on by many. so, to note that you do not even glance at him once the whole time during the bus ride is nothing short of surprising. He is not a narcissist nor a fool, he knew how to read the room — but that is what baffled him more.

you; almost being swallowed by your overcoat — looking so tiny yet so at peace, softly murmuring the lyrics of the song he recognised as 'Brown Eyes's' from the early two thousands. your peaceful stance moved him, anyone else would appear at least a little vigilant traveling all alone so early in the morning in an almost stranded bus with two strangers — but you looked so unfettered.

he decides to stop staring at you, just in case you caught up to his rather mesmerized gaze — he doesn't even know where your destination is but he wants all the routes to be those which lead him back to you somehow.

and as if the universe was conspiring in Mingyu's favor, he did not have to gest a lot to see you again.

he had just been roaming around the library cabins, trying to find some peace and quiet for him to concentrate and actually get something productive done, which does not involve networking and grabbing drinks with the seniors.

he does not recall what prompted him to look in the farthest corners of the library, but he does anyway and discovered the same unfettered girl, who is still unfettered, seemingly knee deep in her biophysics workbook — her waist down hair cascading down her willowy build, almost self-serving as a blanket.

you weren't looking at him, or anywhere else except the spin echo sequences which seemed to be pissing you off. you were in a rhythmic harmony with yourself, "a bubble" as they call it. simply existing but somehow entrancing him in with your gentle hums.

he realized he had the exact same assignment due next week.

at least, one thing was clear to him — you were a freshman too and sharing similar classes; and he would instigate all that he can to know you.

Before you could even comprehend, you were thrown into a whiplash of coursework and lab schedules. You knew med-school was hectic but no one truly prepared you for the overwhelm it would cause. you don't remember the last time you had a proper meal that was not a caffeinated drink. there was no time to truly rest, not when there were already quadrant tests looming over. speaking of which — a conversation you had with Yerin; your roommate and senior by two years did nothing to provide any comfort.

"you do know the exams are made extra difficult for the first quadrants, right?" she had chimed while prepping her meals last week.

"shouldn't they be like any other normal test?" you had reverted, which earned you a scoff. "do you have any past year question papers as references?"

and this simple ask had helped you attain a look of horror from her, "do you really not know about the exam policies!?"

the classroom was filled to the brim, overflowed to the extent some students just preferred to sit on the ground, no amount of discomfort reflected on their faces about it.

Mingyu knew he was running late by two minutes, but had not expected that there wouldn't be a single seat in sight, slightly annoyed and more so confounded, and questioning of his own life choices. he wanted to leave and sit this lecture out, what could he possibly miss out that he could not cover up through briefing lecture notes.

the answer to his doubts just presented herself, in a form adorning the second bench from the front, a part of him relieved while another concerned.

just how early did you reach the lecture hall, to be able to sit almost at the front.

_______________________

Mingyu was a meticulous man, an aptitude deemed for a future surgeon, but using this gift to observe and articulate your routine was the last thing he had expected to do.

"are you going to talk to her? or just stare at her for eternity and pray that she magically stares back?" wonwoo said, setting down the books he found with a thud on the library table, earning side eyes from his fellow overworked sophomores.

"i don't want to creep her out" Mingyu huffed, placing his head on the table, clearly embarrassed of getting caught by his best friend, as if he could escape his judgments. when all he has been doing is ticking down all the classes he has noticed you share, your routine of rushing to the library straight from lectures, not forgetting to grab a caffeinated energy drink before that.

"all she does is study, Hyung." his voice now muffled,"i have seen her grabbing food, like once."

"i mean, aside from her eating habits. you really should learn a thing or two about studying from her"

"Hyunggggg, i am being serious"

"you are hopeless, hopelessly mesmerized"

_______________________

He saw you across the campus, doing something that deviated from your usual routine.

Your waist-length hair was down today, just as he had predicted. He had noticed a pattern in your hairstyling habits: if it was down today, then you would definitely have a half bun tomorrow, followed by braids until the cycle restarted. You had bent down, petting a calico cat— the one he had often fed before but never really touched, because she would scratch when he tried.

He wasn’t surprised though, that even the small animal seemed to trust you.

So far, he had seen classmates falling asleep in your presence, which he had first dismissed as boredom during lectures — until the number of incidents exceeded any reasonable coincidence. Professors would gently acknowledge your answers during class. He had overheard one of the girls muttering, “She’s so well-read,” under her breath, after you had thoughtfully responded to a triage scenario in your clinical communication class.

Needless to say, you clearly had goals—and you were hell-bent on achieving them.

_______________________

The look on his roommate’s face when he had seen Mingyu leaving thirty minutes early for class was nothing short of amused.

Even Mingyu himself felt feeble for doing all these things. He had crushes before and quite a history with dating, yet no girl had ever invaded his thoughts quite like this.

So when he reached the lecture hall early and saw you sitting at your usual spot—eyes closed, head lolled on your backpack, earphones in — all he could do was take a seat, two seats away from you.

You stayed that way until the start of the lecture.

You seemed unusually tired today — not the tiredness from waking up early, but the kind that reflected a night without sleep.

He wondered what had kept you up.

The answer came a few hours later, in the form of a notification: introducing yourself and inquiring about the previous year’s questions.

He felt grateful to Wonwoo for roping him into the circle of seniors and helping him network.

you had made a promise to yourself, about not interacting much with your classmates, not more than necessary at least, but you discovered the strict policies that your university had in place "no sharing of previous year questions" not officially at least. This rule did not however stop the seniors to prepare a question bank; in hiding, of course.

Turns out, there is a whole network of students — super seniors, seniors, sophomores who learn the questions in every exam and note them down, in a shared file, the origins of which lie 20 years back; or so you have heard. all this because, the question papers were taken back from the students as the exam ends, these question papers were strictly no access.

the problem being, these networks were exclusive and tight knit.

now, although having full faith in your academic abilities, previous year questions always prove themselves to be helpful; especially when there is an overwhelming amount of lecture slides, flashcards and chapters to revise.

being new to this city and having no one to rely on, no social network, no seniors you could reach out to without making it seem awkward. to avoid the prospects of embarrassing yourself.

at first you try to find the sources yourself, in forums and in the library, hoping for something to turn up but you give up eventually after pulling two all-nighters consecutively. knowing fully well, you have no other choice but to talk to your classmates.

it is rather amusing to you, no matter how much you inquire and with whom you inquire from because all lines of inquiry end up at crossroads with just one name, Mingyu.

You arrived earlier than the promised time, you always did, preferring to spend a little time with yourself before you get surrounded by the agenda of the day.

the agenda at present being, acquiring the previous year question bank. it was really easy acquiring and contacting Mingyu, as if the guy had no barriers to himself at all. one quick ask from a classmate sufficed.

he had chosen a rather obvious location, cornered? yes; but obvious.

you had always found libraries to be comforting, the faint smell of books and burnt coffee. the only noise in the surrounding being rushed and scratching of pens and pencils against paper, amongst the shallow muttering. most of all, you found yourself not shrinking when surrounded by books, like you did everywhere else.

he was running late and you couldn't say you were surprised, you had seen this coming. heck, you even expected him to not show up at all. why should he? it isn't like you ran in the same circles of academicians, you had no connections, no friends to vouch for your confidence and secrecy. just when you were about to give up and get up to find a normal work book for biophysics, you heard the light pattering of footsteps approaching.

_______________________

even before he saw your face, Mingyu recognised you, the same unguarded energy of the girl from the bus stop — the one who didn't even spare him a glance as she exited the bus — the one who didn't know her presence had made a mark in his mind without even trying.

he did not realize he had gone static, only jolting back to motion when he saw you getting up, not wanting to miss out this opportunity to talk to you.

"you're the one who contacted me about the PYQ's, right?" he asked, as he settled in the seat besides yours, arranging his folders and laptop with surgical precision. he saw you nodding — seeing you up-close, he realized you looked rather soft and shy, not unguarded. scrubbing his misjudgment aside, he decides to take the control of the conversation, wanting to keep you around as much as he could.

"not much of a talker, are you?"

"not when I'm unsure of what to talk about," you give him a tight lipped, very awkward smile, the best response you could extend to his attempt of small talk. "what do I have to do, to get my hands on the questions?"

if it was someone else, Mingyu would have snarled and teased by responding 'straight to the business, are we not?' but something about your urgency was endearing. It was even more surprising to him, the absence of feigning flirtatious remarks because that is all he had been getting the past two weeks, ever since classmates started to notice him hanging out with seniors.

"you don't have to do anything, other than copying these questions somewhere safe."

"you aren't allowed to give me the hard drive?" you ask, shifting uncomfortably in your chair.

"unfortunately not." a blatant lie, he could just ask you to bring your laptop, and you could simply transfer the whole thing, it was password protected. Mingyu knew that, but he also knew he would miss the chance to speak to you if he did not play his little tricks.

"how come i have never seen you around since the bus-stop?" a lie, a rather harmless one.

now that caught you off guard, and the surprise is made apparent on your face, furrowed eyebrows and bemused eyes.

"well, i didn't know Mr. birdie was observing me and looking out for me." you say, giving him an unimpressed glance from the side.

"MR.BIRDIE???? please don't tell me that's the nickname out of all the nicknames you could have chosen for me" he feigns a pout.

"well, if you did not know, Mr. Birdie is actually a side quest, in the game Final Fantasy." the words spilling out of you before you could hold them."it involves locating ones beloved pet."

"are you calling yourself my beloved?"

"now you are just putting words in my mouth, i never said that."

"what do you mean though? just simply curious about your intention behind the name."

"well, you just seem like a bird. freely gliding around the vast sky of social networks."

"ah, i would not call it that. i know some of these seniors back from high school."

"oh?" you had this quizzical look on your face which made him giggle.

"yeah, i am not as social as you think i am."

you had scoffed at that, a look of disbelief overtaking your features "well, you know more than two people at least and i think that is social enough."

"maybe you should join my two person group then."

"hmm, I'll think about it."

Mingyu feels slight flutters in his stomach, not only you are studious, but you also know banter. it makes him wonder, what else did you know and were hiding behind your dark night like eyes. those were the first feature of yours that caught his eyes, how your eyes scattered like midnight fields, vast and holding the weight of things unspoken. your eyes held so much pain and dullness, that he wondered how could someone so young possibly have that look in their eyes.

there was this warmth about you, the origins of which he still could not establish. something about your oversized hoodies, braided hair cascading down to your waist, or maybe your melodic voice. it was drawing all of him all in.

it was as if someone had switched off the plug in his mind, because why was he staring at you like you had hung stars in the sky? you had just given him a horrible nickname, if anything he should be weirded out, you had just babbled about one of your pass-time interests and your non-existing social life.

but he didn't even falter, and that was scarier.

it had been a productive week for you, filled with revisions and quizzes. so, when the weekend rolled around you decide to reward yourself with some well-earned downtime. your mother had been constantly nagging at you for doing nothing else other than studying, and she was right about it too.

getting into this university was an escape and she wanted you to have all the normal experiences any youngster living alone for the first time would have.

So you take up her advice and text the only person you know, who would have plans for the weekend.

"is the offer of joining you and your two friends still up?" you nearly cringed reading your text but sent it anyways, you had no hopes of him even acknowledging your text. thinking he was just being polite last week.

distancing yourself with your phone, you just decide to organize and clean up your space, but to your surprise you heard multiple notifications in a matter of a minute.

"yes, just planning to play basketball with the said two friends" he had said, only after a voice note of him whining and complaining about not texting him earlier.

fifteen minutes later, he was standing in front of your dorm waiting for you, eyes lighting up as soon as he spotted you, looking like no less than a golden retriever.

"are you ready to have some fun?" he asked, moving his eyebrows dramatically.

"i don't even know the rules properly, but i think it'll be fun?" you had admitted shyly and embarrassed. truth being told, you had never been athletic and hated how loud sports complexes could be.

you dreaded the mandatory sport lessons back in school, but what was the point of coming this far away from your home if not to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

"so, tell me about your friends. is there anything in particular i should know and be careful about?" you had asked, your inquisitiveness and enthusiasm apparent.

"well, i said two but there is a whole team, including seniors and kids from premed."

all the way till the court, Mingyu had introduced you to not two but twelve others, making you laugh by sharing their shenanigans. he was in the middle of explaining how things were getting rowdy at a board game night they had last week, when you heard hurried steps approaching the two of you.

"Kim Mingyu, you're late againnnnn?" the first thing you noticed was that his voice did not match his ethereal features and his features definitely did not match the repetitious and monotonous lifestyle of med school.

"Jeonghan hyung, aren't you late too, though?" Mingyu reverted playfully.

"i was at the hospital working my ass off, cut me some slack." Jeonghan replied, appearing exhausted.

"you sure you gonna be okay playing tonight? you look like you need good ten hours of sleep."

"i think, what i need right now is for you to introduce me to your new friend over here and not sleep" Jeonghan, now pointing at you with his eyes, although by the looks of it..it seemed he knew something you did not.

"she can introduce herself just right." Mingyu now giving you an encouraging smile, "this is Jeonghan hyung, he is currently an intern at Yulje Hospital, along with Seungcheol hyung."

you gave Jeonghan a little wave. "i just heard about your pranks from him five minutes ago, i just know you are a fun person to be around already."

"Mingyu, keep this one around, i like her already." Jeonghan said, sheepish and sly.

"i plan to." Mingyu muttered, under his breath so softly that neither Jeonghan nor your ears could catch it.

_______________________

you knew these boys were chaotic from the very first look, but nothing could have prepared you for the frenzy that had been the the first two quarters. if anyone saw these boys from a distance, they would deem them as enemies at first glance.

your mother was right, yet again. seeing them all getting feisty it reminded you of your childhood days, when you actually had friends. childhood friendships felt real because they were devoid of transaction, technically the transaction was time spent well together but that is hardly a transaction at all, unlike friendships as an adolescent, where everything became a competition.

one of the reasons why you escaped your small town, was to get away from the prying eyes of the people. not wanting to become a subject of judgement.

you did not realise you had entered a trance, not until Mingyu comes and sits next to you, half amused-half concerned. "are we that boring that you have to resort to your own thoughts?" there was no bite to his words, just concern.

"huh? no, no its not that."

"hmm, then what is it? you look tired."

"i just did not sleep enough this week." you sigh, clearly appearing exhausted, how did Mingyu miss your under-eye bags again?

"you wanna get back to your dorm and sleep? i can tell them i am leaving for the day, hmm?" he asked, voice so gentle, as if afraid if he raises even a decibel more, he is going to disrupt your daze.

"you don't have to, i can walk back myself."

"hmm, i know you can. i want to though." with that he ran towards Seungcheol, to inform him about him leaving early.

_______________________

ever since your hangout at the basketball court, Mingyu had been following you around like a puppy, not that you hated it but it was just something very new to you.

deep-down, some part of you had believed that you had this tendency to make people around you feel lonely, all of your friendships met the same end. different people but similar reasons every single time, always met with "you are always so tired and lost", but it was not that, you could not disclose the real reasons so you always chose to distance yourself.

so when Kim Mingyu in all his golden retriever glory started looking out for the signs of your tiredness, and carrying around your favorite caffeinated drink, a part of you had wondered, just how long until he gets exhausted and leaves too? what if a day comes when you scare him away?

Mingyu had noticed that not only you were academically inclined, but you were also a reader and admirer of literature, otherwise there is no explanation to your never-ending amount of novels.

during one of your study sessions when you both had just finished a session of testing each other through anki cards — you had suggested to take a break.

he waited for you pop out your earphones but to his surprise you pulled out a rather withered paperback, 'the love of the last tycoon'.

he was familiar with "The Great Gatsby", but had never heard of this book.

as if you could read the confusion on his face,"it is an unfinished book" words leaving your lips without much forethought.

somehow that extended his confusion further "unfinished? what do you mean? why is it being printed then?"

"who said stories had to finish to be remembered? sometimes unfinished ones haunt you more."

"hmm, I'll take your word for it, tell me more about it."

_______________________

that is how it started, this little ritual of you talking about your favorite pieces of fiction, the backstories of the writers.

that is also how, he had ended up with a copy of the love of the last tycoon. a gift from you, annotated with all your favorite parts and insights.

Wonwoo had been complaining about barely seeing Mingyu, ever since he had started to have study sessions with you.

"so you talk to your girl now? did you forget who helped you instigate everything?"

"you know that's not how it is, hyung."

"i have not seen you in days, what do the both of you even do? what is keeping you so busy?"

Mingyu finds himself at a loss of words, he does not know either. you had him spellbound, wrapped him around your finger like your braids. you who wore dainty pearl necklaces, spoke of your interests with such conviction. all he can think of is the trance state he enters and does not even remember the time passing when you are around.

so scared to even breathe, in-case it makes you hesitate and stop talking about your interests.

he couldn't help but notice.

you always flinched whenever the very specific ringtone you had set up for your parents popped up on your screen.

more often than not, you would ignore the buzz after silencing the call and let it ring entirely. he knew it was not his place to ask but he could not stop himself from doing so.

"why do you never pick up his calls?.

it felt like the color had drained from your face "…whose?"

"your dad." he said, stating the obvious.

your expression shifted, "he just likes to casually check up on me, i do call both of them back when i get back to my dorm." a lie, you had lost the count of the calls you had screened from both of your parents.

wanting to break free from their supervision, but the sleepless nights you had spent laying awake in your dorm room, wanting nothing more than your mother's comforting hug around you.

you get reminded of laying your head on her lap, as she ran her fingers lovingly through your hair locks, an action which had always lulled you to slumber.

but homesickness was the last thing you wanted to discuss with Mingyu, not wanting to burden him to pity you.

so you lie, and breeze past it.

you had an inkling, you could sense that his interest in you was not merely friendly. the fondness he held for you, the patience on the days you felt too frustrated to study and his reassurance, you did not want to break his perception of you.

Mingyu knew he had toed on a risky line of questioning, you had been so forthcoming and open with him till now, so this sudden silence enveloping you at the mention of your family threw him a little off guard.

it is the only line that you both had been circling around, he had always felt you were too closed off about your personal life, and he did not want to invade. even if it felt like it would be a final piece of puzzle he would need to fully understand you, so he takes a step back. not wanting to make you feel like you were being interrogated for a job.

however, at the back of his mind, he always wondered. who could even think about hurting you? you bothered no one, lived your life quietly.

and for once in his life, he wished that for his intuition to be wrong.

their voices were muffled.

suffocated; through the door of her room, her mother had pushed her to escape— she did not want to escape, but something about her father's voice was volcanic. it has always been unpredictable, his mood.

some days, he would bring her favorite fruit up to her room, flowers for her mom, chanting about a deal going good at work— but next day, the very sweet demeanor would take form of a tumultuous storm.

she could hear his piercing voice now, sharp as knife and as menacing as an icicle, she could hear the thumping sound of a body hurting another — muffled screams followed by yet another sound of striking — glass shattering, probably the china her mother had set for dinner.

she wanted to scream, wanted to run out and take the strikes instead of her, wanted to reach for the door but all she could see was a shadow in front of her — hindering her awareness.

_______________________

you were not sure what time it was, you just remember jolting awake and the tears running through your face as you struggled to breathe.

so you do what you do the best, you escape. grabbed your hoodie and haphazardly put it on, you are not sure why you had texted him, but you did.

"you awake?"

a call came back, in what felt like less than a minute.

________________________

(begging y'all to play 'the night we met' by lord huron)

the sky tonight was particularly cloudy, not a star in sight.

the swing you had found a refuge in tonight made a screeching sound, as if somehow feeling as weighed down as you.

you could hear footsteps approaching, knowing whose they were so you don't even bother checking. there is no one else who would come running at the break of dawn.

"are you okay?" he regretted these three words the moment they left his mouth, they felt wrong. he had thought of every possible hypothetical situation while he ran all the way to playground, near your dormitory.

of course you were not okay. he cursed himself internally.

In all the four months he had known you, you had never texted him this late of an hour.

no hypothetical scenario prepared him for this though.

you looked so fragile, so much smaller than you already were. your shoulders all weighed downed and rounded. when you looked up at him, eyes still filled with tears you were trying to hold back, lips trembling and bitten, your braid half undone as a storm had passed through you in the twelve hours he hadn't seen you.

you could not bring yourself to answer his question, and he had never felt this helpless — one wrong word and he was afraid he would break you.

he did what he knew the best, took the swing right beside yours.

"do you want to talk about it?" he asked, but only got your light sniffles and a head shake of disapproval. if he had felt helpless before, the feeling of distraught had replaced it as he was at a loss for words.

he could sit with you here until you calmed down, that is the easier path he could take. but knowing himself, he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully if he doesn't make you smile before he drops you off to your dorm.

"hmm, lets go somewhere then?" and like a miracle you finally faced him fully, glint of curiosity in your ebony eyes. "but where? it is pretty early." your voice sounded scratchy, a sound even you could not recognize as yours.

"i am pretty sure the 24/7 convenience stores live up to their name in Seoul" with that he takes you hand, wincing at how cold it is as he helps you steady yourself.

"aren't you feeling cold?" he isn't waiting for your reply now, already shimming out of his jacket and wrapping it around you. the hems reaching your mid thigh swallowing you in an almost dress.

when Mingyu had suggested an outing, you had expected a simple trip to the nearest convenience store, but then he held your hand and took you to the parking lot across the university and helped you settle in his car.

"so where are we going exactly?" you chimed, the tremble in your voice quieter now.

"somewhere calmer, maybe grab some early breakfast? do you like noodles?"

"depends on which noodles."

"janchi guksu?" he could see your face light up at the mention of a warm bowl of noodles, and he was sure if he looked at you for a second more he would combust due to the urge of hugging you tight.

he had always been alert on road, but there was another layer of attentiveness.

you on contrary, were busy inspecting his car, your nose instantly sniffing and slightly scrunching taking in the remnants of his cologne. his car, like him emitted warmth, a little photo frame of his family on the dashboard, plush key-chains on the rear-view mirror, blankets and pillows you could see in the backseat.

you could feel Mingyu eyeing you curiously, glancing at you from time to time.

"are you feeling better now?" his voice gentle and careful.

"much better." you give him an almost smile, and just like that, you could see some light cracking in between the armor you had created to hold your fortress.

and for some very strange reason, you did not mind it.

regardless to say, you have had your fair share of experiences with men — mostly them trying to press out information out of you and you being reluctant to open up. for the first time, you wanted someone to know you and you felt like you had deterred him from doing so that already.

you have given it a thought, it is because he is present but not invasive, he wants to know, really know you, in the slow way because as they say only fools rush in. it was new, a good kind.

interfering your reverie, the car stops in front of a very humble appearing eatery, the narrow opening aside from the vintage looking menus on the glass window, not more than eight tables in view.

Mingyu hops out first, jogging to your side of the door to open it for you, always the gentleman.

The smell of broth hits you first, indicating towards a promising bowl of slurpy goodness.

"oh! Mingyu! long time, son!" the comforting voice filled with affectionate recognition echoes in between the narrow walls.

"aunty!! yes, it has been a while, just medical school keeping me away." his tone mirroring hers, "are you sure its just the medical school keeping you away?" the older women chimes narrowing her eyes at him.

you could feel her eyes falling on you and curiosity rearing behind her perceptive eyes, "hmm, what are you doing just standing? introduce me to her." she says swatting Mingyu's arm playfully.

"ah, right..." you could sense him struggling, not because he did not know how to introduce you, but between preventing a label that would make you uncomfortable, so you chime in, relieving him of his very own purgatory. "I'm his classmate, i asked him to bring me to somewhere comforting."

that had seemed to be enough prying for the lady, as she still gazed at Mingyu, perhaps talking in between the looks. she asks him about what he would like to eat, to which he replied with just two servings of his regular.

Regular, for him being comically large bowls of noodles as breakfast.

The noodles provided you nourishment and sense of satiety you had not felt in weeks, by the time you were done scooping the leftover soup, dawn had already commenced its waning, the sky turning into lighter shades of blue.

the clouds still not dissipated, exiting the eatery you were hit with the subtle scent of petrichor, indicating the upcoming drizzle, the air heavy with humidity. observing the indicators Mingyu pulled at the hem of your now stripped down to just a shirt to pull your attention.

"do you have any lectures today?" he inquired with a glint of hope of you to revert negatively, for the first time ever.

"just the anatomy lab, we both have it together after lunch, remember?" you gave him such a quizzical look, baffled with his sudden forgetfulness of the schedule you both had been circling around for months.

Mingyu was baffled at his own self too, because he could not believe this very domestic morning he had just spent with you, needless to say it, he would come out running again if he has to if it ended in grabbing a breakfast with you.

________________________

the car once filled with silence of your heavy emotions was now echoing with soft melodies of the ballads you had put on, but there was something else too — a new layer of cultivated comfort between the two of you.

"do you usually listen to old ballads?" Mingyu asked, making you pause in between the soft humming.

"i do, something very human about older songs." your eyes, now filled with soft glow. "don't you think?"

"well, they certainly do make me feel very nostalgic, so I'll have to agree." he said, nodding softly in agreement.

"are you going to go back to sleep after i drop you off?" he follows up.

"no, i don't think so. why? do you have any other ideas?"

"hmm, do you want me to surprise you with it? or do you prefer to know my ideas?"

"i mean, i followed you blindly the whole night….surprise me" your voice almost childlike now, filled with anticipation.

so when, his car made a halt at a bus station, you were left confused.

"a bus station?" you ask, eyeing him curiously. "this is supposed to be a surprise?"

"it is not just any bus station." his hand now finding its place where his heart lay. "this is where i saw you for the very first time."

your confounded expressions slowly filling with recognition.

"you wanna come out? recreate the night we met?" his voice now filled with mischief.

and how could someone say no to Kim Mingyu, so you agree and he helps you out of the car yet again. both of you now sitting on the exact same bench. the bus stop stayed the same but the dynamics between the two of you now taken a drastic shift.

"you did not even look at me once you know? back then, not at the bus stop and even during the ride to the university." something softer now layering his words.

"i was just too focused on the songs i was listening to, felt at peace that day." your soft voice chiming.

"i had always been curious about that but never came around to ask you, why were you so at peace." he said attempting to prompt an answer from you. "it had been late, you were alone anyone else would have been vigilant. yet, you looked unbounded….why?". his words were wrapped in gentleness, as if afraid of pushing you over the threshold.

you did not want to lie to him, not again, not this time. you wanted to let the light in. something in you shifting, breaking open. a part of you forgiving yourself and coming to accept the comfort he was radiating.

"my father….he..he is abusive." your voice hesitant, your eyes looking at him expecting aversion, but his face remained gentle. so you continue, "coming to this university was my escape, that night when you first saw me…that was the first night in a very long time i felt like i was able to breathe." your eyes now a little misty, "i am able to sleep properly now, on most days usually but some things don't change instantly, hence the always tired look." a nervous chuckle left your system.

Mingyu felt his heart shattering into little pieces, he hated that his intuition never missed. he saw this coming ever since the last conversation you both had shared at the library. yet, nothing could have prepared him for this moment.

you looked so vulnerable and small. two qualities that were the opposite of how he perceived you. to him you were the embodiment of compassion and peace. he hated seeing you this way.

"can i give you a hug?" he asked, voice small almost hesitant, he did not know how to comfort you with words. so, he chose his body to express what his mind couldn't.

to his surprise, you accepted. hugged him so tight as you both sat there. at the same bus station but under very different circumstances.

the sky finally cleared up, now filled with the sound of birds chirping the first song of morning.

safe to say, he could not stop thinking about you. you in his gentle embrace, the mellowed scent of your bergamot perfume invading his senses.

truly, your thoughts followed his like afterthoughts, clinging onto him like phantoms.

but there was something that bothered him, this dread in the pit of his stomach he tried his best to ignore it, spending as much time as possible with you, as much as closeness you would allow him to reach.

you were not friends, but not lovers either. both of you toeing this gentle line between the two and somehow it worked. you appeared lighter, shared things about your childhood more, introduced him to your mother on rare calls. you even start becoming clingy towards him.

his friends were sick of him, because he would just never shut up about you. he did not know it yet, but there had been bets set up between the boys, about until how long Mingyu finally gives in to urges and ask you out officially.

something felt wrong today, you were too quiet and meek. it felt different from your usual tiredness, Mingyu could see the remnants of lip bites while you still continue to bite the inside of your cheek. it was a habit of yours to self-soothe but it had never escalated to this extent.

"did you sleep alright?" he asked, voice filled with concern.

"nah, i was revising the concepts for the test today…you?" your voice seemed to have grown heavy, like it does when someone is holding back their tears.

"got a few hours in, you look famished…take a nap." Mingyu now patting your head gently, "I'll wake you up in a while yea?"

"I'd rather go to my room and nap." you hands reaching to gather your scattered notes and pens across the table.

"alright, I'll wake you up for an early morning session then? get some proper rest while you are at it" Mingyu now, carrying your tote for you, ready to drop you off to your dorm.

he was always like this, warm, familiar and always looking out for you.

like he would not let any single bad thing happen to you.

_______________________

everything felt so easy with Mingyu, like his presence transcended time, into something gentler something softer laced with care.

so when you wake up due to the concurrent ringing of your cellphone, you naturally assumed it to be him, waking you up like he had promised to for a early morning study session at the reading room.

what you did not expect was the hysteric screams of your aunt, urging you to return back to your hometown.

you knew life was sailing too smoothly, until it was not.

they say when it rains, it pours. but it felt like the floodgates had been opened, the barriers lying crestfallen.

you do not even remember what you packed and how you packed, your mind completely blanking out, you do remember the ride back…you remember the dread that had filled you, remember wanting his gentleness and assurance.

this is what you had feared the most, but you knew yourself to the core.

you had to leave. if it meant that you had to protect yourself, you would.

and you did.

footnotes: i really hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as i did writing it. it is my first time publishing anything on the internet for people to consume, i would appreciate all the feedback i can get. i really cannot single out a date for when the part two is gonna be out, but if you want to be tagged in it, please reach out.

also moodboard for part oneeeee

[chogiwaw]

popcorn is popping inside the microwave🍿

[hopecutie]

loser like me (part one)

there is nothing ironic about show choir, except when you're a junior terrified to audition and end up a lead vocalist. or when you find a place to belong, then are forced to transfer schools and lose touch with everyone. or when, years later, you're presented with the opportunity to coach your former glee club to victory—alongside your old co-vocalist, boo seungkwan. will you find the courage to sing again after all this time? will you and seungkwan pick up where you left off? and will your high school *finally* win nationals?

pairing: boo seungkwan x fem!reader word count: 13.2k for part one warnings: anxiety, stress, academic pressure, reader's parents are controlling with high expectations, mentions of food; additional part two warnings include suggestive themes, smut, alcohol use, burnout—all among adults! please note part one is rated e for everyone; part two will not be - i will be blocking minors and blogs without ages once that goes live. tags: high school au, friends to almost lovers, angst, songfic in the sense that there are song lyrics and optional song links throughout (after all, it is a fic based on the glee universe), ensemble cast as portrayed by other idols (twice, shinee, bts), additional part two tags include time jump, enemies (?) to lovers, more idols from more groups, etc. (as with the warnings, stay tuned). note from the author: and here it is, my contribution to the blockbusters collab! kicking off my list of thank you's with an absolutely iconic trio: luna @belovedgyu, izzy @jakedustry, and rae @nerdycheol. agh! how can i ever repay you for this opportunity?! you are all remarkable, a constant source of wisdom and support for myself and my fellow collab writers throughout the journey. speaking of: the blockbusters crew! we did it! i cannot wait to visit the worlds you've each built with imagination and care over the last few months. it's been a delight to work alongside such creative, kind people for my first-ever collab: @chogiwaw, @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @caratchronicles, @livmarauder, @cxffecoupx, @cherrymayz, @pomegranate-teardrop, @mellowgyu, @gentleisa, @luvrung, and @choco-scoups. everyone go read their work NOWWWW! special shoutout to miss liv of livmarauder fame, who beta read this first part and was an incredible cheerleader from the start of this! and last but certainly not least: to my dearest jamais vu, @joshujin and @jjknj—the space we share in this world is proof that being a part of something special makes you special. thank you for seeing me. i love y'all down bad ffr idgaf #gleekwan4evr [i make an "L" with my left hand and place it on my forehead] alrighty, i'm done yapping for now. aaaaand action!

In any and every universe, there is no denying that Boo Seungkwan is a star.

And no, he's never felt the need to shy away from it—though if you ask any of his teammates on the junior varsity volleyball team, they'll say (lovingly, fondly) that they wish he did. Especially during practice, where his need to commit to the bit means everyone has to suffer the consequences of running five extra laps around the court.

But the magic in seeing him play defense is undeniable. Him in his brightly colored jersey, zooming around as libero, the fire within him illuminating the entire court and his fellow players.

It's why he works best in a team. It's why he's a superstar. And it's why, with an unsung song in his heart, his eyes linger for a moment on a flyer pinned to Maplewood High's bulletin board:

JOIN MAPLEWOOD'S FIRST-EVER GLEE CLUB THIS THURSDAY @ CHOIR ROOM ALL ARE WELCOME

Hours later after your Key Club meeting, you walk past the same flyer and immediately snap your gaze away. As if you intruded on something private. Or rather, as if the flyer intruded on something of yours, deliberately hidden and dimmed.

To your left, Dahyun vents about her 96/100 score in history class. She notices you flinching away from the wall and interrupts herself with a "Wait, what was that?"

Stopped in the middle of the hallway, she cranes her neck and narrows her eyes towards you. As your best friend since junior high, Dahyun knows you a little too well. You do your best to make eye contact without blinking, yet your eyes can't help but shift back to the board.

"There it is again. Hm…" Dahyun taps on her chin inquisitively. She follows your line of sight and notices the Glee Club flyer. "Ah! I've cracked the case!"

She reads, then proceeds to stare at you with wide eyes. "Oh my gosh, let's go!"

"What?! No! No way. We are not going. What would we even do there?!"

"Um…sing? That's the whole point?" Dahyun groans. "Come on, I know you want to go. You love to sing!"

"Well, 'love' is a strong word. I only sort of like singing." You're hardly convincing yourself at this point.

"Oh, you sweet summer child," says Dahyun. "I'm not gonna peer pressure you into going, but I don't know. I think it might be a lot of fun. And I think it might make you happy."

"I just don't have time, between college prep and homework and—"

Dahyun scoffs dramatically. "Ugh okay, we get it! You're boring!"

You let out a giggle in response as she continues. "Look, why don't we just go check it out? And if we don't like it, we leave!"

"Okay fine, we'll go. But I am not singing!"

Dahyun loops her arm through yours with a melodic string of "sure sure sure"s as you walk to the school parking lot.

Thursday arrives faster than you expected, your nerves taking over as you walk into the choir room on your own.

A few other students are already there. You recognize Vernon from AP Chem, an easygoing guy even when you've almost blown up a few lab experiments. Then, there's Chan, who you've known since elementary school. You even spent a few years carpooling together since you live in the same neighborhood; though you both orbit in different circles at Maplewood, you still consider him a good friend.

Chan's busy chatting with someone, so now you're unsure of where to sit. That is, until a girl waves. You quickly look back to make sure it's directed at you and confirm that yep, it sure is.

You wave back and head to the seat next to her, worried she'll change her mind for some reason.

"Hi," you say, trying not to sound frightened.

"Hey!" she responds confidently. "You're in my PE class, right?"

You pause to take in her wavy brunette hair, the small mole on her nose and her wide eyes, then place them in a memory. A few weeks ago, you stepped out of the locker room and heard hushed whispers around you. You paid it no mind, only to have this girl tap you on the shoulder and point to the toilet paper stuck on your shoe. She then glared at the girls laughing, which had them scurrying away to the gym. She gave you a wink and a wave then walked off, leaving you in a daze.

You shake yourself out of the thought. "Oh my gosh, you're the toilet paper girl. Wait no. I mean, you told me about my toilet paper."

She smiles. "I'm Jihyo. I didn't know you sang!"

"Oh, does she ever." You immediately recognize Dahyun's voice, as Jihyo gestures at an empty seat next to you guys so she can join. "Hey hey, Jihyo."

You stare at your friend, puzzled, and Dahyun responds with a simple "We're in French class together!" Dahyun then points at you. "She has the most beautiful voice. You're gonna freak out when you hear it."

You're ready to deny that claim when a gentleman in a grey turtleneck, fuzzy olive cardigan, and slacks walks in. He sets his satchel atop the grand piano at the center of the room, then turns to the class.

"Good afternoon, everyone! I see some familiar faces from Literature class. And to those of you I haven't met, my name is Jinki but here, in these halls, I go by Mr. Lee."

"Now," Mr. Lee continues. "I'm sure if you're here, it's because you want to sing. Well, you've come the right place and…you're all in! Welcome to Maplewood's inaugural Glee Club."

Everyone looks at each other surprised. Chan speaks up to say what's on everyone's mind, his brows furrowed: "Huh? But you haven't heard us sing!"

"Yes, of course! Excellent segue." Mr. Lee walks up to the whiteboard and takes a dry erase marker to it. With a flourish, he writes the word DUETS. He then grabs a stack of post-its from his bag.

"As we rehearse for show choir competitions, we'll also have assignments to refine our performance skills," Mr. Lee explains as he passes out post-its to the end of each row. "Everyone please write down your name. Our first theme will have you pair up at random and prepare a duet. Consider it a way to break the ice and gain some confidence in yourselves and in each other."

Mr. Lee procures a hat from his bag, walking around the room collecting everyone's folded up notes. "You see, Glee is about teamwork. It's not about one person being the star. It's more…like a constellation that glows brighter than we ever could on our own.

"If you showed up here today, it's because you want to share your light with others. You want to open your hearts to something special—and by its very definition, glee is about opening yourself up to joy."

Mr. Lee pauses with a self-aware chuckle. "So with that rather sappy beginning to our first meeting, I hope you guys stick around and take something away from this journey we'll be on together. Now let's pick out some names, starting with…Vernon!"

"Yes sir," Vernon says with a little salute to Mr. Lee, then draws a name with zero suspense. He chooses Dahyun. After a few other pairs are formed, Jihyo draws Chan. You follow right after, momentarily swirling your hand around the remaining folded notes.

"Seungkwan?" your voice goes up as if asking a question.

You scan the room then see a boy in the first row raise his hand. Seungkwan wears a long flannel and jean shorts, soft brown bangs framing his face. He holds a Maplewood Volleyball water bottle, and you recognize him as the Junior Varsity team captain. You attended a game once—after Dahyun practically begged to go because they advertised a t-shirt cannon—and remember him zooming around the court in a neon orange shirt with "BOO" written on it, the two O's decorated as oranges.

You go take a seat next to Seungkwan. "Alright, we've got all our duos!" Mr. Lee announces. "Please take these last five minutes or so to introduce yourselves and decide on next steps."

The room bursts into a flurry of voices as you and Seungkwan try easing into conversation.

"Hello," he says shyly, giving you a small bow with his head.

"Hi," your voice just a few decibels above a whisper as you offer him your name. Seungkwan repeats it back to you. His demeanor mirrors the excitement you're feeling at that moment.

"I've seen you play before," you blurt out, catching yourself off guard. "You're really good! Singing on a stage is probably gonna be a piece of cake for you."

Seungkwan taps his fingers on his legs and sucks in a breath through gritted teeth. "I'm a bit nervous, to be honest. I really just sing in the shower nowadays. What about you?"

Although you don't necessarily enjoy that Seungkwan's nervous, you do feel reassured by his honesty. "Oh, I'm terrified. I've never sung in front of anyone—except maybe my parents when they walk past the bathroom."

"There's nothing like a shower concert," Seungkwan notes, his tone a bit playful. "The acoustics are incredible in there, really."

"Right?! Perfect for a concert dedicated to my adoring fans," you add.

"Exactly! I love when the shampoo starts chanting." He puts his hands on either side of his mouth. "Woo! Encore, encore, encore!"

"Where would I be without my loyal shampoo?" You pretend to wipe a stray tear from your eye, which makes the two of you giggle and lean into each other.

"So." Seungkwan clears his throat, then asks, "How should we go about this? Maybe we should pick some songs on our own then get together and discuss?"

"Yeah, sounds perfect," you say. You end up exchanging numbers, and agree to make plans following your big math test next week. To this, Seungkwan makes an impressed noise—after all, you are part of a select few juniors taking a course exclusive to seniors.

The choir room is starting to empty and you remember your mom is waiting for you. As you both gather your things, Seungkwan pauses to stare at you. He fidgets with the sleeves of his flannel then goes, "Um…good luck on your test. I'm sure you'll do really good." The genuine, sweet way he says it causes a small blush to travel to your face.

"Thanks." The word feels like it floats out of your mouth like a piece of cotton candy, gently falling onto the floor and dissolving.

He gives you a quiet "bye" as he leaves. You follow shortly after and go outside to meet your mom, who spends the drive home rattling off about college acceptance rates or whatever she's fixated on today. You only half-listen as you replay the afternoon in your head.

And maybe you replay your exchange with Seungkwan a bit more than other things. But you would never admit that out loud.

You've spent the better part of your weekend at your desk, working through all your schoolwork and studying. Usually, you're good at getting into it, taking a break, then getting back into it once more.

But not this weekend. You find yourself distracted, going through your music library in hopes of finding a perfect suggestion for you and Seungkwan's duet. You don't know his vocal style or range. You don't even know if he's a good singer. Still, you compile an array of options that at least you would feel comfortable singing.

Before you know it, evening has arrived. You're definitely behind schedule. To make up for lost time researching songs, you focus in again with your new playlist in the background.

As you ferociously annotate your copy of The Great Gatsby, something starts playing and you know this is the song. Screw it, you think as you get up to grab your phone from your nightstand.

you: hey! ✨

Immediately, a response.

seungkwan: hi!

seungkwan: wait hold on… shouldn't you be studying, ma'am? 🫵🤨

you: 🙄🙄🙄

seungkwan: i can't have my duet partner failing math

you: i'm not FAILING, seungkwan. i actually have been studying. but i also am here with a song i think we could do for our duet

seungkwan: i'm all ears 👂

You send a link to the song, then wait a few minutes for a text back. Oh no, he hates it, you worry.

Finally, your phone dings. "i love it. yes. let's do it." You don't notice how much you've been smiling during this exchange until your cheeks start to hurt.

you: amazing! wanna meet tuesday after school so we can practice?

seungkwan: sounds like a plan ☺️

It takes everything in you not to sprint out of the classroom as soon as the bell rings. You stop by your locker to grab sheet music, then all but power walk to the choir room.

You hear Seungkwan before you see him. He plunks out a few notes at the piano, his lips in a focused pout.

"Boo!" you yell as you come up next to him. Seungkwan lets out a shriek, which startles you. You then dissolve into giggles, nearly falling to the ground as he clutches his chest to calm himself down.

"Ha ha. I get it. Boo. Very funny," he deadpans, staring at you judgmentally.

"I'm sorry, I just saw you were so focused and I couldn't help it," you confess, still gathering yourself from your laughing fit.

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow. "Apology NOT accepted," he jokes. "But I will learn to forgive. In the meantime, I guess I'll enjoy these strawberry croissants from The Lima Bean all on my own." He lets out a dramatic sigh as he gestures to a box seated next to him on the piano bench.

"No way!" You exclaim. "They're my favorite. How did you know?!"

Seungkwan tries his best to keep his poker face. "I did not know that. But they're my favorite, too. Which is why it'll be so easy to eat both."

You frown and cross your arms in protest. Your expression immediately makes him crack.

"You look like I just kicked a puppy in front of you or something."

"Nuh uh!" You object. "This is worse! Gimme my croissant!"

You go to grab the box from him, but Seungkwan's reflexes are too quick for you. You curse under your breath, for your beloved strawberry croissant is being held captive by a literal volleyball player. Suddenly you're both running around the choir room like you're kids on a playground.

After what feels like hours of this, the perfect play manifests: Seungkwan stands on his tiptoes right in front of you, the box held high above his head, and you wrap your arms around his torso. Seungkwan, completely disarmed by this, makes a startled sound and brings his arms around you.

"Hah! Finally!" You rejoice, but are too tired to turn around and grab the pastry box. You lean into Seungkwan for a moment too long, only becoming aware of what's happening when you can smell his laundry detergent: fresh with the slightest touch of floral.

Oh. Right. You remember why you're here in the first place, shuffling out of Seungkwan's embrace. He's flushed red, holding out the box to you while staring at the floor in front of him. "Alright, you win," he squeaks out.

You grab the box, panicked, and decide to pivot the conversation. "Should we um…should we practice now? Maybe treats after, as a reward?"

Seungkwan nods as you both go on the bench together and take in the sheet music. With no fanfare or theatrics, he places his fingers on the keys and sings the first few notes of Lay Me Down by Sam Smith.

Yes, I do, I believe / That one day I will be where I was / Right there, right next to you / And it's hard, the days just seem so dark / The moon, the stars are nothing without you

You stare at Seungkwan in awe. His voice is rich, grounding, like moonlight peering through a window. It's a voice that cradles the words he's singing with care. A voice that confesses without hesitation, reaching to you, inviting you in to sing along.

To understand, to let yourself be understood. So you join in at the chorus, and you each find your key, like two baby deer learning to walk, nudging each other to harmonize.

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you / And make sure you're all right? / I'll take care of you / I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

Seungkwan presses on the last note, your voice and his blending together with the sound of the piano. It all clicks into place. You're both mesmerized.

"Wow," he exhales. "Your voice is beautiful."

"I could say the same about yours," you respond. Without saying another word, you both know there is no going back from whatever magic just transpired. Not that you want to. And looking into his eyes, you don't think Seungkwan wants to go back either.

He brings you to reality with a simple question: "Croissant?" Next thing you know, you're sitting on the floor of the choir room, not a single moment of silence between the two of you. You talk about your early interest in music and briefly taking lessons. You tell him about your parents: how their love means ensuring you never struggle the way they did, which meant taking you out of those lessons in favor of something more practical. You tell him about your favorite artists and albums and musicals, how they've become your safe space away from all the expectations placed upon you to succeed.

Seungkwan echoes your candidness and tells you about his years in church choir, how he loved being in the spotlight. He tells you how along the way, he left it behind in favor of playing sports, because being a boy who sings held a stigma around it that he gathered he should be afraid of. He tells you how his favorite thing is making other people happy, how he joined Glee Club as a way to do something for his truest self.

In all this, you don't notice the sun setting outside or the school janitor clocking in or the fact that Seungkwan did indeed eat his entire croissant and half of yours. You also don't see the multiple missed calls and texts from your mom, asking where you are.

"Oh my god," you jolt yourself off the floor and pace around, gathering your things. "Oh my god."

Seungkwan can only follow your movements, confused. "I gotta go. My mom's been waiting for me," you tell him.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry," he apologizes as he starts cleaning up. "I hope you're not in any trouble."

You can feel your heartbeat racing. "For what it's worth," Seungkwan states, interrupting your frantic thoughts. "This was the most fun I've had all week. Dare I say all year."

You scoff at that as you manage to still your breathing. "Yeah, me too."

You quickly say your goodbyes and run to the school exit. Once you approach the car, you swing the door open and stumble into the passenger side. You're winded, yet you still dive into an apology and an excuse for why you're so late.

"Studying! So much studying! Phew! So tired!" You can tell your mom isn't buying any of it, and you know she's particularly disappointed when the rest of the car ride is spent in complete silence. The more time passes, the more anxiety builds in the pit of your stomach. You know the best thing to do is to stay quiet, so you march to your room as soon as you arrive home.

You have plenty of homework to get through, but deep down, all you want to do is research more songs for Glee Club. You don't allow yourself the time to do that, however, deciding you need to work as a means to balance out what a lovely time you had. Some kind of repenting or whatever.

Admittedly, you listen to Lay Me Down on a loop the whole night. To prepare for your performance, of course. Definitely not for daydreaming purposes.

The next meeting takes place in the school auditorium. As you walk in, everyone is scattered around chatting with their duet partners. You find Seungkwan sitting quietly a few rows back, headphones in and likely listening to your song.

After what happened with your mom, it was him who suggested practicing during lunch instead of after school. That unfortunately meant keeping your yapping to a minimum in favor of rehearsing. But you'd started texting almost non-stop throughout the day, so it didn't feel like you were missing out on quality time (though you wouldn't mind yapping more in person).

For your performance, you agreed on a simple dress code: black and white. Seungkwan wears a ruffled white dress shirt paired with a structured black blazer and jeans. Meanwhile, you opted for a pleated black and white colorblock dress. You question if you were overdressed, then see someone walk in like they're going to a renaissance fair. Glee Club sure is something else.

As soon as Seungkwan sees you, he sits up straighter and flashes you a giant smile. He pats the seat next to him as you give him a "hey" and plop yourself down. You make a grabby hand toward one of his earbuds. He passes it to you with a wink and you proceed to sit together in comfortable silence, listening to your song once more.

Mr. Lee walks onto the stage, delighted as he takes in the space. "You guys really came through for our first assignment. How's everyone feeling?" The students all cheer in response. As he goes through the afternoon's logistics, you catch a glimpse of Dahyun and Vernon situating themselves on stage. They're both in their best 2000s-era punk outfits: her in Converse, fingerless gloves, and a neck tie, him in a graphic tee and baggy jeans, holding an electric guitar.

The stage lights come on as they stand center stage, right behind microphone stands. Vernon lifts up his hand to shield his eyes from the lights. "Whoa," he says. "Gotta get used to this."

"So…this is a throwback," Vernon continues. "It's a good song though, so hope you guys like it."

"Rock and roll!" Dahyun yells off-mic, posing to the audience with a "rock on" sign and garnering a few chuckles. Vernon starts strumming along to a backing track of Complicated by Avril Lavigne. Dahyun takes the beginning part—

Uh-huh, life's like this / Uh-huh, uh-huh / That's the way it is

—then Vernon hops in for the first verse:

Chill out, whatcha yellin' for? / Lay back, it's all been done before / And if you could only let it be / You will see

About halfway through, some people take out their phones and turn on their flashlights as if at a concert. Dahyun and Vernon spend most of the song behind their mics and on occasion looking to each other, bopping their heads to the beat. It's simple and understated with their charming stage presence. You can tell both of them are having the best time performing.

The end is met with roaring applause as they walk back to their seats. Following them are two girls in prom dresses singing "Dancing Queen" by ABBA, then Chan and Jihyo. Chan wears his best pop star fit featuring a fedora and attempts to do an arm wave dance move as the stage crew resets. He's always been quite the performer, your time carpooling as kids featuring him belting his heart out to all the Top 40 hits.

Meanwhile, Jihyo matches Chan's it boy vibe with her own it girl outfit: boot-cut jeans, crisp white sneakers, and a velvet zip-up hoodie. The two have prepared Rihanna & Ne-Yo's Hate That I Love You with a whole routine choreographed, Chan doing a hat trick as he and Jihyo hit a high note that they harmonize perfectly on ("and I hate that I love you so"). It's incredible and you're in disbelief that you share a classroom with them.

As they reach the final chorus, Seungkwan nudges you. You forgot you had to perform—and that you're up next. As the duo preceding you takes their bows, Chan stays back to help wheel the piano onto the front of the stage along with an extremely tall guy that you recognize as Mingyu, Seungkwan's best friend and teammate. He pats Seungkwan on the shoulder and gives you a thumbs-up.

During your rehearsals, you and Seungkwan tried a few different configurations for performing and ultimately decided on sitting at the piano bench, just like the first time you sang together.

From the front row, Mr. Lee indicates that you're good to go and Seungkwan's fingers graze the keys. It becomes clearer each time that when you're here, accompanied by music, you're not flooded by overthinking. All that exists is the present, the way your two voices swim around one another with an ease you can't quite wrap your mind around. You are simply buoyed by the crescendo, all the way through the end of the song. Except this time, rather than being met by an awe-struck silence, a roar of applause startles you.

Seungkwan and you take your bows, the other students somehow growing louder and after a moment to take it all in, you walk offstage and back to your seats.

You briefly notice that Mr. Lee wipes a few tears from his eyes, gathering himself to stand in front of his seat and face the students. "I don't even know where to begin. Thank you all for bringing your A-game today. And trust me when I say this: we're gonna do amazing at our first competition! Here's to our first performances of many together!" Mr. Lee ends in leading another round of applause and bids you all farewell.

You notice how late it's gotten so you give a few rushed goodbyes to everyone including Seungkwan. You both promise to text each other later, though.

As you get into the car, your mom sees your outfit is different and much more formal than what she saw you in that morning. "Where were you?" she asks, her voice strict.

"Uh…" you trail off and rack your brain for yet another excuse. Her expression is heavy, though familiar: her scrutiny standing guard over your decisions, big and small, placed onto your shoulders with a bittersweet grin at times or with tense lips during others. Like now, for example. Your automatic response is always to scramble out an apology, to clean up your mistakes, to vow to never do whatever you did again.

But today is different. Fresh from being on stage, you remember how it felt to gaze into the crowd and see your joy mirrored after sharing something you worked so hard on. Not for accolades or approval but simply because you wanted to. You can't imagine stopping this, not yet, and you know it's now or never to tell your mom the truth.

"I…I joined Glee Club," you begin, timid. "It's singing and performing, like I used to do when I was little. Remember?"

Silence. You want to draw back, but resist. "Well, I do. I remember it being really fun and making me really happy. And I want to do it again."

Your mom taps her finger on the steering wheel, her eyes boring through the windshield as she measures out her next few words.

"Fine," she finally utters. "But if it gets in the way of your studies at all—"

"It won't," you vow.

"Okay," she says, and you know the conversation has ended. You hold back an exhale as you feel a deep-rooted tension begin to dissipate, enough to make room for a swirl of nerves and joy to reside in its place.

You won. You get to sing.

After last week's performances, Mr. Lee sent an email to everyone offering a small break before diving full-speed into rehearsing for the first show choir competition, also known as Sectionals. This of course meant there was no need for you and Seungkwan to spend lunches together, which made you more sad than you anticipated. You head down the cafeteria line, setting a plate of nachos and a side salad on your tray. As you go to grab a cookie, your hear your phone ding.

seungkwan: omg

seungkwan: guess who forgot we have nothing to practice 😂

Seungkwan follows it up with a selfie of him in the choir room wearing an "oh well" expression, rows of empty chairs behind him.

You smile to yourself as the kid behind you in line clears their throat for you to move along. "Sorry," you mumble, then grab a cookie and dash over to yours and Dahyun's usual spot.

You set your tray down at the lunch table, sitting down and wordlessly grabbing your phone to reply. "Hello to you too," Dahyun says with a mouthful of PB&J. "What's got you all giddy?"

"Nothing!" you say, attempting to be nonchalant. Your friend raises her brow at you, then looks down at your phone. "So this has nothing to do with that guy?" You see Seungkwan's selfie staring back at you from the screen, then immediately flip your phone over in embarrassment.

All you can conjure up is an ashamed, "No. Whatever. Shut up." Dahyun lets out a howl of laughter, then composes herself as you frown at your lunch.

"Hey." Dahyun's eyes soften at the shift in energy. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I will never judge you and I will always keep your secrets." She then slams her palm on the table. "Now tell me! Pleaseeeeee."

"I don't know," you groan. "I mean, I like spending time with him. But I also like spending time with you and I don't like you."

"Okay. Wow. Rude," Dahyun pulls back jokingly, pretending to be wounded. "I love you too."

"You know what I mean. I love you, obviously, but I don't like like you. And I can't tell if I like like him."

"Uh huh," she ponders. "Well, you guys would make a cute couple. The smartest, most beautiful girl in the whole entire world...with some guy who's good at volleyball. He would be very lucky to be with you." You blush, mostly at the loving praise and only partially at the thought of you and Seungkwan together.

"But seriously," Dahyun continues. "You have…kind of insane stage chemistry. We were talking about it after duets an—"

"Oh my god, you guys TALKED about us?!" you yell, wishing the ground would swallow you whole right then and there.

"Relax! We were talking about everyone," she reassures. "But mostly you two and how you'd definitely win us whatever we compete in."

At this, your brain goes a thousand miles a minute. Dahyun takes your silence as an opportunity to scarf down the rest of her sandwich. "That's crazy" is all you can verbalize. You turn your phone back around and decide to reply to Seungkwan.

you: 😭 well…at least i'll see you tomorrow

seungkwan: true 🥰

You lie to yourself and say the butterflies in your stomach are because you're looking forward to singing again—and not at all because you may or may not have a crush on Boo Seungkwan.

The lead-up to Sectionals in November are a blur. Even though Dahyun mentioned the buzz around your duet, you were still taken aback by Mr. Lee's suggestion for you and Seungkwan to be the club's two main vocalists and co-captains. You hesitated to accept, preemptively feeling the pressure to not let everyone down.

Seungkwan was ecstatic about the idea. "Should we do it?" he asked, and you could see him actively tampering down his excitement. "No pressure! What matters is that you feel happy and we're gonna sing anyways so it's fi—"

"Let's do it," you said, unwavering. With that, the team was set on curating a performance that reflected everyone's strengths. Chan became the team's assistant choreographer alongside Jihyo while Vernon agreed to help with choosing songs and working on arrangements for them. The most important job went to clever Dahyun to choose the team's name, which took her a total of three minutes to settle on.

And so, after weeks of practice, you and the Maplewood Maestros find yourselves in Grand Ridge High's auditorium for Sectionals. You sit next to Mingyu, who isn't part of the club but has become the Maestros' unofficial team parent since he's able to drive and knows how to sew, an essential skill for fixing up everyone's stage outfits.

The auditorium goes wild as the competition host comes out onto the stage. Weatherman and car dealership spokesmodel Kim Seokjin is quite the local celebrity, known for his good looks and for often reporting the weather live from his fishing boat.

"Yes, yes, thank you," nods Seokjin. "What a privilege to be in the presence of a true icon this afternoon." The crowd cheers. "Oh, you're all much too kind! But I'm not talking about me—though I am indeed an icon. I mean the three amazing show choirs performing for us!" You hear Seungkwan gasp and let out a starstruck "wow" in response to Seokjin's compliment. You didn't realize he was such a fan.

Seokjin cracks a few more jokes to break the ice, then walks through the event program. Three schools are competing for a spot at Regionals: Grand Ridge, Diamond School for Boys, and of course, Maplewood. As the host school, Grand Ridge goes first and does not hold back with a relentlessly upbeat Taylor Swift medley. From where you sit, you're able to see the judges. They're out of place, a serious bunch dressed in all black and taking in the performance with pursed lips as they scratch notes onto legal pads.

As they wrap up and Seokjin comes back to introduce the Diamond School, Mr. Lee gestures to you all to follow him. You head backstage and watch the boys from the wings. Their set is full of energy, culminating with a rendition of Can't Hold Us by Macklemore. You take a peek at the audience having a blast. Even the judges are enjoying it, or at least their toned-down definition of enjoyment.

You start feeling the pressure as Mr. Lee gathers everyone in a circle. "So this is it. I'm sure you're all nervous right now," he says to a few nods. "But you've all prepared as much as possible, so what's there to worry about? This is your time to let go, to just have fun. Don't hold back!" You look around at the faces of your fellow members, all determined in their own way. Across, Seungkwan is already staring at you, a soft smile reaching his eyes as soon as you face him.

"Please give it up for the Maplewood High Maestros!" you hear Seokjin from the stage. Seungkwan puts his hand in the middle of the circle; the Maestros follows suit. "Maestros on three," he counts down, followed by everyone yelling "Maestrooooooos!" and raising their hands up.

You could feel your heart in your eardrums as you get into places on the risers. Chan takes his position at the front of the stage, while Dahyun stands next to him and pats his arm, making a funny face to distract from his nerves. The first few notes of Treasure by Bruno Mars start and the two lock in. You sway next to three other members and sing backing vocals. "Treasure" transitions into Breakeven by The Script. It's a larger group number, with Vernon opening then all of you chiming in seamlessly. Jihyo's powerful voice soars during the bridge.

The song ends, then there's a beat of silence as you and Seungkwan find your marks. The many spotlights diligently focused on each singer in the previous number dance around the auditorium to the beat of Beyoncé's XO. Two parallel beams of light settle on you and him standing on either end of the stage.

Looking out to the crowd, you sing. The beat picks up and the entire stage lights up as the Maestros glide around, the choreography evoking something you would see in a grand ballroom with the Maestros pairing off then switching to dance with someone else.

Once the second verse hits, you and Seungkwan turn and slowly walk toward one another as you continue singing. Meanwhile, the rest of the Glee Club stands on the risers for call and response:

In the darkest night hour (In the darkest night hour) / I search through the crowd (I search through the crowd) / Your face is all that I see, I've given you everything / Baby, love me lights out

Once you both arrive at the center, the Maestros sings in unison. In all that buildup, you hadn't noticed the crowd—the judges!—were clapping along. Then, a standing ovation. An electric feeling. Alive. Exactly what you were born to feel.

The Maestros stay onstage, huddled together as the other two groups join. "Let's give one more round of applause for our performers!" Seokjin tells the audience. One of the judges walks up to the stage and gives him an envelope with the results.

"In third place…Grand Ridge Rhapsodies!" There's a few disappointed gasps from the crowd, yet the group of students to your left are satisfied and fist bumping one another. You realize the Maestros might win this, and squeeze your eyes shut like you're anticipating some kind of jumpscare during a movie.

"Okay, moment of truth," Seokjin says dramatically. "Second place goes to…the Diamond School GAM3 BO1S! That means congratulations to our Sectionals champions, the Maplewood High Maestros!"

The moment plays out for you in slow motion: Mr. Lee grabbing the trophy from Seokjin and presenting it to the students, Chan immediately plopping a big kiss on it, Dahyun and Jihyo grabbing either side of the trophy and raising it up in victory, Vernon holding it gingerly and examining it with awe. You feel yourself getting misty-eyed, and you try blinking your tears away only to see Seungkwan holding back his own.

"We did it," he pauses, incredulous. "We won."

Off the heels of your Sectionals win, the Maestros dive into Regionals preparations during the next Glee Club meeting. Mr. Lee is nowhere to be found in the choir room, which means every corner is overrun with someone coming up with choreography, strumming out song ideas, or making moodboards for new stage outfits. You sit next to Vernon, the two of you scrolling through the never-ending playlist on his laptop screen. Right as you point out a few songs as potential options, Mr. Lee walks into the room with a stack of pizza boxes and a bag of glass bottles.

The flurry of Regionals conversation becomes chatter over free lunch. Two of the younger club members scramble to Mr. Lee like hungry piranhas, immediately helping him with the pizzas. "Whoa whoa, let's all settle in real quick before we eat," he suggests. You all take your seats as Mr. Lee sets down the bag, then clasps his hands to his chest.

"Now I know we're all eager to keep our winning streak—"

"Yeah we are!" Dahyun interjects.

"However," Mr. Lee smiles. "Right now, it is very important to slow down." A pause. "You know, I was once in your shoes. Many years ago, likely when some of you were still in diapers, I was part of my own Glee Club. Sure, we had our challenges, but it was such a special time in my life. And I may not be able to go back. But I can glimpse into the past, seeing you all here, and tell you what I wish I knew then: look around, take it all in. All your accomplishments matter, even the seemingly small ones, as long as they matter to you."

"Wow, Mr. Lee," Seungkwan sniffles, a few tears welling in his eyes. "That was really cool." Vernon nudges him jokingly. The Maestros are all crying to some degree, himself included. He lightens the mood and asks: "Soooo…pizza?"

"And," Mr. Lee grabs a glass bottle and a bottle opener. "Apple cider." You hadn't noticed Jihyo materialize next to him as she grabs the opener from Mr. Lee. "Let's go, Maestros!" she yells as she pops open a bottle, some of the cider spilling on the floor as the room bursts with laughter.

In the final weeks of the semester, your weeknights are consumed with homework and final projects, and your weekends with study sessions and Key Club events you honestly forgot you signed up for. This leaves the Maestros on the backburner which means less time spent with Seungkwan, who is totally just your platonic friend you've concluded you do not have a crush on—no matter how much Dahyun and now Jihyo tease you about it.

You sit at your lunch table munching on apple slices when a familiar voice behind you asks: "Is this seat taken?" You turn around violently fast, and knock Seungkwan's plate of chili cheese fries onto him.

You stand up in a panic, fussing over his shirt. "Sorry! So sorry! I'm really sorry!"

Seungkwan frowns a bit, then takes in your worried face and his expression quickly softens. "It's okay," he murmurs.

"Oh no," Jihyo announces robotically, as if reading from a teleprompter. "We really should go get napkins. Like, right now!"

"Oh, no worries," Dahyun offers. "I got tons of napkins right h—" Jihyo elbows her, then signals at you and Seungkwan. You're still fussing over his shirt as he quietly reassures you not to worry.

""Ahhh, I mean," Dahyun gets the hint, then mimics Jihyo's stilted way of speaking earlier. "No! I don't! Guess we do have to get more napkins, Jihyo! Let's go!"

"Wait but—" you begin, then see them already halfway across the cafeteria. You grumble to yourself, knowing they're definitely not coming back with those napkins. You stare at Seungkwan, apologetic. "Have I said sorry yet?"

"Hmmm, maybe a few times," he responds. "You could make it up to me if you let me sit here?" It comes out more as a question from him, something Seungkwan does often so as to not seem too overbearing. Not that you mind ever, not even a little bit. He is your friend, after all. Yeah, you tell yourself. Just my friend.

Now that he's seated across from you, you can't stop glancing at the massive reddish-brown stain on his shirt, mortified. Seungkwan puts up a finger, asking you to wait as he opens his backpack. He takes out a volleyball hoodie, pulling it over himself. "Ta-da!" he proclaims, arms extended out. The hood part is bunched up over the lower half of his face, his round cheeks peeking out over it and smooshing into his eyes—you can tell he's beaming. Your heart stutters at the sight, and you consider if someone has ever died from cuteness aggression. To appease yourself, you reach to adjust the fabric so you can see his full face again. As you lean over, he makes a small shocked noise then freezes in place.

You nod, satisfied, then wordlessly place your chili cheese fries between you two and gesture to them. "Thank you," he says. You sit quietly, your hands bumping into one another as you share fries.

Seungkwan makes a contented sound at a bite. "Did you see they wrote an article about us?" You look at him, confused. "Us like…?" You point back and forth between you and him.

"Well yeah," he chuckles. "But the Maestros specifically. About our Sectionals performance."

"Is it bad? Good? I'm scared," you agonize.

Seungkwan turns his phone to you, opened to an article from the local paper titled "Maplewood High Maestros: The Show Choir Underdogs To Watch." At this, your eyes widen.

Seungkwan reads the article aloud. "No matter what changes, there is always one constant we can rely on. Not the sun rising with each day, nor the seasons changing. No, it's that show choir competitions at any level will be full of surprises."

The article notes the other two choirs' performances, then pivots to the Maestros. "But the biggest surprise this year were the rising stars from Maplewood High School. It is clear that each member of this group is a powerhouse in their own right, but this author cannot resist spotlighting the two vocalists leading their final song."

You can't believe you're hearing yours and Seungkwan's names next to such kind words. "With magnetic chemistry and vocals full of heart, seeing them perform together means being transported into another world. One that is brighter and saturated with a profound love for singing. There is no denying that these two are true superstars in the making."

You shake your head in disbelief. "They like us," you remark. "Seungkwan, they like us!"

With a warmth in his eyes, Seungkwan simply says: "I like us, too."

In that instant, every emotion arrives at the tip of your tongue. You want to tell Seungkwan the truth: that you also like you guys. That you like him. That singing in front of a crowd with him makes you feel invincible. That singing with him feels like home.

The bell rings. You both get up, thinking of the best way to say bye. You tuck everything you feel away for another time and instead say "Wanna eat lunch together tomorrow?" to a very enthused Seungkwan, who says yes without hesitation.

"This cannot be happening."

You starfish onto your bed in defeat, holding the phone to your ear. Dahyun's on the other line, filtering through every possible solution.

"Okay… I was reading an article the other day and they're really close to figuring out cloning, so maybe w—"

"Dahyun."

"Fine fine, next idea. Have you ever watched The Parent Trap?"

You let out a groan. You are so screwed. Your college admission test is scheduled on the same day, in the same school (!) as Regionals. They don't entirely overlap, so there is some hope you could make it on time to both. But there are no guarantees.

"I think…" you start. "We're just gonna have to play it by ear."

"You want to leave you performing at Regionals up to CHANCE?!" Dahyun shrieks so loud, you have to yank your phone away from your ear.

"I don't know what else to do," you whine. "I can't miss this testing date for early admission and scholarships and stuff."

Dahyun growls. "Stupid standardized testing!"

A few days later, Chan approaches you. He got word of your predicament and offers to have his mom drop you both off, which puzzles you. "You do know that the test starts like 3 hours before the auditorium even opens, right?"

"I know!" Chan nods. "But I also know your parents are um…well, they're…"

"Insane about me getting into an Ivy League and would probably pop a few blood vessels if they found out a show choir competition overlapped with a test?" you say without missing a beat.

Chan shrugs. "I mean you said it, not me. But yes, that is no problem!" He salutes you as you give him a squeeze hug, which leads to a string of dramatic objections from him. You're just grateful to have one less thing to worry about.

The day arrives. Your usual testing anxiety is minor, relative to making it to Regionals on time. You walk into the exam room with your stage outfit folded in your backpack, plus a granola bar Chan's mom gave you. The plan is to change into your outfit during your brief testing break, then sprinting to the auditorium across campus as soon as you finish the last section.

The first half of the test goes well—you've been studying for it nearly every weekend since freshman year, so of course it does. Once the proctor calls for a break, you grab your backpack and head to the restroom.

"Miss, you cannot remove personal items from the testing area," the proctor calls out harshly. She's an older woman with bright red-orange hair and a dress with bunnies printed all over it.

"I have to change really qu—" "Leave your bag at your desk."

Frustrated, you leave the bag and grab your phone, making a big show to the proctor that you are otherwise empty-handed walking out of the room.

You decide to dial Seungkwan, who picks up after two rings.

"Hey," he says. You can hear the smile on his face.

"Hi. How's it going?"

"Well, we're once again last but not least in the lineup," he assures. You sigh in relief.

"Don't worry, focus on your test," Seungkwan tells you. "Though we've all placed bets on what score you'll get, so no pressure."

"Oh really?" you ask "And what was your bet?"

"A perfect score, of course."

Dahyun was right: stupid standardized testing. Your heart does a silly little leap and you wish you could just run to Seungkwan and—

Your train of thought gets cut off by the exam proctor ordering everyone to go back inside.

"Shoot, I gotta go. But I'll see you soon!"

"Okayyyy," Seungkwan responds in a sing-songy voice. "Break a leg," he says then hangs up.

Reinvigorated by your exchange with Seungkwan, you take on the second half of the test in stride. You're zeroed in on an extra complex math question when you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. Then it buzzes again. And again. And again and again.

You fight the urge to take a peek as you glance up at the proctor. She's wearing headphones and is engrossed with her iPad. You figure it's okay to check your phone, and see a bunch of missed calls from every member of the Maestros plus a text from Dahyun that says "SOS!! we got moved up!!!" Panic sets in as you tuck your phone away. You weigh your options: either you finish this last section and risk missing Regionals, or you walk out and your test results are disqualified.

All that comes to mind is being in the choir room after winning Sectionals, taking in the moment like Mr. Lee advised. How it dawned on you right then and there with your friends that you've found a place, one that the characters in the books you've read wish for and search for: a place to belong.

So before you realize what you're doing, you grab your things. You walk to the front of the room and drop your scantron next to the proctor's iPad. She glances up to you expressionless and shoos you away. The grin you flash at her leaves her confused, but you don't take any more time to see the rest of her reaction. You barge into a restroom down the hall and quickly change into your stage outfit, struggling to get your performance shoes on. You let out a wail, exasperated, then decide to slip your sneakers back on. You have to run anyways.

You muster up your best sprint across the massive high school campus, following signs to the auditorium. As you approach, you can hear the first few notes of Love Somebody by Maroon 5. It's the Maestros' opening song with Vernon leading along with a few other students, which means you have less than four minutes before you come in for song number two.

Mr. Lee scans the small crowd near the auditorium entrance, nervously biting the inside of his cheek. As soon as he spots you, he waves you over frantically.

"You made it!" he shouts, ushering you inside and toward a door backstage. You approach the Maestros, who are all an echo of Mr. Lee's nervous stance from earlier. But much like him, they become elated at the sight of you. Seungkwan looks you up and down, almost as if he can't believe you're there. He then lets out a horrified gasp and points at your feet.

You freak out at the sight of your sneakers, scrambling to put on your performance shoes. Dahyun and Jihyo assist during the last half of Love Somebody, and your teamwork pays off. You start heading onto the stage, ready for your mark, only to cower at the size of the audience. It's two, maybe three times the size of the one at Sectionals. Fearfully, you turn back around, but Seungkwan tries to steer you back to the stage.

"Is everything okay?" his eyes widen in worry as he inspects your face.

"The crowd…it's huge. I can't do this."

"Yes you can. You can do anything," Seungkwan says. "I'm gonna puke out there," you blurt out.

Seungkwan laughs fondly. "You'll be fine. You're the most amazing singer I know," he admits.

Before you continue protesting, Seungkwan closes the few inches between you and places a kiss on your cheek.

"Please don't puke" is the last thing Seungkwan tells you before nudging you back onstage and right on cue, Whitney Houston's How Will I Know begins.

Seungkwan kissed you. On the cheek. It's like you can actively feel every neuron in your body freaking out, and whatever you were worried about before pales in comparison.

Jihyo kicks off the song, singing to you and Dahyun as if confessing the lyrics to you both. You look over to Seungkwan, who is beaming and flushed red—you figure you probably are, too. You sing the second verse:

Oh, wake me, I'm shaking / Wish I had you near me now, uh-huh / Said there's no mistakin' / What I feel is really love / Ooh, tell me

You catch yourself unable to stop smiling, leaning into the playful choreography and joyously dancing with your friends. The energy only builds at the final song, Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Every member of the Maestros walks out on the stage then disperses into the audience during the last half of the song. The entire crowd stands, clapping along and loving the powerful adlibs coming from you and Seungkwan. They sing along with tons of energy:

Don't go cryin' to your mama / 'Cause you're on your own in the real world / Don't go cryin' to your mama / 'Cause you're on your own in the real world

You're having so much fun, you forget that a group has to win. And when that group ends up being the Maestros, you can't imagine how things could get any better.

None of the Maestros thought you would make it this far. Yet here you are, about two months away from going to New York City for Nationals. Of course, it's quite an expensive trip, and Mr. Lee has the terrible job of delivering bad news: Maplewood is unfortunately not able to cover all of the expenses. Apparently, whatever funding they had left went to remodeling the football field (which you recall getting work done your freshman year, but that's neither here nor there).

In the choir room, Dahyun scribbles numbers into her notebook, hopeful. She mumbles to herself, moving her fingers mid-air like she's tapping an invisible calculator.

She jolts out of her seat triumphantly. "Okay! After crunching the numbers, the Maestros only have to pay…" You can see the wheels in Dahyun's mind spinning only so she deflates back into her chair. "Sooooo…we definitely need to fundraise," she states.

Everyone collectively groans, worried about coming up with enough money to make it to New York. To maybe even win. You spend the rest of the meeting coming up with ideas together. Someone throws out a talent show idea, another student brings up singing telegrams, Mr. Lee calls Breadstix for a possible restaurant fundraiser to no avail.

As per usual, Mingyu walks in to wait for Seungkwan and Jihyo to carpool, though this time he comes bearing a large box. "I brought gifts!" he exclaims, presenting the contents to Mr. Lee. The teacher gladly grabs a saran-wrapped muffin. You grab one as well, unwrapping it and taking a bite.

You stare at Mingyu in shock. "These are so good! Where did you get them?!" Mingyu gives a shy grin, his canines peeking out and says, "I made them."

Behind you, Chan whips his head in disbelief. "You WHAT?!" he exclaims as crumbs fly from his mouth and all over his clothes. "Aw crap," Chan looks down with remorse, swatting the crumbs off. Seungkwan fusses over the mess, procuring some napkins from his bag to help clean up.

A light bulb goes off. "Bake sale! Let's do a bake sale!" you shout. There's sounds of agreement throughout the room, though you're unsure if it's in regards to your idea or the muffins. By the end of the meeting, the date for the bake sale is set and each member signs up to bring something.

A few weeks later, the night before the fundraiser, you and Dahyun are in your kitchen with an array of bowls strewn all over the countertops. It took some persuading since it's a weeknight, but your mom conceded to pick you both up from Glee Club to bake together. You've just finished frosting a dozen more cupcakes when you see Dahyun's dad's car pull up. You walk her out and she gives you a big hug, promising to call you later.

As you close the front door, you turn around and are greeted by your parents, arms crossed. Your dad holds an opened envelope, and your blood runs cold as you see the testing board's logo stamped on the front.

"We need to talk."

"Damn," Vernon says, slightly taken aback at the giant platter Seungkwan sets down on the lunch table. "Sure you made enough?"

Seungkwan glares and Vernon catches the subtle eyebags on his face—immediately, he knows he should not have said anything. "I stayed up till about 3 a.m. making these. I do not have the time for this today, all right?"

Vernon puts his hands up in surrender. "My bad, bro. For what it's worth, they turned out great."

Dahyun approaches with a plastic container. "Hey!" she exclaims. Seungkwan waves, then cranes his neck to see if anyone's trailing behind her. "Where i—" he starts.

"She's not here today," Dahyun offers with a pout. She knows Seungkwan is waiting for you. She excuses herself to grab more cupcakes from her locker.

"Hm," Vernon nods to himself.

Seungkwan looks to him, curious. "What?"

Vernon pauses to consider his next words. "You…you really like her, don't you?"

Seungkwan attempts to stammer out an excuse; to this, Vernon raises his brow.

"It's okay," Vernon reassures. "You don't have to answer that. Maybe you should talk to her, though."

The air falls silent between them, with Seungkwan deep in thought and Vernon pivoting his focus to organizing the table.

From his jacket pocket, Seungkwan pulls out a card with Winnie the Pooh and the phrase "You make me beary happy" illustrated on it, your name scribbled underneath in his writing. He admires the pastries he made: carefully sliced, topped with powdered sugar, filled with a generous layer of custard and radiant red fruit slices that almost seem too perfect to be real.

Strawberry croissants. Your favorite.

You hear from Dahyun that the bake sale went well. In fact, the Maestros are planning another one along with a car wash fundraiser. Everyone's hopeful the two events will help meet your goal for Nationals and then some. But you can't bring yourself to be happy about this news as you fight to hold back your own.

The evening after Dahyun leaves your house, things take a turn. Your parents sit you down, exam results in hand and you brace yourself for the lecture of a lifetime followed by a whole lot of crying in your room. The usual. Instead, your parents hold up your voided score and demand that you tell them what happened. You're honest. You recount the circumstances regarding Regionals, how you left the exam early to make it on time for the Maestros' performance.

Once you say your piece, your parents present you with a brochure with the entrance of a school campus on the cover, trees upon trees behind the large front gates. Spring Gardens Advanced Academy, it reads.

Your parents then inform you that you will finish up your junior year at Maplewood, then over the summer, you will all move about six hours away so you can attend Spring Gardens for your senior year. They assure this is the only way to guarantee you the best future possible. A decision made from love, they say.

You manage to push down the nausea building in your throat. All you can muster out is a plea: you will transfer schools so long as you can see Nationals through. You do not have it in you to disappoint more people. You are seventeen years old and that is your biggest fear. More than walking away from something that must be love.

"Central Park: check," you say. "Times Square: check. New York style pizza—"

Jihyo raises a slice triumphantly from her spot on the hotel room floor. "Check!" Next to her, Dahyun moves her own slice to toast with Jihyo's in celebration.

"And…we saw a New York City rat!" Dahyun notes.

"That wasn't on our original list…also, it was gross," you observe. Jihyo shudders at the thought.

"Part of the authentic experience!" You nod and oblige to Dahyun, adding it to your Notes app entry recapping your NYC adventures. You arrived to the city yesterday, so today was jam-packed with sightseeing before Nationals tomorrow. The three of you decided to return to your room a few hours before curfew to rest up.

As you share the photos you took around the city, you hear a knock at your door. Dahyun and Jihyo make no move to answer it, eyeing each other suspiciously. "Okay fine, guess I'll get it," you say, sassy.

You don't expect to be greeted by Seungkwan, dressed in his coat and holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Um. Hi. What's up?" you ask.

"Hi," Seungkwan says, then holds the bouquet out to you. "These are for you."

You feel like your cheeks might pop from the huge smile that overtakes you as you grab the bouquet and bring it up to your nose. "It's perfect. Thank you. But why? How come you're giving this to me?"

"Well…I am here to ask if you would like to go out with me," Seungkwan declares. You briefly consider closing the door to let out a scream, though you feel that slamming the door on Seungkwan's face might give him the wrong idea. Instead, you settle for stammering out a response. "I—wait, really?" You peek out further out into the hall. "But we can't go anywhere. It's after curfew."

Seungkwan nods. "We'll be fine, trust me." Slowly, you turn your attention to your two friends, who are absolutely riveted with the scene taking place. Jihyo makes a gesture in Seungkwan's direction encouraging you to say yes while Dahyun gives you two thumbs up.

"Don't worry, we can cover for you with Mr. Lee and the chaperones! Now gooooo!" Jihyo orders.

Back to Seungkwan, his eyes big and sparkly, you can't help but feel fondness woven with dread. You remember how fleeting this all is, how no one knows you have to leave at the end of the school year. You're torn. This all feels like too much. Your mind starts rushing an—

"Hey," Seungkwan whispers. "You don't have to say yes, not now. I mean, I do want to go out with you. Maybe New York is not your thing? Though I do think you'd have a really good time where we're going, but that's not to stress you out or anyth—"

"Yes. I'd love to go out with you tonight," you interject. You know you'd be silly to pass this up.

Seungkwan hops in place excitedly and asks to meet downstairs in 15 minutes. Once again, Dahyun and Jihyo pull through and help you put on some quick makeup and figure out an outfit. The finishing touch is one of the flowers Seungkwan gifted you placed behind your ear.

Once you're downstairs, you and Seungkwan decide to make a run for it toward the subway. It hits you that you have no clue where you're going. On the platform, you ask Seungkwan and all you get is him pretending to zip his lips shut.

You grab his left shoulder with both hands and jostle him a bit. "Tell me! Pleaseeeee."

Seungkwan nods. "Nope. This will be much better as a surprise. I promise."

You pretend to be annoyed, rolling your eyes dramatically and shifting away from him. The train arrives and the two of you board. You manage to give him the cold shoulder for about 15 seconds before you can't anymore. If it weren't for Seungkwan's phone loudly alerting you of your stop, you would have absolutely missed it due to being so deep in conversation. You walk up to the street, and after a few minutes, turn a corner. Immediately, you freeze as you're greeted with bright lights framing an array of marquees holding posters for various musicals.

"Wow" is all you can bring yourself to say. Seungkwan quickly leads you to a theater announcing Waitress.

You plant yourself firmly on the ground in denial. "No. You're joking."

Seungkwan groans. "Yes actually, I brought you all this way as a joke," he says sarcastically.

"I knew it," you sigh and hang your head in mock defeat. "You got me." Amused, Seungkwan drags you into the theater lobby. You take in the gold trim everywhere, the plush carpet beneath your feet. You squeal after getting a playbill. "I'm framing this," you tell Seungkwan. "I expect nothing less," he says.

Your seats are good. A bit too good. "Seungkwan…how did you even get these tickets?"

"Remember earlier after breakfast, when I said I had to go back to the hotel because I forgot my phone?"

You do remember. Seungkwan made a big scene out of it, though you figured it was par for the course. You did pause when Mingyu—who managed to tag along on the trip with the made-up title of Executive Assistant to the Maestros—insisted on accompanying him, as if grabbing a phone was a two-person job. However, you were too preoccupied being a tourist to give it much thought.

"We may or may not have come here for the ticket lottery," Seungkwan looks around the theater in awe. "I guess it worked out."

"You did that for me?" you ask.

"Yeah," he says with ease. "I know you really like Waitress and I wanted to surprise you."

Your tears threaten to escape from the overwhelm of emotion; thankfully, the house lights dim and the show begins. From the first song, you mouth along to every single word. Even through your disbelief that someone would do this for you, would bring you here, you let yourself get carried away.

The two leads, Jenna and Dr. Pomatter, sing You Matter to Me in act two:

I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes / They've seen things you never quite say, but I hear

You don't notice how all this time, Seungkwan has been watching you more than the stage.

Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you / And I'll stay there as long as you'll let me

And when Seungkwan notices how visibly moved you are by the song, he can't help but want to see what you're seeing. He finally looks to the stage into the second verse.

It's addictive the minute you let yourself think / The things that I say just might matter to someone

You get so swept up in the song and can't help but reach for Seungkwan's hand to anchor you.

All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away / And for the first time, I think I'd consider the stay

You're startled at your own action. You begin to pull away and apologize.

Because you matter to me / Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody

Before you can do that, Seungkwan grabs your hand.

You matter to me / I promise you do, you, you matter too

He interlocks his fingers with yours—

I promise you do, you'll see

—gentle, certain.

You matter to me

"May I…" Mr. Lee gestures to the shuttle's PA system. The driver nods, delighted, and passes it over.

There's a bit of feedback, which has everyone covering their ears. Chan yelps and screams "WHAT DID YOU SAY?! I can't hear you!" when Vernon says something to him, which makes him wheeze with laughter.

"Maestros!" Mr. Lee says into the microphone. "Are we ready for Nationals?!"

A chorus of enthusiasm responds, and a group of freshmen at the back of the shuttle start chanting "Maestros! Maestros!" as you all join in, including the bus driver.

You walk into the green room area of the Lincoln Center buzzing with anticipation. It's laid out more like a living room, with a whole set of couches in the middle surrounded by vanities and mirrors. As you set your things down at one of the stations, you hear your name coming from Mr. Lee with Seungkwan standing next to him. Mr. Lee makes a motion to follow him.

Once outside, you and Seungkwan eye each other, concerned. You wonder if you were in trouble, if Mr. Lee saw the two of you sneaking out the night before. You see Seungkwan start to open his mouth so you grab his hand, which brings a blush to his cheeks and stops any words from spilling out. Mr. Lee notices your embrace, a small smile forming on his face as he quickly casts his gaze back to your faces.

"Oh captains, my captains," he begins. "I was so nervous going into this year and taking the leap to start a Glee Club, how it would come about. Whether people would think it's as great as I remember it being back when I was in high school. And to my surprise, it ended up being even better."

Oh no, you think. I can't do this.

Mr. Lee continues. "Yes, I am your teacher, but know that you guys have taught me so much. You two have made my job all the more fulfilling, all the more joyful. No matter what happens out there, I am so proud of how far you two have come. And there is always next year to have even more fun."

You shut your eyes tight and shake your head. Knowing there is no next year for you, it all feels like a nightmare.

"Mr. Lee, thank you so much. You're seriously the best teacher ever," Seungkwan says, his voice a bit shaky. "Let's go out and win this!"

After, you take a seat on a leather armchair and let yourself be surrounded by your friends, at the people who have made your junior year the best year of your life. The thought of not spending more time singing and dancing alongside them has your chest tightening. You force yourself to take deep breaths to calm down. The members start getting ready, and you manage to push down your emotions in favor of the important task.

On the way to the stage, you pass by a few students from competing Glee Clubs near a stairwell. Some wear lime green cocktail dresses and others have on aquamarine ties and cummerbunds. In comparison, the Maestros' outfits lean more subdued: burgundy dresses with black details for the girls, burgundy button downs and black dress pants for the guys.

As you arrive in the wings, there is already a group performing. The Gods of Music sing Story of My Life with upwards of fifty students on stage, a behemoth compared to the Maestros' humble twenty. Their dance moves are stunning yet do not detract from the otherworldly vocals that resonate throughout the venue. You can't help but be amazed. Nothing will ever compare to the feeling of performing in a group.

The Gods of Music leave the stage and the competition host, Mercedes Jones, introduces the Maestros. You can hardly see the crowd through the spotlight, and it almost feels like you're back at rehearsal in the Maplewood auditorium. Locating yourself back there lets you breathe easier, and you stand tall as Chan kicks off Counting Stars by OneRepublic. The choreography he put together makes an impact—the twenty of you stomp around and command the stage enough to make it feel full. Jihyo and Dahyun tag-team Santana & Michelle Branch's The Game of Love, which gets the crowd swaying along.

When the Maestros were deciding the setlist this time around, Vernon threw out the idea of doing something different, unexpected. Where Regionals was the life of the party, Nationals could be the heartfelt conversation you have as the party winds down. He suggested Stay by Rihanna & Mikky Ekko—it was deemed the best song to end on, with you and Seungkwan leading. No choreography, just you two facing each other. Earnest, vulnerable. You start the song off:

All along, it was a fever / A cold sweat, hot-headed believer / I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me somethin'" / He said, "If you dare, come a little closer"

You can feel yourself falter as Seungkwan sings the chorus to you, impassioned:

Not really sure how to feel about it / Something in the way you move / Makes me feel like I can't live without you / It takes me all the way / And I want you to stay

By the time you arrive at the bridge, you fail to keep your voice steady and cast your eyes to the back of the stage so the audience does not catch on to your crying. You try to push through, but you can't. Next thing you know, you run off the stage. You can faintly hear Seungkwan calling your name and the music stop as you make your way to the green room, shutting the door behind you.

You pace around the room silently, mind racing. You are seventeen years old and all you want is for someone to look at you—to really look at you, all of you—without having to ask or demand it. All you want is to be open and free, to be held with care. To be loved simply as you are, not for what you do.

A foreign feeling arises, though you know well that it's one you try to avoid at all costs. Anger, you note. You hold anger for the circumstances, that you are getting taken away from this; anger for yourself because you don't have it in you quite yet to take a stand for what you want; anger for an empty life that was predetermined for you, one where you would rather disappoint yourself than to disappoint your parents.

The door opens, and Seungkwan steps into the room. "Hey," he says, his voice full of worry.

You are seventeen years old, and you have not sat with anger enough to know how damaging it can be.

"Go away," you hiss.

"What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk to you. It's not your business," you snap.

"I just—"

"What? You're here to get mad at me? I mean, I ran off the stage. We lost. It's over."

"No no, it's okay," Seungkwan reassures. "There's always next year."

"Next year? Senior year?" you laugh once, hollow. "All of this singing and dancing was cute for now, but I have other more important things to focus on."

Seungkwan freezes in place, his brow furrowed in confusion. He's caught off guard, wounded by your words.

You keep pacing around the room. "None of this ever mattered to me. I don't care about any of it." You say this more to yourself and less to Seungkwan, yet it stings him. He's unsure of what to say, so he goes to place a hand on your shoulder to try and comfort you.

You take a step back, away from him. "Get out! Leave me alone!" you yell, and Seungkwan recoils into himself.

There's a long pause. You wish you could take it all back, but you know it's too late. You figure maybe leaving will be easier this way—to rip your own heart out, to leave it here rather than carry it with you.

You look into Seungkwan's eyes, not realizing it's the last time you would.

"Fine" is all Seungkwan says before he walks away and shuts the door. You fall onto one of the couches and let the world crumble around you.

Once you come back from New York, you skip Glee Club for the rest of the school year. You busy yourself in the library during lunch, avoiding what's become the Maestros' table in the cafeteria. The only chance anyone has to talk to you is during a class you share, though you make it a point to engage in minimal conversation.

Junior year soon ends and Seungkwan hears from other members the news of you transferring. Following your exchange at Nationals, he had accepted that you weren't on speaking terms. But with this development, Seungkwan tries drafting up a message to patch things up before you leave.

He thinks back to that day, how you've subsequently passed him by in the hallway between classes and acted like he was invisible. You hadn't even texted him to say you quit. Instead, Mr. Lee had to let him know that his own co-captain was out. Through all this, your words keep ringing in his head, that you never cared and that being in the Maestros never mattered. That maybe whatever the two of you were—whatever you could have been, he thinks to himself—never mattered either.

After a few times typing and backspacing a text to you, he gives up and decides not to say anything. Summer goes on and bleeds into fall, where Seungkwan passes his captain role over to someone else so he can focus on leading the varsity volleyball team instead. Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, you enroll into your new school and excel in all your classes. You manage to make new friends as communication with almost everyone at Maplewood wanes. Eventually, you each go to college, graduate, explore your place in the world.

And all these years later, with your first job and your own place in a new city, there are still some nights where the joy you felt with the Maestros visits you like a ghost.

And the silence between you and Seungkwan, it sings to you. A song left unfinished.

note from the author: aaaaaaand cut! that's a wrap on part one of loser like me. stay tuned for part two—coming soon! in the meantime, i'm open to any and all thoughts, feedback, complaints, whatever's on your mind. oh and of course, thank you for reading!

[chogiwaw]

JOSIIEEE I CANT WAIT TO READ THIS!!

[onionhassayyo]

WHO HOLDS YOUR WORLD?

Synopsis: She heard their whispers, even though she pretended not to. “She doesn’t apply herself.” “She cares TOO much.” “She’s a liability.” They don’t know that she holds the whole world for them. Her parents, her siblings, her friends, her job. And when she refuses to carry it all anymore, she gets called the villain. And so the cracks begin to form. She holds it together for as long as possible, but when the walls come tumbling down, who is there to hold the world for her?

Status: ongoing

Total Word Count: to be determined

Pairing: Psychiatrist!Joshua Hong x Fem!Psychiatric Nurse!Reader

Themes: Angst, Fluff, Hurt, Comfort, Crack

Warnings: Psychiatry (lingo, diagnoses, current and past practice mentions), Nursing (the bad side of it like bullying), Prejudice (against mental health issues, disabilities), Descriptions of Mental Health Crisis (panic attack, BPAD depressive and manic state episodes)

Author's Note: This work is a part of THE BLOCKBUSTERS COLLABORATION. Massive thank yous to our darling hosts and managers Em @gyuswhore, Izzy @jakedustry, Luna @belovedgyu, and Rae @nerdycheol for giving us smaller Carat writers a platform of our own to find our voices. To my fellow collaborators @chogiwaw @paradiseonthemoon @pomegranate-teardrop @caratchronicles @livmarauder @cxffecoupx @cherrymayz @mellowgyu @gentleisa @hopecutie @luvrung and @choco-scoups for all your support, encouragement and friendship, I am so grateful. Please have a look at everyone’s work for this collab and in general. Mi people dem write good ya ‘ear. 💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾 An extra special thank you to my favourite and only Ghanaian gyal. Love you sweetie.😉

~ TJ ~

Dividers: @enchanthings

Banner: yours truly

PROLOGUE

There wasn’t much said between Joshua and yourself between last week’s ICP and now. You had both obviously shared rounds, done handovers, and sent correspondence over the course of the week, but if it didn’t have anything to do with patient care it wasn’t spoken.

And truly how could you speak to the man who had given you such a thorough verbal beat down, that your only wish since the encounter was to fade into non-existence rather than have to even interact with him again.

The comment he had made about you being “...a fish that saw a bird and now wants to fly...” was on replay in your mind since he made it. 

Words sharp as katanas.

He knew the pain they would cause when he uttered them, and yet he said them anyway. And that was why you couldn’t stand him. He is honestly one of the most petty, bitter men you’ve had the displeasure of knowing. Somehow even worse than the senior nurses you’ve survived being ‘eaten’ by. And the worst part is- clearly it is going to get worse before it gets better.

In more ways than one.

“Are you two still not talking?” Seungkwan asks, nudging you with his hip while checking through the ICP documents and patient files for the last time before the rest of the team came into the meeting room.

“Of course we’ve spoken.” you attempt to bluff, as if Kwannie doesn’t superimpose a Pinocchio nose on your face whenever you lie. “I told him to have a good day two days ago, and he wished me the same. It was probably a curse on his end though because not even 30 minutes later, I then proceeded to spill tea on my brand new scrub pants, and I still can’t get the stain out. He is the definition of a jinx, that man.”

“And you are head over heels in love with him.” Seungkwan counters, the grin on his face inescapable.

The look you give him back can really only be described as affronted.

“If you pull out the Greta Thunberg ‘How dare you?’, we will in fact have to battle royale right here. And I don’t care if your little crush walks in, I will still force several servings of knuckle sandwich straight down your throat.” Seungkwan deadpans, his seriousness palpable. 

Your response? Stick your tongue out at him like the child you are.

“Yo, Sunnie, you have a crush girlie?” A very familiar sing-song tone inquires behind, and you all but freeze on the spot.

The traitor at your side begins to open his mouth to speak, but you intercept with a quick pinch to his hip, spinning around to vehemently deny all charges to the new arrivals. The squeal Kwannie lets out is a small balm to your heart which begins its palpitations once you see that it’s not just Changbin - who had asked the question - that is standing behind you. Attempting to hide the invading sense of alarm, your eyes lock on the one dude to whom you do not want it to have known that you have the capability for feelings, let alone a crush. Immediately all the denying you were about to spew, dies a shrivelled death on your suddenly dehydrated tongue.

The expectant silence that settles on the room is tear-inducing.

“All men do is lie.” is all you are able to say to Changbin in response to his earlier question, because any other form of denial would be adding a woman to the list of falsehood perpetrators. And God forbid you do anything that could set women back, during Halle Berry’s International Women’s Month.

“Let’s begin the ICP shall we. I’ll call in the regulars first.” you deflect further, averting your gaze from Joshua and all the other team members in the room.

And so the ball starts rolling as it always does.

Relatively good time is made on the long-standing patients as usual, the familiarity and solid therapeutic relationship easing the way. Some of them bring up changes they would like to make to their current plans, minor ones that will hopefully help to aid them in being discharged sooner, or conversely make their time here even more comfortable. Both cases are so extremely valid I couldn’t fault it. Once the familiar patients are sorted, you and Seungkwan begin to bring in the newer patients that the doctors have only seen during admission, and have yet to be introduced to the team.

“Peter Kwon, a 37 year old male, not known to the services, presented with mania symptoms to the emergency department at 05:26 two nights ago. Content, volume, and rhythm of speech during assessment were of very poor quality. Delusions of most likely grandeur present and rather difficult to reassure. During initial assessment his main concerns were in relation to his new job. Seems that he was laid off from his old position, not sure where at, and got a new job in an adjacent but still different field. The anxiety around this new job, in addition to him feeling rejected by his old job, seems to have compounded into his current presentation. At several points he stated that he “Needs to do well in this pivot.” No known social support at present, or rather the ones contacted don’t seem to be interested in being linked in.” 

The registrar that delivers the opening assessment notes takes a deep breath after dumping her spiel and smiles like she didn’t just deliver a one-breath rap verse. While she takes a sip of water, chuckles reverb through the room, and someone at the table throws out a sarcastic but fond “Thank you, Slim Shady.”

Meanwhile your mind replays the word that caught your attention and made everything said afterwards sound like static.

Pivot.

As a child of parents with great expectations, the concept of making a career pivot was not viewed without heavy skepticism and disappointment. In their household, you either hit your milestones at the correct ages and stages, or you are considered a developmental failure. Nevermind if you figure out in the first step that you are headed in the wrong direction; once you pick a path you had better stick with it.  

What didn’t help is that in addition to the high expectations, your particular brand of parents relied heavily on you for their survival. Cause God forbid that immigrant parents could consider not making their barely adult children their retirement plan. It isn’t easy to realise that you were unwillingly brought onto a planet to be considered nothing but a safety net.

When you first told your parents that you had been “suggested” for a nursing transfer from your dementia care setting to the psychiatric setting, they didn’t bat an eye about it except to ask if you would be making less money. No queries about why the transfer was happening, or how you were feeling about it, just a simple and detached “If your paycheck gets any lower we won’t have enough to pay for your brother’s tuition, and the portion to the bills that you’re supposed to cover. Can you at least make choices that won’t affect us all for once?”

As if you had made the choice. As if you hadn’t done everything in your power to ensure that you could stay in your old ward. As if you wanted to be whispered about behind your back.

As if you were only what Joshua had said you are.

A fish that saw a bird and now wants to fly.

No room to explore. No grace for a misstep. No second chances.

You must do what is to be done. Bear the responsibility, even if it is killing you.

In environments like that, what would one know of dreams?

Reality and Disney can not coexist after all.

[chogiwaw]

TJ CANT WAITT TO READ IT ALL!!

[caratchronicles]

Gemini || w.jh

Summary: As the saying goes, "History repeats itself". Eons after the Second Titan War, the world is left in a similar state of despair. Good prevails, but so does the imbalance and injustice. Now standing on opposite sides, the Gods and Demigods don't think that the damage done by The Aegean War can ever truly be repaired. When yet another prophecy pushes you to fight for your friends, you must decide for yourself: Are you worth fighting for too?

Pairing : Wen Junhui x Fem!Reader

AU : Percy Jackson and the Olympians AU

Word Count : 6,712 (part one)

Warnings : Panic attacks, survivor's guilt and post war depression. Percy Jackson AU aged up! Please every character is over 19 years old. Olympus gods being fucked up as usual. Reader is going through it. Sweetheart Junnie. Lots and lots of yearning. Fighting as a coping mechanism. Appearance of other svt members. ANGST in all caps. Some fluff maybe. Multiple moments of "just get together already" and "they've been through so much"

Author's Note : This fic has been written as part of the blockbusters collab hosted by the lovely izzy @jakedustry, rae @nerdycheol and luna @belovedgyu. Thank you for such an amazing opportunity guys<33

This was a really fun experience and I would like to thank all my cuties @mellowgyu, @choco-scoups, @chogiwaw, @cherrymayz, @livmarauder, @gentleisa, @luvrung, @hopecutie, @pomegranate-teardrop, @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @cxffecoupx for such a fun time! congratulations to all of you for completing your fics and im so excited for people to get to know you guys through your amazing works

That being said, this is not beta-read!! so forgive me if there are any mistakes, I was running on pure vibes lol

credits to @im4yeons for the pretty divider!

Under the moonlight —

Come, save me now

It was that time of the night when the sky was pitch black — save for the full moon and the stars shining so bright, a sight almost impossible in the city. Jun winced as he stepped over a leaf, making a crunching sound. The sound of the ocean could be heard faintly from where he was. He found this path accidentally, when he had wandered far into the forest away from the camp. It was late at night then, just like now — something he found solace in.

The path led to a rocky shore, violent waves crashing with the jagged edges. Jun slowly stepped in the sand, taking a deep breath of the salty air as the wind blew around him, pushing his hair back. His shoulders dropped as a slight smile made its way onto his face. He looked around, slowly trudging towards a stone to sit on. The tide was on the calmer side tonight — with lesser, calmer waves crashing on the rocks.

The moonlight reflected off the water, making the place seem almost ethereal. Leaning back, Jun closed his eyes, letting the sound of the ocean wash out whatever worries he had. He opened his eyes after a while and looked up at the sky above him. Full of stars and constellations that he grew up watching. He could see the constellation Draco, its dragon-like tail making it identifiable among the others. Constellation Lyra caught his eye next, marking its harp shape.

Going through the stars, he noted as many constellations as he could, recollecting the stories related to them. He smiled ruefully as he spotted Hercules. That was a story Jun thought about quite often these days. Immensely powerful yet exploited by the gods, being punished for something he didn't even have control over. Jun could think of a few people who came under that category.

A scene flashed quickly in his mind. Bodies everywhere. Explosions. The scent of smoke. Disappointed gods. Demigods kneeling on the floors of Olympus. He blinked it away, refocusing on the stars as he used the sound of the waves to ground him. He took a deep breath, sitting up straight and looking at the ocean.

It was dark and inviting — the unknown somehow calming him rather than scaring him away. He got down from the rock carefully, deciding to return to his cabin to finally sleep. If his calculations were correct, it was about an hour before the sunrise. Even though he hated mornings these days, he also knew that he would be most energised then due to his lineage.

Taking a step towards the path he came from, he stopped when he felt something hard under his shoes. It was a stone pierced through at one edge — a hag stone. Rare. Protective, if the stories were true. Jun observed it under the moonlight before pocketing it and resuming his journey towards the cabins.

Reaching cabin eleven, he quietly closed the door behind him, careful not to wake any of his siblings. Taking the stone out, he felt it once again before placing it by his bedside along with the other shells he had collected from the very same shore. He lowered himself on his bed, pulling the blanket up and slowly drifting off to sleep, hoping that tonight, he won't be plagued by nightmares.

The grass was soft as you walked on it, little bushes brushing past your knees as you passed them — covered with flowers of many different colours. The breeze was cool, especially for a summer month. Spotting a rivulet, you stepped closer and saw little fishes swimming in it. You bent down and touched the water, feeling the cold liquid coat your hand. The fishes circled around your wrist, lightly tapping it and then quickly backing away.

The wind whistled, swaying the trees along with it. You look around with a smile, glancing up at the late afternoon sky. There were very few clouds in sight. This seemed like a nice spot to take a nap. Dipping your feet in the water, you leaned back on your elbows, sighing contently. Your eyes closed shut as you drifted to sleep, the last sight being that of a cloud in the sky which seemed bigger than before.

You felt something wet drop on your skin as you woke up. In the time you had been asleep, the clouds grew bigger and darker, almost covering the entire sky now. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, you felt something tug at your ankle. Glancing down, you see the water circling around your foot before you felt another pull. Then another. Trying to pull away, you watched with growing horror as the water reached up to your knees, continuing to pull you in.

Looking in front of you, you realised that what was once a rivulet was now growing in size by the second. And it was trying to drag you inside it. Glancing around helplessly, you realised the grass and the trees were gone. There was nothing left but sand. The water had now reached your thighs before you shouted for help. There was no sound other than that of the ocean. You were truly as alone as it looked like.

Your body was getting colder and colder as the water reached upto your chest. You began thrashing, trying to fight back as much as you could but to no avail. The water had reached upto your chin before you stopped moving, seemingly having accepted your fate. You closed your eyes as your ears got flooded and you were engulfed by the waves pulling you deep into the ocean. "You can never escape the sea," a voice echoed. And that was the last thing you heard before your world went dark.

You woke with a jolt, sitting up straight and taking in huge gulps of air. It was just a dream, you think trying to calm yourself down. The only sound to be heard was your heavy breathing and the sound of the clock.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

You get down from your bed, feeling the cold wood beneath your feet ground you slightly. The air was cold, you observe with a shiver, as you go to close your window. You take in the scene in front of you. Large trees at the outskirts of the camp, beyond which it was sea.

Moonlight reflecting off the surface of the water, making it look alluring and inviting. Something inside you shifted at the sight, something primal, ancient almost, reminding you of how long you had gone without the sea. You shut the window tightly, going back to bed hoping you could sleep without any trouble.

You were plagued with dreams of the waves echoing around you.

The early morning sun grazed Jun's face as he looked over at the demigods sword-fighting. Just from the technique, very sharp and clean, it was evident that they were Ares' kids. He was seated on the stairs of the arena having come here almost an hour prior to watch the sunrise. Yawning as he rubbed his eyes, he glanced around and noticed that there were other demigods present as well.

He could spot Chris, clad in his fighting gear, leaning over to whisper something in Lexie's ear. Hearing footsteps, he glanced up to see Mike jogging down the stairs and waving at him. Jun smiled and watched him leave before turning towards the fight. It seemed like the previous match was done and they had found a new opponent to challenge.

Ready to zone out again, Jun froze when he caught a movement from the corner of his eyes. He turns sharply towards the source, hand already on his knife incase it was needed. Just a few leaves rustling. He relaxes, a bit sheepish now as he looked around to check if anyone else had noticed that.

He sees you on the opposite side of the arena, eyebrows furrowed as you tried to make sense of whatever you were reading. You seemed to have trouble, growing increasingly frustrated as the seconds passed. You had a higher degree of dyslexia when compared to an average demigod, something which you hated more than anything — Jun would know, as he was the one who read books out loud for you whenver you asked.

He observed you for a while. Your wavy hair seemed to catch the sunlight everytime you ran a hand through it, an age-old habit of yours. Jun sighed, turning his attention elsewhere. What was the point if you didn't even look at him these days?

He couldn't blame you though, everyone had changed after the war. Some more than the others. He just wishes you wouldn't go out of the way to avoid him everytime you caught sight of him. Honestly, it didn't even seem like the war was over. Everyone was always on edge, as if waiting for the next attack.

Hearing a ruckus, he snapped out of his thoughts as he looked towards for the source. Standing there at the centre was a guy, blonde haired, donning a full armour for the sword fight. Ahh, the infamous Soonyoung. Or maybe Hoshi, as he liked to be called. If Jun had seen you retreating inwards and away from everyone, he could say Hoshi did the same.

The only difference was, you seemed to be spending more time in your cabin and Hoshi seemed to spend more time in figting arenas and grounds. Any news Jun had heard of him recently was always followed by the fact that he had wonded someone with an unnecessarily nasty punch. Which seemed to be his exact intentions again as he lunged at his opponent with a wicked grin.

A loud slam echoed around the arena as the two moved their swords quickly with precise footwork. It was a surprise to see that the other demigod was keeping up with Hoshi for as long as he had. Hoshi was a beast when it came to fighting, his strength and strategies forged by relentless training and discipline.

The clanking of the swords continued for a while longer, both of them maneuvering smartly around each other and looking for any weak points to hit in the opponent. Seemingly having found one, Hoshi quickly manages to push his opponent on the ground and hover over him with his sword in hand above his neck. The demigod beneath him huffed, out of breath and frustrated as he surrendered begrudgingly. Hoshi nods his head, satisfied before he turns around and leaves the arena as quickly as he came in.

You shove your hands deeper into your pockets, shivering slightly as you make your way towards the Dining Pavilion. It was early December, with the first snow of the year having occured just a few days ago, painting the camp white. You follow the footsteps in the snow, left by the other demigods, already looking forward to the warmth of the Pavilion.

You sigh in relief, rubbing your hands when you finally get inside and feel the heat spread through your body. You glance around, setting your scarf down at your table which was as empty as ever. The Ares table was also surprisingly empty, but given that it was quite early in the evening, you figured they were just sparring for sometime before supper. Soonyoung did tell you that they had fixed training sessions and this was one of the slots.

Your eyes then instinctually go to the Apollo's table and you feel a slight pain in your chest — maybe grief — as you take in the number of demigods present. They were all talking, looking happier than ever, but you could see it in the way Connor's smile dropped whenever he turned to his left, only to realise that his twin brother was no longer there with him. Or in the way Mia thought nobody noticed how often she zoned out, almost seeming like she was fighting prophecies in her mind.

If only you had stopped them from fighting in the water

You drag your eyes away from them with a shaky sigh. Everytime you closed your eyes, you could see the day play out in your mind, moment by moment without any mercy. A war inside the ocean, a tsunami washing out everyone who dared to cross it. You let out a huff, trying to fight against the negative emotions taking over your body as you cross your arms.

Since you were earlier than the expected dinner time, you decide to take a seat as you watch the campfire suddenly getting lowly lit, probably Goddess Hestia's doing. You liked Hestia, Jun had told you that she helped him a lot on his quest before the war. She also seemed like one of the only Gods who did not actively look for ways to trouble the demigods, so that was a plus.

Your eyes go towards the Apollo table again as you see Chiron approaching it. He's probably discussing about the Capture the Flag event being held tomorrow. Your eyes involuntarily go to Jun, seeing him talk to Chiron. The first thing you notice about him is his smile, always the smile — gentle and shy.

Infact, you remember the first time you had met him back when you both were ten, you were constantly trying to get him to laugh at your jokes, and he always did, no matter how lame or stupid they were. The next thing you notice are the dark circles under his eyes.

Was he having problems with sleeping again?

He always stayed up whenever the prophecies got too loud. He was one of those, along with Mia, who had the power of seeing the future more vividly than the rest of their siblings. Hence he was also very sensitive to dreams and nightmares, often times choosing not to sleep to avoid them.

You got to know of that fact just a couple of years ago and had tried everything to get him to sleep well, hanging out in the infirmary when his cabin became suffocating for him at night. You had even tried singing to him, something you were terrible at and you still remember the fond look he had in his eyes as he tried not to laugh. That was the night when everything had felt immensely real, your sleepy mind and traitorous heart giving you hope that maybe, just maybe even he felt the same about you.

Well, that was over a year ago, just before the war and you doubt he even thinks about you now after you stopped talking to him and basically threw your friendship away. There was also the fact that most of his siblings died under your leadership in the war. You were sure he hated you, you wouldn't blame him if he did.

Just as you were about to look away from him, he catches your eyes and looks startled for a moment before his face settles into something deeper. The world seemed to still, the rush of the incoming campers almost reducing to a lull as your eyes focus on his completely.

He always had this effect on you and you hated how just one look from him was enough to melt you, especially now that you were sure he must hate you. His lips curl slightly at the edges as he seemed almost relieved, which you didn't know what for. You feel his gaze go all over your face, checking upon you, just like it did after the war ended and you had come back to the medical site.

You still remember the conversation that had gone down right after that, with you refusing to speak to anyone but him just to break the news of his siblings. His shocked face, almost ghostly white still haunts you to this day. You look away, your heart heavy as you repeat all the reasons in your head, for the umpteenth time, as to why you should stay away from him.

He deserves better people in his life than a murderer

All you've caused right from the beginning is pain to everyone around you

Why would he be any different?

You dig your fingers into your sleeves, staring hard at the fire as you wait for your breath to calm down. The fire seemed to grow bigger as more and more campers piled into the Pavilion. You will your legs to still as you unclench your palms and finally feel your breath return to normal.

You had struggled a lot with panic attacks at the start after the war, but now you were getting better at handling them without having to bother others. You had a technique of counting till ten and humming a lullaby right after, which calmed you down significantly these days. You decide to distract yourself by thinking about tomorrow's Capture the Flag and going over all the strategies you had learnt over the years.

You look up, startled from your thoughts as you see Soonyoung sit next to you on the table. You hadn't even seen him approach. Your eyes widen as you take in his state. He was sporting a huge bandaid on his chin and a cut near his eyebrow. "What happened to you?" you ask as you look for any other place where he might be hurt. You looked down at his hands in his lap as he clenched his fist. His knuckles were bruised as well.

"Oh these are nothing, just some fight that went messy," he replied casually, avoiding eye contact. You raise an eyebrow, "A sword fight went so messy that you bruised your knuckles?" you ask already sniffing out his lie. He hesitates before saying, "This wasn't a sword fight, I was engaged in physical combat and the mortals sure know how to throw a nasty punch."

"Gods Soonyoung, the mortals?! I thought you had just gotten into a brawl with one of your siblings. Why were you even messing around with the mortals?" you exclaim. "I was just curious as to how they fight and snuck into one of their events. Their techniques are different than ours and I sure have a lot to learn from them. Maybe I should go back soon and ask them to teach me their ways", he ponders.

"Hoshi, you cannot go to the mortal world. What if some monster comes after you? Do you really want to fight more, especially without anyone helping you?" you knew you had offended him when you saw the expression on his face. You wince slightly as he replies, "You know I can very well handle a few monsters on my own. Need I remind you who lead the war with you? As for the mortal world and the fighting, I know you're worried that I'm fighting too much these days but trust me, this is what Ares' kids do. We study wars and different combat techniques. I like learning them and I'm having fun".

Knowing there was no changing his mind, you let out a sigh as you say, "You're right, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to reprimand you, just be careful." He gives you a side-hug as he replies cheekily, "It's fine, I know you're worried but I've managed to win a fight with you, I'm sure I can handle anyone at this point".

That gets a smile out of you as you ask, "Who patched you up though? Is someone else handling the infirmary now because that does not look like Jun's work". He clears his throat, avoiding your eyes again as he replies, "Just some mortals, I didn't go to the infirmary." You frown at him, about to question him more when Chiron rises from his seat and announces the commencement of dinner, "Everyone will gather together and go cabin by cabin to the campfire to offer a portion of their food to the gods."

You miss the sigh of relief Soonyoung lets out as you both rise up from your table and fill your plates with food as you wait for your turn. "Now the cabin three, Poseidon's cabin, can go burn their food in the fire." Chiron says, eyeing Soonyoung as you both step closer to the campfire. You let out a chuckle as you see Soonyoung huff. While not against the rules, it was still unusual for campers to sit at the tables of different cabins during meals.

Throwing a portion of your food into the fire, you suppress your laughter as you see Soonyoung throwing only a carrot into the fire. "Geez Soonie, leave some for yourself too. The gods don't need that much food." you tease as he replies, "To hell with the Gods." You pause as you look up at the sky which immediately rumbles with thunder making you both snicker. Zeus was so predictable. You both take a seat at your table, digging into the food as you discuss about the Capture the Flag. Soonyoung starts explaining the strategy that he thought of as you interrupt him, "Wait I'm with the Ares cabin this time?"

"Yes, unless you want to team up with the Apollo's cabin as usual then feel free to switch. I'm sure Jun would love to have you on his team again." he says looking up from his plate, already knowing what your reply would be. "You're a menace. Fine, I'll play on your team. Also, we both know Jun doesn't like Capture the Flag so I doubt he'd want to participate let alone have me on his team." you reply as you glance at Jun before looking away, not wanting to make eye contact with him again. Soonyoung hums looking straight at you as he replies , "That's true but I'm sure he would be enthusiastic to play if it meant that you would stop avoiding him."

"I'm not avoiding him, it's just…complicated", you say looking down at your plate as you pick at the vegetables. "I know", you hear Soonyoung say gently before he, thankfully, changes the topic to the post-dinner campfire.

You both discuss how to sneak away into your respective cabins after just a few songs and Soonyoung's happy that you're a bit more cheerful than before. He saw how shaken up you were when he had just joined you at the table earlier in the night, you were probably going through another panic episode. He hated how you didn't ask for help and wanted to manage everything on your own.

Soonyoung knew you just needed some time before you started talking to Jun again and unlike what you believed he was sure Jun didn't hate you. Quite the opposite actually. Anyone with eyes could see that Jun was smitten with you even after months of silence from your end. Soonyoung just hoped the two of you would figure it out eventually, he missed his friends together even though he was third-wheeling most of the time.

Now, onto the capture the flag game, he couldn't wait to implement the game plan he had learnt from the mortals. He grins excitedly as he goes into the full details of his strategy with you, knowing that you needed a distraction and that you'll have a lot of fun.

You take a deep breath, fiddling with your helmet as you wait for the game to start. Looking over to your right, you spot Soonyoung giving instructions to few of your teammates. Your team consisted of the Ares-Poseidon-Hermes-Hephaestus cabins and Hoshi had gone all out this time with the strategy. The plan was that both of you would be trying to capture the flag of the opposite team while the others either guarded your flag or laid out obstacles for the other team.

You would be running directly towards the other team's flag while Soonyoung would take a sneakier path that he was sure most of the campers didn't know about. You double-checked that it wasn't very dangerous because you were sure if given the chance, he would go into the labyrinth as well.

Your path was much simpler, you just had to run through your side of the forest, cross the river and then cross any of the obstacles laid out by the other team. You had your bracelet in your pocket, one that was gifted by Jun ages ago, which would transform into a sword when clicked.

Each of the participating cabins had contributed atleast one magical item for today's game. Jake from Hephaestus cabin had this idea of forging hot metal which would increase the temperature within seconds once activated, disabling the opponents from the fight.

To nobody's surprise, Soonyoung had liked this idea very much and encouraged the team to use them whenever they were stuck in a fight. Strapping a few of these balls inside your belt, you looked up when Soonyoung approached you.

"Are you sure you're ready to swim across the river? I know you have been staying away from the water for a while", he says with a frown, looking worried. Well, you had thought of this multiple times after Soonyoung had explained his strategy. Though slightly apprehensive, you knew you had to face your fear and get over with it. You had avoided your water powers for almost a year now and it was starting to take a toll on you, being that far away from the water.

"I'm sure Soonie", you reply with a smile, assuring him. He nods at you as he moves to the others, ordering everyone to get to their positions quickly. You hear Chiron blow the horn, signalling the start of the game as you exchange your signature fist-bump with Soonyoung before running off into the forest.

The woods were pitch-black, and you stand still for a few seconds waiting for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. Since you had grown up training in the woods, the path to the river was almost muscle memory. This part of the forest had the least number of monsters so you knew you had to minimise the time spent in this patch.

You run quickly, leaves crunching beneath you as the wind pushes your hair back. You reach the river in record time, taking a deep breath in as you try to keep your nerves at bay. You feel the memories of the war threatening to take over your mind before you block them and jump into the water.

The moment you touched the surface of the river, it felt like a thousand needles had penetrated into your skin. You felt the water seep through your clothes as you allowed yourself to be dragged into the river. You breathed out calmly and felt the bubbles rise up towards the surface.

You hoped the water could still recognise you. Soon enough, you could feel a bubble form around you, breathing becoming a lot easier. Your clothes started drying as the bubble took you to the surface of the river. With little to no difficulty, you manage to swim to the shore, feeling energised by being in the water.

Being away from the ocean for so long had definitely taken a toll on you. Your immunity and stamina had reduced significantly, something Soonyoung had pointed out, worried if you would be able to do this for the game. It was the doubt he had that spurred you into action, making sure that you would be the one to capture the flag before him. That was how it was with Soonyoung. If there was anyone who could push you to your limits so that you improve, it would be him.

Getting out of the river, you quickly double-check for all your weapons before you start running towards the hill which you were sure had the flag of the opponent team. You come across a huge chunk of leaves, a poorly laid trap by the Apollo team. You step aside swiftly, continuing your journey. At the foot of the hill, you hear the rustling of a few branches which makes you pause.

You take out your bracelet, which immediately morphs into a sword, as you brace yourself for an attack. You see Connor jump down the tree and step in front of you, followed by many others from the opponent team. You tap your foot, a bit unsure if you could take on so many demigods in a fight. It had been quite a long time since you had been in a sword fight and the clock was ticking. Taking a deep breath, you reach for the heat bomb fastened to your belt before dropping it.

You see their faces morph into panic and then confusion as they all gather around the ball, bending down to look at it. Had they not learnt anything during training? You count till three before watching the smoke start to rise from the bomb.

You slip away with a slight smirk as they start shrieking at the rapidly rising temperature. Though lasting only for a couple of minutes, the heat bomb did have rapid affects. Everyone would have to vacate the area within a minute if they didn't want to be severely burnt by the heat. Jake really outdid himself this time.

Keeping the time in mind, you run as fast as you can up the hill only stopping once you're sure you got a safe distance away from the bomb. You wait for a minute to catch your breathe before starting to run up the hill once again. You really wanted to get to the flag before Soonyoung. Reaching the top, you slow down to a tip-toe, not wanting to alert the demigods guarding the flag.

Peeking your head out of the woods, you look around trying to locate the flag. This was a barren patch of the hill, with little to no grass growing on it. Slowly taking a step forward, you keep your sword ready just incase it was needed. Seeing the flag at the edge of the hill, you smile triumphantly before you notice the person beside it.

Oh.

Even though he had his back turned towards you, you could still recognise him anywhere. You take slow steps towards the flag, hoping they would not notice. You'd rather not fight with Jun today. You stop in your step as Mia looks up from her seat beside the flag and notices you. Well, there goes your plan of not fighting.

She whispers something to Jun and you stay rooted at your spot as he turns towards you. Something which you didn't want to decipher crosses through his eyes as he takes out his sword and steps towards you.

"Look, I don't want to fight. Can you just give me the flag? I'll get out of your hair after that. I just really need to beat Soonyoung", you say as you look into his eyes. You could feel yourself getting pulled into them before you shake your head slightly and look away. It was always those damned eyes. Jun suppresses a smile, deciding to tease you slightly as he replies, "Tell me why you've been avoiding me for so long first and maybe then I'll give you the flag. Otherwise you'll just have to win it from me."

Your breath stutters as you take in his words, your gaze jumping around all over his face. He had grown his hair slightly and a few strands were falling into his eyes. You clenched your hand, fighting the urge to brush them back. This was not the time to be having these thoughts about Jun. You smile, deciding to go along with his teasing as you reply, "Game on then, Mia you're the referee for this match."

Mia raised her eyebrows as she nodded. She didn't want to witness a match between the two of you. There were already enough moments like these throughout the year, but if this was what it might take to get you both to finally talk to each other, then she would be all for it. She couldn't stand Jun moping around for another day.

You both unclasp your swords and stand in front of each other. Though Jun preferred Archery more than sword fighting, he was pretty good at using a sword as well. He had grown up observing Soonyoung and you training, and he had picked up on a few tricks himself.

Stepping forward, he waits for you to deliver the first blow. He had no plans of playing the offensive today. Quite frankly, the only reason he suggested this match was so that he could spend some time with you where you didn't act as if he never existed.

You take a swipe at his side, watching him block your sword and pushing it away slightly, making you frown. Why wasn't he attacking you today? You go at him with even more force but watch him do the same thing again. "Why are you not putting your full effort today Jun?" you ask, your frown deepening. "What do you mean, this is my best", he replied, casually stepping away from one of your attacks.

You scrunch your eyebrows, before deciding to play a move which would force him to attack you. "Look, you really aren't doing your best! You could've easily defeated me right here. Why are you going easy on me?!" you exclaim after seeing him twist his wrist and disarm you for a second, before kicking your sword back towards you. He just smiles slightly, deepening your frown. Gods, he was so annoying.

Remembering that you still had a match to win, you come to the conclusion that his strategy might just be to distract you from bringing their flag to your team. Deciding to finish the fight, you fling your leg around his, his sword rattling somewhere away as you point yours to his neck.

You both huff, taking deep breaths of air as Jun starts to smile. "You're still as competitve as ever, glad to see that hasn't changed", he says, looking up at you, making you roll your eyes as you pull your sword away from him.

You stretch your neck as you pick up the flag, looking at Mia who simply raises her hands in surrender. You stop near Jun, who was still laying on the ground as you say, "And you've gone soft, Junnie." Looking at the smile he gives you, you can't help but break out into a grin of your own before schooling your expression. Stepping away from him, you nod at both of them before breaking into a run down the hill. You still had a match to win.

The way back to your team wasn't very difficult. You just had to set off the heat bomb once, though this time they were faster in running away than before. The swim across the river was also easier than before, which was something that made you feel more energised than ever.

Reaching your team site, you see Soonyoung tapping his foot on the ground with his arms crossed. He breaks out into a smile as you run towards him while removing your helmet and say, "You didn't even stand a chance Soonie, I got there before you."

He takes the flag out of your hands with a chuckle as he ruffles your hair. "You are correct about that, the climb up the cliff was way too difficult", he says with a groan as he stretches. "I told you it was reckless and difficult but when do you ever listen to me", you scold him as you cross your arms. He just laughs at you fondly before you ask, "Did the other team even manage to capture our flag?"

"No, our defense was really strong. They spent most of the game in a sword fight and at last they gave up", Soonyoung replied with a shrug as he leads you to the rest of the team. The team breaks out into cheers as they see the flag in Hoshi's hands. This was the first Capture the Flag you had participated in after the war and you were glad you had managed to win for the team.

You see the opponent team approach as you all gather towards the fountain waiting for Chiron to announce your team as the winner. You spot Jun, only to find him already looking at you with a smile. You frown at him in return. Weird, didn't he hate you? You hear Soonyoung stifle a chuckle making you look at him with the same frown still present on your face.

"What's so funny?" you ask him. "Nothing, just the fact the you're so oblivious it's actually hurting me", he replies with a shrug, still grinning. Was he talking about Jun? Just as you're about to question him further, you see Chiron emerge, everyone hushing each other to listen to the winning announcement.

Chiron clears his throat, pushing his glasses up as he says, "The winner of this week's Capture the Flag competition is Team 1 which was led by Soonyoung. They especially had very good defense strategy. Give them a round of applause." You grin as you clap with the rest of the demigods, happy about how the day had turned out.

Everyone started dispersing when Connor suddenly shouts, "Oh, what is that?". You turn to look at where he was pointing and see the Oracle of Delphi slowly approaching the crowd. Shriveled-looking with long black hair clung to her skull, she wore a headband and a tie-dyed green dress. Her beaded necklaces moved with each step she took.

You take a step back, trying to blend into the crowd hoping that she wouldn't approach you regarding the prophecy. Remembering that the Oracle's presence always affected Mia and Jun more, your turn to look at them. You see Jun clutching his head, before his gaze suddenly snapped to you.

His worried look only scared you more as you took another step back, watching the crowd split to make way for her. Her steps, slow as ever, continue to walk towards where you were just moments ago and stop in front of Soonyoung. You huff out a breath, relieved, immediately feeling guilty later for such a reaction.

A green mist pours out of her mouth, surrounding each one of the demigods as her hissing, echoey voice starts echoing inside your head.

You shall go east, along with the daughter of sea

A journey, embark on it or destruction you shall see

Venturing into the ever-changing maze

You shall realize the fate in the haze

Face the undefeated once again

Conquer it and power you shall regain

The Oracle of Delphi collapses onto the rock beside Soonyoung, her eyes turning black, probably never to move again for many centuries to come. You make your way through the crowd, reaching Soonyoung and placing a hand on his shoulder. You feel the eyes of rest of the campers on the two of you as Chiron ushers all the cabin heads to the Big House.

Turning back, you look at Jun standing with his lips pursed and arms crossed. He meets your eyes almost immediately and you could see the waves of worry in them even from such a distance. The quest mentioned a Daughter of the Sea. Unless Poseidon had a secret daughter you never knew of, it was you that was supposed to go on this quest with Soonyoung.

You look back at Hoshi worriedly and he reaches up to squeeze your hand on his shoulder slightly before letting go as you both walk towards The Big House together. Looking back, you see all of the other cabin heads following you, Jun included, with his head down and fist clenched deep into his pocket.

You face the door again, the voices of Mr.D and Chiron already audible. This was the first quest assigned to a demigod after the war, nobody daring to seek the Oracle till now. Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand to knock on the door before hearing a faint "Come in". You look at Soonyoung as he opens the door for the both of you to step in.

Here we go again.

[chogiwaw]

omgggggg cant wait to read thiss!!

[cxffecoupx]

Caramel Pudding | part one

jeon wonwoo × medical intern!f!reader grey's anatomy!au medical drama, romance, angst warnings: hospital settings, incorrect use of medical terms (i'm extremely sorry) sickness, mentions of surgery or other treatments, death of the main or side characters. wc: 3628 author’s notes: part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab!! I can only hope I've done even half the justice to the show. this might also be my first time with such a long fic. working on part two right now, but i really hope you enjoy this one! do let me know what you think! Check out other works in the collab: Blockbuster Collab Masterlist

[July, 2007]

"The patient is showing signs of internal bleeding. We need a CT scan to confirm the source, so someone see to tha-"

"Dr. Bailey…" the nurse pops her head in to call the doctor. "Psst, Dr. Bailey."

"What is it now, Judy?" Dr. Bailey tries to look calm but the annoyance is clear in her voice.

Nurse Judy sighs before she gives Bailey the news.

"The interns are fighting again."

In the middle of the surgical floor stood three bickering doctors, their voices rising louder than the last. The entire floor is listening, with interested eyes and curious ears. Patients peek out from their rooms and nurses stop in their tracks to listen in. The buzz of a hospital is all but still around the doctors, but none of them seem aware of that.

"Do any one of you fools want to explain to me what is happening on my surgical floor?"

All heads turn at once at the booming voice. Dr. Bailey stands beside them now, hands folded and eyebrow raised. two of the doctors immediately turn their heads down, while the other just rolls his eyes.

"Dr. Karev, care to tell me what is happening instead of just standing there and rolling your eyes?" Bailey speaks.

"Just some intern drama, really. They were arguing about the charts and I was trying to negotiate."

"Negotiate, my foot! I wanted Mr. Adams' chart. Lexie wouldn't hand it to me, so I was talking to her about it. If there was any argument here, you're the one who added to it," one of the interns shouts at the elder doctor, Alex Karev.

"Keep your voice down," Bailey orders, "..what was your name?"

"Alex Shepherd."

"You're… Derek's sister."

Alex sighs before replying, "…yes."

Bailey steps closer to her.

"It's nice to have you here, Alex. But you are an intern. As you must already know, you are at the bottom of the surgical food chain, so don't walk around thinking you're important just because you're an attending's sister. Do you hear me?"

"I wasn't doing any of that. Like I said, I wanted the chart, I was asking for it, Dr. Karev stepped in for absolutely no reason and started arguing with me, while Lexie was just blabbering on about keeping quiet. It wasn't completely my fault-"

"I said, do you hear me?" Bailey asks once again.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good," she concludes and starts walking away. Then, she stops.

"Oh, and all three of you are off the surgical cases today. I don't want you anywhere here for the entire day."

"Dr. Bailey, that's absur-" Alex starts speaking. Bailey turns and points to him.

"Karev, you're doing all the pending paperwork in a closed and quiet room. You two," she then turns towards the interns, Alex and Lexie, before continuing, "you're both volunteering at the clinic today."

None of them move.

"I was serious when I said I don't want to see any of you here. Now, move!"

The doctors scurry away.

[Alex's POV]

"You know, you could say sorry," Lexie speaks as the you two head towards the clinic.

"'Sorry'? Why should I say sorry?" you bite back.

"I don't know, maybe for starting that whole commotion over there?" Lexie drops her hands into the pockets of her coat, throwing an exasperated look at you.

"If you'd have handed over the chart, there would have been no discussion. Also, I literally saved your ass from Bailey over there. If anything, you're supposed to be thanking me," you shrug your shoulders.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm glad to be finally working at the clinic- Oh! We could take up patients and work on them together, that'll be fun," Lexie states.

"Lexie, once we get inside, let's work at opposite ends of the clinic, please. I've dealt with you enough today," you reply, before stepping into the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic.

The Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic was a free clinic established by Dr. Bailey as part of the hospital. While Dr. Bailey always had the plan to start the clinic, it was actualised when Dr. Stevens funded the project with the money that Denny Duquette, her fiancé, had left for her after his death.

Ah yes, the infamous Izzie-Denny lore; a love story for ages.

"Did you know a doctor here ended up falling in love with her patient?" an intern mumbles to her friend at the back of the intern locker room.

"Oh! I've heard that it was actually Izzie Stevens… Apparently she cut his LVAD wire to get him a heart through the transplant list."

"Woah… But if he got the heart, how did he die then?"

"It was a stroke after the surgery. I heard someone say that Izzie lay beside him, crying in her prom dress after she came to visit him. She quit, but then when she returned, she was placed on probation. Imagine having to go through all of that."

"Wait, there was a prom at Seattle Grace?"

"Oh, you didn't hear about that?…"

The locker doors shut close, and the voices die down as the girls walk out while chatting. The room was empty save for two or three people getting their stuff. you scoff to yourself when you rewind their conversation, and you hear a sniff from somewhere beside you. Lexie Grey.

"Imagine loving someone so much you'd commit medical crime for them," she says, shaking her head while another cascade of tears rush out her eyes.

You can only roll your eyes, at the ridiculous story and the ever more ridiculous reaction, before walking out the room, leaving a very distraught Lexie behind.

You promised to yourself to never be a doctor like Izzie Stevens.

You head over to the waiting area in your clinic scrubs, feeling hopeful that you wouldn't have much to do because there were very few people waiting. You call one of them into the examination room, taking your time to get to the problem and deal with it, handing over any medicines or prescription before calling in the next person. After about half an hour, you notice only one more guy sitting in the area. You head over to him.

"Hello sir, I'm Dr. Shepherd. how can I help you today?"

He turns his head to you at your sound, and that's when you notice the cut on the side of his forehead. You're not sure, but if you gasped at that, you managed to make it silent enough to not let him know.

"I fell and got this cut, I just wanted to close it up as soon as possible," he says.

The cut looked deep, and if it was painful, he was doing a good job hiding it.

"I can stitch it up. Please follow me to the examination room."

Inside, you quickly wear a new set of gloves before retrieving a suture kit and heading over to the man sitting on the bed. You notice him looking around and taking in the surroundings, glasses perched on his nose that gives a little sparkle to his eyes.

You clean the wound and start stitching up the wound, not noticing the way you grab his head closer to you or the way he tenses up at your actions. He grips the bedding as you insert the needle, heaving a sigh of relief when he's finally let go. He tenses once again when you pull him in to put a bandage over the stitch.

"Make sure to keep the bandage on for at least 24 hours, and do not get it wet. try not to sweat either." you instruct, before continuing.

"Okay sir, I'm gonna check for a few things; can you tell me your name?" You ask as you click on your penlight to perform a quick neurofunctioning test.

"Jeon Wonwoo," the man replies.

"And how old are you, Mr. Jeon?"

"I'm 28."

"And can you tell me what caused the wound?"

"I was just walking into the kitchen. I don't remember much, but I think I hit my foot or something, and the next thing I know, I was on the floor, bleeding."

"Okay Mr. Jeon. The wound was shallow, so the stitches will do. There isn't anything notably abnormal, so you're free to go. But remember, do not remove the bandage or get it wet. And please do visit immediately if you experience any headaches or abnormalities, okay?"

The guy nods a quick yes, smiling and bowing before exiting the room.

After a few more check-ups, you leave the clinic to head over to Joe's bar for a drink before heading home.

[September 2007; Alex's POV]

You're in the clinic duty once again, and you genuinely think there hasn't been a more boring day in your life. There are a few non-serious cases here and there, and no casualities in the ER at all, much to the disappointment for everyone in the emergency room duty, which is precisely why you were sent to the clinic.

You busy yourself with doing some overdue paperwork when you hear George calling out for you. You turn to find him standing beside you.

"There's someone in the waiting room who's requesting for you," he says quietly, peeking through the curtain to get another look at the guy. "Why is he requesting for you?"

You don't even know who he's talking about, so you're met with a surprise when you walk over and see the guy from a few weeks back sitting on one of the chairs, looking around in awe.

Jeon Wonwoo? Was that his name?

you head over to him. George tags along.

"Hi sir, what's brought you in today?"

"Hi, nice to meet you- erm, wait, should I be saying that at a hospital? That wouldn't make it very pleasant, would it? Oh, um, anyways-," he pauses and proceeds to take his mask off, "I needed to show this."

You're surprised with this man once again, because here he was, months after his first visit with a cut on his forehead, now sitting in front of you, with a cut and a bruise on his cheek now.

Honestly, how does he manage to do this?

"Oh okay, woah-" You exclaim, and George nudges you. You close your mouth immediately.

"The reaction makes sense," the man chuckles, before pushing his glasses up. "What do I do about this?"

"Since you asked for her, Dr. Shepherd here can stitch up the cut for you and apply something for the bruise," George responds.

It takes some 15 minutes for you to stitch up the wound on the cheek. Once you're done with your work, you step back and look at it. Not that good, it'll definitely leave a scar.

"Let me just apply some ointment real quick. Does the bruise hurt, Mr. Jeon?"

"It hurt for the first few minutes, now I'm fine though- Go ahead, ask what you want to," he says when you observe the bruise while treating it.

"I just don't understand how you manage to get these cuts, it makes no sense. Are you sure you're okay, sir?"

You instinctly start taking another neuro exam on him, just to confirm your doubts. But just like the last time, nothing abnormal shows up.

"I don't really remember this time, actually. I think i might have hit my face on something around the room, but I just can't remember."

"Well, since there's nothing abnormal on the test, I think I should let you go, but this is concerning, and I strongly urge you to get it checked."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Doctor…?" he trails off. You reply.

"I'm Alex Shepherd."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. Hopefully we won't have to meet again."

He gives another one of his warm smiles before pushing his glasses up and leaving.

George teleports next to you, "are my eyes cheating on me or am i seeing you flustered after treating the man?"

"Oh, just shut up!"

[October, 2007; Alex's POV]

You're finishing up your routine rounds with Meredith, your resident. She's different than her sister, more stern and serious and definitely less cheery than Lexie is. Sometimes you wonder how this came to happen, and then you remember they're only half-sisters; and when your mother is THE Ellis Grey, the world-famous surgeon with two Harper Avery Awards, it's no surprise if you're all dark and twisty with your head solely in the game.

You're not a big fan of her though. She's said to be a really good resident, second only to Cristina Yang, probably. But she was also Derek's girlfriend, and it goes without saying that at some point, you ought to hate your big brother's ex-girlfriend.

"Hey!" you jump at the unusually chirpy, familiar voice.

"Hi. Why are you so chirpy in the morning?" you ask Lexie, looking at her and finally noticing her appearance. "And why are you wearing that?" you point to the bonnet on her head.

She looks ridiculous.

"It's Halloween! Of course I'm dressing up on Halloween. So what if I'm working at a hospital. It's holidays like these that bring people together and cheer them up. So I get to wear my bonnet and wear fake-freckles and make patients laugh, because it's Halloween."

George joins you a little later. Lexie visibly stiffens when he drapes his hand over her schoulder. You sttruggle against a smirk, making a mental note of asking her about it as the three of you walk to the cafeteria for some snacks.

Over at the cafeteria, Derek calls for you.

"Alex!" he shouts, and you jog over to him.

"Hey, whatchu doin'?" you eye his cup.

"Just getting some coffee. How's your first year going?"

"Oh god, don't remind me. The interns are like perky little high school girls that gossip over everything. I don't think they know how to intubate someone correctly." you roll your eyes.

He chuckles in response, "you feel that because you've grown up with medical talks in your house. Cut them some slack, Lex," he says as he sips his coffee. "Have you met Lexie? She's the same year right?"

"Oh please, don't get me started on her. I don't know how she's always in such a good mood; she's always smiling and joking with her patients. I don't think there are any serious bones in her body."

"You say all that, but then I see you walk around with her," he side-eyes you with a smirk as you say that. You can only groan at his face.

"Well, she's okay then, I guess. She's actually pretty brilliant, you know? Photographic memory and all…"

"Look, I know you're having trouble relating to people here, but this is just your first year. You've only just started. And I know you didn't want to come here for your internship, but Seattle Grace has a lot to offer as well. Just… give it a try, hmm?"

"oh my god, you sound so old and wise, it's lowkey embarassing," you make a stinky face at him as you stand to get lunch, but then break into a smile.

"don't you wanna have lunch with your old man?" he laughs back. His pager starts beeping.

"don't you have work to attend to, old man?" you laugh and head over to get some food.

By afternoon, you decide to go to the clinic to help out a bit, considering the ER was getting a little too stuffy for your own comfort. The clinic was empty, and while you'd be happy to get some time to spend alone, without any cases, the fact that there really were no patients when you wanted to just do some work, made the feeling of uselessness even more prominent in your heart.

"Is someone here?" A voice booms out.

Your head lifts up at the sound, and you notice a man standing at the door, clutching something tightly in his arm. You rush over and realise the man was clutching his own arm into his chest. You look up to the man and realise once again that it was the same guy once again.

"Mr. Jeon? What's the matter with your arm?" You ask in alarm as you take his arm and pull it forward to observe. There's a cut — which, from this man, it doesn't really surprise you anymore — that seemed superficial and fresh, sharp enough for you to presume that it was from a knife or something similar.

"Just the usual, really. I was making some lunch for myself. My roommate called me and I turned around, but I think I did that too quickly because it started feeling dizzy and then I heard the knife falling to the ground before I followed it."

You've seated him on a bed now, cleaning and stitching up the wound, as has become pretty regular with this guy. Other than the slight hisses of pain here and there, the two of you remain silent, heartbeats echoing through the empty hall.

"The cut isn't serious, but the repeated fainting is getting more concerning, Mr. Jeon. Are you sure you're alright? Do you feel dizzy now?" You ask as you flash light to check his pupils.

"I understand. I'm perfectly fine, I just don't understand why this keeps happening at the most random moments."

"Well, I can refer you to a neurosurgeon perhaps, get you checked out completely?" you offer, partly because it is your duty, but partly because it really was getting concerning at this point. This was the third time in four months now, with similar wounds.

"I promise you, I'm completely alright. And I don't have the time or the finance to invest into a consult right now. I'm going home for the holidays in a few months, maybe I can do something about it then," he just smiles at you, just like always.

"Well, okay then Mr. Jeon. The same instructions apply as always: do not remove, do not wet, visit it there are any more problems. Take care, sir."

He offers a slight bow before saluting at you and heading off. You watch him, worry still heavy in your heart about just what might be wrong with him. There clearly is something, but it's small enough to let him continue functioning. A deeper check-up would have given you your answers by now…Just as he leaves, Lexie walks in.

"You will not believe what just happened- a guy just cut his own foot off with a chainsaw. All by himself! Come on!"

All your concerns about Wonwoo leaves your mind at the news. Your day just got a lot more interesting.

That evening, you're sitting in Joe's bar, nursing your glass of beer. Lexie sits beside you, holding her glass of gin and tonic.

"I still don't understand how someone could just cut off their own leg, I mean, I don't think it gets more crazy than that." Lexie shudders at the thought.

"You never really know what people are going through at times. I mean, he said his foot felt like 'not his foot'. He must have been going mad with that feeling."

"Still, it's a crazy thing to do, cutting off a perfectly good foot."

You both sit in silence, while others around you chatter in merry drunkenness.

"Lexie, you remember the guy who was walking out the clinic today, when you came to call me?" You ask, and she nods in reply.

"It's weird. It's the third time the guy has shown up to the clinic, just in the past four months, each time with a cut or a wound on his body. At first it was on his forehead; he said he fainted while walking. Then it was his cheek; and he had no memory of what happened at all. And then today, it was his hand; he said he got dizzy and cut himself with a knife."

"Clumsy people exist, Alex. I'm one of them," she admits.

"No, I don't think that's it. I do a neuro test every time, and every time nothing abnormal shows up. But I have this feeling that something is wrong."

"How about you suggest a neuro consult?"

"I did; he refused it. Said he'll look into it when he goes home for the holidays."

"Well, if he's refusing it, there's not much we can do. But, why are you stuck up on this?"

"Nothing really. The circumstances feel weird each time, that's all."

You slip into silence once again.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you by the way," you turn to Lexie abruptly. She raises one eyebrow.

"Do you have a crush on O'Malley?" You smirk.

Lexie spits out her drink.

[December, 2007]

One minute you're sipping your coffee.

The next, you're running into the ER to respond to your page. You see Lexie running over from another corner of the hospital, and you rush down the stairs to reach there first. Alex Karev waits for you at the end of the hall.

"28 year old man, brought in the ambulance by his friend, who called 9-1-1. Friend says he found the guy bleeding at the end of the stairs, and found him unresponsive. There's a heartbeat, but he's unconscious right now. The head injury seems deep and serious."

The other interns wheel the guy into an ER room.

A tall man, who was standing beside you all this time, whimpering and covered in blood, starts speaking, "Doctor, he was bleeding a lot, is he gonna be alright?"

The man starts crying again. You place a hand on his arm.

"Sir, we will try our best to take care of him, do you hear me? Now, can you tell me your friend's name?"

"His name is Jeon Wonwoo."

taking the time here to thank @belovedgyu @jakedustry @nerdycheol for hosting this collab and all the arrangements and the opportunity. It's been a very long time since i've written or posted anything and this gave me the motivation (and the deadline) to finish one; i'm so so grateful! and to all my lovely writers @mellowgyu @cherrymayz @luvrung @hopecutie @gentleisa @caratchronicles @chogiwaw @paradiseonthemoon @choco-scoups @pomegranate-teardrop @cxffecoupx @onionhassayyo thank you so so much for all the hype since the beginning, especially your reactions to my story summary. i really hope i was able to meet you guys' expectations with this. looking forward to read all your works now!! all the best, and i love you guys <33

[chogiwaw]

its out everyonee!!! cant wait to read this!!

[choco-scoups]

Love, Intertwined | l.ch (Part I)

Summary : When a series of unfortunate circumstances leaves the stranger you fell in love with, holding a bad impression of you, you decide that maybe love wasn't in your cards yet and try to move on. But what happens when your path keeps intertwining, taunting you to cross the line? Will you dare again? Or will you not?

Pairing : Lee Chan x Fem! Reader

AU : Business Proposal AU

Word count : 11,300 (part one)

Genre : Romcom, Fluff, Slow Burn, Angst

Warnings : None for this part. Smut warnings for second part.

Author's Note : This fic has been written as part of blockbusters collab hosted by the amazing @nerdycheol, @jakedustry and @belovedgyu. Go and check out works of the other wonderful writers!!

It has been an wonderful experience to be part of something so new and create a community of people I adore. This has been beta-read by @nerdycheol and @caratchronicles who were the sweetest and helped me through things, thanks a lot loveliess!!!

Part two | Playlist | Character Mood boards | Main Masterlist

Love wasn't something that came to you easily — parents who cared more about their careers, friends who cared more about your money, colleagues who ran around you for the status. It didn't matter who or when, everyone sucked up to you for their benefit, not because they liked you nor that they thought you were funny.

But there was someone who you considered more as a family than a friend, Jieun. You were once paired up for a project in your sophomore year in high school, both of you staying on the same wavelength since your first conversation. One thing led to another and you were staying at her home overnights for projects, her mom treating you as one of her children. You both have been inseparable since, and the best friend each other could ask for.

But it seems like she might be rethinking her choices right now.

"Just this once, Jieun? You are the only one who can get me out of this." You kneel in front of her, praying she accepts your pleading to go on the date instead of you.

"That was before I got a job, I told you I wouldn't be doing anything like that after." She argues, a valid statement but you were desperate.

Your father has set you up on another blind date. Despite having a reputation as someone who isn't a great person to go on a date with — something you and Jieun worked together to maintain, where she would attend dates for you and make the guys terrified that they'd end up running away.

"What if the person is someone I'll be facing in the future? This is dangerous." Jieun adds, downing another shot of soju, half drunk murmuring to herself about something you didn't bother listening.

You stand up, holding her hands as you sigh thinking about what you were going to do next. She just looks at you, her doe eyes confused, and it clicks — an idea that might tempt her.

"What if i paid you?" Silence stretches the moment you utter those words, Jieun blinks for a few seconds before looking at you like you were crazy.

You show an amount you typed in your notes app, she immediately stands up holding your phone.

"That's my salary for a month." She gasps, her mouth wide open. She sobers up because of you, hitting your arm making you cry out in pain when she asks, "Why are you getting down to such drastic measure, you idiot?"

"I just hate blind dates, i want to find love naturally. Imagine, I would be walking home—"

"No, please don't start your delusions again, I'll end up falling asleep here." Jieun begs you, pouring soju in both of your shot glasses, she raises hers up toasting you, "I'll go," She answers, you cheer in excitement, both of you clinking your glasses downing the soju.

"You better transfer the money soon," Jieun teases, dragging you along to a nearby karaoke. You nod, telling her you will and that she is the best person in the whole world.

The evening wind embraces you, leaving you feeling that you were going to remember this night for ages to come. It just brings a giddy smile to your face.

The headache that started in the morning doesn't go away even after 2 bottles of hangover juice you downed. So you walk to the dining room to have some breakfast only to see your father already in his seat.

"Good Morning," Your morning is ruined.

You walk across the table sitting far away from your father, who is completely focused on the breakfast in front of him.

He looks at you, probably waiting for a reply as you break the gaze and look at Mrs.Chae.

The old lady coos at you when you pout talking about how hard work is while she adds a few more pieces of scrambled egg on your plate patting your hair.

She was someone who took care of you and loved you more than your father — who at this moment just glares at you for ignoring him.

"You should finish it all up, you little girl." She says before walking away.

"Don't mess up this date," your father looks at you sternly. "I cannot repair the damages you make anymore," he says frustrated.

"Sure," you reply coldly, eating your breakfast for Mrs. Chae and completely ignoring your father for the rest of it.

He just huffs, walking away from the table murmuring about how he spoiled his daughter and that she was going to be the end of him because of the stress she causes.

It hurts a little to hear that, but you shrug it away completely used to your father and his ways of emotional manipulation.

After the death of your mother, your father completely lost himself in work. And soon you grew up, all alone in your so-called house.

He always saw you as someone who would take over his company and uphold his legacy. A complete structured plan. He never cared for you if it meant his objectives were not going to be met. He never loved you enough to know that if he had ever tried, maybe there would be hope to mend your relationship with him.

He never asked. So you stopped caring.

Defying him you stayed as the Marketing team lead at Marine Group, the same company he wanted you to takeover, since three years. You decided to take away something so important to him, and never bend to any of his ways to get you to run his company.

If it made him happy, you were definitely not going to do it.

Your phone vibrated on the table, pulling you out of your thoughts. You smile seeing Jieun's name on it as you answer.

"Hello, my darling!"

"Good morning to you too. Don't we have clothes to shop for, your majesty?" She chuckles as you gasp.

"I forgot. I'm coming to pick you up, get ready!"

"Okay, drive safe." She laughs as you cuss yourself about forgetting.

You call Mrs.Chae to inform her that you were leaving and she responds back with a "drive safe!" as you rush out of your house to pick up Jieun.

"What is our theme?" You ask Jieun as she stands with her hands crossed pacing in front of you, you watch as gears turn in her head.

"Materialistic. Guys hate women who are completely money minded." She answers. She looks around and holds a dress, "The brands need to be completely visible." She adds, you watch in complete awe of how smart your best friend was. No wonder she was a researcher, she knew her stuff.

You get to work along with her, glad your friend was down to allow you booking their shop for a few hours. You both were here with a few staff and no customers, and a peace of mind as you get ready for battle.

"How does this look?"

"Boring."

"No lace."

"This?"

"I'm not a old lady, put it away."

"How do I look?"

"Perfect."

It takes the two of you around three hours to finally pick an outfit and put it together before you feel like you might end up pulling your hair out.

A black sequin midi dress, strapless paired with a cream fur coat that was a perfect fit while still showing off the dress that hugged her curves tight. She suggested that accessories were supposed to be over the top of brands that should be shown out very subtly but loud at the same time.

A pair of black heels, and a handbag that cost "an arm and a leg" Jieun gasped.

"That looks perfect," you state as she checks herself in the mirror.

"Moving onto base two," you wave the makeup brush around like a wand, making her chuckle as she takes a seat.

"I trust you," she says closing her eyes, completely giving you authority over the makeup betting on your good skills. Now you couldn't disappoint her, could you?

You go with your instinct on what feels right more than any piece of media as an inspiration. A few strokes, and your hands aching a bit later, you take a step back looking at your work.

Smoky glitter eyes, lipstick the shade of blood and highlights that make her face look sharp and snatched. The wig she chose falls in waves over her shoulders, covering her face in all the right places. All of it being nothing less than what you were going for.

"Look at yourself" Jieun turns towards the mirror, her smile widening as she stares at herself.

"Let's go and ruin this date." She yells. You join her, jumping around in excitement for the date tonight.

You drive her, both of you singing your hearts out to keep your moods bright and stay confident.

"Thank you," you tell her little guilty of making her do this for you. As you wait at a red light, She just turns to you staring for a minute, her head tilted, before she just huffs out a laugh.

"You would have done the same for me. So now shut up, Britney is on." You smile. But she said it was okay, so it must be.

You do promise to yourself that if it meant she smiled like that, you would do anything for your best friend.

Soon the night falls, and you arrive at the restaurant. You reverse your car, parking it in a slot waiting as she reapplies her lip gloss.

"You look gorgeous," you whisper admiring her from a far.

"I feel gorgeous," she says giggling like a child, you join her but the duty brings you back to reality.

"Do you remember the plan?"

"Do questionable things, act completely materialistic, flaunt about your dad's estates and act like someone with no sense of mind." She answers, the plan you both went through few nights ago when you were trying out different ways to act on various scenarios.

"Yes! Now go, you're already late." She looks at you, her face changing from the funny loving person she was till a second ago to someone who is a complete brat and hated anyone beneath her. Completely immersed in her role.

"Wow, I love you." You utter, completely in a trance, she just waves at you getting down as she walks into the restaurant like a complete different person.

"She would have made a stellar actress," you murmur to yourself, thinking about her dream of becoming one.

Because of many family issues that held her back, she couldn't go ahead to pursue that dream of hers. You never knew how she managed to keep such a big smile despite having many things troubling her. It made you want to be there for her whenever she needed because that was the only help she'd lean on you for.

You shake your head as you watch her go in. Your feelings a mix of guilt, anxiety and maybe a little bit of excitement to know what kind of tricks she might pull to make this man go running. You send her a text asking her to message you once she reaches home, to which she replies with heart and an 'i got this'. It does bother you a bit, again, but she reassures you. You drive out of the parking lot hoping for the best, and hoping that this would be the last time any of this ever happens again.

"There were many stories about them, did you not hear?" Yunjin continued, the rest of the team moving their chairs closer to her to listen to her story.

It was a ritual, at every team dinner one person was supposed to go ahead and tell the scariest, bone chilling story they've heard or experienced. Even though, half of them were cowards, none of them cared a bit and lived just for the thrill of listening it together. It all began when your intern—now an associate, wanted to build rapport between the team, and at that time it didn't really seem like a bad idea. Because your team, was always down for anything other than work.

They were pretty good at what they did, but were also people who would get tired and exhausted very easily, that any team building activity was a good thing. It would keep them moving, looking forward to team dinners that always made you all end up at the nearest karaoke crying as Seungkwan and Seokmin sang ballads.

"I've never heard of that before," Tzuyu chimes in, completely lost on what they were even talking about.

"That makes the two of us," You reply. Yunjin just whips her head at you for that, a glare almost rising in her eyes.

"Just because I entertain you guys' stories, does not mean you can forget that I'm the team leader," you warn her and the glare slowly morphs into the smile. Seungkwan just clears his throat catching everyone's attention, and he raises his phone to show the time on his screen. It was already past 10.

"That sucks," Seokmin mutters under his breath. You just scoff at him knowing very well he is gonna end up screaming his lungs out if they continued talking about the horror stories.

"I'm afraid we have to disperse for the night." Everyone nods at you, gathering their things and saying their goodbyes. You wave back them as you stand at the counter, making sure everyone has left or hitched a ride while you pay the bill. The owner hands you the receipt. You stuff it in your bag before offering her a smile and walk back to your car.

The chilly night air envelops you as you walk. You stuff your hands into your overcoat pockets for any kind of warmth. It has been a day, no call or message from Jieun on how everything went yesterday at the date. It made you worry, but you were sure she will reach out when she gets free.

"Work has been exhausting" was what you heard from her the last time you asked about it. You knew her, she was someone who would not back down unless everything was set perfectly.

As you get in your car, you decide to send a text just so your heart could be at peace.

The drive back home was silent, not the kind that made you fall in love with the stars that seemed to twinkle in the sky, but the kind that was like a calm just before a storm. You wondered that if it was because of the stories your team was talking about that ran in your mind, you thought maybe that was why everything felt eerie.

Your ringtone breaks the silence, you accept the call and Jieun's voice fills your car.

"Good evening, Sunshine." You greet her, the nickname you gave her rolling off of your tongue, so easily, as breathing. You hear her scoff and it makes you laugh.

"How did yesterday go?" You ask her, waiting for the traffic light to change so you can move. She doesn't answer you, just the sounds of sheets from her end of the call.

"Did you know who the date was?" She answered a minute later, the traffic signals turning green letting you drive. Her voice sounds tensed and that just spreads to you too.

"No, I wanted to get it over with so I didn't bother asking the details. You knew all the information I learned about the date. Why do you ask?" You hear her just scoff, a chuckle follows and you hear the ruffles of the sheets, before a big stomp on the ground.

"Hey, I can't hear you. What happened, Jieun?" You park your car in the garage, waiting in the car wondering if you were supposed to be by her side or if she would kick you out if you visited.

"Choi Seungcheol, 'my' date, is the President of Gofood." She states her voice so close to a breakdown. It takes you a moment to register what she just uttered, and you gasp loudly.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"It means, I went on a date with my boss. Oh god, what am i going to do?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this as soon as you you were out of there,"

"I thought it wouldn't matter, but now I'm just scared." You sigh your head falling back onto the headrest.

"Do you think he'll find out?" Her voice is small, you almost mistake it for her whispering to herself. You stop your heart from talking, it wasn't helping you with all the what if's and the ways it could all go wrong. The gears in your mind running and a smile falls on your face.

"A President of a company and an employee would not be crossing paths at all, Love." You assure her with the facts, the other thoughts — those reminding you of all the ways anything could go wrong — you keep to yourself. This was your problem you were going to solve it. You did promise her that the date would be the last time you would ever involve her in your business.

"Are you sure?" She asks, her voice trembles a bit you wouldn't have noticed that tiny detail if you didn't know her the way you did.

"Yes. Now, don't worry about it at all. The date is over, the deal is over." You hear her sigh, and you feel a bit sane hearing her voice not carrying that tense tremble anymore. She calls your name, her voice sweet, and it reminds of, the time in the high school you swore you'd protect her.

"I wish your father will not send you on these damned dates again." You hear her curse your dad, a smile spreading through your face.

"I told you, this was going to be the last one. I'll move countries if he tries again."

"It will be the last one, I still remember his face when I started spewing utter nonsense." She continues telling about all the things she did to scare away the guy, you couldn't help but laugh till your stomach hurt, as she recalled the events of that night. Tears were streaming down your face as you walked past your father — who for some reason had the brightest smile on his face as he watched you laugh and it didn't sit right with you.

You went to sleep that night feeling a mix of emotions, happy that this was over and confused about why your father smiled at you, and tired because you had work tomorrow.

Being an adult definitely sucked.

Love was a synonym for privilege. That's what Lee Chan always thought.

He doesn't have a memory of his parents, nor anyone he could call family. Just the kids he met and became friends with at the Orphanage he grew up in.

But then entered Choi Seungcheol. The boy who accidentally spilled his milk on Lee Chan. The boy was a mess, he was crying and apologizing continuously worried he made an enemy instead of a friend.

That was when Chan found out, the boy who was older than him, and was a crying mess was actually the grandson of Choi Yeongjun, President of GoFood.

One day he was playing with his friends, the other, he was attending the same school as Seungcheol. All because the boy thought he was funny, and wanted to have a friend like him. Seungcheol was an only child, so his grandfather did everything the boy wanted, even let Chan stay with Seungcheol all the time.

Chan always considered him to be a big brother. They both studied together, ditched the classes to watch movies, got scolded by Seungcheol's grandfather — who at that point just considered Chan as his grandson too.

He received love from them, almost close to something everyone says a family could have. The hole that was left by his parents was slowly filled up by the family that found him. He was one of them.

And now, when his brother, seemed to want to marry the woman he had just met, the same one he said was "weird", Chan realized love was a privilege. Not everyone found it nor was trying to find it.

"You really are going to do it?" Chan asks once again, Seungcheol just nods reading the report he just got, completely focused on work.

"But, don't you think love is important? You said she was weird!" Chan argues.

He remembers Seungcheol getting into the car, him being out of mind. He just looked at Chan and blurt out that she was weird, completely materialistic. He had no idea what she did to make the one guy who loves money fear someone like her.

"Love is subjective. Right now all i want to do is take care of my work and get my grandfather off my back," The older one stated, not even looking up from his reports, driving Chan crazy.

His grandfather set blind dates for him, many stunning and talented women, and instead of going on another one to see if they match each other, Seungcheol just was hell bent of choosing the woman who was his date today.

"I'm going crazy," Chan grumbles because now the Chairman is going to get on his ass about this to convince the monster sitting on the President's chair. What could he do, Seungcheol was someone who would follow through on anything once he gives his word.

Chan walks out of his office, worried whatever his boss was suffering with would spread to him, he reaches a nearest convenience store hoping he might get some peace of mind as he looks at food.

He grabs a basket, loading with snacks he likes and one's his brother likes. The basket now filled with a bunch of junk food that would get him killed by his trainer if he knew.

Sweets, check.

Spicy, check.

He had to find some drinks to quench their thirst, so he walks around to the drink aisle only to find a woman standing in front of him as she leaves the door open holding two drinks in her hand, seemingly talking to herself.

"Who am I to not grant your wish?" He hears her say, as she drops one of them into her basket. He clears his throat so she could move and he would be able to buy—

He feels his heart stop.

The woman in front of him, turns around and stops as she looks at him. Time stops for a few seconds. Everything moving in slow motion, the way her eyes look at him — wide and big, a shade of brown that resembled leaves in fall season. Her hair short suiting her face so well, making her features brighten.

He watches, the way she takes a deep breath as she sees him, her mouth wide a gasp half out, nose crinkled at the moment.

He tilts his head, he feels his ears flush red and his body turn hot.

Chan realizes he is a goner.

The bottle in her hand falls and Chan immediately catches it.

"Thank you," her voice tickles his heart.

He tries to and fails so hard to look away from those eyes that shined bright, her hand warm as it laid on the bottle as he held it too, a distance so near yet so far away.

And when she blinks, her voice when she excused herself to move out of his way, he realizes something.

He fell in love. At first sight.

He stands there for a moment grabbing whatever drink he finds and walks away, unable to hide the bright smile on his face when he registers how she reached his shoulder when he stood beside her.

Maybe Seungcheol would never understand it, but Chan now knows that he has a chance at finding love. He just wishes he will find her again, in better circumstances than a random meeting that occurs when he was supposed to rush back to work.

It was a sign from the universe you realize, that your actions have intense consequences. Especially when you messed with the wrong person.

You were in your father's office, gripping the chair so tight your knuckles turn white. It all came crashing down on you, that you had no anchor in this storm.

"I knew you would come around someday." Your father was gleaming with pride. He couldn't stop talking about how this would help him and the company to grow more. And that you couldn't find a guy better than Choi Seungcheol.

You groan wondering where it all went wrong.

After work as everyone was dispersing, your father's secretary called you saying that the Chairman, your father, wanted to speak with you about something.

The moment you enter his office, he greets you with a smile, and you knew something was wrong. If your father was smiling, it just meant things are going to get hard for you. And it was indeed true because he wanted to talk to you about marriage.

Apparently, Choi Seungcheol, the guy who was the blind date Jieun went to instead of you, fell in love and now wants to marry the 'you' she pretended to be. It didn't make any sense. He wasn't supposed to fall in love and extend a hand for marriage, especially when you didn't want it.

You don't really say anything and walk out of his office. You rush to the nearest washroom, washing your face in hopes that this is just a nightmare. And that whatever your father was talking was just a lie your brain made up to play with you.

But the cold water did not seem to do the trick. You stared at your face, pale as if you've seen a ghost.

Your phone vibrating pulls you out of thoughts. The name on the screen just scares you more.

What were you going to tell Jieun? You had to tell her, right? Or maybe, she doesn't have to know. You did promise her that the date would be the last time she would get involved in any of the matters regarding so. And you didn't wanna stress her more about anything, when work was exhausting her enough.

You wipe your sweaty palms on your pants and pick up the call. You're thankful that when you greet her, your voice doesn't carry any emotion that would let her know that things got out of hand.

"I came across our president today." She whisper yells at you, and you feel the ground under your feet move out.

"We ended up taking the same elevator. I was shit scared the entire time, worried he might recognize me. And you know, he called me by my name, because my ID fell when i ran out of elevator to avoid him." She continues. You can hear her voice shaking and it doesn't help you, because now your body starts literally shivering.

The universe truly was fucking with you.

You drive to the nearest convenience store hoping to grab a few snacks before you head over to Jieun's. She told you about how she came across her boss at work, and bit your ear off as her mind wandered into all the what if's you swore you were going to not stress her about. The President of a company running into an employee is not much big of a deal, but also it rarely ever happens to the same person twice.

But Seungcheol running into Jieun on the same day had you and Jieun stressed. And this was only because of him running into her and knowing her name. You didn't want to think about how she'd react to the marriage proposal. She is going to kill you.

The bell rings as you get inside the store, walking around trying to find anything that would help you relax. You just move around the aisles, the music blasting from the speakers trying to slow down your heart beat a little, but to no avail.

You walk around throwing all the snacks you could find, the act of retail therapy you hoped would be a bit helpful trying its best to calm you down. You needed to prepare and be sensible if you were going to tell Jieun about the marriage proposal. She needed to know.

"Orange or Grape?" You think about it ending up in drink aisle, you see both flavors of your favorite drink, both of them seeming to call you asking you to take them with you.

"Who am I to not grant your wish," You hold onto both the flavors, a little better inside that you finally found them together. You drop one into your basket, your heart finally calming down a bit as your mind wanders to the drinks you finally found together than anything else. You turn around as a little twitch in your lips starts to form—

You stop dead in your tracks.

Standing in your way was a man, that looked like he just came out of a magazine page that described your ideal type.

He had a physique of someone who could move flexibly yet something that promised many things. He wore a long black coat his hair brushed back. But nothing seemed to come close to his eyes, chocolate brown shade and you swore you were a goner.

He just tilts his head, watching you take him in.

You lose the grip over the bottle in your hands, and you watch as the time passes in slow motion as he catches it, his muscles flexing a little as he does.

He hands it back to you, you murmur a thank you.

You were shy, your cheeks hurt from the smile on your face and you couldn't dare move your eyes away from his while both of you held the bottle, an act that felt so intimate.

Someone passes by and you move away coughing to clear the awkwardness.

He takes an orange juice bottle and smiles at you before walking away. You can't seem to take your eyes off his shoulders, the way they looked so broad making him even more hotter than he was before.

You feel yourself burning up, not being able to believe what you just saw.

Your heart does though, beating hard for the first time as you see the man. He smiles at the girl behind the counter says something and despite everything your mind seems to warn you about, your heart shuts it. And you realize that it was sending you a message.

That you fell in love. At first sight.

The moment you meet your best friend you spill your guts out. And to no ones surprise she was mad at you for even thinking about hiding things from her.

"I swear to god, if you hide anything from me again, I am going to kill you." she said. It made you laugh when you were so close to crying.

You took bad decisions, but what else were you to do than take decisions as such when the situation demanded it.

You couldn't convince your father to not set up dates, nor the men who he set you up with, because they were assholes. The one time you attended the date yourself, the guy did not seem to take a no and you had no other choice to let Jieun, who was so good at acting, get into play.

She saved you, in a way.

You never imagined you'd come across a guy so stubborn that he would want to marry a woman, who was not an ideal partner. Jieun's fake persona was nothing short of a human who was just burden, and had no sense of manners or responsibility, despite all of that he wanted to marry her.

You stayed the night at Jieun's, assuring her that you were going to fix this, and that Seungcheol would never know who she was. It seemed easier to promise her as you pat her back but this just meant you had to go and face the person yourself.

So you did what anyone would do in a situation like this. Assess the enemy.

Your research, a simple google search, lets you know that Seungcheol was someone who did not need an alliance from your family to be the richest in the country.

He comes from a wealthy family, far wealthy from yours. Studied in Harvard and works as the President of Gofood. He was behind many successful launches that made the shareholders pretty satisfied of his work. It just showed you that he was sensible and good at what he did. You threw your tab onto the edge of the couch and sprawled on it, as you watched Jieun sleep.

He did not need this marriage, he could have prospects far better than the person he met on the date. But seeing him even propose the idea just after the first date meant he was desperate. An idea crosses through your mind, making you smile as you stare up at the ceiling. You just hoped that your plan goes in the right direction.

The next day, you take a day off, and make an appointment to meet Seungcheol. The whole time Jieun holds your hand, and you swear you saw a flicker of pity cross her face as she watched you. It just made you feel more deep in shit. It was easy to get the meeting set up after he got to know your name, the person who he proposed to marry, the name he knew was the person he met on the date. And not you. It was just fake you.

You head out after breakfast in search for houses to rent, because if this thing blows up after your meeting with him. Being in the same place as your father would just make it harder for you to stay away from the grasp of his fingers.

Speaking of wasting time, Lee Chan watched Seungcheol cook in his kitchen, the surroundings a mess like always. He knew the older one was a good cook, he was the President of a food company after all, but he did make an insane mess when he did cook.

"You're gonna stay here for the weekend?" Chan asks in an attempt to make a conversation. Seungcheol just barged into his home this morning with a bag of groceries and utter silence, driving Chan mad.

Don't get him wrong, The older was always welcome at Chan's home to the point it feels like his second house, but just crashing his place with no notice, call or text was just not it. He tried so many times to get the guy to talk but to he had yet to get an answer to his million questions he asked solely to make a conversation.

"Well, I'm going out to buy some soju." He hears a little hum as a response and walks out of the house unable to spend the time in the madness that was created by the Choi.

He walks into the store, a little sanctuary of his whenever things seemed heavy or overwhelming Chan comes here. The worker knew him, and always had a stash of his favorite drinks set up because of him being their regular customer. He always had them together, the orange and grape which sounded diabolical to anyone that passed by but it was just his guilty pleasure.

"Who am I to not grant your wish?"

He chuckles remembering the woman who talked to herself at the drinks aisle as he puts in those drinks in his cart along with a soju bottles. Chan thought of her every time he came over to the store, a complete stranger who he fell in love with, at first sight. He doesn't think he'll ever forget the moment he saw her, it was all cinematic slow motion and with the best color grading that has stuck in his heart ever since.

This, was the kind of encounter that if occurred again by chance, would blossom into something more. But whenever he sees Seungcheol try to dismiss love as something that would be considered weakness and a waste of time, he wishes to just hold his collar and scream at him. As much as he understood the way he acted, he couldn't help but pity him.

He walks back home, with the covers in his hand wondering if his brother would ever find love the way he deserved. And if he was realistic about it, Chan knows Seungcheol is a bit impatient about it. And the fact that even after proposing marriage right after the first date, his date seemed to agree and meet to talk about it made Chan wonder how many people in the world were in positions of power with the world in their palm, but not having the privilege to choose a partner they loved.

You were a mess but had no intention to back down from whatever you were going to face as you walked into the restaurant you and Seungcheol had agreed to meet at. It was unnerving to think that you have to tell someone that you had lied to them, and you weren't sure how he was going to take it because you didn't know the person at all. And from the little information Jieun gave you, Seungcheol was calm but calculative and if you didn't play your cards right this would end up being a creating a havoc between the families.

Just what you needed to get going. You silently cursed her but she just shrugged at that moment because it was your battle to fight and she had no interest whatsoever to get involved again unless for any kind of emotional support.

You were in your head when you get into the elevator, failing to notice the gaze that follows your little moments as you click on the 17th floor. But it bothers you that someone is just outright staring at you in a public space, so you look up to talk to them that this wasn't—

Your eyes light up as you take in the man standing beside you, and everything just disappears, even the little anxiety you had. The man you fell in love with at first sight. He was wearing a crisp and neat navy suit, glasses perched on his nose and you wonder how lucky you were to run into the same stranger, again.

"How are you?" You blurt out, cursing yourself internally wondering if you were even close enough to ask a question like that.

"I am doing great," he answers with a soft smile lining his features and your heart beats faster. He could have just not replied or acted like you were a stranger, as you were, but he didn't and returned the gesture. You almost squeal, feeling like you were a high school girl who learned the word crush for the first time.

No, I can't get distracted.

You look up and see that the elevator's still on 3rd floor and if you weren't going to get yourself killed soon you would've asked him out already.

As each floor passes a few people get in and out, by 10th floor he was standing so close beside you amidst the little crowd and you feel yourself burning up.

"Are you okay?" He asks, holding out a handkerchief as he points at the sweat that dribbled down your forehead. Embarrassed you just take it the scent of citrus filling you as you dab on the sweat, murmuring a sweet thank you to him.

You aren't able to talk to him or even ask anything about him, most importantly his name when the 17th floor soon arrives, the ride being the longest as well as the shortest you've ever had.

Thankfully you both are the last ones to get down, so you try to make a conversation, at this point forgetting about the actual reason you are present here.

"How do I return this to you after a wash?" you ask gesturing to his handkerchief in your hand, your brain scrambles for words.

What is he doing to you?

He gives you his visiting card, his name written across it as if it were the answer to all the questions you've ever had. You give him yours, he reads out your name and a burst of butterflies in your stomach fly though.

"Lee Chan," you say reading his name out loud too. Your cheeks hurt with the way you never seem to stop smiling in front of him.

Your heart stops for a second as you scan through the rest of the card, as you see the words 'Secretary', ' of President' and 'Gofood' all at once and you feel like you were going to die.

You see his smile drop as he looks back, and look the man not too far away but just a bit far to be not involved in whatever his secretary up to and give some privacy.

Choi Seungcheol, The man who was called as 'The devil' because of his strict way of work, the man who was the person you were going to meet and the man who was hell bent on marrying 'you'.

And, Lee Chan, the man you fell in love with, was that devil's secretary?

And as if he was called, Seungcheol just turns towards you from the door, his hands crossed over his chest looking uninterested but as he catches the words that tumble out of Lee Chan's mouth as he reads your designation and your name Seungcheol's eyes darken and he stalks towards both of you, and you wonder how in the world are you going to get yourself out of this big mess as you look at both the men now in front of you.

You were thoroughly and royally fucked.

Listen, Lee Chan always thought he wasn't someone who would judge others. He never knew why people acted the way they did, so he should not have opinions when he was unaware of the reasons. He pitied them if anything. Never judge them.

But watching you shift in your seat for the 4th time now, while he stood behind Seungcheol, he judged you. He could not understand the reasons you — who had a distinct lavender scent wrapped around them, who had the smile that lit him up when he saw it — would commit fraud of all crimes.

He wouldn't have judged you nor have been this hurt if you committed murder even, but lying? That was where his boundaries were drawn tight. He hated people who lied.

"Well, who is the woman who called me cam—" Seungcheol clears his throat and continues "Who was the woman who came to the date instead of you?" He finishes his jaw clenched.

He knew what Seungcheol almost said, something Chan thought was the funniest thing he had heard in years. She — the actress you said you hired for the part — called him a camel and Cheol has never known peace since.

"I need to talk to her," Seungcheol demands, his tone strict. Chan feels his heart break piece by piece as he watches you tighten your fist, not to break or maybe you really had no other choice but to send an actress on the date.

But couldn't you have just not agreed to go?

There is a flash of an emotion in your eyes, focused on Cheol, but it soon morphs, mirroring the man in front of you.

"You would be not getting any information about her from me. As I told you, she was an actress hired for the part and she is a nobody." You sit back, more relaxed since before. But Chan sees it, your hands cross across your chest, a palm digging into your skin that makes him wince.

"So you do not know her?" Cheol asks and you respond with a nod, looking bored.

"Then how come you both have the same bag?"

"That's a Burberry, this is from Fendi. There's a difference."

Your eyes go wide as if you slowly realize what you've just done. That you just lied again to cover up another lie.

Lee Chan never felt more embarrassed but also more heartbroken than he ever did.

Jieun sits across from you, her wide smile making you regret doing this even more. She was happy, feeling free that whatever mess you both were in finally passed. She thinks that's why you brought her out shopping. You didn't have the heart to tell that it wasn't over yet.

Not when you were sitting in a cafe waiting for Seungcheol, something you didn't tell her.

"Is the coffee bad?" She asks interrupting your thoughts.

"No no, it's fine. I think it's my period." You lie your legs bouncing as you get nervous by second. You lied to Jieun, it wasn't anything new. But this one just had higher stakes and you were scared.

"But you finished it a week ago?" Of course she knew.

"Are you hiding something fro—"

"Seungcheoliscominghereimsosorry," you finally blurt out, the fear gnawing at you.

"What did you say?"

"Seungcheol is coming here to meet you."

"What? Why didn't you tell me beforehand?" You watch her stuff her things into her pouch ready leave at given moment.

"You wouldn't have come, but forget it and listen to me clearly. He figured out we were friends—" That stops her as she turns to you her eyes wide. "—and I told him he can't meet you but he insisted he'd find out by himself if I wouldn't and I got afraid he'd figure out your identity and fire you. So I had to do it." you continue rambling on and on, the speed of your speech faster than before.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" She curses at you, everyone in the cafe looks at you both whispering.

"Later, baby. Now take this wig and just apologize, that's all he wants." You push the cover containing her wig, and give an awkward smile.

And you make a run for it, the stairs of the cafe almost tripping you before you look at Jieun one last time who just flips you off before putting on her wig and taking a seat at the table. Just when you reach your car you watch Seungcheol go in, the near disaster of him finding you makes your heart race faster. You duck looking if he's gone from the side of a car when you hear someone calling you, loudly.

You feel him before you see him.

Strong arms hold your arms pulling you over with so much strength, making you turn away from the place you were standing to land right onto their chest.

It was Lee Chan.

If the strong musk scent wasn't making it clear, it was those big brown eyes that take you in that made it clear.

A car passes by behind you both, by the sound of it, it went through the same path you were standing a second ago. Before he pulled you over.

Worry etched in his face, he looks at you.

"Are you okay?" He checks you for injuries, it just makes you smile.

"I'm fine," you say your heart giddy, while your mind feels embarrassed.

"That's good. Please watch where you were going." You nod like a child as you listen to him telling you to be careful.

You feel your heart burst from the concern he showed towards you. You could see his eyes fill with concern. It almost hurt your heart that a simple almost accident hurt him, you were fine thanks to him, but he absolutely was not.

"Hey," You wave your hands doing a little twirl to show him you were good, and that he didn't have to worry about anything. "I'm fine, Mr. Lee." you tell him, holding his hands the little tremble you realize slowly subsiding.

You can't help but want to hug him to tell that you were okay, you did not want to know why his hands trembled the way they did. But you were here, and you weren't going to let him stay like that. You are going to try your best to make sure he feels good.

And as if your gaze put him in a trance he looks away shaking his head to get out of it.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, taking a step back to leave space between you both.

You shake your head at him. He had no reason to be sorry.

"I'm sorry about everything too," You tell him, trying to divert the topic from what just happened, scared that he might feel uncomfortable having a moment like that with you, you clearly succeed catching him off guard as he looks confused for a second.

"About the fake date, about everything."

"Oh."

What? Oh?

"I was not the one who suffered, you should be apologizing to Mr. Choi." And the mask is back on. So quickly, you wouldn't have even noticed it if you didn't know he had moments without his mask.

"Oh," now it was your turn to be shocked.

"I'm sorry about earlier, it was a mistake." He says, bowing.

Formal. Clean. Sharp.

"That's fine, you saved my life." You don't give him a chance to say anything, afraid of what you were going to do. So you walk away.

This time taking the footpath, not in the mood to get run off by a car.

Not when your heart was wrecked.

The little hope that maybe if you ever came across each other you could've at least been friends, smashed to the ground.

You were taking out the trash, helping Jieun's parents at the chicken shop when you find your best friend walking back home looking completely tired.

But the moment her eyes land on you, a small fire lights up in them and she makes a run towards you. You run away too.

"Stop!" She yells, her voice scaring you.

You don't stop though, running upstairs you go into her home and lock the door just before she gets her hands on the handle on the other side of the door.

"Open the fucking door," she pulls it.

"I'm sorry," you plead trying to close the door but she pulls it harder.

"I don't care." She pulls it all her strength into it and the door opens out wide giving her way in. She looks at you, a scary smile gracing her features as she slowly stalks towards you, her prey.

"I'm so sorry, Jieun." You crawl back on the floor, thankful that her parents were still at the restaurant downstairs.

"You asshole, you left me for the wolf?" She is on you now, holding your collar, face so close to yours. You just chuckle awkwardly laying your hands on top of her on your collar.

"Hey, at least it's over, right? You and I will never have to see him again." You try to look at the bright side. You were right, the only reason he wanted to meet was because he wanted an apology and you know Jieun must've given him one to not have any kind of trouble with him later on.

Her hands leave yours, she falls back down on the floor just looking at you, eyes empty, you notice.

"It's over, right?" You ask.

"Yes. Maybe? I think so. I really don't know."

"What do you mean!?"

"An apology wasn't enough for that bastard, so I told him I would do anything in my power to help him out if ever needed."

"That's fine, just block his number." Yeah, it was easy. You don't understand why your best friend was stressing over nothing.

"He found out that my parents run a chicken shop. With address." She sighs defeated. You feel your soul leave out of your body. The stress its going to get to you one day, soon.

"Now, honey." You ask a fake smile on your face, holding her face in your palms, "how the fuck did he know that?"

"I had extra coupons in my bag."

You close your eyes.

It'll be fine. It's fine. Even if he had anything to ask her to do, it wouldn't be that bad of a favor. It'll absolutely be fine.

"I gave him a fake name," she says with a tired smile. "So if he ever needs me to do something, he would at least not know I'm one of his employees."

You finally take a breath. And hug her tight. Neither of you pull away for a while, definitely needing a hug and a few pats on your backs by each other.

You now pray that if Seungcheol ever pulls the favor card and puts it upon Jieun, it would go a little better than the how it went before. Jieun could handle it, she was the smartest one out of the two of you after all.

The morning sun falling into your room greets you, the birds chirping a sound you haven't heard in a while. You feel peace, a sensation of calm spreading through you.

It was going to be a good day.

After a month of headaches and chaos, the silence feels so much better and peaceful.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Chae!" You greet her as you get ready and head down for the breakfast.

"Here's your breakfast, don't forget to finish it!" She hands you the lunch bag. You had a few meetings to attend today so breakfast at home was completely out of question, you kiss her cheek for remembering your schedule and helping you out.

"Have a good day, you brat." She hits your arm playfully, getting back to watering the plants, a garden she mended to. Her sanctuary in this house.

You get into your car, humming to the songs on the radio as you drive to work.

Your day passes by quickly, meetings regarding a few product launches and advertisement strategies that were to be run by production and marketing—your department.

Yunjin was the only survivor, Tzuyu and Seungkwan just lay on their chairs heads resting against each others for support. Seokmin nowhere to be found when you get back to your team's office.

"Where did he go?" As if he was summoned, Seokmin blasts through the door, holding coffees for everyone, a tired but big smile on his face.

"You're a life saver," Tzuyu groans taking a sip of the coffee.

"You're the best, Sunbae!" Yunjin cheers making him laugh.

"I love you," Seungkwan adds while you take your coffee and just smile at him murmuring a thank you and not to interrupt the sweet moment between your team.

They all get their caffeine before getting back to work, the last revisions of reports to be done before they can leave for the day.

Everyone submits their designated work, leaving for the day as expected. They'd have asked for a team dinner if there wasn't a shooting scheduled for tomorrow.

"Are you not leaving?" You ask Yunjin, packing your own stuff to head out, the younger looks at you tired. You tell her to pack her things and leave for the day when she tells you that her car broke down and she would need a ride.

Her eyes blinking up at you as you both take the elevator. As if it was a cartoon, you almost see stars twinkling in her eyes. So you just nod, that it'd be the last time you were going to drop her and she yells in excitement so loud, you swear the other people must've thought you gave her a bonus or something.

Both of you walk out of the elevator, towards your car when a pitchy voice calls your name you sigh recognizing it.

You tell Yunjin to get seated in your car before you unlock it, she looks confused but goes without asking a question.

You sigh as you turn around facing your cousin.

Hong Eunji, your cousin, Director at Marine Group and the one and only person you absolutely loathed.

She was always flashy, showing off her brand new set of clothes that weren't available in the market yet, or any pieces celebrities wore. You weren't envious of her, you just hated her for gloating.

She would come in, barking orders at you and walk away. You never followed them, because she has no clue about work at all.

She was the director for namesake, a position completely given to her because of your aunt— your father's sister.

"How are you?" She struts towards you, and it takes an effort not to roll your eyes at her.

"I'm fine," Curt, short and simple.

She sways her hips, as she stops a few steps away, the several coats of perfume almost choke your senses.

You can't entertain her.

"Do you wanna see my new—"

"I need to leave, it's an emergency." You cut her off and move to your car before she can get another word out. Lost in what just happened you watch her before she is beckoned by someone and goes away.

"Is she your cousin, Mrs.Hong?" Yunjin asks you as you finally drive out of the lot, the evening air chill as it greets you.

"Unfortunately," Yunjin chuckles at that.

"Do not tell anyone about what happened just now." You order her, "especially Seungkwan."

Seungkwan hated your cousin too. You ignored her most of the time, growing up knowing her so it was easy. But Seungkwan? He didn't know her and loathed her.

Yunjin makes a gesture of sealing her lips and throwing away the key. You soon drop her, the younger just looks at you, handing you a candy.

"You looked stressed these days, it's not much but I hope it'll help you for even a little while."

Its a candy you've always loved. The soft marshmallow white candy with strawberry stuffed inside.

"Thank you," She smiles before getting down, your hands now filled with a bunch of those.

"Bye, Ms. Hong! I'll see you tomorrow!" Then she walks away.

You stuff those candies into your bag, the space overflowing with love it almost makes you cry.

Yunjin had this spider sense. She would know if someone was down or sick, and always had a stash of their favorite candy. This was a myth, something that you never really thought was real until it happened to you now.

You shake your head smiling as you drive back to your home.

Chan hated his life. It wasn't an exaggeration. No, he never did those dramatics.

Waiting for the helicopter after the tenth date of the day, he was more than exhausted. He wanted to strangle Seungcheol.

After the news of failed marriage proposal between Seungcheol and you, Chan knew it was a matter of time before the Chairman sent the older on the dates again.

He just didn't guess it would be this soon. And these many.

"Did you like her?" Chan asks, the act of treating Seungcheol as boss slowly slipping as he grows tired with each passing second.

Chan groans when Seungcheol shakes his head.

This game was going to go on for a few more days. Chan just had to brace himself for the unyielding storms that were the Choi's.

The moment they land, Seungcheol doesn't waste time before he marches back home his tie now off being crumbled into a ball in his hand.

Chan follows him, to know if Cheol somehow ends up convincing the old man to stop sending him on the dates. It would save Chan's life too.

"How was the date," Choi Yeongjun, Seungcheol's grandfather greets him as he bursts through the door. The old man doesn't even flinch.

"Isn't this just too much? 10 dates in one day?" Seungcheol argues throwing the tie in his hand on to the couch.

"Well, did they work?"

"No."

"Chan, set up more 10 dates for tomorrow." The Chairman calls over to Chan and he groans before nodding. Seungcheol's grandfather — who also considered Chan as his own grandson, scoffs at the dramatics of both the men as he continues watching a drama on TV.

"No!" Seungcheol yells, the voice ringing through Chan's years.

"That was the promise you made, young man." His grandfather argues not even glancing at Cheol.

"I have a girlfriend." Seungcheol blurts out, voice shaking not believing himself. But he sticks to it, standing straight looking over his grandfather.

"What? When did you have the time to meet women?"

"I was busy, but that doesn't mean I never met a woman."

Both of them now look Chan. Seungcheol's gaze pleading, while his grandfather looks for any confirmation not trusting Cheol's words.

"Is it true?"

"You have to thank Chan for this. He helped us get back together." Chan just nods, tired and exhausted he was ready for this to be over. He knew Seungcheol was telling a lie, but he did not want to face whatever the other man was brewing in that sinister mind of his.

Thankfully, their grandfather somehow believed it and now Chan is on the way back to his car to get away from both of Choi's as soon as possible to have a little of his sanity be kept.

"Are you not going to ask?" Seungcheol asks, he let go off of his jacket his sleeves rolled up veins flexing. Chan knew he did that intentionally.

Seungcheol did many things intentionally. He loved the attention, the idea that people can only see him and never be him. It made his mind so happy.

"You would tell it to me anyway," Chan mutters under his breathe, but puts up a fake smile as to really question him and he asks, "who is it?"

Seungcheol just laughs without any answer scaring Chan.

Your jaw was on the floor. Yet, you had no other choice other than to just pick it up and sign the contract.

You really do not know if the universe was fucking with you or maybe messing with Seungcheol had really bad consequences because of his overworking guardian demon. He definitely doesn't have an angel, that was for sure.

You and Jieun had one day of peace, before chaos wrecked your plans.

Seungcheol was now hell bent on making her his fake girlfriend while your father wants you back in the dating game.

Game because it was a gamble.

You refused, obviously.

He told you to get out if you were going to act up this way, as he would.

Taking the chance as an advantage you immediately packed up your bags, your father being so petty because he even took away his credit card you used, and now you were signing the contract for the flat—one you searched for since before because you saw this coming.

You are someone who would do something if you just put your mind to it.

"I'm so smart," you pat yourself as you drive to work, the suitcases stuffed in your car trunk which would find their home for a short while at Jieun's house.

Who for the fact, was not okay. But she did not have any other choice, and this will soon be over before he would even know her real identity, she said.

You were at last happy that she could handle it on her own well. The more you tried to help, the more she would shut you off when it matters.

You were at work, half of the shoot taken care by Seungkwan who covered for you after making a deal that you'd be paying for the team dinner tonight. The rest of the day passes by quickly, winding your team at the same place you always end up at.

First round, Samgyeopsal and Soju.

Second round, Soju and Karaoke.

Seungkwan and Seokmin tired as they laid down catching up on snacks to get energy while Yunjin had her own show going on, Tzuyu stuck on her phone for a while before joining the younger woman on her show.

Soon everyone leaves for the day, you make sure that they find proper transport as you move on to a convenience store to buy some snacks for Jieun.

It wasn't necessary, her parents considered you as their daughter. But you always kept it in mind to buy them snacks, something they always loved instead of fruits. They always had stacks of it at their home anyway.

The familiar bell ringing echoes in your ears, as you greet the cashier and get towards the snack aisle and just throw in everything you remember they liked.

It was fast and easy. You pay, holding the covers as you walk out, the evening chill air caressing your face instead of hitting you.

It must've wanted to go easy on you today.

Because standing in front of the same convenience store that helped you found a person, who you thought was the one for you. You can't help but feel a little sad at the thought that it might never work between you two.

It was joyous while it lasted. The little crush you had on a person who was once a stranger, but saw you at a moment in your life when you didn't want someone you liked to see you like that.

Maybe it was time to move on.

You certainly weren't going to cross paths again anyway.

Lee Chan watches you walk away. He saw you buying stuff, didn't want to interrupt you.

He still remembered that day, he wanted to talk to you, maybe greet or make a small conversation.

He never understood why. He always was pulled towards you, he realizes.

Just like that day at the store, just like that time in the elevator. He somehow knew it was you before you even saw him.

He tried to call you that day, yelled your name loudly as he watched you walk the road unaware in front of the cafe. The day he dropped Seungcheol to meet your friend.

He felt his feet move before he knew what he was doing, and then you were in his arms safe.

That split second reminded him when—he didn't want to remember it now.

He made sure you were safe, checked for any injuries, his mind racing as he questioned whether you were real, and not quite believing it.

Then you spoke. And as if you've read his mind, you were trying to tell him. That you were okay, that you were here.

He smiled at you, the little twirl you did breaking away the worry.

But he couldn't tell you that. He couldn't even talk to you. So he just pushed you away, your eyes which lit up mere seconds before contorted into an unknown fury.

He saw that and just didn't even try to do anything.

How could he? Being near you made his heart stop beating. But his mind doesn't forget to remind him that you were someone who lied to his brother.

Lost between love he had from Seungcheol and love he might find with you — if he had tried, Chan stands there wondering if he'd ever feel attracted to someone the way you had him wrapped around your finger. The way your lavender scent still makes him look around twice hoping to see you.

Maybe that would be it. Looking at you from afar. That must be how his first love would end.

Taglist : @churrochanie, @coupsalchemy, @chogiwaw

I hope you liked this part!! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated so i can know your thoughts!! Thank you for reading this. I'll see you again in the next part!!

[chogiwaw]

jay finally dropped it!!

[cxffecoupx]

caramel pudding | teaser

jeon wonwoo × f!reader grey's anatomy!au medical drama, romance, angst warnings: drinking; (for the full fic) hospital settings, sickness, mentions of surgery or other treatments, death of the main or side characters. teaser wc: 477 author’s notes: here's the teaser for my fic for the blockbuster collab!! so excited for the full story; i'm still working on it, but it's been such a roller coaster ride to go back to season 4 & 5 (while i'm still grieving lexie and mark), but hopefully you'll love the full fic!

You stand in front of the door, hand still in air, wondering if coming here and knocking on the door was even worth it. A few moments later, Lexie opens the door.

"Alex? What are you doing here?"

"Lex, can I… can i stay over tonight? I need to talk to you."

It takes only a split second for her eyes to turn soft, and Lexie grabs the bag from your hand and steps aside to let you in. You follow her to the attic and stand at the threshold as she throws your stuff onto the bed before walking back down, pulling you along with her.

ten minutes later, you're sitting in Joe's bar, head resting on the counter, your second glass of beer sitting idly on the counter, drops of dew running along the glass.

"so… are you gonna tell me something, or are we just friends who drink together when we get sad now?"

you lift your head only to glare at her, placing it on the counter again as you mumble, "he said he likes me, lex."

"what now?"

"it's just so stupid. he's just a patient- wonwoo's just another patient that i meet everyday now because i'm on the case, but he looks so stupid when he's smiling when i go to check his vitals, and he's pushing his glasses up when i'm ranting about other patients and always soft nodding when i'm mumbling surgical stuff and the way he brightens up when i walk in with the caramel puddings for us and always manages to grab my pudding cup to remove the lid and hand it back and ugh!" you let out a frustrated sigh and take a swig from the glass.

"but you know what's even more stupid?" you continue, "that i find all this charming."

"oh my god. oh my god, you're falling for him!" lexie shouts as she lets out a chuckle at the revelation.

"shhh. not so loud?!" you cover her mouth with your hands, looking around to see if anyone's heard.

"i cant believe this it's so amazing oh my god!!"

"honestly, why is this such a big deal?" you're just speechless now.

"because," she pauses for dramatic effect, "you are Alex Shepherd. you scored the best grades in your class because you said you refused to focus on any other thing. because you scoffed at the Izzie-Denny story when the rest of us were wiping our tears. because you basically said Izzie was stupid to fall in love with her dying patient and declared you would not be doing anything ridiculous like that. look where we've reached now."

"oh god. I've reached rock bottom, haven't I?"

"nah. honestly, I'd love to see you fall even deeper than that," Lexie laughs when you glare at her once again.

taking the moment here to thank @belovedgyu @jakedustry @nerdycheol for this collab and the opportunity, and all my lovely fellow writers @mellowgyu @cherrymayz @luvrung @hopecutie @gentleisa @caratchronicles @chogiwaw @paradiseonthemoon @choco-scoups @pomegranate-teardrop @cxffecoupx @onionhassayyo for all the support and hype from the beginning. can't wait to read all of your works!!

[gentleisa]

read me and weep - x.mh

pairing: xu minghao x f!reader rating: R | minors do not interact! 18+ ONLY warnings: best friends/coworkers to lovers, whole lot of yearning, angst, minghao is a stupid man, yn has moments of insecurity regarding her being plus size, SMUT: fingering, oral (f and m receiving), p in v protected sex, missionary, ankle kissing, thigh biting, slight hair pulling. doyoung makes a return appearance as a bartender, small bit of donghyuck x reader. wc: 15.2k synopsis: loosely based in part on a storyline that happens to Penelope Garcia in season 3 of Criminal Minds: Technical Analyst LN YN and FBI Agent Xu Minghao are known in the BAU as a dynamic duo. A duo full of reportable comments, inappropriate nicknames and so much warmth. Anyone with eyes can see that YN is in love with Minghao and it's likely that he's in love with her too. What happens when tensions finally bubble over? When someone else is introduced to the story?

*this fic is a part of the blockbusters collab hosted by @nerdycheol, @belovedgyu and @jakedustry | support the other authors of the collab here

listen while reading

It's another day in Virginia. The winter this year is biting and you're too happy to scurry inside the BAU office to keep yourself from freezing. Chan, the security guard who always had a smile on his face, wishes you a good morning as you flash your badge at him. As you're waiting for the elevator up to your office, you reminisce about your beginnings at the BAU. Once the hunted, you had been working as a hacker under an alias that eluded this very department years ago. You were untouchable, called the best for a reason. It wasn't until you had a falling out with a network partner that you were in the claws of the department you'd been playing tag with. You remember it clear as day; the flashing red and blues lighting up the walls of your apartment, the cold chill of the interrogation room, and him.

[flashback]

The only sound that could be heard in your apartment was the furious typing coming from your keyboard. The code you had meticulously been working on for the last month all of a sudden wasn't running properly.

"C'mon you rat bastard, where are you hiding," you mutter out. You chewed on your bottom lip, dedicated to find the one piece of syntax ruining what was bound to be a big payout for you.

A month ago, you'd been tagged to do another hit on some confidential FBI files. The network you worked for was made aware by an informant that there were case files being built against the network. Being the resident hacker within the network meant that this task was immediately handed to you. This wasn't your first go at hacking the Federal Bureau of Investigations and you certainly didn't think it was going to be your last. You loved playing tag with the CyberSec department in the Quantico office. Imagining the look of shock when the analysts in their cushy lil offices realize that files were corrupted or missing. For a bunch of highly paid, well-resourced government officials, jobs that involved the FBI felt like taking candy from a baby.

Your search continued, scouring through what felt like endless lines of code, until your phone rang. Taking a look at the Caller ID, a chill ran through your body.

It's an unlisted number. To the ordinary person, it would look like an unknown caller. But not to you. No, you knew this number by heart. You gingerly pressed the answer button.

"YN, a pleasure."

You found it weird that he was using your actual name given everyone in the network typically used an alias. You figured he was in a secure enough location, so you didn't pursue this line of thought any further.

"Jackson. What can I do for you? I'm working right now." Every ounce of you fought to keep your words unwavered. A small chuckle came from the other end of the line.

"Just wanted to check in. Make sure you're holding up your end of the bargain." This caught you off guard.

Jackson was a higher up in your network, always the one doling out your assignments, but never one to double check your work. You'd proven yourself to be irreplaceable in the last three years of working for the Caissa. Why was he asking about this now?

"In the three years I've been doing your work, when have you ever known me to not hold up my end of the deal?" You questioned, a slight edge in your voice.

Even with your "boss" on the line, there was a deadline to meet and your code was still not running properly. Your hand moved to press a button on your phone and you placed Jackson on speakerphone. As the search for the bug resumed, you explained to Jackson that what he wanted should be finished within the next two hours.

"Remind me again, what is it I'm paying you for?" In hindsight, this question should have been ringing the loudest bells in your head. Jackson had the tendency to be aloof and a bit forgetful given he worked with multiple people, but not ever to this degree. But the damn bug making your code not work took up all of your attention.

"What are you talking about Jackson, did you seriously forget that you tasked me to wipe the case files being built against the Caissa? What, did you forget to take your pills today old man?" Another laugh came. It's uneasy but of course you were too wrapped up in fixing the code to notice the difference.

"Jeez Rook, I'm just testing you."

"I think I've outgrown that nickname, don't you Jackson? Was this really all you called me for?" You were getting annoyed now. There was a crunch for this code to be finished and here was your boss actively wasting your time. Again in hindsight this should have tipped you off. There's a bit of noise from the other end of the line before Jackson responds.

"YN?"

"What is it, Jackson?"

"The Grandmaster sends his regards." The mention of the kingpin of your network made your back straighten. Before you could ask what the hell Jackson meant, the line died. Your monitor went next. There wasn't enough time for you to make sense of anything before you heard the sirens surrounding your apartment and your front door being busted open. Everything after this point happened in slow motion, you moved like molasses. Only a few things in your vision were in focus: the reds and blues of cop car lights shining on the poster covered walls of your apartment, the condensation ring from the iced coffee you'd been nursing, a trinket of your favorite animal shattered from the impact of your front door.

You didn't resist any of the officers taking you into their custody. Your mind was otherwise preoccupied. The second your door was cracked down, the puzzle pieces connected: Jackson and the network had cut you loose and turned you in. Racking your brain for any possible reason why, you come up with the conclusion that the feds were getting too close and they cut the newest recruit on the team.

Last one in, first one out.

The interrogation room was bone-chilling and reeked of the worst kind of drip coffee. Agent after agent came in, but your mind couldn't focus. Every time they talked to you it sounded like Charlie Brown's parents were speaking to you. Your entire world had come crashing down. The network that had protected you for so long, had all of a sudden delivered you right to the FBI's front door, the team that had spent the better part of a year trying to track you down.

The door to the interrogation room opened again and you were about to tell the next agent that they were going to waste their time because you weren't going to spill a word. But when you lifted your head, you see him and the air shifts. You feel the static neurons become charged with something you can't quite place.

[end of flashback]

Speak of the devil.

The ding of the elevator doors snaps you out of your recollection and there stands Xu Minghao. The guy, who for a lack of a better explanation, is your knight in shining armor. Minghao was the one that broke through your walls that day in the interrogation room. The one that turned you from hunted to hunter. Every other agent they'd sent in to question you weren't able to hammer away at the walls you'd built, but he did. He walked in, the definition of nonchalance and arrogance. Taking your walls apart brick by brick like it was nothing with cologne that enveloped the whole room and would linger. The same one currently wafting in your nose as he's waving you into the elevator.

"Good morning babygirl," he says, pearly-white teeth shining right into your heart. It has been five years since the day Minghao cut you a deal and your partnership with him and the FBI had started. Five years since he gave you a chance to turn your life around and not rot in prison. Five years since he started calling you that nickname. The nickname that never failed to dust a deep shade of pink across your cheeks.

"Morning, White Rabbit," you chirp out, adding the delicious milk candy to the list of nicknames you have for the profiler. This was your banter, everyone in the office knew it. Everyone in the office was also sick of it. A prime example comes in the form of Dr. Jeon Wonwoo, resident know-it-all. He constantly commented on your relationship; labeling it grossly inappropriate for the office and requesting that it be taken outside of work. Both of your responses to him matching as you stick your tongue out, blowing raspberries at him.

"What's on your mind pretty?" Minghao questions. You wave him off, telling him that you'd been thinking about the day that you first met.

"Was it love at first sight?" He teases. You give him a slight push and tell him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. The ride up to the office is silent, but it's comfortable. The kind of comfortable you can only get when you've built a relationship with someone. The elevator doors whoosh open signaling that your moment of peace is over and it was time to get to work. You start the short trek to your "cave of darkness", as the rest of the team calls it, but Minghao catches your wrist before you even make it another step.

"Here," he places a coffee cup in your hand, "Honey vanilla latte for the sweetest honey in my life."

There it is again. The blood rushes to your cheeks, covering it with a rosy haze. Minghao is still holding onto your wrist and you're painfully aware of everything happening right now. But you let yourself get lost in the feeling for a bit. Fantasizing that this is more than the usual nice banter between the two of you. That he got you a latte because he was thinking about you at the cafe you both frequent. That he knows your order because he learned it the first time the both of you had been to said cafe and not because you'd made him order it for you a billion times.

Wonwoo, who had been behind the both of you in the elevator, clears his throat to get through and the facade breaks. Minghao gives you a wink, then moves back to let him step between the two of you. Raising the warm coffee cup towards him, you bid Wonwoo goodbye and the two of you make your way down to your office. As you come down the hallway one of the other analysts, Maeve, falls in step with you. Her strong gourmand scent hits you before her greeting does. The three of you talk about recent case loads and what you had been up to the past weekend. She casually jokes that the intense amount of snow should be keeping the streets crime free, but the files coming across the desks say otherwise. Synced laughs of agreement come from you and him. Minghao replies that there isn't enough coffee in the world. Without any real thought, you say,

"Thank God for Minghao. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't get me this coffee." She coos at you, agreeing that it was really nice of him do so, but then she makes a comment that stutters your thoughts.

"God I wish I had a boyfriend that worked with me so I could get personally delivered coffee. You two are so cute together."

"Oh, no-" You begin to stop her.

"It's not like that." You pretend the emphasis Minghao places on the last word doesn't sting.

"We're not-"

The two of you stumble over each other to tell your coworker that you aren't dating. When she hears this, there's a look of surprise on her face, but she doesn't say anything else. She's too busy watching the two of you staring at each other, trying to find the hidden conversation in raised brows. You'd never been more thankful in your life to be right in front of your office door. Minghao quietly excuses himself and walks towards the bullpen. While your coworker chats you up, you're still staring at the back of Minghao, noticing how he rubbed the back of his neck as he walked away from the two of you.

"Helloooo? Earth to YN!" Your focus shifts to her hand waving in front of your face. Apologizing to her, you ask her to repeat herself. She talks about needing help on figuring out how to run a code to aggregate the encrypted files your team has been getting with the caseload. You relax, this is an easy task, you could write code in your sleep, this was something that won't distract you. Asking her for more metrics, your eyes light up at the chance to talk about coding — the only thing that has kept you alive all these years. As you're going over proper formatting syntax, she makes a silly joke that for some reason really just hit you, so you find yourself doubled over in laughter.

What you don't notice is that your coworker makes sudden eye contact with Minghao, who perks up and whips his head towards your direction at the sound of your laughter. You couldn't see it, but his gaze brims with adoration. The mere sound of your laugh, infectious, getting the corners of his lips to tug up. Maeve gives Minghao a questioning smirk, he then stutters and forces himself back into the conversation with Wonwoo. She continues your conversation by asking how to run newly written code without ruining encrypted files.

You lift yourself back up and continue your explanation of performing test runs on old files to Maeve. As you do so, you feel the air change and something in you tells your brain to look beyond Maeve. Cocking your head to the side, you see that Minghao has Wonwoo in a headlock. You try to hide your smile, but fail as Maeve traces your sight line. She shakes her head and jokes that it's really hard to believe that the two of you aren't together, with the way you steal glances like lovesick puppies. Suddenly, Minghao looks up and you immediately move your head back to its original position, not wanting him to catch you staring. Maeve watches this exchange with the biggest smirk on her face. Thanking you for the advice on writing code, she walks away to her office muttering something that you couldn't make out.

As you settle into your office, a sigh pushes through your entire body. Minghao's comment and gesture sticks with you for the rest of the day, the drink actually making it all the way home with you. Spending what others would diagnose as an "unhealthy" amount of time staring at the coffee cup, trying to will the fantasy in your head to life. So many things are swimming around in your mind right now. As you get lost in writing code, Minghao's question of love at first sight is ringing in your ears. You were telling the truth, you found him incredibly annoying at first. Your first month he did nothing but gloat that he was the one to bring you in; that if it wasn't for him there wouldn't be progress on the Caissa file. But something changed in the years of you working together and you're left remembering when exactly it was that he completely broke your heart open for him.

[flashback]

It's your first winter in Virginia. Adjusting to the non-criminal life has been easier than you expected. Who knew you could breathe easier when not working for the digital underworld and not having to look over your shoulder all the time. Regular civilian life wasn't something you steadily had access to in your formative years and you're finding yourself mourning that younger version of you.

Idyllic. Not hard. A version of you that didn't have to put up walls yet.

A particularly nasty case made its way to the top of your team's list, leaving you all to work past normal hours. You'd moved out of your office into the bullpen to make sharing information easier. The office is fairly silent, the only symphony playing is the shuffle of papers and the scuffle of your team walking around. You'd been knee deep in assembling a list of victim profiles to help look for the unsub's MO. You fired off a couple lines of code that you think will help you narrow something down, only to be hit with a big red flashing "ERROR". You slam your laptop down and exhale in frustration, the sound of it drawing everyone's eyes on you. You feel his eyes before you could see them. Flashing everyone a quick smile of apology, you excuse yourself to take a lap around and get a breather.

You stop by your office to grab your water bottle and on your way out you see Minghao. He smirks when he makes eye contact and you immediately brace yourself for whatever smart ass comment he had waiting for you.

"Taking a break already? Wouldn't have pegged you as the quitting type," he jokes. You mockingly laugh back and roll your eyes. The two of you were a duo that no one ever expected. You'd find this out much later, but there were bets going around the office for how long Minghao would last before you ripped his head off. You and Minghao got the last laugh as the two of you gelled together after you dished his smugness back to him. Fairly soon after, you became the insufferable duo that everyone was familiar with.

The two of you finish a lap around the office in complete sync, quietly returning to the makeshift workstation that was set up in the bullpen. You stretch your neck out before sitting back down to read over the case files in the hopes that you could pinpoint parameters that would get your team closer to solving this case. Line after line swims through your brain and nothing seems to stick. It's like suddenly all the ridges in your brain have disappeared and the receptors have melted.

Behind you, you hear someone yell that they're going on a coffee run, then you feel a tap on your elbow. Turning your head, you see Minghao with a questioning look in his eye. Without a word, you knew exactly what he was asking.

Want a coffee?

You immediately shake your head no, not wanting to deal with the effects of caffeine later. He gives you a curt nod and calls out to the person leaving the office to wait for him. He brushes behind you and you catch a whiff of him — sandalwood and something smoky — he smells like comfort. The scent of him lingers around you like an unspoken message from him:

Be back soon.

For the hundredth time, you turn your eyes back to the files hoping that this time you wouldn't come up empty. Taking a breath, you repeat a silent prayer in your head, one that wishes you are able to find anything that could help. Three folders of files later, you feel Minghao sliding into the seat next to you. You don't have to look up from the mountain of paper to know it's him. You just do.

As you're flipping over to the next page, you sense something warm near your left hand. You move your hand to find the source of heat and see that Minghao has placed a cup next to you. The logo of the coffee shop from down the street adorns the cupsleeve. Acknowledging him with a nod, you wrap both your hands around the cup and bring it in front of you.

I didn't ask for this. You say with a raise of your brow.

I know. He shrugs in response.

Drawing the cup to your mouth, the sweet scent of honey and vanilla fills the space around you as you blow on it. You were expecting the strong bitter aroma of coffee to invade your nose so when you smell the indicators of your regular order, your head whips back to him. You're staring at him with delighted surprise in your eyes. He squeezes your shoulder and shoots the warmest smile when he meets your gaze. You thank him by taking a drink, contently sighing at the sweet taste on your tongue.

When you open your eyes, you find a different pair of eyes staring at you.

"Can I help you, Dr. Jeon?"

"Just observing," he says, his eyes flitting between you and the man beside you.

"Find anything worth sharing?" You muse, tucking your chin on top of your hands.

While flipping through a case file, Wonwoo shakes his head no. You don't believe him for a second, which you make known by giving him a scrutinizing look. But you don't press him any further, opting to return to your work instead.

Minghao suddenly gets up and walks over to the board, presumably to pin something he found.

"He's never brought anyone coffee," Wonwoo says, breaking your concentration. You look at the doctorate in front of you with a deadpan look. One that prompts him to elaborate his point.

He leans forward and in a quiet tone explains that in the time that the two of them have worked together, he's never seen Minghao willingly get anyone coffee. Usually opting to joke that whoever asks has legs and can get the drink themselves. He also guessed by the look of your first sip that Minghao didn't just grab you any coffee, he purposefully got your specific coffee order.

There's a feeling in your stomach you can't place when you hear this. As Wonwoo drones on, you find your gaze naturally moving to where Minghao is. You can only see his back, but you can tell he's concentrating on something from the way his head is slightly tilted.

"And then there's the twin telepathy thing," Wonwoo quips. This breaks your stare.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh c'mon! The two of you just had a full blown conversation without uttering a single word."

You scoff and wave him off, telling him that it doesn't mean anything. Defending your friendship, you deflect and mock the young doctor. He returns your scoff with his own and leans back in his chair.

To anyone that asked, you would always deny it. You and Minghao, were friends, nothing else. But after Wonwoo's line of questioning, you wonder if he's maybe just named the intense feelings that you've been unable to.

Returning your gaze to Minghao, your head is swimming with the thoughts Wonwoo's seemingly planted. He turns to call out for Wonwoo to join him. Your eyes meet Minghao's and he gives you a smile that makes your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. It's a smile laced with a check in. Like somehow he knows you might not be all there.

And suddenly you realize it.

Fuck.

You like Xu Minghao.

[end of flashback]

A soft knock breaks your mindless (but correct) code writing and you smile as you see Minghao waving through the window. You push the memory from three years ago to the deep recesses of your mind. He pushes the door slightly open and pokes his head in, weary smile following. You know what this look means; it's wheels up for the team, time for them to fly somewhere to solve a case, time for him to leave.

"Hey, I'm heading out. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Safe flight, call me for any expert information pulling," you joke as he pulls off from your door.

"There isn't anyone else I would want to call babygirl," he calls out as he jogs to catch up with the rest of the team flying out. You smile watching him bounce away.

Unfortunately for you, that moment was the last time you would physically see Minghao for the next week. This was the norm for the two of you. You hardly ever joined in the field, and to be completely honest you preferred it that way. With your history, you decided (along with some urging from your boss) that it was probably better that you stayed behind for cases.

You do get to talk to him mid-week when an important piece of information comes across your desk.

"Tell me something I wanna hear," he exhales. You can hear the exhaustion and frustration in his voice.

"Anyone ever tell you, you have a great ass? Cause you do," you tease, trying to lighten the mood. Hearing him smile from the other side of the line makes you feel better.

"Tell me something I don't know pretty girl," he jokes back. You boo him, whining that he always spoils your fun.

"Don't make me spank you."

"Mmm, don't tempt me with a good time Agent," you say in a lower tone, feigning seduction. With a click of his tongue, he tells you to quit playing around. You sigh and acquiesce him, sharing that the unsub and his victims had a shared history. Grimacing as you shakily recount horrifying details, you wrap up your information dump with a sigh and a promise that this information would be sent over asap.

"Look up the words hot and magnificent in that magic box of yours and tell me what comes up," you hear the smirk and pride on Minghao's face loud and clear. Luck was on your side today as no one could see the rouge tint splayed across your face and on the tips of your ears.

"Would ya look at that? A picture of me popped up." You replied, emphasizing the p in the last word with a popping sound. Inside you are fighting every nerve in your body.

"You are the love of my life, gorgeous! Good job, see ya when we're back." The click of the line rescues you from having to repsond. Your hand is still wrapped around the receiver as you let out a breath. An involuntary groan comes from you. It's the kind of groan you let out when you know you're absolutely smitten and can't do jack all about it. The silence in your office cloaks you in your own feelings, the next words that come out of your mouth barely break the sound barrier.

"I wish you meant that, Hao."

It wasn't till Friday afternoon that the rest of the team was flying in after wrapping up another horrifying but solved case.

The clock ticks a quarter till five and you shoot a text to your cat-eyed partner in crime, asking him if he needed a round (or more) once he landed. An immediate ping returns with a resounding yes and that he'd head straight to Rummo's. Wrapping up a report, you lock up and head to the elevator to meet with Minghao. The ride down takes longer than you want it to, but the doors finally ding open and you're basically skipping out the exit.

"Have a good weekend YN," Chan smiles at you as he holds the door open for you.

"Thanks Channie! I'll see ya Monday!"

"Rummo's tonight? I didn't see the team come in this morning." You nod back.

"Is tonight the night?" He asks with expectant eyes. While everyone in the office basically knew about the budding relationship between you and Minghao, Chan was the only one who ever said anything to you about it. He was also the only one who knew about how much you truly longed for Minghao. It wasn't like you paraded around declaring your love for the profiler, but anyone who looked hard enough could see it. You cared about Minghao in the way that you didn't about anyone else. Sometimes more than yourself. You shoot Chan a look with a hopeful gleam and he responds back with a thumbs up. The week spent in the office alone (along with a phone call from your mother regarding your love life) had forced you to evaluate your relationship with Minghao. Years of noticing the small things that make him tick. Simply put, after years of yearning for the man who broke you down with a whiff of his cologne, you came to the conclusion that you couldn't bear to wait any longer. You needed him to know how you felt and more importantly how he made you feel.

You send a quick text to him that you'd be at your favorite bar in less than ten minutes. As you're walking past storefronts you check your reflection in the glass. No biggie, you're just confessing your feelings to the most important person in your life and your hair is a tangled mess and the mascara on your eyelashes smudged from the strain of staring at a computer all day. You do your best to smooth down the frizz of your hair and you pray to whatever god above that you can fix yourself up before Minghao spots you.

It's half past five by the time you get to Rummo's and it seems like every other office worker in the vicinity had the same idea because your favorite local bar is packed with people in suits. You thank your lucky stars and make a beeline for the bathroom to fix yourself up. You assess the damage as you take a look at the mirror and you wish you hadn't.

Your top fits a little funny because of how blessed you are in the chest department. Your trousers suddenly feel a bit tight and you tune into how the button seems to dig into your stomach. You try to move your clothes around a bit to make it look more flattering against your shape and notice that the seams of your pants have left imprints on your hips. The movement (and your awful anxiety) have made the tiny bathroom even tinier and you feel like the temperature inside has gotten warmer.

Taking a shallow breath you move on to take a look at your hair but before you can do anything about it, a knock on the door alerts you to someone who had been waiting on you. You push the door open to the bathroom and apologize to the person on the other side and look for Minghao. Your confidence is lower than when you walked in, but you were still determined to tell him how you felt tonight.

The smell of his cologne, hidden behind copious amounts of whiskey, hits you before you even lay your eyes on him. You square your shoulders back, plaster on a smile and clap him on the back when you approach. He turns to you, a tinge of pink dotted across his cheeks and eyes in the shape of crescent moons. A quick glance at the three empty glasses next to him tells you all you need to know — this case was horrific and he needed a break from reality. You don't think you'll get to tell him anything tonight.

"There's my babygirl," he swoons excitedly reaching out to you. Your heart leaps out of your chest and it aches. It kills you to not focus on the inflection behind the "my".

"Hey Hao— Whoa," you lean forward as he almost falls out of the bar stool. A giggle comes spilling out of him when he wraps his arms around you, pressing his face into your shoulder. You help him sit back upright and he scrambles to remove his jacket from the seat next to him, ushering you to sit next to him. Doyoung, the usual barback who tends to your crew, places a drink in front of you. Thanking him with a nod, you down the drink to match Hao's level of drunkenness. The night is filled with him drunkenly egging you on to drink more and you making sure that he's also drinking water so he doesn't absolutely perish the next day.

Suddenly Minghao, who had previously been slumped over the bar, sits straight up and grabs your face. He brings it close to his and you genuinely are unable to tell if you're currently hallucinating. He pores over your face with a scrutinizing look in his eyes. His gaze lands on your lips and stays for a while. Longer than what is appropriate between two best friends. Two coworkers. Your lips are inches away and the alcohol you've consumed silences the alarm bells going off in your head. You hadn't expected this at all, the second you had seen him downing drinks you quickly pivoted away from the original intention you had tonight. You let your eyes flutter shut and enjoy the warmth of his hands, you also pick up on the scent of whiskey and mint on his breath. There's a ringing in your ears and it isn't the alarm bells of your barely functioning brain. No, it's the ringing that happens when the one person who turns your world upside down is about to kiss you. But the moment never comes.

You open your eyes and find him studying your face. Irises wide (probably from the whiskey) and mapping spots on your face.

"Hao?" You ask as you place one of your hands on his, you're hyper aware of the small jolt of electricity that happens on your cheek when your hands touch.

"Mmm?" He hums, absolute glee hidden behind the smile on his face. You tap the hand on your left cheek, asking him if there was something he needed to tell you.

"You remind me of her." The shape of his eyes still crescent moons, his cheeks even pinker. From the alcohol or the confession you weren't able to tell.

"Hmm?" You say giggly.

"The girl I'm in love with— you remind me of her." He says like he isn't absolutely shattering your entire world right now.

"Oh." You could only respond in a monosyllabic manner, the entire situation quickly sobering you from your fantasy. You grab his hands and gingerly fold them into his lap.

He giggles to himself at your short response. Your mind is spinning and the three heavy-handed drinks Doyoung poured you certainly weren't helping. It isn't till Minghao waves his hand in your face that you realize he'd asked you a question. You apologize and he asks you again what you think. It felt like an impossible question to answer; your heart was absolutely shattered but as his best friend you needed to at least seem supportive.

"Whoever she is, she's a lucky girl," you respond, the fake smile on your face hurting your jaw.

"You think so?" He asks, blissfully drunk and unaware.

You nod, trying to will the tears in your eyes to not spill. Your barback slides the two of you tall glasses of water and your tab. The time had passed by and the time on the receipt told you that the bar was nearing closing time. Downing your water like a camel, you gear up to play another heartbreaking game of pretend. Quickly you get Minghao to drink his water, slide some cash to Doyoung, and move the drunk cat that is your coworker outside the bar to wait for a cab. Puffs of your breath can be seen against the night sky and the two of you stand close to each other to get some warmth. It doesn't prove to be very effective as shivers run through your body. Perceptive as he is, Minghao wordlessly shrugs his black coat off and threads your arms through the sleeves.

"Hao, what are you doing? Take your coat back. It's below freezing," you say through chattering teeth.

You roll your eyes and start to remove the very warm coat off you. The unmistakable shake of his earrings rings through the air as he hushes you and forces the coat around you again, this time closing the buttons to make sure you stay put. A frustrated sigh comes from you, made evident by the puff of steam flowing in front of you. You silently thank him with a swift nod of your head. Some minutes tick by and suddenly you feel a cold hand slip into the pocket and close over your balled up fist.

A hollow ache is forming in your chest. Your hand instinctively unfurls and the second it does, Minghao threads his fingers through yours. Wetness pools around the rim of your eyes when you feel the shape of figure eights rubbing against the back of your hand. Silently, you thank the cold weather as you sniffle the tears back. If he noticed what was wrong, you could immediately blame it on the chill. You stare up at the sky, hoping to find something that could distract you from your wailing thoughts. But you're met with nothing, not a single star in sight. Not a constellation in the sky to use as small talk. So you stand and let your heart ache, because this might be the last time you have a moment like this with him.

You're also trying to make sure Minghao doesn't crumple to the floor. He whines telling you that he's tired of standing and he clings onto you like a koala, telling you that you felt like a plush radiator. You blow off his comment and wave down the bright yellow cab who had just dropped off someone down the street. With as much strength you can muster you push Minghao into the cab and give directions to the driver to his place.

"Wait, you're not coming with me?" He pouts, hanging his head out the window.

You hated yourself for how much you wanted to still kiss him. Shaking your head no, you tell him you'll see him later. He pouts some more and even whines a little, making your heart swell and ache simultaneously. You tilt his head up a little and drill into him that he needs to drink water when he gets home. He gives you a little salute and slumps his back in his seat. The cab begins to drive away and you wave even though you know Minghao can't see you. Suddenly he sticks his head out the window again and yells at you.

"Don't tell the girl at work that I'm in love with her!" And just like that Xu Minghao shatters your heart for the second time.

Saturdays are reserved for shitty movies and wasting away at your place. In the last year, Minghao has been a welcome addition to your long standing tradition, but you wake up today (still slightly hungover) remembering every single thing that happened last night and can't bear the thought of seeing him. You send him a text that you aren't feeling well and need to just sleep the nausea and hangover away. It wasn't completely a lie, you genuinely did have a hangover and you felt sick to your stomach at his confession. The confession that broke your heart and had you questioning your own self worth. Who were you kidding, no guy like Minghao could have ever been into you. He could have his pick of girls, so of course he was pining for someone else. You mostly felt so dumb that you even held the fantasy for so long. Minghao doesn't reply back right away, you assume he's probably still asleep and decide that a small nap might help you feel better.

You wake up to the sound of knocking at your front door and grumble, throwing the blanket over your head, hoping that whoever is at your door will just go away. You're not expecting any guests so you definitely were not getting up for anyone right now. Unfortunately, your attempt to ignore them does not work as the knocking gets louder and more aggressive. Throwing your blanket around you, you groan and stomp to your front door. The knocking keeps going and you finally swing your door open, ready to yell at whoever is fucking disturbing your peace right now.

"Jesus Christ! What do you wa— Minghao? What the fuck?!"

"Me what the fuck? I think I should be saying that to you. It's Saturday, our day remember?" You wince at the decibel he's at. Shooting him a glare with the force of a thousand daggers, you whip out your phone and show him the text of you canceling.

He sticks his tongue out and pushes into your apartment, blabbering about how you couldn't let a couple drinks interrupt the tradition. A trail of his things follow behind him as he makes himself completely at home on your couch. He spots his coat from the night before and jokes that he wondered where it ended up. Your nose scrunches up in annoyance and you can't find it within yourself to pretend to be fine with him being here. One by one you pick up his things and launch them at him, each landing getting a complaint. You coldly tell him to take his things and leave.

"Haha very funny babygirl. C'mon," he pats the spot next to him, "It's movie time. I'm thinking comedy because you're being so gru-"

"Minghao. I'm not kidding. I don't feel good, I'm going back to bed, please take your shit and go home."

You don't even wait for a response, you quickly spin on your heel and head back to your room. You don't even have it in you to close the door on him, you just slip back into your bed. Burying yourself under the covers, the tears in your eyes are hot and you try to blink them back. It isn't until you hear the muffled click of your front door that you let the tears stream down your face, effectively dehydrating you even more.

This year's winter was giving unsubs harsh brutality a run for their money. In the five years since you've lived in Virginia, you'd never felt such an arctic winter. Roads constantly slick with ice, the chill in the air absolutely biting. The only thing rivaling the intensity of this winter was how hard your head had been thinking about your relationship with Minghao. After what you thought would have been the moment, you decided that you couldn't wait forever anymore. You couldn't waste time on the cat-eyed profiler anymore. Knowing he'd had ample time in the years of you working together to say something. The years filled of stolen glances during team debriefs, of flirty comments that would gave HR a heart attack, of him using a nickname reserved only for you. Even on that night, he had the entire night to say something, anything. Instead you were met with a confession that crushed any hope you had as well as your self esteem.

This was the third week of you silently mending the heart he'd unknowingly broken. You could absolutely feel the difference in the interactions, but the profiler for all his ability to read humans, was none the wiser. The list of your names for him continued, but never with the same vibrancy you'd always envelope them in. You were facing a silent fight, the only person who only noticed your off kilter demeanor, was Chan. The first week of your moping he initially let you be, only ever giving a skeptic raise of his brow when you'd brush off his comments regarding your well-being. By the second week, he knew you'd been lying and figuratively backed you into a corner.

You had been drowning in case files and your eyes were starting to dry out. You make your way out of your office and to the bathroom on your floor, but you sharply make a right towards the elevator when you see Minghao heading in the same direction. The door is about to close and you call out to the group to hold the doors open for you. In your absolute panic, you don't realize how loud your voice was. What you also miss when you push yourself into the elevator is Minghao frantically searching for you across the office when he heard you.

You make your way to the back of the elevator and pinch the bridge of your nose as you lean your head back against the wall. Your eyes are closed for the entire ride and it's only when the automated voice of the elevator bell announces the floor, that you realized you took the elevator all the way down to the main lobby. Remembering what your actual purpose of leaving the office was, you make a beeline for the bathroom. You weren't explicitly avoiding Chan, but you knew you couldn't hold out much longer until you cracked under his constant questions.

On your way out from the restroom, you hear a sharp whistle come from behind. Whipping your head around, you see Chan waving you over. Timidly you walk over. You know that he's going to ask what's up with you, so you mentally prepare your responses on your way to him. Sure enough his first question after greeting each other is why you aren't your normal bubbly self. You lie and say that you haven't been feeling well, which he immediately clocks, urging you to not lie to him.

"Come on sweetheart. I haven't seen the two of you walk in together in weeks, almost a month. And if I'm noticing it, it's only a matter of time before everyone else in the office notices it too."

You say nothing and just look at him with pleading eyes, trying to communicate that you don't really feel like talking about this. But of course he doesn't see it or he adamantly ignores it because he presses you even further. Arguing that he definitely knows something is wrong because he hasn't heard a complaint from Dr. Jeon about the out of line comments that are always coming from the two of you.

"Seriously seeing his face scrunch up at the two of you is the only real bit of entertainment I get around here. So spill it sweetheart, what the heck happened at Rummo's?"

You don't know if it's his persistence, the threat that your multi-doctorate coworker would eventually put the pieces together, or the idea that you were tired of holding everything in, but you give in and run down the details of that heartbreaking Friday night. You don't even notice that you're speaking in hushed tones until Chan leans in closer and asks you to repeat certain parts of the story. As you move along the details, you notice his shoulders visibly lower, like he's physically taking the weight of your pain. When you finish, you're full on silently crying and the first thing he does is fish a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket. The whimsical dinosaur print makes you giggle and he tells you that it belongs to his kid. You look at him incredulously, you were not prepared for this lore drop about your favored security guard.

"You have a kid?!"

"You're not the only one with secrets around here," he says with a wink.

You hit him in the arm and beg him to show you pictures. Further prodding him about the fact that he has a kid, leading into the fact that he has a whole family that you didn't know about. He pulls out his wallet and shows you several polaroids of the sweetest little girl. She is the spitting image of him, even in her young age she smiles just as big as her dad. While you're leafing through the pictures, Chan starts to talk about your situation. He comforts you, assuring that your reaction to the whole confession was normal. That the ache you feel is what everyone would feel and comes with the territory. He starts the next sentence, but pauses, chewing on his bottom lip.

"I can tell you're trying to fit a sentence together, what is it Chan?"

"I'm just not 100% convinced…" Your brows knit together in confusion. You stay quiet to signal him to continue his thought. He then asks if you're sure of what he said to you the night at the bar.

"I mean I don't think I'll ever forget him breaking my heart like that," you say solemnly.

"Look sweetheart, I'm not saying I know anything about how he really feels…"

"But?"

"But I've seen the way you two look at each other. More importantly I've seen the way he looks at you. The way he looks at you isn't the way you look at someone who's just a friend."

"How does he look at me then? If you don't think he looks at me like a friend, then how?" You arms are crossed as you scrutinize him with your eyes.

Chan sighs and takes the pile of polaroids from your hands. You whine in protest. He goes through them one by one, seemingly looking for something specific. He finally lands on the polaroid he's looking for and takes a big pause. You feel him take your hand and he places it face down on your palm. Flipping it over, your heart aches. It's a candid family picture; Chan's wife is cooing at their daughter, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and Chan is off to the side smiling wide. At first glance you'd think he's smiling at his daughter, but at a closer look you can see that the smile isn't for his kid, it's for his wife. He is looking at her with so much love, if he was a cartoon there would pink and red hearts in his eyes.

"That's how he looks at you. The way I look at my wife. You told me what he said that night, I don't know. I just don't believe it."

You let out a huff of disapproval and he throws his hands up in defense, offering that these were only his thoughts. Your shoulders slump back down and you squeeze the bridge of your nose. Chan offers a comforting rub of your shoulder and suggests that maybe it would be good for you to get out of the office for a bit, or at the very least finding a quiet place to let your thoughts run wild so you can come back and focus on your work.

Deciding that the thing you needed to help you clear your head was a warm cup of coffee, you brave the flurry of snow and take a quick walk to your usual cafe, a ten minute walk from the office. As you're wrapping a scarf around yourself, a gust of wind knocks the fabric out of your hand and straight into the face of a person who was heading into same cafe.

"I am so sorry!" You call out, rushing over to the being whose face was currently trapped in your bright yellow scarf.

A muffled laugh comes from behind your scarf, a leather gloved hand bunches it up to pull it away, and what's revealed is the face of an absolutely breathtaking man. His skin glowing like he'd been kissed by the sun, even in this dreary winter. You notice the moles that decorate his golden skin, like stars had placed themselves there. Eyes the color of coal but the coal that still feels warm even after the fire stopped burning. He flashes a smile at you, the kind that that radiates heat in your stomach, one that you're sure could melt all the snow fluttering around you.

"It's alright, honestly it's my fault I walked into your scarf," he chuckles, folding up your scarf, handing it back to you.

He then opens the door to the cafe, gesturing inside. You basically float inside, the flutters in your tummy carrying you in. You walk up to the counter and order your usual — honey vanilla latte. There's something about this drink that just feels like the warmest and most comforting hug. As you pull out your card to pay, you hear someone behind you request a red eye added to that order. The speed at which you whip your head is probably faster than lightning. Ready to lay into the person who thought they could sneak in on your coffee order, you take a breath, but nothing comes out when you realize it's the guy who got a face full of your scarf earlier.

"Oh, it's just you," you say meekly.

"Just me? Ouch, I haven't even given you my name yet," he teases. You feel warmth grace the tips of your ears and cheeks. Chuckling at you, he reaches into his pocket and hands the barista behind you a ten dollar bill. Your eyes go wide, indicating a protest at his action. He shrugs and walks to an empty table, he looks up at you then shifts his gaze to the seat in front of him. After an internal conflict, you figure that a conversation with the cute stranger who just paid for your coffee wouldn't hurt. Thanking him for the coffee, he shrugs and leans back in his seat. He replies that its not a big deal and the two of you begin to talk as you wait for your coffee to be ready.

You learn his name is Donghyuck but most of his friends call him Hyuck. He moved to Virginia from California a couple months ago after picking a random spot on the map. He's a piano teacher to the children in his neighborhood. You jokingly ask if he would extend lessons to adults and he jokes back that you would be the only person he'd consider doing it for. Before you can reply, the barista calls out that your drinks are ready. Beating him to the punch, you pick up both of your drinks and take it back to the table.

Sliding his drink toward him, you circle back to him teaching piano lessons. Your hands touch when he wraps his hand around the cup and it lingers for just a moment. At a simple glance, no one would have noticed it. You do and you fight the smile that begs to come out. Luckily for you, the warm cup of coffee in your hands was a great way to cover it up. You take a small sip and feel yourself melt into the drink.

"Is your drink as sweet as you are?" He says as you put the cup down. It takes everything in you to not choke on the hot liquid. Cheesy lines like this don't typically work on you, but there's something about Donghyuck that just feels true and intentional. After years of pining over someone else, why not allow yourself to be chosen first? Chosen boldly?

As you're about to return the flirty comment, your phone pings. Shooting him an apologetic look, you flip your phone open to see that you've gotten a text from an analyst on your team asking where you were. You looked at the time and realized that you'd been gone for three quarters of an hour.

"Shoot, I'm sorry I have to go back to work," you say, shoving your arms through your coat. Scooting out of your chair you stand up and hurriedly rush towards the door.

"Hold on," he calls out after you. Turning around you notice that he has your scarf in his hand. You reach out your hand to accept it, but instead of handing it to you, he unravels the golden fabric. He wraps the scarf around you and once it's fixed to his liking, he steps back with a smile.

"Perfect."

Your eyes fall to the floor and you feel the prick of heat warming the tips of your ears. He slips something into your hand and you barely catch what he says, too distracted by the gesture. You know it was a question so you nod your head and promptly head out the door. It's not until you're halfway back to the building that you realize he gave you a coffee sleeve with his number written on it. Shaking your head, you laugh to yourself and slide the sleeve into your purse.

You return to the office in an absolute daze. Your steps feel lighter and so does your chest. The ache of Minghao's wreckage still sings, but the volume is currently softened. There's a smile hiding in your cheeks, you zip past security so you can calm yourself down in your office.

"Good morning!" The profiler chirps, coffee in hand.

"Morning." You push past, head down trying to avoid eye contact.

"Hold it," he stops you before you can get too far, "Ease off the gas there Zug."

You freeze.

You hadn't heard that name in years. Five to be exact. And he was the last one to call you that.

The nickname was a reference to your alias when you worked with the Caissa network. The network itself was named after the Greek dryad of chess and every network player had some kind of chess term as an alias. Yours was "Zugzwang" — a term to describe when a player is put at a disadvantage by having to make a move. Appropriate because when you trapped someone into your game any move they made was a losing one. When you were at odds with the government, they fell for the trap every time. But now, because of Minghao, you'd been using your evil genius for good.

"Every day."

"Every day what?"

"Every day I say good morning . Every day you say, 'it is now that I've seen you' or another quirky comment that would make Dr. Jeon turn the color of your sparkle pen. Where have you been?"

Your eyes form into lines as you scrutinize him. Pretending to straightening the ID badge affixed to his shirt pocket, you kiss your teeth with a click. He continues on talking about how he's noticed that you've been passing off delivering case reports and sitting out of team meetings.

"You profilers and your behavioral analysis. You ever take a break?" Inside you're screaming. Now he has the sense to finally notice the difference?!

"If I took a break, who'd catch all the bad guys? 'Fess up pretty."

You roll your eyes and land a soft smack on his shoulder.

"Fine. I met a guy," you admit, a dreamy smile breaking out of the corners of your lips.

For a second there is a look of shock displayed on Minghao's face. He quickly fixes his face, but you definitely notice. You always noticed the small changes, even when you tried not to. You try not to think too much of it as he digs you for more details. You recap the interaction from this morning. Spilling small details about Donghyuck in a dreamy daze. Not forgetting to comment on how handsome and hot you think he is. Twice. There's a beat of silence, a look of pondering etched across his face, before he nods to himself.

"Alright, yeah that happens." He gives you a pat on the shoulder and starts to walk to his office, but you don't miss the purse of his lips.

"Not to me it doesn't." He stops and turns around.

"Come again?"

"Look Hao, let's not kid ourselves. I'm not the kind of girl who turns heads when she walks into a room—"

"Babygirl—"

"No. It's okay. I do well enough on my own. I'm a big girl, literally. I can pull, it just isn't always instantly, y'know? I gotta get them to look past the space I take up first." He hesitates to nod. Another small moment of quiet, the effort of piecing together his next sentence apparent in the crease of his brows. Before he can say anything you beat him to breaking the silence.

"I mean, what do you think Hao?"

"I'd say trust your gut princess. If the guy feels too good to be true, he probably is. Best to move on yeah?"

"Well—

Before you can answer, Hyeri the case liaison walks in, arms chock full of files.

"Team brief now. It's bad."

"Clearly."

The two of you follow her into the conference room, something indescribable weighs heavy on your shoulders.

The team debrief makes you feel nauseous. And it's not because of the bloody gruesome details of the latest unsub that Hyeri had briefed the team on. Minghao's words keep ringing in your ear. The rest of the team made their way out to the Florida site and here you were in your office replaying the peculiar conversation the two of you had. You're trying to make sense of his reactions but you're unable to get very far. To ease your mind, you turn to work and get to compiling and cross-referencing the victim list that the team had drawn up with the information the local police department had just sent over.

Knee deep in a list of mugshots, your office phone trills to break your concentration.

"You know who you've reached. Speak," your tone monotonous as you try to continue your focus on your job. Minghao is on the other end asking for an update. You frown at his voice, something that in the past rarely happened. But his comment, along with everything else that transpired between the two of you, were creeping under your skin. The reaction he had to Donghyuck was off and it was beginning to irritate you. Why did he care so much about you meeting a guy, much less a dreamy one like Hyuck? Shouldn't he be whisking away the girl he's supposedly in love with? As he continues to feed you more information, you cut him off telling him you've identified the victims and a locale parameter that the unsub is using as their hunting ground.

"Damn woman, you blow my mind." He whistles, the tone of his voice reading impressed at how fast you were able to narrow things down.

"Yeah, I'm efficient. Gotta go" You quip, not wanting to keep this conversation any longer than it needs to be.

"Whoa, whoa, that's the second time today. No fiery comment? No 'I'll show you what else I can blow'.

"Not today, Minghao." You sigh, rolling your eyes.

"Full government? What's going on?" He never called you by your full name either.

"I'm gonna tell the hot coffee shop guy no. I'm taking your advice, you were right he's probably too good to be true."

"Oh.. Um.. Well that was definitely a smart move." Adds insult to injury by saying there was probably, definitely something wrong with him. Fire starts to run through your veins.

"Huh. Guess that's why they pay you the big bucks." You snort under you breath.

"Come again?" The defensiveness in his voice ignites the fire inside you to roar.

"What was it Minghao? What tipped you off about him? I gave you an ounce of info about him and suddenly you can tell everything about him?!" You're sure that at the decibel you were screamng at, those standing out in the bullpen could hear you.

"Babygirl I-"

"No, humor me for a sec Mr. Profiler, was it how dashingly handsome he was or how interested he was in me that screamed wrong to you?"

"Wait—"

"Just because YOU wouldn't cross a crowded room to hit on me, doesn't mean that someone else— someone less frivolous and not so damn full of themselves wouldn't. You want fiery Xu? How's this: You're a fucking coward."

You slam the receiver down and the dam bursts. You call for one of the other analysts to take over your casework for the day and rush home. As you're heading out, your boss catches you and you quickly tell him to expect a call once you get home explaining why you're leaving midday in the middle of the week. The elevator ride feels like agonizing hours, your anxiety spreading itself like wildfire across your body. You thank every star above that Chan was on his break because you didn't want to face him, mostly because you didn't want to break down at the entrance of your building where you could be perceived. It's only while you're driving home, in the quiet of midday traffic, do you let yourself actually cry. The tears making stoplights and street signs blurs of reds and greens. The rest of the afternoon is spent rotting on your couch, sniffling over the man who caused your heart to splinter.

When you're sure you've cried all the water out of you, you get up to get some water. A chill has landed in your apartment and you resort to wrapping your softest blanket around you. Grabbing your blanket ends up knocking over your purse and its contents spill out onto your carpet. The whine that comes out of you mirrors a petulant child and you kneel down to gather the mess up. When you think that you've returned everything into your purse, you notice a crumpled cupsleeve from the cafe you frequent. You pick it up and head to the kitchen to throw it in the trash, but before you drop into the plastic, you notice the handwriting on the back of it. You get a closer look and see that the mess of scribble is actually Donghyuck's number.

You don't know if it's rage, revenge, or purely just needing a distraction but suddenly you're grabbing your phone and dialing the number. After three rings, the call connects and you hear his smile before his voice.

"Hello?"

"Hi Donghyuck?"

"Ah the girl whose drink matches her voice!" You smile at his words and even giggle a little. You share that work had you pre-occupied (not a lie, but not the truth). The laughter on the other end of the line gives you butterflies.

"Are you free this weekend?" you blurt out. Immediately realizing how sudden it might seem you stutter out, "To pay you b-back for coffee, of course!" Your voice squeaks at the end and you roll your eyes at how pathetic you probably look right now.

"Saturday for dinner work for you gorgeous?"

You bite your lip at the nickname, feeling like you were back in elementary school waiting for your crush to read your note. Telling him that Saturday was perfect, he affirms by telling you he'll pick you up around eight o'clock.

Saturday rolls around and you're getting ready for your date with Donghyuck, but there's a twinge of something wrong in the air. Something in your gut isn't settling well.

Everything reminded you of him.

The outfit you were wearing? The first time you'd worn the ensemble, Minghao had said that the color made your eyes shine like galaxies.

The bangle hanging off your right hand? A present from him after your first year at the BAU. "A celebration — to turning a new leaf", he said as he closed the clasp around your wrist. You unconsciously rub your fingers around the metal band surrounding your forearm. The indentation of your favorite flowers etched in intricate detail, providing a sense of familiarity and emptiness.

The color on your lips, painted the same color the night you two almost kissed. The color he said was downright sinful but made you look like you had been plucked straight from heaven.

The moisture in your eyes isn't apparent until you're staring back at your blurry reflection. The soft ambient lighting in your apartment becomes unclear in the mirror. A groan erupts from the back of your throat as you blink the tears back, not wanting to ruin the makeup you'd spent way too much time on.

You felt him everywhere and it was suffocating. It became loud and clear that your heart still beats for one person and one person only. Your heart takes over your body and you reach for your phone to cancel your plans with Donghyuck. Before you can even press the call icon, a knock on your door startles you.

He's here? Already? You could've sworn that you had agreed on 8 pm and your clock only read quarter past 7. A quick swipe of your phone confirms that there were no new messages from Hyuck. You shrug, assuming that maybe he had just decided to come early. You let out a huff, realizing that the hot guy from the cafe is probably standing outside of your apartment, minutes after you'd come to the earth shattering realization that you were still hung up on the profiler you'd been avoiding for weeks. This was going to be really awkward.

Men and their awful fucking timing.

You grab a sweater to shield yourself from the inevitable chill that opening your front door would allow in. But what awaits you on the other side of your cherry red door isn't something that your sweater could've prepared you for.

"Minghao?"

The tips of his ears and his entire nose as bright as your door. Puffs of his breath coming out in short bursts. His chest was heaving. Did he run over here?

"What are you doing here?" You're staring at him in bewilderment.

It had been a while since you had last been face to face. The last time you'd seen him was the day you told him about Donghyuck. The last time you'd actually spoken to him was during the Florida case. Where he'd unknowingly planted a hurtful comment inside of you. You'd ignored his invite to the bar the day that he returned. The tradition of movie night on Saturdays had been skipped the last couple of weekends, with whatever excuse you could come up with. It took a lot of convincing on your end, but your boss allowed you to sit out on team briefs just so you didn't have to be in the same room as Minghao. One of the things that stayed with you from your past life was the ability to determine who was walking by based only on their tread. This came in especially handy on the days that you couldn't work from home. That skill escaped you in this very moment.

Because here he is. Right outside your apartment.

You say nothing and cross your arms with an air of ignorance.

"You said I wouldn't cross a crowded room to hit on you and you're right." You roll your eyes and start to close the door but he stops it. He pushes the door back open and lets himself into your apartment. Your eyes are wide, staring at his audacity.

"I'd do more." Kicking off his boots, he stalks further into your apartment. The nerve he has to make himself familiar in your sanctuary. What infuriates you further is how devastatingly handsome he looks. Hair the color of onyx, perfectly windswept, the tips of them covered in half melted snowflakes. You can see under his black trench coat, a black ribbed tank, showing off his stupidly perfect collarbones and the small layer of sheen from what you assume is the result of him running to your place.

"What?" The look on your face is a combination of bewilderment and annoyance. Minghao across your living room, huffs out and crosses to you.

He cradles your face then presses his forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry I was a coward."

Seconds that feel like hours pass and he finally kisses you. And of course it's perfect, the kind of kiss that you dream of when kissing the person that holds your entire heart. The perfect clash of passion. The kind of kiss that leaves you wanting more. The kind that leaves the both of you panting as you pull away for air.

"God for a profiler, you were really unable to read me for the longest time."

"I don't use my skills for personal gain, babygirl."

"Maybe you should…" The lilt in your voice is teasing.

"You think so?" You flash him a grin, one that's inviting in nature.

"So… When you said you'd do more, what did that exactly entail?" You tease, fisting your hands in his tank as you pull him in for another kiss. His hands hadn't left your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks as he returns your advance.

There is fire behind both of your lips, you can feel the rawness as the two of you clumsily fight for dominance. Minghao fists a hand in your hair and gently tugs, exposing your neck to him. He trails kisses down to your collarbone, each touch igniting the flame inside your stomach. He's got you pushed up against the wall, placing marks across your chest. Desire is pooling at the apex of your thighs and like moth to a flame, Minghao senses it. His free hands makes its way down your body, down to where you wanted to feel him the most. Pushing up your dress, he dreamily sighs at the sight that beholds him: red mesh underwear that leaves little to the imagination. The minx that he is skirts around your pulsing clit, the tips of his fingers flirting around your bundle of nerves through the thin layer of fabric. You whine against his lips, hips involuntarily pushing into his hand. The sound of his smile against your lips is intoxicating and the smokiness of his rasp is sinful.

"C'mon babygirl, use your words and tell me what you want."

Your eyes roll back in pleasure as he weaponizes his nickname for you. You can't help but whimper when he slides your underwear to the side and makes brief contact with your clit, an unrecognizable pitch coming from you. His lips have returned to your neck and your hands find purchase in his locks.

"Fuck Minghao. Please" You beg. The lack of touch driving you to the brink of insanity. He moves his hands, but in the opposite direction of what you want. A pout forms on your lips and another whine spills past. He pulls you away from the wall and kisses you again, hands roaming, like he was mapping every part of you he wanted to devour. They stop at your ass where he grabs a handful, the groan that follows sending heat straight to your belly. In between lip locks, he lightly taps the backs of your thighs and in a low register laced with sin, commanded

"Jump."

Your body moved faster than your mind, wrapping your legs around his waist. The simple ask sent a jolt of electricity straight to your core. He carries you with ease to your bedroom, whose door he kicks open. You tell him this later but this very simple act of carrying you like you were weightless made you want to praise him like a god. Laying you at the edge of your bed, he stands back to drink the sight of you in. What he sees is feminine divine: your hair flowing like you were Aphrodite herself, remnants of your lipstick looking decadent on your lips, the way you're chewing on your bottom lip the very definition of sin. You prop yourself up on your elbows, completely in your head. You, the girl who was often passed over, almost always the second choice, felt the voices of doubt nipping at your skin. Even now as he towers over you, in your bedroom, you're avoiding his gaze and you can feel yourself shrinking.

"Hey, no. None of that pretty," he takes your chin in your hand and focuses your gaze on him. He kisses you, softly, lacing poetic of your beauty in between breaths. You mentally thank your past self for choosing a dress with buttons in the front as he begins to fumble with them. He doesn't get very far and out of frustration rips the front of your dress open, buttons flying in every direction. A sound of protest comes from you, but Minghao is immediately shutting you up by telling you he'll buy you another one. The other thing that shuts you up is his arms as he removes his trench coat. You'd always known his arms were thick, the lines of them defined in the button ups he'd wear to work, but seeing them bare confirmed your beliefs. The stretch of his biceps as he took his tank off making you dizzy.

There was no doubt about the hunger in his eyes as they raked down your body, the smirk forming when he realized that your bra matched your underwear. For a swift second, there's a tinge of darkness in them that chills your spine. The sound that comes from him can be described as nothing but feral when he leans over you and pushes your bra down. A mix of cold air and his warm wet mouth around your nipple makes you hiss. Your hands lock him to your chest and your hips are bucking up into him. His free hand reaches up and two fingers graze your lips and push into your open mouth. You feel Minghao smile against your chest when you swirl your tongue against his fingers. Pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he dances a line down to your core, sliding them through your wet folds. The sensation elicits a sound that vibrates through your chest and you buck your hips against his palm, signaling your desire. He picks up on your cue and slides two fingers into you, the sensation stinging in the best way possible.Bucking your hips up into the air with wanton need, you lay a message for him to find in your moans — keep going.

The telepathic connection you two have proves to still be fully functional as he continues his pace. Curling his long, slender fingers into a spot that makes you feel like he's bringing down the stars just for you. Warmth is spreading all over your body, the band in your core beginning to tighten up. Your breath is getting shallower, your moans are barely sounds.

"Let go for me babygirl, let me feel it." He urges and you can't do anything but oblige. The coil snaps and the pleasure is white-hot. You cry his name out as you squeeze around his fingers. The bliss you feel pushes you to drag his face up to you and capture his lips. You snake a free hand down to his pants and palm his length, a moan coming out when you feel how hard he is. Switching positions, you get yourself on top of him and grind on him to try and cure the ache in your core. He makes space between the two of you and undresses his lower half for you.

You're slightly ashamed for how you drool when his length flops up and smacks against his toned stomach, but that feeling quickly disappears. There's a split second where you pout when you take in how well endowed Minghao is. Mentally whining that he was blessed in every department, you wrap your hand around his length and you hear him grit his teeth. There's a glint in your eye as you shimmy down and take his leaking head in your mouth. It's almost automatic how his hand flies and threads into your scalp. A groan escapes him and that encourages you to take his length even deeper. This action gets him to throw his head back and in turn pulling your hair. The sting from that sends waves of heat to your core.

"Fuck pretty girl, I knew your mouth was filthy but holy fu-" He doesn't finish his sentence because you take him in fully and he hits the back of your throat. You look up at him and the way his face twists in pleasure has you sucking harder. This proves to be enjoyable for him because you feel him trying not to buck his hips up into your mouth.

"Fuck. Fuck baby, hold on. I don't-" You pull off him, a look of worry in your eyes, eyelashes wet from your actions. He instantly assures you that nothing is wrong, he just embarrassingly doesn't want to cum too early. His ears twinge pink and you giggle at him, coming back up and placing a kiss on his nose.

"You have no idea, how long…" he stops himself, but you give his hand a squeeze, telling him you understand. He kisses you lightly and before you two get lost in the heat, he pulls away then pats on your bed. Getting the hint, you climb onto your bed and wait for him. Turning over sits in front of you, drinking in the sight of you once again. There's lust in his eyes, yours too, but there's warmth behind the gaze.

Taking your left leg in his hand, he places a kiss on your ankle. The fire inside you burns brighter. Switching to your right leg, he does the same. There's hunger that radiates off him as he gets to your thigh and lands a big bite. He sucks at a spot close to where you ache for him the most. Pulling his hair in response, but he toys with you further and continues to bite and leave marks all over your thighs. He continues peppering kisses up along your body, maneuvering himself left and right, until he gets to your face where he places a soft kiss on your lips.

He reaches down to palm himself and the very real fact that the two of you are about to have sex, hits you.

"Wait, Hao," you say softly. He hums in response and you're trying to figure out how to ask for what you want without ruining the mood. In true fashion, Minghao senses your brain running wild and tilts your chin to look up at him.

"Where's your head at pretty?" He brushes your cheek with this thumb. Blushing is the name of the game and you have Olympic gold without even trying. Shyly you express that you haven't been with anyone in a while, which meant that you hadn't been on birth control. Your face is beet red as you're about to ask him for a condom, but he stops you in your tracks.

"Baby, you never have to feel weird about asking me to put on a condom," he murmurs as he presses a kiss to your forehead. He pulls back and looks straight into your eyes,

"Your comfort isn't optional. Ever."

He leans over to where he dropped his pants and fishes out a condom. He slips it on and returns to hover over you. Spreading your legs open with his knee, a sharp inhale comes from him when his eyes drop to your pussy, still glistening and pulsing from earlier. Reaching his hand down, he wraps his hand around himself and plays with your folds. Still sensitive from his fingers, you jump a bit at the contact. After a beat, he slides himself in with ease. Once he's bottomed out, you pull his face to yours to kiss him.

The two of you are a mix of groans as Minghao picks up the pace. One of his hands rolls a nipple in between his finger and thumb. The room feels hot, you feel sweat prickle at the base of your neck and the backs of your knees. Both of your hands are fisted into the sheets, toes curling at the height of pleasure he's bringing you to. You're begging him for more with your moans, you can feel your throat beginning to get sore.

When he suddenly slides out of you, you whimper at how empty you feel. The feeling only lasts for a second as he takes your left leg and throws it over his shoulder and sliding right back in. The new angle that he's fucking you with makes you dizzy with pleasure. Broken cries come out of your throat. His right hand grips your hip harshly as he pummels into you. Taking your left leg, he pulls it straight up by the calf and starts kissing your ankle again. The sensation sending fire straight to your core, prompting you to squeeze tightly around him. In reaction he lets out a low growl and nips at your ankle.

"Fuck Mingh-hao. Feels so good!" The room is filled with the noises of him slamming against your pussy and the chorus of your voices ringing out in pleasure. You know your neighbors are gonna hate you, but you quickly stop caring as Minghao continues rutting into you.

He moans against your calf in response, you feel the vibrations in your belly. The pace of his thrusts are starting to slow and you can feel that he's close. Arching your back off the bed, the angle is deeper and kisses the tip of your cervix. You know that you're gonna feel it tomorrow, but this was another thing that future you could worry about. This is Minghao's downfall as the new angle has you squeezing him tighter. Your second orgasm crashes over you and he catches the swell with the ease of a veteran surfer.

"Fu-fu-fuck, baby I'm cumming," he groans as he lets your leg go. You wrap both of your legs around his waist and cradle him as he collapses on top of you and spills into the condom. The two of you stay like this for a few moments, until Minghao slowly pulls out of you. Immediately feeling the sensitivity, you let out a small hiss as he slides out. He peppers your face with kisses to help as he slips the condom off.

After the two of you get cleaned up, you both lay under your sheets — legs tangled, your breaths matching each others, his hand drawing random shapes on your upper arm. The silence that falls over you two is comfortable, but there's something waiting to break the quiet.

"We did this totally backwards," Minghao giggles. You look up at him with wide eyes, a bit in shock with his choice of his words. Realizing that, he immediately presses a kiss to your nose to calm you.

"What I meant was that I would've at least liked to take you on a date first." It was Minghao's turn to blush. You giggle and place a soft kiss on his lips.

"We've never been the kind to go about things the typical way Hao," you quip. The smile he gives you makes your heart sing and swell. It's the type of smile that you'd spend the rest of your life preserving. The kind people fought wars for.

"That's true… In that case, wanna be my girlfriend?"

You hit his chest softly and he places his hand over yours. You kiss his hand and you know that he knows the answer to his question.

Yes.

It's a new week of work and you and Minghao walk into the building, hand in hand. Your favorite security guard makes no verbal mention of it when you walk past him, but you do not miss the giant grin plastered on his face as he hands the two of you your badges.

"You get up to anything fun this weekend?" The smugness incredibly evident on his face. You shrug, pretending to be absolutely aloof. In your periphery, you see the tips of Minghao's ears turn pink. Collecting your badges from Chan's hands, you nudge Minghao in the direction of the elevator. Once inside, you let out the laugh you'd been holding in, clutching your your sides. He looks at you like you've grown two heads. You wipe your tears and explain to him that Chan knew about the feelings you'd been harboring for the last five years.

"Chan was probably thinking 'Finally'." You shake your head, chuckling. As soon the two of you step off the elevator, you hear a shriek and suddenly you're pulled away from Minghao. You get wrapped into a tight hug by Hyeri, who sounds absolutely hysterical.

"Hi! What's this for? Don't get me wrong I quite love everything that is happening, but Ri you never hug me." She hits your arm, sniffling, warning you to not joke around.

The rest of the team surrounds you, thanking the heavens that you were alright. You and Minghao share the same questioning look. Your resident boy-genius fills you in by directing your eyes to the TV behind him. Your boss, Agent Choi Seungcheol is leading a press conference. Your eyebrows scrunch in even more confusion and then you read the byline at the bottom of the screen: "Caissa Networks sends clear message to the FBI". Hyeri finally lets you go, her eyes rimmed with red and damp. She continues scolding you for not answering any of her calls over the weekend. She rambles on about the fact that there was a threatening letter left on the doorstep of your boss' door with your name on it.

The bullpen is quiet until Dr. Jeon breaks the silence.

"What did happen to you this weekend?" You shake your head, shifting your eyes to Minghao. Neither of you talked about whether or not you were gonna tell everyone the second you came back to the office. You were both otherwise preoccupied. Before either of you can fumble through some awkward explanation, Seungcheol walks in, the poster boy for stoicism.

"Team meeting. 10 minutes," is all he says as he walks by. Like ducklings following their mother, the rest of the team tails behind him. Wonwoo narrows his eyes at the two of you before following suit. Silence falls between you and Minghao. You can hear the corners of his mouth turning up, ready to interrupt the quiet.

"So… You gonna tell the truth and say it was love at first sight?" The smugness is radiating off of him. You roll your eyes and mockingly tell him that he's not funny.

The smile on his face is annoyingly wide, but also dazzling. Not wanting to dignify him with a response, you turn on your heel and walk towards the conference room.

"C'moooon. It's a little bit funny!" He whispers into your ear.

"Pissing me off this early in the morning and in our relationship is not a smart move, Xu." You grumble quietly as you enter the conference room. Minghao's right behind you, sheepish grin as Seungcheol raises his brow at the two of you.

The rest of the meeting is spent trying to keep your focus as Minghao draws circles on your thigh underneath the table. You know it's his special way of apologizing and buttering you up. You make eye contact with Hyeri at some point and from across the table she mouths, "Girlfriend?!" referring to your comment from earlier. A look that says "I'll explain everything later" dances in your eyes and she returns a quick nod. There's a smile hidden behind your eyes, giddy at the memory of Minghao asking you to be his girlfriend.

taglist: @chogiwaw @cherrymayz @lunaxgyu @choco-scoups

a/n: this is my longest fic so far, this was such a labor of love and i am so excited to share it with everyone! this fic would not exist without the beautiful brains behind this collab: luna, rae and izzy — thank you for bringing everyone together and giving us new writers a space to feel comfy and welcomed. to @livmarauder, @luvrung and @belovedgyu thank you for beta reading and helping this fic shine even brighter! a special dedication to my 8stars always! as always rbs are appreciated and rb's with your comments/tags are welcomed ♡ divider cred: @bunnytoppop

[chogiwaw]

lets go ami!!! cant wait to read it!

[livmarauder]

546 DAYS | k.sy (part one)

WHEN IDOL KWON SOONYOUNG finds himself at rock bottom after getting slammed for multiple crimes he didn't commit and a scandal that sets his career aflame, becoming your rookie was the last place anyone expected him to be. Under your own fire of having so many rookies wash out under your watch, you have no choice but to decide if he's worth the risk or if its your personal mission to get him to quit.

PAIRING: rookie!soonyoung x training officer!fem!reader GENRE: Enemies to Lovers (Slightly One Sided), Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Grumpy x Sunshine, Opposites Attract, Forced Proximity, Mutual Pining (Eventually), Workplace Romance (Co-Workers) AU: Rookie AU TOTAL PT 1 WC: 44.5k PART ONE WARNINGS: mentions of blood and gore, mentions of violence including (but not limited to) fighting and punches, mentions of murders, topics on kidnapping, mentions of weapons such as snipers, pistols and shotguns, mentions of death of side characters, mentions of dead bodies, mentions of anxiety, breakdowns, insecurities and ptsd, mentions of drug use/ being drugged, misogynistic comments (from oc side characters - criminals and sometimes from internal affairs), a lot of mean comments (from reader to soonyoung), a lot of swearing

LIV'S NOTES... note one: hello! this is part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab hosted by @belovedgyu, @jakedustry and @nerdycheol! this is the longest fic that i've written so far! but i am pleased to bring you guys rookie soonyoung! thank you to everyone for the amazing support on the teaser! means the world to me <3 so i really hope that you all enjoy this monster that was written for the better part of two months hehe! <3

note two: ofc! as per usual, we need our block of thanks! firstly a big thank you to luna, izzy and rae for creating this collab where i got to meet so many amazing writers and make friends that will last lifetimes <3 you three are amazing and you help us out a lot more than you think you do so thank you <3 thank you to my army of beta-readers @jakedustry @luvrung @cherrymayz @gentleisa for being the first to read about rookie soonyoung and provide feedback for my many grammar mistakes as i was pulling 2-3 hour sprints with some of you hehe <3. thank you to may, ale, ami, @mellowgyu, @chogiwaw, @hopecutie for being the best sprint buddies and for seeing me crash out over rookie soonyoung and nova. thank you to @paradiseonthemoon for the nickname Nova. and ofc my other lovely writers in the collab who have supported since day one and make me laugh, @caratchronicles, @choco-scoups @pomegranate-teardrop @cxffecoupx @onionhassayyo you all mean the world to me and i'm so excited that our works are being published for the world to see <3

note three: without further ado, now showing: 546 days! i hope you enjoy <3

PART TWO (Coming Soon)

Check out the other amazing shows! -> BLOCKBUSTER MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST | NAVI

Predictable. If you had to use one word to describe your mornings, that would be it. In a job full of the unpredictable, you took solace in your morning routines that never strayed far from the beaten road. It was so predictable that Mingyu, Minghao and Seokmin could even tell what you were doing from the get go, no matter what time it was before you step into work.

5am - Wake Up and Get Ready 5:30am - Morning Run 6:30am - Home and Shower 7am - Breakfast & Smoothie Prep 7:30am - Leave for the Station 8am - Reach the Station 8:30am - Roll Call

Which is why at exactly 7am, you exit your bedroom, fresh as a daisy to find Minghao already at the stove, preparing breakfast and humming to himself as the smell of bacon fill your nose.

"Morning." He greets, not sparing a glance at you as he continues to move around the kitchen, with the bacon still sizzling on the pan. You make your way around the kitchen island, giving his arm a quick squeeze in greeting.

"Morning, Hao." You glance curiously into the bowl, wondering what he was mixing. A small grin appears on your lips as you realize what the mixture is. "Pancakes? Are we feeding a whole school here, big brother?"

Minghao rolls his eyes, letting out a soft scoff as he pushes you away from the bowl. "I figured, since it's rookie day that we will need the extra little bit of energy to keep us from loosing our minds today." He raises an eyebrow. "But if you don't want to eat it, I guess I could just pack the rest for Seokmin and Mingyu. Your eyes widen as you let out a flabbergasted gasp before whacking his shoulder, making him yelp a little in response. "You wouldn't! I'm your sister!"

"Step-sister." Minghao corrects a little pointedly, rubbing the spot where you hit him as you roll your eyes in response.

"to-May-to, to-Mah-to." You quip back, emphasizing on the different syllables. Minghao roll his eyes, biting back a smile as he shoos you away from the stove. You walk around him towards the fridge, pulling out ingredients for your morning smoothie.

"Besides," Minghao starts softly, clearing his throat as you glance over at him, "I thought we could also have these like when we were kids." He continues to stir the bowl, chewing his bottom lip. "Bacon pancakes were definitely the best way to start the school term."

Minghao and you have been half-siblings since you were 6 years old, your mother having met his father in the most cliche way possible by accidentally spilling coffee on him at the coffee shop down the road from your house. Your mother, being the people pleaser she was, immediately offered him one of your fathers old shirts from the closet as he laughed at her and told her that it was okay. They then got to talking and bonded over their shared grievances before eventually giving this new relationship a shot. When their relationship started getting more serious, it was time for the 'Meet the Kids' Session, where your mother brought you to Minghao's house to meet him and his dad for the first time.

You remember being in that little pink dress your mother had forced you into, and staring at the boy who looked like he was contemplating slamming the door in your faces as soon as he saw the two of you behind it. Thankfully, he didn't and just stared at you even after his father ushered you and your mother into the house. You shuffled awkwardly under his gaze as he continued to quietly stare at you, almost as if he was analyzing you.

"Honey," your mother started, pushing you a little towards the boy, "This is Minghao." His father repeated the same process, speaking your name softly as you stood right in front of the older boy. His eyes flitted around your face before staring you dead in the eye and opened his mouth as you braced for whatever mean words he wanted to say.

"Would you like to see my seashell collection?" You blink once. Twice. Three Times. "Seashells?"

Minghao gave one firm nod before your eyes comically widened as you nodded your head excitedly. Just like that, his face lit up and he gave you a toothy grin before grabbing your hand and leading you to his room. Where he showed you his really cute and pretty seashell collection.

Fast forward to a marriage and 20 or so years later, here you were, sharing a four room apartment with your step-brother; who still had the same seashell collection in his room which was getting bigger with every trip you two had taken together.

You blink at the older man, warmth filling your chest as you smile a little, remembering the fond memories. "I love that." You answer softly, closing the fridge door. "Maybe that should be our new tradition for every rookie day now."

Minghao simply hums, a small grin on his face as you pull out a chopping board from the cupboard. "Want one?" You ask, sparing him a glance as you lay out all the ingredients in-front of you.

"Sure."

The two of you work your way around the kitchen, seamlessly moving out of each others way and getting everything done before both of you settle across from each other.Plates stacked with bacon and pancakes, as well as the smoothie that you made with whatever you could find in the fridge. The two of you eat in silence, chatting momentarily here and there about anything and everything, a simple "Let's go grocery shopping this weekend", or "Should we go out with Gyu and Seok this weekend?"

Your morning ends with Minghao going to take a shower while you pour the leftover smoothies into to-go cups for him and yourself. Clearing the dishes, you smile to yourself as the soap bubbles coat your arms. These are definitely what mornings are suppose to look like. Predictable. Structured. Unsurprising. After a morning like this, what could possibly go wrong?

The quiet moment before roll call is definitely the best part of your morning. It is further affirmed by the two tall troublemakers sitting on top of the break tables in the TO Break Room.

"You guys are aware that there are completely comfortable chairs just beside the table, right?" Minghao asks as soon as the two of you enter the room, deadpan etched in his tone as he gestures towards the four chairs on either side of the table. "You guys are even spoiled for choice when it comes to which seat you'll pick!"

The two whip their heads towards you and your step-brother before they roll their eyes at his words, almost in sync. Their reactions make you cover your mouth, biting back a smile as you try not to giggle. "Just for that, I'm greeting Nova first." Mingyu, the taller of the two says as he stands up and walks towards you before pulling you into a giant bear hug making you groan as he squeezes you tight.

The action is definitely for show for Minghao making you tap hard on Mingyu's biceps, a way to tell him to get off nicely. "Can't. Breathe. Gyu." You manage to mutter out between taps. Mingyu, the ever-loving oaf, did not listen and instead, squeezes you tighter in response. Before you could pass out, the other tall man saves you by yanking Mingyu off of you, pulling you into his embrace instead. "Nova." Seokmin chirps, giving you a squeeze as you smile up at the man.

"Hey, Sunshine." You chirp back, embracing his hug as he squeezes you just a little tighter at the mention of the nickname. Seokmin lets you go before pulling your older step-brother into a side hug, which he begrudgingly accepts as you take a seat on top of the break table, much to Minghaos' dismay as he grimaces when you shoot him a teasing look. "Can't believe it's already our twenty-first Rookie Day!" Mingyu exclaims, taking his seat beside yours, on the top of the break table, the protein shake in his hand sloshing slightly.

You share a look with Minghao, who sits on the chair next to the table (just to prove a point, you're sure), before collectively rolling your eyes. "You're making it sound as if it's like getting the best present in the world." Mingyu raises an eyebrow as he takes a gulp of his protein shake. "It is for you and Nova." He says pointedly, closing the shake with a 'click'. "The poor souls that get the two of you as their training officers better start praying for their lives."

Minghao lets out a scoff as you exasperatedly gasp. "Me?" You ask, feigning ignorance as you dramatically place your hand on your chest. Seokmin lets out a little giggle at your antics, taking a seat next to Minghao on the chair — a way to keep him company. "I'm an angel. The rookies should be glad that it's me training them instead of a tall lanky bozo like you."

Mingyu's jaw drops at your statement as Seokmin starts laughing harder, almost falling off the chair while Minghao smirks, his amusement shining through as he watches you and Mingyu bicker. "Well! At least they don't call me Medusa behind my back!" He shoots back.

"Better than being called Brunette Ken, with all the muscles and no brains." You deadpan out, taking a sip of your smoothie as you shrug. "Besides, Medusa's a badass. She turns people to stone."

Mingyu scoffs at this, a pout making its way onto his face. "Your heart is made out of stone." He sourly mutters.

You roll your eyes, about to retort when you hear a knock on the door. The four of you turn towards it to see Seungcheol leaning against it, a grim expression on his face.

"Sergeant." Mingyu exclaims, his mood picking up instantly after seeing him. He mocks a salute which makes Seokmin giggle and Minghao shake his head with a slight grin on his lips. "May I say you're looking lovely this morning." You let out a giggle before looking at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol, however, did not crack a grin. He sends a nod in Mingyu's direction before locking eyes with you. "Nova, my office in ten."

You blink in surprise, caught off-guard by the seriousness in his tone, before giving him a curt nod. "Yes, Sergeant." He turns without another word, making you look towards the three men who stare at you, as if deciding whether to start praying for you or to reassure you.

"Did you do something to piss him off?" Seokmin inquires, his eyebrows furrowing with worry.

You shake your head. "No… I don't think so." Running through the previous weeks events in your head, you visibly freeze.

Minghao, ever the observer, raises an eyebrow at the action. "What did you do?"

You chew on your bottom lip. "I might've eaten his leftover kimchi stew in the fridge the other day when he wasn't in the office."

The three guys visibly freeze at your confession, unsure of how to react. They share a look between each other before turning back to you.

"The one from the place down the street that he was raving about last week?" Minghao asks, his voice laced with seriousness. In any other situation, you probably would've cackled at how serious your brother looks but instead, you swallow your saliva and nod slowly.

It was almost comedic watching the three guys' expressions change before your very eyes into one of grievances (Mingyu), one of disappointment (Minghao), and one of exasperation (Seokmin).

"Well, we loved working with you." Mingyu says empathetically as he reaches over to pat you on your shoulder.

"I can't believe you would do that." Minghao deadpans, shaking his head. "You know better than to mess with his food after the Bulgogi incident." Minghao states before nudging a thumb in Mingyu's direction.

"Hey!" Mingyu whines out as a pout overtakes his features. "We said we weren't going to bring it up anymore."

"We do when someone messes with the sergeant's food instead of learning from your mistakes."

Mingyu was about to retort when Seokmin stands up, animatedly waving his arms in any direction available making the three of you jump slightly.

"Guys! C'mon!" He says exasperatingly, his arms never wavering. "We need to figure out a way to get her out of this!"

"She brought this upon herself." Minghao says, crossing his arms. "The amount of times I have to remind you guys not to eat his food is getting out of hand." He mutters, locking eyes with you making you shrink back, a little sheepishly.

"What's going on?"

The four of you turn towards the door to see Jun. The older man assesses the room with the precision of a sniper — which he is — with an eyebrow raised. "Are you guys bullying Nova again?"

Sergeant Wen Junhui, is one of the leaders of Vanguard, a Special Enforcement Unit which is usually in charge of all the high risk cases in the area. To you and the rest, however, he was just known as Jun, one of the first few friends the four of you made in the academy. He was also your guys' senior by one year. Other than having a noticeable soft spot for Minghao, he had a bigger noticeable one for you — always making sure that the guys were not bullying you as much while always having your back.

The guys used to make fun of you all the time, saying that Jun probably did that because he had a crush on you — much to Minghao's dismay as your older stepbrother. You used to shut it down as well, always telling them to shut up. However, you did secretly have a small crush on the older man. Not that you would ever admit it. However, all of those theories turned into history when Jun met his girlfriend a year ago.

"She ate Choi's leftover kimchi stew that was in the fridge the other day." Minghao deadpans, making Jun's eyes widen before locking them with yours.

"You didn't." He says in utter disbelief, making you smile sheepishly as Mingyu nods.

"Oh yes she did."

"Nova…" Jun sympathetically drawls out, making your cheeks heat up before you throw your hands up exasperatedly.

"I know okay! Can we please let this go?" You beg. "I don't want to think of all the bad outcomes before they even happen!"

"Maybe we could say that the janitor threw it out." Mingyu suggests, ignoring whatever you just said, making you glare at him.

Minghao shakes his head. "No, Hyunseok is smarter than that after making the mistake once." Minghao recalls, making Seokmin shudder as he recalls the memory as well.

"Maybe he didn't even notice." Jun suggests hopefully, hopping on top of the break room table next to Mingyu. Mingyu furrows his eyebrows before shaking his head almost disappointingly.

"I think the top marksman badge from the academy that hangs above his desk would disagree with you."

You feel the pit in your stomach get deeper with each word they say, making you groan as you run your hands down your face. "I beg of you, please, can we just stop talking about this." You muffle out from behind your hands.

The room goes silent at your words before you feel a hand on your shoulder. You peek out from behind them to look at Minghao, the owner of the hand, who tongues his cheek. "You'll be fine, Pixie. Just go in that room and do what you always do." He clicks his tongue before gesturing towards the other three men in the room. "We kid and mess with you because we like you, I'm sure it's nothing serious."

Your cheeks flush a little at the endearing childhood nickname that Minghao uses every now and then when he's serious or trying to comfort you. The rest had tried to use it after hearing Minghao say it the first time when you were all in the academy together, but that was quickly shot down when you threatened major bodily harm in the worst ways imaginable.

You glance towards the three other men in question who give you reassuring smiles, making you let out a breath that you didn't know you were holding. You glance towards the clock before hopping off the table and dusting your uniform.

"Well, time to face the music." You mumble to yourself.

The four guys share a glance before Seokmin places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "We'll see you at roll call." He says, giving you an infectious grin that almost makes you forget that you are walking towards potential death.

Almost.

You bid them goodbye before walking towards Seungcheol's office. You raise your fist, taking a deep breath to compose your nerves, before knocking three hard knocks on the door. A soft 'come in' comes from the other side of the door, making you push the door open to see Seungcheol leaning against his chair, his expression unreadable as you enter the room.

"You wanted to see me Sarge?" You ask, hoping your voice didn't waver. Seungcheol nods and gestures to the chair in front of his desk.

"Shut the door and take a seat."

You nod, obeying his words before shutting the door with a soft thud and sitting in the chair, Seungcheol watching your every move. He sits upright, analyzing you with a small frown on his face that makes your nerves spike as an awkward silence envelopes the two of you. He opens his mouth to start but you cut him off before he can even get a word out.

"I'm sorry! I'll buy you the stew later for lunch if you don't give me the Bulgogi scolding."

Seungcheol eyebrows immediately furrow at your words, considering them for a moment as you continue to babble on about how you're willing to add on all the extras that could be added, moving your hands around animatedly.

"What?" He asks, confusion written all over his face, making you stop mid-ramble. Your hands freeze in place as you turn to look at the man, your expression almost mirroring his.

"Wasn't that what you wanted to talk about Sarge?"

"I don't even know what you're spouting right now, Nova."

"Oh." You awkwardly mumble out, lowering your arms slowly to your side. Seungcheol squeezes the bridge of his nose as he lets out a sigh, shaking his head. "Then why did you call me here, Sarge?"

He clasps his hands together before leaning them against the table. "As you know, its rookie day, meaning that all the new rookies are coming in today." You nod slowly, urging him to continue. "Normally, I wouldn't make such a big deal of talking to you or the other TOs about the rookies, but upper management has been flagging records, specifically yours."

You freeze at that, watching as Seungcheol reaches beside him and grabs a piece of paper, turning it around and placing it between the two of you. You lean closer, eyes scanning the paper, noticing a table with numbers and names.

Training Officer - Lee Seokmin: Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 3 Total Passes - 17

Training Officer - Kim Mingyu: Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 1 Total Passes - 19

Training Officer - Xu Minghao: Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 8 Total Passes - 12

You briefly screen past the rest of the names and numbers before your eyes land on yours, which was right under Minghao's.

Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 11 Total Passes - 9

There was nothing unusual about these numbers. There was a reason why you were known as Nova to the rest of the district since your rookie days. However, what caught your attention was the words written underneath your numbers in the report that the rest did not get.

"Evaluation of Nova: Fierce by nature but tends to leave her rookies to fend for themselves in many reported situations. Needs to get at least double digits this year. If not, removal from TO program as seen fit." Your head shoots up to look at Seungcheol as soon as the words register in your mind. "Removal from TO program? Sarge, you can't be serious."

Seungcheol let out a sigh, grimacing slightly. "Internal Affairs is indeed taking this as a serious issue, Nova. They flagged that your teaching methods have been deemed unfit for taking in the newer rookies. They would like to at least see double digit numbers out of you this year if not," he points at the statement, "removal from TO program, effective immediately."

"Sir, with all due respect, this is bullshit." You manage to spit out. "My rookies turned officers rate may be low but the officers developed under my watch are the ones who are the best of the district. Even IA has got to know that."

Seungcheol sighs again and clasps his hands together, gripping them together tightly. "Look Nova," he starts, "of course I know that this is Internal Affairs way of bullshitting that you can't be here in this program. Your track record for rookies is definitely one of our best."

He pauses to gesture towards the statement again. "However, IA has flagged the number of wash outs that happen on your watch. Regardless of whether it is by luck that I always assign you the worst rookies, or that they do something stupid during the job or wash out during Plain Clothes Day… it doesn't matter." He leans against his chair, looking absolutely drained. "I had to fight with IA about this because they almost flagged your brother for the same exact reason." You chuckle with no humour, a little hurt by his words. "So you save him instead of me?"

His gaze hardens at your words. "You know it wasn't like that, Nova. Don't be like that, please." He says lowly, his tone cracking slightly, making guilt pit at your stomach. You knew it wasn't but you couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

You had met Seungcheol in an Undercover Class during your first year as an official officer and he quickly became an elder brother figure to both you and Minghao, always forcing you two to reconcile whenever you both had petty fights. He rose up the ranks faster than anyone you had known of due to his amazing leadership skills as well as his prior army experience that he had kept to himself a lot. When he had first made Sergeant at this district, you and Minghao immediately put in your transfer papers to transfer to his.

He sighs, reaching over to grasp one of your hands in his, a gesture you were familiar with, a way of showing of showing comfort from the older man.

"The two of you were almost kicked out of the program without any consultation." He says before rubbing a thumb over your hand comfortingly. "I was only called as a common courtesy because the guy in charge of the case owes me a favour from the army days. I fought tooth and nail for you and I was only able to save Hao because his passing numbers are in the double digits. Which is why they're offering you the same courtesy." You feel empty at Seungcheol's words and the thought that you and your brother almost suffered the same fate.

You and Minghao were known as the 'Deadly Weapons' during your years at the academy. Your records together broke everyone else's the minute you guys were rookies, making training officers in record time. You, more so than Minghao, had a track record for putting your rookies under immense pressure, tossing them into the deep end and letting them try to swim and fend for themselves more often than not.

Hence, the nickname, Nova— more so than Medusa— followed you through all those years.

You believed in teachable moments but at the end of the day, you were still only twenty-seven. A year younger than Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin, and you had definitely committed your fair share of mistakes during your few years as a training officer. You were harsh on some, didn't train some of them enough before plain clothes day and there were just some circumstances that couldn't be avoided while out on the field.

Seungcheol taps a finger on your hand, making you snap out of your thoughts. You look at him, his eyes filled with sympathy that makes you swallow your emotions and sit up straighter.

"Alright." You manage to say. "If double digits is what they want, the next rookie is going to be the best one I've trained." If you didn't know Seungcheol for long, you might have breezed past the way he visibly freezes at your words, or the way he hummed— a habit he did when he was hiding something.

You raise an eyebrow at that. "Sarge." You say, suspiciously eyeing the man. "What are you hiding?"

Seungcheol can't meet your eyes so you pull your hand away from his. "Seungcheol." You say, your tone more serious, making the man glance upwards.

"That was the next thing we need to talk about."

Your heart sinks again. "That doesn't sound good." You air out, sitting more upright than you already were.

"Your new rookie is, Kwon Soonyoung."

You blink at him before letting out a small laugh. "Wow, poor guy. If I had the same name as that god-forsaken idol of a murderer, I would definitely change my name straight away. Especially if I was training to become a police officer."

Seungcheol lets out a cough of a laugh before locking eyes with you. "Yeah," he says, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair. "But he is the Kwon Soonyoung, and he was found not guilty."

You stare at Seungcheol for any signs of humour before feeling your heart in your throat. "Sarge, please tell me you're fucking with me." Seungcheol looks at you, his eyebrows raising. "Does it look like I'm joking, Nova?"

You shoot from your seat, feeling your blood rushing. "This has gotta be a joke, Choi." You spit out. "A tabloid murderer—"

"An exonerated tabloid murderer." Seungcheol says, interrupting your rant and causing you to glare at him before continuing.

"—joining our district and being my rookie? Are we just letting anyone join nowadays?"

Seungcheol let out a sigh before standing up and walking over, standing a few meters away from you. "Actually, Officer Kwon had to sue the city to even be in this position because he was wrongfully charged in the first place. The trial found him not guilty and let him into the academy." You let out a slow breath as he continues. "And once he was there, he earned solid scores. His record also tells me they're better than yours."

You freeze at that, your frown deepening. "You can't be serious." You deadpan out.

Seungcheol shakes his head, picking up a paper on his desk before turning it to you. Your eyes widen as the score '389' reflects clearly on the sheet of paper causing you to internally curse. The murderer had scored one point higher than you. One Point.

Seungcheol pulls the paper away from your face, placing it back on his desk as you collect the million thoughts racing through your head. "Internal Affairs has decided that he is your new rookie to really test that your training methods work."

You feel your chest burn with anger. "This really feels like a threat, Sarge." You manage to spit out, your tone and words laced with venom, making Seungcheol sigh.

"It's the offer you're getting, Nova. So I guess the question is…" Seungcheol trails off, sitting at the corner of his desk as he crosses his arms in front of him. "Whether you're going to condemn him before you even meet the guy or are you going to give him the proper treatment to ensure that he passes with flying colours, so that you and him are able to stay in this district together."

Your eyes narrow at his choice of words before steeling yourself. "If he cannot hack it, I will cut him. Regardless of whether I'm a training officer or not after the fact." You swiftly turn towards the door, not wanting to stay any longer.

Seungcheol calls out your real name, making you pause as you turn back to him. "You're one of the best officers I have, Nova. I hope you know that even though Internal Affairs is being a bitch about it, I would have assigned him to you, regardless of everything happening because I know that you can handle it."

Your heart wrenches slightly at his words as you analyze his expression filled with sincerity and sympathy. It makes you let out a slight scoff as you shake your head. "If I can help it, I will not let a murderer walk out onto our streets, Seungcheol." You steel your gaze on the older man. "Even if its the last thing I get to do as a training officer in this district."

With that, you walk out the door.

All the sounds muffle as you continue down the hallway making your way towards the main meeting room for roll call as a number settles in between your thoughts.

546 Days.

You had seen the number written on Kwon Soonyoung's contract under your name.

546 Days under your watch.

546 Days where he will either pass with flying colours or flunk out under your watch.

546 Days to prove that all the blood, sweat and tears were worth it.

546 Days to prove that he has a chance to stay.

546 Days to prove that you were meant for this job.

546 Days, and the clock starts now.

Soonyoung can count the number of times he has been caught red-handed on one hand.

The first time being when he was six years old and he broke his mothers favourite vase, the second being when he had accidentally stepped on his dog — Latte's — tail and she had to be taken to the vet when he was ten. Third, when he sneaked out to meet a girl by the convenience store near his house that he liked when he was sixteen, which was also where he had his first kiss.

However, he didn't think the fourth would be at the age of twenty-eight, handcuffed in the back of a cop's car where he could still feel his hands slicked with blood, hear his heart pounding in his ears as he felt the adrenaline continue to rush through his veins.

Everything felt like a rush, as if he was acting in a new movie. Except this was real life.

He remembers the door being broken in, he remembers his hands stained with red as he was forced to move away from the body. He remembers the muffled yelling of the officers telling him to stand down and surrender when he hadn't even moved from where he was sitting.

He remembers being tackled by the officers, feeling them slam his head into the floor as they handcuffed his bloody hands together and forced him up on his feet, without a second thought for him.

He remembers being read his rights in the back of the car, he remembers being processed and being read his rights in the interrogation room.

He remembers flinching as the detective hit the metal table and yelled at him to answer their questions, questions he doesn't even recall hearing.

Worst of all, he remembers clutching her body in his arms, his hands getting soaked with red as he felt the tears run down his face, hearing his own yells that were muffled and he was sure that it was all just gibberish. Even with his face on the floor and his hands handcuffed behind his back, he could still see the pool of blood that she was left in, her white dress that he had gotten her for her last birthday was soaked with the crimson of her blood. Her eyes, that was once so full of life just bore into his, lifeless and dim.

He had never felt so broken.

Everything felt like a movie, he remembers calling in his oldest friend — Jeonghan — he remembers his manager getting tons of calls, looking more stressed than he had ever seen him, but he thinks the worst part of everything was the look on his parents face when he had gotten convicted, when he was almost convicted without trial.

Soonyoung woke up with a start, his bangs slick with sweat as he felt the cool air prickle his slightly sweaty skin. He groans, running a hand through his hair as a million thoughts ran through his mind.

Her in her white dress soaked crimson from her own blood. Her lips pale, her body cold and limp in Soonyoung's arms as her blood soaked his skin as well, painting his skin red.

He can't remember how many times he had woken up from the same nightmare, but he knows it had to be at least in the sixties or seventies now, considering he used to have this nightmare three times a week during his first week of trials.

That was almost a year and a half ago at this point, he remembers the endless weeks of trial, the sleepless nights of solo-confinement and shudders. When the jury ruled 'not guilty' and he was exonerated, Soonyoung spent the better part of the first few months going for therapy sessions that Jeonghan practically had to drag him to.

"Self-pity is okay." Jeonghan had assured him when Soonyoung brought it up once how much of a burden he felt, wallowing in it. "You went through something that no one should have to experience. It's okay to wallow in the self-pity for a while but don't let it become something that turns you into a shell for the rest of your life."

Soonyoung remembers wanting to argue then, about how it felt wrong for him to live when she was gone but upon seeing the tired look on Jeonghan's face, he shuts up. He was thankful for the older man, who represented him in court and managed to get a settlement for him which was the only good thing reaped from this god-awful case. It was so messy and the evidence was tainted by so many sources, that the case itself was just a nightmare.

Jeonghan had asked what Soonyoung wanted to do with the settlement after the case was over and Soonyoung couldn't tell him. He knew he couldn't go back to being an idol after this — not that he wanted to — the public opinion of him was the worst it had been in years. But after settling down and resting his head on a soft plushy pillow while staring at the ceiling, it clicks.

He used the settlement to sue his way into the police academy and the rest was history.

Soonyoung glances towards his digital calendar on the wall and curses lowly under his breath. Maybe it was just his luck that he happens to have this nightmare plague his mind on the first day of his rookie training. His eyes, flit towards the time on the bottom right of the calendar. He lets out a sigh as it reads 6:20am, an unfortunate time for him to be awake. He forces himself to sit up on the mattress, knowing that sleep will not come easy after the nightmare.

He gets off the mattress and shuffles out of his room, the air of the recent nightmare still lingering which suffocates him slightly. As soon as he opens the door, Soonyoung gets the shock of his life seeing Jeonghan sitting at their kitchen island, a cup of tea in one hand and his phone in the other, scrolling.

"Morning." Jeonghan nonchalantly states as he takes a sip of his tea. He barely glances up at Soonyoung, acting as if it was normal for him to be up at this ungodly hour. Soonyoung blinks at the older man, staring at him making Jeonghan finally glance up, noticing that he hadn't moved from the doorframe and raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"I should be asking you that." Soonyoung blurts out, shuffling into the kitchen. He leans against the kitchen counter as Jeonghan locks his phone, placing it face-down on the countertop. "Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?"

Jeonghan shrugs. "Was burning the midnight oil working on a nightmare of a new case so I didn't get a lot of sleep." Jeonghan pauses, analyzing the younger man. "I was planning to wake up earlier anyways. Wanted to see if you needed anything before you went in for your first day."

Soonyoung feels himself freeze at the double meaning of Jeonghan's words, which of course doesn't go unnoticed by the older man who slides off the island seat. "Tea?" Jeonghan offers softly. Soonyoung feels himself nod before moving to occupy the seat that Jeonghan was in, as if he was on auto-pilot.

Jeonghan shuffles around the kitchen, humming softly to himself as Soonyoung taps along, fingers moving along to the beat as he watches the older man move around the kitchen. Jeonghan had offered Soonyoung to move in with him right after the ruling, when Soonyoung had sold everything that even held a small resemblance to his old idol life, wanting to start anew.

At first, he was hesitant, he didn't want to intrude on Jeonghan's space, and after bringing that up to Jeonghan, the older man simply rolled his eyes and practically moved Soonyoung in without consent.

Jeonghan places the mug in-front of Soonyoung before leaning against the counter.Soonyoung takes the cup with a soft 'thank you' making Jeonghan hum in acknowledgement as he eyes the blonde man in front of him. He takes a small sip, sighing a little in contentment as he feels his chest warm from the hot liquid.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Soonyoung sighs as he meets Jeonghan's gaze, shrugging. "Nothing new." He states, his words bitter as he takes another sip. "Just of that night."

Jeonghan was painfully familiar with that night. He had asked Soonyoung to walk him through it at least a dozen times to make sure that there were no loopholes in his story that the DA would eat him alive for.

Jeonghan let out a sigh. "Are you sure that you're ready for today?" He asks, concern slipping into his tone. "The therapist said that she could always write you a letter to start next week."

Soonyoung shakes his head. "No." He had already considered this the other day when Minyoung, his therapist, brought it up during their most recent session together. It seemed too much like an easy way out and Soonyoung knew that as soon as he took it, it would make his journey a little less purposeful.

"I need to do this." Soonyoung states with a quiet resolve. "I need to make sure that no one else goes through the same thing that I did and I also need to do this for…" He trails off, not being able to say her name. But Jeonghan gets it, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, you were always the more resolved one out of the two of us." Jeonghan softly jokes, breaking the tension as Soonyoung barks out a laugh.

"No way." Soonyoung starts, shaking his head. "Have you seen yourself in court? You nearly ate that other lawyer alive."

Jeonghan scoffs at that. "Because their defense was bullshit." He snarkily states, shaking his head. "Like, how the fuck does 'your honour, the defendants footprints were found on the carpet where the body was found' hold up in court?" Jeonghan blurts out, his hands waving exasperatedly. "Like, no shit Sherlock, it says that in the fucking report."

Soonyoung laugh as Jeonghan continues to rant about the lawyer, his hands continuing their movements. When Jeonghan finally calms down, they launch back into another round of random but easy conversations to pass the time as they finish their cups of tea.

Jeonghan stretches slightly, glancing at the clock. "Well, time for us to get ready."

His words make Soonyoung look towards the clock hanging on the wall, realizing that it was already 7:30am. He goes to pick his cup up but Jeonghan beats him to it, stubbornly shaking his head at Soonyoungs' protests. "I got this, you can't afford to be late on your first day."

Soonyoung scoffs. "And you can?"

"Well, I'm not at the bottom of the food chain, Boot." Jeonghan quips back, a small smirk on his face. The younger boy rolls his eyes, silently flipping the older boy off before making his way into his bedroom.

"Hoshi?"

Soonyoung stops in his tracks, hearing the childhood nickname. He glances at Jeonghan who is standing by the sink. "Yeah?"

Jeonghan analyzes Soonyoung, chewing on his bottomm lip. "If anything bad happens today, I want you to tell me about it." Soonyoung blinks and opens his mouth but Jeonghan raises his hand, stopping him from whatever he was going to say. "I don't care how gory the details are or how fucked up the case is. If anything happens, you either tell me or text Minyoung about it." Jeonghan inhales a shaky breath, strict concern written all over his face. "Promise me, please?"

Soonyoung's heart clenches at Jeonghan's words before nodding. "I promise."

Jeonghan let out a slow exhale of relief and nods. "Good." He turns back to the sink. "I'll see you at dinner, don't do anything stupid that makes you late."

The tension of the earlier statements break at Jeonghan's nagging making Soonyoung roll his eyes. "Yes, mum."

"Don't start with me, Kwon Soonyoung." Jeonghan chastises, jokingly stern which makes Soonyoung's eyes roll again as a scoff falls from his lips. He enters his room, shutting the door behind him with a soft 'thud' before his eyes flit towards the rookie uniform hanging next to his mirror.

He inhales sharply, letting the silence wash over him as the fact finally settles that today is his first day in the actual police world. He didn't have the safety net of the academy and he has to be prepared for anything.

Soonyoung turns toward the window where sunlight starts to seep in as it rises slowly over the horizon of the buildings. Pink and orange clouds fill the sky as dark blue starts to seep in, the orange ball of light peeking through the buildings. Soonyoung smiles, slightly bittersweet. Pink and orange were her favourite colours after all.

"Thank you for another beautiful morning, Seoyeon."

"You're kidding." Seokmin states in disbelief, a small frown on his face. You give him a blank stare as Minghao, Mingyu and him peer into the windowed briefing room. "Kwon Soonyoung? Like the murderer?!"

"Exonerated murderer." You state bitterly, Seungcheol's voice ringing in your head. "Choi was very clear about that fact when he told me about it."

The four of you stand outside the briefing room, leaning against the desks as you stare at the exonerated murderer in question, sitting at the front row, engaging with the other three rookies.

"He looks so…" Mingyu trails off, tilting his head as Minghao fixes him with an unamused look. "Normal?" Minghao asks with an eyebrow raised.

Mingyu shakes his head. "Small."

Seokmin scoffs at that. "You're a giant, everyone is smaller than you by default."

The two start to bicker but you tune them out as you stare at the blonde headed rookie, squinting and analyzing him as he laughs at something the rookie next to him says. Despite being slightly older than them, you can tell that they're close from the way that they were cracking jokes with each other. Soonyoung, however, is nervous. You can tell from the way he keeps tapping his fingers against the metal table, no doubt worried about how the day was going to turn out.

"Pixie." You turn to your right to see Minghao leaning against the desk next to you as Mingyu and Seokmin continued their bickering. "Are you alright?"

You open your mouth, ready to let out an easy white lie but hesitate when you see the concern in Minghao's eyes, making you sigh as you fold your arms. "Not really." You mutter, turning back to look at the rookie. "I don't know how Sarge is expecting me to ride out there with this guy having my back, Hyung. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen."

"I'm sure Sarge has a good reason for putting you with him, Pixie." Minghao gently says. "He probably knows that this is the one thing that will put you on the board for the Sergeants' Exam. A challenge that will put you a notch above the rest." Minghao nudges you, a teasing smile tugging on his lips. "And," he adds, "if he doesn't make it, you can always wash him out. You're the queen of doing that after all."

An awkward laugh bubbles out of your throat as you feel your heart sink, digesting Minghao's words. When the three had crowded you after your meeting with Seungcheol, you hadn't entirely divulged all the details from the meeting. You said that the brass just talked about the new rookie that you needed to shoulder and that it was the wrongfully incarcerated man sitting at the front row.

You couldn't bear to talk about the consequences of what would happen if Soonyoung washes out on your watch, just like you couldn't bear to tell the details of how Minghao was close to being in the same boat as you.

Minghao, ever the observant one, raised an eyebrow at that and asked why the meeting had taken so long if it was just about that. You, ever the adaptable one, replied that you had fought with Seungcheol for the rest of the time about the decision before he finally pulled rank on you.

Not entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either.

"Still." You say, doubts swirling in your head. "What if I can't make him a good officer, Hao?" Minghao shakes his head before grabbing your hand, squeezing it gently in his.

"Pixie, you will deal with it." Minghao reassures gently, squeezing your hand again. "You're one of the best training officers we have and you will teach this idol what it takes to be a police officer and whether he deserves to be here." He continues, his words fiercely imprinting themselves into your mind. "You're Nova for a reason."

The doubts clear slightly at Minghao's words, making you smile at your step-brother as you nudge him. "Best training officer huh?" You ask, a teasing edge in youe words that makes Minghao roll his eyes.

"I take back everything I said."

Your smile widens. "Too lateeee." You singsong out making Minghao scoff, shoving you lightly.

"Shut it Pixie." He says, a ghost of a smile on his lips as you continued to tease him endlessly.

"Four musketeers." A loud, strict voice drawls out, snapping the four of you out of your conversations. The four of you turn to see Seungcheol leaning against the frame of the briefing room door with his arms crossed. Your eyes widen slightly, when the hell did he get there?

His eyebrow raises as he scans the four of you. "Are you four waiting for an invitation for roll call?"

At his words, Mingyu pushes himself off of the table, a cheeky smile on his face. "Of course sir, a hand delivered invitation from you really shows that you care about the four of us."

Seungcheol rolls his eyes before clicking his tongue."How about an invitation to clean the drunk tank instead, Officer Kim?" A small smirk plays on his lips. "I heard they had some real pukers last night."

Mingyu's eyes widen before he clears his throat. "No sir."

Seungcheol raps his knuckles on the door before gesturing into the room. "Inside in 10 seconds. If you aren't," he turns, a sly glint in his eyes, "you can clean the drunk tank with your tongues."

The four of you immediately stand up straight and walk in through the back door, sitting at the second last row of the room as the rest of the officers and the rookies watch you. Your eyes slowly scan the four rookies before they land on your own, locking eyes with him. He gives you a small smile, nerves definitely creeping in as you narrow yours, keeping your face as neutral as possible. His smile drops as you break eye contact, crossing your arms as you turn to look at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol — the watch commander on duty — stands at the front with Jun at his side as his second in command. You glance at Jun who locks eyes with you, giving you a small smile and a wink that makes you bite back your own smile, rolling your eyes at his antics.

"Alright, looks like we got some new blood this morning." Seungcheol starts, giving a once over to the three younger rookies before looking straight at Soonyoung. "And some, pushing it a little bit."

He rounds the stand, "Stand up." The four rookies scramble to their feet. "After six months at the academy, you have earned the right to be here but you'll have to prove yourself to stay. The way we do things matter. Protocol and tradition are the metal from which every police officer in this city is forged." He gives them a once over again. "Are we clear?" Seungcheol asks, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Seungcheol rounds the stand to where his papers are. "All of you can sit, except for Officer Kwon." He sizes Soonyoung up, folding his arms in front of him. "Normally, we would be doing the traditional introduction for new probationary officers but you," he takes a few steps towards Soonyoung, "are anything but traditional, Officer Kwon."

He clicks his tongue as Soonyoung places his arms behind his back in army stance. "So," Seungcheol continues, "I am giving you ten seconds to introduce yourself to the rest of the station before rumours start to spread like a wildfire."

Seungcheol signals for Soonyoung to turn around and face the rest of the station. You watch him take a shaky inhale. "I know that there's nothing that I can say in 10 seconds that will change everyone's opinions of me." He lets out a bitter chuckle as he shakes his head, looking at the floor. "Believe me, I've tried." He looks back up as he gives everyone a once over. "But I promise to always have your back and let my actions speak for themselves. And I promise to always strive to tip the scales towards justice." He locks eyes with you. "Because I know what it feels like when they're tipped the other way."

You feel Seokmin, Mingyu and Minghao all glance towards you, trying to gauge your reaction but you just continue to stare at your new rookie, who breaks eye contact as Seungcheol speaks. "And I want to make something very clear."

The whole room turns their attention back to Seungcheol. "Officer Kwon was found not guilty and he earned the right to be here like the rest of you." Seungcheol looks around the room. "He survived the academy, with phenomenal scores and I'd like to repeat," his eyes lock with yours, "that he has earned every right to be here."

You deadpan at the Sergeant, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as he turns to Junhui. "Now, Sergeant Wen shall lead us to our training officers favourite activity," he starts, moving to the side. "The 'Training Officer Match-Up'."

Jun takes the stand before looking at the rookies at the front. "Our contestants for this years matchup are," Jun raises his hand to address them one by one with a smile on his face, he eyes the first one. "Boo Seungkwan, who I am told is the newest military band recruit."

Boo Seungkwan whose hair was dyed a light brown, gives everyone a small wave as Jun eyes the next one. "Hansol Vernon Chwe, whose parents hoped that he would have the force on his side."

You roll your eyes at the dad joke as Seokmin giggles beside you. You watch Vernon rub the back of his neck, whether from second-hand embarrassment or just embarrassment from the attention, you didn't know.

"Baby face, Lee Chan, who is our youngest rookie in history." The baby face in question dons light brown hair and smiles a huge infectious smile that slightly cracks your neutral facade. Jun's eyes sweep to the next one, his gaze hardening. "And as you've heard, our idol-legacy, Kwon Soonyoung."

Jun clears his throat, clapping his hands together as he turns to face you, Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin. "And our winners are." His eyes flit downwards to his list. "Officer Lee, you get our newest choir boy."

Seokmin, buzzes with excitement making you glance at him, smiling softly. Being apart of the Military Band himself, you're sure that Seokmin and his rookie are going to get along very well.

"Officer Xu, you get our Star Wars fan." You glance at Minghao, a small smile on his face as he rolls his eyes at Jun's antics. "Officer Kim, you get our newest baby face." Mingyu shoots Chan a smile as you watch Soonyoung turn around and lock eyes with you. "Which leaves idol-legacy rookie Officer Kwon to ride with our very own legacy." Jun reads out your name from the list as you narrow your eyes at the rookie who gives you a small smile.

Seungcheol turns to address the rookies again. "Don't let today be your last. Forget the academy, listen to your TOs and you might just survive out there today."

You hear Minghao clear his throat beside you, no doubt holding back a smirk at the Sergeants' words as you shake your head at Seungcheol's antics. "Right, hop to it." Seungcheol claps his hands together. "Be safe out there."

Seokmin hops to his feet as he bids you and the rest goodbye, with promises to see you at lunch as he all but skips to meet his new rookie. The scene makes you laugh a little to yourself as you watch him animatedly introduce himself to Seungkwan before going to prepare their shop.

You stand up slowly with the other two, Mingyu stretching as he does, letting his back crack before shooting the two of you a toothy grin. "See you guys for lunch." He glances at you and Minghao, a cheeky smile on his face. "Don't make your rookies quit before lunch, I'd like to get to know them before you throw them into hell."

The two of you collectively roll your eyes as Minghao shoves Mingyu hard, making the taller man nearly collide into his own rookie. You immediately cover your mouth to muffle your giggles as Mingyu springs to apologize to the baby face while shooting your step-brother a sharp glare.

A small smirk plays on Minghaos lips as the two of you watch Mingyu and his rookie exit the briefing room. Minghao taps you on the shoulder, making you turn your attention to him as he levels with you. "Be safe." He starts sternly, glancing behind you, no doubt at your rookie, before looking back at you. "Call me if you anything happens, okay?"

Despite the nerves pricking at your skin, you jokingly roll your eyes as you mock a salute. "Will do, Sir!" Minghao rolls his eyes at your antics, shoving you softly before walking towards Vernon who's patiently waiting for him at the glass door of the briefing room. You watch them walk towards the logistics room before taking a deep breath and steeling your resolve as you turn to find Soonyoung standing right behind you.

"Ma'am." Soonyoung greets, a small smile on his face as you give him a once over, crossing your arms.

You internally sigh, this was going to be a long day. You briskly walk out of the room, not caring if he is behind you or not."

"You're kidding." Seokmin states in disbelief, a small frown on his face. You give him a blank stare as Minghao, Mingyu and him peer into the windowed briefing room. "Kwon Soonyoung? Like the murderer?!"

"Exonerated murderer." You state bitterly, Seungcheol's voice ringing in your head. "Choi was very clear about that fact when he told me about it."

The four of you stand outside the briefing room, leaning against the desks as you stare at the exonerated murderer in question, sitting at the front row, engaging with the other three rookies.

"He looks so…" Mingyu trails off, tilting his head as Minghao fixes him with an unamused look. "Normal?" Minghao asks with an eyebrow raised.

Mingyu shakes his head. "Small."

Seokmin scoffs at that. "You're a giant, everyone is smaller than you by default."

The two start to bicker but you tune them out as you stare at the blonde headed rookie, squinting and analyzing him as he laughs at something the rookie next to him says. Despite being slightly older than them, you can tell that they're close from the way that they were cracking jokes with each other. Soonyoung, however, is nervous. You can tell from the way he keeps tapping his fingers against the metal table, no doubt worried about how the day was going to turn out.

"Pixie." You turn to your right to see Minghao leaning against the desk next to you as Mingyu and Seokmin continued their bickering. "Are you alright?"

You open your mouth, ready to let out an easy white lie but hesitate when you see the concern in Minghao's eyes, making you sigh as you fold your arms. "Not really." You mutter, turning back to look at the rookie. "I don't know how Sarge is expecting me to ride out there with this guy having my back, Hyung. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen."

"I'm sure Sarge has a good reason for putting you with him, Pixie." Minghao gently says. "He probably knows that this is the one thing that will put you on the board for the Sergeants' Exam. A challenge that will put you a notch above the rest." Minghao nudges you, a teasing smile tugging on his lips. "And," he adds, "if he doesn't make it, you can always wash him out. You're the queen of doing that after all."

An awkward laugh bubbles out of your throat as you feel your heart sink, digesting Minghao's words. When the three had crowded you after your meeting with Seungcheol, you hadn't entirely divulged all the details from the meeting. You said that the brass just talked about the new rookie that you needed to shoulder and that it was the wrongfully incarcerated man sitting at the front row.

You couldn't bear to talk about the consequences of what would happen if Soonyoung washes out on your watch, just like you couldn't bear to tell the details of how Minghao was close to being in the same boat as you.

Minghao, ever the observant one, raised an eyebrow at that and asked why the meeting had taken so long if it was just about that. You, ever the adaptable one, replied that you had fought with Seungcheol for the rest of the time about the decision before he finally pulled rank on you.

Not entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either.

"Still." You say, doubts swirling in your head. "What if I can't make him a good officer, Hao?" Minghao shakes his head before grabbing your hand, squeezing it gently in his.

"Pixie, you will deal with it." Minghao reassures gently, squeezing your hand again. "You're one of the best training officers we have and you will teach this idol what it takes to be a police officer and whether he deserves to be here." He continues, his words fiercely imprinting themselves into your mind. "You're Nova for a reason."

The doubts clear slightly at Minghao's words, making you smile at your step-brother as you nudge him. "Best training officer huh?" You ask, a teasing edge in youe words that makes Minghao roll his eyes.

"I take back everything I said."

Your smile widens. "Too lateeee." You singsong out making Minghao scoff, shoving you lightly.

"Shut it Pixie." He says, a ghost of a smile on his lips as you continued to tease him endlessly.

"Four musketeers." A loud, strict voice drawls out, snapping the four of you out of your conversations. The four of you turn to see Seungcheol leaning against the frame of the briefing room door with his arms crossed. Your eyes widen slightly, when the hell did he get there?

His eyebrow raises as he scans the four of you. "Are you four waiting for an invitation for roll call?"

At his words, Mingyu pushes himself off of the table, a cheeky smile on his face. "Of course sir, a hand delivered invitation from you really shows that you care about the four of us."

Seungcheol rolls his eyes before clicking his tongue."How about an invitation to clean the drunk tank instead, Officer Kim?" A small smirk plays on his lips. "I heard they had some real pukers last night."

Mingyu's eyes widen before he clears his throat. "No sir."

Seungcheol raps his knuckles on the door before gesturing into the room. "Inside in 10 seconds. If you aren't," he turns, a sly glint in his eyes, "you can clean the drunk tank with your tongues."

The four of you immediately stand up straight and walk in through the back door, sitting at the second last row of the room as the rest of the officers and the rookies watch you. Your eyes slowly scan the four rookies before they land on your own, locking eyes with him. He gives you a small smile, nerves definitely creeping in as you narrow yours, keeping your face as neutral as possible. His smile drops as you break eye contact, crossing your arms as you turn to look at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol — the watch commander on duty — stands at the front with Jun at his side as his second in command. You glance at Jun who locks eyes with you, giving you a small smile and a wink that makes you bite back your own smile, rolling your eyes at his antics.

"Alright, looks like we got some new blood this morning." Seungcheol starts, giving a once over to the three younger rookies before looking straight at Soonyoung. "And some, pushing it a little bit."

He rounds the stand, "Stand up." The four rookies scramble to their feet. "After six months at the academy, you have earned the right to be here but you'll have to prove yourself to stay. The way we do things matter. Protocol and tradition are the metal from which every police officer in this city is forged." He gives them a once over again. "Are we clear?" Seungcheol asks, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Seungcheol rounds the stand to where his papers are. "All of you can sit, except for Officer Kwon." He sizes Soonyoung up, folding his arms in front of him. "Normally, we would be doing the traditional introduction for new probationary officers but you," he takes a few steps towards Soonyoung, "are anything but traditional, Officer Kwon."

He clicks his tongue as Soonyoung places his arms behind his back in army stance. "So," Seungcheol continues, "I am giving you ten seconds to introduce yourself to the rest of the station before rumours start to spread like a wildfire."

Seungcheol signals for Soonyoung to turn around and face the rest of the station. You watch him take a shaky inhale. "I know that there's nothing that I can say in 10 seconds that will change everyone's opinions of me." He lets out a bitter chuckle as he shakes his head, looking at the floor. "Believe me, I've tried." He looks back up as he gives everyone a once over. "But I promise to always have your back and let my actions speak for themselves. And I promise to always strive to tip the scales towards justice." He locks eyes with you. "Because I know what it feels like when they're tipped the other way."

You feel Seokmin, Mingyu and Minghao all glance towards you, trying to gauge your reaction but you just continue to stare at your new rookie, who breaks eye contact as Seungcheol speaks. "And I want to make something very clear."

The whole room turns their attention back to Seungcheol. "Officer Kwon was found not guilty and he earned the right to be here like the rest of you." Seungcheol looks around the room. "He survived the academy, with phenomenal scores and I'd like to repeat," his eyes lock with yours, "that he has earned every right to be here."

You deadpan at the Sergeant, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as he turns to Junhui. "Now, Sergeant Wen shall lead us to our training officers favourite activity," he starts, moving to the side. "The 'Training Officer Match-Up'."

Jun takes the stand before looking at the rookies at the front. "Our contestants for this years matchup are," Jun raises his hand to address them one by one with a smile on his face, he eyes the first one. "Boo Seungkwan, who I am told is the newest military band recruit."

Boo Seungkwan whose hair was dyed a light brown, gives everyone a small wave as Jun eyes the next one. "Hansol Vernon Chwe, whose parents hoped that he would have the force on his side."

You roll your eyes at the dad joke as Seokmin giggles beside you. You watch Vernon rub the back of his neck, whether from second-hand embarrassment or just embarrassment from the attention, you didn't know.

"Baby face, Lee Chan, who is our youngest rookie in history." The baby face in question dons light brown hair and smiles a huge infectious smile that slightly cracks your neutral facade. Jun's eyes sweep to the next one, his gaze hardening. "And as you've heard, our idol-legacy, Kwon Soonyoung."

Jun clears his throat, clapping his hands together as he turns to face you, Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin. "And our winners are." His eyes flit downwards to his list. "Officer Lee, you get our newest choir boy."

Seokmin, buzzes with excitement making you glance at him, smiling softly. Being apart of the Military Band himself, you're sure that Seokmin and his rookie are going to get along very well.

"Officer Xu, you get our Star Wars fan." You glance at Minghao, a small smile on his face as he rolls his eyes at Jun's antics. "Officer Kim, you get our newest baby face." Mingyu shoots Chan a smile as you watch Soonyoung turn around and lock eyes with you. "Which leaves idol-legacy rookie Officer Kwon to ride with our very own legacy." Jun reads out your name from the list as you narrow your eyes at the rookie who gives you a small smile.

Seungcheol turns to address the rookies again. "Don't let today be your last. Forget the academy, listen to your TOs and you might just survive out there today."

You hear Minghao clear his throat beside you, no doubt holding back a smirk at the Sergeants' words as you shake your head at Seungcheol's antics. "Right, hop to it." Seungcheol claps his hands together. "Be safe out there."

Seokmin hops to his feet as he bids you and the rest goodbye, with promises to see you at lunch as he all but skips to meet his new rookie. The scene makes you laugh a little to yourself as you watch him animatedly introduce himself to Seungkwan before going to prepare their shop.

You stand up slowly with the other two, Mingyu stretching as he does, letting his back crack before shooting the two of you a toothy grin. "See you guys for lunch." He glances at you and Minghao, a cheeky smile on his face. "Don't make your rookies quit before lunch, I'd like to get to know them before you throw them into hell."

The two of you collectively roll your eyes as Minghao shoves Mingyu hard, making the taller man nearly collide into his own rookie. You immediately cover your mouth to muffle your giggles as Mingyu springs to apologize to the baby face while shooting your step-brother a sharp glare.

A small smirk plays on Minghaos lips as the two of you watch Mingyu and his rookie exit the briefing room. Minghao taps you on the shoulder, making you turn your attention to him as he levels with you. "Be safe." He starts sternly, glancing behind you, no doubt at your rookie, before looking back at you. "Call me if you anything happens, okay?"

Despite the nerves pricking at your skin, you jokingly roll your eyes as you mock a salute. "Will do, Sir!" Minghao rolls his eyes at your antics, shoving you softly before walking towards Vernon who's patiently waiting for him at the glass door of the briefing room. You watch them walk towards the logistics room before taking a deep breath and steeling your resolve as you turn to find Soonyoung standing right behind you.

"Ma'am." Soonyoung greets, a small smile on his face as you give him a once over, crossing your arms.

You internally sigh, this was going to be a long day. You briskly walk out of the room, not caring if he is behind you or not."

Soonyoung blinks in surprise and scrambles to catch up with you, nearly tripping over his own two feet. "I've heard a lot about you Ma'am, from the academy!" Soonyoung chirps up as he tries to keep up with your pace. "You are a legend! It's so nice to meet you—"

You stop abruptly, nearly causing Soonyoung to slam into you as you turn to face him, a scowl on your face. You glance behind the two of you, before Soonyoung feels himself be pushed into the interrogation room to your right, slamming the door behind you.

"Sit." He hears you say, eerily cold making Soonyoung blink.

"Pardon?" Soonyoung says as he watches you roll your eyes at him.

"You deaf, Boot?" You spit out before pointing to the chair across the table. "Take a seat!"

Soonyoung scrambles to take a seat. He watches you pace slowly around the room, walking a round around him before you lean against the table.

"Alright, Riot," you start slowly, making Soonyoung shudder at the nickname. "I want to make something very clear to you."

Soonyoung nods slowly, listening to your words. "I would hold off on any sentiment that you have from meeting me, Officer Kwon. I am going to make today the hardest day of your career, hell, the hardest day of your life." You start as Soonyoung watches you steel your gaze and lean closer. "You have twenty extra seconds to tell me why you think you deserve to be a police officer and why I shouldn't just wash you out now for a past that you can't run away from."

Soonyoung feels his throat dry up at your words as his eyes widen. "Twenty?" He manages to sputter out. "With all due respect ma'am, twenty seconds seems too little for you to just cut me over."

He watches you roll your eyes, pushing yourself up as you fold your arms. "Twenty crimes and scandals collectively." He hears you state, making him freeze, his heart sinking in his chest. "Is the reason why I am giving you twenty seconds, Boot. And honestly, it's plenty more than I should give you considering your track record."

"Which I was found not guilty for." Soonyoung finds himself saying before he can stop himself, making you scoff.

"Which some of the public disagrees with." You state, unfolding your arms and leaning against the table once again. "It doesn't matter whether you won the case or not Boot. The fact of the matter is that you were accused of them in the first place. Even if it was wrong time, wrong place that you and your godforsaken lawyer claimed in court, this isn't court. You can't be going around arguing with everyone who finds that ruling false."

You lean in closer again, causing Soonyoung's eyes to narrow. "So, twenty seconds to explain to me why you deserve to be here, why you aren't a liability to this department and a threat to my safety." You snarkily say before lifting your right arm. "Your twenty seconds start now, Boot. And if I like your answer…" You trail off, pulling away to steely eye him again.

"You can be sure that I'm going to make these next 546 Days a living hell."

When Soonyoung hears the click of your watch, he panics. He sputters out words, trying to plead his case but you just watch him, an unamused expression on your face. He runs through a thousand and one words in his mind, trying to find the right words to say but his mouth runs before his brain catches up.

"Of all the things I've heard about the department's legend, a quitter wasn't one of them."

Soonyoung watches you freeze, your eyes narrowing as you glare at him. "Watch yourself, Boot." He hears you coldly say but he catches your voice wavering just slightly.

Soonyoung has always been really good at reading people. It was one of the skills required to be an adaptable idol and he always used it to his advantage. Whether it be doing fan service for the fans or just charming the upper management when he was still under contract — he always managed to see what others didn't want.

So, with a leap of faith, he sees the angle and runs with it.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath before composing himself and flits his gaze to lock eyes with you. "No, I don't think I will, Ma'am." He coolly says as he crosses his arms. "Everyone at the academy was saying how much of a legend you are, taking on even the weakest rookies and turning them into machines." He shrugs. "Sure, some of them wash out…" he leans forward, "But I never would've thought that the department legend, Nova, would rule a rookie out without even giving him a chance."

"Riot-" You warn but Soonyoung interrupts you, his adrenaline and mouth running before he even has a chance to think.

"Ma'am, you're not even giving me a chance to prove myself." He pointedly says. "We haven't even gone on the shift yet and you have me here," he emphasizes by gesturing around the room, "Holed up in the interrogation room because you would rather use whatever you heard about me instead of getting to know me."

"Officer Kwon." You start but he interrupts you again by chuckling bitterly.

"How is that even going to work in your report?" Soonyoung challenges, voice low. "How are you going to tell the brass that one of their top scoring academy students, despite all that he has been through, washes out on the first day because Academy Legend, Nova, didn't even bother to give him a chance?"

Pin drop silence rings in the interrogation room as your watch goes off, signaling that his twenty seconds are over. Soonyoung stands up, still holding your fiery gaze as he matches with one of his own.

"So," he starts, after catching his breath, "Am I out or what?"

He watches you with bated breath, an unreadable expression on your face — which scares him more than it should — before you break eye contact and slam your fist on the table, making him flinch slightly. as you mutter out a string of Cantonese and Chinese curses under your breath. He watches you run a hand down your face before you glare at him again. "You got one shift, Kwon." You spit out, rounding the table to stand in-front of him. "But make no mistake," you press a finger into his chest, "One wrong move and you can kiss this cop career goodbye."

He swallows, as you raise an eyebrow. "Are. We. Clear?" You bite out making him nod slowly.

"Crystal."

You stare at him for a couple more seconds before you take a step back. "Go set up our shop Riot."

Soonyoung gives you a brief nod before walking out of the room, closing the interrogation door behind him with a soft 'thud'. He leans against the wall and lets out a shaky exhale as his heart continues to thunder in his ears. He honestly couldn't believe that he just did that. He stood up to you and basically called you a quitter and somewhat of a coward to your face. To you, the cutthroat Medusa or Nova of the Academy.

"Good going, dipshit." He mutters to himself, pushing off the wall. He feels the pit in his stomach get deeper as he walks to the logistics room to get the gear. "This is going to be a long day."

REPORT 1 OF 546 - SNIPED THROUGH THE HEART

At the academy, they run a lot of simulations. For example a bank robbery, a hostage situation that is about to hit the fan, hell they even run you through a simulation of what happens when you get kidnapped.

But none of the simulations could ever prepare Soonyoung for the cold shoulder that you've given him since the interrogation room. You've barely said more than three sentences since leaving the station, the shops' air uncomfortable with awkward silence.

Soonyoung wants to apologize to you but he know that he can't do that by any means. He had said those things for a reason and he will not apologize for saying all those things if it means that you give him a chance.

Which is how he ends up in this situation at lunch.

"You said WHAT?" Soonyoung winces at Seungkwan's loud outburst as he recalls the morning to his fellow rookies, leaving Seungkwan baffled, Chan's jaw dropped open in shock and Vernon who looks dumbfounded at all the words that just came out of his mouth.

"Keep your voice down, Boo." Soonyoung hisses, glancing around to see a few of the officers side-eyeing the four of them. "Do you want me to get condemned even more?"

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. "You should for all the stupid words that have been coming out of your mouth. He sarcastically states, making Soonyoung shoot him a glare as Chan shakes his head in disbelief.

"I can't believe you actually had the balls to say that to her." Chan says, making Soonyoung groan, placing his head in his hands.

"I can." Vernon nonchalantly quips back, taking a sip of his soda, and making Soonyoung's head shoot up to glare at the man who just shrugs back at him.

"I'd be surprised if you actually make it through the day, Kwon." Seungkwan states, stabbing his fork into his salad bowl before shoveling the salad into his mouth.

Soonyoung slouches in his chair, his face full of disdain. "I'm fucked," he mutters out, glancing towards the three other rookies. "Aren't I?"

The three share a glance with each other, having a silent conversation which makes Soonyoung groan again. He had met the three on his first day at the academy, and despite knowing who he was and the fire he was under, they welcomed him with open arms, Chan jokingly stating that they would rather have him in their group to keep an eye on him. You know, keep your friends close but exonerated murderers closer.

Soonyoung lets out a surprised laugh at that while Seungkwan chastises the younger man for even thinking of making a joke like that as Vernon shakes his head, a small amused smirk on his face. He learned that the three were childhood friends, having grown up living on the same street as each other. There were times where Seungkwan and Vernon mentioned a fourth person being in their group but immediately shut their mouth about it whenever Chan was around.

Soonyoung, not wanting to pry, never asked about it because of the incident during their academy days where Seungkwan accidentally said their name and Chan immediately shut down for the rest of the week. Sure, Soonyoung would be lying if he said he wasn't even a little bit curious about what Chan's past was with that person, but he knew better than anyone else that some wounds and stories just aren't meant to be opened.

"Well, on the bright side," Chan starts, nudging him, "at least you managed to make it through the first half of the shift." He says a little chirpily, trying to lighten the mood as Vernon nods, giving Soonyoung a thumbs up as Seungkwan scoffs.

"Unless Medusa turns him to stone and eats him alive later." Seungkwan mutters out before letting out a yelp as Chan whacks him in the shoulder blade, a sign to keep quiet. Seungkwan levels him with a glare. "Why you little—"

The two start to bicker as a few officers glance over at the two to see what the commotion is about as Soonyoung and Vernon share a tired glance, not knowing whether to stop them or hide more into their rookie uniforms in embarrassment. Soonyoung glances towards you, sitting at the training officer table with the rest, an easy smile on your face that makes him frown slightly. He really needs a way to prove you wrong. And he needs to find it as soon as possible.

On the other side of the courtyard, as you're the talk of the rookie table, Soonyoung is the talk of yours. "So," Mingyu says, taking a seat opposite you with his tray as you're munching on your salad bowl. "Have you cut him yet?"

You roll your eyes. "Ha.Ha." You say sarcastically, stabbing a piece of lettuce."Very funny, Gyu."

Minghao takes the seat on your right while Seokmin sits to your left, giving you a small smile. "Judging from the fact that he's sitting with the rest of our rookies," Minghao starts, nodding towards the rookie table. "I take it he had a passable morning?" He asks, making you shrug your shoulders.

"I tried to give him the old fashioned Medusa talk and he didn't budge." You mutter out, moving the salad around in the bowl. "In fact, he has some balls, called me something of a coward for trying to cut him before he even makes it out for the shift."

The three go quiet, making you glance up from your food, looking at the three blinking at you, their eyes wide. You furrow your eyebrows. "What?" You ask pointedly, a little uneasy by the looks on their faces. Mingyu blinks. Once. Twice. "I'm shocked that you didn't throw him out of the shop as soon as you started your shift." Mingyu states, a little shell-shocked, making Seokmin nod.

"I'm surprised he didn't come back with any bodily injuries." Seokmin quips back making you snort in disbelief at the two taller men.

"Shut up you two." You mutter out as Soonyoung's words keep ringing in your mind as if they're on replay. You grimace slightly at the memory before glancing at said rookie at the table, happily eating his lunch which makes you grimace even more.

Minghao notices, glancing towards your rookie before locking eyes with you, his gaze fleeting all over you, calculating and analyzing. You raise an eyebrow at his look. "What?" You ask, making Minghao shrug.

"Nothing. It's just…" He trails off, as if unsure if he should say it or not. It makes you uneasy.

"Spit it out Hao."

He chews his bottom lip before relenting. "If he really doesn't have what it takes like you said, you would have already taken all the high risk calls this morning so that you could wash him out as fast as possible." Minghao steels his gaze on you, tilting his head slightly. "So, is there a reason why you haven't?" You gnaw on your bottom lip. You knew the reason why.

Firstly, it's the fact that Soonyoung is right, his scores are impeccable, there was no reason for you to want to wash him out as much as you really wanted to. He is the perfect rookie on paper, almost on par with you and Hao, but he was right, you didn't know him. Second, the more obvious reason is of course the more selfish one where you could lose your job if he washes out. But you couldn't tell Hao that, so you settled for something… in the middle.

"Honestly," You start, "I want him to realize for himself that he isn't cut out for this job." You wave your fork around. "I mean, we've all been through it as well, it was hard for us the first few months. The academy can only teach you so much, when we got out of there, we were like baby birds trying to figure out how to fly again."

The three go quiet, slowly digesting your words. You had been thinking about this since this morning. You've heard Seungcheol talk about it a few times, when rookies quit on their own terms, it doesn't go on your permanent record which means that the brass would be forced to give you another rookie. Any rookie would be better than this stuck-up idol-legacy and you're sure of it.

You take a deep breath. "So, I took it easy this morning to draw him into a false sense of security before we take all the high risk calls the rest of the shift." A semi-white lie.

"Damn," Mingyu whistles, breaking the silence. "That's a very Medusa of you, Nova."

Seokmin nods. "It a little scary how your brain works Nova." He shudders. "I'm so glad that I'm on your good side."

The tension breaks as Minghao shoots you a smirk and you laugh a little at Seokmin's words. "Shut up." You say, with no actual malice this time, a small smile making its way onto your face. "Eat your food losers before we're actually late for the next half of our shift."

The rest of the lunch is filled with easy banter as you and the rest of the guys joke around, conversations flowing easily before Seokmin glances at Mingyu's watch. "Well," He lifts Mingyu's arm up. "That's all folks!" He cheerily says with a wink, making you laugh as Mingyu rolls his eyes at Seokmin's antics. He pulls his arm away from Seokmin, shoving him slightly.

"Get your own watch you loser." Seokmin lets out an astounded gasp at Mingyu's shove and opens his mouth, ready to bicker when Minghao puts up a hand, stopping the two.

"Please," he deadpans, "don't start."

Mingyu and Seokmin share a glance with each other, before turning back to the mediator. "But he—" Seokmin starts but immediately shrinks back seeing Minghao's motherly glare, looking a little like a kicked puppy.

You shake your head at their antics before standing up, rolling your shoulders. "Right," You start before eyeing your brother. "Can you help me clear my trash? I got a rookie to straighten out."

Minghao stares at you for a moment before he begrudgingly nods, making you give him a smile and a back hug. "You're the best!"

He rolls his eyes but pats your arms nonetheless. "Yeah yeah," He drawls out. "You only say that when I do something for you."

You pull away. "Because you're the best when you help your baby sister do stuff."

"Step-sister." He corrects making you roll your eyes before you bid them goodbye.

You walk over to the rookie table, steeling yourself when the baby face meets your gaze and his eyes widen as you try not to smirk at the way he starts to lose his composure. You stop right behind Soonyoung's chair before kicking it lightly, making him jump before he turns and locks eyes with you. You gesture to the shop. "C'mon Boot." You snark out. "Crime ain't going to fight itself."

You walk backwards as Soonyoung's eyes widen before he scrambles to his feet, ready to follow you. You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms. "Leaving without clearing your trash, Riot?" He stills at that as he turns to face the table where his food wrappers still were. "Are you expecting your fellow rookies to clear up after you?"

"No, Ma'am." He mumbles, grabbing the food wrappers and tossing them into the nearby bin as you see his fellow rookies all share a look with each other. You roll your eyes as the blonde man made his way to you before the two of you stalk off to the shop together.

The three rookies watch as the two of you walk away, Soonyoung scrambling to catch up with your fast pace. For someone shorter than him, you sure are fast. After the amusing scene, Chan eyes Vernon and Seungkwan. "I bet you $100 that she's gonna try to make him quit before end of shift today."

Seungkwan rolls his eyes as he picks up his trash. "No duh." He sarcastically states, "That's basically free money for you. We should bet on something more interesting."

Chan frowns at that statement. "Like what?" Seungkwan shrugs, throwing his trash away.

"I bet you $500 that they're going to get together." Vernon states nonchalantly, clearing his tray before placing it above the trash can. Chan and Seungkwan freeze at the statement before looking at Vernon as if he had grown a second head. Vernon looks over the two before he frowns. "What?" He asks, curious about their expressions.

"Bro," Chan drawls. "Those two?"

Vernon shrugs. "I can see it happening."

Seungkwan shakes his head in disbelief. "I think she would rather die than date Kwon."

Vernon eyes the two before raising an eyebrow. "Then it's easy money for the two of you right?" He challenges making Chan and Seungkwan look at each other, as if calculating the risks.

Vernon lifts up his hand making Chan smirk, shrugging slightly. "Sure, I'm in." He grabs Vernon's hand, shaking it.

The two look towards Seungkwan who looks like he's still contemplating before he lets out a sigh, taking Vernon's hand. "Fuck it, I'm in."

Vernon grins at the two as Seungkwan rolls his eyes again. "Don't look so happy," Seungkwan quips, starting to walk to where his training officer was with Chan by his side. "You're going to be down a thousand dollars by the end of this."

Vernon shrugs his shoulders, trailing after him before glancing at the two of you again. Soonyoung clumsily stalking after you as you try not to roll your eyes as he almost trips over air. He smiles a little to himself. "We'll see."

The shop is quiet again, the awkward silence unbearable as you drive around. You keep feeling Soonyoung's stares and glances drill into the side of your head. At first you could avoid it, focusing on the road ahead, but it didn't take long before it began to annoy you.

"If you have something to say, Boot." You say, shocking Soonyoung as your voice pierces through the silence. "Spit it out."

You see Soonyoung pull his bottom lip between his teeth from the corner of your eye as he gnaws on it before sighing. "I- I," his voice cracks slightly, no doubt from his nerves as he clears his throat. "I just wanted to thank you for giving me a chance, Ma'am. I promise you that I won't let you down."

His words make you glance at him and upon noticing the hope sparkling in his eyes, you sigh. "Like I said earlier, Officer Kwon," Your tone hard, "I would hold off on any sentiment. We had a slow start to our shift which means you still have the whole other half of it to make mistakes, so don't make promises that you can't keep." You raise an eyebrow and lock eyes with him through the rear view mirror. "Understood?"

Soonyoung visibly swallows, giving you a curt nod before he proceeds to stare out the window, taking note of the street signs.

The two of you continue to drive before you hear a gunshot, making Soonyoung flinch as your gaze hardens. "Kwon, radio it-" You stop as you watch the car in front of you swerve to the side before crashing into a lamppost making your eyes widen as you quickly pull over to the side, unbuckling and hopping out of the car in record speed as Soonyoung does the same.

You and Soonyoung pull out your guns as you round to the drivers seat and your heart drops. You see a male in his late forties, three gunshot wounds to the chest as the blood begins to seep into his shirt. You turn towards the windscreen, eyes narrowing as you notice the three shots bunched up together. You internally curse, pulling out your radio and looking at the high rise buildings. "Control, 7-Adam-21," You scan the high rise buildings. "We got an active sniper with a long gun at the 45 Bronco Avenue. Requesting backup and patch me through to 7-Adam-100."

"Copy." You hear dispatch state before there was static and Seungcheols voice patches through.

"Nova? What's going on?"

"Sir, we have an active sniper at the 45 Bronco Avenue." You repeat, actively scanning the buildings. "Requesting for you to shut down all eastbound traffic from Main and have Vanguard on stand-by, just in case."

"Copy." You blink in surprise as Jun's voice patches through. "Vanguard will secure the perimeter. Stay safe, Nova."

"Copy." You state, a small smile on your face at Jun's concern before Seungcheol's voice patches through again.

"Nova, Kim and Xu are on their way to your location, one minute out. Wen, I've sent Lee and his rookie to meet up with you to secure the perimeter."

"Copy Sarge." Jun says. "Nova, you and your rookie secure the scene, do not go after the shooter before backup arrives."

"Noted." You state before you address the crowd that had gathered in a panic. "Get off the street! We have an active shooter!" Your heartbeat thuds in your ear, pounding as you feel your blood pulse before you whip around to address Soonyoung. "Kwon-" You pause, noticing Soonyoung staring at the body, his face pale. You frown, "Kwon?"

He doesn't hear you, continuing to stare at the body, his chest pulsing faster and faster. Your eyes widen, realizing what was going on before you round the front of the vehicle to his side. "Kwon." You sternly say, reaching over and turning him around by his shoulders as he starts to hyperventilate. You force him to sit down, his body wrecking with uneven breathing as you gaze all over his face, your mind racing. "Breathe, Kwon! Deep breaths." You chastise, watching as his eyes unevenly focus everywhere except you, like you weren't even there in front of him.

You gnaw on your bottom lip before your ears perk up, hearing sirens behind you. You turn around, noticing Minghao and Mingyu step out of their respective shops. They jog over to you, faces serious with their rookies right behind.

"What have you got?" Minghao asks.

You stand up, blocking their view of Soonyoung. "We got a shooter, sniper from what I can tell from the bunched up shots through the windshield." You nudge your thumb towards it, your words urgent. "I've notified Sarge already, he's shutting down all traffic from Main and Vanguard is securing the perimeter with Seokmin and his rookie." You glance downwards at your rookie who is still in his head before looking towards your two fellow training officers. "We've lost about five minutes on the target but judging from the shots, I'd say they were at either of the Northwest buildings over there from the traffic flow." You gesture towards the buildings.

Chan and Vernon who were behind their TOs notice Soonyoung, their eyes wide as they start to walk towards him. You hold up a hand, stopping them in their tracks, a sharp gaze in your eyes. "I'll deal with him." You sternly say before turning back to Mingyu and Minghao. "I'll get him out of this rut and I'll secure the scene, we're already loosing precious time, go after the sniper."

Mingyu and Minghao share a glance before looking back at you, nodding curtly. They take off down the street, pulling out their guns. "C'mon, Chwe." Minghao calls out, making the rookie give one last glance to Soonyoung before jogging after his TO and clearing the streets. Chan however, ignores his TO's calls and continues to stare at Soonyoung, frozen to the spot even as Mingyu runs further away.

"Officer Lee." You call out to him, making his head snap to you, meeting your stern gaze. "I will deal with him. Follow after your training officer." You watch him swallow, opening his mouth to protest but you stop him. "If you don't, I will personally see to it that your TO writes you a blue page for not following orders." He pales a little at that which makes your gaze soften slightly, as you let out a small sigh.

"I will take care of him." You reassure, your voice still carrying the stern edge. "I promise."

He looks between you and his friend again before nodding and chasing after his training officer. You sigh, crouching back down to your rookie. You call out to him a few times before realizing that you need to shock him out of this anxiety driven state. Taking a deep breath, you slam your hands down hard onto his shoulders, startling him as you almost snap him out of it. He immediately locks eyes with you.

"Kwon." You sternly breathe out, looking directly into his eyes as his breathing is still uneven. "I need you with me." You mutter sternly, trying to get through to him. "I know it's a shocking discovery seeing a dead body but, I need you to focus on me and get through it."

He stares at you, his eyes still glassy as his breathing still doesn't stabilize. You gnaw on your bottom lip, mind racing before taking a deep breath and changing tactics.

You aren't sure if tough love would work, but you needed it to because there was a shooter at large while you're here trying to get your older rookie to get the hell back onto his feet. You level with him again.

"Officer Kwon." You spit out, shocking the rookie. "I need you to get the fuck back up on your feet." He stares at you, his breathing starting to even out due to your harsh words, colour returning to his face. You continue to get him to focus on you, coaxing him with hard words before the glaze in his eyes fade as colour fully returns to his face.

"Okay?" You ask. He shakily nods which makes you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You give him a once over before moving him to the opposite side of the street as he starts to regain his senses. You grab a bottle of water from the shop and hand it to him, not bothering to look at him before securing the scene. You don't know how long you spent trying to get Soonyoung out of his episode before navigating the scene, but Seungcheol appears as supervisor on scene.

"Nova." He greets before looking around you, his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns. "Where's your rookie?" You grimace, gesturing to the opposite end of the street where Soonyoung is, clutching the water bottle as if it's his lifeline.

Seungcheol follows your gaze before his frown deepens. "Did he puke?"

You shake your head. "Panic attack." You simply state, crossing your arms as you both stare at your rookie. "Seeing the bullet holes and the body seems to have brought up some… unpleasant memories." You give Seungcheol a condescending look. "Almost as if he shouldn't be a cop."

Seungcheol rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Luckily," he starts, a smirk pulling at his lips. "He has the best TO in the business to get him through this." You roll your eyes, ready to retort when Mingyu and Minghao jog up to the two of you, their faces grim. You watch as their two rookies immediately break away from them and jog towards your rookie before you focus on the two other TOs, your heart dropping at their expressions.

"You didn't get them did you?" The two shake their heads, matching frowns on their faces as you let out a small groan.

"Fucker got away on a zip-line before we managed to get a read on them." Mingyu bitterly states, slowly catching his breath. "We also didn't get a good look at him before he jumped off the building via zipline." Mingyu pulls out his city-issued phone, a picture of the scene on it.

You and Seungcheol lean closer, examining the picture. "Looks like the guy has elite training." You note making Minghao nod grimly.

"Mingyu and I accessed the scene after he jumped out and it looks like it was pre-planned, Sarge. The pegs in the walls to hold the zip-line look like they were hammered in, a day or two ago."

Seungcheol's eyebrows raise before fixing his gaze on Mingyu. "I'm surprised you didn't jump out after him, Kim."

You let out a snort as Mingyu blinks, a little stunned by Seungcheol's statement before scoffing. "Well, I was halfway out the window when Xu pulled me back, sir." He sarcastically states making Seungcheol roll his eyes, a ghost of a smirk tugging on the sides of his lips.

Minghao, who was examining the body and the scene, chews on his bottom lip before calling out to Seungcheol. "Sarge. We're definitely looking for a professional here."

Seungcheol's eyebrow raises. "What makes you say that?"

Minghao points towards the windscreen. "Moving car and still manages to hit their target dead center in the chest?" Minghao shakes his head. "I can think of maybe a couple dozen professionals who can do that." Seungcheol absorbs Minghao's words and nods.

"Well, at least that narrows the search down to a couple dozen people." Seungcheol says as your phone buzzes, you bring it out, scanning the report.

"Our victims name is Viktor Park." You begin to read. "He was an accountant working for ANB Funds and Savings before he quit his job. Database says that he was cited on about a dozen different laundering cases but never caught."

Seungcheol grimaces at that, "Sounds like we're looking for a gun for hire then." You glance back towards the car as you try to piece everything together while Minghao speaks up, almost as if he was reading your mind as he goes through the process bit by bit.

"So," Minghao clicks his tongue. "Viktor is a man of routine and judging from his car and the amount of papers that had fallen out of his briefcase," He gestures to the scattered papers at the backseat. "It looks like he was going to work. If he is a man of routine, it means that he drives down this street everyday because our shooter was just waiting for him to turn up."

Mingyu nods at Minghao's words. "So, maybe the person Viktor was working with needed him dead because they were scared that Viktor was going to leak information about the job?"

Seungcheol nods slowly. "Maybe." He states. "But we need to look at the facts and investigate." He runs a hand down his face. "Just our luck that we're down our detectives today because one's out sick and the other is dealing with the overrun cases in homicide."

You glance at Seungcheol before looking at Minghao and clearing your throat. "Well, Minghao has been studying to take the detectives exam in two weeks." You state, making the three men turn to you. Minghao blinks, shooting you a panicked, 'what are you doing' look. The action makes you shoot him a reassuring wink before continuing. "You could give him your all-powerful speech and make him detective just for the case." You lock eyes with Seungcheol, giving him a cheeky look before lifting a finger. "Plus," You add. "It's good on the job learning experience."

You watch as the gears turn in Seungcheol's head before he nods, turning to Minghao, who looks like he's trying very hard to decide if he wanted to murder you or thank you. "By the power vested in me— come here." He gestures for Minghao to take a step forward, making you and Mingyu stifle your giggles at how Minghao stiffly steps forward. "By the power vested in me by the LAPD, I hereby declare you Detective for the case." Seungcheol says, knighting Minghao. "With great power comes great responsibility."

You let out a snort at the famous quote, quickly covering your mouth as Minghao looks like he's about to puke from the immense pressure. Seungcheol claps a hand onto Minghao's shoulder. "You'll be fine, Xu." He says reassuringly. "Now, I'm assigning Nova and Kim to you as well because it looks like you need the extra set of hands." Seungcheol raises an eyebrow. "Understood?"

Minghao visibly swallows before shallowly nodding, his still slightly pale face making Seungcheol smile and walk off to go relieve Jun and Seokmin from the perimeter. As soon as Seungcheol is out of earshot, Minghao turns towards you and Mingyu who had matching smiles on your faces. "I hate you." Minghao deadpans, making your eyes roll.

"No you don't." You quip back, making Minghao shake his head.

"I'm not ready for such a big responsibility, Pixie!" He exclaims nervously, making you soften, seeing your older brother in distress, actually believing that he wasn't ready for this.

"Hao," You gently start, grabbing your brothers hand in yours. "You analyzed the scene and connected the dots in half the time that I did, even though I was the one who secured the scene." You give his hand a quick squeeze, a small smile on your face. "You're the best one to take the task out of the four of us."

Minghao looks at you, gnawing at his bottom lip before glancing at Mingyu who gives him a reassuring smile, swinging an arm around his shoulders. "She's right." Mingyu simply assures, "You've also been studying for this exam for like ever!" He exaggerates, waving his other arm animatedly, making you giggle at his antics as a small smile ghosts over Minghao's lips. "Having this hands-on experience might make it a whole lot easier to digest the information and further prepare you for the exam."

Minghao digests both of your words, glancing between the two of you before letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, visibly relaxing. "You're right." He says, his nerves steeling. "Let's get started then."

You grin widely at your older step-brother who has a look full of determination, "That's the spirit!" You hum out, letting go of his hand. "Alright, Detective Xu." You tease, making Mingyu laugh as Minghao shakes his head at your antics. "Where shall we start?"

Minghao thinks for a beat. "Well, first we need to secure all evidence in the car, his briefcase, phone, wallet as well as the papers are all evidence for the case." He glances towards Mingyu, "Can you and your rookie help to further secure the scene? I'll get dispatch to send forensics to relieve you guys later."

Mingyu takes a quick glance at you before nodding. "On it." He says before calling out to his rookie. Chan scrambles up, shooting Soonyoung one last look before he scurries over to Mingyu as they start to secure the scene and bag evidence.

"How come you didn't want me to further secure the scene?" You ask, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Minghao's gaze shifts to you before glancing towards where your rookie and his sit, making you frown as the information clicks in your head. "Right." You mutter as Minghao gives you a sympathetic look.

"As much as I want you here with me, working the scene," He chews his bottom lip slightly. "It seems as though your rookie needs to work through a couple of things before he can be allowed onto any homicide scene."

"So, you don't need me?" You ask him, voice small, making him shake his head 'no'.

"I need you and your boot to check with control and ask them to form a list of the couple dozen that could've done this to our victim. See what you can dig up on them before we knock on doors." His eyes darken as he grimaces. "Our hitman already murdered in broad daylight. I'd hate to see what would happen if we didn't have any backup." You nod slowly as Minghao locks eyes with you, his eyes softening. "There's no one else I trust with this job, Pixie." He assures, his voice gentle. "You're my number one. I'll always need you, okay?"

His assurance brings a small smile to your face as you nod in understanding. He pats your head once. "Let's get to work then." He says before looking towards the pavement where both your rookies sit, in silence it looks like. You gnaw on your bottom lip as Minghao calls Vernon over, making the rookie give Minghao a curt nod. He gives Soonyoung a solid pat on the back before he stands up and jogs over to his TO, a tense expression on his face. Minghao shoots you a look before going back to the scene as you heave out a sigh.

You walk over to your rookie, whose colour had returned to his face, and stand before him. "C'mon." You mutter, turning on your heel and walking back to the shop, pulling out your walkie in the process. "Control, I need a list of retired Army Personnel that have a registered long gun to their name."

"Copy, will be sent to your box upon completion."

As dispatch clicks off, you slip into the front seat as Soonyoung slips into shotgun, not meeting your gaze as he clears his throat.

"Ma'am, I—"

You hold up your hand, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath before opening them. "Save it, Kwon." You mutter out bitterly, shooting him a look of disbelief. "All this time when you were training to become a cop, it never occurred to you that you might need to walk into a murder scene?"

Soonyoung gnaws on his bottom lip, hesitating a little before answering. "I thought I was better. I haven't had a panic attack since my fifth session of therapy which was almost a year ago." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I guess seeing this in person again was just a little more overwhelming than I thought it would be."

You raise an eyebrow at that. "Just a little?" You pointedly ask which makes him heave a sigh again.

"But this is good," Soonyoung starts, "I found another trigger and I'll continue to work through it to become a better version of myself."

You shake your head at that, chuckling to yourself in disbelief. "This isn't a therapy session, Riot." You bitter state, as you try not to burst out in anger. "This is people's lives we're talking about. What happens when we're out on the street and you have a panic attack because there's someone else lying in a pool of blood while we're in the middle of a shoot out?" You ask, getting angrier by the second as Soonyoung watches you with wide eyes. "What happens then, Officer Kwon?" You hiss out as you jab a finger into his chest, your fiery gaze hard on him. "Will you just leaving me hanging on the edge of death because you can't work through your issues? Or will you die in the line of duty because you were paralyzed?"

Silence envelops the shop at that, your chest heaving as you catch your breath from spitting out the words laced with venom, causing Soonyoung to pale even more under your stare. You take a deep breath before removing your finger pressed against his chest as you lean back into your seat. "Work through your issues on your own time, Riot." You bitterly bite out, taking the shop out of park. "If not, we're going to have a serious problem."

For the next two and a half hours, you and Soonyoung work together in silence, researching and documenting the information that Minghao needed before you and the rest could go knocking on doors. A knock on the briefing room door interrupts your silence. You peer up to see Minghao standing there, leaning against the doorframe. "How's everything?" He asks, making you shrug.

"No complaints here." You say a little curtly making Minghao's eyebrow raise, sensing your tone. He doesn't push though, not that you expect him to. He was always professional in front of your rookies, but you know that as soon as you guys get home today, he will definitely annoy you till you tell him what it was about.

You silently grimace at the thought before pushing it away. Minghao looks at the whiteboard you and Soonyoung set up with the information for the case, scanning it with a slight bit of pride in his eyes. "Ready to call in the team?" He asks, making you nod.

"Let's do it."

Less than twenty minutes later, you are seated on top of the briefing room tables (much to Minghao's distaste) in between Mingyu and Seokmin as your rookies sit on top of the tables, a few rows behind you with a couple dozen officers in between the rows. Minghao stands at the front with Vernon seated at a table by the whiteboard, while Seungcheol and Jun scan the whiteboard you and Soonyoung had filled in. Seungcheol turns to look at you. "Alright, Nova, walk us through it." You give him a curt nod before standing up and ushering for Soonyoung to hand out the hard copy prints.

"On your hardcopy list, you will find one of the dozen targets that Officer Kwon and I have accessed using the records to figure out which one could be our sniper. It's shorter than our list from this morning but an even dozen is still a lot." You pick up a laser pointer from the side of the whiteboard before continuing, shining on the map shown at the side. "Officer Xu will be splitting you guys into four respective groups and each group will be dealing with a section of the map that Officer Kwon and I have narrowed down. We have reason to believe that our suspect is still armed and he isn't afraid of us, so thread carefully and never leave each other without backup."

You glance at Minghao, who gives you a curt nod before taking over as you go back to your seat. "Nova and her rookie have pulled their last known addresses from the database, their respective military missions where they served as well as any priors they may have had since being discharged from the army." Minghao grabs a list from the table before glancing around the room. "I'll be splitting you into your respective sections now so listen up."

He goes down the list, grouping people together until he reaches the last section. "Lastly, in Section D, we have Officer Kim, Officer Lee and Nova, with their rookies respectively." He says, glancing over at you and the two tall training officers. The three of you nod your head before Minghao addresses the room again.

"Sergeant Wen and his Vanguard unit will be securing a perimeter, if any of us need any help or our suspects try to run. Sergeant Choi and I will be stationed in the middle of the perimeter in a stakeout van just in case anything goes wrong." He takes a deep breath before raising an eyebrow. "Any questions?" The room was silent as Minghao scans the faces before clapping his hand. "Alright, let's get to it."

The room clears out, the different sections trailing out as Minghao turns to the three of you. "Would you like Officer Chwe as additional backup?"

You share a glance with the other two, calculating. "I guess it wouldn't hurt…" Seokmin starts as Mingyu raises an eyebrow.

"Will Choi allow you to just pass us your rookie?"

Minghao shrugs at Mingyu's question. "From Nova's list, it seems that your section has more of the dangerous targets. I don't think he would mind if I sent Chwe with you as an extra set of hands, plus," he glances towards his rookie who is still seated with the three of yours. "He won't learn a lot from me just sitting in the stake out van."

Minghao turns his attention back to the three of you. "So, what do you say?"

You quickly glance at Mingyu and Seokmin before nodding. "Sure, wouldn't hurt, just check with Sarge to see if that's okay, though." You stand up from the desk, stretching slightly. "Right, we're going to set up the shops, you should go ask Sarge now."

Minghao gives you guys a nod, turning to go find Seungcheol before Seokmin and Mingyu turn their gazes to you with a look on their face. You raise an eyebrow at both of them. "What?" You ask, getting a little uneasy at their hard stares.

"Are you sure about bringing your rookie with you after what happened today?" Seokmin carefully asks, making you blink at him in disbelief.

"Who told you?" You ask, pointedly as Mingyu looks away, a little sheepishly as the tip of his ears turned slightly pink.

Seokmin clears his throat as you shoot Mingyu a glare. "That's not the point, Nova." Seokmin says, turning you away from Mingyu and locks eyes with you, concern sparkling in them. "If you want to leave Kwon here because you feel like he isn't ready, I'm sure Sarge will understand that and let him work the front desk. Then you can take Chwe as your backup."

You stare at Seokmin, gnawing on your bottom lip as you consider his words. He is right. After the incident this afternoon, you have no reason to let Soonyoung out onto the street. Minghao probably wanted to assign Vernon under you for that exact reason — to look out for you and your rookie. You turn to look at Soonyoung who is seated with his back turned to you as he chats with the other three rookies. He smiles, almost adoringly as Chan and Seungkwan animatedly argue with each other about something as Vernon sits there, shaking his head in embarrassment.

You look at him for a beat too long before turning back to meet Seokmin's gaze. "I can't take the easy way out to train him, Sunshine." You say softly, your gaze hardening with determination. "I also can't spoonfeed him and just let him stay at the desk because it's going to get hard and he can't handle it." You shake your head. "That's not my style and that's not the training officer he needs. So," You take a breath before plastering on a determined smile, "I say he's going onto the field."

Seokmin stares at you, worry etched into his features as he glances over at Mingyu, who has a similar expression on his face. The two of them have a silence conversation before Seokmin sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Alright," he relents, shaking his head. "But you are to stay with me and Boo at your 8 and 9 O'clock at any given time." He raises an eyebrow, "Understood?"

You roll your eyes at his words. "What am I? Five?" You quip back, folding your arms. "I don't need babysitting."

Seokmin sighs at your stubbornness as Mingyu speaks up. "Your brother—"

"Step-brother." You interrupt, making him roll his eyes as he breezes past your comment.

"—has asked Seok and I to keep an eye on you and your rook out in the field. I know that you can handle yourself, Nova, but this assignment can go south at any moment. So, if anything happens, I don't want you playing 'Hero' with a backup who couldn't even handle it when he saw a dead body this morning."

Seokmin nods as he levels you with a sympathetic expression. "We're just looking out for you, Nova, just like you would look out for us." A small smile appears on his lips. "Plus, we can't have four musketeer movie night if we're missing a musketeer."

You let out a breath of a laugh making Seokmin smile wider before he grabs your hands, his expression softening to one of concern. "Just promise us, please?"

You glance between the two older men before sighing and nodding your head. "Fine," you mumble, "I promise."

Seokmin nods, satisfied with your promise, giving your hands a squeeze before Minghao walks back into the meeting room. "Rolling out in five!" He announces, clicking his tongue. "And Sarge gave the all clear for Chwe to join the three of you."

Seokmin gives him a nod. "He can ride with me then."

Minghao nods, thankful for Seokmin's initiative before calling out to Vernon. "You'll be riding with Officer Lee and his boot," Minghao says sternly. "Watch their six and don't do anything stupid." He warns, his gaze hard on Vernon who swallows nervously and nods. "Yes, Sir."

Minghao locks eyes with both Mingyu and Seokmin as they silently chat, making Seokmin hop out of his seat. "Right, let's go grab extra gear." He says to Mingyu, the taller man nodding as they call out to their rookies plus Vernon, before heading out of the glass briefing room.

Soonyoung makes his way to you when Minghao held up his hand, freezing Soonyoung in place. "I need a chat with your TO, Kwon."

Soonyoung pauses at that as you internally sigh, turning to look at your rookie. "Follow Officer Lee and Officer Kim, they will brief you on how to set up our shop properly." Soonyoung takes once last glance between you and Minghao before nodding. "Yes, Ma'am."

He jogs out of the room to catch up with the others, making you turn back to your step-brother who is already fixing you with a look that you're all too familiar with. "I'll be fine." You assure him before he can say anything as you roll your eyes. "God, you guys are acting like I haven't been doing this for like, ever."

Minghao rolls his eyes at your words. "I haven't even said anything, Pixie."

You scoff, folding your arms. "You didn't have to, Hao." You shoot back, raising an eyebrow at him. "Telling Seok and Gyu to look after me? C'mon, Hao, I thought you knew that I was better at discerning these things for myself."

"Of course I know that you can discern these things for yourself, Nova," He says. "Doesn't change the fact that you have a wildcard for a rookie, who has some trauma despite his amazing numbers, and that I'm not on the field to have your back today." He factually states, shaking his head. "Plus, you also tend to let your ego get the better of you in situations like this." Your gaze slightly hardens at his words as you feel a slight thud in your chest, his words piercing you like a knife.

He shakes his head, noticing the change in your expression. "It's not a bad thing, Nova, it happens to the best of us when we think we can handle something that we can't control." He sighs, his voice dropping lower. "It's happened to all of us, you can attest to that, you were there." He runs a hand through his hair. "I just need you to push your Nova-persona to the side for a second and question whether this is actually the right move, please."

Hearing his voice crack and the pleading tone laced in his words, makes your anger dissipate slightly. You know that he means well and he has a point. However, it doesn't change the fact that he thinks that your ego is clouding your judgment, though. You take a slow inhale, composing yourself and clearing your head before fixing your eyes on your older brother. "Hao, I'll be fine. Like I said, this isn't my first rodeo." You say, as gently as you could while still being serious. "As for Kwon, I'll handle it if things go wrong. I just need you to trust me, please."

Minghao stares at you for a few seconds before sighing out in exasperation. "Fine," He says, giving in, "But radio me the second something goes wrong." He fixes you with another hard gaze. "I don't care if someone else needs my help, I'll go to your section myself."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at your older brothers words. You don't have enough time to get into another argument with him about how he is just supervising. So instead, you bite your tongue and (just) nod. "Got it."

Minghao's eyes soften at your tense tone as he lets out a soft exhale. "Be safe." He says softly, his older brother persona shining through as he gives your hand a quick squeeze, before leaving the briefing room. You let out an uneasy exhale of a breath as everyone's words swarm in your mind.

You run through them for a few seconds, letting your guard down as everyone's worries highlight in your mind. You know it's risky, but you're Nova, if you didn't have that, you didn't have anything. You shake your head, slapping your cheeks a little. "Focus." You softly scold yourself. With a deep breath, you jog out of the room to meet up with Soonyoung who is already seated in shotgun. You slide into the shop, fastening your seatbelt as quickly as you can while Minghao calls for roll out, making you shift into drive.

"What did Officer Xu want?" Soonyoung ask, making you click your tongue. "Nothing that you should be concerned with." You answer briefly and curtly before casting a stern glance his way. "What you should be concerned with is whether you're ready to handle things later if shit hits the fan."

Soonyoung is silent as you fix him with a look as soon as you reach a red light. "Are you going to break down on me again?"

"No, Ma'am." He answers fast, almost a little too fast despite not sounding so sure of himself.

You nod, "Good." You focus your eyes on the road again, "Let's do this."

"Third house is clear." Mingyu says through the walkie which makes you signal to Soonyoung to cross the name off of the list. "Neighbours said that the family went on vacation to the Maldives on Monday and they'll be back next week."

"Must be nice having government pension money to bring your family to Maldives." You say into the radio earning a laugh from Seokmin and a scoff from Mingyu.

"Well, after doing around four tours for them, I bet you he got a raise in between." Mingyu states, making you smirk and shake your head at the small skit you guys are doing, looking over at Soonyoung.

"Who's next?"

He runs his finger down the list, landing on the fourth name. "Liam James," He reads out. "Lives just two streets from here. He did two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan before becoming a private contractor."

"To be honest, that just sounds like a fancy way of saying he became a hitman." Mingyu says over the radio making you snort.

"Let my rookie finish, please, Officer Kim."

"Sorry, sorry."

You gesture for Soonyoung to continue. "Some domestic priors with an ex-wife while he was still in the army but nothing since." You nod. "Kwon and I will take first point this time."

Seokmin and Mingyu chirp a 'copy' over the radio as you shift the gear into drive and head two streets down, with them keeping watch at the edge of the street. You reach the house, giving it a once over before turning to Soonyoung. "Alright, what's the game plan, Boot?"

"We knock on the door and see if he's home."

You raise an eyebrow. "And if he isn't?"

Soonyoung's eyes flit between you and the house. "Then we look for probable cause. If we find one — like a gun for example, we radio it in to Officer Lee and Officer Kim."

You nod. "Good, let's go."

The two of you hop out of the shop, walking towards the front door of the house. It looks almost like a summer home, white fresh paint on the walls, white picket fence as well as a blue roof. It looks exactly like one of the houses that a seasoned veteran would spend their money on. You gesture towards the door. "Go on." Soonyoung nods and clears his throat before giving the door three firm knocks on the door.

"Liam James?" Soonyoung shouts towards the door. "LAPD, we have a few questions to ask you." The door opens and a tall man in his 40s appears, dressed in denim jeans, a plaid shirt with a bomber jacket on. He looks shiftily between to the two of you.

"What do you want?" He asks gruffly.

"LAPD, sir," Soonyoung starts, flashing his badge. "We'd just like to ask, where you were this morning around 11am?"

The older man looks between the two of you before huffing out a chuckle, making you raise an eyebrow. "That's an ominous question." Liam says, glancing suspiciously between the two of you as a wary smile appears on his face. "Why'd you need to know?"

"There was a sniper shooting this morning." You simply say, making Liam click his tongue in recognition.

"Ah, yeah, heard that on the 1pm news just now and because of my background, you guys came to see me." You nod, noticing him shift on his feet, a nervous tick that you silently take note of as he looks directly at your rookie.

"Your question actually has some irony to it because I was at the gun club just a few blocks from there."

Soonyoungs' eyes flit to you for a second, looking back at the suspicious man as you plaster on a small smile. "Lucky us then," You reply, your tone even. "Got any proof of that, Sir?"

Liam nods. "I think I have a receipt for some ammo and a new gun that I bought. Let me go in and get it."

You nod, stepping forward slightly, "Mind if we step inside, sir?" You say, your voice feigning cheerily. "It's really hot out today and we've been looking for this guy since this morning."

He looks between the two of you, his face unreadable. "I do actually," Liam says, closing the door a few more centimeters to prevent you from peering inside. "But, I'll be out in a second." He gives you one last smile before disappearing and closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door closes, Soonyoung whips around to you, his eyes wide. "I'm getting a vibe."

"Good," You curtly reply, your eyes narrowing at the door. "At least your instincts are working." His eye twitches a little, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at your tone and sarcasm. "His alibi is pretty solid though." You hum out, peering into his living room through the side windows.

Soonyoung nods at your words as he follows your gaze, scanning the living room with you. "Gives him a reason to be in the vicinity but his vibe is really off." You hum at his words, the gears in your head turning as you pull out your walkie talkie. "Officer Kim? Officer Lee?" You say into the walkie.

There was some static but all you were met with was silence, making you frown, "Gyu? Seok?" Still no reply.

"Er, Ma'am?" Soonyoung calls out to you, making you look over at him, your walkie talkie still in hand. Soonyoung peers into the house through the translucent and semi-opaque windows before pulling out his gun. You watch, your eyebrows furrowing before he gestures for you to look inside. Turning to where he gestured, you see a rifle propped up against the cabinet near the front door, making your eyes widen.

"That gives us probable cause, right?" Soonyoung whispers to you, which makes you nod, stashing your walkie and pulling out your own gun. "Should we call for backup?"

"Signal isn't going through." You say, your voice hard as your heart starts to race. You take a step back, gun still in hand as you scan the house before something glints on the top of the roof, catching your eye.

"Kwon," You call, getting Soonyoung's attention as you squint. "Is that what I think it is?" Soonyoung squints the sunlight out of his eyes as his gaze flits around the rooftop, before narrowing on the object on the roof.

"Yep," He confirms, visibly grimacing. "It's a signal jammer."

"Fuck." You curse, your blood pumping faster as you run through a million scenarios in your head.

On one hand, you knew that this guy was armed and dangerous, waiting for backup is the smart thing to do. Not to mention that you had promised your fellow TOs that you would wait for them if something goes wrong. Prior to hitting the streets, the three of you came up with a plan. As house visits were meant to be wrapped up fast, it shouldn't take more than ten minutes per house unless something goes awry. If it does go awry, the other two officers would rush down with their rookies to check whether everything is alright.

You glance at your watch. Seven minutes had passed. You calculate the probabilities in your head, before making a decision that you are sure is going to come back and bite you in the ass.

"Here's the plan." You tell Soonyoung sternly. "According to the plan, Lee and Kim will come in three minutes but by how calculated this guy is, he might disappear the second they get here and we can't afford to lose him due to his backup plans upon backup plans." You point out, running through the points. "So, we take the probable cause and we start the timer for three minutes. No matter what happens, we stall." Your eyes flit between Soonyoungs'. "Understood?" He visibly swallows before nodding. You give him a curt nod as you hold up your gun higher and use your free hand to open the door.

Stepping into Liam's house, you peer at the rifle before gazing into the living room, the first room of the house. "I told you to wait outside." Liam says, his tone serious and angry as you step forward, meeting him halfway in the middle of his living room, your gun pointing straight at his chest.

"Sir." You say, your voice low as you noticed his hands wedged into his pocket. "I'm going to need you to show us your hands."

Liam lets out a chuckle in disbelief, "This is a mistake." He spits out, looking between you and Soonyoung, "I have the receipt for the stuff right here." He holds out the piece of paper towards you as you take a step back, making his arm falter.

"And we will get to that sir. But right now, my training officer has asked you to show us your hands."

Liam's eyes flit between you and Soonyoung before he lets out an exhale of disappointment, shaking his head. "You really don't want me to do that," He warns the two of you, making your eyes narrow.

"We'll be the judge of that." You narrow your gaze, aiming your gun at his shoulder. "I'm only going to say this one last time," You say, your voice even as you enunciate each word. "Show. Us. Your. Hands."

Liam chuckles lowly before his face twists into something more menacing as he shrugs. "Fine," he barks out. "But you asked for this." Everything happens in a split second.

Before you can even react, Liam pulls out a pistol from his pocket which makes your eyes widen. "GET DOWN!" You yell at Soonyoung, diving behind the coffee table as Liam pelts bullets into both your directions. Your eyes close tightly on instinct, placing your hands above your face to shield it from the concrete wall shavings and wood splinters flying your way. The clicks of the gun trigger fades down the hallway but the shots continue, making your blood rush as you feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

You peer above the coffee table, scanning the room till you notice Liam standing behind the connecting wall of the living room and the kitchen, making you scowl as you fire a few shots at said wall, missing him by a few millimeters. You continue to fire and duck before looking to your left to see Soonyoung on the floor, cowering behind the display cabinet near the front door.

Soonyoung whose gun is near his thighs, not a single bullet fired as he peers from behind the cabinet every few seconds while his hands shake uncontrollably as he looks as paralyzed as he was this afternoon. His chest heaves, making you curse under your breath as Mingyu and Seokmin's words flash in your mind. Their concerns had come true at this very instance.

"OFFICER KWON!" You yell out over the shots, making him look directly into your eyes as you pelt a few more bullets into the wall. "IF YOU DO NOT FUCKING GET UP AND ENGAGE THE SUSPECT—" You pelt a few more bullets up at the suspect, letting the threat fall on his ears as you duck down and meet his gaze again, hard. "GET THE FUCK UP, KWON SOONYOUNG!"

Soonyoung continues to blankly stare at you as you reload your gun with your spare clip, watching from the corner of your eye as Liam moves even further towards the backdoor. Your blood runs cold as panic ensues. If he gets to the back door, it's game over.

You faintly hear Mingyu and Seokmin's shops in the distance as they race down the road. The sirens should've placated your adrenaline rush, but all you could focus on, is the man moving closer and closer to his exit. Without a second thought, you lunge over the coffee table and run to the connecting wall that you were pelting bullets into, just a few minutes ago.

Your heart races as you duck behind any surface you can as Liam continues his assault of bullets, one of them grazing your shoulder and causing you to flinch in pain as you feel the sting and burn it leaves behind. You grit your teeth, continuing to run and duck as you reach the connecting wall, slamming your back hard against it as you try to catch your breath. The assault of bullets cease, making you peer around the wall to catch a glimpse of Liam reloading his gun as he makes a break for the kitchen counter. Your eyes narrow as you fire a few rounds at him, cursing as he manages to evade them. He ducks behind the kitchen counter, his escape route through the backdoor almost clear, making your heart pound in your ears. Liam fires a few shots back at you without looking up, making you crouch even further behind the wall to check your clip.

Two bullets left.

"Fuck my life." You mutter lowly. "Liam! It's going to be really bad for you in about thirty seconds." You shout, hearing him scuffle behind the kitchen counter.

"You're going to have more cops out there than you can handle." You shout, wincing as you feel a spike of pain from the bullet graze, your adrenaline waning as your heart rate starts to slow down. "You'll have an easier time with the DA if you surrender now because if you kill an officer, you'll never see outside of the four gray walls ever again." You reason, trying to get him to relent.

"Shut up you bitch!" Liam yells before firing a few more rounds as you making you shelter yourself behind the wall. "I rather die than go to prison."

You click your tongue, "I don't know about that, Liam!" You say calmly, trying to push him to talk more. "If you shoot me, my rookie will have to put a bullet between your eyes. I'll be pissed off and have to take a few weeks to recover but you?" You chuckle lowly. "Will never see the light of day again."

You hear him bark out a laugh, "You mean the guy who hasn't fired a single bullet at me?" You tune into the sound of his voice as you slowly round the wall and walk towards the counter as quietly as you can as he continues with a scoff. "Yeah, right, sweetheart." You grimace at the pet name, feeling your blood boil slightly at it. "I bet he's cowering behind the display shelf isn't he? What a rookie you raised." He chuckles mockingly, as you reach the counter before jumping over it and pointing your gun dead center between his brows, making his eyes light up with shock as he stares at you.

"It's his first day." You shrug,nonchalantly as you keep your hand still, never wavering, "But it'll be your last, the second you reach for the gun again." You harden your gaze on him. "Drop it." You say calmly, your tone even and hard. Liam's gaze switches between meeting yours, eyeing the gun in your hand and his that is pointing towards the floor.

There's silence for a beat before he sighs and throws the gun to the side, raising his hands in surrender as he give you a condescending smile. "Alright, sweetheart," He says,"You're smart, I'll give you that." You narrow your gaze before his eyes widen like a madman, "But not smart enough."

Before you could even think, he swipes his feet under yours, knocking you off your feet and the air in your lungs as you choke on your shock and saliva. Liam quickly jumps to his feet as he whistles lowly and steps his boot onto your wrist, crushing it as you let out a yell of pain.

He gives you a sick smile as he picks up the gun from your hand with no push back and crushes your wrist harder under his boot making you gasp from the pain. Liam cocks his head to the side, in mock sympathy. "Poor you," he coos out, his voice laced with fake honey, "This is what happens when they put women in command, sweetheart." He chuckles lowly, shaking his head. "You ladies all think that you're smarter and better than us but working in the government is a man's job, darling."

You grit your teeth at his words as he applies even more pressure on your wrist and leans in closer, leveling the gun with your face. "Such a shame that I have to kill you." He clicks his tongue, "You really do have a pretty face." His smile widens as your blood runs cold.

This is it. You had let your ego get in the way and you were never going to see your friends or Minghao again. You brace for impact, closing your eyes as you hear him cock the gun before hearing a shot.

The gunshot rings loudly in your ears as you feel the pressure on your wrist immediately fade. Muffled voices come from behind you before Minghao appears by your side, his eyes wide with concern as his mouth moves too fast for you to catch what he is saying while he sheathes his gun back into his holder.

"Pixie." He breaths out, his voice getting clearer and clearer as each second passes. "Chwe!" He yells, almost out of breath. "Request for an RA and an ambulance now!"

You hear a thousand different dialogues going on as Minghao gets you to try and focus on him. "Suspect in custody, requesting for an RA and ambulance to our location, over." You hear Vernon briskly say as Minghao accesses you for damage as he mutters on about how stupid you are. He freezes, seeing your shoulder and grimaces at the amount of blood there was, seeping through your uniform.

"Nova!" You hear Mingyu and Seokmin's footsteps before you see them, as they crouch in front of you, just behind Minghao who's still holding your face between his hands as his eyes flit around your face.

"I can't tell if she has a concussion." Minghao says, his voice cracking slightly. "Pixie, can you hear me?" You blink, feeling your body start to crash from the adrenaline as your head starts to unfog, watching Seokmin chew on his bottom lip.

"I think she's in shock, Hao." He says before Mingyu gets your attention.

"Blink twice if you can hear us, Nova." Mingyu says, concern lacing his voice as you respond by blinking twice along with a shaky exhale.

"I'm—" You manage to choke out, feeling all your senses returning as your body aches and your wrist throbs, "I'm okay." You breathe out, causing Minghao to let out a shaky exhale before he pulls you straight into his chest. Your head collides into his shoulder as he chokes back a sob, making your heart clench as he squeezes you tighter into him, not caring who is watching. "Hao…" You slowly say as you run a hand soothingly down his back as you meet Mingyu and Seokmin's eyes which are swirling with relief.

"Fuck you, Pixie." He spits out into your shoulder, "I thought you were gone." Your heart clenches a little more as you slowly push yourself out of his embrace to look him in the eyes.

"Hao," you say gently, coaxing the boy to lock eyes with you. "Look at me." He looks at you and your chest drops at how broken and empty his eyes look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." You whisper out as you try for a small smile. "But I'm okay, you saved me." You let out a shaky breath, teething on the edge of sobbing as the shock hits you fully. "Thank you for saving me."

Minghao gnaws on his bottom lip as you let a few tears fall, sobbing slightly making him pull you back into his chest as he runs a hand through your hair. "I'm here." He says quietly, gently kissing your hair as you soak his uniform. "You're safe."

Minghao doesn't leave your side once, even as you're getting patched up for the bullet graze as the paramedics check you for any other injuries, clearing you from all signs of a concussion. "You're very lucky." The paramedic tells you, eyeing you as she cleans the bullet graze. "A couple more centimeters to the left and it would've hit you in the neck."

You felt lucky. You knew that if Minghao and the rest were even a second later, you would've died. Minghao's hand holds yours as they check your wrist before placing it in a small brace, ruling it as a bad sprain that would heal in a few days. You thank them, looking at your brother as he fills you in.

Seokmin and Mingyu requested backup the second they heard the gun, but due to the shots getting fired, they had no clear way to enter.

Minghao, who was in the stakeout truck, immediately rushed over without a second thought. They formed a quick plan for Seokmin, Mingyu and their respective rookies to secure the back of the house just in case the suspect ran. Minghao and Vernon took the front, waiting for the right time to enter. But the moment Minghao heard your scream, he lost all sense of the entire plan, running inside and firing into Liam's shoulder.

Minghao stays quiet for a beat after finishing his retelling, making you take a few sips of water from a plastic bottle that Minghao got from his shop. "Slowly." He chastises as you gulp down, not noticing how dehydrated you are. "You're going to choke." You resist the urge to roll your eyes, knowing that Minghao is doting on you because you nearly died in front of him.

After you get patched up, Minghao insists on driving the shop back to the station for debrief. "Don't we need to get Kwon?" You ask, slipping into shotgun as Minghao scowls.

"I asked Mingyu and Seokmin to take him back to the station." He levels you with a gaze before starting up the car as you slump into the seat. "You're going to wash him out, right?" Minghao asks after a few beats of silence. "You kind of have to at this point."

You chew your bottom lip, "I don't know, Hao." You softly say, making Minghao let out a scoff of disbelief.

"You're kidding, Pixie." He says, his tone incredulous. "You've washed out rookies for less!" He bites out, his voice getting louder and louder with each word as they're laced with more and more venom.

"It's not that simple, Hao." You shoot back, your voice low as Minghao snorts.

"Pixie, it's as simple as riding a fucking bike." He spits back, his fingers squeezing the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles start to turn white. "He's clearly going through a midlife crisis of becoming a cop. He was a fucking idol for godsake!" He laughs, not a single trace of humour in it as he rambles on. "He may have gotten good scores, Nova, but that doesn't change the fact that he almost let you die and didn't have your back." He briefly locks eyes with you through the rear-view mirror before looking back at the road. "I have your back if you need to wash him out so please, Nova." He lets out a quiet exhale, "Don't be a hero and try to train the impossible rookie."

You let silence envelop the shop as you take in Minghao's words. He is right. You had washed out rookies for less and over smaller mistakes. This situation is different though. The consequences of you washing out this rookie are different.

Kwon Soonyoung has a tie to your career that either means you keep getting to do what you love or risk loosing it all because he was not prepared. If you'd place both options on a scale, you honestly wouldn't know where it titled to more. Lady luck is not on your side either way.

"Pixie." Minghao breathes out, shaking you out of your thoughts. "What are you keeping from me?" He asks, his low voice making your heart clench slightly.

You could tell him. Keeping it from him even for just the past shift was already making his perception of you change. You don't know how to tell him that Soonyoung needs to pass by any means necessary in order for you to keep this job. You live and breathe this job and no one knows that better than him. But you also know that he would force you to take all the easy calls, or that he would fight tooth and nail to get the rookie transferred to him because there is no consequences for him, and you simply can't let that happen.

"I'm not hiding anything, Hao." You say, your voice calmer than you thought it would be as you gaze out the window, the streets of Los Angeles whizzing by as you refuse to meet his eyes. "Can we please, just get back to the station for debrief?"

Minghao lets out a sigh, sounding like he wants to argue but nothing comes as he continues driving. You spend the rest of the way back in silence as you try not to let your exhaustion get the better of you and fall asleep in the shop, opting to just crash in your bed later after getting a cup of hot chamomile tea and a shower.

You and Minghao hop out of the shop and go straight to the meeting room where you are met with Seungcheol's stern gaze as he stands at the front door of the meeting room. You feel uneasy as he accesses you from top to bottom, an unreadable expression on his face with his arms crossed.

You tiredly brace for impact as he meets your gaze. "Glad to see you're alive." Seungcheol says, his voice even, "I also see that your rookie came back earlier without you." You swallow, opening your mouth to respond when Minghao beats you to it.

"I told Kwon to ride with Kim back to the station." His tone eerily even as he takes a quick sharp glance at you. "I needed Nova to debrief me in the car so I drove the shop back and we took the scenic route to have more time."

Seungcheol looks between the two of you before sighing and shaking his head, "I expect your reports on my desk before the end of shift." He relents, walking into the briefing room as you trail in after him with Minghao behind you.

You meet Soonyoung's gaze as soon as you walk through the door and notice the way his face pales as he immediately breaks eye contact and fiddles with his fingers. His face is filled with regret that makes your blood boil at the thought of him cowering behind the desk. Clenching your fist, you take your seat between Mingyu and Seokmin who share an uneasy glance at the obvious growing tension between you and Minghao.

The debrief goes quickly. You opt to stay quiet for most of it, only filling in the parts you need to before the shift ends. You stand up and walk out of the meeting room when Seungcheol's voice stops you as he calls Soonyoung, a tense tone in his voice.

You opt to stay quiet for most of it and only filling in the parts you needed to before the shift ends. You stand up and walk out of the meeting room when Seungcheol's voice stops you as he calls Soonyoung, a tense tone in his voice. You watch from the outside as Seungcheol slowly walks over to your rookie, his gaze hard with his arms crossed.

"I hear you left your training officer to fend for herself." Seungcheol says, his voice low. If looks could kill, Soonyoung would probably be six-feet under with how intensely he looks at him.

Soonyoung swallows, "Sir, I—" Seungcheol holds up a hand, interrupting Soonyoung before he could start rambling.

"Save it," Seungcheol hisses out. "I don't need your explanations or excuses, Officer Kwon. I will know all the reasons as soon as your TO gives me the report later." He steps closer to Soonyoung. "And if she writes something just a little out of place," He quietly threatens. "You're done, Officer Kwon."

Soonyoung nods grimly before Seungcheol shoos him away, making him walk out of the room, his head hung low before he almost runs into you with your arms crossed and an unreadable look on your face.

The two of you stare at each other for a beat before Soonyoung clears his throat, "Ma'am." He starts, his voice soft as he takes a deep breath. "I just wanted to say that whatever you write in the report, I take full responsibility." You don't respond, opting to let him continue. "I know I let you down today. You gave me a shot and I screwed it up." Soonyoung locks eyes with you, "But if by some grace of some God out there that I make it through till tomorrow. I promise you that I'll be the best rookie that you ever have."

You let his words fall into the silence surrounding the two of you, letting it sit there as you let the guilt in his heart stew a little longer. "I'm not going to fire you, Officer Kwon."

His eyes widen at that. "What?" He sputters out, not doing anything to mask his shock.

"Don't get me wrong, Kwon." You say, your voice tense and low, "I should be firing you for the stunt that you pulled off today. Whatever you did and didn't do at the sniper's house just proves to me that you are a liability to the department and to me." You shake your head as you let out a bitter chuckle before narrowing your gaze on him. "But I want you to admit it to yourself."

Soonyoung hesitates as you take a step closer towards him. "You're going to walk in here tomorrow and quit because you won't be able to get any sleep tonight." You tell him, your voice low, "Because the events of today will haunt you and eat away at you until you have no choice but to quit."

You take a few steps backwards, almost walking off when Soonyoung stops you.

"Why don't you just fire me then?" He says, his voice slightly bitter and low making your jaw clench.

"I'm trying to save you from the shame and ridicule, Officer Kwon." You bark out a curt laugh. "There is honour in resigning and realizing that you aren't up for this job. That this is just a walking mid-life crisis moment that will either get you or me killed." You spit out, walking closer to him before jabbing a finger into his chest. "Because if you get fired from this job, what's next, Kwon Soonyoung?"

You let the words sink in before shooting back more, "Go back to being an idol? Live a quiet life?" You spit out, venom lacing every word. "You will have nothing." You say, your tone hard and tense, before dropping your hand and shaking your head. "And haven't you been through enough of that for just one lifetime?"

Soonyoung doesn't reply you, opting to just stare at you with an unreadable expression on his face. "I figured." You mutter, taking a step back. "Goodnight, Kwon Soonyoung." You curtly say, "It was nice to meet you." With those words, you turn on your heel and walk away, leaving Soonyoung by himself to deal with the aftermath of your words.

REPORT 2 OF 546 - THE FIREBALL OF SECOND CHANCES

You feel a migraine coming on as soon as you walk into the locker room, slightly later than you normally would. Everyone had given you funny looks on the way in and you can't blame them, you look like straight death.

You didn't get as much sleep as you thought you would last night. You had gone home and locked yourself in your room, barely saying a word to Minghao who didn't say anything to you either, not that you expected him to. During your arguments or disagreements, there are always a few days of silence and no interactions between the two of you. Having grown up in the same household for majority of your adolescent to teenage years, you both realized that the best way to deal with fights or disagreements was to give each other space until one was ready to talk without wanting to throw something at the other.

This decision was made because the last time you and Minghao had tried to solve a fight, only a couple of hours after you had it, a few cups had broke from the pillows thrown across the room at each other. Minghao was always the calmer one of the two of you, keeping himself in check with his meditation and tea, which meant he would normally be the first to calm down and talk to you.

However, this time around, you are sure that Minghao is adamant on not speaking to you until you come to him first. Minghao had a couple of old rules that he used to ground himself with. One of them being that if you'd lie to him and cause a fight, he wouldn't be the one to break the silence.

You sigh, opening your locker before a frown makes it way onto your lips as an old picture of you and Minghao taken during your rookie days blatantly stares back at you, making you nearly slam your head into the locker door. You hold off on that sentiment though, opting to freshen yourself up before putting on your uniform and walking out the door. You walk to your desk to gather some paper work when you hear someone clearing their throat beside you. You look to your right to see Seungcheol standing there with his arms crossed in-front of his chest.

"Got a second, Nova?" He asks making you nod as he gestures you to follow him into his office, closing the door behind him after you enter. You stand with your hands behind your back as he stands in-front of you and accesses you for a beat, his eyes flitting around your face. "Rough night?" He asks making your eyes widen slightly before you mask it almost immediately by shaking your head.

"No, sir." You state, making Seungcheol's eyebrow raise before he goes to sit at his desk.

"Take a seat Nova, I have a few questions about the report that you submitted last night." A small 'Oh' escapes your mouth before you can stop it, making Seungcheol look at you, his gaze hard. "Would that be an issue?"

You awkwardly clear your throat. "No sir." You say, trying to make your tone as even as possible as you take a seat. "By all means, please ask away."

Seungcheol stares at you for a few seconds before placing two reports in-front of you, one being yours and the other being Minghao's. "When I was reading yours and Officer Xu's report last night, I couldn't help but notice a couple of discrepancies between the two of you." He raises a hand slightly, "Now, don't get me wrong, officers do have different ways of doing the incident report but the main incidents are normally the same, the only discrepancies being just the way they write it. Overall, the gist of the report doesn't change." He uses both hands to point at the report summary that you and Minghao had written. "The two of you however," He starts, his tone serious. "Seem to have different opinions on what actually happened in the house."

You feel your mouth dry up as you stare at the two different report summaries, running through a million thoughts in your head. When you were writing your summary last night, you had opted to not mention anything about Soonyoung's second panic attack or him leaving you to fight for yourself and just wrote that you had tried a different approach to put yourself in harms way instead of him.

Minghao, on the other-hand, had written the truth and nothing but the truth. He had written about how Soonyoung didn't fire a single shot at the suspect and did nothing to stop the misogynistic words coming out of the suspects mouth and had opted to do nothing while you were getting hurt. You continue to stare at the reports, not knowing what to say. Seungcheol sighs in frustration, "Nova." He starts, his serious tone making you peer up at him sheepishly, meeting his unamused face. "Did you or did you not intentionally lie on your report?"

You chew your bottom lip, "I may have exaggerated the truth slightly?" Is all your brain can come up with, making Seungcheol sigh as he presses two fingers at the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed.

"And why would you do that?" You keep quiet at that, making Seungcheol lock eyes with you as his jaw clenches slightly, "Well?" He asks, getting impatient which makes you sigh.

"Because if I had written that in the report, I would've been forced to wash him out." You mumble out, making Seungcheol's frown deepen even more.

"Instead you told him off last night outside the briefing room to try and get him to quit this morning." Seungcheol pieces together, making you nod. He stares at you in disbelief, leaving you to sputter out reassurances.

"On the bright side, I think he's coming to quit today and I need you to not stop him."

Seungcheol stares at you for a second longer before leaning back in his chair slightly. "Nova," He starts, a slight edge to his tone, stopping you in the middle of your ramble. "Did you purposely put yourself in danger so that you could get him to quit?"

Your eyes widen at Seungcheol's accusations. "What the hell?" You sputter out, unsure if you heard him right. "Are you seriously asking me if I risked my life to give Kwon Soonyoung a heart attack and get him to quit?" You ask, your tone strained as you give Seungcheol a once over in disbelief. "Do you really think I would do something like that?"

Seungcheol clicks his tongue as he eyes you carefully, as if he's calculating his words. "Given your explanation and how you risked everything yesterday after you promised both Officer Kim and Lee that you would call for backup, with you lying on your report, putting yourself in a situation when there were a hundred other ways to solve it given your training and adaptability…" Seungcheol trails off, shaking his head, "I don't know what to think, Nova. I've never seen you like this."

You feel your heart sink lower and lower into your stomach at every word that comes out of Seungcheol's mouth. He is right. You've never lied on a report, there were a hundred different ways you could have handled yesterday and you know because you ran through all the scenarios in your head. However, only one of them gave you the highest percentage of Kwon Soonyoung walking out and realizing that he wasn't cut out for this job.

You could've gone with Nova or yourself and you went with Nova. "Sarge." You say after finding your voice and resolve, "My job is on the line." You say, your voice strained, bitterness lacing every word. "I've had to work twice as hard as any other officer here, Seungcheol." Your eyes locking with the older man, "I have to make sure that every report is written to expectation, that every case I take is flawless because that was just the hand that was handed to be because of my gender, Sarge."

You let out a bitter laugh. "But because I am ruthless when I have to be, that I take no bullshit and train the rookies after me to be the best of the best especially if they're girls, I get handed a shitty hand because my wash out rate is too high." You take a shaky inhale of a breath, feeling your chest tighten. "So, if Kwon Soonyoung walks in here with the intention to quit today, I beg of you to please let him." You say, your voice softer than it has been since you had entered the office. "I need this, Seungcheol, more than anything."

Seungcheol stares at you, his expression softening from what it was a few moments ago. His heart aches for you. Of course he knows that you had worked harder for than anyone else for this opportunity. It was evident when he had met you on that first day of the academy. You, bright-eyed, nudging Minghao at every single relic or clipping that was on the wall, ecstatic and not believing that you were finally here.

He remembers all the boys mocking you behind your back as they watched you that first day, how you were the only girl in the class which automatically put you at the bottom of the food chain without even giving you a chance. However, his favourite moment from that was how you proved all those boys wrong that very day in combat class. You had gone against every single one of those assholes and flipped them over as if they weighed nothing, effectively knocking out more than just the wind in their lungs and the smug smiles on their faces.

You had also effectively knocked out everyone's perspective of you, replacing it with the hard determination on your face as you looked around the room, an eyebrow raised as you wondered aloud who wanted to go next. He was so glad that he decided to take the assistant teaching role for that class because he hasn't seen something as amazing as that before then. Now, as he stares at you, that memory at the back of his mind, he sees the same girl with the same quiet resolve. Except, now, it is slowly breaking before his eyes. The girl, who made everyone jump out of their skin at just the thought of her, was looking at him as if she was about to lose everything, just because of a bad dice roll that was handed to her.

There is only one right choice.

He calls out your name softly, grounding you slightly as you continue to stare at him as he studies you for a beat. "If he does step into my office to quit," Seungcheol lets out a slow exhale, "I will let him."

You feel your heart skip a beat at his words, your eyes widening as you open your mouth to thank him. He holds out a hand, stopping you.

"However, if he does not quit today, or any other day, I need you to promise me that you won't treat him as if he's some lost case, Nova." He says sternly, his eyes boring into yours with a fiery look in them, "Because if he's as stubborn as you, Nova, the minute you give the guy an expiration date, he will try his very best to prove to you that he's worth it which will lead to stupid and reckless decisions."

He glances down at the reports on the table before flitting his eyes back to yours. "And I think one case filled with stupid and reckless decisions during the first month of his probation is enough, don't you think?"

You swallow at the intensity of Seungcheol's words as you slowly nod, still digesting them slightly. Seungcheol gives you an unreadable look, "He had top scores at the academy for a reason, Nova. If you give him the proper training instead of throwing him into the deep end of your cases, he will definitely get over this mental block that is stopping you from turning him into the best rookie that you've ever trained."

He lowers his voice down to a whisper, "Remember what it was like to be in his shoes, Nova."

You feel your heart in your throat as you digest his words. Seungcheol looks out to the right of his office and whatever he sees makes one of his eyebrows raise making you blink at him, slightly confused.

"Looks like you have your work cut out for you, Nova." He says softly, his eyes never leaving the sight. You whip your head to the left, eyebrows furrowing at his words before your eyes widen at what's in front of you.

Because Kwon Soonyoung is standing there, grabbing the war bags and talking to the logistics people as if your ultimatum yesterday meant absolutely nothing to the man. He has a neutral expression on his face, wearing his rookie uniform as he taps his fingers against the desk, waiting for the rest of the equipment, and you feel your heart drop slightly.

"Well," Seungcheol says, getting your attention back to him as he takes the paperwork from you. "I'll help you and Xu adjust the inconsistencies in your reports." He glances up at you, his eyes glinting, a small smile on his face, "Get out there and make good on your promise."

You can't help but let yourself gawk at the man in front of you as he shoos you out of his office. "You're dismissed." He simply says, pushing you out and closing the door behind you as the blinds knock against the glass door.

You internally curse at the older man before turning to face your thirteenth reason why, who has just placed the body-cam over his uniform and turned it on as you taught him the day before. You storm up to him, the words already on your tongue before your mind could process them.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Kwon Soonyoung?"

Soonyoung turns and lock eyes with you, his expression unchanging even as you storm up to him, looking at him as if he should be anywhere but here.

"Ma'am." He greets, utterly ignoring your words from before as your eyes narrow on his. "Don't 'Ma'am' me, Boot. Didn't I specifically tell you what would happen to you if you didn't turn in your papers?" You spit out, venom lacing every word.

"Then cut me." Soonyoung replies, without wasting a single beat, his answer resonating in your mind as his tone cut through your venomous one. He is filled with determination as he stares at you. You stare at him, pressing your tongue to the edge of your cheek as he levels you with his determined gaze, "I know you think I'm some privileged train wreck that sued his way into this department just because he wanted to play dress up, but I'm not." He says firmly.

"I'm here because I have to do this," He says, his voice never wavering, his expression not changing, "Because I can't live with myself if anyone else goes through the same thing that I have."

You stare at him, feeling your blood boil slightly as his selfless nature shines through his words. You bite the inside of your cheek, letting out a small groan as you look towards the older man, whose eyes you can feel, burning holes in the back of your head.

Seungcheol looks at you, his eyes glinting slightly and a small smile on his face before he shrugs his shoulders after you fix him with a silent glare. There's a debate happening inside you, your Nova persona fighting your true self, before you sigh internally and face your rookie. Letting yourself study him for a beat, you wonder if he just made this decision on a whim.

You internally curse when you realize how well-rested he looks compared to you, debating whether you did the right thing. Not that he knows that, of course. You pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes, "Alright, Boot." You grit out through your teeth before you fix him with a hard expression, "If you're that committed to making me give you hell, I might as well make sure you can walk through fire."

You visibly see Soonyoung's posture relax as you narrow your eyes. "I just hope you aren't scared of getting burned." His eyes flit around your face before giving you a curt nod. "If that's what it takes to get you to believe me," he starts, "I'll gladly take every fireball you throw my way."

You scoff at his words, watching a small smile appear on his face, his serious facade breaking slightly as you resist the urge to roll your eyes, "Go set up our shop then, Boot." You say, nudging your finger in the direction of the police lot, "Don't make me regret this."

He gives you a wider smile, the serious facade fading into something more him which made your heart crawl its way into your throat as you wonder what you had just signed yourself up for as he levels your gaze, "Yes, Ma'am."

REPORT 14 OF 546 - THE MOTOR POOL HIT

When Soonyoung had agreed to get through every fire filled obstacle you were determined to throw his way, he didn't actually think he would succeed. Whether it was by sheer dumb luck or some kind of determination, he would never know.

You had put him as the primary for every single call that the two of you took, meaning that he was the one making every decision and dealing with every single consequence. It had been smooth sailing so far, you actually giving him the chance to prove himself — although, you looked like you wanted to slam your head against the wall every time he made a mistake.

Again, whether it was by sheer dumb luck or some kind of grace by God himself, he made it through, with only a couple of parking misdemeanors, some minor drug cases and only one homicide case that was closed shut pretty fast with the help of Vernon and Minghao.

Yep, just typical two weeks as a police officer.

Truth be told, he had thought about quitting the second he had made his way into the apartment and collapsed, sprawled out face-down onto the couch. The events of the day kept replaying like an annoying b-list movie he couldn't get rid of.

Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you.

He shifts on the couch, closing his eyes as he took deep breaths like his therapist had told him.

Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you.

Deep breath in. Three gunshots. Deep breath out. Dead body. He feels his breathing start to quicken. Panic attack. He inhales a shaky breath. Bursting through the door. He exhales, lesser than he should've. More gunshots. He feels his heart start to pick up. You on the floor. He tries to stabilize his breathing as his body starts to shake. The guy standing over you, gun in his hand. He lets out a shaky breath, a sob on the tip of his tongue as it keeps replaying.

Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breathe in) Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breathe out) Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breathe in) Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breath out)

He feels his body start to shut down as everything around him muffles, his brain deciding to take a different turn, changing to the day his hands were stained red as he presses his palms over his ears, hearing everything and nothing. He doesn't know how long his spiral lasts for because when he snaps out of it, he is sitting on the floor instead of the couch, his knees tucked to his chest. Another development was that Jeonghan is there, clutching onto him like he is his lifeline as his eyes flit around Soonyoung's face, concern etched in them.

"Breathe, Hoshi." Jeonghan says, his voice cracking slightly as he notices the haze behind Soonyoung's eyes starting to fade. "I'm here." He voices out softly, running his hands up and down Soonyoung's arms.

Soonyoung takes in Jeonghan's appearance, noticing that he is still in his suit while his briefcase is beside him, looking as if it was tossed haphazardly. He had just come home, which meant that Soonyoung has been sitting here for nearly an hour, in his own spiral.

He feels Jeonghan get up and walk to the counter, but not before whispering to Soonyoung that he would be right back. A beat passes before he feels a tissue being dabbed around the corners of his eyes. Soonyoung was so in his head that he didn't realize his face was wet, his eyes swollen and he's been crying for the better part of his hour spiral.

The two sit in silence, the only noises breaking it being Soonyoung's sniffles and Jeonghan's small reassuring words of comfort that slowly ground him back to earth. Half an hour later, Soonyoung finds himself on their couch; fresh pizza and soft drinks on the table and Jeonghan by his side, flicking through Netflix, the two not saying a word to each other. Soonyoung watches Jeonghan flick through the channels, a little confused as to why he hasn't said anything until it lands on one of their favourite shows. Jeonghan clicks on it before opening the pizza box and fishing a slice out onto their disposable plates and passing it to Soonyoung without missing a beat.

Soonyoung finds himself staring at the plate, outstretched in Jeonghan's hand as he gnaws at his bottom lip. Jeonghan click his tongue, making Soonyoung look up at the older man who has an eyebrow raised. "Take the plate, Hoshi," Jeonghan says, reading Soonyoung almost immediately as he orders him to take it with a deadpanned tone. "My arm's getting tired."

Soonyoung resists the urge to hesitate even more, noticing Jeonghan's expression and takes the plate with a soft 'thank you'. Jeonghan scoops a piece of pizza for himself as the movie plays softly in the background, white noise as Soonyoung chews slowly on his pizza.

He eyes Jeonghan, who has his gaze fixed on the television screen, concentrating on the scene playing out as if they hadn't seen the movie over a thousand times together and could recite it word for word ever since they were young.

"Staring is impolite, you know." Jeonghan states, his gaze unmoving from the screen as Soonyoung jumps slightly at his voice. Jeonghan takes a bite of his pizza as Soonyoung blurts out the first thing on his mind. "You aren't going to ask?"

Jeonghan pauses mid-chew for five seconds, digesting his words before swallowing his food, turning to look at the blonde haired male with an unreadable expression on his face. "Are you going to tell me the truth if I do?" The dark haired male asks, setting the plate down onto his lap.

Soonyoung feels his heart rate pick up slightly, nervous at the expression on Jeonghan's face. Having grown up with Jeonghan, Soonyoung has gotten used to being able to read the older man whose habits hadn't changed one bit. However, Soonyoung forgets that Jeonghan also has one of the best poker faces known to mankind. One of the most needed points to be a good lawyer.

He studies Jeonghan for a second more, prolonging the inevitable to see if Jeonghan would break his facade slightly. When it seems like the poker face has decided to prevail, Soonyoung sighs before giving in, spilling everything to him.

Jeonghan sits there, not interrupting once as Soonyoung recalls all the information from the day, his voice cracking and wavering every time he mentions something that he did wrong. He feels a sob in his throat as he remembers what happened when he got home, telling him about his spiral as well as Seoyeon.

When Soonyoung finishes, his throat aches for water, his lungs gasping slightly for air as he stares at his cold half-eaten pizza on his lap. The room is quiet, the only noises coming from the television as Soonyoung gnaws on the inside of his cheek, awaiting Jeonghan's response. "Hoshi."

Soonyoung peers up at the older man slowly, the gentle tone of his voice paired with the nickname making Soonyoung's heart clench slightly. As soon as he locks eyes with the black haired man, his breath catches as he sees Jeonghan's eyes fill with tears.

"Hyung…" Soonyoung starts, speechless. Since they were young, he had only seen Jeonghan cry twice in his life. The day his pet rock went missing when he was seven — which they had found moments later underneath a pile of his clothes — and when Jeonghan had placed first during the bar exam. Never did Soonyoung expect Jeonghan to cry about this.

"Why are you crying?" Soonyoung asks, placing the plate on the table as he scoots closer to Jeonghan, who cleans the stray tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"I'm sorry for not noticing how bad your panic attacks are," Jeonghan said, placing his own plate on the table before fully turning to face Soonyoung, "I should've pushed harder for you to start next week instead." Soonyoung shakes his head immediately, "Stop that." Soonyoung chastised softly, "This isn't your fault, hyung. I needed to go and experience this today even though it fucking sucks like hell." He said, joking lightly, which makes Jeonghan let out a small watery laugh.

Soonyoung softens slightly, "I needed to do this, hyung, and honestly, no matter if I went this week or next week, the outcome would've been the same." He says, taking a shaky inhale, "I didn't think of how badly that night would affect me out on the street today."

They stay silent for a few moments, slowly digesting the different words said before Soonyoung sighs. "I need to find a way to get over that night."

"I think…" Jeonghan starts, hesitating slightly as his tongue darts out to swipe over his lip, "You need to forgive yourself first for what happened that night."

Soonyoung feels his heart lurch and the breath getting knocked out of his lungs at Jeonghan's words.

"It wasn't your fault, Hoshi." Jeonghan says gently, observing how Soonyoung had stilled. "You being twenty minutes late for that meetup had nothing to do with her death."

"But I could've stopped the guy." Soonyoung mutters out, making Jeonghan shake his head. "Or you could've died." "But-" "No." Jeonghan interrupts sternly, effectively shutting the younger man up. "Hoshi, you need to stop blaming yourself for the things that you can't control. So what if you were twenty minutes late that day, it wouldn't have stopped the person from executing their plan and killing her." His voice softens, "No matter how much we try to theorize how it would go, we can't know, Hoshi, and it really fucking sucks that we can't, but the important thing is that what we do after that." Jeonghan shifts on the couch, staring dead into Soonyoung's eyes before lifting up a finger. "Do we let the 'what ifs' stunt our growth or," He lifts up a second finger, "do we turn those 'what ifs' into new things for us to do, for us to continue to live for her?" Soonyoung feels his throat slowly close up at the words of his oldest friend, them sinking in harder that he thought they would. "We can't change the past, Hoshi." Jeonghan says softly, dropping his hands onto his lap, "but we can damn well make something of the present that will impact the future."

Soonyoung stares at Jeonghan, "No wonder you became a hot-shot lawyer," Soonyoung finds himself blurting out before his mind has a chance to catch up. Jeonghan blinks at the man, his eyes slightly wide in surprise before he lets out a snort.

"Only you would think to say that after the amazing speech I gave." Jeonghan says, shaking his head as he scoots backwards, away from Soonyoung. "That last line was really cheesy man, even you gotta admit that." "Fuck you," Jeonghan says, with no actual malice as Soonyoung lets out a snicker, "Last time I ever give you advice."

Soonyoung teasingly hums at that. "I don't think so… you love me too much to ever stop giving your old grandfatherly wisdom."

Soonyoung feels the pillow collide with his face before he could even see Jeonghan reach for it. Soonyoung sputters for a second, his back hitting the couch as Jeonghan laughs, a smirk on his face. "How's that for grandfatherly wisdom?"

Soonyoung rolls his eyes at the older mans antics, about to retort when Jeonghan asks, "So, what about the ultimatum?"

Soonyoung blinks at the man, his mouth suddenly drying up, "I don't know." Soonyoung answers honestly, "Maybe I'm not as cut out for the job as I think."

Jeonghan shakes his head at that, "That's bullshit, Hosh." Jeonghan says, his tone slightly deadpanned. Soonyoung shakes his head, about to retort but Jeonghan interrupts him once again. "Ignoring the fact that I haven't seen you this passionate about something in a long time, the fact that you were worried about it and that you keep thinking about it proves that you are cut out for this, Hoshi. If you didn't want it this much, you wouldn't have even tried as hard as you did today." Jeonghan's eyes glinted with a fiery glaze, "And that counts for something." He finishes firmly, making Soonyoung gnaw on the inside of his cheek.

"If you call it quits now, you're also proving this Nova lady or whatever right." Jeonghan narrows his eyes slightly at Soonyoung, "And I know you won't just let her psych you out into quitting, you're way too stubborn for that." Soonyoung scoffs, Jeonghan's words rolling about in his brain, making him take a step back and access the whole situation. "You're right." Soonyoung softly breaths out, "I need to do this." Jeonghan lets a small soft smile appear on his lips, "Atta boy." Jeonghan whispers out, resting his hand on Soonyoung's shoulder. "Thank you." Soonyoung says, his voice barely above a whisper, "For reminding me."

Jeonghan shrugs, "No worries." He hesitates for a second, a mischievous ghost of a smile on his lips, making Soonyoung raise an eyebrow, "If you really want to say 'thank you' though," Jeonghan clicks his tongue. "I accept cash and credit."

Soonyoung scoffs again before launching the forgotten pillow into Jeonghan's face, making the older man yelp in surprise as his back hits the edge of the couch, causing the boy to nearly fall off it. Soonyoung laughs. "Watch out, tiger boy," Jeonghan mutters out before bashing his friend in the head with another pillow. "Officer Kwon." Soonyoung snaps out of it when a snap appears in front of his face, clicking at him impatiently and making him look up to lock eyes with the watch commander.

"In another world, aren't you, Officer Kwon?" Seungcheol asks, his eyebrow raised as he locks eyes with Soonyoung, making some of the P2 officers snicker. Soonyoung clears his throat, "No, sir." He says, feeling a flush rise up from the back of his neck, "Was just thinking about how wonderful you look this morning."

Seungcheol's eyes narrow at his words, twitching slightly which makes Soonyoung give him an awkward smile. Seungcheol sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Soonyoung takes the opportunity to glance at you and the other training officers. Mingyu and Seokmin are sitting side-by-side, giggling under the palms of their hands. Minghao has a small smirk on his face while you look like you are planning his funeral.

Upon meeting your eyes, glinting with that fiery spirit of yours, Soonyoung opts to stare back at the front and wait for Seungcheol to bite his head off instead. Anything was better than meeting that medusa gaze of yours. He internally shudders at the thought.

"Glad seeing me makes your morning, Officer Kwon." Seungcheol finally deadpans. "I can't give you the same sentiment though for being a major pain in my ass for the amount of paperwork on my desk because of your little incident last week." Soonyoung winces, remembering the incident before the pictures appear on the screen in front for the whole briefing room to see.

"Not one, not two, but three totaled police shops in a span of a week." Seungcheol announces, clicking through the different photos where Soonyoung had driven into a storefront, a hydrant, and off the side of a building respectively.

"In my defense, sir," Soonyoung starts sheepishly, pointing to the last photo where the shop had landed at the bottom of a 10-foot tall building, "Officer Nova and I didn't see the ambush coming during our stakeout." "And the person who created the word, rolls happily in their grave."

Soonyoung hears Seungkwan and Chan let out a quiet snicker beside him, making him internally sigh as he resists the urge to glare at them while Sergeant Choi continues to glare at him. He can also hear Mingyu let out a laugh before covering it with a cough as he hears you sigh, no doubt with your eyes closed as you grimace at the rookie. A look that Soonyoung has seen one too many times during the two weeks of being your rookie.

"The motor pool have decided to put a hit on you if you destroy the next one that they're giving to you today." Seungcheol states, turning the presentation off and giving Soonyoung a stern look, "And their punishment is going to be worse than whatever you're conjuring up in your head at the moment." Soonyoung gives Seungcheol another sheepish smile before murmuring out. "Understood, sir."

Seungcheol stares at Soonyoung for another beat before walking back to the stand in the middle of the room. "Alright," Seungcheol says, clapping his hands together. "Do some good work out there."

A few murmurs fill the room before the scrapping of chairs ring out as everyone moves out of the room. Soonyoung takes a shaky inhale before standing up and turning to face you, already behind his chair with your arms crossed, making him jump. "Jesus." Soonyoung gasps, placing his hand on his chest as you raise an eyebrow at him, a ghost of a smirk on your face. "How did you get here?"

"I walked, Riot." You say, your eyes glinting slightly with amusement. "Something that you would need to start doing if you wreck the new shop today." "Which won't happen." Soonyoung chirps out, more confident than what you are used to, making you roll your eyes.

"And you wonder why your nickname is still Riot." You deadpan out before walking out of the briefing room. "Shop ready in 5, Officer Kwon." You call out, raising your hand, all five fingers pointing upwards. "I need to start with a cup of oolong tea if you decide to Mission Impossible our car again." "Thank you for the vote of confidence." Soonyoung mutters to himself before scurrying out of the briefing room to get the war bags.

You decided to let Soonyoung drive as sort of a peace offering after the first two days of hell training you had put him through. You were always the one with your hands on the wheels but after a few talks with Mingyu and Seokmin about easing off of him a little, you decided to change your tactics slightly. Unconventional rookie means unconventional approaches, right?

Which is why during the start of the second week, to switch it up, you let him drive for the whole week — which lead to the mess of the second week.

Given the track record, Soonyoung expected you to take the wheel again after the disastrous week he had behind the wheel. Which is exactly why his expression right now is comparable to a fish out of water as he sees you slide into shotgun with your fresh cup of pipping hot oolong tea.

Seungkwan, who was walking past with his own war bags in hand, stops by Soonyoung's side. "You're going to catch flies." He states, almost monotonous but with an edge of amusement that makes Soonyoung snap his mouth shut. "What's with the face?"

"She's sitting in shotgun." Soonyoung simply states, before scurrying to the drivers seat as you meet his gaze through the side-view mirror, eyebrows raised as if to ask, 'What are you waiting for' or 'Get the fuck in before I plan your funeral'. He hopes it's the former and not the latter because you're still hard to read.

Seungkwan looks over at you in shotgun where you meet his eye, your medusa gaze making him pale as Vernon and Chan walk up to his side. "Why do you look like a ghost?" Vernon asks, eyeing his best friend up and down as he watches Seungkwan swallow uneasily. "Just got reminded of why she's medusa is all." Soonyoung hears Chan's snort before climbing into the vehicle which blocks out the remainder of their conversation. "Having fun?" You snark out, taking a sip of the tea in your hand. "No, just thinking of whether you have nine lives since you're letting me drive again." Soonyoung states, his mouth moving before his brain even has a chance to process what he is saying. You pause mid-sip to meet his eyes, narrowing slightly, "Are you comparing me to a cat, Officer Kwon?" You ask, your voice low and dangerous. Soonyoung curses internally, shaking his head quickly.

"Maybe more of a panther instead of a cat, Ma'am." Soonyoung says, once again without thinking as he digs himself further into the metaphorical hole. He curses again. He really needs to stop doing that. He watches your eyes narrow even more, your lips pursed as he awaits for you to bite his head off.

"Boot." Soonyoung hesitates. "Yeah?" "I think you better start driving before you say something else that makes me push you out of the shop at max speed." "… Yes Ma'am."

"A couple of misdemeanors before lunch can only mean one thing," Chan starts, taking a seat in between Soonyoung and Vernon, placing down his tray of food. "We're about to have the worst second shift."

Soonyoung visibly grimaces at Chan's words. "Now, why would you say the forbidden words?" Seungkwan hisses out at Chan, who looks like he is all but contemplating flinging his half-eaten bowl of caesar salad at the younger boy.

"If the second half of our shit sucks, it's all because of you," Vernon deadpans out, pointing his fork at the younger boy and causing Chan shrink slightly in his seat. Soonyoung glances at Chan, "Have we not learned our lesson from the last time the forbidden words were said?"

The last time was referring to just a week ago when the ambush happened, which nearly caused the demise of himself and the academies best. If it wasn't for your quick thinking of climbing out through the back, switching places with the war bags to climb out of the boot, he would actually have been a pancake in a grave right about now.

"To be fair," Chan states as he glances at each of his fellow rookies, swallowing slightly at their expressions. "It wasn't like anything too bad happened." Soonyoung resists the urge to push Chan's face into his lunch as Seungkwan's eye twitches slightly and Vernon shakes his head before returning to his lunch, muttering under his breath.

On the other side of the seating area, Mingyu and Seokmin are having the time of their lives, teasing you for whatever had happened during roll call this morning. You try to resist the urge to shove their lunches in their faces. The keyword being try. Because a couple of seconds later, they are cleaning their faces with a few wet tissues that Seokmin grabbed from the counter after you decided to push both their heads into their lunches.

"That wasn't very nice." Mingyu whines out as he cleans the pasta sauce off of his face, making you snort. "And constantly making fun of me and my rookie is?" You pointedly quip back, taking a bite of your lunch. "We were just playing around." Mingyu says, his pout deepening, "You normally like our jokes." "They just aren't funny today, Gyu." You snap back making Seokmin frown at you, as you didn't bother to meet their eyes. You peer upwards to see Minghao sitting alone, two tables over, his earbuds in as he eats his lunch, making you grimace more.

Seokmin and Mingyu share a look, understanding the reason for your mood immediately. "Well, I'm gonna bother your dear brother with my jokes if you aren't in the mood for them today." Mingyu says, picking up his tray rather abruptly. You frown, feeling guilty for snapping at the older man. "I'm sorry." You say quietly, making Mingyu shake his head, a small sympathetic smile on his face. "Don't be," He reassures quietly. "I'm just keeping him company." You offer a small smile back before he leaves, walking to Minghao's table. He shoves Minghao hard, letting out a hearty laugh as Minghao scowls at the taller male and they start to bicker. You watch them fondly before looking towards Seokmin who grabs your hand and starts to trace circles on them with his thumb.

"You guys still haven't talked to each other, huh?" Seokmin asks, the question rhetorical seeing as how he already knows that from how far apart you and Minghao have been sitting at the morning briefings since that day.

However, you nod all the same, "Longest we've ever gone without speaking to each other." You whisper out, eyeing your older brother again. He seems to have gotten into an easy conversation with Mingyu. "Comparable with the time that I accidentally sold him out during our year at the academy."

Seokmin winces at that, remembering the 'Minghao Ice Out' as he and Mingyu referred it to when the two of you weren't around. It was the worst fight the two of you ever had. You had accidentally thrown Minghao under the bus for a mistake the two of you committed in the first month at the academy, causing the two of you to fail the given assignment.

You were brazen and left his side while he executed the wrong strategy compared to what the two of you had discussed beforehand. It was a mess and it ended up with both of you getting the worst punishments of your lives, leaving both of you fractured, in more ways than one. That held the record for the most number of days that you and Minghao had no contact, which was 14 days. The two of you only talked through texts or through your best friends, who were getting sick of playing messenger at that point. Who broke first? Mingyu and Seokmin did.

They locked the two of you in their kitchen and told you guys to fight it out and resolve it before they would even consider letting you two out. So, you and Minghao sat there for almost eight hours until you broke first, asking him if he was hungry. With full bellies and a lot of unspoken guilt, the two of you worked it out.

However, you doubt that it would happen again this time around, seeing as Minghao hasn't said a word to you nor does he wait for you to leave the house, taking night shifts sometimes to avoid you on your days off. On the days that you both had the day off, he would leave the house early in the morning while you were out for your run or in the shower with his laptop and study materials for the detectives exam, opting to study at the library instead of at home just to avoid you.

You even tried to change it up a few times, just so that the two of you would end up in the house at the same time, but he always managed to maneuver your workarounds. Curse you for either being so predictable or curse Minghao for knowing your habits so well because of how observant he is. The silence was driving you insane, but you were too stubbornly set in your way to not tell Minghao everything that was going on.

"I'm not going to force you to tell me what's going on with you, Nova." Seokmin says gently, continuing the circling on his thumb on your hand. "Nor are Mingyu and I going to force the two of you into a room to work it out, we aren't in our early twenties anymore where that would work." He jokes lightly, bringing a small smile to your face.

"But," Seokmin starts, locking eyes with you, concern etched in every part, "When you and Minghao had that fight ages ago, two weeks before your training officer exam, Minghao could see how worried you were and swallowed his ego just because he wanted you to be okay for the exam, despite whether or not it was his fault or yours."

You chew lightly on your bottom lip, remembering that fight. "His detectives exam is in two days, Nova, and whether you can see it or not, this fight is wearing him down as well." Seokmin admits, gesturing for you to look at Minghao. You turn to look at him, like really look at him. Minghao, whose hair was just a little more unkept. Minghao, who looks a little paler and skinnier, as if he had been skipping meals. Minghao, who you didn't realize had dark rings under his eyes, whose legs were shaking nonstop — which almost never happens because he has chastised you more than once for that bad habit. Your heart sinks. Seokmin is right.

"He needs you, Nova." Seokmin whispers out, the two of you still looking at the man sitting next to Mingyu, who looks like they are having a deep conversation as well. "He feels guilty for yelling at you, but he only said all those things because he cares about you. You know at the bottom of your heart that it's not his fault. Not this time."

Seokmin glances at his watch before giving your hand a squeeze and letting go. "Think about it." He says gently before giving you a squeeze on your shoulder as he goes to round up his rookie. You stand up, clearing your trash before feeling a pair of eyes on you. You turn to see Minghao staring at you, his lips pursed as he eyes you up and down.

You study him for a beat before giving him a small, weak smile and a nod. Minghao's eyes widen, just a fraction before he gives you a small nod and walks away with Mingyu and their rookies behind them, leaving you feeling emptier than when you had started lunch. "Ma'am?" Soonyoung queries, appearing by your side and making you push all your emotions to the side so you can compose yourself, turning to him with your faux determination. "Let's roll out, Boot."

Soonyoung swears that you haven't been this quiet and deep in thought since his first two days on the job. After walking in and somehow, convincing you to let him stay, your personality had gone full Nova.

You were snarky, witty, and you were the definition of the medusa drill sergeant he's heard about during his early days at the academy with the other three rookies. So, when it takes a turn and you don't quip back at his dumb comments, he knows that something is wrong.

"Are you and Officer Xu fighting?" He finds himself asking as he takes a turn from downtown to a more neighborhood part of the city. He watches you freeze slightly — almost unnoticeable — before you compose yourself and narrow your gaze onto him.

"And that's your business because?"

Soonyoung bites his bottom lip, wondering if he should prod even further. But when he thinks about it, he's already asked the question and you haven't bitten his head off so maybe this ishis chance to prod even further.

"It's just that the two of you hadn't had lunch together or sat next to each other once in the last two weeks since… that day." He says, his voice a little soft, periodically glancing at you as to still keep his eyes on the road. "Vernon also asked me just now during lunch and he said that he brought it up with Xu but he just shot it down to just the two of you having differing opinions on something." Soonyoung glances at you again, a slightly longer one this time to find you deep in thought, digesting his words. "I was also wondering…" He starts, hesitating slightly as he purses his lips, "If the differing opinions was me?" He asks, his voice soft with an edge of guilt.

He awaits your response, fully expecting you to tell him to 'Shut the fuck up' or that it was 'None of his business' but instead you sigh, as if you were too tired for all those unpleasantries today. "We're just having a disagreement on a personal matter, Boot." You simply state, opting to look out at the window to avoid Soonyoung's careful glances. "Nothing about you and nothing to concern yourself with."

Soonyoung bites his tongue, wondering if he should argue back. He decides against it, giving you a nod, even though you aren't looking at him. "Yes, Ma'am." He states, giving you a full glance. "But, if you ever need someone to talk to about older siblings, I might have a few tidbits to share myself."

That has you glancing back at the blonde haired man, "You have siblings?" You ask, your eyebrow raised, making him nod. "One older sister and a younger sister." He chirps out. He keeps a hand on the steering wheel as he uses his free one to pull out his personal phone from his side pocket, while his eyes are still on the road. He throws it at you, giving his password almost immediately, which makes you narrow your eyes at how trusting this guy is as he is urging you to go to his liked photos. Staring back at you is a picture of his family having a family dinner as Soonyoung holds onto a small brown Norwich Terrier.

"… Did you just call your dog your younger sister?" You ask, glancing towards the man as he nods furiously.

"Of course," He states, not noticing your bewildered expression. "Latte is a very beloved 'Kwon' family member if I do say so myself." He says, pride etched in his tone. "She also sits with us and eats with us every night." "… You're talking about the dog…" Soonyoung once again nods furiously despite the bewildered tone you are using.

"We also have fights!" Soonyoung provides, making your expression turn even more amused. "She barked at me the other day for not letting her eat the last of my galbi. She wouldn't come and cuddle me that whole day too." Soonyoung all but whines out with a small little pout on his face, recalling the memory from just over the weekend. "She also eats my slippers sometimes." He adds, shaking his head at the thought, "We feed her so many nice things, yet she still chooses to eat my slippers."

The laugh you let out surprises not only Soonyoung, but yourself as you try to stifle it back to get your Nova Training Officer mode back. Soonyoung stares at you, wide eyed, as you try to hide your smile behind your palm, looking away from him. An expression unlike the ones he's usually the cause of which makes his heart skip a beat slightly as he realizes how pretty you actually look when you laugh.

He had noticed it before, he wasn't blind of course. But he was never the one who caused it. It was always brought out by either Mingyu or Seokmin, once even Jun. But somehow, hearing your laugh come after something stupid he said or did, just sounds a hundred times sweeter.

He smiles at you softly without even realizing it as you clear your throat, flushing a little under his new intense gaze. "You're quite the character, Officer Kwon." You say, clearing your throat again as you cough, trying not to smile as his words keep playing in your head. "A little weird if you ask me."

Soonyoung scoffs slightly, a small smirk on his face. "Weird enough to make you laugh," He teases lightly, making you roll your eyes. "Because you said some stupid shit." "Stupid shit that still made you laugh, Officer Medusa."

You roll your eyes, "Don't push it, Riot." You warn, hoping your voice has actual malice in it. He fully turns to you, a small, mischievous glint in his eyes. "Yes, Ma'am." He says, a small triumphant grin on his face. The expression makes you roll your eyes, about to chastise him, when a blur of movement appears from the corner of your eye.

Your eyes widen as you watch a person run in-front of the shop, "Look out!" You call out, urgency in your voice as Soonyoung fully steps down on the brakes, screeching slightly but not before hitting the person, cracking a little bit of the windscreen. The two of you immediately slide out of the car and rush to the person's side to see a female in her early twenties lying on the ground. "Ma'am!" Soonyoung calls out, his voice loud with panic as some passerbys try to take a peek of what's happening, "Are you alright?" The girl, who looks like she's been crying, grips hard onto Soonyoung's arm as he tries to get her to sit upright to examine her.

You pull out your walkie immediately, "Control, this is 7-Adam-21, requesting an R.A for a female, early twenties, struck by a car. Sent to our location at," You pause, taking a look around before noticing a street sign, "15 Jameson Avenue." There is some static before a small murmur of 'Copy' comes through, making you stash your walkie.

"Ma'am." Soonyoung calls out to you, his slightly strained tone making you look at him as he holds up her wrist, "She has duct tape on her wrist."

Your heart sinks as your eyes widen at the realization, seeing the gray wraps around her wrist, worn and a little strewn out, making the gears in your head move. She has been abducted by someone.

Soonyoung peers back down at the crying girl, examining her. She has some cuts on her face, some dried blood on her hands and face, making his face turn into one of grimace as she begins to claw at his uniform.

"Please don't let him get to me!" She screams out through her sobs as she looks at Soonyoung with pleading eyes. "Please don't let him take me!" She wails out, "Please don't let him take me again!"

Soonyoung purses his lips, his eyes wide filled with concern, "Who?" He asks repeatedly as you feel your blood run cold as you eye her semi-bloodied and dirty clothes, your mouth getting dry as she keeps screaming intelligibly and saying a mixture of words at once. Soonyoung internally curses at the sight, only one thought going through his mind. Chan just had to say the words to make the second shift flip.

Even after being an officer for the past few years, you don't think you could ever get over the sounds of the BP monitors and the rushing of doctors around the room as you and Soonyoung rush the bed down the hallway to get her to a secure room. The doctors soon took over as the girl kept clawing at Soonyoung's arm, not wanting to let him go as she kept wailing and screaming.

"Dilated pupils." One of the doctors calls out as the other nurse hooks her up to the heartbeat monitor.

You watch as Soonyoung tries his best to soothe the girl, who you can tell is in shock and heavily drugged, "Shh," he keeps whispering to her as he holds her hand that is gripped tightly to his. "It's okay, you're safe."

She keeps crying as you stand beside Soonyoung, not wanting to crowd her before she starts to mutter out some tangible words. "Tara." She mutters out, her eyes slightly dazed yet focused on whatever is running through her head. "Tara." You frown at her words, once was a coincidence but twice is a pattern.

"Who's Tara?" You whisper out to her, reaching for her free hand as she tries to steady her gaze on you. She mutters out the other girls name one more time, seemingly still out of it before the doctors turn to you and Soonyoung, her eyes wide and stern. "You guys need to leave so we can treat her."

"What?" Soonyoung starts, opening his mouth to argue until you grab his wrist, squeezing it to say that it isn't the time as you notice the doctor's stern and alarmed gaze. "Let's go, Boot." You mutter out to him, shooting him a small glance. He purses his lips, wrestling with the decision of whether to argue with you or not before deciding the latter and just gives you a small nod. "You okay?" You ask him softly as he looks at the floor, each of his steps heavy with thoughts. "No." He answers honestly, "I hope it doesn't get worse than this though."

You open your mouth to reassure him when you hear someone clear their throat in-front of the two of you. You and Soonyoung turn to see Seungcheol there with his arms crossed. "Clearly you misinterpreted my words on the motor pools hit," Seungcheol says, standing in-front of Soonyoung, "Because hitting civilians was definitely the complete opposite of what I was advocating for with that presentation this morning."

"Sarge," You say, stepping between him and Soonyoung, your tone serious as he refocuses his gaze on you, "It wasn't Officer Kwon's fault." You defend, "She ran in front of our shop and Officer Kwon didn't have any time to react." You say softly, locking your fiery gaze with Seungcheol's stern one as you defended Soonyoung. Seungcheol has an unreadable expression on his face, his mouth opening to retort when a familiar monotone voice interrupts him.

"Fourth shop in two weeks is definitely a record, Nova." You grimace as you turned to face Jun who is leaning against the hallway wall with a teasing smirk on his face, making you roll your eyes. "Do I need to remind you that you currently have the record for most shops in the motor pool going to the crematory, Wen Junhui?"

He blinks in surprise before lifting his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright." He says, the teasing grin still on his face, "Don't go full Nova on me." You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the older man as he stands beside Seungcheol. "What are you doing here anyways? Vanguard didn't have enough cases for you in New York?"

Jun has been away on a Vanguard Mission that was working with the FBI on, catching a Mafia Heiress, who has been on the run after her brother had run their family operation to the ground. He told you and the rest that he was going to be gone for the rest of the month, but that doesn't seem to be the case as he stands in front of you in the flesh.

Jun shrugs, "They relocated me back to LA for the time being because mystery heiress managed to avoid our trap and is back on the run. Sources say that she's turning up in LA so we hope that happens." He eyes you with a small glint, "Joshua also sends his regards by the way."

At that, you do give him a small smile at the mention of your childhood friend. Agent Joshua Hong is a FBI Agent who runs Sentinels, a special unit in the FBI that is a taskforce to catch all well-known criminals who are either on the run or off the grid. He had offered you a job after you finished training at the academy, but being dead set on sticking by Minghao, Seokmin and Mingyu's side, you declined, saying that you would rather have two feet on the ground instead of up in the air for majority of your career.

"Glad to see that he still remembers me after not responding to all my messages." You mutter out, rolling your eyes before refocusing on the case, "Are you here to lead the case?"

Jun immediately goes into Sergeant mode at your question, his posture straightened as he shakes his head, his face immediately going serious. "Vanguard unfortunately has another important case that I need to get back to after this, but Sergeant Choi called me here for you to give me a rundown to see if I can afford to lend you any backup." He glances at Seungcheol, "Which we are also quite scarce for at the moment."

Seungcheol lets out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes close in annoyance. "Just what I needed to hear today." He mutters. Jun gives him a sympathetic look, patting his shoulder before turning back to you and your rookie. "Give me the rundown and we can go from there." Jun stays silent the entire time you and Soonyoung give him the rundown, from when the girl had run in-front of your shop — which had Soonyoung wincing slightly at Seungcheol's scowl — to the ride to the hospital as you kept trying to ask her questions that all ended up unanswered due to the fact that she was having a hard time focusing.

"She also mentioned someone named Tara." You recall, hearing the last few words that she said. Seungcheol and Jun share a glance as you start to piece the stuff together in your head, "Could it be another girl?" Jun's face hardens slightly. "Could be. We will need to run the names to see if anything turns up but the detectives are unfortunately still swarmed with their own cases."

"Already covered." Seungcheol says, taking a glance towards you before looking back at Jun. "Xu is meant to take the detectives exam in two days, and given his really good work from the sniper case, the brass has deemed that he could use the practice to give him the leg up to really prepare him for the examination."

At the mention of Minghao's name, you freeze a little, wincing at the thought of interacting with your step-brother at the pivotal moment of the case. Seungcheol notices the wince, frowning slightly before refocusing on Jun who nods at his words. "Cool, I can probably only lend you Jihoon for the time-being as we wrap up the monstrous cases that was left to me while I was in New York." "Wow," You say, composing yourself slightly as you switch to tease Jun, "Definition of a great 'welcome back'."

Jun rolls his eyes before giving you snarky grin, "You know it!" He cheers, before excusing himself to call Jihoon, the second in command of the Vanguard team. Seungcheol turns to you and your rookie. "Officer Kwon, could you get control to ID the girl and send it back to your box?" He eyes you, "I need to speak with your training officer."

Soonyoung gives you a brief glance as you grimace slightly, cursing Seungcheol's good observational skills as you can already guess what he wants to ask. You give Soonyoung a small nod, asking him to leave to which he gives you a small reassuring nod back before walking out of the hallway to walkie back to control. Despite yourself, you smile slightly as you watch Soonyoung walk away before turning to Seungcheol, who has an eyebrow raised. "Getting along well with your rookie, are you?"

Your eyes widen for a fraction before you compose yourself and shake your head while clearing your throat. "Well," you start, "you were the one who asked me to give him a chance."

Seungcheol scoffs before settling back to the matter at hand. "You and Xu having a scuffle again?" He asks, plain and straight to the point. You grimace. "Yeah," You answer honestly. There is no point hiding it from your hawk eyed boss. He probably knew that you and Minghao had been having problems since the second day of rookie season. He just has a habit of not interfering or mentioning it till shit either hits the fan or it becomes too much to be dealt with professionally. You don't quite know if its the former, the latter, or just a precautionary measure at this point.

"But, we've been dealing with cases professionally amidst our fight, we should be okay working together for this." Seungcheol gives you a look, one that you've come to understand that he is amused but still in disbelief, which makes you internally roll your eyes. "We will be fine," You reassure once more, your tone hardening slightly. He gives you one last up and down before nodding. "Alright," He says, "It better not come back to my desk as another abnormal paperwork then." You are about to give him another round of reassurance when the man you two were talking about decides to walk down the hallway, with Vernon hot on his tail.

"Got your message." Minghao says, reaching to where you and Seungcheol are standing as he gives you the firmest and briefest nod possible before fixing his eyes on Seungcheol for his mission.

"Good," Seungcheol simply says, "We're just waiting for the base info from Officer Kwon." He peers over your shoulder, "And speaking of Officer Kwon." The three of you turn to find Soonyoung walking back to the four of you with a pep in his step, "Victim's name is Julie Wilson." He speaks, reading it off of his city issued phone, "Twenty two, college student who was reported missing by her dorm-mate two weeks ago." You grimace slightly at the information, "Did you find anything about Tara?"

Minghao's eyebrows furrow at that information and beats Soonyoung before he has a chance to answer. "There's another missing girl?" He asks, turning his attention to you. You compose your nerves, staring at your brother who has been avoiding you like the plague as you nod. "Julie kept mentioning a girl named Tara on our way here and when she was on the hospital bed," You swipe your bottom lip with your tongue, contemplating your words. "She kept saying she was sorry for leaving her."

Minghao's eyes darken at the realization. "Fuck," He mutters lowly, running a hand through his hair. "Language." Seungcheol calmly says before resting a hand on his shoulder. "Use the facts that we know and start from there." Seungcheol instructs as Minghao gives him a curt nod. "Control is still searching for any missing persons reports about a girl named Tara." Soonyoung answers, redirecting it back to your question, "They said the information will be redirected to our box the moment they find answers."

Minghao gives a nod before turning to Seungcheol, who raises his eyebrow, "It's your case, Detective. Give your orders." Minghao's eyes widen for a second, slightly taken aback before he mutters out a 'Right' and turns to you, "You and your Boot can start canvassing around the area where you found her." "You mean where her boot hit her with the shop like Mad Max." Seungcheol points out.

You roll your eyes at the statement, "Again," You pointedly say, glaring at Seungcheol, who looks like he was having a hard time keeping a smirk off of his face. "Kwon did not hit the girl with our shop. She ran in front of it."

Minghao, who looks like he has a ghost of a small smile on his face despite the two of you not being on good terms — probably because he is happy seeing you squirm — waves his hands. "Okay," He relents. "The two of you can start by canvassing the neighbourhood, do door to door if you need to. We need to know if anyone has seen this girl or saw where she was running from." He pauses as you watch the gears turn in his head, "Did she say anything about who her captive is?"

You shake your head, "She was heavily drugged by the person and I'm guessing she probably also doesn't remember how long she was running for before we found her." Minghao grimaces slightly at the information, "Right," he mutters out bitterly, "Because our job isn't hard enough as it is." You hold back a snort at his statement before Seungcheol speaks, "I'll assign Kim and Lee to the search as well. The downtown area of Jameson Street is too large for one shop to be canvassing alone."

Minghao nods before letting Seungcheol take his leave, probably to walkie to Mingyu and Seokmin about the new canvass they are assigned to, leaving you and Minghao standing next to each other. Minghao takes a quick glance at you, making you do the same as the awkwardness starts to settle in at the fact that this might be the first time the two of you are full-on speaking in the last two weeks other than the occasional, 'Here's the report' or 'Groceries are in the fridge'.

Soonyoung's eyes flit between the two of you before he locks eyes with Vernon, who seems to have done the same thing, clocking the awkward tension between the two of you. They share a silent conversation as the two of you try (and fail) to not make it obvious before Soonyoung clears his throat.

You lock eyes with your rookie, snapping out of the awkward haze you were in as you straighten up slightly before shuffling over to him.

"I guess I'll see you later." You mumble out to Minghao, the awkward tension getting more palpable as each second passes. "Yeah," He mutters, scratching the back of his nape, "See you."

With that, you take off down the hallway, your heart in your throat as Soonyoung trails behind you, almost struggling to keep up with your fast pace. You burst through the doors of the hospital, finally catching your breath, the tension making you feel like you're suffocating as Soonyoung slows down to your side.

"Are you alright?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he crouches down to your height. You let out a huff, "Never better." Your voice sounding strained as you straight yourself up. "Let's go catch this bastard."

REPORT 15 OF 546 - BEARING THE EMOTIONS OF THE WORLD

Canvassing the neighborhood was definitely at the bottom of the list for your favourite patrol tasks. It was good policing, sure, but it was only ever done when an abduction and/or a kidnapping had taken place and from the statistics, 7/10 times, it was always a female. 3/5 of the times that you canvass, you won't be able to find anything, which was definitely what had happened yesterday. You, Mingyu and Seokmin had divided up the search grid to try to at least get some of the ground covered but with almost a new call happening every 10 minutes, the three of you only managed to canvass 1/6 of the search grid.

Minghao and Vernon had stayed behind to question Julie at the hospital, waiting for her to detox so that he could ask her questions while the memories were still fresh, but ended up not getting a lot to go off of. He had updated the three of you in the group chat that you guys shared, meaning that you had read the messages before having a restless night of sleep.

"Morning." You greet lowly, taking a seat between Seokmin and Mingyu with a small cup of oolong tea in your hand. You take in their appearances, their hair just slightly more unkept than usual along with matching small frowns on their faces as they murmur out greetings of their own. You grimace slightly at their expressions, "I take it night shift didn't find anything after they picked up the baton?" You ask, hopes that you are wrong shattering as Mingyu gives you a heavy nod.

"They got through a bigger part than we did but," Mingyu trails off, shaking his head, "Still nothing on where the missing girl could've been." You figured as much. Minghao didn't come home until 5am in the morning to take a quick nap, shower, and grab a new uniform set before he was out of the house again.

Cases like these always disrupted your morning routine, so while Minghao was having his nap, you made a batch of Pu-er tea, Minghao's favourite, to help him with the nerves and pressure. You left it to steep on the stove before hearing his shuffles, making you head back into your room to avoid meeting him but hoping the tea would be enough of a peace offering for now.

You laid in bed with bated breath as you heard him whip his room door open, taking a few steps before his shuffling came to a stop. There was silence for a few beats before you heard him let out a soft sigh as he shuffled around a little more and the stove was turned off. When you had emerged from your room an hour later, long after he left, you noticed that the pot was less than half filled, making a small smile appear.

"Alright," Seungcheol says from the front, making you snap out of your thoughts as you peer at the front to see Jihoon, Seungcheol and Minghao standing at the stand beside the projection screen.

You watch Minghao take a sip from his tumbler, making your heart clench slightly before he takes the lead for the presentation. "As you all know, yesterday at 14:45, Officer Nova and Kwon came across Julie Wilson, who was seen fleeing from an unknown area with duct tapes wrapped around her wrist." Minghao gravelly begins, his eyes sharp as he changes to the next slide, "Our victim was heavily drugged and she was unable to tell us how long she had been running for or what exactly her captive looked like."

He inhales heavily, "However, we have reason to believe there may be a second target that Julie mentioned leaving behind," He changes the slide to show a girl, who looked just slightly younger than Julie, a bright smile on her face that makes your blood run cold. "Her name is Tara Hill, twenty-one years old who was reported missing three weeks ago."

Jihoon picks up a stack of papers from the stand and starts to hand them out to everyone with details on it such as her last known address, her common route to her school, as well as printed out images of Tara. You feel a pit of dread in your stomach looking at the pictures that Minghao, Jihoon and Vernon had managed to dig up from the database, her bright smile making you gnaw on your bottom lip as your determination to find her spikes.

"I've approved extra shifts and O.T until we find this girl," Seungcheol says as he eyes the room, "Everyone canvasses between calls, understood?" A murmur of 'understood' echoes through the room, making Seungcheol nod.

"Alright, Sergeant Jihoon and I will be running base back here, manning the tip line so if you hear or see anything at all, ask them to call the number on the piece of paper handed back to you so that we can collate the information and find the girl faster." Seungcheol says, gesturing to himself and Jihoon who looks like he would rather be anywhere else but here. Jihoon glances towards you, making you give him a small thumbs up, to which he replies with a roll of his eyes and a subtle slice across his neck, making you grin slightly at his antics.

You and Jihoon weren't close but being Jun's right-hand meant that you two would work together during the cases when Vanguard needed patrols help with their cases. Meaning that the two of you had a small banter situation going on that was almost the same as when you were dealing with the two lanky men that were seated on either side of you.

"Let's do some good policing." Seungcheol says, grabbing your attention back as he dismisses the whole room. You stand up, stretching slightly as Seokmin glances at you. "Talked to Hao yet?" He asks, making you shake your head 'no'. "The case is taking up all his time right now," You state, glancing towards your brother, who has dark rings under his eyes. "We need to solve this today no matter what." You lowly state, glancing towards Mingyu and Seokmin. "Hao needs to be able to focus on his detectives exam tomorrow."

They both give you a firm nod before rallying up their rookies so that they could get a start on the canvassing before any calls come through. The gears turn quickly in your head as you made your way to your shop where Soonyoung is placing the war bags in the trunk.

"We're making a quick stop at the hospital," You announce to him, making your way to the passenger seat of the car. His eyebrows furrow as he closes the boot. "What for?" He asks, his head tiling to the side as you turn to look at him. "To ask Julie some questions before we start our canvass." You nonchalantly respond, making his eyes narrow more in confusion. "Aren't Xu and Vernon on that?" he asks, making his way to the drivers seat as you slide into the passenger seat.

You shrug, "Doesn't hurt to ask another round just to see if we can get more information." You state, "Besides, Tara can't wait." Soonyoung stares at you for a beat before nodding. "You're the boss." He states, grabbing his seatbelt to click it on as you give him a small smirk. "Glad to see you're good with authority now." You quip, making him huff out a laugh. "Figured I would give it a try since we were bonding yesterday." You narrow your eyes slightly at that comment. "We weren't bonding, Boot." Soonyoung nods his head, seemingly believing it, but the smile on his face says otherwise, "Whatever you say, Ma'am." You roll your eyes as he shifts the car into drive and steers out of the parking lot.

"He grabbed me when I was walking on my way home from college." Julie sniffles out, her eyes slightly swollen with tears as you look at her, sympathy written all over your face. "I never saw him but," she trails off, her eyes watering more as she recalls the memory, "I just felt the cloth go over my nose and then everything went black."

Soonyoung notes all the answers onto his notepad as you sit on the stool beside her bed, "Do you remember anything about the house?" You gently ask, handing her a tissue to wipe her eyes with.

She dabs at her eyes as she shakes her head 'no'. "He kept me in the basement with Tara, only coming to see us to bring us food and wave a gun around to try and scare the both of us." Her voice catches slightly as she sniffles, "He always wore a halloween mask over his face, to conceal his identity from us."

She lets out a shaky exhale, "I think he liked it, when he threatened us," She sobs out, making you soothe her as you hand her another tissue paper, telling her that it is alright and that she is safe.

You and Soonyoung share a glance. "Anything else?" He gently prompts, his voice soft so as to not scare the traumatized girl, "Anything that can help us find this place and Tara?"

Julie hesitates for a second, taking a quick glance at you before looking at Soonyoung, "I might be crazy but…" she takes a sharp inhale, "I kept hearing a voice shout 'Fatality' every few minutes." She turns to look at you, her eyes begging. "Tara could never hear it but I swear it was there."

Your eyes widen at her statement, whipping out your phone, typing in something into your search bar before flipping the screen to her. "Was it this?" You ask her softly, pressing play on the YouTube video as the sound fills the room, making her eyes widen. "Yes." She breathes out making a small grin appear on your face. But before you say anything, there is a knock on the door. You and Soonyoung whip your heads to the door to find Minghao standing there with Vernon behind him, giving you an anxious look as your brother is silently seething.

"What are you doing here, Nova?" He asks, his arms crossed as he looks between you and your rookie. You curse internally at your brothers expression before exiting the room, making Soonyoung give a quick glance to Julie. "We'll check on you later," Soonyoung reassures her, giving her a small smile before he shoves his notepad and pen into his patch pocket.

Minghao eyes you, his arms crossed and posture rigid. "Well?" He asks, the tone of his voice teetering on the edge of rage as he raises an eyebrow. "I'm waiting."

Your eye twitches at his tone, "We came by on our way to canvass, didn't think it would be a big deal—" "Protocol is key here, Nova." Minghao interrupts, his voice hard and rough as he seethes, making you take a step back as you meet his gaze. "Everything goes through me or Sarge, Nova. You know that."

Soonyoung's eyes narrow slightly. "What's the problem here?" He asks, making your heart drop as you watch your brother's glare shift to your rookie. "We're all trying to catch the same guy here."

Minghao lets out a scoff. "Why are you talking right now, Officer Kwon?" He asks, his brazen voice making Soonyoung frown. "Do you have a problem with me or something?" Soonyoung asks, his voice raising slightly and making Minghao give him another cutthroat glare as you heave out a sigh. "Enough!" You exclaim out exasperatedly, placing your hands on both of their chest as you sternly glare at the both of them before pushing Soonyoung backwards and behind you, so that your brother's focus shifts to you.

"Did she tell you about the voice saying 'Fatality'?" You ask, making Minghao's expression twist into one of confusion. "What?" He asks after a moment of silence, his eyebrows furrowing even more, "'Fatality'?" You nod eagerly as you watch the gears turn in his head. You sigh. Watching his brain lag, you pull out your phone again to find the sound. "Listen." You say playing the YouTube video as a video game theme plays in the background before the announcer voice booms out through the speaker, "Fatality."

Minghao's eyes widen in recognition before he locks eyes with your excited ones, "Pixie," He says aloud, his voice brimming on excitement, "You're a genius."

You feel your neck flush slightly, warm with pride as your brother positively acknowledges you for the first time in weeks, the nickname bringing a warmth to your chest. Soonyoung and Vernon eye each other, confusion etched on their faces. "Sorry, what?" Soonyoung asks, his eyebrows furrowed, feeling a little lost as he eyes the two of you, who are buzzing from finding the clue to solve the case.

You flip your phone over for Vernon and Soonyoung to see as they peer at the screen, seeing the grainy pixelated characters fight it out. Vernon squints at the screen, "Is that Mortal Kombat?"

You nod eagerly, humming out a sound of affirmation, "The 1992 version to be exact." The two rookies look over at you, shock etched onto their faces as they look at you as if you had grown a second head. You frown at their expression, feeling a little awkward under their intense gazes, "What?" You ask, your voice tensing as you give them a stare.

Vernon immediately breaks his gaze from your face, clearing his throat as Soonyoung closes his mouth, swallowing. "Nothing," Soonyoung murmurs, making you narrow your eyes before you get back on track and pull out the search grid.

"Anyway." You mutter out, unraveling the search grid and placing it on the coffee table nearby, allowing the three men to see. "Mortal Kombat is normally at arcades and there are seven in our search grid," You gesture for Soonyoung to give you the pen, circling the seven arcades in the area. "However," You murmur as you start to cross out five of them, "There are only two old timey arcades in the area that have the oldest version of Mortal Kombat released in 1992. Which has the voice line that Julie recognizes." You put more emphasis on the two arcades that lay on either sides of the search grid.

"We can take one and radio Seok and Gyu to take the other." Minghao suggests, making your eyes widen. "You want to go with me?" You ask, your voice coming out softer than you intended, making Minghao's expression soften as well. "Yeah," He says, hesitating slightly, "Unless you don't want me to. I can get Gyu or Seok to go with you instead."

You immediately shake your head, straightening your posture, "I would love you to have my back again." You say softly, making a small smile appear on Minghao's face, giving you a firm nod. "Let's catch this bastard then." You smile to yourself, locking eyes with your brother's determined ones. "Took the words right out of my mouth."

Stopping right outside the old-timey arcade makes you freeze, feeling a wave of nostalgia hit you as you recall old memories of going to the arcades with Minghao and your parents.

Slamming the car door shut, you scan the area as Soonyoung appears by your side. "Judging from how loud the machines are," You murmur, tracing the edge of the building as you look at the neighbourhood houses surrounding the arcade.

"Along this street right?" Soonyoung asks, catching your drift as he points towards a row of houses right at the opposite end of where the arcade entrance and Mortal Kombat are.

You nod, watching Minghao get out of his own shop and walk towards the two of you. "I've updated the Watch Commander and Vanguard already. Gyu just informed me that they've reached the other arcade and are doing door to door now."

You hum in understanding, gesturing to the row opposite the entrance, "We were just saying that it has to be this row of houses because Mortal Kombat is right there." You say, pointing towards where the machine is, hearing the sound effects.

"Brings back memories, huh?" Minghao asks, making you nod before you glance towards the houses. "Let's start." You and Minghao pause for a moment to canvas the outer area of the houses before you land on one where a security guard is sitting on his porch.

"Maybe we should ask the neighbours first." You say, glancing towards Minghao, "Security guys are always nosy." He nods, agreeing with you, "I'll take Chwe and we'll do a knock on the first house then." He states, making you nod as his eyes narrow on you. "Stay safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do." He warns, making you shrug, giving him a small smile. "No promises."

He continues to stare at you, making you shrink slightly at his brotherly glare, a reminder that the two of you still have some unresolved issues before you relent and nod, "I'll be careful." That answer seems to satisfy him as he gives you a curt nod before walking towards the first house down the street.

"Let's go, Boot." You solemnly command, making him give you a small nod as you feel your skin prickle, slightly on edge as you use your chin to nudge towards the security guard, "Show me what you got." He nods, walking towards the house before approaching the security guard as you stand a little bit away but still in earshot of him and the civilian, accessing the streets for dodgy houses and just observing your surroundings.

"Hello there, sir." Soonyoung greets chirpily, making the older man stand up to access him with a wary smile on his face. "Good morning." The security guard greets, "How can I help you?" A dog barks in the distance, making you glance towards that area as you take a few slow steps down the street, still on high alert with your ears perked to listen to Soonyoung's conversation. "…and we were wondering if you saw anything out of the ordinary?"

"No, nothing that I can recall," The man says as something catches your attention from the corner of your eye, making you pause your slow walk. You turn to the right to see the security guard's car window slightly wound down, something inside reflecting sunlight in your direction.

You squint at it, curious before you peer upwards to see Soonyoung still deep in conversation with him. You chew at your bottom lip before waking towards the car, glancing every few steps to see if the security guard is watching you.

"Have you seen these two girls at all?" You hear Soonyoung ask as you quietly approach the car. "No, not at all." The man answers, shifting slightly, "Uh, are they okay?" You peer into the opened window, squinting slightly as your eyes flit through the amount of things in the backseat of his car before it lands on something that makes your blood run cold.

Their voices muffle slightly as you spot a halloween mask in the backseat of the car. Your head immediately whips upwards. "Kwon!" You yell, getting the blonde's attention as you whip out your gun, pointing it at the security guard. The guard, who seemed to have sensed danger, immediately pulls out a pistol from his right back-pocket, pointing it straight at Soonyoung, making your eyes widen in horror.

"MOVE!" You quickly shout, making Soonyoung dive right, just in the nick of time as the guard took his first shot, missing Soonyoung by just a few centimeters. You fire a few shots of your own, barely missing him as he sprints to his porch, whipping the front door open and clambering inside. You internally curse at all your missed shots before you watch Soonyoung immediately stand and run after the man, his gun out.

"Kwon!" You call out to him, wanting to reason that the two of you should wait for backup but he interrupts you. "I'm going in!" He yells, feeling adrenaline coursing through his veins before he disappears through the front door.

You yell out a very loud 'Fuck' at your rookie's new heroic spirit that you no doubt have instilled in him in the past two weeks after the incident at the house. You peer to your left to see Minghao and Vernon already dashing down the street, making you weigh your options. You could either sprint in after Soonyoung or wait for Minghao and Vernon to get here. The only problem with the latter is that the suspect is armed and your rookie isn't exactly a top-notch shot. As you hear another gunshot go off in the house, the decision is long made for you as your body begins to move on it's own as you sprint into the house, ignoring Minghao's cries for you.

Soonyoung swears that his blood has never pumped this hard in his ears. Never when he was performing his heart out in-front of tens and thousands of people, never when he was practicing the hardest choreography that he has ever done and especially not during the absolute episode of his first shift.

However, as he rounds the corners of the empty house, he swears his heart starts to work overtime. After blatantly avoiding your calls for him, he's as quiet as a mouse, weaving through the multiple corners of the house before ending up in the backroom, his eyes fleeting around the room on high alert. He rounds the last corner, peering into the last room of the house, a tiny backroom that seemingly has only one access point. Remembering his training, he steps into the room and scans it, closing the door quietly behind him.

This is the last room in the house and if the guard isn't here, that would mean…

His thoughts trail off as he notices an open wardrobe, light filtering into it slightly and making him frown as he walks closer to it. He moves some of the hangers out of the way before noticing the makings of a hidden door. His eyes widen. "Bingo," he mutters to himself, his hand reaching for the door to whip it open when something stops him.

Or someone for the matter.

Soonyoung almost yelps out in surprise as he feels a hand on his shoulder, whipping around with his finger already on the trigger of his gun to face a very angry you. "You're a fucking idiot, Kwon Soonyoung." You quietly hiss out under your breath, your rage-filled tone making him give you a small sheepish smile. "You could've been killed-" You start to chastise before he interrupts you.

"Ma'am," He quietly states, trying not to flinch at the intensity of your glare. "You can yell at me later, the guy is down there." He reasons, gesturing towards the hidden door. He watches as your jaw clenches slightly. "Fine." You state, "But this isn't over." You say, walking in front of him, mumbling under your breath how you got saddled with the most reckless rookie ever as you take point at the right side of the door.

Soonyoung watches you, his heartbeat still pounding in his ears as you shoot him a look with your eyebrows raised, "Are you waiting for Christmas?" You hiss out, gesturing your gun towards the other side of the door, "Get the fuck over here."

Soonyoung's eyes widen as he scrambles to the left of the door. He is definitely going to get an earful from you later about how badly this could've ended for him. He watches you take a deep breath before signaling to him that you will open the door on the count of three. He nods, making you turn to the door, your hand up before counting up.

As soon as your third finger goes up and you whip the door open, making Soonyoung point his gun inside, his finger alert on the trigger and he peers down a musty old staircase. "Clear," He quietly whispers out before he shuffles forward, to begin his descent down the stairs with you right on his sixth.

He switches the flashlight on at the top of his gun as he continues to walk further down the creaking staircase, his heart in his throat as he startles at every new sound. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, the room is eerily quiet, only filled with the sounds of his and your slow breathing as well as the ventilation fan that is working overtime at the corner of the room.

Soonyoung notices two doors on either side of the room, which are mostly concealed behind many high shelves and boxes. He takes a small glance towards you, silently asking what the two of you should do, making you chew on your bottom lip before signaling to him that the two of you will need to split up.

It is dangerous for sure, Soonyoung understands how dangerous the situation is, but if the two of you end up going into the same room, it's even riskier as he could trap the two of you inside. The guard has the advantage at the moment, he is hiding and because this is his own house, he knows the ins and outs of everything. Soonyoung gives you a small curt nod as he pieces everything together before he slowly walks towards the right side of the room. He shines his flashlight and gun at every nook and corner that he sees, rounding each high shelf until he reaches the other side of the room, the door right next to him.

His eyes narrow slightly at the hatch on the door before he presses himself to the left wall of the door, his right hand on his gun while his left one rests on the latch. He gives himself a mini countdown before opening the locked door, peering inside to see Tara lying on the floor. His eyes widen, "Tara?" he says aloud making the young girl peer up at him, squinting slightly at the flashlight as Soonyoung takes her appearance in, his heart sinking slightly at her sullen eyes, pale lips, and dried blood all over her face. She scoots backwards, making him stash his gun as he raises his hands in surrender, not wanting to scare her even more as he makes his way towards her.

"It's okay." He mumbles to her, slowly approaching, "I'm with the LAPD." He watches as recognition floods her face, making her eyes fill with tears as he notices her recognize his uniform. He wastes no time crouching down next to her, "You're going to be okay." He soothes as he uses strength to rip off the duct tape on her arms, making her stay stationary to the wall before he moves towards the wrapped duct tape on her ankles.

"Look out!" Tara shrieks beside him, making him whip around, only to have his head slammed in by a hard metal object. He groans lowly, falling to the floor as his surroundings become slightly disorientated, his heart racing while his head throbs in his ears.

He hears Tara's muffled yelling but can't seem to make sense of it as his vision focuses in and out. He faintly notices the silhouette of the guard, making him curse internally as he tries to force himself to get up, to focus on reaching for his gun that is still attached to his duty belt.

He hears the muffled cocking of the pistol, his blood in his ears and his heart hammering against his chest, making him squeeze his eye shut, almost as if he was trying to will himself into getting up. He faintly hears the man chuckle before the house shakes, making Soonyoung open his eyes to see dust coming down from the ceiling, making the guard panic before he dashes out of the room.

Soonyoung, slowly regaining his focus, stands up without a second thought as his blood boils slightly at the thought of the guard making him dash out of the room.

"Wait!" Tara yells out, through a choked sob, "Please don't leave me." She begs, making Soonyoung stand at the door, his pulse still running a million miles an hour. "You're safe," He calls out to her before giving her a small reassuring smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "I'll be back." He promises before he gets out of the room, whipping his gun around, trying to spot the guard. He sees a flash of a shadow, immediately pointing in it's direction just to see the guard escape through a thin window at the corner of the room. He silently curses as he hears footsteps from the stairs, whipping around to see Minghao and Vernon with their guns out, descending down at a rapid pace.

"Kwon!" He hears you cry out as you come into view, your face full of concern. Vernon's eyes widen upon seeing Soonyoung's head. "Shit," Vernon mutters, "Are you alright?"

Soonyoung quickly nods, "I'm alright but the guy's on the run and someone needs to stay with Tara." Vernon and Minghao take a quick glance at each other before Minghao raises an eyebrow, eyeing the two boots. "Well, it's not going to be either one of you," He says sternly. "Get out of here and go catch the guy."

Soonyoung and Vernon's eyes widen before they immediately dash out through the open window, making Minghao turn to you, "I'll stay with Tara." He says, his tone having an edge of finality in it, "Take the shop and go give them backup." Minghao knew that you were a better shot at the end of the day, and if it came to it, you won't hesitate to take it if the guy doesn't surrender. Knowing that there is no time to argue, you give him a curt nod before you race up the stairs to get into your parked shop.

Soonyoung sprints down the neighbourhood streets, barely hearing the sirens as his eyes zero in on the guard running through the neighbourhood park. Soonyoung feels his lung's gasping for air but decides to ignore it, sprinting with Vernon, the two of them hot on the guards tail.

Soonyoung's mind is blank as he jumps over hurdles after hurdles before he sees the guard trip, dropping his pistol. He pushes his limits more and forces himself to run just a little bit faster to catch up with the guy before he can get up.

However, lady luck is not on his side as the guy ditches the gun and begins to sprint again. "Stay down!" He vaguely hears Vernon yelling from behind him as he chases after the guard once again. He barely registers the siren sounds from yours and his shop before you stop at the street right next to the exit he was heading to. You pull out your gun and intercepted the guy, yelling "Freeze!" making him raise his hands in surrender.

Soonyoung, who feels the adrenaline in his veins, the rush of blood to his head and visions of the girls trapped in the basement, only sees red as he tackles the guy. You stand there, frozen as you watch your rookie aim fist after fist at the man's head.

"Kwon!" You immediately yell, stashing your gun before you curl your arm into his bicep, halting his rage and making him peer up at you, his chest heaving as his eyes glaze over. "That's enough." You lowly hiss, glaring right into his eyes as he takes in heavy breaths. "He's done."

The glaze in his eyes clears as he takes a sharp inhale, as if he was just registering what he had done, peering back down to the guard, whose face is starting to get swollen and bruised.

"Hook him up, Boot." You calmly say before yanking your arm out from underneath his as Soonyoung swallows, feeling his throat suddenly dry up before he scrambles to follow your instruction, flipping the suspect over and handcuffing him. Soonyoung takes a quick glance at Vernon, whose eyes are wide at the spectacle, seemingly at a lost for words as Soonyoung feels the adrenaline start to slow, his head running a million miles per minute at what he had just done. He is definitely going to get it later.

The four of you stand in Seungcheol's office, giving him the rundown and debrief as Minghao calmly relays the facts to the man, with you retelling your part of what had happened in the house. You glance every now and then at your rookie, who is definitely zoning out the rest of the room.

You tense at the slight bit of concern that floods your veins as you stare at the man, who looks like he is wrestling with his inner thoughts, making you sigh internally, knowing you will need to talk to him later.

As the debrief wraps up, Seungcheol gives you and Minghao a nod of approval with a small smile on his face, "Good work, the two of you." He praises, his eyes fleeting between the two of you, before he glances towards your rookies behind the two of you.

"You two," He starts, making your rookies lock eyes with him, "You're dismissed. I need to speak with your training officers."

You glance behind to see the two rookies glance at each other before giving Seungcheol a firm nod and leaving the room. Seungcheol turns his gaze back to you and Minghao, studying the two of you for a beat. "I take it the two of you haven't made up yet?"

The abrupt question startles you, making you blink at your watch commander as you see Minghao doing the same from the corner of your eye. "Not yet, sir." Minghao says, locking eyes with you. "But we will solve this tonight."

The finality in his tone makes your heart stutter slightly, still wrestling with the choice of whether to tell Minghao or not. Seungcheol nods, "That's all I needed to hear." He says, sounding pleased with himself. If this was any other situation, you would have rolled your eyes at his antics before giving a sarcastic comment, but it has been a long day and you need to save your energy for dealing with Minghao.

Minghao and you leave Seungcheol's office, the tension definitely palpable in the air before Minghao reaches a set of benches right before the locker rooms, plopping down onto it as he let out a soft groan. He stretches slightly as you silently stare at him, awkwardly shuffling on your feet and making him glance up a you, his expression soft as he pats the bench.

You take the cue and sit down next to him, resting your palms on your knees as silence enveloped the two of you. Your tongue traces your bottom lip, wetting it as you feel the tension get more unbearable, until you can't take it anymore.

"Hao," You start, taking a shaky inhale, "Look I—" "Stop." He says softly, interrupting you before you can start to ramble. "Let me talk first."

You quiet down almost immediately, giving him the floor as he runs a hand through his hair before locking eyes with you. "I'm sorry for whatever I said in the car the other day." He mutters out, mirroring you as he rests his palms against his knees. "I wasn't trying to force you into telling me what happened but," he hesitates slightly, "I'm worried, Pixie."

He runs a hand through his hair again, almost tangling it in. "You've been more reckless ever since that day you had that talk with Seungcheol in his office." Minghao softly admits, a soft edge of frustration laced in his words, "You've also changed. Your methods have changed, you're excusing Kwon's actions sometimes and you stand up for him every chance you get even when you were advocating for him to quit since the first hour on day one."

Minghao takes a shaky inhale. "You don't need to tell me whatever is making you feel like this, Pixie," he admits, his tone slightly resigned as he stares at the floor, "But I need to know that you will make it home every night and that you will be able to solve this internal conflict that you are having with yourself." He locks eyes with you again, your heart clenching slightly at the dullness of them as they stare heavily into yours, "Because I can't lose you, Pixie, not ever and especially not like this."

You feel a rush of guilt spike immediately, making your chest ache from how fast and hard it hits you. Minghao's eyes flit around your face, studying you for a beat. "I trust you more than anyone else in the world, Pixie," He softly says, his expression softening even more, "And if you have a reason for not telling me, I know that it's a good one," He nudges you slightly, "Plus, if there's anyone who can solve something that everyone else thinks its unsolvable," he gives you a small smile, filled with adoration, "That person would be you."

The pain in your chest grows at the admittance and you feel your walls break almost instantly as you digested his words. Minghao studies you for a beat, taking your silence as quiet understanding before he speaks again. "I don't expect us to solve this today." He says softly, grabbing your hand into his, "We had a long day and I have my test tomorrow so why don't we just go out for food and—"

"Hao." You speak up, your voice soft, interrupting him and making him tilt his head in question. You let out a shaky exhale, "When Seungcheol called me into his office the other day, half of it was to tell me about Soonyoung being my new rookie, but the other half," You trail off, composing your nerves slightly before continuing, "Was about the brass."

Minghao's eyes narrow slightly, "What about the brass?" He questions, slightly frowning.

You shift slightly, turning to face him, "Seungcheol had a report on his desk with all of our stats from the past twenty Rookie Days we've had. While everyone's report and yours were clean, with only a few wash outs," You take a shaky inhale, "Mine was the worst, with only nine successful rookies."

Minghao blinks at that, "Why is that an issue?"

You gnaw on your bottom lip, "It's an issue because the brass needs to pin the heat on someone when all these total rookies add up and we don't have enough manpower on the streets, Hao." You mumble out bitterly, "They're going to claim that my methods are unorthodox. Yes, I produce the best rookies, but I also wash out the most and 'leave them for the sharks' as they put it."

Minghao's eyes widen at that, "What?" He asks, his voice low, serious and stern, "That's utter bullshit." You grimace slightly at his words, watching as he goes on a small spiral of his own, "They can't do that." "Well, they definitely can if they're threatening it." You speak out softly, making Minghao scoff as he shakes his head, borderline seething now.

"That's why you can't wash Soonyoung out," he mutters, starting to silently pieces everything together, "Because if you do, you lose this." You gravely nod at his voice as silence swarms around the two of you. Not the comfortable kind as you feel the air prickle your skin, the topic leading the air to become heavy amongst the two of you.

"That's fucked." Minghao finally admits, making you nod slowly. "It really is," You say, echoing his sentiment. "I guess we need to start trying harder to wash him out then." Minghao says, clasping his hands together, "I think we can think of a few ways to make the guy wash himself out."

You think back to yesterday and today and how Soonyoung has been. He was attentive, he took your criticism. You contemplate. "If he cannot hack it, I will cut him. Regardless of whether I am a training officer or not after the fact." "Remember what it was like to be in his shoes, Nova." "I'm here because I have to do this, because I can't live with myself if anyone else goes through the same thing that I have."

Those three sentences keep ringing at the back of your mind before you take in all of Soonyoung's actions today and how he risked everything to save the girl. How committed he was and how he saw red after the incident which lead to the altercation. "No." You softly say, surprising Minghao, "I don't think he should quit."

Minghao stares at you, his eyes slightly wide as he analyzes your face. You hold your breath, awaiting his argument. But instead, you just watch him deflate and sigh, the day definitely taking a toll on him.

"Alright." He simply says, giving you a soft smile as he squeezes your hand, making you frown in confusion. "You aren't going to argue with me?"

He raises an eyebrow, "You want me to?" You immediately shake your head, making your half-brother huff out a laugh, a teasing smile on his lips, "Don't get me wrong, I still don't like the guy, but after witnessing what he did today," He trails off, shaking his head, "Figures why you like him and want to keep him." He says, turning to you with a cheeky smirk on his face. You feel the back of your neck flush at his words before you use your free hand to slap him hard on the shoulder, making the older man yelp.

"Oi!" He exclaims, rubbing his shoulder with his free hand. "Don't add injuring a fellow police officer to your rapport now, you already have a bad rep with the officers at the motor pool because of your fellow rookie." "Need I remind you that you were the one that crashed your shop into the house today to get through the front door?" "Well, whose fault is that?! You didn't listen to me and got the front door locked after you ran inside to save your reckless rookie! What other choice did I have?" "Every war bag is equipped with a lock-pick, Xu! Which you would've remembered if you didn't come saving me as if you're some knight in shining armour." Minghao snorts before dragging you to your feet by your joint hands, "C'mon," He says, snarkily as he pulls you, "We're getting nowhere with this argument because we're both starving." You roll your eyes, "Just cause I was winning the argument." "Don't start."

You slam your locker door shut and grab your backpack before making your way out of the female changing room, bidding goodbye to the night shift team. You roll your shoulders, trying to get the ache out of them as you push the doors to the precinct open and take a deep breath, the cool night air filling your lungs.

You stand there for a second, soaking in the night before you catch something at the corner of your eye that makes you peer over to see a blonde head of hair. You watch as Soonyoung stares at the sky, contemplating as he sits on the bench right outside of the precinct. He is dressed in plain clothes, which you realize make him look a lot younger than he actually is despite being two years older than you.

You feel your body move on it's own as you approach him, your sneakers swiping a few rocks away. As you stand by his side, he seems to be in his own world, not noticing you. You clear your throat.

"Not going home yet?"

Soonyoung jumps slightly before whipping his head to the side to see you standing there, a ghost of a smile on your face as you try not to smile or laugh at scaring him.

"Waiting for Vernon, Chan and Seungkwan to get out of the locker room. My roommate is picking us up for dinner." He states as he eyes you. "How about you?"

"Waiting for Officer Xu, Lee and Kim. We're supposed to go for dinner." You say, rolling your eyes as you shift the strap of your bag on your shoulder, "They complain that I always take the longest but I swear, if the three of them are in there at once, they will take hours."

Soonyoung lets out a small laugh at your grimacing tone, "Do guys actually have all those locker room talks or something?" Soonyoung looks at you, not even bothering to hide his slight amusement. "Locker room talks or something?" He repeats your words, making you nod. "Yeah, like girls' bathroom talks."

At that, Soonyoung lets out a louder laugh, his shoulders relaxing by a fraction, making you smirk despite yourself. Soonyoung slides to the right, making place for you. "Want to sit?"

Despite everything in you saying 'no' and that you aren't supposed to get close to this rookie that you deemed irresponsible, you do anyways. You know he isn't like that anymore, it would be pretty dumb if you still thought that way after getting to know him the past two weeks, despite not wanting to. You let out an exhale as you sit before silence envelops the two of you as you both stare at the moon and the stars dotting the sky.

You glance towards Soonyoung, whose shoulders look like they tensed up again in just a couple of seconds. "How are you doing?" You ask the man, making him glance at you before going back to stare at the moon, gnawing at his bottom lip.

"I'm…" He hesitates slightly, watching your expression morph into a 'don't lie to me' one, making him relent. "Honestly, I could be better." He mutters out, not wanting to meet your eyes. You let out a hum, stretching slightly. "Why's that?"

He lets out a sigh, "I've always known that people can be capable of horrible things," he softly says, kicking a few pebbles with his shoes as he swings his legs lightly, "but to see it firsthand was…"

He trails off, his head dropping lower but his words resonate with you as you digest them, understanding what he means. You lean back on your hands as you stare at the sky. "You've also experienced it firsthand." You say softly.

Soonyoung barks out a bitter laugh. "You're right," he mutters, mirroring your posture.

You stare at him for a few moments before nudging him to make him look at you, "Can't let it infect you." You say quietly, after he locks eyes with you. "As a civilian, you can be driven by emotion as much as you want. As a cop?" You shake your head, "You need to rise above it because it's not your job to punish this man for what he did as much as you want to."

Soonyoung stays silent as you gently reason with him, "Doesn't make it suck any less." He finds himself muttering, making your expression soften.

"It doesn't." You agree, "When you were on stage, you were in-charge of it all, the emotions you were inflicting on others through your music, the music that you could perform on it and everything that was meant to be up there, but here?" You let out a small sigh, solidifying your words and point. "Overcoming that impulse and need for control will be the hardest thing that you do in this job."

You let your words sit for a beat with Soonyoung before a few muffled voices catch your attention, making you peer behind to see the three men joking around with each other, pushing each other slightly as they make their way out of the building.

You roll your eyes at their antics before looking back at Soonyoung, who seems amused by them, "Guess that's your cue." He says, making you scoff as you shake your head. "Wish it wasn't," You say tiredly, making Soonyoung laugh at your deadpanned expression before a small smile makes its way onto your face. You stand up, slinging your bag onto your shoulder again, "You did good today, Officer Kwon." You praise, making Soonyoung blink at your words.

"Did you just compliment me?"

You roll your eyes, "Don't get used to it." You say pointedly as he shakes his head, a wider grin on his face now. "Wouldn't dream of it, Ma'am." He says, his eyes twinkling, making your chest warm slightly even though you don't know why.

You clear your throat as your entourage makes their way over to Mingyu's car, Minghao calling out your name. "That's my actual cue." You say as Soonyoung nods, opening his mouth to speak when you are both interrupted by yet another loud group of people, the two of you turning to see Chan and Seungkwan arguing with each other as Vernon trails behind them.

You smile, amused before turning to Soonyoung, "Looks like that's your cue as well." You say, your grin teasing as he huffs, standing up as well. "Unfortunately," He mumbles before turning to you, eyeing you for a beat before his expression morphs into a more appreciative one.

"Thank you." he says softly, "For the talk." You shrug, "I'm your training officer, every moment is a teachable one." You watch him resist the urge to roll his eyes, making you laugh as you take a step away from him.

"See you tomorrow, Officer Nova." He says, giving you a mock salute which has you rolling your eyes as you step a few steps backward, a ghost of a smile on your face at how stupid your rookie is. "See you tomorrow, Officer Kwon."

PART TWO (Coming Soon)

©livmarauder2026 Thank you guys so much for reading part one! I hope you guys are excited for part two which should hopefully be released sooner or later... please comment down below if you want to be tagged for that (pending date is june atm!) Like my work? Join my Permanent Taglist! All my fics are 18+, which means blogs without age or age indicators will not be tagged If you like this, please consider reblogging or liking, it really makes my day! <3 Thank you again for showing rookie soonyoung love! <3

⋆⭒˚.⋆ TAGLIST: @mellowgyu @izzyy-recs @cherrymayz @luvrung @nerdycheol @choco-scoups @hopecutie @gentleisa @chogiwaw @caratchronicles @huiimoon @gyuhao365 @unemployedcarat @bramos91 @fancypeacepersona

[chogiwaw]

ITS OUT!!! EVERYONE ITS OUT!!!!!

cant wait to read it!!

[luvrung]

fated season | hvc

synopsis: at 27 years old you no longer had eligibility in the yearly season of courting. your only desire now was to get your younger sister married on her first season out this year. you never expected the loop that the choi family would throw your way with their youngest son hansol. he was perfect for your sister, yet why was he so intrigued by you?

pairing: viscount!vernon x f!reader

wc: — 17.7k

genre: regency era! au, bridgerton au

tags: angst, fluff, slow burn, bridgerton inspired, yearning, oh so much yearning, stubborn reader, lot of internal conflict w reader, mentions of anxiety, commitment issues, eldest sibling struggles, mentions of expectations/limitations on women in that era, title inaccurates for plot purposes, smut mdni!! masturbation, mutual masturbation (kinda?), implied inexperienced reader & vernon, virginity loss, praise, fingering, oral (f), unprotected sex (wrap it pls)

note: my part for the blockbusters collab is finally here! i’m so proud of this work and hopefully everyone loves our viscount hehe.. you can't have a bridgerton male lead without being a poet & i think vernon is so wise with his words hopefully that's portrayed accurately here. also take a wild guess what my fav season of bridgerton was and what this is kinda based upon??!! some stuff may be historically inaccurate (first/second son titles) for plot sake and un-british like cus im not, so sorry for that!

note #2: many thanks are underway. starting out, shoutout to luna ( @belovedgyu ), izzy ( @jakedustry ), and rae ( @nerdycheol ), for making this collab happen and supporting so many new/first time writers! your guidance the past few months has been amazing and i see how much everyone’s improved over time w all of your help. thank you @livmarauder, @jakedustry, and @cherrymayz for beta reading and being the first to see viscount vernon. another thanks to liv for making this wonderful banner, you’re truly so talented. lastly, thank you to everyone in this collab for your support!! i’m so grateful for all of you and watching everyone’s stories come to life has been awesome <3

dividers by @bronzewasp!

support the other blockbusters authors here !

The low rattle of the carriage typically helped lull you to sleep on the long journeys you've endured before. You watched from the small window as the greenery of the countryside passed by slowly. Your stomach was in knots, thoughts running wild preventing you from enjoying a peaceful nap.

A brief glance towards your sister eased the agony raging inside you. Her face was calm, chest rising slowly as her head rested on the shoulder of your cousin. You shared a look with her, a small smile on both your faces.

"She's ready you know. You don't have to stress so much." Your cousin says your name softly, a sigh leaving your lips.

"I understand that. It's my duty to be protective of her though. In my eyes I still see that 12 year old girl." Your sister was 19 now, a full adult and finally making her debut. She whined for two years that she was ready, but your family knew she needed to grow into herself more before searching for a suitor.

You were the eldest child, your brother Michael, was three years younger than you, and the youngest— Ana was eight years apart from you. Your mother passed when Ana was still young, instantly throwing you into a maternal role for your younger siblings.

When you were 18, you traveled from your kingdom of Ellerium with your father to England to make an official debut. You had no luck that season, and tried again the following year. You had managed to snag an engagement from a handsome and highly coveted Lord, excited to fulfill your dreams before he had called off the engagement abruptly. A princess was in town who had expressed her desire for your fiancée, leaving you in the dust.

You were crushed; you wore your heart on your sleeve but the experience of that season made you draw back. Your father and cousin did their best to comfort you, but the damage was done. You attempted one more time the following season when you were twenty, just to have foul luck once again. You returned to Ellerium that winter with a dull ache, and a shadow of the woman you were before.

The glitz and glam of the past three seasons had begun to add up and get pricey, your father having to travel more to pay off the debuts of your designer dresses. After three failures, you decided you struck out. You wouldn't cause your family any more trouble financially or physically. The journey from Ellerium to England was a three day trek one way. You swore you wouldn't go back until your sister was ready to make her debut.

Your father and cousin pushed you to try once more, but you already sealed your fate. Once you turned 23 your family stopped pushing. Most women in high society were married off by 21 or 22. If you were unwed by 25, you were deemed a certified spinster, which you had become for your family. You were 27 and content with your cat and helping your family. The yearn for something more always prodded at the back of your mind when you laid in bed at night, but for the sake of your sister you pushed the thoughts away. As long as she was happy, you were happy. At least that was what you told yourself.

The rolling hills began to turn into a familiar scene of villages, and the cottages owned by commoners who worked in the fields. The carriage veered off to the right, headed towards the city where all the members of The Ton resided. You leaned over and lightly shook your sister, knowing she would be fuming if she didn't catch a glimpse of the city coming in.

"Ana darling, time to get up. We're almost there." Her eyes slowly opened, a yawn and big stretch escaping as she turned towards the window. Her face shifted to one of awe, as it was her first time leaving the resides of Ellerium.

"Are you seeing this?" She turned back towards you smiling, drawing a soft grin from you. You were reminded of your first time in London and the excitement you felt upon first sight of the city.

"Take it all in my love." You felt all of her joy as she turns back out in disbelief, watching the markets and people stroll by.

The carriage made its way towards long rows of townhomes with intricate architectural designs and lined with grandiose gardens. It stops right in front of a beautiful red brick home with a white door and rows of hydrangeas along the walkway.

"I believe we are here! The Hong's have been expecting us!" Your cousin clasps her hands together loudly as the three of you file out of the carriage.

The front door swung open as a woman with a perfectly slicked bun and a kind smile came descending down the steps, a maid close behind her.

"Hello beautiful ladies! I am so ecstatic to have you here!" She exclaimed as you all gave a small curtsy, formally greeting your host for the season. "I am Lady Hong, You must be Ladies Ana and Y/N of Ellerium?" You extended a hand to her to which she held gently.

"That would be correct, Lady Hong. We cannot express our gratitude enough for letting us stay in your marvelous home for the season." You smiled brightly at her, your sister a ball of energy next to you as she could barely contain herself. You placed a hand at the small of her back to ground her, a reminder to control her emotions a bit. Your cousin exchanged a brief word with Lady Hong before giving her goodbyes to you and Ana.

"See you soon, cousin." She pulled back, a glint in her eyes as she looked at you. You knew she was thinking of how you might feel being back and unwed, but you give her a reassuring squeeze.

"Take care. I'll be back home before you know it and our baby girl will be betrothed, mark my words." She laughed, giving one final hug to your sister before returning into the carriage to make her journey back.

"Right this way ladies, let's take a tour shall we?" Mrs. Hong gestured for you to follow, her footman right behind carrying both of your bags.

The main foyer was stunning, larger than you expected from the outside as you and Ana toured the first floor, waving at the maids in the kitchen as you walk through. Upon entering the drawing room, you're taken back by the presence of two men. One— an older gentleman at the piano looking up from his note sheet; the other lifting his gaze from his book on the embroidered couch.

"Ana, Y/N, may I introduce you to my husband Lord Hong," the one at the piano gave a deep nod. "And my son, Joshua." The one at the couch closed his book, rising to give a bow to you and your sister. The two of you mimicked his actions, greeting one another formally.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Ladies. We are looking forward to being your generous hosts this season."

He smiled softly as you took a second to admire his features. Joshua was stunning, his hair swept back off his forehead, pretty eyes and a strong jawline. Pushing your selfish thoughts back, you wonder if he was eligible for your sister or not.

"We cannot express how grateful we are to be here Lord Joshua-"

"Please, just Joshua. I'm not big on titles." He shook his head, shocking you. Every man you've encountered in high society demanded their titles spoken every time they were addressed.

"Okay then, Joshua— I expect you to give me the best scoop on the suitors this season. I want only the best for my sister." Were you starting off strong? Possibly, but a man of his status— and looks, had to know what lords to stay far away from.

He gave a full belly laugh, not expecting your brazenness so soon.

"Alright, I'll be your guide to all things during this social season— and The Ton." He gleamed at the two of you, a hint of mischief in his eyes. He reminded you of your brother and you felt a sense of familiarity within the Hong household already.

"I'll let you two get settled into the home. Mother, I'm going to the lake with Hansol for a while, I'll be back before supper."

He rested a hand on his father's shoulder, giving his mom a kiss on the cheek and with a final bow towards you two, he headed out.

"Alright now, let's continue the tour. I'll show you your sleeping quarters."

After the tour of the estate, you and Ana got settled in the drawing room, chatting with Lord and Lady Hong while sipping tea. You were buzzing with excitement for Ana, ready for her to step out into The Ton and make her mark.

The day slips by with dinner approaching before you know it. The spread was divine, the maids working hard to prepare a special meal for the new guests.

"Oh heavens, now where is Joshua?" Mrs. Hong sighed, exasperated as Mr. Hong chuckled, pulling her seat out for her.

"You know that boy likes to come in right as we sit down. Give it another minute."

As if on cue, the sound of the front door opening and voices traveling in was a sure sign Joshua made it back just in time to eat.

"I'm home! I brought Hansol with me if that's okay?" He called from the foyer loudly.

"Always my dear, Hansol is always welcome in our home!"

You fought to keep your jaw off the floor as the two men stepped into the dining room, your sister going rigid next to you. You swore you've never seen a finer man walk in, his chocolate brown hair parted in the middle, light brown eyes scanning the room with a soft smile on his face.

"Who might we have here?" The man— Hansol, asked with a tilt of his head. You shoved an elbow into your sisters side as she made no effort to control her facial expressions. She blinked out of her haze and the two of you stood to give a curt bow.

"Lady Ana and Y/N of Ellerium, Sir." Your voice came out a pitch higher than you wished, your ears growing hot. Hansol gave a dip of his head in return.

"Lord Choi Hansol. Pleasure to meet you." His voice was deeper than you were expecting, yet his tone soft.

"Glad to have you join us for dinner, Hansol, your company is always a pleasure."

Lord Hong gestures for another place to be set for Joshua's friend who settled directly across from you. Your stomach did a flip as you appeared unfazed, pinching your sisters thigh to keep her from gawking at the handsome man across from you.

Dinner went along smoothly, the Hong family asking many questions about Ana and yourself. You tried to keep the focus on Ana, buttering her up in front of the two males in case they were interested. Hansol watched carefully, only commenting when necessary or if you asked something about him. Ana was timid, though you knew everything you asked she already was questioning as well.

"So your brother is an Earl?" Ana grew the courage to ask herself, a hint of a smile tugging on your lips. Hansol nodded, dabbing his lips with a napkin.

"Yes, Seungcheol is the head of our house now. As the second oldest son the Viscount title was passed to me." A soft 'ah' leaves both your lips as you listened to his family lineage.

"And has he found his Countess?"

You raised an eyebrow, Hansol's expression quickly matching yours.

"Are you asking for yourself?"

You scoffed.

"Absolutely not, the only one looking for a suitor is my darling Ana here." He hummed an acknowledgment, slowly sipping his wine.

"Unfortunate news to bear, but my brother has found his Countess already."

"What of yourself, Viscount?" You tilted your head, Ana's eyes on you now. She hated when you were brazen, especially knowing she was more on the shyer side.

"Ah, I had a feeling this was coming." He chuckled, Joshua smirking and clearly amused next to him. "No, I have not wed yet. I just got back from my travels across Europe this March."

You were highly intrigued by him. His travels across the globe, his intellectual way of thinking and striking looks made him the total package. Plus him being a Viscount meant a higher title in society. As much as you felt your heart call out for him, you knew he would be a perfect match for Ana to betroth.

"Interesting.. Perhaps you and Ana should get to know each other sometime." You pushed, a smug smile on your face. Hansol stares blankly, slowly nodding with a brief glance towards Ana.

"Perhaps."

His tone was flat, like a punchline missed. Maybe he was a tough case to crack—you didn't mind a challenge.

Dinner concluded with Joshua and Hansol disappearing into the drawing room as you and Ana sat and talked with the Hong's for a while after the dishes had been cleared. They appeared shortly after, Hansol claiming he had to get back to his mother and giving his goodbyes.

"Nice meeting you Lady Y/N, Ana." He gave a soft smile, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it. He repeated the action with Ana, her face going hot from the contact. "I'll be around. If Joshua isn't there to be a guide, I'll be glad to step in." He looked you up and down once more before slipping out the door.

The brief interaction had your stomach in knots, the feel of a man's lips even brushing your hand had your knees wobbling. You felt it was going to be a long season if Hansol kept slinking around.

As you winded down for the night, brushing Ana's hair and wrapping it up, she rambled on about the day's events.

"Oh god Lord— Viscount— Hansol was so handsome. Did you see the way he looked at me?!" She sighed dreamily, twirling on a loose strand you hadn't wrapped up yet.

"It's just Lord, Ana, and he surely is a nice sight on the eyes." You agreed, mind wandering back to his playful gaze and how warm you felt under it.

He seemed to linger on you which you despised. You wanted your sister to be the center of attention, not you. Even if a small voice at the back of your mind yearned to be desired still, the way it did when you were eighteen. Your mission was Ana, not yourself.

You went to bed with Ana rambling for twenty minutes after the light went out, over the first ball of the season in two days. She left your mind racing knowing tomorrow you would be going to get alterations on her gown in the morning. Mrs. Hong insisted you find something for yourself, promising you had to look as equally marvelous. You wondered if she pitied you, wanting you to at least go out and feel pretty despite the circumstances.

The next day was busy, with Lady Hong waking you and Ana up early.

"I apologize girls, however if we don't leave before 7am, the line will be wrapped around the corner! I swear Jihyo is the best seamstress in the city!" She bustled about the room, swinging the curtains open to allow the rising sunlight in.

The click of hooves on the pavement rung out as the three of you made your way further into the city. You stopped in front of a white building, mannequins lining the glass windows modeling the most spectacular gowns you've ever seen.

"Mademoiselle Park's boutique will stun you, come on girls we have a long day of fittings ahead!"

Lady Hong stepped out the carriage, offering a hand to Ana as you went out the other way. Opening the doors to the boutique, a bell chimed alerting the owner of new arrivals as a pretty woman with long black hair rounded the corner.

"Ah, Lady Hong it's always a pleasure to see you!" She smiled brightly. "Who might these two debutons be?"

Your time to be a debuton was long behind you, you quietly thought. You had hope for Ana, your sister was stunning and well mannered.

"These two gorgeous girls are the Ladies of Ellerium!" She introduced you by first and last name, the owner Jihyo giving a low bow in greeting.

"Welcome, Ladies of Ellerium. Please take your time. I have quite the selection!" She followed Ana around, complimenting gowns that went well with her skin tone and hair color.

"Y/N, are you going to even have a look?" Ana turned back to you.

"No, darling. I'm looking for you over here."

"Sister, you have to find something. Maybe there's a Lord who likes his ladies a little… older…" You shoot a glare at your sister, a devious smirk playing on her face.

"I'm sorry, how old are you?" Jihyo asked with a head tilt.

"I'm twenty seven, too old to be this seasons diamond I fear." You scoffed, turning back to the overwhelming rack of gowns.

"Oh dear, I would've thought you were no older than twenty." Jihyo placed a hand over her chest with a pout and you felt a spark of rage simmer in your gut.

Why does everyone pity you? Why must a woman have to be married to have any worth in this society?

"Well your sister is right, find something pretty for yourself. Many Lords wait a long time to get married! Oh- looks like Ana may have found something, come here!" Lady Hong gasped, gathering your attention.

You turned to the pale blue gown made of satin, intricate swirls of pearls along the whole dress. The neckline was low, and if altered right, would fit her body perfectly.

"You would look ravishing in that Ana!" You exclaimed, sharing a giddy look with your sibling. She tried on the gown and sighed in awe at herself in the mirror across from her. Jihyo got to work, tailoring the way Ana desired. You smiled contentedly watching her reflection in front of you. You saw glimpses of yourself in her, and silently prayed she would find better than you ever did.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to see Mrs. Hong with a stunning burgundy gown in her arms.

"Dear, I think you should try this one on. You'll look fierce." She handed off the delicate article of clothing as you insisted you couldn't.

"I can't possibly wear this…"

"Stop fussing and try it on!" Your sister made eye contact in the mirror with you, her gaze serious.

You huffed in defeat, shuffling towards the available curtain to undress behind.

"I'll be over to help you in a moment darling!" Jihyo called, her figure hunched over as she hemmed Ana's dress.

You undress from your simple green gown and stepped into the eye-catching burgundy gown. You just barely pull your arms through when Jihyo's voice is directly behind the curtain, asking to come in.

She slid the curtain open and gasped, eyes glowing. "My dear you look stunning. This dress is quite perfectly made for you!"

Her words brought a timid smile to your face, not expecting such a positive reaction. You didn't lack confidence necessarily; you knew you were beautiful. Years of being looked down upon by your family had warped your perception a bit— you just needed a little validation again.

"Here, let me fix you up and we can see what needs to be tailored from there." Jihyo's soft hands found the hooks and closed up the dress.

You gave a mixture of laugh and a sound of excitement at the sight in front you.

The dress hugged you perfectly, flowing out at your hips, past your feet. The neckline was scooped and not too low, making you look modest but sultry.

"Show your sister! She's going to love it!"

"I'm waiting!" Your younger sibling wasted no time to call for you, impatience in her voice.

When you stepped out, you watched both Ana and Mrs. Hong's mouths drop open.

"Well didn't I say you would look ravishing! I did not lie." Mrs. Hong circled around you, inspecting the details of the gown with a nod.

"You look wonderful, sister." Ana's voice was soft, her gaze kind.

She hoped you would still somehow find your own suitor, wanting nothing more than to see you happy as well.

"Thank you, Ana." You smiled softly at her. "I'm only wearing this for you, Lady Hong."

"I already added it to our family's tab so I would hope so!" You laughed at her in utter shock.

"Mrs. Hong!"

"I told you— an arrival gift for our beloved guests."

Jihyo finished up Ana's dress before making some minor tweaks on your otherwise perfect gown.

The three of you exited the boutique, expressing your thanks and gratitude towards Jihyo before heading back to your carriage. It was already mid-day, the dress hunt and tailoring taking up the whole morning and early afternoon. You were starving and willing to eat anything that was in front of you.

"I'm famished!" Ana sighed, expressing your thoughts with a toss of her head against the cushioned wall.

"As expected. Our head maid, Wanda will have cooked up something wonderful for us by now."

Walking into the doors of the Hong residence, the last thing you expected to see was Joshua running around shouting. You also absolutely did not expect to see Hansol crouched on top of a chair, face pale with a contorted expression upon his face.

"Hong Joshua, what in the world is going on!"

"Mother! A rodent made its way in our home!"

"Oh for goodness sake." She sighed, placing the boxes from the boutique into a maids arms. She was ready to ask Joshua where they last saw it when Ana let out a shriek, spotting the creature and running towards the chairs Hansol was hiding at.

"Oh shit!" You heard something crash and Joshua yelped, a broom in his hand as the mouse terrorizing the house rounded the corner.

"Joshua, give me the damn broom!" You shouted at the grown man running in circles from the mouse. He tossed it and you caught it with a slight fumble, swinging the door open, trying to attract the mouse.

"Shoo! Shoo!" You swatted the broom at the creature, watching it scurry out the house before slamming the door shut.

You glanced at everyone in the room. Joshua was huffing from doing a whole lot of nothing, chasing the rodent. Ana watched, perched on a chair directly across from Hansol, who's eyes were comedically wide. Mrs. Hong was unmoved, sharing an unamused look with you. Bunch of cowards.

"Lord Hansol, you're telling me all your travels across the globe and you let a rat get the best of you?"

You raised an eyebrow at him, a playful smirk spreading across his face.

"Never had to fight off rodents on the beaches of Portugal."

You groaned, the head maid taking the broom out of your hands with a smile. If Hansol couldn't even handle getting a mouse out of the home, how could you marry your sister off to him. Who was going to kill the bugs in that relationship?

"Unbelievable."

Hansol hopped off the chair, dusting his trousers off. He offered a hand to Ana, helping her down and sharing an amused look together.

"Sister would always get rid of the animals that found their way into our house. A squirrel was not safe around her." Ana joked, your eyes wandering between the two with a small shrug.

"Our house isn't in the city, someone had to take the role up." You stated simply; the others watching you curiously.

"Exactly as a big sister should!"

"Sure… More like Michael is a wuss." Hansol chuckled, learning about your younger brother over dinner last night.

"I don't blame him."

Your gaze shifted towards him, watching his struggle to keep a straight face.

"You're unbelievable, Choi Hansol."

"Hey! What happened to 'Lord Hansol?'" He teased, your eyes rolling hard.

"I'm going to the drawing room, the maids brought out some sandwiches. That is where you'll converse with Ana." You turned towards your sister, gesturing for her to follow you to the public room.

"Sounds like I don't have much of a choice?"

"Well of course not, my Lord."

You quietly chatted with Joshua as the two of you munched on the finger foods placed in the drawing room. You found yourself straining to hear Ana and Hansol's conversation on the couch farther down the room. Your gaze fell in their direction often, wondering if they were making any headway. Joshua noticed this, from the way you zoned out and stopped responding to him multiple times.

"You should go over there and sit with them at this point."

You glared at him, a bright smile across his face before he took a bite of pastry.

"Can a sibling not be concerned?"

"You should only be concerned with the man if he is actually interested." Joshua makes eye contact with you, confusion written all over your face. "Hansol has been adamant on remaining single. Said the right one for him won't be apart of The Ton, and if they are, he would have to fall for someone… unconventional…"

You swallowed hard, gaze shifting towards your feet momentarily. An unrecognizable feeling brewed inside your stomach upon his words.

"Well Ana is a bit unconv-"

"No, she's not. Not by Hansol standards."

"Then what would be his standard then if not my sister?" Tilting his head slightly, his gaze softened.

"You."

"Joshua, you can't just say unrealistic things like that!" You kept your voice low, yet alarmed. He couldn't be spewing that with the man in question a few feet away.

"Unrealistic? You've known him for a day, I've known him my whole life. Trust me when I say it was you who took his breath away at first sight, not Ana."

His revelation was like a punch to the gut, knowing how hard you were working to get your sister betrothed as soon as possible. Joshua didn't know what he was talking about, there was no way Hansol desired you. He was a tough case to crack, and you were going to do so for you sister's case— not your own.

You casted a glance in their direction once again, finding Hansol's sharp eyes already on you. A chill ran over you as you averted your gaze, turning back to Joshua.

The intensity of his gaze alone had your stomach flipping, and your heart racing.

Perhaps if you were meaner to him, whatever attraction Joshua claimed was there would dissipate.

You were the wrong sister to choose, and he would have to see that.

The bustle of the Hong estate the next day was exciting; maids and footmen moving around as the family prepared for the first ball of the season that night.

You were ecstatic to present your sister, knowing the queen herself would be in attendance. All of the ladies had a big impression to make, and Mrs. Hong apparently had a great connection with the queen.

"Trust me darling, the queen and I go way back." She exclaimed as your designated maids busied themselves fixing up your hair and makeup. "I'll have a proper introduction lined up for Ana." Mrs. Hong winked at your sister, her face lighting up over the thought of meeting the queen herself.

"That's wonderful, Lady Hong! I cannot thank you enough!" She squealed, clasping her hands together from uncontainable joy.

You spent what felt like all day prepping for the ball, Ana complaining her neck ached after being in the chair for hours. The final product was jaw-dropping; you nearly teared up at the sight of her.

She looked elegant, yet refreshing— holding herself with a womanly poise.

"Wow sister, you look stunning."

"You can't be one to talk! This burgundy looks gorgeous on you!" You gave a small spin, not used to the glam you've stayed away from for seven years.

"Thank you my dear. Now, let's go find you a husband."

The first ball was hosted by the Lee's, a very prominent and influential family in the Ton. They had a mansion farther out from the city, used mostly for social gatherings.

Your jaw dropped as the sight of the castle-like home came into view, already lined up with carriages along the main walkway.

"The Lee's surely know how to host. Their oldest, Jihoon, was married a few years back but the two youngest sons are eligible currently! Ana, I will speak very highly of you to them and introduce you myself!" Mrs. Hong was excited, sharing with you prior to leaving she had yearned for a second child— a daughter. By hosting Ana and yourself, she could finally experience what other mothers of The Ton did with their daughters.

"Oh! I can't forget about you as well Y/N, there will be plenty of suitors there," You opened your mouth to speak before she raised a hand, stopping you before you began. "I know, I know, you're not interested but don't give up completely dear. I got engaged at twenty six."

You were glad she had found her love match later on, but you knew the story wasn't the same for you. You gave up a long time ago and decided upon that. You weren't going to turn her down, but your heart was out of the game a while ago.

"I'm almost thirty and still am unwed!" Joshua butted in, earning a side eye from you and an eye roll from his father.

"Things are different for us, Joshua. You could get married at fifty and it would be acceptable."

"My apologies, just wanted to be relatable…" You laughed at him, appreciative of his efforts.

Your group made it inside, Ana barely containing her excitement at the grand entryway, and the stunning attire all around.

"I'll be back, I'm off to find the Lee sons! Joshua watch over them!" Mrs. Hong stepped off, dragging her husband along with her.

"Alright ladies, Lord Joshua at your service. Let's get some introductions rolling."

After weaving through the crowds and bowing at recognizable faces, he finally lead you to the main floor, snatching up three glasses of champagne.

"Better vantage point here, ah, do you see the man with glasses straight ahead?" Joshua tilted his champagne glass in said direction, granting a nod of acknowledgment from both you and Ana.

"That is Lord Jeon Wonwoo. Certainly a piece of eye candy. He's a true gentleman and his family has connections to the royal family of Korea. He's the slightest bit weird, and a little quiet. If you can get past that— or that's your type, then he's a perfect candidate!"

You hummed, slowly sipping your champagne. You take note of Lord Wonwoo, ranking him high on your list for Ana.

"Oh! Who is that?" Ana's voice caught your attention as you turned to see a taller man with bleached blonde hair to his nape and a small crowd around him.

"That, my dear, is Duke of Shenzhen— Wen Junhui. Only in town for a few weeks in search of his Duchess before he leaves back to China. Tough competition though…"

"China is too far for me, I need to be able to visit often."

"If it gets you married to a Duke, you could go to Australia for all I care Ana." She whined at this, ready to bicker before you catch Mrs. Hong making her way towards the three of you. The broad shouldered man accompanying her could only be what you assumed, one of the Lee sons.

"Ah! There she is! This is Lord Lee Chan, the youngest of the bunch. Lord Chan, may I introduce you to Lady Ana of Ellerium?" The two shook hands and formally dipped into a curtsy and bow.

"Lady Ana, you look marvelous, quite literally stole my breath away!" She smiled shyly. "Who might you be?" He turned to you with a bow that you return.

"I'm her older sister, just here to support her debut season." You softly gave your name and title with a kind smile. Chan looked you up and down, a smirk forming.

"You need to meet my cousin, you seem just like his type-"

"Ah Chan, we should let you and Ana get acquainted!" Joshua cuts in, signaling for you and his mother to make an exit.

"Yes, that sounds perfect. Pleasure meeting you, Lord Chan." You gave a final curtsy, meeting your sister's eyes with a silent message— 'you got this.'

The three of you scurried off, Mrs. Hong disappearing once again to make her rounds. You and Joshua settled near a corner, on your second glasses of champagne when Chan's comment resurfaced in your mind.

"Do you know who Lord Chan's cousin may be?"

He glanced at you, taking a sip of the bubbly drink.

"Mmm not sure who he was referencing. The Lee's family tree is insanely big."

Something in you told you he was lying but you brushed it off for now, watching Ana and Chan make their way onto the floor to dance.

You scanned the ballroom, searching for other potential suitors when your eyes landed upon a familiar figure. Hansol was on the other side of the floor, dressed in a navy blue suit as he chatted with another broader man. The more you looked, you saw they had the same crest woven on their jacket pockets and it clicked; that was his brother Seungcheol.

You watched his eyes roam the dance floor, as if he was searching for someone before he finds you. His gaze was heavy, a single eyebrow going up upon contact. He whispered something to Seungcheol, excusing himself, as he made his way towards you and Joshua along the edge of the crowd.

"Should've known I'd find you here standing in a corner." Hansol joked.

You felt his eyes drift over you, drinking up the sight of you in the intricate gown. His staring was nothing short of shameless, his expression blank yet carrying a weight behind his eyes you couldn't place. You felt your face grow hot, opting to sip the bubbly drink to hide the growing flush of your cheeks.

"You know these things aren't my cup of tea. And Lady Y/N here is trying to avoid any and all male attention." Joshua poked fun at you, a sinister grin on his face matching Hansol's.

"Any attention warranted to me can certainly be directed towards Ana. Speaking of, she seems to be hitting it off with Lord Chan, no?" You tilted your head towards the pair moving swiftly across the floor.

"Channie has always been a great man, if he wants to pursue Ana they would be a wonderful couple." Hansol's nickname for Chan caught you off guard. They must've been closer friends than you thought.

"My lady, would you be interested in a dance?" Hansol questioned, his head tilting.

"Oh no, I don't dance my Lord."

"A Lady of your status most certainly knows how to." He pushed back, his expression remaining unreadable, though the playfulness was present in his tone.

"I don't know, Lord Hansol-"

"Please, I beg of you to drop the formalities. Just Hansol." You gulped, feeling Joshua's gaze tear back and forth between the two of you.

"Just one dance, I promise to bring you back to Joshua in one piece." A hint of a smile twitched along the corner of his lip as he stared down at you.

You sighed deeply, nodding in agreement as you felt like your heart was betraying your mind.

He grabbed your flute and handed it to Joshua, gently taking your hand to guide you towards the edge of the dance floor. You step into formation with his strong hand in between yours, the other resting high on your waist. You danced in silence for a while, avoiding any eye contact while you focused on the drag of the music and keeping your feet coordinated.

"Why are you so adamant on remaining unwed?" Hansol broke the silence first, his directness nearly making you stumble over your own feet.

"Why does it matter? I'm past the age most women get married. I'm happy as long as my sister is happy." You bit your tongue, knowing the rehearsed answer you typically gave fell flat. He hummed in response, barely heard over the strum of the violins.

"That didn't sound very convincing. Plenty of women still get married at your age. My mother married my father when she was 32." You glanced up at him, his gaze soft and holding your own carefully.

"That makes you and Seungcheol half siblings right?" You questioned, Hansol giving a curt nod.

"Yes, but that's irrelevant right now. I'm talking about you. You deserve a shot at happiness as well." He spoke your name quietly, spinning you in sync with the music.

Your stomach was in knots, the proximity to him and his utterances making your mind grow fuzzy. His words rattled in the back of your mind as you grew silent, swaying with the music. You knew you deserved to be happy, but the thought of your family covering two weddings within a short time frame made you uneasy. If anyone should receive that blessing, it should be your sister.

The song finished, signaling the end of your dance with Hansol. You curtsy as he gave a deep bow, leading you back towards Joshua in the corner.

"Thank you. For dancing even if it was for a few minutes. You need to loosen up more." He stated simply, snatching a champagne flute off a tray and bidding a farewell, off to search for his brother once more.

Hansol was plaguing your mind the more time you spent with him and Joshua's convictions the day before reappeared in your thoughts. You had to shake off the feeling he left— and fast.

"Ana has been having quite the night if I say so." Joshua commented, snapping you back to reality as you scanned the crowd to find your sibling.

"Is that so?"

"Mmm, she's currently talking to the second oldest son of the Lee's— Lee Seokmin." He tilted your head towards your sister, catching her in deep conversation with a tall man with a bright smile.

"Good. Put in a word with one of the Lee boys to come visit her."

"Always working are we?" He joked as you fixated on the sight in front of you.

"You said you'd help us this season, Joshua. I expect that includes with the men in your circles as well." You turned towards him with a cheerful smile. You always got what you wanted when it came to your siblings.

"Of course, my Lady."

The first ball was a success, Ana boasting the rest of the night about all the suitors she had danced with, and her first encounter with the queen herself. You were introduced to her as well, keeping your poise in front of the most respected and feared woman in London.

The following days lead to a slow trickle of men of different statuses making way into the Hong residence, eager to make conversation with Ana. You were ecstatic, watching each interaction carefully in the corner of the drawing room. Mrs. Hong or Joshua was always by your side, critiquing the candidates with hushed voices.

Hansol was a frequent visitor, snatching Joshua away from the home, or staying and making conversation with everyone. You were watching intrigued one day as Hansol shared his notebook with you, going over the details of his travels. Ana was deep in conversation with Chan, though you knew she wanted to speak to Hansol as well.

"Hansol, why don't you stay and chat with Ana after Lord Chan leaves?"

His hand hovered above the notebook, his eyes widening in the slightest as if he wasn't expecting what you said.

"I'm alright here actually."

"She's very interested in you Hansol-"

"Chan has a great chance with her. I'll converse for your sake— as a friend, but I don't have romantic intentions with her."

You sighed, feeling like you were talking to a brick wall.

"What will it take to pursue her?"

It was Hansol's turn to sigh, his eyes closing briefly in exasperation.

"I've told you before, I have no intentions of marriage. It would have to truly be a love match by the grace of God."

"Would you hate me if I kept trying?" You asked, expecting him to snap. Hansol was unmoved, shaking his head.

"No, I couldn't ever hate you. But your efforts are troublesome for yourself. Focus on Lord Chan, or even Lord Seokmin, for your sister. Not me."

As much as you silently pleaded with him, you knew it was falling upon deaf ears. Hansol had made his decision a long time ago, unsatisfied with the hand full of options within the Ton that shamelessly threw themselves all over him. Simply for his looks and his title, hoping to become the next Vicountess. He hated it, knowing those were two of the things he cared the least about.

A few weeks later you were out for a stroll with Ana along the lake by the edge of town, watching families of the Ton out on the sunny day.

"How's progress been with Lord Jeon?" You held your hands clasped tightly, your deep purple dress feeling heavy in the summer heat.

"He's been okay, he's just so quiet. I'm quiet myself so the conversation always turns awkward…" She huffed, kicking a pebble in frustration. "I wish Lord Choi would be more receptive… he's always stoic around me."

You felt your gut twist up, knowing Hansol's words to you a few weeks prior. Not to mention, he tended to act the complete opposite around you. You felt uncomfortably guilty, even though you hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm working on that Lord Choi now… What about Lord Lee?"

"Which one?"

"Ah, both Lee brothers have been pursuing you? You're the hottest Lady out this season I see!" She laughed at you, bumping her hip into yours.

"Lord Seokmin has talked to me a few times, but the real chase has been Lord Chan. That one… my word he is persistent."

"Speak of the devil…" You mumbled, catching sight of four figures approaching you on the trail ahead. The set of Lee and Choi brothers made their way towards you and Ana, stopping short to allow the two of you to curtsy in greeting.

"What a coincidence seeing you two out here!" Lord Seokmin stated cheerfully, his eyes crinkling with a smile.

"Pleasure seeing you again, Lord Seokmin." You smiled softly at him.

You caught Chan staring at Ana and gestured quickly with your head for him to talk to her.

"Lady Ana, would you mind joining me on a stroll?" He asked, your sister turning towards you for approval. You looked at her, your face reading 'don't look at me!' as she turned back and agreed. The pair wandered off down the trail as you continued to walk with the remaining three men, not far behind.

"Our cousin happens to be very interested in your sister. I wouldn't be surprised if a wedding was called for by the winter time." Seungcheol spoke, your head turning in confusion.

"Wait, cousin? Who's your cousin?" Your head whipped back and forth between the three, trying to place who they were talking about.

"Seungcheol and I are related to Chan and Seokmin. They're our cousins." Hansol quietly shared, as your mouth fell open in an 'o' shape.

"Small world? I had no idea you were cousins!"

"Doesn't take long to notice once you hear Chan speak for longer than twenty minutes." Seokmin added, the group chucking at his comment.

"So, Y/N. Hansol told me you were unwed?" Seungcheol asked, hands in his pockets as you trained your gaze towards the ground.

"It seems to be a hot topic for everyone…" You huffed in annoyance, tired of your status being discussed. "I am, and I happen to be very content with my cat. And taking care of my family."

Seungcheol hummed while Seokmin looked at you in disbelief, Hansol staying quiet.

"I can't believe a woman as beautiful and well carried as yourself hasn't found her husband! You're still young, don't count yourself out!" Seokmin met your gaze, trying to express his shock to the fullest.

"It's okay, every family needs their spinster right?" You joked, hands toying with the lace along your dress.

"Hey, if nobody snatches you up by the end of the season… You know where to find me." Seokmin says your name with a wink, causing your cheeks to grow hot.

Seungcheol laughed in amusement, playfully shoving his cousin.

Nobody caught the way Hansol's jaw ticked, his usually calm exterior slipping momentarily.

Prior to the next biggest ball of the season; you, Ana, and Mrs. Hong found your way to Jihyo's shop once more. Ana was being fitted into a shimmering pale pink gown, as you held the box your new gown resided in. Mrs. Hong swore it was her duty to splurge in you— both of you, as your host.

"You know, Lord Chan mentioned he liked me in pale colors." Ana looked smug in the mirror as you made a face back at her.

"Oh? You care what Lord Chan likes on you now huh?" You teased, sharing a playful look with Mrs. Hong.

"Well… I've given up on Lord Hansol. He's icing me out." The unnerving feeling resurfaced in your gut at the mention of his name. "At least Lord Chan makes an effort for me. I don't want to chase a man."

"I raised you right my dear." You nodded at her proclamation, glad she felt a sense of self worth in a society that thrived off male attention.

"If I didn't know better sister, I'd think he might be interested in someone else?" Her tone was questioning, and you felt as if she was accusing you of something.

"What do you mean, Ana?"

"I notice things… He seems to like talking to you… A lot."

"That's nonsense, he talks to me as if I'm another Joshua." You huffed, feeling her eyes lingering on you through the mirror.

"I'm not mad, Y/N, just be honest if you have feelings or not so I know. I don't want to be blindsided." You couldn't explain the feeling brewing inside you other than simply— awful.

You couldn't even give her a direct answer because you didn't know the truth yourself. You were at war with your emotions at all times, thoughts of Hansol filling your mind when you least expected it. You didn't want to hurt your sister, and you needed to regulate your feelings as soon as possible.

"I don't have feelings for him." You swallowed down the lump in your throat, praying the way your voice shook didn't give you away. You felt three pairs of eyes on you, making your unease grow.

"Alright… "

You were on edge the rest of the day, thankful Hansol decided to stay away from the Hong residence for the day. You couldn't face him right now.

As the maids worked to make you and Ana stunning for the ball, you found yourself forcing conversation with your sister and the maids to keep your mind off your troubles.

A particularly hard tug of your hair had your maid apologizing, you waving her off promising it didn't hurt. She worked to weave your hair into a braided crown, leaving framing curled pieces out. Your makeup was soft, yet a pop of eyeliner on the waterline was used to make your eyes stand out. Your dress was a low cut azure blue shade, lined with intricate lacing. The gown you sported tonight had to be the most beautiful one you've ever worn, your confidence skyrocketing.

"Oh sister, your Lord Hansol will be in shambles upon seeing you!" Ana teased next to you, her bright cheeks and pale pink dress contrasting your darker makeup and dress.

"Quit that, he's not my anything." You crossed your arms over your chest, her teasing getting the best of you.

She smirked, her eyes glimmering with mischief as she grabbed your hand to descend down the steps.

"Tell that to him! Joshua was telling me that Lord Hansol had his eyes set on a woman finally, but wouldn't tell him who. I'd bet 5 pounds it's you, sister."

"I doubt it, I'm too old."

"You're a year younger than him!" Ana sighed as the two of you exited the house, your heels echoing on the marble floors.

The Hong family gave the two of you generous compliments the whole ride to the residence, Joshua fanning himself for dramatic effect.

"Lady Y/N, you might be betrothed by the fall if you keep looking like that." He teased, his eyes skimming along you with a burning heat.

"Joshua, you're too much of a tease." You rolled your eyes, ignoring the prickle of your skin from his compliments. While he was your friend and host, he still was an unwed, attractive and highly coveted man within The Ton. You had to keep an eye on that one now…

The ball was hosted by the Yoon family, their residence being amongst one of the biggest within the city. Most balls were held in families second homes, either along the edge of the city or within the countryside. The Yoon family had so much wealth, their home was rivaled only to the royals.

"You're telling me this is their main home?" Ana watched the mansion fall into line of sight, Mr. Hong chuckling at her reaction.

"The Yoon's have been the most loyal family to the royals for centuries. Most of this wealth comes from their dedication to the crown." He explained.

"So tell me… do they have any bachelor sons..? I'll take a cousin as well." The carriage exploded with laughter at Ana's antics, her grin wide as you leaned into her with a giggle.

"Well, their only son Jeonghan, was married two seasons ago. I believe one of the cousins, Yoon Keeho is still unwed. You'll have fierce competition though, every mama in The Ton will be working overtime tonight to get him to look at their daughters." Mrs. Hong added, her champagne color dress sparkling under the street lights leaking into the carriage.

"Y/N, Mr. and Mrs. Hong, Joshua. If you find Lord Keeho for me, you'll be given front row seats to our weddding."

"I'm your sister, I better get a front row seat!" You smacked at her arm, giggling at your baby sister.

The carriage stopped in the long cobblestone road, the line of carriages extending far. Mr. Hong ushered everyone out, promising it would take another hour to reach the front.

"Xavier will find us after, let's get in while we can." He offered a hand to help you out, your heels clicking along the cobblestone as the group made its way to the entrance.

Inside the mansion was lively, hundreds of people swarming around the busy mansion. Bouquets of flowers bigger than you've ever seen were elaborately arranged, desserts and other finger foods stacked high on wracks all around. You were barely inside for a minute before everything started to overwhelm you.

"Oh! There's the Lee brothers! Let's make haste!" Ana announced, grabbing your hand to drag you towards the sibling pair. You tossed your head back, eyes pleading with Joshua as he laughed, shoulders going up in a shrug.

"Glad to see some familiar faces. How are the Ellerium Ladies doing tonight?!" Seokmin exclaimed, kissing the backs of both of your hands softly, Chan bowing in greeting.

"I've got to say, this is the most expensive looking home I've ever been in!" Ana joked, the two brothers laughing.

"The Yoon's know how to do it big!" Chan nodded in agreement. "Would you ladies like to join us for a dance?" He asked, his eyes landing on you, a silent way to ask for permission to steal your sister away.

"That would be marvelous, let's go!" You agreed, watching Ana instantly reach for Chan and make their way towards the center. A hand rested along your back gently, Seokmin guiding you with silent and gentle authority.

You wrapped your arms loosely around his neck, his hands barely hovering around your waist. The two of you gently swayed to the string symphony in the background, Seokmin dancing effortlessly alongside you.

"How's the season been for you?" You inquired, wondering if he had any serious prospects.

"Overwhelming. Boring. A bit of everything, I fear the social season will have worn me out come the fall." He chuckled.

"Too many Ladies to choose from?" You tilted your head, Seokmin shaking his own briefly.

"No, No. Not enough of the right ones."

"I'm sure there will be a wonderful Lady out there for you, my Lord. You're so kind it would be impossible not to." You commented as he removed his hand from your waist, giving you a twirl.

"Thank you, darling. You're right, maybe she's right in front of me?" His eyebrow went up, a soft smile upon his face. Your stomach churned, anxiety settling deep in your gut.

You didn't know how to handle all the sudden attraction from the different men. You thought after seven years, you would be past any potential feelings when the season came around. You weren't blind, you knew if you came with Ana that someone would try getting to know you. You just weren't ready for the commitment, having grown so comfortable on your own for years.

"I'll have to get back to you on that one, Lord Seokmin." You forced a smile as the song crescendo's to an end. You gave a quick bow, turning on your heels to find an escape. The air was turning suffocating as his implications swirled in your head. You heard him call your name as you pushed through the crowd, desperate to leave.

You spotted the glass door to the garden and sighed in relief, pushing through the doors with ferocity. The night air was refreshing, taking in gulps of air in attempt to settle your nerves. You walked further into the greenery, your breaths shaky as you found a bench to hide out at.

You kept your eyes closed, inhaling deep breaths to steady yourself. Seokmin couldn't be serious? What was it about you that drew their attention?

You heard a twig snap, startling you. Your eyes flew open and you whipped your head towards the sound, spotting a figure approaching you in the dark.

"Are you doing okay?" A familiar voice called out, Hansol's figure becoming visible under the twinkle of the floating candles in the garden.

"Wasn't expecting anyone out here, and most certainly not you…" The main source of your issues was standing in front of you, his expression blank yet the slightest turn of his head showed he was confused.

"Am I allowed to sit or are you going to bite my head off?" You huffed out a laugh, scooting over to allow him space. He settled quietly next to you, his eyes trained on the lilies in front of him.

"To answer you— no, I'm not doing okay." You sighed, pressing your palm to your forehead. Hansol turned, silently waiting for you to continue. "I don't deserve any of this attention." You barely mumbled out. If Hansol wasn't directly next to you, you doubt he would've heard. "I came here for my sister— just for my sister. I didn't ask to be pursued."

"Why do you feel so strongly about this? You don't want to give love a chance?" You laughed, the words rich coming from him.

"You're asking me when you're the one who's sworn off marriage. When you have women flaunting over you every day, Hansol." He opened his mouth to speak before you cut him off. "I know, you're only settling for the perfect one, but we're almost like two sides of the same coin now."

"Are you saying we're perfect for each other then?" A hint of a smirk was visible on his lips. You pursed your lips, not in the mood for his jests.

"What? No, stop toying with me." You grew frustrated, knowing he was causing most of your turmoil and he didn't even know.

"What if I told you I was one hundred percent serious just now." His tone dropped, his eyes wandering across your face.

Your lips parted, disbelief wracking your senses. The hum of the party grew into background noise as your ears rang.

"You're a fool."

"I would be more than pleased to be your fool." He was quick witted, not missing a beat with you. He typically remained quiet, never sharing his feelings but he couldn't hold back any longer. His hand resting on his thighs twitched, fighting the urge to grab your face and bring your lips towards him.

"Hansol, I.. I don't know if I'm ready for marriage. I can't guarantee you anything so please, please, find another Lady." Your voice shook, your resolve crumbling. You had to keep your walls up, no man— not even Hansol, could bring them down.

"I've waited all these years. I would wait for you until the day you're ready." His voice was sure and steady, his eyes the most serious you've ever seen them.

You worked the courage to meet his gaze fully, watching his pretty eyes linger on your own. In a moment so quick, you nearly missed it, his eyes landed on your lips before trailing back to your eyes. You sucked in a sharp breath, feeling the air around you changing.

Your eyes widened as you watched Hansol begin to lean down, the world slowing to a halt. It was just you and Hansol now, your heart thundering through your chest. Just as his lips nearly were on yours, you turned your head sharply. His breath fanned across your cheek as you trembled, his lips almost resting on the cheekbone.

"I'm sorry, Hansol, I truly am. I cannot be the one for you." Your gaze was settled on the shrub across from you, your cheek still turned away from the quick maneuver. You heard the shuffle of him leaning back and you stood up abruptly.

You took a step back, Hansol softly calling your name; an inkling of hurt lingering in his tone. His wide eyes were shining in the moonlight, making your stomach lurch. You shook your head roughly, tears forming in your eyes as you took off running through the garden, leaving him behind in disbelief.

You fought to keep the tears from spilling over, not wanting a trail of eyeliner running down your face as you reached the garden doors once again. Pushing through the crowd of people, you searched frantically for anyone you could confine in, when your eyes landed on Joshua; emerged in conversation with Seokmin.

That was the last place you could be right now.

You wandered in the opposite direction, ready to leave the event. You wanted to crawl into bed and sob, your heart aching like you've never felt it before. The longer you stood in this ballroom, the harder it was to breathe.

"Lady Y/N, are you alright?" You whipped your head to see Mr. and Mrs. Hong, chatting with Mr. and Mrs. Lee. The tears pooling in your eyes threatened to spill as you shook your head. Mrs. Hong leaped into action, wrapping her arms around you and telling Mr. Hong to find their carriage.

"Can you tell me what's wrong, dear?" She lead you towards a corner, away from prying eyes as you kept your focus trained towards the floor.

"I would like to leave. Ana and Joshua shouldn't leave early because of me, but I have to get out of here, Lady Hong."

Mr. Hong reappeared, alerting you to the carriage waiting out front.

"Should we grab Joshua and Ana?" He questioned, a worried look on his face upon seeing your trembling form.

"No dear, you stay here. I'll go with her and send Xavier back with the carriage as soon as we arrive." He nodded, resting a grounding hand on your shoulder briefly before Mrs. Hong pulled you out the grandoise doors.

The moment the doors of the carriage closed behind you, the well of tears that had built up finally came pouring out. Sobs wracked your body as you nearly wailed out from how hard the tears rushed down. You were aching. You typically held your emotions in well, an unwavering anchor for your family. The stress of the past few weeks finally caught up to you, with Hansol's words burning in your mind.

Mrs. Hong stayed quiet, not once forcing you to talk to her. She rubbed calming circles into your arms and whispered hushed promises that you'll be okay.

You hoped she was right.

By the time the carriage pulled up to the estate, your makeup was ruined. Streaks of eyeliner marked your face as your maid stared at you in shock when you entered the residence.

"Anica, help her get that makeup off. I'll be by soon."

You threw the door to your room open, your maid following close behind.

"My Lady, let me help you."

She worked to gently remove your makeup, wiping away the black streaked spots. You helped her take your hair down, pulling bobby pins out with puffy eyes. She remained silent at your request, though you felt her worrying eyes. When you finished and washed your face, you didn't expect to see Mrs. Hong sitting on your bed.

"Wanted to make sure you were alright dear. I won't make you tell me what happened, but I'm here as a listening ear if you'd like." You appreciated her approach, the opposite of what you're expecting when Ana got home.

You were tired, flopping onto the soft bed with a pout.

"I don't know what to feel and it scares me." You mumbled, toying with the top sheet as Mrs. Hong waited for you to continue. "I've avoided all affection for years, and I thought I wouldn't be this… weak… coming into this season."

"Having feelings doesn't make you weak, it's in our nature, sweetheart. You're allowed to feel this— to work through these feelings." For one of the few times in your life you were genuinely conflicted— and scared.

"Which one of them is it? I know it has got to be either Lord Seokmin or Hansol."

"What if I told you it was a little bit of both. Mostly Hansol though. Most definitely Hansol." Her mouth tweaked into a smirk, reading you like an open book.

"My my. For someone who didn't want a suitor this season, the boys are persistent about you!" You groaned, throwing your head back onto the pillow behind you.

"No matter how many times I say it, they keep coming back! Hansol, he… he almost kissed me tonight." Your revelation has her eyes bulging, her jaw dropping unexpectedly.

"You've put a spell on that boy. If Choi Hansol is pursuing anyone, he must really have his mind set on you."

"I don't know what to do Mrs. Hong! I can not see myself leaving Ellerium, and the thought of both Ana and I getting married when I should've done so about five years ago.. It's nerve wracking." You were never supposed to come here and catch feelings for someone. You're Ana's anchor. Her guidance throughout this crazy time in her life— to help her step into her womanhood. You felt selfish now.

"I know what you're thinking… about coming here only for Ana. From the way things are going, Lord Chan will propose eventually. He is committed to her." You nodded, seeing firsthand how Chan was working to be active in her life.

"Your mother passed when you were young. You've been a caretaker all your life; isn't it time you allowed someone else to take care of you?"

Her words weighed heavy in your mind that night as you tossed and turned.

The moment Ana came home she demanded you to share what happened. You groaned and begged her to blow the lamp out and that you'll catch her up in the morning. She was irritated, but respected your request just for once.

A week went by after the faithful night, and you had yet to see Hansol anywhere. He stopped by briefly one morning to retrieve something from Joshua, mumbling a stiff 'hello' to you as you returned the gesture.

Joshua wasn't stupid. His best friend who damn near lived in his house barely stepped foot in the residence for over a week. It didn't take a genius to put the pieces together. He knew something had happened out in the garden between you and Hansol. He was aware that Hansol liked hiding in the gardens during parties, and from the information he gathered from Seokmin; you had stormed out there after the mere mention of marriage.

"Tell me truthfully, what happened with you and Hansol?" He questioned you one day in the drawing room, halting his piano session to bore his eyes into yours.

"Nothing's wrong, Joshua…"

"Right… Because my best friend of fifteen years suddenly stops coming around after you flee the ball in tears. And suddenly he's 'Lord Choi' or 'Lord Hansol' once again when a week ago, he was just 'Hansol' to you." You gulped, knowing Joshua had read you with ease.

"He said he would wait for me.. to accept him. It was too much and I told him I'm not the Lady for him. Left him behind without looking back and it probably was for the best." He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly distressed.

"When I say this, please don't take offense-"

"Don't disrespect a Lady, Joshua." You joked, earning an eye roll from him.

"You are so, so dense. My word… I've never seen Hansol like that before. The guy is usually off in his own world, yet he's willing to make you his entire world." You avoided his eyes, turning back to your book as your heart sank. "You deserve happiness, no matter how much you tell yourself you don't. Hansol is a perfect match for you."

"You're saying this because he's your best friend."

"I'm saying this," he paused to accenture his words. "Because I see two people who swore off love, holding out hope for a perfect love match. My word if I ever saw a love match, it would be you two."

You mulled over your conversation with Joshua's as you soaked in the tub that night. You would have a chance to speak to Hansol at the upcoming ball this Friday. His family was hosting this time; at their house in the countryside.

Your eyes were closed as thoughts of Hansol filled your mind. You wondered how his lips would've felt on yours, if he kissed gently— or with ferocity behind it.

The more you imagined scenarios of Hansol, the more you grew frustrated, with a dull ache formulating between your thighs. You needed to relieve some of your stress anyways.

You trailed a hand down your body, stopping to roughly pinch at your sensitive nipple, before dragging down to your center.

You teased the hole, pushing a finger inside with an airy sigh. Working yourself open, you pushed a second finger in, curling up to meet that spongy spot that had you trembling.

You remember how strong his hands felt along your waist. How big they were spread out across his journal.

You imagine his long fingers pumping inside of you right now instead of your own. Biting back a moan, you pinch your clit, eager for a quick and hard release.

The water in the tub sloshed around as you bucked your hips up, your orgasm hitting you suddenly as your vision went white. Hansol's name was quietly on your tongue as you came, wishing his face was buried in your sopping cunt.

You threw your head back against the edge of the tub, the blissful feeling easing the anxiety in your system; even if it was only momentarily.

You felt guilty, a sense of shame washing over you for touching yourself with him on your mind.

Little did you know, at the same time across town— Hansol was spread out on his bed, actions mirroring your own.

With quick pumps of his heavy cock, he came hard, jerking his hips up and spilling all over himself with a soft cry of your name.

His hand was nothing compared to what he hoped your cunt would be, but it would have to make do for now.

As the ball hosted by the Choi's approached, you felt uneasy with the thought of running into Hansol again. You knew you couldn't avoid him forever, and would have to tackle your conflicted emotions finally.

The night prior to the ball, you found sleep hard to come upon, Ana tossing in the bed next to you. She turned to you, and you felt her gaze even within the darkness.

"I'm not stupid you know. Something happened with you and Lord Hansol because you like each other. It may not be my business to know the full extent, but if you're holding back because of me… I urge you to let go, sister."

"Ana it is too late to be divulging in this-"

"I don't care," she spoke your name with intensity. "You've held back from him all season long. I like Lord Chan and haven't even thought of Lord Hansol in weeks."

You watched her from your peripheral, her hands clasped over her stomach as she stared at the ceiling.

"You've done your duty as a big sibling. Now go chase your dreams. Your Viscount is waiting!" She poked your side, earning a yelp from you as she laughed, body trembling from laughter in the darkness.

"You promise you're not mad at me? I don't even know if I truly like him or not Ana…" You felt her eyes on you, taking in your outline in the faint glow of the moonlight.

"Why would I be mad at my sister for pursuing her happiness? You've given me everything I could ask for in life, it's your time now to fight for yourself."

You swallowed hard, your throat closing up as you fought the tears out of your eyes. Taking up the mother role in your household at a young age had warped your ideal of happiness. Your every decision was for your siblings, never considering yourself first. You felt a sense of relief wash over you knowing your younger sibling basically gave her blessing.

"I love you, Ana."

"I love you too." You felt the bed shift and heard the bed sheets rustle before feeling her arms around you. You squeezed her back, finding comfort within her arms. The two of you stayed like that for a long time before her breathing evened out, signaling she had fallen asleep holding you. Your eyes eventually grew heavy, finally falling sleeping within your sisters arms.

"Earth to Y/N? Care to join us back here?" You snapped out of your daze, turning to Ana in the carriage as she smirked lopsidedly at you.

"Care to share what was on your mind?" She teased, eager to see you grow flushed.

"No, I'm alright." You stared at your bright red silk dress pooling at your feet, Ana's pale purple dress flowing into yours.

"My girls… you look stunning today." Mrs. Hong commented, a gentle smile on her face.

Her gaze met your own, her eyes holding yours like a way of reminding you to stay confident.

The Choi's countryside residence was only about an hour from your house, the journey short compared to the one you had made from Ellerium a few months prior. Their home was beautiful, acres of lush greenery filling your vision as a string of lights lighted the path towards the entrance.

"You better find Lord Hansol and don't run away this time." Ana whispered to you, extending her pinkie out.

"No promises…" You looped your pinkie around hers, wiggling to seal the deal.

As everyone filed out of the carriage, you couldn't help but worry. You were a ticking time bomb, your emotions heightened like never before. The simple sight of Hansol could set you off right now. How were you to have a responsible conversation with him right now?

The inside of the Choi's country home was beautiful, marble floors and high ceilings throughout the whole foyer. The strum of the symphony helped keep you grounded, softly humming to the count.

"We're going to search for refreshments. Care to join us dear?" Mrs. Hong glanced at you, her eyebrow going up in question. You nodded, arm linked within Ana's as you trailed behind the family.

You kept your arm looped within Ana's for the majority of the night, sticking close by her side. You were undoubtedly pissing her off, knowing you were avoiding Hansol at all costs still. Upon sight of Chan, she squealed in excitement, unhooking your arm from hers.

"Stop being a wuss. I'm going to Lord Chan now." She pinched your arm hard before spinning on her heels, the brown haired man greeting her with a wide grin.

You huffed, spinning around to go and find Joshua to conspire with. You didn't want to be out on the floor alone, searching for your friend when you caught sight of the very man you were avoiding.

Hansol wasn't looking in your direction, as he was engaged in deep conversation with a woman with dyed ginger hair. He looked handsome, his dark brown hair parted in the middle and styled. He sported a navy outer coat, similar to the ball prior.

You tried not to stare, but you were enticed by him, knowing you would have to speak to the Lord eventually. You were making your way towards him when you caught him throwing his head back in laughter, a hand resting on the girl's shoulder.

You stopped in your tracks, the brief moment of clarity you had dissipated as you only felt anger and disappointment with yourself now. Hansol's eyes lifted up, catching yours glaring at him a few feet away. His smile was slowly wiped off his face as you had a staring match. You turned sharply, storming away as you heard your name called out behind you.

You didn't know why you were so mad, you had no right to be. Maybe because you were taking a leap to swallow your pride, just to see him getting cozy with another woman.

"Wait! God you walk fast…" You heard Hansol catch up to you, a hand falling onto your shoulder.

You whipped around furiously, tossing his hand off of you.

"How dare you touch me, Lord Hansol? In front of all of these watchful eyes? I am not your betrothed." You hissed, Hansol jumping back from the venom in your voice.

"I'm confused, what has gotten into you?" He whispered your name, his voice calm despite your malice towards him.

"You're absolutely unbelievable." You scoffed, shaking off his hand that reached out for you once more. You didn't care that the members of The Ton around the two of you had to be staring, you felt embarrassed and had to disappear.

You found yourself drawn towards the garden once again, the big glass doors already wide open as you ran out into the greenery. You heard your name called, Hansol following behind you. He casually strolled up to you, slightly out of breath from the light jog before.

"Come back inside, let's talk out of the rain."

You were so overwhelmed you hadn't even noticed the light drizzle pattering against your skin.

"No, no, because I'm livid!" You threw your hands up, frustration taking over now that you were face to face and alone. "I hate you, Choi Hansol!"

He wore a look of surprise, his lips parting as he couldn't understand why you were going off on him suddenly.

"What have I done-"

"I hate you for making me feel this way! Why did you come into my life and have to change things?" You felt the tears prickling in your eyes, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak.

Hansol stared, his expression conflicted as he remained silent, waiting for you to finish.

"I- I just… I don't know how you could pick me, over Ana. I should've stayed in Ellerium, I should've never came here." You shook your head, your tears finally falling.

"I can't believe I let myself get caught up in you, how could I be so stupid to allow myself to yearn for your… your love." Your voice trailed off, shaking as you laid your emotions down on the line. Hansol's hair was becoming damp, droplets falling into his eyes yet he couldn't care less.

"You're not stu-"

"Yet you had to make me feel embarrassed in there. All over another woman like that? I should have known this would be how it turns out."

"You cannot be talking about Seulgi-"

"I don't give a damn who she is! She isn't me!" Your eyes widened. Hansol's eyebrow shot up as he snorted at you.

"Can I speak now?" He questioned, watching you carefully like you would continue to chew him out with a single breath. You nodded slowly, the rain making your hair feel heavy, your perfect curls falling into a mess along your shoulders.

"You're scared, that's what feelings can do to you. To any of us really. You have no idea how much courage it took me that night in the garden to try and kiss you." You averted your gaze, remembering how his breath fanned along your cheek. "It hurt a lot, yet I cannot blame you a single bit. I shouldn't have came onto you suddenly, knowing how you felt about your independence."

He pushed his damp hair back, praying you didn't notice the way his hand shook from anxiety.

"No matter how many times you can yell at me, scream, and curse me out, I would still choose you. Again and again in every lifetime. You can try and push me off onto your sister, but it would never work." You were trembling, unsure if it was the rain causing your shaking, or the pound of your heartbeat.

"But… Ana is more of a debutante, an exceptional woman-"

"Yet it was never her. It would never be her. It was always you from the start." He proclaimed softly, his voice never wavering with you.

You were shocked, taking a step back as he stepped an inch closer, rain blurring your vision. Or was it the tears swimming in your eyes?

"Marriage has never been on the table for me. I have traveled all along the globe and yet that desire I desperately searched for… I have only found once meeting you. You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires." Hansol's gaze was steady, his eyes glimmering back at your own tear filled eyes.

You cried out, a combination of a laugh and huff, reaching for his hands to slide into your own. You were both drenched at this point, the rain coming down harder now, yet neither of you cared.

"Hansol… I'm so scared. I'm scared because I can see a future with you that I've never imagined before. If you are patient with me… I think I would love to be yours." You took every ounce of strength to get out your confession, watching the slow spread of a smile forming on his lips.

"You do not have to accept my love immediately, or embrace it, or even allow it. Knowing you, you probably will not. But you must know, I will wait for the day you are ready, with open arms." His hands drew circles into your own, his grip squeezing you gently.

His proclamation moved you, tears silently falling from your eyes once more. Hansol brought a thumb up, brushing away the stray tears. You sniffled, feeling sheepish for still wondering about the ginger haired woman from earlier.

"So.. who was that girl in there?"

"Seulgi?" Hansol laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "A childhood friend of mine. She's been married with two kids for six years now."

Your lips formed into a pout, feeling silly for jumping to conclusions so quickly. Perhaps you already were whipped for him.

"Now I feel ashamed… I'm so sorry." He grinned lopsidedly at your sheepishness.

"Don't apologize. I told you there's nothing to worry about. My heart fully belongs to you." He took your hand, guiding it to his heart to feel the quick thumping there. He was anxious, his heartbeat showing how intense the situation was for him as well.

"Is it alright if I kiss you now? Or will you run away from me again?" You smiled up at him, rolling your eyes as you pulled him closer.

"I think I'm done running for now."

"Good, otherwise I'd have to get you a bell miss." You laughed at him, watching his eyes crinkle as his grin grew even wider.

With his finger coming under your chin to tilt you up towards him, he leaned down, gently pressing his slightly chapped lips against yours. Your mouths moved slowly together as you melted into his arms. The patter of rain continued to pour down on the two of you, a background thought as his hands gripped your waist tightly.

Anyone in The Ton could walk out into the garden right now and find the two of you tangled up in one another. Despite all of that, you had no care about who saw you.

Hansol pulled back, your eyes slowly opening to catch his wide, glowing eyes peering down at you.

"Was that okay with you?" He asked cautiously, searching your face for any discomfort.

"Your lips are better than I ever imagined." You mumbled, your eyes falling onto the pink flesh once more.

"You've thought about this before?"

"You're telling me you haven't, My Lord?" You teased, playing with the hairs that curled at his nape.

"Oh I've imagined more than just that…" Hansol had a new surge of confidence now that you had accepted his hand.

"Oh? Do tell?"

"If you'd allow it… perhaps I could show you instead." His gaze was heavy, a burning desire behind his otherwise calm expression.

Your stomach jumped, this time in excitement rather than anxiety.

"I would be honored, Hansol."

The adrenaline rush that flowed through you as Hansol lead you back in through a private entrance had you buzzing. The two of you were soaking wet, sneaking into the home through the entrance used most frequently by maids, to avoid any unwarranted attention from the event carrying on inside.

"We're not too far off from my suite." He spoke in a hushed tone, his hand gripping yours tightly.

As you rounded the corner leading to the stairs, a young maid appeared, jumping with a quiet yelp. You jumped in response, not expecting to get caught so easily.

"Lord Hansol?" Her eyes traveled between Hansol and yourself, most likely wondering why you were drenched and using the maid entrance.

"Marge, keep quiet on this one yeah? If my mother asks, I stepped out for a while." He placed a single finger over his lips, a plead for the maid to remain quiet. A faint smile formed across her face, nodding in agreement as she bowed quickly and hurried past.

The two of you shared a look, both of your lips twitching to fight the laughter off. Hansol continued on, stumbling up the stairs as the strums of the symphony in the ballroom rang through the staircase. Eventually, he turned down a long hallway, stopping at a wooden door. He pulled out a key, unlocking the door and quickly dragging you in behind him.

You watched as he lit the oil lamp, the room coming to life as you took in the area around you. You spotted a guitar and fiddle in the corner, a stand with sheet music next to it. A large wooden desk took up the middle of the room with a small couch nearby. His bed took up a majority of the room, the high frame catching your attention. There were drawings and postcards all along his walls, creating a very unique flare to his room that fitted Hansol.

"Like what you've done with the place." He laughed, shoulders coming up in a nonchalant shrug.

"Could use some improvement." The click of the lock caught your attention, Hansol leaning against the door casually. His arms were crossed over his chest, taking in your form from afar. His silent authority had an effect on you, Hansol not saying a word yet you knew what he wanted.

"You should change out of your dress. Can't have you catching a cold now."

"You should come untie me then." You spun around, pulling your damp hair over one shoulder as you heard the rustle of his trousers approaching. In seconds, a soft hand pressed along your shoulder blade, another toying with the ribbon down the back of your dress. Painfully slow, Hansol unraveled the back, your straps slipping over your shoulders. His breath hit against your neck, causing goosebumps to form with a shiver. He played with the strap, tugging it further down as your breath quickened.

"Step out of it." His voice was soft, yet you felt the command behind it.

You slid the red satin down, Hansol's hands lightly trailing along your body as you stepped out of it. His hands moved to quickly untie your corset, feeling the shell drop around your feet. His hand was steadying as you were nearly bare for him. You slowly spun around— the sharp inhale of air at the sight of you, unmissable.

"Your turn." You tugged on his white button up, the navy overcoat long gone the moment he stepped in the room. With a faint smirk, he held eye contact as his fingers flew down the buttons, his chest slowly revealing itself. He tweaked with the buttons along his trousers, pulling them down painstakingly slow. You bit your lip in anticipation, Hansol fighting the smug look off from how eager you had grown.

You both stood in front of each other, stripped down to just underwear. Your eyes shifted frantically, wondering who would make the first move.

Hansol took a step closer, his hand grazing against your hip. "Don't get shy on me now." Your name coming from him sounded sultry, a fire igniting in your lower belly.

You slid your hands up his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely.

"Kiss me again, Hansol."

He was weak when it came to you, wasting no time to capture your lips against his own. The kiss was rough this time, the weeks of unresolved tension coming to a head. His grip around your hips tightened, backing you up towards the edge of his bed.

The backs of your thighs hit the edge, causing you to topple back onto the bed. You remained connected, Hansol devouring your lips. You readjusted towards the middle of the bed, Hansol resting his hips against your own now. You felt him, thick and heavy, straining against his undergarment. You pulled him impossibly closer, the smack of your lips driving you insane. Hansol grinded his hips into yours, his length rubbing against your clit dangerously.

You gasped into his lips, moaning against him as you were desperate to keep his lips on your own. One of his hands trailed down your body, feather light touches along your burning skin. Finding your sensitive nipple, Hansol gave a tug, causing your hips to buck up into his own in pleasure.

He broke away from your lips, your moans spilling free as he worked on both of your breasts, neither one safe from the attack of his lips and mouth. His clothed length continued to dig against you, a wet patch forming in your underwear from the delicious drag.

"Hansol… it's too much." You groaned, a finger sliding through the mess of locks as he sucked and bit your sensitive buds.

"Tell me," He pulled off of you with a wet pop. "Have you ever touched yourself?"

You nodded, your eyes hooded as you stared down at Hansol who worked his way down your body. He kissed along your stomach, stopping short of your thighs as he gripped along your underwear.

"Yes."

His gaze darkened, slowly dragging your panties down with his jaw going slack. The sight had you squirming, eager to feel him between your aching thighs.

"I touched myself to the thought of you before, Hansol. I imagined it was you splitting me open instead." You admitted breathlessly, watching as he halted all actions.

As if his brain was frying in real time, he swore he could cum his pants from the imagery alone. He closed his eyes with a groan, imagining how you looked fingering yourself as his name spilled from your lips.

"Let me bring your fantasies to life then."

With little warning, you felt a long finger swirl around your entrance before pushing in. Gathering some of the slick there, he brought the finger back up to your clit, swirling his finger as you wailed from the sensation.

"Please try to keep it down. I don't need my family knowing I'm defiling you like this."

"You're such an ass-"

You jolted from the intruding feeling of two long fingers pushing into your cunt, your slick making it easy for Hansol to slide them in. You gripped him impossibly tight, fisting the sheets near your head as you rocked your hips. He worked you open, scissoring his fingers inside to stretch yourself for him.

"Have you had anyone taste you before?"

You felt your cheeks heat up as you nodded, thinking of the shop owner you had a crush on, back at Ellerium that you had given your first kiss to. He had ate you out along the counter of his shop after hours, but not going farther to 'save yourself for your future suitor.'

He hummed, leaning down to kiss along your plump thighs. His kisses trailed up, stopping just short of your cunt. His breath was sending chills up your spine as he glanced up at you momentarily.

"Bet I'm better than him."

His face was buried in your pussy instantly, a scream escaping you as his tongue moved brutally. He sucked loudly on your clit, fingers pumping into your dripping pussy with a gush.

You were trembling, gripping his hair tightly as he hummed into your cunt, devouring you like you were his final meal.

Your hips were chasing after him uncontrollably, his tongue alternating between fucking in and out of your hole and sucking on your clit. His nose bumped against your clit, sending shockwaves through you. His hand was resting along your thigh, keeping you spread wide for him.

You weren't going to last much longer, the buildup of your orgasm approaching quicker than you expected.

The vibrations of Hansol's groans against your cunt enhanced the feeling, your legs shaking as you moaned desperately.

"Hansol, I feel different.." You huffed out, the growing heat of your orgasm feeling more intense than you've remembered before.

"That's it, let go for me."

The view of him glaring up from between your thighs was sinful, his mouth playing you like a fine-tuned instrument. Hansol was in his element, enjoying every quiver and whimper you gave him.

One final pump of his fingers, and a rough swirl of his tongue along your clit had your orgasm rocking your body, stars shooting within your vision.

Hansol took everything you gave him, drinking up every drop of you as you yanked on his hair, grinding your cunt deeper into his face. He sighed blissfully, eventually pulling his face away with kisses all along your inner thigh as you came down for your high.

"Would you like me to give a rating?" You teased, sitting up on your elbows. Watching carefully, Hansol wiped his face, licking his fingers clean like it was nothing.

"Save it for after perhaps?" He chuckled, stepping back to slip out of his underwear, his thick length slapping up against his stomach.

Your jaw dropped at the sight of him, long and heavy, his tip red and leaking from neglect. He gave a few light strokes, holding your gaze as your wide eyes watched him eagerly.

"Hansol, let me taste you." You crawled down the bed towards him on your hands and knees, reaching for the thick length.

"No, not this time. This is about you." You glanced up at him through your lashes, a smug look forming on your face.

"This time? You plan on defiling me once again, Hansol?" He made a face at you, causing you to bust into laughter.

"I'm going to be ravishing you for the rest of our lives, viscountess." His tone was teasing, though you knew he was serious. Your stomach flipped at his implication, the conversation in the garden flooding your mind.

"Well then, don't leave me waiting, viscount." Your grin matched his own, his lips colliding with yours as he wore the smile on his lips still.

Not once breaking the kiss, he pushed you back down, crawling on top of you once more. His cock was poking against your inner thigh, an airy sigh leaving your lips from the feel.

"Is this the first time-"

"Yes… I've…I've never…" You trailed off, your cheeks growing flush.

"There's nothing to be ashamed or shy about. I want to know so I can take care of you, properly." His gaze was soft and reassuring, his hand trailing along your body slowly.

"Relax, I'm going to be careful." One of his hands slotted between your thighs, guiding two fingers past your glistening folds. You purred into his ear, allowing him to pry you open once more.

"You're doing so good for me." You hummed in response, feeling his digits slide out of you. He shifted above you, bringing your legs around his waist. The head of his cock brushed against your hole as he lined himself up, stopping just short of pushing in.

"If you're uncomfortable at any moment, do not hesitate to stop me." You nodded, your heart thumping in your chest.

"Use your words."

"Yes, I will, Hansol." You managed to get out breathlessly and the corner of his lip twitched.

"Good girl."

Hansol slowly pushed his cock in, the tip alone causing you to throw your head back with a loud wail.

Your walls clenched around him tightly, Hansol taking shaky breaths as he eased in inch by inch. He stopped about halfway to allow you to adjust, your hands gripping the sheets so hard your knuckles turned white.

"So perfect, you're doing wonderful." His words were igniting low in your belly, clenching around him on impulse. It took every ounce of strength to keep Hansol from fully ramming his cock in after you squeezed around him.

"Keep going, I'm okay." Your voice wobbled as he glided the last bit of his cock into you, bottoming out with a groan. You stayed like that for a moment, before the throb of his cock started becoming unbearable.

"Hansol, please move."

He pulled out nearly to the tip, before snapping his hips slowly back into yours. The sound that left you was guttural, Hansol groaning in time with you.

He kept his pace slow, admiring the way you shook under him, your eyes struggling to stay open with every thrust. The sight was lighting a fire in him, determined to keep your pleasure in the forefront for tonight.

You forced your eyes open, catching the way his lips were parted, the chocolate brown locks dangling over his lust-filled eyes.

The clap of your skin connecting filled the room, Hansol's lips on your neck driving you crazy. You clamped down on him, earning a deep groan in response. You needed him to pick up the pace— and desperately. You were fully adjusted to him, and eager to get wrecked.

"Hansol hon, can you speed it up a bit?"

His lips detached from your neck, tossing you a glance as he gave a strong roll of his hips. His cock dug into you, making a shaky moan leave your mouth instantly.

"Are you sure?"

"I am begging you to ruin me."

Hansol was a simple man. His lady asks for something, and she shall receive.

As if a switch flipped in him, he brought your leg higher up, a shaky breath escaping your lips in preparation. He drew his hips back, ramming into you deeply, the change in angles making his cock drag along your walls sinfully.

You were gushing around him, your wetness dripping where your bodies connected. Hansol watched carefully as his cock slid in and out of you, the clap of your thighs against his own driving him insane.

You were squeezing him so impossibly hard, Hansol knew he wouldn't be lasting much longer. He focused on your clit, gathering your slick from your hole and drawing circles along the bud.

"Oh my god!" You had never felt pleasure build up like this before, gripping the back of Hansol's neck as he worked for your second orgasm.

You felt the familiar build of your climax, mumbling nonsense as Hansol's cock split you open, his moans reverberating in your ear. His pace had picked up, rough drags of his veiny cock filling your warmth, your own moans pushing him closer to the edge.

"Hansol, I think I'm close.. so close.." Your eyes screwed shut as you felt the coil inside you snap, Hansol's name flying off your tongue as you spasmmed on his cock, shaking hard while you gushed down his length.

"Perfect, so perfect, god you're perfect." He buried his face in your neck, his hands moving to roughly grip your waist, chasing his high with a heavy slap of his balls against your puffy and overstimulated clit.

You could barely breathe, the waves of your climax still jolting you. In attempt to help Hansol out, you squeezed down on him, a guttural moan ripping from his mouth as he gave a final few shaky strokes. Quickly pulling out to cum along your stomach with his head thrown back, he moaned your name lowly.

Hansol leaned toward, dropping his weight next to you, shaky breaths filling the room. You were spent, your pussy aching from the stretch moments prior.

"Ready for your rating now?" You teased. Hansol huffed a mix of a strangled laugh and groan, lifting his head to meet your eyes.

"I'd rather not hear it at all." He deadpanned, yet the gleam in his eye told you he was messing with you as well.

"I wasn't too rough was I? I wanted to stay slow for your first time but-"

"But I am a heathen and wanted you to pick up the pace. Don't worry, you were amazing." You pinched his cheek, catching the light flush on his face before he ducked away, his ears still showing the pinkness.

"Was it not your first as well?" You tilted your head, Hansol shaking his in response.

"You thought I could devour you like that with no experience?" His eyebrow shot up as you opened your mouth to speak, closing it quickly as the words couldn't come to you.

"Well I know what you were doing on your European tour then…" He rolled his eyes, sliding off the bed to enter the attached bathroom, returning with a damp rag. He worked the rag over your body, soothing any spots he may have overdone earlier.

"To answer you, there has only been one other." You averted your gaze, feeling better knowing Hansol was nearly as inexperienced as yourself. "Anything else, Seungcheol has taught me."

You snorted, not expecting him to say that. The grin on his face gave away that he was teasing, earning a smack on his arm from you.

"You're insufferable, Choi Hansol."

"You'll learn to deal with it, my Lady." He planted a light kiss against your temple. Picking up his white button, up he helped you slip it on, only bothering with 2 of the buttons before you swatted him away, turning into the pillow. You heard him rustle with something, his trousers back on as he slid into the bed beside you.

"My sister is probably worried about where I am…" You suddenly felt a sense of consciousness, remembering the ball that was occurring a few floors down.

"No worries, Joshua knows." You cracked an eye open, watching the goofy expression spread on Hansol's face.

"How in the world does Joshua know?"

"You were too concerned yelling at me to notice Joshua watching us from the window." You move to throw a pillow at him, Hansol hiding his face with a cackle. "I caught him before we took the back entrance, we made eye contact briefly. He knows."

"Wonderful… Now Ana will be screaming about babies when I go back…"

"Speaking of babies… Should we make one right now?"

"Don't make me smother you with this pillow, Choi."

When you returned to the Hong residence the next day, hand in hand with Hansol, the drawing room exploded with commentary.

Ana shouted a quick witted "I knew it!" as Joshua slowly clapped, shaking his head with a congratulations.

"See this was the cousin I was talking about!" Chan added, laughing as you rolled your eyes at him in faux annoyance.

"About damn time, anyone with eyes could have seen you two from the start. The first dinner together I knew you would end up like this!" Mrs. Hong commented, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Ana squealed, throwing her arms around both you and Hansol. "I'm so happy for you, sister. You have no idea how much you deserve this." She pulled back with glowing eyes as you held her gently, your soft smile mirroring her own.

"Thank you, Ana. Couldn't have happened without you."

"Uh.. Yeah, I know!" She tossed her hair over her shoulder dramatically.

"Actually we have some news to share, now that you're here." Your eyebrow quirked up as Chan and Ana glanced at each other.

"We're engaged!" She whipped her hand out, the expensive diamond glistening unmistakably.

Your whole face dropped, Hansol's mouth flying open as he shared a look with you, knowing you were seething.

"You got engaged. Without my blessing beforehand?" Your eye twitched, the smile on Chan's face falling.

"Well, you know. Ana was telling me how much you approved of me and that you wanted her wed by the end of the season. So uh, surprise?"

Hansol didn't know if he would have to hold you back from scratching his cousin's eyeballs out, so he rested a grounding hand on your back.

Chan wasn't wrong at all, but you felt offended knowing he didn't ask you first. It had come up briefly between the two of you recently, but you had no idea he would've taken the initiative to go ahead and propose.

"Lee Chan, you are very lucky I like you and said you'd be a good match for Ana." Your anger subsided as you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around Chan. He went stiff, before returning the hug with a sigh of relief.

"I wish I knew before but, I understand. I'm just happy you two are betrothed." You stepped back with a calm smile on both of your faces, Chan nodding in agreement.

"So… am I now your brother in law or your cousin in law? Hansol did you pop the question yet?" Chan grinned widely, watching the way his cousin's eyes widened half a fraction; the typical blank face Hansol wore shifting to one of confusion.

"Uhh, not quite…"

"Well.. what are you waiting for Hansollie? Two weddings are better than one!" Chan gave a hearty laugh. You turned around, meeting Hansol's slightly panicked eyes.

"Oh my, father is going to flip when he finds out both of his daughters came back with a husband."

"Hansol isn't my husband-"

"Yet!" Everyone in the room called out, your face growing hot. Hansol scratched the back of his neck, a lopsided grin on his face.

As you met his gaze once again, you both casually lifted your shoulders, grinning at one another. You had found your perfect match, and after all the years of turmoil, there couldn't have been anyone better for you than Hansol.

The grin on your face was so wide your cheeks hurt. No matter how hard you tried, you and your sister were inseparable. To know you would be next door neighbors, even after marriage was joyous. Ana was bouncing off the walls, already rambling about how you needed to make haste and go dress shopping by midday.

Hansol came over to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, his bright gaze turned down towards you.

"I think 'Lady Choi' sounds perfect going before your name doesn't it?"

"Perhaps you are right, Lord Choi." You grew overwhelmed with your emotions, burying you face into his chest. Ana squealed in the background how cute two of you were, as the vibrations from Hansol's laugh echoed against your cheeks. His embrace was warm and secure, giving you a new meaning of home you didn't think you'd ever find.

The ladies of Ellerium would be leaving, but your heart was full, knowing that a piece of home would always remain with you.

[chogiwaw]

omg omg omg its out!!!!!!

[luvrung]

fated season | hvc (teaser)

at 27 years old you no longer had eligibility in the yearly season of courting. your only desire now was to get your younger sister married on her first season out this year. you never expected the loop that the choi family would throw your way with their youngest son hansol. he was perfect for your sister, yet why was he so intrigued by you?

pairing: viscount!vernon x f!reader

au universe: bridgerton

teaser wc: 916

full fic wc: 17.7k

expected release date: march 9th

teaser tags: internal struggles, eldest sibling struggles

main fic tags: angst, fluff, smut, slow burn, bridgerton inspired, lot of internal conflict w reader, mentions of anxiety, commitment issues, eldest sibling struggles, masturbation, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f), unprotected sex (more added on official post)

note: this is my part for the blockbuster collab! make sure to check out all these amazing authors when the fics drop <3 im so proud of myself for this one and cannot thank everyone within the collab more for all their support for our viscount vernon. hopefully everyone who reads will love him as well.

note 2: some special thanks are in order, first to @livmarauder for creating this beautiful banner! also to liv, @jakedustry, @cherrymayz for beta reading this, your feedback meant a lot to me as always. and most importantly, to izzy ( @jakedustry ), rae ( @nerdycheol ), and luna ( @belovedgyu ) for hosting this collab, giving all of us this opportunity, and being an amazing support system. expect an even longer thanks on the main post haha. these beautiful dividers are by @bronzewasp !!

BLOCKBUSTER MASTERLIST/TAGLIST

Walking into the doors of the Hong residence, the last thing you expected to see was Joshua running around shouting. You also absolutely did not expect to see Hansol crouched on top of a chair, face pale with a contorted expression upon his face.

"Hong Joshua, what in the world is going on!"

"Mother! A rodent made its way in our home!"

"Oh for goodness sake." She sighed, placing the boxes from the boutique into a maids arms. She was ready to ask Joshua where they last saw it when Ana let out a shriek, spotting the creature and running towards the chairs Hansol was hiding at.

"Oh shit!" You heard something crash and Joshua yelped, a broom in his hand as the mouse terrorizing the house rounded the corner.

"Joshua, give me the damn broom!" You shouted at the grown man running in circles from the mouse. He tossed it and you caught it with a slight fumble, swinging the door open, trying to attract the mouse.

"Shoo! Shoo!" You swatted the broom at the creature, watching it scurry out the house before slamming the door shut.

You glanced at everyone in the room. Joshua was huffing from doing a whole lot of nothing, chasing the rodent. Ana watched, perched on a chair directly across from Hansol, who's eyes were comedically wide. Mrs. Hong was unmoved, sharing an unamused look with you. Bunch of cowards.

"Lord Hansol, you're telling me all your travels across the globe and you let a rat get the best of you?"

You raised an eyebrow at him, a playful smirk spreading across his face.

"Never had to fight off rodents on the beaches of Portugal."

You groaned, the head maid taking the broom out of your hands with a smile. If Hansol couldn't even handle getting a mouse out of the home, how could you marry your sister off to him? Who was going to kill the bugs in that relationship?

"Unbelievable."

Hansol hopped off the chair, dusting his trousers off. He offered a hand to Ana, helping her down and sharing an amused look together.

"Sister would always get rid of the animals that found their way into our house. A squirrel was not safe around her." Ana joked, your eyes wandering between the two with a small shrug.

"Our house isn't in the city, someone had to take the role up." You stated simply; the others watching you curiously.

"Exactly as a big sister should!"

"Sure… More like Michael is a wuss." Hansol chuckled, learning about your younger brother over dinner last night.

"I don't blame him."

Your gaze shifted towards him, watching his struggle to keep a straight face.

"You're unbelievable, Choi Hansol."

"Hey! What happened to 'Lord Hansol?'" He teased, your eyes rolling hard.

"I'm going to the drawing room, the maids brought out some sandwiches. That is where you'll converse with Ana." You turned towards your sister, gesturing for her to follow you to the public room.

"Sounds like I don't have much of a choice?"

"Well of course not, my Lord."

You quietly chatted with Joshua as the two of you munched on the finger foods placed in the drawing room. You found yourself straining to hear Ana and Hansol's conversation on the couch farther down the room. Your gaze fell in their direction often, wondering if they were making any headway. Joshua noticed this, from the way you zoned out and stopped responding to him multiple times.

"You should go over there and sit with them at this point."

You glared at him, a bright smile across his face before he took a bite of pastry.

"Can a sibling not be concerned?"

"You should only be concerned with the man if he is actually interested." Joshua makes eye contact with you, confusion written all over your face. "Hansol has been adamant on remaining single. Said the right one for him won't be apart of The Ton, and if they are, he would have to fall for someone… unconventional…"

You swallowed hard, gaze shifting towards your feet momentarily. An unrecognizable feeling brewed inside your stomach upon his words.

"Well, Ana is a bit unconv-"

"No, she's not. Not by Hansol standards."

"Then what would be his standard then if not my sister?" Tilting his head slightly, his gaze softened.

"You."

"Joshua, you can't just say unrealistic things like that!" You kept your voice low, yet alarmed. He couldn't be spewing that with the man in question a few feet away.

"Unrealistic? You've known him for a day, I've known him my whole life. Trust me when I say it was you who took his breath away at first sight, not Ana."

His revelation was like a punch to the gut, knowing how hard you were working to get your sister betrothed as soon as possible. Joshua didn't know what he was talking about, there was no way Hansol desired you. He was a tough case to crack, and you were going to do so for you sister's case— not your own.

You cast a glance in their direction once again, finding Hansol's sharp eyes already on you. A chill ran over you as you avert your gaze, turning back to Joshua.

The intensity of his gaze alone had your stomach flipping, and your heart racing.

Perhaps if you were meaner to him, whatever attraction Joshua claimed was there would dissipate.

You were the wrong sister to choose, and he would have to see that.

[choco-scoups]

Gonna drop these here as an intro to my fic, love intertwined, for the blockbuster collab!! Hosted by lovely @jakedustry @belovedgyu @nerdycheol !!!

Im excited for everyone to see what i've been working on for the collab!! And also check out the more wonderful authors participating in the collab!!

[chogiwaw]

can’t wait!!