m

istj •20 ♈️ multi group stan lets be moots:3

[sheislucifer]

let me make myself very clear, on this blog its:

fuck donald trump

fuck ICE

immigrants are not illegal

free palestine

black lives have and will always matter

trans rights forever and always

pro choice

healthcare should be free

house the homeless

keep religion out of schools

LGBTQ+ rights

fuck the tories

if you dont agree, fuck off.

[paradiseonthemoon]

If u don’t mind me asking is there any timeline for when the next part of the jeonghan fic will come out 😭

hey!!!! thanks for asking i didn’t think anyone was rlly interested in the fic tbh 😭😭😭 my timeline is a bit iffy since i’ve been occupied at my new job + school! i hope to put it out by the end of the month!

[paradiseonthemoon]

JAEHYUNO

HES OUT HALLELUJAH I NEED HIM HALLELUJAH 🤤🤤🤤

[paradiseonthemoon]

₊✩‧🕷️♡︎₊˚🖤౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

cute little twitter interaction.. i hope. i luv eden & jeonghan tewww much:3

how’s everyone doing

[cherrymayz]

Every thorn has its twilight (Part 1)

Pairing: Spy!Jihoon x Assassin!Fem!Reader

Wordcount: 16k for this part.

Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence and death, mentions of blood, possession and usage of weapons such as guns and blades, multiple breakdowns(yes, these characters go through a lot), mentions of abandonment of children, mentions of war, murder, threats, betrayal, inaccurate depictions of spy x family characters/plot devices(for plot convenience), mentions of criminal organisations, self-condemnation and self-blame, slow burn, lots and lots of angst (im sorry if i missed anything, please let me know)

Synopsis: You and Jihoon have been living a peaceful married life for the past year. One fine morning, WISE and The Garden assign the two of you with the same mission, unbeknownst to either organisation. What happens when the spy and the assassin end up finding out each other's identities? Will you be able to keep the peace you so desperately long for or will you ruin it with your own hands?

a/n: hi everyone, this is part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab and this if my first long fic? I might as well just call it my first fic and god I'm honestly so nervous. I'm so sorry it took so long and thank you for waiting. First of all, big big big thank you to @belovedgyu, @jakedustry and @nerdycheol for hosting this collab and for having me participate in it(and also for being such sweethearts and extending my deadline). Also a huge thank you to my lovely darling @mellowamour for being there for me throughout this journey and for beta-reading, and my lovely cutie @livmarauder for helping with the banner and the title, like seriously, I could not have finished this without you both(thanks for being there when I was crashing out and quite literally scrapped more than half of my original draft and rewrote the story). Last but not the least, thank you to all my fellow lovelies @choco-scoups, @caratchronicles, @gentleisa, @luvrung, @hopecutie, @pomegranate-teardrop, @onionhassayyo, @chogiwaw, @paradiseonthemoon, @cxffecoupx who were a part of the collab and made me feel so welcomed and excited about this. I got to make so many friends and finally gathered the courage to start writing so yeah, this has been wonderful and i am so immensely proud of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading this!

One Sunday morning, Jihoon wakes up expecting to go through his weekend routine — making breakfast, waking up his daughter, eating together and spending the rest of the day trying to get Anya to study. He freshens up and goes to the kitchen wondering how to make studying better for Anya when he pauses to see his wife awake and trying to cook; he immediately knows that this day was not going to go as usual.

You, his wife as of last year, are panicking over the breakfast you seem to be trying to salvage, desperately. Jihoon sees the hoard of dishes in the sink from your failed attempts, and as always, he goes over to help soothe you while making sure that there's edible food for everyone. He calls your name, seeing you flinch and look at him apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to make a simple breakfast since you always cook but I can't seem to get it right. I didn't mean to wake you up or make such a mess." You start apologizing profusely, but he stops you by calling your name softly. "You don't have to cook when I can, you already do so much for this family, it's only right that you don't have to worry about this." He says, and thanks you for trying anyway.

Since he took over the cooking, you go to wake Anya in the meantime. By the time breakfast's ready, Jihoon sets the table to see that the two of you have come out of the room. After a peaceful breakfast, he thinks his day will proceed as expected after he fixed the fiasco this morning. He's interrupted by Becky, Anya's friend, who comes knocking at their door followed by her bodyguard, Martha. "Surprise!!! Anya! Let's go shopping today!" Jihoon sees his daughter eager to escape his nagging and lets her go for today, deciding it beneficial for her to bond with the Blackbell heiress.

Now that his routine of trying to get his daughter to study is out of the sequence, Jihoon thinks it a good thing, maybe I can get some paperwork done. He's interrupted from his thoughts when the phone rings, and he goes to pick it up since you're doing the dishes. "Jihoon, it's an emergency, your presence is required immediately." When he hears The Handler say, he informs you that he has an emergency at the hospital and rushes to meet with her.

Meanwhile, you are in the middle of doing the dishes when the phone rings again. When you pick it up, you realise it's a call from The Garden. A high priority mission, they say, an escort job like the last time on the cruise. Except this time, neither the client nor anyone else can know about your presence since it is going to be at the airport, the client will be departing on a "business trip" to leave the country. The client is reportedly a spy, which confuses you as to why The Garden would try to protect a spy. When you voice your confusion, they tell you, "She may be a spy, but the Red Circus should not get their hands on her as they will use her death as a political instigation to start a war against Westalis." The prospect of a war makes you determined to ensure this mission goes well, after all, the very reason you do this work is to prevent a war from hurting your family. It's different from your previous missions though, it requires you to be in disguise. "Additionally, you will have a team of three with you, all in disguise. It's a very sensitive mission and we cannot compromise our people or the client, so make sure no one recognizes you. No one should know any of you were there. She's leaving tomorrow." Those words keep playing inside your head as you try to figure out how to handle this.

At the WISE hideout, Jihoon is in the middle of a meeting where they are discussing the details of the new mission. "This mission is different from our previous ones, it's an escort mission." What? Jihoon questions if he heard that correctly. As if seeing right through him, The Handler looks right at him as she says, "That's right. An escort mission. The woman you see on the screen is one of our aides, Maya, who has been compromised. By that, I don't mean that she was discovered by the State Security, it is the Red Circus." That revelation catches Jihoon off-guard. "How?" He hears one of his colleagues question, as he wonders the same. "You see, she is an official with a family that no one would have suspected. As it turns out, her husband is part of the Red Circus and the two found out about each other's identities during the recent ruckus caused by the Red Circus, when she warned us about their activity." Once again, Jihoon is baffled. "How is that possible? Did she not see any signs during the time they were together?" The same colleague questions again. "He seems to have been with them since the very beginning and concealed his identity far better than any of us could have expected. We cannot always account for all the variables in life." Everyone seems stunned by The Handler's words, to think that the Red Circus had people that were so capable to fool a WISE aide for that long, it made Jihoon shiver just imagining the kind of damage they could do.

"Your mission is to ensure that she is escorted safely out of Ostalis, we cannot leave our aides to fend for themselves in times of danger like these. Leaving her in the hands of the Red Circus could cause the very war we're trying to prevent. They will use her death as the turning point to achieve their goals, painting it as Westalis' job and destroy this fragile peace between the two countries. You will be a team of four, with Twilight leading the mission. She will be leaving tomorrow for a "business trip", ensure that she boards her flight safely." With that, The Handler dismisses everyone. On the way home, Jihoon's mind is plagued by the weight of the situation, as it dawns on him just how badly the situation could escalate if anything goes wrong tomorrow.

When he gets home, he sees you cooking, again, despite his words this morning. Surprisingly though, his worries vanish when he sees that you managed to make something edible this time. "You look tired, I wanted to lessen your workload since you were called in for an emergency even during the weekend." Hearing your words, he smiles at you, thanking you for doing this for him. By the time you both are done eating, the bell rings and you see Anya in Martha's arms, in deep sleep. When Jihoon sighs at the sight, you just smile, endeared by them. Jihoon apologises to Martha, taking Anya in his arms and puts her to bed. Later, when both of you are in your rooms trying to sleep, you realise that even though the normalcy in your lives distracted you for a bit, the two of you are very much wide awake thinking about the severity of the mission tomorrow.

Monday morning arrives, with the two of you alert and awake. Jihoon goes to make breakfast while you wake up Anya and get her ready for school. Despite the mission ahead, you manage to maintain pleasantries the whole morning. You both send Anya off to school and part ways to get to work yourselves.

Anya, sitting in her school bus, is worried. She couldn't read her parents' minds today, it was a full moon after all. Even though everything seemed normal, both her father and mother seemed distracted. It bothered her that she didn't know the reason. She soon forgets about this once she gets to school and meets her friend, Becky.

You reach the City Hall on time as if you were here on your everyday work. Once inside though, your superior calls you in for an "errand".

"You will be disguised as Kira Blair, an American here on a vacation returning home this afternoon." Says your manager, pointing at the wig, scarf, mask, lenses and clothes.

Once you get changed into your disguise and step out, you are met with the sight of your teammates all in disguise, similar to you. This may be a different mission, but it's nothing you can't handle. You repeat those words in your head as you head to the airport.

Jihoon's team arrives at the airport around the same time your team is queuing up to enter the airport. As you enter, you discreetly look for your client and any possible attackers. Ironically, Jihoon stands a few steps away from you doing the same. When you pass by him at the security, Jihoon pauses, taken aback. Something about you feels so familiar but he cannot put a name on it. Before he can think about this more, you move further down the line while Jihoon finally spots the target. She's on the other side of the security check, alert and cautious of her surroundings.

You finish your security check when you spot Maya, making your way into a clothing store nearby while keeping your eye on her. Once Jihoon finishes his check in, he moves towards a restaurant close to the seating area where Maya is waiting for her flight.

You see your teammates moving around when you spot someone glancing at your client. At the same time, Jihoon spots someone moving towards her. This causes both of you to be on high alert, ready to move when you see the two passengers slip past Maya and head towards the gate open for a flight that is about to take off.

However, the two of you remain on high alert with that incident, keeping an eye on the surroundings while ensuring you don't make it obvious. Just then, Jihoon spots one of your teammates, nothing about him screams danger but to his trained eye, it is obvious that this person is not an ordinary passenger. He immediately straightens up, even more cautious, keeping an eye on him while trying to scope out the area to see if there are any more people like him.

You, on the other hand, spot one of Jihoon's teammates. Your gut screams at you that something is off, and when you look at your surroundings, a chill runs through your spine. Your senses alert, making you realise that the atmosphere is weirdly calm. Almost as if everyone is at complete ease but when you focus, none of them really are.

While you think of what your next course of action can be, Jihoon senses that the entire waiting area seems subtly alert. He couldn't pick up on this earlier, didn't think of this as soon as he walked in. He sharpens when he realises that the people here are far more skilled than he imagined.

You tap into your in ear monitor informing your team about your realisation. "There is a suspicious individual, he's wearing blue and is hovering around the sofa where Maya is seated." Having only identified one suspicious individual, you decide to lure him out to a closed space. "Kai, lure him into the washrooms and try to test him but do not alert anyone, please be careful not to involve anyone else."

Jihoon observes Kai moving towards his teammate, Lar and informs his team. "One suspicious individual identified, he's wearing a pink shirt and is currently moving towards Lar. Everyone, remain alert, we cannot cause a commotion here. Lar, be careful not to involve any civilians, we need to handle this carefully." While both sides trust their teammates to handle this, the teams still remain on high alert. You and Jihoon watch as your colleagues head inside an empty washroom, waiting with bated breath for them to come out safely.

A few minutes pass and when neither of you see your comrade come out, you both immediately spring into action. The moment both of your teams move, is when everyone recognizes there are more people. Apart from you and Jihoon, who are hidden in the restaurant and the clothing store, the rest of your teammates are exposed to each other due to their positions. With the realisation that your teams are exposed, you and Jihoon, as the leaders, take charge to keep your teams safe while keeping your positions in the dark.

Directing your teams to move, you and Jihoon check to see that Maya hasn't caught onto the commotion yet, nor has anyone else, thankfully. With no one having any weapons on their person, it all depends upon their physical combat. However, none can afford to draw attention towards themselves.

As you give instructions to your teammates, you realise that your every move is being countered, as if someone else was watching and instructing them too. Every time someone moves from your side, the enemy is already moving away. This fact has you looking around to find the other person, to see if your intuition was right, yet, you cannot find them.

At the restaurant, Jihoon is in a similar position, having observed how every move they make was countered, he could tell that there must be another person on their opponent's team instructing their teammates. He too, tries to find them to no avail.

Deciding to retreat for now, both teams move discreetly, enough to still keep an eye on the target but away from each other to not raise any suspicion. When your team is safe, you instruct them to lay low, deciding that the safety of the client is more important than eliminating the enemy. Jihoon too, instructs his team to focus on ensuring the target is safe over prioritising the enemy's defeat.

After the bitter withdrawal from the team fight, both teams refocus on their mission—escorting Maya safely out of this country. Still, everyone is extremely cautious, believing the other to be the enemy, all remain in complete awareness of Maya's movements as well as the enemy's movements.

Just as you and Jihoon contemplate how to proceed with the mission, an announcement interrupts you. "The flight to France departing at 14:30, boarding starts in ten minutes." You just have to keep her safe for these ten minutes and ensure she boards the flight safely. With the boarding time about to start, your teams are once again on the lookout for any threats near the target.

Seeing Maya move to get in line, Nora, one of your teammates, and Posie, one of Jihoon's teammtes, move closer to remain in the vicinity to protect her in case of any attacks. While they move, you and Jihoon remain in your spots, concealed from the enemy while trying to search for each other. Boarding starts in two minutes and the mission will soon be over, yet, neither of you can relax knowing that there are so many people here for reasons unknown.

A sound makes you and Jihoon pause, as the both of you turn towards the noise, realising it was just a child crying out loud, you both lock eyes. In that moment, both of you realise that you have found the person you were looking for. No one else would have reacted with that speed, but the fact that you did, gave you away to each other. Now knowing each other's positions, the two of you move to get away, because you cannot afford to confront each other and cause chaos in that critical moment.

"I've been exposed, I'm moving towards a quieter area, keep me updated with the progress of the mission." you say to your team.

"I've been compromised, I'll be farther away, keep me posted with the mission progress." Jihoon relays to his team as he continues to wonder why your eyes keep bugging him, almost as if something on the back of his mind is trying to remind him who you are.

You quietly move towards the restricted area, choosing a quieter place in case you are found again. Jihoon too, swiftly moves to the same area. You both are turning corners from the opposite sides when you, once again, lock eyes with each other. That is when Jihoon realises who you are, the person he saw at the entrance. He thought there was something so familiar about you, looking at you now, he wonders why he still feels that way, maybe because she's the enemy and my instincts recognised that, he reasons. Still, there's something about your eyes that feels so familiar and yet, he cannot tell because it looks like you have colored lenses on.

Knowing you have nowhere to go now, the two of you walk towards each other, sizing each other up, trying to decide how to go about this whole ordeal without airport security catching you. Once you get close enough to attack, you take out your hair pin to strike him while Jihoon tries to knock you out, only for both of your attacks to be useless against the other. When you realise this and change tactics, Jihoon manages to land an attack that has your mask slipping from the tips of your ears and your scarf tumbling down, exposing your face to him. In that moment, he is stunned, completely immobile; while you, despite being confused over his sudden inability to move, take the chance to strike at him, your hairpin accidentally hitting his face. The next moment, his disguise falls apart too, revealing the face of your enemy.

The two of you pause, a million questions running through your minds, confused and shocked beyond words. You think to yourself, what the hell is your husband doing here? All the while Jihoon is trying to understand the situation, because really, what in the world is his wife doing in front of him at this place? You both are brought back to reality when you hear your teammates reporting that Maya has successfully boarded the plane and it took off safely. With your teams urging for you to get back, you turn around, fix your disguises and revert because at that moment, it's all either of you can think of doing.

Getting back to your teams, both you and Jihoon stay silent, not answering your teams' questions. Still in shock, neither of you know how to move forward, but you're both keeping quiet about the whole situation, subconsciously. It is then that the thought hits you, you don't want to expose Jihoon. At the same time, he too realises that he does not wish to reveal your identity. That realisation keeps you both numb through the journey back to report to your organisations.

At WISE hideout, Jihoon and his team are gathered in front of The Handler, running through the course of events. When one of his colleagues mentions the other team discovering his position, Jihoon explains that he took cover in a restricted area and left the premises when his team reported the mission to be complete. On the way back home, he realises the weight of the lie he just told his comrades. If they were to find out what he did, not only would your life be in danger, but his too. After all, he would be suspected of treason. Still, he can't bring himself to expose the information that he, unfortunately, gained today.

At The Garden headquarters, you stand before The Shopkeeper while the rest of the team recaps the incident to him. Your coworkers mention that you were discovered, and The Shopkeeper turns to you to explain further. Your brain autopilots and launches into an explanation where you omit the confrontation altogether. On your way back, you realise that you hid the fact that your husband was the enemy from all of The Garden without hesitation. It dawns on you that your decision to do so could cost you both yours and your husband's lives, with you branded as the very traitor you so desperately tried to avoid being named as.

You reach home earlier than he does, seeing Anya watching her cartoons, your heart aches for her. Your thoughts spiral as you think of who he works for, why he does what he does and what this means for the two of you and for Anya, what happens to this family that you've built. If he truly is part of the Red Circus, why? Is there no way to make him turn away? Just then, the bell rings and your spine straightens as you prepare yourself for what might come. Anya rushes to the door, opening it and welcoming her father with a bright smile. He smiles at her as he walks in, then proceeds to scold her for not studying like she should be.

It feels surreal, the way everything seemed normal at that moment, like nothing happened, as if the two of you did not just discover something life changing about each other a few hours ago. When he looks up and meets your eyes, his gaze lacks the usual warmth, you realise. Of course, that is to be expected and yet, why does it hurt so much? Why does him looking at you like you're a stranger pinch at your heart so bad?

Standing in front of you, Jihoon sees the anger and pain in your eyes. It makes him see his own feelings mirroring yours. He should never have hidden the truth from his team, he should have killed you the moment he realised who you were, the moment you found out who he was. Yet, here he is, standing in front of you, in this place he has called home for the past year, feeling hopeless at the mere thought of you. He questions himself again, because why does the sight of you in front of him like this feel like betrayal? Why does seeing the pain in your eyes make him feel as if his heart has been ripped apart?

Anya sees the expressions on her parents' faces and is frustrated she cannot read their minds, not knowing the reason behind their discomfort makes her upset. Seeing how your daughter seems down, you both do your best to put her to sleep since you both know you can't have this confrontation in her presence. Once Anya's asleep, the two of you step outside her room, turning around immediately, pointing weapons at each other. You smirk to yourself wryly, wondering how you ended up in this position, with a gun to your head while you point one to your husband's.

"Who are you?" Jihoon asks, that question plagued his mind throughout the day, ruining him.

"I could ask you the same." You reply, having had the same thought mess with your mind for the entire day.

Jihoon presses closer, his patience running thin as he thinks of how wrong the mission could have gone. Seeing his aggression, you push against his chest with your gun, just the thought of a possible war making the rage in you explode.

The tension in the room is so thick it could cut through mountains. You stand in place, staring at each other as if it could give you all the answers you seek. It's only when the power suddenly goes off that you realise what you were doing, neither of you pulled the trigger when you both could have done so easily. Instead, you were still, as if time stopped while you desperately search for answers in each other's faces.

With the room now pitch black, you could no longer see each other's faces causing you to be alarmed. Immediately taking a defensive position, since you now know you're enemies, both of you assume this was a situation planned by the other to eliminate you. No longer being able to use your guns without causing a commotion, you abandon them to lunge at each other like you did earlier today. Except this time, he knows you use blades and dodges your attack just as you dodge his arm trying to tackle you. As you and Jihoon continue to attack each other to no avail, you curse in your minds at how difficult it is to even land a single hit.

Right, she's always been abnormally strong, Jihoon thinks to himself. He remembers the first time you two met, no wonder I couldn't sense her presence back then, it was because she's trained to hide it. He berates himself for not questioning it sooner, for not being more cautious while observing how swift and strong you truly are in this moment.

As you continue to attack him, you too realise just how quick he is and how it seems like he can read your moves, it pisses you off more than you already are. A thought pops into your mind, I let my guard down around him to the point I never realised how strong he was. That night where you both rescued Anya from the military forces and he flew a jet saying he once had a part time job that taught him to, you believed him, you believed him. Every single time, you trusted him without hesitation. It hits you how foolish you've been, not identifying any of the signs, letting him play you for a fool and your anger surges again.

When you lunge at him harder this time, Jihoon can feel it, the raw rage behind the attack, and the shock locks him in place as you manage to tackle him to the ground. Falling on his back, Jihoon braces himself for the impact of your blade against his skin but feels none. After what feels like an hour, he opens his eyes and is met with the sight of your trembling hand holding your blade against his neck but not cutting. You had the chance to kill him but didn't, the realisation has him stunned yet again.

You, on the other hand, are struggling with the torment of your conflicting emotions. Your mind says to kill, he is a traitor, the enemy, but your heart aches at the thought of killing your husband. With your mind in turmoil, you struggle to keep your grip on Jihoon. Your body betrays your exhaustion when the blade slips from your grasp and falls to the ground. Once again, you and Jihoon are frozen in place, trying to piece the situation together. It's at that moment when the lights turn back on and you can see each other's expressions clearly. The anger, the pain, the confusion, the shock, they all mix together as you try to figure out your next step.

You both rise to your feet immediately when you hear the door opening, Anya walks out rubbing her eyes. When she sees you both standing there looking all awkward, she frowns and asks, "Mama, Papa, what are you doing here?" As you both fumble to come up with an explanation, she yawns and proceeds to go to the washroom, deciding it's just you two being your weird selves. Seeing her walk away, you both sigh in relief but immediately turn to glare at each other. It's insane how Anya makes you forget your situation, making you realise how deeply involved you both have become in this family.

Knowing Anya will come back out any moment, you both stay in place, not wanting to involve an innocent child in your affairs. Once she comes back, she uncharacteristically asks to sleep with you. Unable to refuse her, you take her to bed giving Jihoon a look that signals this is far from over. Deciding to continue this tomorrow, Jihoon moves back to his room. Anya is in deep sleep while you're wide awake, questioning how your life has turned upside down within the span of twenty four hours. Jihoon too, cannot find it in him to sleep for the second night in a row because you plague his thoughts, refusing to let his guard down.

At this point, neither of you have realised that you have not reported each other to your organisations, both assuming that you did and that your organisations assigned you to eliminate the other.

Morning comes and you are both wide awake, having not slept a wink the previous night. Knowing you have to send Anya to school, you and Jihoon pretend everything is exactly how it was yesterday, using the normalcy of your lives in this family as an excuse to avoid the inevitable. He makes breakfast while you get Anya ready, that's how everyday goes and you both try to keep it that way today too.

Anya wakes up to you gently calling her, she rubs her eyes adjusting to the morning light when she hears you think, because it hits you now, the chaos of yesterday did not allow time for you to think about it but now, looking at Anya, you wonder, what will happen to Anya if you kill Jihoon? She would be devastated, surely. You question how Anya ended up under his care, slowly starting to wonder if anything you've known was ever true. As Anya hears your train of thoughts, she pales. The very thing she's spent a year trying to prevent, her parents finding out each others' identities, has come true. You see Anya's complexion looking haggard and worry, "Anya, are you okay? Do you feel sick? Are you hurt anywhere?" However, Anya cannot hear any of your words right now. She is panicking at the thought of what this could mean to your family, terrified she'll be abandoned again.

When you see her not responding to you despite you calling her name multiple times, your insticts kick in as you yell for Jihoon. "JIHOON!" He, who was in the middle of cooking, startles to hear you cry out for him, but his body moves before his mind can catch up. He runs to the room on reflex, and when he sees Anya, he understands immediately. His daughter looks as if she saw a ghost, you explain to him that she's not responding and he can see you losing your mind over it. You've always been very cautious around Anya, taking care of her like she's made of glass, he's seen you freak out over smaller things before and he realises why you yelled out for him so desperately. You love and adore Anya and seeing her unresponsive sent you into a state of panic that he's never seen you in before. He goes over to Anya, taking her into his arms while you try your best to keep yourself from crying. He tries talking to Anya when she suddenly bursts into tears, and it stuns both of you into silence. She weeps like never before and you have no idea what caused her so much pain but it breaks you heart to see your daughter break down like that.

As she continues to sob, you and Jihoon try your best to placate her the best you can.

"What's wrong, Anya? Why are you crying?" Jihoon tries to ask but receives no reply.

"How about this? I'll make you your favorite hamburger steak tonight, okay?" He tries to calm her with food but unlike every other time, his daughter doesn't react. Seeing this, Jihoon panics because because neither of you know how to make her stop crying. Just as he's racking his brain for a solution, he hears Anya mumble.

"A-Anya's scared."

Her words confuse you, what got her so scared that she's crying so much? Did she have a nightmare? That would explain it.

"W-will you l-leave Anya?"

Her words shock you, and you immediately ask, "Why would you think that?"

"B-because y-you," Anya pauses when she remembers she can't say that she knows your identities.

"Because Mama and Papa are fighting."

You and Jihoon immediately look at each other, wondering if she accidentally saw you battling each other. No, she was asleep and neither of you made a single sound that could have woken her up. Anya watches you two, reading your thoughts as her worries increase with your reactions.

"Why do you think we're fighting?" You ask her.

"You both look so serious and scary."

Hearing her say that, you both berate yourselves for not concealing your emotions better. Even though she is probably more sensitive to the tension between you as she is attuned to living with you, if a child can sense the difference, anyone can. Immediately, Jihoon tries to reassure her that's not the case.

"We're not fighting Anya, and we won't leave you. Don't worry about it, okay?"

Even though she knows he's lying about you not fighting, she wants to trust his words of not leaving her.

She looks at you as if asking you if that's true, and you soften. "He's right Anya, we won't leave you."

It's only then that she decides to trust you both.

"Promise?"

You and Jihoon look at each other and then at her, "Promise."

She reads your thoughts and realises you mean it, she cannot undo the fact that you now know each other's identities and she knows you will probably fight each other but she can tell, neither of you plan to abandon her.

"Do you want to go to school?" You ask, wondering if she can go in this state.

Anya shakes her head, she doesn't want to leave you two alone, scared you might kill each other.

You look at Jihoon, "I can stay and take care of her."

"I want to stay with both of you." You hear Anya say.

Jihoon looks conflicted, both of you staying together and pretending everything is fine is not something either of you wish to do. He sighs, softening when he sees the look on Anya's face.

"Okay, we can stay home today. I'll make your favorite and you can watch cartoons. Will that make you feel better?"

Anya brightens, nodding with a smile when she hears your thoughts, Will we be able to convince her that we're okay? Anya makes it her mission to make you both reconcile by the end of the day.

Now that all of you are going to stay home for the day, you and Jihoon make calls to let your superiors know that you won't be coming in today. They're surprised to say the least, especially when you mention that it is because your daughter is not feeling well.

Meanwhile, Anya tries her best to think of ways to make you and Jihoon reconcile. She finds Jihoon cooking the steak as he promised and rushes over to him. She looks up at him and says the words that make his world stop, "Anya doesn't want Mama and Papa to break up."

At the moment she says these words, you walk in to the hall and pause. Sensing your presence, Jihoon looks at you and sees the conflict in your eyes. He's sure his own eyes reflect the same turmoil. How are you supposed to continue to pretend to be a couple? The betrayal you both feel is impossible to leave behind and continue with your lives.

He must have reported yesterday's incident, if he doesn't kill me, his people will probably show up to do it instead. Anya hears you think, I should have done the same, what was I thinking hiding the fact that my husband was the enemy on the field?

At the same time, Jihoon wonders how long it would take before your people decide to eliminate him if you don't. Trying to think of places where they would probably try to intercept him, he plans to avoid them all. If he is killed, his team would be in danger, not knowing who found out his identity since he did not report the situation.

Anya, having heard both of your thoughts, realises that neither of you have revealed each other's identities to anyone else. It also seems like neither of you plan to do so anytime soon. It makes her overjoyed, even more determined to make you both reconcile.

You both break out of your thoughts when you hear Anya say, "I want to watch cartoons with Mama and Papa."

As you all sit on the sofa watching her favorite cartoon, with the two of you side by side as per Anya's request, you try your best to keep calm. However, the thoughts never subside, keeping you distracted and it shows when Anya looks at you both again. She sees how hard you're trying and failing to pretend all is well.

She makes you both play games with her, eat with her and spend the day as you would before this tension arose. By the end of the day, you both have managed to convince your daughter that you're not going to abandon her but Anya goes to bed disappointed that she could not make you both reconcile. She could hear you both thinking and she knew that your argument was far from over.

Once you made sure Anya was asleep, you turn to each other just like you did the previous night, except this time, neither of you make a move to fight. Having just spent the entire day with Anya, you don't have it in you to continue your argument from last night. You and Jihoon return to your own rooms, deciding to leave it be for now. It's only when you're both lying in bed, exhausted from having not slept for the past two days along with all the emotional stress you felt, that you remember you just turned your back to your enemy. He could have killed me at that moment, I let my guard down again even after knowing what he's capable of, you realise with horror. In his room, Jihoon is struck with the same thought, I've gotten used to this life, to her, I have to be more careful. Yet, neither you nor Jihoon realise that the other did the same, that you're both equally immersed in this family you've built.

It's Wednesday morning, and this time, everything seems normal when you get Anya ready while Jihoon makes breakfast. You eat together and see Anya off, but you don't greet each other like you usually do. You have been trying to ignore each other's presence while also being hyper aware the entire morning. You both get to work, going through the day as usual while trying to fight the thoughts that threaten to plague your minds.

When you get home, you go through the same routine, ignore each other's existence while pretending nothing has changed. That night, you lie awake again, this time, your anger rising again as you think about all the signs that you missed. The time he came dripping with blood to your colleague's party, it was only your second time meeting and yet, you didn't question him. The amount of times he had "emergencies" at the hospital, when he came home with injuries and claimed he had difficult patients, now that you think about it, what psychiatrist faces so many injuries so often? You feel angry at yourself for letting yourself be tricked so easily, he didn't even bother to try to make himself less suspicious. The thought irritates you, to think he thought you so easy to fool.

Jihoon is in a very similar position, thinking of all the times he thought you were suspicious but brushed it off as nothing. The times you came home so late, your unbelievable strength, he wonders how he was so stupid. He has always been two steps ahead, he was the one who fooled others, not the other way round. Yet, you got him this time, seeing you at one of his missions standing opposite to him as an enemy was something he never even imagined could happen. He feels angry at himself for putting his people in danger, it's his fault he didn't see through you. Another thought pops into his mind that makes him sit up straight, your brother, Yuri. He's a State Security Service agent, he always thought you didn't know about his job, but now he wonders, what if you did? If you tell your brother about him, Jihoon and his entire team would be compromised. With this thought, he makes up his mind to disclose your identity to The Handler tomorrow. Not once does it cross his mind that if you truly are a criminal, there is no way you would disclose your identity to a State Security Service agent since it would put you in danger, even if he's your brother.

The next morning proceeds like every other day, but this time, you're both angry again. You go to the City Hall when one of your superiors calls you in for a meeting. You wonder if they know, and the thought makes you more anxious as you realise that you still don't want to reveal your husband's treachery. Just as you're about to ask why you were called, you hear him say, "Our sources say that the people you encountered during your last mission were not from the Red Circus." Those words make you feel relieved, so he's not a criminal. Then that leaves one option, he must work for the State Security Service, it makes sense that they would try to eliminate a spy. Just as you think this, your superior continues, "They're not from the State Security Service either, they wouldn't have bothered disguising themselves." Your confusion must have shown on your face because he clarifies, "They're most likely from WISE, Westalis' intelligence agents."

The revelation leaves you horrified, he's a spy, I married a spy in order to not be suspected as a spy. You realise how ironic the situation is, an assassin and a spy posing as a married couple to hide their identities, even from each other. You school your features, trying your best to not show your emotions in front of your boss. Our marriage was probably the shield he used to secure his identity. The rage in you intensifies, to think that you have been living with a spy, you helped this man avoid suspicion, it disgusts you.

"I'm telling you this because you should be careful, we cannot guarantee what they would do if they found out The Garden is real."

Hearing this, you don't know what to do anymore. Just as you felt relived that your husband was not a criminal, you find out he's a spy. The confirmation that he's still an enemy leaves you devastated. "We still don't know why they were there, although, it is highly likely that they were there for the same reason as we were, to protect their spy." You leave work with many thoughts, confused and horrified more than ever.

When Jihoon goes to see The Handler, he doesn't get the chance to say a thing as he is ushered into a meeting with everyone from the team that went on the last mission. With everyone there, The Handler speaks, "This is about the team you encountered during the mission. Our sources confirm they're not from the Red Circus or the State Security Service."

This statement stirs confusion among all the agents, and one of Jihoon's teammates speaks up, "They can't possibly be some random group of criminals, they were far too observant and well trained for that." Everyone agrees and The Handler continues, "You're right, they're most likely from this organisation called The Garden."

Now, that has every single person in the room stunned, "Weren't they just a myth?" Somebody questions but Jihoon is too far gone to register who it is. The revelation rings in his mind as he realises he's both relieved and utterly horrified at the prospect of his wife being part of an organisation so secretive and dangerous, no one knows any details about them. On his way home, he's dazed and overwhelmed by this new knowledge of how terrifying you truly are.

Standing in front of the door to your house, you hesitate. Unlike all these days, you now know there is a spy on the other side of this door. You know he's home, you took your time returning because you couldn't face him just yet. Just the thought of it sends shivers down your spine. You don't know what to believe anymore, despite having been trained not to trust anyone in this world, you never imagined there would be a day where that person would be your sweet husband. Not so sweet anymore, you think to yourself bitterly at the thought of his cold eyes gazing into yours.

The Red Circus were originally advocating for equality but turned to terrorism after their people were killed, their main goal is to get Ostania to acknowledge their greivances and escape to safety. You were trying to reason with yourself about why your husband would be one of their members, but now? Now you know he's a spy, he was always the enemy. You remember the times everyone around you spoke about how spies are here with no other inention but to cause war. He's going to ruin the peace in this country, he's going to do the very thing I spent my life trying to avoid. You think to yourself as the anger inside you itches to stop him, Tonight, tonight I will kill him, no matter what it takes, for Anya, for Yuri, for every innocent soul in Ostania. Determined, you open the door and walk in.

The sight that greets you has you stopping in your tracks— Anya is laughing as she runs around the house playing with Bond, your dog, and Jihoon, he's watching them with an exasperated expression on his face but you can see the fondness in his eyes that he probably doesn't realise he's showing. It makes you realise that this man, this spy, no matter what his relationship is with Anya, truly cares for her. The sight that was once so normal everyday, now has you filled with emotions so intense you can't remember why you were so angry. You cannot imagine what would happen if Anya didn't have her father around anymore, just the thought of her tears makes you question if this is the only way, you don't want to be the reason for her pain. She's so much like Yuri when we were young, what would Yuri have done if I didn't return from one of my missions? I can't do that to Anya, I just can't, but what about the other kids in this country? What of the innocent people who will lose their lives in the war? Your thoughts spiral as you try to choose between saving your family and saving your country.

Jihoon sees you standing at the door and calls out to you, "Why are you just standing there?" You look at him, the way he's acting like nothing has changed, how, just for a moment, it felt like you were back to the time before this chaos. Hearing him, Anya turns to you and runs into your arms. She seems especially happy today and you cannot help but indulge her. No matter what happens, she will always be your daughter. I love this little girl, I won't let anything happen to her. You decide that you will protect her at all costs, against anyone who dares hurt her, just like you did with Yuri. You just don't know how to protect her from the pain you will inevitably end up causing her when you kill Jihoon.

Unbeknownst to you, Anya was trying her best to make everything seem normal because she wants her parents to go back to how they were. Jihoon was trying his best to keep calm, he didn't know how to deal with this situation now that he knew you weren't a criminal. You were a lot like him, trying to keep the peace within this country, in your own way. That thought made him want to try and work this out, he didn't want to endanger his team but he also wanted to keep his family safe for the sake of his mission, or so he tells himself. He hoped he could talk to you tonight. When Anya heard her father's thoughts, it made her overjoyed and she was hopeful about keeping this family intact. When she heard you think about how much you love this family too, she was over the moon and too distracted to hear you think about killing Jihoon. She goes to sleep content with the progress between you.

Facing Jihoon, you're contemplating everything again, What if he kills me instead? What will happen if we both die? Who would take care of Anya? What about Yuri? Where would Bond go? You know there is a high chance of that happening, he's very skilled, you're both pretty much equally matched. Jihoon calls your name and when you look up at him, something's different. His eyes are not cold anymore, there's that warmth you're so used to, and that confuses you to no end. Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he look like he's not angry anymore?

Jihoon sees the confusion in your eyes, he also felt your murder intent right before he called your name. He wonders, does she know I'm a spy? Does she hate me? She probably does. Why wouldn't she? She married me because she didn't want people to mistake her as a spy. If she found out she married one, she would obviously want to get rid of me. Just as he thinks that, you lunge at him, he dodges on instinct but it pains him. He can tell you know, he can see it on your face, the raw emotions that you no longer supress, much stronger than before.

He continues to dodge your attacks, deciding to let you just take your anger out on him. You continue to strike at him with your hairpin, trying to kick him, punch him, you try everything you can. You hesitated because of Anya but when you saw him looking at you like he did before all this, you lost it. It reminded you of how he lied about everything, you don't see your lovely husband anymore, you see the manipulative monster who was planning to destroy your life and many others with a war. Nothing he can say or do will ever make you forgive him, you will never be able to trust him again. Granted, you lied to him too, but you were trying to protect the very peace he chooses to ruin. You will do whatever it takes to stop this man tonight, even if you die trying.

As time passes, you realize he has no intention of attacking you, all he's doing is dodge you and you cannot begin to comprehend why. Why does it seem like he doesn't want to hurt me? It makes no sense though, there's no way he cares, not now, not after everything that has happened. His attempts at calming you down only fuel your rage further, making you charge at him harder.

When Jihoon sees that you're not going to stop, it looks like she wants to kill me tonight, no matter what, he tries to think of how he can try to get you to hear him out. As he gets distracted by that thought for a split second, you manage to land a hit on his arm, slashing his skin with your blade and blood oozes out of his bicep. Jihoon stiffens for just a second before he just lets you be, he decides that if this is what it takes for you to calm down so you both can talk, then he's just going to let you strike him.

You, on other hand, are completely frozen at the sight of him bleeding, it causes your brain to spiral into a frenzy of thoughts of him hurting because of you. You feel a sharp tinge of pain in your chest at that, you can't hurt him, even if he's a spy, even if he ends up ruining your people, you cannot bring yourself to do it. It dawns on you that you've come to care for this man so deeply that your heart twists painfully at even just the thought of him in pain. You were planning to kill him, but how can you? When you can't even bare the slight scratch you just made on his arm?

Jihoon sees you tremble, on the verge of tears, and he's confused, why are you crying suddenly? You were so full of rage and determination just a few seconds ago, what happened? It's when he follows your gaze to his wound that he realizes why, and his heart aches at the thought of you berating yourself for hurting him.

He calls your name softly, your eyes snap to his and that's when you break, your body fails you as you fall to the ground, the weight of your emotions draining everything from you. Jihoon rushes to catch you, he holds you gently as you cry, trying to make sense of what happened and how he can comfort you.

As you cry, you register that he's holding you, so gently as if you'll break if he holds you any tighter, and you start hitting his chest with no actual strength, trying to convey how unfair this is. He lets you, he understands how you must be feeling, it kills him to know that he's reason for you current state.

After a few minutes, Jihoon hears you murmur, "Why did it have to be you?" He doesn't know how to answer, he wishes so badly that you two never met, if only he could go back in time, you would never have to face this. Taking in his silence, you question him, because you need to know, "Why do you want to start a war? Why can't we just live peacefully?" The word 'war' causes Jihoon to freeze and you feel it, when you look up at him, he looks like he's confused and terrified. You don't understand why but he speaks up before you can voice your confusion, "Who told you that?"

"Huh?"

"Who told you I wanted to start a war?"

"I-I, that's, I just heard people say that spies are here for that reason alone."

He calls your name, "Look at me," and when you look at his face, "I have no intention of starting a war, the only reason I do what I do is to prevent one from ever happening."

His words shock you, "What? How is that possible?"

He looks pained at the accusation, "I would never hurt the people like that, trust me."

Trust me, those words make it more painful for you, because how can you? You convey your thoughts to him, "How can I believe anything you say when everything about you is a lie? How do I know you're not lying to me at this moment too?"

Jihoon feels stuck, he doesn't know how he can convince you that he's not lying, he gets why you cannot trust anything he says. How did our lives come to this? When he doesn't answer, you push him away, and Jihoon just watches you move away from him. "If you can't even answer that, then there's no point in trying, please stop pretending you care." You turn to go back into your room and sleep the day off because you don't have it in you to do anything else right now.

Lying in bed, you force yourself to sleep because your body is too exhausted for you to lie awake thinking about your situation. Jihoon stays awake for yet another night, it's becoming a routine at this rate, one he's not fond of. He cannot stop thinking about your question and the lack of emotion in your eyes when he couldn't answer. He wishes he did, he wishes he could, but he stayed silent because for once, he, Twilight, did not have a plan. He needs to try again tomorrow, he cannot let this affect his mission or let this situation escalate further until his team is compromised because of his carelessness, at least that's how he reasons to himself.

Next morning, you wake up late and immediately go to get Anya ready; when you both emerge in the hall, Jihoon has set the table and is waiting for you both. You continue to ignore him, placing your attention on Anya entirely. Jihoon tries to talk to you but it becomes obvious to him that you have no intention to hear him out. Seeing this, Anya gets sad but then she hears your thoughts, how both of you just want to live your lives like you have been, and decides that this is good enough.

You get to the City Hall for work as usual when you're called in for another mission. Good, I can get my mind off everything else. "This time, the target is a small town artist." You look at your superior, confused. "He's done quite a good job at pretending that's all he is for the last five years. He's one of the leading members of the association that has been trying to stir up trouble recently. It looks like they've been preparing for a long time. We need to eliminate this group before they do any more damage to our country." Hearing that, you are determined to make sure you succeed. Thankfully, this mission manages to make you forget about your situation at home for a while.

At the WISE quarters, Jihoon is being informed of his latest mission. "The target this time is this boy you see on the screen." The Handler says pointing to the photo of a man wearing a red scarf while trying to cover his face. "He's done a good job at hiding but our agents were able to find out his whereabouts as well as capture his features well. He looks like a college student but really, he's in his thirties, that is how he cleverly evaded the authorities. Your job is to ensure that this "boy" can no longer operate his circle of criminals by tomorrow. Eliminate any point of contact he may have had with any of his members. We want them to panic, they'll make it easier for us to get rid of them. Be careful though, we don't want to risk the safety of innocent citizens." Nodding his head, Jihoon plans exactly how he's going to execute this mission.

Back home, both you and Jihoon are too occupied with the thoughts of your missions looming over your heads that Anya wonders if everything is back to normal. It feels just like before but when she senses the odd tension between you, she realises it's not, not yet at least. She can tell though, it's all going to be fine, she's seen this happen in her cartoons, so she goes to sleep content that things seem to be going well.

Friday afternoon, Jihoon is disguised and heading towards what seems like an old, narrow street. He stops when he spots him, his target. It's baffling how normal he looks, like a college student on his way home for lunch. Jihoon could just take him out right now and no one would know but the words of The Handler ring in his mind, "Eliminate all points of contact, make sure his death does not trigger his group into action." I need to map his circle, and I should be able to get this done by tonight. Jihoon thinks to himself as he trails his target for the day.

Evening rolls around by the time Jihoon has his target exactly where he wants, away from prying eyes and easy to get rid of, in an old alleyway. Just as his target takes a turn around the corner, Jihoon prepares himself to attack when he finds no one upon turning. It hits him then that this mission has been sabotaged, and these people were far more terrifying than he originally imagined. Just then, he senses a presence from behind and turn just in time to block the knife lunging at him. When he looks up, he finds the same man he followed looking at him with a murderous intent so strong, it suffocates him. Immediately, the man launches into a series of attacks that Jihoon manages to defend easily while questioning how this could have happened. There's no way he sensed me trailing him, Jihoon's eyes widen when he realises that there's only one other possibility, there is someone else who has been watching him. I let my guard down, I did not think of the possibility that there could have been another person, but the fact that I did not sense them proves that they're more skilled than we anticipated. As he berates himself for not discovering this sooner, Jihoon tries to locate the person who's helping this man in front of him. It's at that moment when Jihoon hears a shot fired and he instinctively ducks, dodging the bullet meant for him by a narrow shot. The shooter must have thought they could take him out while he was distracted with the attacks he was dealing with, Jihoon smirks to himself, how unfortunate for them, now I know where they are. Having had enough with the man's petty attacks, Jihoon swiftly knocks him out and runs into the building beside him, using the unconcious man as his shield.

Once inside, Jihoon refocuses, his mission was to eliminate this man and his circle, how convenient that the man's teammate decided to make it easier for him by showing up. Jihoon quickly disposes the man's body along with his disguise and moves to locate his partner. He identified that the shooter was seated at the rooftop of the building right opposite to the one he's currently in. Of course, he must have moved after realising he was caught, Jihoon commends them for trying but it's far too easy for him to recognise the pattern. As he rushes to get to the corner of the building where he assumes the shooter is, Jihoon stops in his tracks when he hears commotion nearby. Nobody else should be here at this time, unless, it's more of their teammates. Jihoon cannot tell if it's good or bad that he managed to encounter so many of the group at once. Deciding to deal with them later, he moves towards the shooter when he sees something flash by from the back of his eye. It stuns him in place, a blade, your blade, to be specific.

What the hell are you doing here? Jihoon realises that it really is you when he sees the shine of your blade again. He got so caught up in his thoughts that the shooter has moved again, and this time, when Jihoon sees the pattern again, he's horrified, because the shooter is moving to a position to shoot you. Jihoon cannot get there in time to stop the shooter, so he turns and runs towards where you are. It's his mission to get rid of this group but at that moment, all he can think of is you, the thought of you getting hurt is unbearable and he sprints just in time to see you finishing up with your target.

You had just eliminated your target when you see Jihoon running towards you like a madman, his sudden appearance leaves you still as you question why he's here. Why does he look like he just saw a ghost? Why is he running like that? As you stand there wondering, you both hear it, the gunshot. It hits you too late that the bullet was aimed at you, you brace yourself for the impact when you feel something push you aside and into the corner where the shooter could no longer aim. Frozen from the impact, it takes you a few seconds to process what just happened and when you look up, you find yourself in Jihoon's arms as he looks like he's also trying to compose himself after the entire fiasco. He saved me, he ran like that and pushed me aside to save me, but why? You look at him in disbelief, unable to comprehend the situation for it all happened too quickly.

Jihoon feels like his heart is going to explode, it was pumping so loud when he was running to get to you in time and it stopped for a second when he thought he was too late, and now, it's racing again but with relief, relief that you're alive. He scans your form to see if you're okay when he spots blood and panics; the bullet had managed to scrape your arm, "You're hurt", he says as he finally sees the look on your face. He can see that you're confused and shocked, but the haze behind your eyes worries him. He calls your name, "Look at me, please."

While trying to understand what happened, you feel your head spin, but when you hear his desperate plea, you look up at him, trying to let him know that you're okay. You can feel the symptoms, the bullet was laced with toxins, probably to make the person weak and take longer to recover. You convey this to Jihoon, "I'll be fine, it was just a graze, I just feel a little dizzy, it's not going to do anything to me." Even as you assure him, you cannot stop thinking of why he saved you or why he is so concerned at this moment, even if he didn't want to kill me himself, there was no need for him to save me, more so by running like that, and so desperately.

Jihoon, not so convinced by your words, opens his mouth to argue when you both sense it, someone is coming. Right, the shooter is still out there, but wait, there's no way they would make a move like this, so direct. It hits Jihoon that this is someone else, shit, there are more of them. Why now? While he's thankful he gets to eliminate this group at once, the situation is different now, you're injured and he cannot focus with you like this.

You can see Jihoon's train of thoughts on his face, how have I never realised he wears his emotions so obviously? Or maybe it is just because he's distracted right now. "Focus, Jihoon." Hearing your words, his eyes sharpen, and the Twilight everyone heard about was back. Without another sound, he moves you towards the small alley nearby, "Don't move, please just stay safe." You're about to retort that you can take care of yourself just fine when your head spins again, reminding you of your current state. When you stay silent, Jihoon takes it as you agreeing with him and turns to go deal with these criminals.

You watch as he puts on another mask and walks into the building, hidden from your place where no one can see you. You see Jihoon swiftly deal with the man who was trying to sneak up on the two of you earlier. Even thought you knew he was a spy, watching him in action makes it all surreal, he is scarily calm and unnervingly smart. His cunningness showing when he tricks one of the other men into leaving his safe position by pretending to be his teammate. A shiver runs down your spine, this is the man you've been married to for a year, the man you've been living with, this man who is eliminating a group of armed men with an ease that only comes with experience, the same man who looked rattled at the thought of you bleeding from a graze. Your heart is filled with mixed emotions as you realise this is far more complicated than it should be.

Just then, you spot the shooter again, only this time, you see another one, opposite to where the one who shot you is positioned. Jihoon knows about only one of them, this second one has just arrived from the looks of it and the thought terrifies you, Jihoon does not know. He doesn't know there's another shooter, he's dealing with multiple criminals— he's vulnerable, you can't even scream for him to hear you because he's too far. Desperate and full of adrenaline, you run towards him when you see this shooter aim. There are no other thoughts in your mind except saving Jihoon as you sprint with all your might and this brings everyone's attention to you.

You cannot reach him fast enough due to the toxins slowing your body so you scream, "There's another shooter to the far left on the opposite side, run!" Just as you finish your sentence, it all explodes, bullets start raining from both sides with the targets being you and Jihoon. Thanks to your warning, Jihoon manages to avoid them and runs into the next street while you hide in the building nearby. With the two of you now separated, Jihoon curses himself for not being able to protect you. You left your safe position to warn him because he did not see the other shooter, it was because of him. You put yourself in danger for him. He cannot just stand there and keep pretending to be okay when he knows you clearly aren't.

He feels his rage grow, towards himself for missing so many signs, at you for putting yourself in danger when you were already injured and at these idiots for trying to hurt you, he moves with more aggression this time, and puts everyone who's in his way down as he searches for you desperately. One of them lunges at him with a knife, stupid, Jihoon thinks to himself, he can see the gun attached at the man's waist, he should have used that instead, oh well, let me teach you before you die. Jihoon blocks the man's pathetic attempt at stabbing him and twists the knife out his opponent's hand, breaking the man's wrist in the process. Jihoon kicks him in the stomach and pulls out the gun he saw earlier and shoots the man in the forehead. He proceeds to use that body as his shield from the shooters while using the gun he acquired to take the others out.

On the other side, you feel your body sway but still better than before and decide to look for Jihoon. You're about to step out of the building when you hear a menacing laugh and you turn around to see a woman looking at you like you're stupid to even try. "Well, well, well, what a damsel in distress we have here. What do you think you can do out there, hm? Oh, is that man your partner?" When you don't reply, she continues, "Or is he your lover? You did run to save him, hm, how stupid. Do you really think you both can leave this place alive? That dumb lanky man is probably already dead by now. Didn't you hear the rain of bullets and screams?" Hearing those words, you glare at her and she smirks, "That hit a nerve, huh? Interesting, but oh well, unfortunately for you, you'll never see your man again, you'll die here now." She snickers, "You both will die here in our hands, maybe you'll see each other in the after life. How romantic, isn't it?" As she finishes, she aims her pistol at you, ready to shoot when a blade hits her palm that is holding the gun and a loud scream echoes in the walls of this abandoned building. She was so busy mocking you that she didn't see you taking your blade out to strike her. Watching her crumble to her knees holding her bleeding palm, it's your turn to walk to her as you speak, "The number one rule when fighting is to never, and I mean never, take your eyes off the opponent. Overconfidence like yours will get you killed within seconds, like now." You end your sentence as you slit her throat with your blade. Blood splatters all over the floor as you turn, determined to bury these criminals underground.

Stepping out, you're immediately attacked by two more people, one lunging at you with with his bare fists while the other was holding a knife. Having anticipated this, you swiftly slide across them in a narrow second making them hit each other instead. Without giving them a chance to recover, you take your blades and slash their throats in one go. This has gotten a lot more bloody than I was expecting, you look at the blood splashed everywhere from all the bloodshed, cleaning up is going to be quite tedious, you sigh, moving onto the next enemy who's charging at you from behind.

Jihoon, on the opposite side of the building you took shelter in, is barging his way through the hoard of bullets by shielding himself with the same man's body when a certain thought makes his blood go cold, why and how are so many of them here? It's like a planned ambush with the way they're positioned, his senses sharpen when he realises there's only one possibility, there's a mole, either from your side or mine. He moves faster, determined to get to you, he refuses to think of the possibility that you're dead, no, she's strong, she can handle these pests, but wait, she's poisoned, a groan resonates from his throat, she'll be okay, she has to be. He keeps repeating those words in his mind as he fight off more of these pests.

You have moved further enough to be in the shooters' line of sight again and this time, you're prepared—you turn to their positions and glare, challenging them to try. Knowing that you've just hurt their egos, you sprint down the alley to get to those shooters, skillfully avoiding their rage of bullets. You step inside the building they're in and look around to see what looks like an old warehouse. You can sense that there are about five of them around, waiting like hyenas for you to step into their trap. They don't seem to realise that you can sense them, I was so distracted that I didn't even sense these people when I first got here, no wonder they have such confidence, well, good for me. You decide to play into their game, let them think they have the upper hand and that you don't know they're waiting, it's going to be easier to deal with them one by one anyway.

Unbeknownst to you, Jihoon has also entered the same warehouse from the other side, there's no one around, but that makes no sense, there's no way they wouldn't have stationed people to protect the shooters. After thoroughly checking and confirming that there really is no one, Jihoon strides towards the stairs to head up to his targets. He hears footsteps rushing down the stairs like they're in a hurry, confused but alert nonetheless, Jihoon takes a defensive position before deeming it better to attack first instead. He waits for the first person to come down before tackling them down with his arm, he swiftly gets rid of them one by one before making his upwards.

Reaching the rooftop, Jihoon can sense the ominous atmosphere—the fact that they have remained here waiting for me proves that they're good with close combat and prepared for it. Taking his own gun out this time, he moves carefully, trying to locate his enemies. He makes eye contact with one of them and in the next moment, bullets fly all over the place while he engages in a battle with the woman. She cannot land a single hit on Jihoon but he's just as frustrated since he hasn't been able to take her down either. Jihoon and the shooter both run out of ammunition and the place is eerily silent when Jihoon remembers that the other shooter hasn't made their presence known but is still very much present. Alert and momentarily unarmed, Jihoon loads his gun quickly while continuously looking over his shoulder for any attacks.

Just as he turns to continue the fight, he hears footsteps, it is you, he can tell from the corner of his eye that your blade is targeting the other shooter, who is now busy trying to fend you off. Relieved that you're okay but horrified that you're fighting a man with a gun with just your blades, Jihoon refocuses on defeating this shooter first so he can get to you in time. He just hopes you don't get hurt until then. Thankfully, the woman he was fighting was distracted with reloading her own gun to attack him while he was distracted by your sudden appearance. She launches into her previous position, determined to shoot him this time but Jihoon had figured out her pattern by now—she moves quick, he'll give her that but the pattern is too obvious to his trained eye, he can tell exactly which position she'll take next and that is enough for him to land a shot straight to her heart, leaving her bleeding to death.

Jihoon confirms her death before whipping around to see you slicing throught the man's chest and he watches as the shooter falls to the ground clutching his bleeding chest before his breath stops. For a moment, there's nothing but silence as you both take in the fact that it's over, and when your eyes meet, it's like your feet have their own mind—Jihoon's legs move of their accord as he rushes towards while and you do the same. You crash into Jihoon's chest as he holds you like he never wishes to let go. You just stay like that for a few moments before moving just enough to look at his face. Jihoon brings his hand up to your face, holding you so gently and the look on his face so fond, "Thank goodness, you're safe." He leans forward until your foreheads touch and it is in that moment that you feel it, he never lied about caring, he always did. The next second, the words are flying out of your mouth before you even realise what you're saying, "I trust you, Jihoon." Jihoon freezes, looking up at you with wide eyes as if he cannot believe what you just said. Realising how abrupt that was, you're about to explain when Jihoon responds, "Thank you for trusting me," he calls your name making you look into his eyes, "I'll explain everything to you, I promise, I don't want to hide from you anymore." Hearing his words, you nod, "I don't wish to hide from you either."

The sound of a dog barking brings you both back to your senses, realising where you are, you look around at the bloody scene before making eye contact and you both shake you heads as a small smile takes up your faces. Despite the circumstances, at least you both now know that things are going to be okay, that you can work this out together.

After ensuring that you eliminated all the members of the group, you and Jihoon split up to go report the unforeseen massacre that occurred. With both of you choosing to conceal the fact that you met on the field, you inform your organisation about the entire incident, mentioning that there was someone else but they were also there for the same mission and were skilled enough to escape from you—of course, Jihoon matches you word to word when reporting to The Handler.

You reach home earlier than Jihoon, seeing Anya already asleep because you were late. Did she even eat anything for dinner? You worry before you spot a sticky note with Jihoon's writing, "I might be late tonight so I made some dinner and put it in the fridge, heat it up and eat it if I'm not home on time." That brings a smile to your face, he's always so attentive, you open the fridge to see that Anya has eaten her portion and you hear your stomach protest with hunger. You heat up a plate of food for yourself and sit down at the dining table, as you take a bite, tiredness finally hits your body. You continue to eat while thinking over everything that happened today, and just as you start to feel concerned about why Jihoon is not back yet, the door opens and he's home.

Jihoon opens the door to find you looking up at him in the middle of taking a bite of the casserole he made this morning and the sight has him so endeared that he automatically smiles, relaxing, because this is home. You startle at the sudden smile, he looked so unbelievably fond at that moment that you choke on the food in your mouth. Seeing you cough violently, Jihoon rushes to get you a glass of water, "Here, slow down, please be careful." Embarrassed, your entire face turns red as you chug down the glass of water he gave you. Jihoon just chuckles, finding you utterly adorable.

Setting your glass down, you tell him, "I heat up some for you too, it's in the microwave." Thanking you, Jihoon gets his own dinner and sits down across you as you both eat in comfortable silence. It's funny how so much has changed in just a few hours—here you are, sitting face to face and eating so peacefully when this morning, neither of you could look at each other properly because of the tension between you.

After putting your dishes away, you and Jihoon settle on the sofa with one thought, we need to talk. "Let me start first, I want to clear the misunderstanding you have regarding spies." Jihoon says, looking at you for permission to tell you his side of things. When you nod, Jihoon smiles and continues, "I know what people say and I know that the government makes it seem like we're here to start a war but trust me when I say this, we are not. The last thing I want is a war, I lost my family to one when I was a child and I do what I do to ensure nobody else has to go through that." That sentence breaks your heart, making you feel guilty for accusing him of the very thing that caused him so much pain. "I was young, I was out playing with friends when it happened, both my parents were killed and I had nowhere to go. I became a soldier to survive and years later I met with the friends I thought I lost that day, only for them to be sent on a mission and die in war too. I decided then that I was going to stop this, I have to do whatever it takes to keep this peace because I don't want any more innocent people to die in the aftermath of political issues."

He pauses when he sees your expression and slowly reaches his hand out towards your cheek, it's only after he wipes the tear off your cheek that you realise you were crying. Hearing him talk about his past and his reasons made you think of your own, how all you ever wanted was to protect your family and the thought brought you to tears without realising. "I'm sorry," you hear him say and look up in confusion, because why is he apologising? "I'm sorry I deceived you, I'm sorry you had to find out like that and I'm sorry you suffered so much because of me." God, if he keeps saying things like that, you're only going to feel even more guilty. "It's not your fault, and besides, I deceived you too." Hearing that, something in Jihoon softens, and he just rubs the back of your hand in comfort.

"It's my turn to explain things, I was young when I started this line of work too, it was just Yuri and me so I had to make money to survive. The reason I took up this job and continue to do it is because I want to keep my brother safe, I want him happy and living a comfortable life. I've been doing my best to keep this peaceful life we've built so I hate it when I see someone who wants to destroy that. It's why I was so angry when I thought that you were one of those people." Jihoon understands everything now, the rage in you that wouldn't subside, the despair he saw in your eyes the night he tried to talk to you, it all makes sense now, and his heart aches for you.

"That day, at the airport, why were you there?" When he hears your question, he looks into your eyes so you can see that he's being sincere, "I was there to protect Maya. You were there for the same reason, weren't you?" You nod in answer, relieved that your assumptions were true. "To think I assumed you were part of Red Circus, I hated you at the time. I hated you for being a criminal, I hated you for wanting to cause harm to citizens and I hated that it was you." Your words hit him like a knife to the heart but he knows it cannot be helped, after all, he thought the same. "I thought the same, although I could not figure out why in the world you would be part of something like that." This time, you look at Jihoon with earnestly, "I don't anymore though, hate you, I mean." You can see the man physically melt at your words and it's so endearing.

"I never hated you, I could never, even when I thought you were a criminal, it's like my heart could not bear the thought of hating you, I was just angry at myself. I'm not telling you this because I blame you but because I want you to know that you have occupied so much of my life that I just cannot think straight. So please, don't blame yourself for feeling what you did, I would have hated me too if I were in your place. You married me because you didn't want people to think of you as a spy, so I cannot imagine how you felt when you found out I was one." Tears stream down your face as you take in what he said, even now, he's worried about how I feel. Jihoon stills when you suddenly wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He can feel your tears drenching his shirt and he just holds you, rubbing your back and patting your head, trying his best to comfort you.

After what feels like an hour, you move away enough to look at him, "So, what now? How do we proceed from here?" Jihoon's eyes suddenly widen and it scares you, "What's wrong?" He remembers now, The Garden, how are you going to deal with them? "How long did your organisation give you to get rid of me? When do you think they'll send other people to do it instead? Wait, would they come after you too if you don't do it?" Seeing him ramble, you interrupt him, "I didn't tell them." It's as if the world stopped the moment you uttered those words, Jihoon turns to you slowly, "What did you say?"

"I said, I didn't tell them."

"What? Why?"

"I couldn't bring myself to."

He knows what that means, he knows what you felt and that is enough to render him speechless.

"What about your people though? Won't they take action too?"

He hears you ask him, "I didn't tell them either."

You look at him surprised and before you can ask him why, he says, "I couldn't bring myself to either."

There's complete silence for a couple of seconds before you both chuckle, "I guess we were both worried for nothing." You shake your head, "So what? Do we just continue our lives like before? Keeping our identities secret?"

Jihoon shrugs, "Well, it's not going to be the same since we know what we do now and I think you too figured out that there'e a mole, but we can try. If you want to, of course."

You smile, "Yeah, I want to, I want to care for you and I want you to care for me."

You remember the last time you fought, "You know, in between, I was so terrified for Anya, I questioned myself if killing you was the only choice because I didn't want to cause her the pain of losing her father. When I think about it now though, I think that was just an excuse, I mean yes, I didn't want to do that to her but I also couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I just didn't want to admit that to myself at that point. I also questioned how she ended up in your care, but then I got home that day to see you looking at her so adoringly that I could tell you cared and that was enough for me."

"You have no idea how grateful I am that you gave me a chance, thank you for trusting me." Jihoon says with a wide smile on his face.

"And thank you for caring and staying." You reply with the same lovesick smile on your own face.

"It's not going to be easy though, if we end up crossing paths like this often, it will get harder to keep this from our teams." You're right, Jihoon gets serious again listening to your concerns.

"It certainly won't but we now that we know, at least we won't be caught off guard." His reasoning makes sense, and it calms you a little.

He calls your name, "I care for you, I want to stay by your side, and I love you. I think I have loved you for a while now, I just didn't realise it until those feelings were put to test like this. These past few days have been hell for me, I don't think I can see you go through such pain ever again so I'll try my best to protect our family. I need you to know this, not because I want you to love me too but because I want you to know that I will always be here, always."

You feel your heart race at his confession, never would you have imagined Jihoon to say something so profoundly emotional and yet, here you are. You think back to all the times you had the chance to end this, to leave him but you didn't, because I couldn't. Your life has always been chaos, you only ever had Yuri and although you love your brother to bits, you never realised how lonely you had been until Jihoon and Anya came into your life. You life is still chaos but there's something special to it now, your adorable daughter brings mischief and adoring husband brings calm that you will never let anyone take from you.

So, when you see Jihoon looking at your intertwined hands and shaking, you know that you love this man as much as he does you. "Jihoon, look at me," his head snaps up so quick you crack a small smile, "You're a fool, a naively annoying fool if you think, for even a second, that I'm not hopelessly in love with you too." Jihoon's eyes water and you squeeze his hand as if to say that you're right there. "I lived a life revolving around my job and when my brother grew up, I would come home to feeling empty because I had nothing to do. Now, I look forward to coming home to you cooking and Anya running around the living room because something that simple brings me immense joy that I cannot even begin to describe. The reason why I felt so betrayed and hurt was because I was already in too deep, you're my family and nothing will change that."

You just barely finished your sentence when you feel Jihoon's hand come up to the back of your head as he crashes his lips onto yours. You can feel the weight of his emotions as he kisses you so deeply yet holds you so gently as if afraid he would hurt you otherwise. You still for a moment before reciprocating his passion as you kiss him back, no longer holding back. You break apart, panting for air as you slowly open your eyes to find Jihoon already looking at you. "I love you." You lean in to gently kiss him, "I love you more."

"Anya loves Mama and Papa." You both startle as you see Anya standing at the door of her bedroom and smiling at you, you were so absorbed in your emotions that neither of you heard her come out. You squeak as you break away from Jihoon, feeling embarrassed that your daughter just saw you kissing and see from the corner of your eye that Jihoon has turned red too. "Anya, why are you up? You should be sleeping." Although he tries to sound stern, his voice gives him away and Anya starts laughing as she runs into your arms. "Anya is so happy that mama and papa are happy."

You're overwhelmed again and when you look at Jihoon, you know he feels the same. Anya jumps up on the couch when she suddenly glares at Jihoon. You see him panic, it's so obvious on his face, "Why is papa not hugging us?" He softens and comes to wrap his arms around both of you as you stay cuddling together until your daughter falls back asleep.

When you hear Anya snoring, Jihoon carefully takes her into his arms and tucks her into bed. You watch him as you think to yourself, he's always been Anya's safe space and he's become mine too, remembering the time you broke down in his arms even when you thought he was the enemy. It wasn't because you were exhausted or let your guard down but because you find sense in his presence. This man, your husband, is the partner you never knew you needed but are grateful to this universe to have brought him to you.

Jihoon turns around to see you staring at him with blatant adoration and something about the way you don't hold back anymore makes him weak in the knees. He walks to you, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Seeing you tuck our daughter to sleep just makes me feel so soft and warm, I couldn't help it."

Jihoon stutters for a second before he smiles at you teasingly, "Do you want me to tuck you in too?"

He watches your eyes go wide as you blush and he thinks to himself that you look absolutely breathtaking right now. He tells you as much, "I need to see you like this more often."

Your eyes narrow as you glare at him though he just finds your sulking adorable, he can see you pouting and it makes him chuckle. You cannot possibly let him have all the fun, "You'll need to try harder for that. How about starting with tucking me in like you suggested? Or even better, lay with me and hold me like you did earlier." You don't know what made you feel so bold but the way Jihoon blushes makes it all worth it.

You were joking when you asked him to hold you to sleep but you did not realise how whipped your husband is for you. Jihoon would do anything for you, and so you lay in his arms as he hums softly, content and warm. Sleep hits you slowly as you both fall asleep with the same thought in your heads, We're family, we always will be, and we'll do whatever it takes to protect our home, starting with getting rid of that mole.

[paradiseonthemoon]

wtf. what the ACTUAL FUCK HELLO. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?! FELLOW NEOS HELLO HELLO HELLO

[paradiseonthemoon]

this birthday blows:/ i don’t even want to be 20 anymore thank u next

[mrkified]

empty promises — 15. WE’RE SOOOOO BACK

— all your friends told you that lee jeno wasn’t worth it, but you didn’t listen nor care. to you he was more than the ‘empty promises’ that your friends seemed to think he gave you.

prev | masterlist | next

tags: @82sim @dinonuguaegi @n0hyuck @jenohyun @dreaminabtrj @jirsungs @yutarot @222brainrot @urlocalbeaner5 @dudekiss3r @hizhu @dollhara @onlyhyunjin @snoopyjimin @luvandletter @nosungluv @nctrawberries @sanniekook @cherryxvalentine @gomdoleemyson @fae-renjun @polarisjisung @fakeuwus @vampgege @blondiedae @toroufriteh @jae-n0 @ppeachyttae @kukkurookkoo @saranghoeforanton @m8rkers @nebularsung @dilflover44 @firydst @hsified @calssunflower @akirawhore @notmastyle @nattan127 @hi00000234567 @lovekm @aphantassia @sung-ct (if u changed ur user pls lmk so i can update my list!)

a/n: when i’m finally done with angsty jeno my days will shine brighter

[mrkified]

empty promises — 14. (jeno pov) so did they look cozy..?

— all your friends told you that lee jeno wasn’t worth it, but you didn’t listen nor care. to you he was more than the ‘empty promises’ that your friends seemed to think he gave you.

prev | masterlist | next

tags @82sim @dinonuguaegi @n0hyuck @jenohyun @dreaminabtrj @jirsungs @yutarot @222brainrot @urlocalbeaner5 @dudekiss3r @hizhu @dollhara @onlyhyunjin @snoopyjimin @luvandletter @nosungluv @nctrawberries @sanniekook @cherryxvalentine @gomdoleemyson @fae-renjun @polarisjisung @fakeuwus @vampgege @blondiedae @toroufriteh @jae-n0 @ppeachyttae @kukkurookkoo @saranghoeforanton @m8rkers @nebularsung @dilflover44 @firydst @hsified @calssunflower @akirawhore @notmastyle @nattan127 @hi00000234567 @lovekm

a/n waiting on redemption arc from billy badass over here (sorry if the last part like is bad lowk couldnt think of a way to finish it)

[paradiseonthemoon]

Hbd 2 me 😉

[paradiseonthemoon]

bruh. fuck verizon, fuck my job, fuck my essay, fuck my life toooo like damn and fuck my laser cause my hairs still growing dtrong dafuq i can’t

[pomegranate-teardrop]

chaste, one

warnings: reader has an attitude problem, lots of cussing (wrote this on my period and you can tell lol), this is really short like 1k short, not beta’d 😬

blockbusters collab

the urge to rewrite this burns within my soul. will i? won’t i? i’m sleepy :/

"WHO?"

joshua blinks. "dokyeom. the one who was in that big rom-com a few years back? was it…? there's no way you don't know him."

"forget the romance, that's asian john wick. how the fuck did y'all get him for this shitshow?"

you shove vernon's arm from where he's slung it over your shoulders and turn back to josh with narrowed eyes

"we didn't get him yet. he's considering the script, wants to meet his co-star before moving forward."

"his co-star?" annoyance seethes out of you like pollutants out a car exhaust. "this is my show. i'm not at anyone's beck and call, he can forget it."

the wrinkle in josh's brow makes its long-awaited appearance. "it's the network's show and the network wants dokyeom."

"fuck that."

"you're all fucked up cuz he's gonna steal your scenes."

"vernon, shut your fucking mouth before i get the goddamn stapler."

"yo," he lifts his hands but keeps that shit-eating grin. "i just call it like i see it."

"you're gonna see the joker in your mirror, you keep talking like that." though you can't hide your huff of amusement. vernon might be an ass but he knows how to liven up a set. josh, on the other hand? fucking downer, and always got shit news on top of it

"so, the plane to new york?"

"josh, i'm not getting on a flight to meet some conceited dumbass just because the network wants to derail season three. fuck that, fuck you."

he looks to vernon, who shrugs and saunters off. "i'm literally begging you."

"doing a shit job."

"what do you want?"

you scoff

"please. i know you've got to keep up your reputation of being difficult— no, no, let me finish. i know you've got that to worry about but please, i might actually lose my job this time. i don't babysit you for fun, you know that? i've got hannie and the kids and… you've seen how expensive eggs are lately?"

"jesus. it's the same sob story every time."

"the preschool bills…" his eyes glass over, threatening to break. "they're so high…"

"you should've been an actor."

a single tear balances ever so perfectly on his waterline

"fine."

"perfect, so i'll go ahead and book your usual suite at the waldorf. any requests for the concierge?" joshua asks, standing there smiling like the manipulative bastard he is

fuck new york

fifteen minutes standing outside of a tiny bakery, you finally get in only to be crushed by a bunch of assholes fogging up the place. literally. you can draw on the windows

but the concierge had a point: soft buttermilk donuts, clementine roasted into a flaky cheese danish, then chase that sugar with the smoothest espresso this side of the atlantic…

you can't hate new york. the big city was little you's dream, and it's moments like this that remind you of what was once snatched away. this shitty cafe could've been your shitty cafe, and it stings that you'll only ever know it as a tourist

DK took everything. every role, every screen, every silly little ideal that ever rattled around your child brain, he stole it all as his own

and now this is his city

and you're here to kiss ass and suck dick because the network that should've been satisfied with you, they want him too

fuck new york

you pack up what's left of your breakfast to wander aimlessly before dragging yourself to the second most humiliating event of your adult life. maybe you can get a cig in. or two

a pat to your pocket has the box jumping to freedom. "fucking hell."

"you still smoke menthols. pall mall."

his eyes beckon yours with that same infuriating intensity captured and projected up all over times square

"what are you doing?" you will dokyeom to disappear

"oh, here? this is a great bakery, i come all the time. want a coffee? a honey bun?"

you want to punch his stupid smiley face

"i'm good."

snatching your cigarettes out of his hand — because of course he picked them up instead of minding his own business — you turn on your heel, back towards the station. nowhere in this city is safe, with the tentative exception of your suite. you'll hole up there for the next forty-eight hours and then it's straight back to atlanta where you belong

"i was really surprised when seungcheol called. thought y'all would've filled the role already."

fuckass chairman choi

"get away from me. i'm not in the mood."

"i thought we were walking together?"

"what in the hell—" you suck in a breath, try to remember your anger management. "what gave you that idea?"

"i don't know, maybe just wishful thinking?"

"seems like it."

"well, i just wrapped up smear so i was looking for a new project. and i like your show. thought i'd try my hand at tv acting again but in a bigger role."

you sniff. "i didn't see smear."

his eyes crinkle into half moons when he laughs, like he's actually amused. "you're fine, it was just a couple episodes before i got killed off anyway."

"damn. i would've liked to watch you die."

dokyeom leans back into a full-on guffaw, clapping his hands together loud enough to scare a pigeon. "and here i thought you didn't miss me!"

blockbusters collab masterlist

if you want something to satisfy your palette, go check out these amazing works. i’m gonna figure my shit out, i promise

yaya

[livmarauder]

546 DAYS | k.sy (part one)

WHEN IDOL KWON SOONYOUNG finds himself at rock bottom after getting slammed for multiple crimes he didn't commit and a scandal that sets his career aflame, becoming your rookie was the last place anyone expected him to be. Under your own fire of having so many rookies wash out under your watch, you have no choice but to decide if he's worth the risk or if its your personal mission to get him to quit.

PAIRING: rookie!soonyoung x training officer!fem!reader GENRE: Enemies to Lovers (Slightly One Sided), Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Grumpy x Sunshine, Opposites Attract, Forced Proximity, Mutual Pining (Eventually), Workplace Romance (Co-Workers) AU: Rookie AU TOTAL PT 1 WC: 44.5k PART ONE WARNINGS: mentions of blood and gore, mentions of violence including (but not limited to) fighting and punches, mentions of murders, topics on kidnapping, mentions of weapons such as snipers, pistols and shotguns, mentions of death of side characters, mentions of dead bodies, mentions of anxiety, breakdowns, insecurities and ptsd, mentions of drug use/ being drugged, misogynistic comments (from oc side characters - criminals and sometimes from internal affairs), a lot of mean comments (from reader to soonyoung), a lot of swearing PLAYLIST: when shit hits the fan - a playlist for soonyoung

LIV'S NOTES... note one: hello! this is part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab hosted by @belovedgyu, @jakedustry and @nerdycheol! this is the longest fic that i've written so far! but i am pleased to bring you guys rookie soonyoung! thank you to everyone for the amazing support on the teaser! means the world to me <3 so i really hope that you all enjoy this monster that was written for the better part of two months hehe! <3

note two: ofc! as per usual, we need our block of thanks! firstly a big thank you to luna, izzy and rae for creating this collab where i got to meet so many amazing writers and make friends that will last lifetimes <3 you three are amazing and you help us out a lot more than you think you do so thank you <3 thank you to my army of beta-readers @jakedustry @luvrung @cherrymayz @gentleisa for being the first to read about rookie soonyoung and provide feedback for my many grammar mistakes as i was pulling 2-3 hour sprints with some of you hehe <3. thank you to may, ale, ami, @mellowgyu, @chogiwaw, @hopecutie for being the best sprint buddies and for seeing me crash out over rookie soonyoung and nova. thank you to @paradiseonthemoon for the nickname Nova. and ofc my other lovely writers in the collab who have supported since day one and make me laugh, @caratchronicles, @choco-scoups @pomegranate-teardrop @cxffecoupx @onionhassayyo you all mean the world to me and i'm so excited that our works are being published for the world to see <3

note three: without further ado, now showing: 546 days! i hope you enjoy <3

PART TWO (Coming Soon)

Check out the other amazing shows! -> BLOCKBUSTER MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST | NAVI

Predictable. If you had to use one word to describe your mornings, that would be it. In a job full of the unpredictable, you took solace in your morning routines that never strayed far from the beaten road. It was so predictable that Mingyu, Minghao and Seokmin could even tell what you were doing from the get go, no matter what time it was before you step into work.

5am - Wake Up and Get Ready 5:30am - Morning Run 6:30am - Home and Shower 7am - Breakfast & Smoothie Prep 7:30am - Leave for the Station 8am - Reach the Station 8:30am - Roll Call

Which is why at exactly 7am, you exit your bedroom, fresh as a daisy to find Minghao already at the stove, preparing breakfast and humming to himself as the smell of bacon fill your nose.

"Morning." He greets, not sparing a glance at you as he continues to move around the kitchen, with the bacon still sizzling on the pan. You make your way around the kitchen island, giving his arm a quick squeeze in greeting.

"Morning, Hao." You glance curiously into the bowl, wondering what he was mixing. A small grin appears on your lips as you realize what the mixture is. "Pancakes? Are we feeding a whole school here, big brother?"

Minghao rolls his eyes, letting out a soft scoff as he pushes you away from the bowl. "I figured, since it's rookie day that we will need the extra little bit of energy to keep us from loosing our minds today." He raises an eyebrow. "But if you don't want to eat it, I guess I could just pack the rest for Seokmin and Mingyu. Your eyes widen as you let out a flabbergasted gasp before whacking his shoulder, making him yelp a little in response. "You wouldn't! I'm your sister!"

"Step-sister." Minghao corrects a little pointedly, rubbing the spot where you hit him as you roll your eyes in response.

"to-May-to, to-Mah-to." You quip back, emphasizing on the different syllables. Minghao roll his eyes, biting back a smile as he shoos you away from the stove. You walk around him towards the fridge, pulling out ingredients for your morning smoothie.

"Besides," Minghao starts softly, clearing his throat as you glance over at him, "I thought we could also have these like when we were kids." He continues to stir the bowl, chewing his bottom lip. "Bacon pancakes were definitely the best way to start the school term."

Minghao and you have been half-siblings since you were 6 years old, your mother having met his father in the most cliche way possible by accidentally spilling coffee on him at the coffee shop down the road from your house. Your mother, being the people pleaser she was, immediately offered him one of your fathers old shirts from the closet as he laughed at her and told her that it was okay. They then got to talking and bonded over their shared grievances before eventually giving this new relationship a shot. When their relationship started getting more serious, it was time for the 'Meet the Kids' Session, where your mother brought you to Minghao's house to meet him and his dad for the first time.

You remember being in that little pink dress your mother had forced you into, and staring at the boy who looked like he was contemplating slamming the door in your faces as soon as he saw the two of you behind it. Thankfully, he didn't and just stared at you even after his father ushered you and your mother into the house. You shuffled awkwardly under his gaze as he continued to quietly stare at you, almost as if he was analyzing you.

"Honey," your mother started, pushing you a little towards the boy, "This is Minghao." His father repeated the same process, speaking your name softly as you stood right in front of the older boy. His eyes flitted around your face before staring you dead in the eye and opened his mouth as you braced for whatever mean words he wanted to say.

"Would you like to see my seashell collection?" You blink once. Twice. Three Times. "Seashells?"

Minghao gave one firm nod before your eyes comically widened as you nodded your head excitedly. Just like that, his face lit up and he gave you a toothy grin before grabbing your hand and leading you to his room. Where he showed you his really cute and pretty seashell collection.

Fast forward to a marriage and 20 or so years later, here you were, sharing a four room apartment with your step-brother; who still had the same seashell collection in his room which was getting bigger with every trip you two had taken together.

You blink at the older man, warmth filling your chest as you smile a little, remembering the fond memories. "I love that." You answer softly, closing the fridge door. "Maybe that should be our new tradition for every rookie day now."

Minghao simply hums, a small grin on his face as you pull out a chopping board from the cupboard. "Want one?" You ask, sparing him a glance as you lay out all the ingredients in-front of you.

"Sure."

The two of you work your way around the kitchen, seamlessly moving out of each others way and getting everything done before both of you settle across from each other.Plates stacked with bacon and pancakes, as well as the smoothie that you made with whatever you could find in the fridge. The two of you eat in silence, chatting momentarily here and there about anything and everything, a simple "Let's go grocery shopping this weekend", or "Should we go out with Gyu and Seok this weekend?"

Your morning ends with Minghao going to take a shower while you pour the leftover smoothies into to-go cups for him and yourself. Clearing the dishes, you smile to yourself as the soap bubbles coat your arms. These are definitely what mornings are suppose to look like. Predictable. Structured. Unsurprising. After a morning like this, what could possibly go wrong?

The quiet moment before roll call is definitely the best part of your morning. It is further affirmed by the two tall troublemakers sitting on top of the break tables in the TO Break Room.

"You guys are aware that there are completely comfortable chairs just beside the table, right?" Minghao asks as soon as the two of you enter the room, deadpan etched in his tone as he gestures towards the four chairs on either side of the table. "You guys are even spoiled for choice when it comes to which seat you'll pick!"

The two whip their heads towards you and your step-brother before they roll their eyes at his words, almost in sync. Their reactions make you cover your mouth, biting back a smile as you try not to giggle. "Just for that, I'm greeting Nova first." Mingyu, the taller of the two says as he stands up and walks towards you before pulling you into a giant bear hug making you groan as he squeezes you tight.

The action is definitely for show for Minghao making you tap hard on Mingyu's biceps, a way to tell him to get off nicely. "Can't. Breathe. Gyu." You manage to mutter out between taps. Mingyu, the ever-loving oaf, did not listen and instead, squeezes you tighter in response. Before you could pass out, the other tall man saves you by yanking Mingyu off of you, pulling you into his embrace instead. "Nova." Seokmin chirps, giving you a squeeze as you smile up at the man.

"Hey, Sunshine." You chirp back, embracing his hug as he squeezes you just a little tighter at the mention of the nickname. Seokmin lets you go before pulling your older step-brother into a side hug, which he begrudgingly accepts as you take a seat on top of the break table, much to Minghaos' dismay as he grimaces when you shoot him a teasing look. "Can't believe it's already our twenty-first Rookie Day!" Mingyu exclaims, taking his seat beside yours, on the top of the break table, the protein shake in his hand sloshing slightly.

You share a look with Minghao, who sits on the chair next to the table (just to prove a point, you're sure), before collectively rolling your eyes. "You're making it sound as if it's like getting the best present in the world." Mingyu raises an eyebrow as he takes a gulp of his protein shake. "It is for you and Nova." He says pointedly, closing the shake with a 'click'. "The poor souls that get the two of you as their training officers better start praying for their lives."

Minghao lets out a scoff as you exasperatedly gasp. "Me?" You ask, feigning ignorance as you dramatically place your hand on your chest. Seokmin lets out a little giggle at your antics, taking a seat next to Minghao on the chair — a way to keep him company. "I'm an angel. The rookies should be glad that it's me training them instead of a tall lanky bozo like you."

Mingyu's jaw drops at your statement as Seokmin starts laughing harder, almost falling off the chair while Minghao smirks, his amusement shining through as he watches you and Mingyu bicker. "Well! At least they don't call me Medusa behind my back!" He shoots back.

"Better than being called Brunette Ken, with all the muscles and no brains." You deadpan out, taking a sip of your smoothie as you shrug. "Besides, Medusa's a badass. She turns people to stone."

Mingyu scoffs at this, a pout making its way onto his face. "Your heart is made out of stone." He sourly mutters.

You roll your eyes, about to retort when you hear a knock on the door. The four of you turn towards it to see Seungcheol leaning against it, a grim expression on his face.

"Sergeant." Mingyu exclaims, his mood picking up instantly after seeing him. He mocks a salute which makes Seokmin giggle and Minghao shake his head with a slight grin on his lips. "May I say you're looking lovely this morning." You let out a giggle before looking at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol, however, did not crack a grin. He sends a nod in Mingyu's direction before locking eyes with you. "Nova, my office in ten."

You blink in surprise, caught off-guard by the seriousness in his tone, before giving him a curt nod. "Yes, Sergeant." He turns without another word, making you look towards the three men who stare at you, as if deciding whether to start praying for you or to reassure you.

"Did you do something to piss him off?" Seokmin inquires, his eyebrows furrowing with worry.

You shake your head. "No… I don't think so." Running through the previous weeks events in your head, you visibly freeze.

Minghao, ever the observer, raises an eyebrow at the action. "What did you do?"

You chew on your bottom lip. "I might've eaten his leftover kimchi stew in the fridge the other day when he wasn't in the office."

The three guys visibly freeze at your confession, unsure of how to react. They share a look between each other before turning back to you.

"The one from the place down the street that he was raving about last week?" Minghao asks, his voice laced with seriousness. In any other situation, you probably would've cackled at how serious your brother looks but instead, you swallow your saliva and nod slowly.

It was almost comedic watching the three guys' expressions change before your very eyes into one of grievances (Mingyu), one of disappointment (Minghao), and one of exasperation (Seokmin).

"Well, we loved working with you." Mingyu says empathetically as he reaches over to pat you on your shoulder.

"I can't believe you would do that." Minghao deadpans, shaking his head. "You know better than to mess with his food after the Bulgogi incident." Minghao states before nudging a thumb in Mingyu's direction.

"Hey!" Mingyu whines out as a pout overtakes his features. "We said we weren't going to bring it up anymore."

"We do when someone messes with the sergeant's food instead of learning from your mistakes."

Mingyu was about to retort when Seokmin stands up, animatedly waving his arms in any direction available making the three of you jump slightly.

"Guys! C'mon!" He says exasperatingly, his arms never wavering. "We need to figure out a way to get her out of this!"

"She brought this upon herself." Minghao says, crossing his arms. "The amount of times I have to remind you guys not to eat his food is getting out of hand." He mutters, locking eyes with you making you shrink back, a little sheepishly.

"What's going on?"

The four of you turn towards the door to see Jun. The older man assesses the room with the precision of a sniper — which he is — with an eyebrow raised. "Are you guys bullying Nova again?"

Sergeant Wen Junhui, is one of the leaders of Vanguard, a Special Enforcement Unit which is usually in charge of all the high risk cases in the area. To you and the rest, however, he was just known as Jun, one of the first few friends the four of you made in the academy. He was also your guys' senior by one year. Other than having a noticeable soft spot for Minghao, he had a bigger noticeable one for you — always making sure that the guys were not bullying you as much while always having your back.

The guys used to make fun of you all the time, saying that Jun probably did that because he had a crush on you — much to Minghao's dismay as your older stepbrother. You used to shut it down as well, always telling them to shut up. However, you did secretly have a small crush on the older man. Not that you would ever admit it. However, all of those theories turned into history when Jun met his girlfriend a year ago.

"She ate Choi's leftover kimchi stew that was in the fridge the other day." Minghao deadpans, making Jun's eyes widen before locking them with yours.

"You didn't." He says in utter disbelief, making you smile sheepishly as Mingyu nods.

"Oh yes she did."

"Nova…" Jun sympathetically drawls out, making your cheeks heat up before you throw your hands up exasperatedly.

"I know okay! Can we please let this go?" You beg. "I don't want to think of all the bad outcomes before they even happen!"

"Maybe we could say that the janitor threw it out." Mingyu suggests, ignoring whatever you just said, making you glare at him.

Minghao shakes his head. "No, Hyunseok is smarter than that after making the mistake once." Minghao recalls, making Seokmin shudder as he recalls the memory as well.

"Maybe he didn't even notice." Jun suggests hopefully, hopping on top of the break room table next to Mingyu. Mingyu furrows his eyebrows before shaking his head almost disappointingly.

"I think the top marksman badge from the academy that hangs above his desk would disagree with you."

You feel the pit in your stomach get deeper with each word they say, making you groan as you run your hands down your face. "I beg of you, please, can we just stop talking about this." You muffle out from behind your hands.

The room goes silent at your words before you feel a hand on your shoulder. You peek out from behind them to look at Minghao, the owner of the hand, who tongues his cheek. "You'll be fine, Pixie. Just go in that room and do what you always do." He clicks his tongue before gesturing towards the other three men in the room. "We kid and mess with you because we like you, I'm sure it's nothing serious."

Your cheeks flush a little at the endearing childhood nickname that Minghao uses every now and then when he's serious or trying to comfort you. The rest had tried to use it after hearing Minghao say it the first time when you were all in the academy together, but that was quickly shot down when you threatened major bodily harm in the worst ways imaginable.

You glance towards the three other men in question who give you reassuring smiles, making you let out a breath that you didn't know you were holding. You glance towards the clock before hopping off the table and dusting your uniform.

"Well, time to face the music." You mumble to yourself.

The four guys share a glance before Seokmin places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "We'll see you at roll call." He says, giving you an infectious grin that almost makes you forget that you are walking towards potential death.

Almost.

You bid them goodbye before walking towards Seungcheol's office. You raise your fist, taking a deep breath to compose your nerves, before knocking three hard knocks on the door. A soft 'come in' comes from the other side of the door, making you push the door open to see Seungcheol leaning against his chair, his expression unreadable as you enter the room.

"You wanted to see me Sarge?" You ask, hoping your voice didn't waver. Seungcheol nods and gestures to the chair in front of his desk.

"Shut the door and take a seat."

You nod, obeying his words before shutting the door with a soft thud and sitting in the chair, Seungcheol watching your every move. He sits upright, analyzing you with a small frown on his face that makes your nerves spike as an awkward silence envelopes the two of you. He opens his mouth to start but you cut him off before he can even get a word out.

"I'm sorry! I'll buy you the stew later for lunch if you don't give me the Bulgogi scolding."

Seungcheol eyebrows immediately furrow at your words, considering them for a moment as you continue to babble on about how you're willing to add on all the extras that could be added, moving your hands around animatedly.

"What?" He asks, confusion written all over his face, making you stop mid-ramble. Your hands freeze in place as you turn to look at the man, your expression almost mirroring his.

"Wasn't that what you wanted to talk about Sarge?"

"I don't even know what you're spouting right now, Nova."

"Oh." You awkwardly mumble out, lowering your arms slowly to your side. Seungcheol squeezes the bridge of his nose as he lets out a sigh, shaking his head. "Then why did you call me here, Sarge?"

He clasps his hands together before leaning them against the table. "As you know, its rookie day, meaning that all the new rookies are coming in today." You nod slowly, urging him to continue. "Normally, I wouldn't make such a big deal of talking to you or the other TOs about the rookies, but upper management has been flagging records, specifically yours."

You freeze at that, watching as Seungcheol reaches beside him and grabs a piece of paper, turning it around and placing it between the two of you. You lean closer, eyes scanning the paper, noticing a table with numbers and names.

Training Officer - Lee Seokmin: Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 3 Total Passes - 17

Training Officer - Kim Mingyu: Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 1 Total Passes - 19

Training Officer - Xu Minghao: Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 8 Total Passes - 12

You briefly screen past the rest of the names and numbers before your eyes land on yours, which was right under Minghao's.

Total Rookies - 20 Total Wash Outs - 11 Total Passes - 9

There was nothing unusual about these numbers. There was a reason why you were known as Nova to the rest of the district since your rookie days. However, what caught your attention was the words written underneath your numbers in the report that the rest did not get.

"Evaluation of Nova: Fierce by nature but tends to leave her rookies to fend for themselves in many reported situations. Needs to get at least double digits this year. If not, removal from TO program as seen fit." Your head shoots up to look at Seungcheol as soon as the words register in your mind. "Removal from TO program? Sarge, you can't be serious."

Seungcheol let out a sigh, grimacing slightly. "Internal Affairs is indeed taking this as a serious issue, Nova. They flagged that your teaching methods have been deemed unfit for taking in the newer rookies. They would like to at least see double digit numbers out of you this year if not," he points at the statement, "removal from TO program, effective immediately."

"Sir, with all due respect, this is bullshit." You manage to spit out. "My rookies turned officers rate may be low but the officers developed under my watch are the ones who are the best of the district. Even IA has got to know that."

Seungcheol sighs again and clasps his hands together, gripping them together tightly. "Look Nova," he starts, "of course I know that this is Internal Affairs way of bullshitting that you can't be here in this program. Your track record for rookies is definitely one of our best."

He pauses to gesture towards the statement again. "However, IA has flagged the number of wash outs that happen on your watch. Regardless of whether it is by luck that I always assign you the worst rookies, or that they do something stupid during the job or wash out during Plain Clothes Day… it doesn't matter." He leans against his chair, looking absolutely drained. "I had to fight with IA about this because they almost flagged your brother for the same exact reason." You chuckle with no humour, a little hurt by his words. "So you save him instead of me?"

His gaze hardens at your words. "You know it wasn't like that, Nova. Don't be like that, please." He says lowly, his tone cracking slightly, making guilt pit at your stomach. You knew it wasn't but you couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

You had met Seungcheol in an Undercover Class during your first year as an official officer and he quickly became an elder brother figure to both you and Minghao, always forcing you two to reconcile whenever you both had petty fights. He rose up the ranks faster than anyone you had known of due to his amazing leadership skills as well as his prior army experience that he had kept to himself a lot. When he had first made Sergeant at this district, you and Minghao immediately put in your transfer papers to transfer to his.

He sighs, reaching over to grasp one of your hands in his, a gesture you were familiar with, a way of showing of showing comfort from the older man.

"The two of you were almost kicked out of the program without any consultation." He says before rubbing a thumb over your hand comfortingly. "I was only called as a common courtesy because the guy in charge of the case owes me a favour from the army days. I fought tooth and nail for you and I was only able to save Hao because his passing numbers are in the double digits. Which is why they're offering you the same courtesy." You feel empty at Seungcheol's words and the thought that you and your brother almost suffered the same fate.

You and Minghao were known as the 'Deadly Weapons' during your years at the academy. Your records together broke everyone else's the minute you guys were rookies, making training officers in record time. You, more so than Minghao, had a track record for putting your rookies under immense pressure, tossing them into the deep end and letting them try to swim and fend for themselves more often than not.

Hence, the nickname, Nova— more so than Medusa— followed you through all those years.

You believed in teachable moments but at the end of the day, you were still only twenty-seven. A year younger than Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin, and you had definitely committed your fair share of mistakes during your few years as a training officer. You were harsh on some, didn't train some of them enough before plain clothes day and there were just some circumstances that couldn't be avoided while out on the field.

Seungcheol taps a finger on your hand, making you snap out of your thoughts. You look at him, his eyes filled with sympathy that makes you swallow your emotions and sit up straighter.

"Alright." You manage to say. "If double digits is what they want, the next rookie is going to be the best one I've trained." If you didn't know Seungcheol for long, you might have breezed past the way he visibly freezes at your words, or the way he hummed— a habit he did when he was hiding something.

You raise an eyebrow at that. "Sarge." You say, suspiciously eyeing the man. "What are you hiding?"

Seungcheol can't meet your eyes so you pull your hand away from his. "Seungcheol." You say, your tone more serious, making the man glance upwards.

"That was the next thing we need to talk about."

Your heart sinks again. "That doesn't sound good." You air out, sitting more upright than you already were.

"Your new rookie is, Kwon Soonyoung."

You blink at him before letting out a small laugh. "Wow, poor guy. If I had the same name as that god-forsaken idol of a murderer, I would definitely change my name straight away. Especially if I was training to become a police officer."

Seungcheol lets out a cough of a laugh before locking eyes with you. "Yeah," he says, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair. "But he is the Kwon Soonyoung, and he was found not guilty."

You stare at Seungcheol for any signs of humour before feeling your heart in your throat. "Sarge, please tell me you're fucking with me." Seungcheol looks at you, his eyebrows raising. "Does it look like I'm joking, Nova?"

You shoot from your seat, feeling your blood rushing. "This has gotta be a joke, Choi." You spit out. "A tabloid murderer—"

"An exonerated tabloid murderer." Seungcheol says, interrupting your rant and causing you to glare at him before continuing.

"—joining our district and being my rookie? Are we just letting anyone join nowadays?"

Seungcheol let out a sigh before standing up and walking over, standing a few meters away from you. "Actually, Officer Kwon had to sue the city to even be in this position because he was wrongfully charged in the first place. The trial found him not guilty and let him into the academy." You let out a slow breath as he continues. "And once he was there, he earned solid scores. His record also tells me they're better than yours."

You freeze at that, your frown deepening. "You can't be serious." You deadpan out.

Seungcheol shakes his head, picking up a paper on his desk before turning it to you. Your eyes widen as the score '389' reflects clearly on the sheet of paper causing you to internally curse. The murderer had scored one point higher than you. One Point.

Seungcheol pulls the paper away from your face, placing it back on his desk as you collect the million thoughts racing through your head. "Internal Affairs has decided that he is your new rookie to really test that your training methods work."

You feel your chest burn with anger. "This really feels like a threat, Sarge." You manage to spit out, your tone and words laced with venom, making Seungcheol sigh.

"It's the offer you're getting, Nova. So I guess the question is…" Seungcheol trails off, sitting at the corner of his desk as he crosses his arms in front of him. "Whether you're going to condemn him before you even meet the guy or are you going to give him the proper treatment to ensure that he passes with flying colours, so that you and him are able to stay in this district together."

Your eyes narrow at his choice of words before steeling yourself. "If he cannot hack it, I will cut him. Regardless of whether I'm a training officer or not after the fact." You swiftly turn towards the door, not wanting to stay any longer.

Seungcheol calls out your real name, making you pause as you turn back to him. "You're one of the best officers I have, Nova. I hope you know that even though Internal Affairs is being a bitch about it, I would have assigned him to you, regardless of everything happening because I know that you can handle it."

Your heart wrenches slightly at his words as you analyze his expression filled with sincerity and sympathy. It makes you let out a slight scoff as you shake your head. "If I can help it, I will not let a murderer walk out onto our streets, Seungcheol." You steel your gaze on the older man. "Even if its the last thing I get to do as a training officer in this district."

With that, you walk out the door.

All the sounds muffle as you continue down the hallway making your way towards the main meeting room for roll call as a number settles in between your thoughts.

546 Days.

You had seen the number written on Kwon Soonyoung's contract under your name.

546 Days under your watch.

546 Days where he will either pass with flying colours or flunk out under your watch.

546 Days to prove that all the blood, sweat and tears were worth it.

546 Days to prove that he has a chance to stay.

546 Days to prove that you were meant for this job.

546 Days, and the clock starts now.

Soonyoung can count the number of times he has been caught red-handed on one hand.

The first time being when he was six years old and he broke his mothers favourite vase, the second being when he had accidentally stepped on his dog — Latte's — tail and she had to be taken to the vet when he was ten. Third, when he sneaked out to meet a girl by the convenience store near his house that he liked when he was sixteen, which was also where he had his first kiss.

However, he didn't think the fourth would be at the age of twenty-eight, handcuffed in the back of a cop's car where he could still feel his hands slicked with blood, hear his heart pounding in his ears as he felt the adrenaline continue to rush through his veins.

Everything felt like a rush, as if he was acting in a new movie. Except this was real life.

He remembers the door being broken in, he remembers his hands stained with red as he was forced to move away from the body. He remembers the muffled yelling of the officers telling him to stand down and surrender when he hadn't even moved from where he was sitting.

He remembers being tackled by the officers, feeling them slam his head into the floor as they handcuffed his bloody hands together and forced him up on his feet, without a second thought for him.

He remembers being read his rights in the back of the car, he remembers being processed and being read his rights in the interrogation room.

He remembers flinching as the detective hit the metal table and yelled at him to answer their questions, questions he doesn't even recall hearing.

Worst of all, he remembers clutching her body in his arms, his hands getting soaked with red as he felt the tears run down his face, hearing his own yells that were muffled and he was sure that it was all just gibberish. Even with his face on the floor and his hands handcuffed behind his back, he could still see the pool of blood that she was left in, her white dress that he had gotten her for her last birthday was soaked with the crimson of her blood. Her eyes, that was once so full of life just bore into his, lifeless and dim.

He had never felt so broken.

Everything felt like a movie, he remembers calling in his oldest friend — Jeonghan — he remembers his manager getting tons of calls, looking more stressed than he had ever seen him, but he thinks the worst part of everything was the look on his parents face when he had gotten convicted, when he was almost convicted without trial.

Soonyoung woke up with a start, his bangs slick with sweat as he felt the cool air prickle his slightly sweaty skin. He groans, running a hand through his hair as a million thoughts ran through his mind.

Her in her white dress soaked crimson from her own blood. Her lips pale, her body cold and limp in Soonyoung's arms as her blood soaked his skin as well, painting his skin red.

He can't remember how many times he had woken up from the same nightmare, but he knows it had to be at least in the sixties or seventies now, considering he used to have this nightmare three times a week during his first week of trials.

That was almost a year and a half ago at this point, he remembers the endless weeks of trial, the sleepless nights of solo-confinement and shudders. When the jury ruled 'not guilty' and he was exonerated, Soonyoung spent the better part of the first few months going for therapy sessions that Jeonghan practically had to drag him to.

"Self-pity is okay." Jeonghan had assured him when Soonyoung brought it up once how much of a burden he felt, wallowing in it. "You went through something that no one should have to experience. It's okay to wallow in the self-pity for a while but don't let it become something that turns you into a shell for the rest of your life."

Soonyoung remembers wanting to argue then, about how it felt wrong for him to live when she was gone but upon seeing the tired look on Jeonghan's face, he shuts up. He was thankful for the older man, who represented him in court and managed to get a settlement for him which was the only good thing reaped from this god-awful case. It was so messy and the evidence was tainted by so many sources, that the case itself was just a nightmare.

Jeonghan had asked what Soonyoung wanted to do with the settlement after the case was over and Soonyoung couldn't tell him. He knew he couldn't go back to being an idol after this — not that he wanted to — the public opinion of him was the worst it had been in years. But after settling down and resting his head on a soft plushy pillow while staring at the ceiling, it clicks.

He used the settlement to sue his way into the police academy and the rest was history.

Soonyoung glances towards his digital calendar on the wall and curses lowly under his breath. Maybe it was just his luck that he happens to have this nightmare plague his mind on the first day of his rookie training. His eyes, flit towards the time on the bottom right of the calendar. He lets out a sigh as it reads 6:20am, an unfortunate time for him to be awake. He forces himself to sit up on the mattress, knowing that sleep will not come easy after the nightmare.

He gets off the mattress and shuffles out of his room, the air of the recent nightmare still lingering which suffocates him slightly. As soon as he opens the door, Soonyoung gets the shock of his life seeing Jeonghan sitting at their kitchen island, a cup of tea in one hand and his phone in the other, scrolling.

"Morning." Jeonghan nonchalantly states as he takes a sip of his tea. He barely glances up at Soonyoung, acting as if it was normal for him to be up at this ungodly hour. Soonyoung blinks at the older man, staring at him making Jeonghan finally glance up, noticing that he hadn't moved from the doorframe and raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"I should be asking you that." Soonyoung blurts out, shuffling into the kitchen. He leans against the kitchen counter as Jeonghan locks his phone, placing it face-down on the countertop. "Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?"

Jeonghan shrugs. "Was burning the midnight oil working on a nightmare of a new case so I didn't get a lot of sleep." Jeonghan pauses, analyzing the younger man. "I was planning to wake up earlier anyways. Wanted to see if you needed anything before you went in for your first day."

Soonyoung feels himself freeze at the double meaning of Jeonghan's words, which of course doesn't go unnoticed by the older man who slides off the island seat. "Tea?" Jeonghan offers softly. Soonyoung feels himself nod before moving to occupy the seat that Jeonghan was in, as if he was on auto-pilot.

Jeonghan shuffles around the kitchen, humming softly to himself as Soonyoung taps along, fingers moving along to the beat as he watches the older man move around the kitchen. Jeonghan had offered Soonyoung to move in with him right after the ruling, when Soonyoung had sold everything that even held a small resemblance to his old idol life, wanting to start anew.

At first, he was hesitant, he didn't want to intrude on Jeonghan's space, and after bringing that up to Jeonghan, the older man simply rolled his eyes and practically moved Soonyoung in without consent.

Jeonghan places the mug in-front of Soonyoung before leaning against the counter.Soonyoung takes the cup with a soft 'thank you' making Jeonghan hum in acknowledgement as he eyes the blonde man in front of him. He takes a small sip, sighing a little in contentment as he feels his chest warm from the hot liquid.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Soonyoung sighs as he meets Jeonghan's gaze, shrugging. "Nothing new." He states, his words bitter as he takes another sip. "Just of that night."

Jeonghan was painfully familiar with that night. He had asked Soonyoung to walk him through it at least a dozen times to make sure that there were no loopholes in his story that the DA would eat him alive for.

Jeonghan let out a sigh. "Are you sure that you're ready for today?" He asks, concern slipping into his tone. "The therapist said that she could always write you a letter to start next week."

Soonyoung shakes his head. "No." He had already considered this the other day when Minyoung, his therapist, brought it up during their most recent session together. It seemed too much like an easy way out and Soonyoung knew that as soon as he took it, it would make his journey a little less purposeful.

"I need to do this." Soonyoung states with a quiet resolve. "I need to make sure that no one else goes through the same thing that I did and I also need to do this for…" He trails off, not being able to say her name. But Jeonghan gets it, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, you were always the more resolved one out of the two of us." Jeonghan softly jokes, breaking the tension as Soonyoung barks out a laugh.

"No way." Soonyoung starts, shaking his head. "Have you seen yourself in court? You nearly ate that other lawyer alive."

Jeonghan scoffs at that. "Because their defense was bullshit." He snarkily states, shaking his head. "Like, how the fuck does 'your honour, the defendants footprints were found on the carpet where the body was found' hold up in court?" Jeonghan blurts out, his hands waving exasperatedly. "Like, no shit Sherlock, it says that in the fucking report."

Soonyoung laugh as Jeonghan continues to rant about the lawyer, his hands continuing their movements. When Jeonghan finally calms down, they launch back into another round of random but easy conversations to pass the time as they finish their cups of tea.

Jeonghan stretches slightly, glancing at the clock. "Well, time for us to get ready."

His words make Soonyoung look towards the clock hanging on the wall, realizing that it was already 7:30am. He goes to pick his cup up but Jeonghan beats him to it, stubbornly shaking his head at Soonyoungs' protests. "I got this, you can't afford to be late on your first day."

Soonyoung scoffs. "And you can?"

"Well, I'm not at the bottom of the food chain, Boot." Jeonghan quips back, a small smirk on his face. The younger boy rolls his eyes, silently flipping the older boy off before making his way into his bedroom.

"Hoshi?"

Soonyoung stops in his tracks, hearing the childhood nickname. He glances at Jeonghan who is standing by the sink. "Yeah?"

Jeonghan analyzes Soonyoung, chewing on his bottomm lip. "If anything bad happens today, I want you to tell me about it." Soonyoung blinks and opens his mouth but Jeonghan raises his hand, stopping him from whatever he was going to say. "I don't care how gory the details are or how fucked up the case is. If anything happens, you either tell me or text Minyoung about it." Jeonghan inhales a shaky breath, strict concern written all over his face. "Promise me, please?"

Soonyoung's heart clenches at Jeonghan's words before nodding. "I promise."

Jeonghan let out a slow exhale of relief and nods. "Good." He turns back to the sink. "I'll see you at dinner, don't do anything stupid that makes you late."

The tension of the earlier statements break at Jeonghan's nagging making Soonyoung roll his eyes. "Yes, mum."

"Don't start with me, Kwon Soonyoung." Jeonghan chastises, jokingly stern which makes Soonyoung's eyes roll again as a scoff falls from his lips. He enters his room, shutting the door behind him with a soft 'thud' before his eyes flit towards the rookie uniform hanging next to his mirror.

He inhales sharply, letting the silence wash over him as the fact finally settles that today is his first day in the actual police world. He didn't have the safety net of the academy and he has to be prepared for anything.

Soonyoung turns toward the window where sunlight starts to seep in as it rises slowly over the horizon of the buildings. Pink and orange clouds fill the sky as dark blue starts to seep in, the orange ball of light peeking through the buildings. Soonyoung smiles, slightly bittersweet. Pink and orange were her favourite colours after all.

"Thank you for another beautiful morning, Seoyeon."

"You're kidding." Seokmin states in disbelief, a small frown on his face. You give him a blank stare as Minghao, Mingyu and him peer into the windowed briefing room. "Kwon Soonyoung? Like the murderer?!"

"Exonerated murderer." You state bitterly, Seungcheol's voice ringing in your head. "Choi was very clear about that fact when he told me about it."

The four of you stand outside the briefing room, leaning against the desks as you stare at the exonerated murderer in question, sitting at the front row, engaging with the other three rookies.

"He looks so…" Mingyu trails off, tilting his head as Minghao fixes him with an unamused look. "Normal?" Minghao asks with an eyebrow raised.

Mingyu shakes his head. "Small."

Seokmin scoffs at that. "You're a giant, everyone is smaller than you by default."

The two start to bicker but you tune them out as you stare at the blonde headed rookie, squinting and analyzing him as he laughs at something the rookie next to him says. Despite being slightly older than them, you can tell that they're close from the way that they were cracking jokes with each other. Soonyoung, however, is nervous. You can tell from the way he keeps tapping his fingers against the metal table, no doubt worried about how the day was going to turn out.

"Pixie." You turn to your right to see Minghao leaning against the desk next to you as Mingyu and Seokmin continued their bickering. "Are you alright?"

You open your mouth, ready to let out an easy white lie but hesitate when you see the concern in Minghao's eyes, making you sigh as you fold your arms. "Not really." You mutter, turning back to look at the rookie. "I don't know how Sarge is expecting me to ride out there with this guy having my back, Hyung. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen."

"I'm sure Sarge has a good reason for putting you with him, Pixie." Minghao gently says. "He probably knows that this is the one thing that will put you on the board for the Sergeants' Exam. A challenge that will put you a notch above the rest." Minghao nudges you, a teasing smile tugging on his lips. "And," he adds, "if he doesn't make it, you can always wash him out. You're the queen of doing that after all."

An awkward laugh bubbles out of your throat as you feel your heart sink, digesting Minghao's words. When the three had crowded you after your meeting with Seungcheol, you hadn't entirely divulged all the details from the meeting. You said that the brass just talked about the new rookie that you needed to shoulder and that it was the wrongfully incarcerated man sitting at the front row.

You couldn't bear to talk about the consequences of what would happen if Soonyoung washes out on your watch, just like you couldn't bear to tell the details of how Minghao was close to being in the same boat as you.

Minghao, ever the observant one, raised an eyebrow at that and asked why the meeting had taken so long if it was just about that. You, ever the adaptable one, replied that you had fought with Seungcheol for the rest of the time about the decision before he finally pulled rank on you.

Not entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either.

"Still." You say, doubts swirling in your head. "What if I can't make him a good officer, Hao?" Minghao shakes his head before grabbing your hand, squeezing it gently in his.

"Pixie, you will deal with it." Minghao reassures gently, squeezing your hand again. "You're one of the best training officers we have and you will teach this idol what it takes to be a police officer and whether he deserves to be here." He continues, his words fiercely imprinting themselves into your mind. "You're Nova for a reason."

The doubts clear slightly at Minghao's words, making you smile at your step-brother as you nudge him. "Best training officer huh?" You ask, a teasing edge in youe words that makes Minghao roll his eyes.

"I take back everything I said."

Your smile widens. "Too lateeee." You singsong out making Minghao scoff, shoving you lightly.

"Shut it Pixie." He says, a ghost of a smile on his lips as you continued to tease him endlessly.

"Four musketeers." A loud, strict voice drawls out, snapping the four of you out of your conversations. The four of you turn to see Seungcheol leaning against the frame of the briefing room door with his arms crossed. Your eyes widen slightly, when the hell did he get there?

His eyebrow raises as he scans the four of you. "Are you four waiting for an invitation for roll call?"

At his words, Mingyu pushes himself off of the table, a cheeky smile on his face. "Of course sir, a hand delivered invitation from you really shows that you care about the four of us."

Seungcheol rolls his eyes before clicking his tongue."How about an invitation to clean the drunk tank instead, Officer Kim?" A small smirk plays on his lips. "I heard they had some real pukers last night."

Mingyu's eyes widen before he clears his throat. "No sir."

Seungcheol raps his knuckles on the door before gesturing into the room. "Inside in 10 seconds. If you aren't," he turns, a sly glint in his eyes, "you can clean the drunk tank with your tongues."

The four of you immediately stand up straight and walk in through the back door, sitting at the second last row of the room as the rest of the officers and the rookies watch you. Your eyes slowly scan the four rookies before they land on your own, locking eyes with him. He gives you a small smile, nerves definitely creeping in as you narrow yours, keeping your face as neutral as possible. His smile drops as you break eye contact, crossing your arms as you turn to look at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol — the watch commander on duty — stands at the front with Jun at his side as his second in command. You glance at Jun who locks eyes with you, giving you a small smile and a wink that makes you bite back your own smile, rolling your eyes at his antics.

"Alright, looks like we got some new blood this morning." Seungcheol starts, giving a once over to the three younger rookies before looking straight at Soonyoung. "And some, pushing it a little bit."

He rounds the stand, "Stand up." The four rookies scramble to their feet. "After six months at the academy, you have earned the right to be here but you'll have to prove yourself to stay. The way we do things matter. Protocol and tradition are the metal from which every police officer in this city is forged." He gives them a once over again. "Are we clear?" Seungcheol asks, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Seungcheol rounds the stand to where his papers are. "All of you can sit, except for Officer Kwon." He sizes Soonyoung up, folding his arms in front of him. "Normally, we would be doing the traditional introduction for new probationary officers but you," he takes a few steps towards Soonyoung, "are anything but traditional, Officer Kwon."

He clicks his tongue as Soonyoung places his arms behind his back in army stance. "So," Seungcheol continues, "I am giving you ten seconds to introduce yourself to the rest of the station before rumours start to spread like a wildfire."

Seungcheol signals for Soonyoung to turn around and face the rest of the station. You watch him take a shaky inhale. "I know that there's nothing that I can say in 10 seconds that will change everyone's opinions of me." He lets out a bitter chuckle as he shakes his head, looking at the floor. "Believe me, I've tried." He looks back up as he gives everyone a once over. "But I promise to always have your back and let my actions speak for themselves. And I promise to always strive to tip the scales towards justice." He locks eyes with you. "Because I know what it feels like when they're tipped the other way."

You feel Seokmin, Mingyu and Minghao all glance towards you, trying to gauge your reaction but you just continue to stare at your new rookie, who breaks eye contact as Seungcheol speaks. "And I want to make something very clear."

The whole room turns their attention back to Seungcheol. "Officer Kwon was found not guilty and he earned the right to be here like the rest of you." Seungcheol looks around the room. "He survived the academy, with phenomenal scores and I'd like to repeat," his eyes lock with yours, "that he has earned every right to be here."

You deadpan at the Sergeant, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as he turns to Junhui. "Now, Sergeant Wen shall lead us to our training officers favourite activity," he starts, moving to the side. "The 'Training Officer Match-Up'."

Jun takes the stand before looking at the rookies at the front. "Our contestants for this years matchup are," Jun raises his hand to address them one by one with a smile on his face, he eyes the first one. "Boo Seungkwan, who I am told is the newest military band recruit."

Boo Seungkwan whose hair was dyed a light brown, gives everyone a small wave as Jun eyes the next one. "Hansol Vernon Chwe, whose parents hoped that he would have the force on his side."

You roll your eyes at the dad joke as Seokmin giggles beside you. You watch Vernon rub the back of his neck, whether from second-hand embarrassment or just embarrassment from the attention, you didn't know.

"Baby face, Lee Chan, who is our youngest rookie in history." The baby face in question dons light brown hair and smiles a huge infectious smile that slightly cracks your neutral facade. Jun's eyes sweep to the next one, his gaze hardening. "And as you've heard, our idol-legacy, Kwon Soonyoung."

Jun clears his throat, clapping his hands together as he turns to face you, Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin. "And our winners are." His eyes flit downwards to his list. "Officer Lee, you get our newest choir boy."

Seokmin, buzzes with excitement making you glance at him, smiling softly. Being apart of the Military Band himself, you're sure that Seokmin and his rookie are going to get along very well.

"Officer Xu, you get our Star Wars fan." You glance at Minghao, a small smile on his face as he rolls his eyes at Jun's antics. "Officer Kim, you get our newest baby face." Mingyu shoots Chan a smile as you watch Soonyoung turn around and lock eyes with you. "Which leaves idol-legacy rookie Officer Kwon to ride with our very own legacy." Jun reads out your name from the list as you narrow your eyes at the rookie who gives you a small smile.

Seungcheol turns to address the rookies again. "Don't let today be your last. Forget the academy, listen to your TOs and you might just survive out there today."

You hear Minghao clear his throat beside you, no doubt holding back a smirk at the Sergeants' words as you shake your head at Seungcheol's antics. "Right, hop to it." Seungcheol claps his hands together. "Be safe out there."

Seokmin hops to his feet as he bids you and the rest goodbye, with promises to see you at lunch as he all but skips to meet his new rookie. The scene makes you laugh a little to yourself as you watch him animatedly introduce himself to Seungkwan before going to prepare their shop.

You stand up slowly with the other two, Mingyu stretching as he does, letting his back crack before shooting the two of you a toothy grin. "See you guys for lunch." He glances at you and Minghao, a cheeky smile on his face. "Don't make your rookies quit before lunch, I'd like to get to know them before you throw them into hell."

The two of you collectively roll your eyes as Minghao shoves Mingyu hard, making the taller man nearly collide into his own rookie. You immediately cover your mouth to muffle your giggles as Mingyu springs to apologize to the baby face while shooting your step-brother a sharp glare.

A small smirk plays on Minghaos lips as the two of you watch Mingyu and his rookie exit the briefing room. Minghao taps you on the shoulder, making you turn your attention to him as he levels with you. "Be safe." He starts sternly, glancing behind you, no doubt at your rookie, before looking back at you. "Call me if you anything happens, okay?"

Despite the nerves pricking at your skin, you jokingly roll your eyes as you mock a salute. "Will do, Sir!" Minghao rolls his eyes at your antics, shoving you softly before walking towards Vernon who's patiently waiting for him at the glass door of the briefing room. You watch them walk towards the logistics room before taking a deep breath and steeling your resolve as you turn to find Soonyoung standing right behind you.

"Ma'am." Soonyoung greets, a small smile on his face as you give him a once over, crossing your arms.

You internally sigh, this was going to be a long day. You briskly walk out of the room, not caring if he is behind you or not."

"You're kidding." Seokmin states in disbelief, a small frown on his face. You give him a blank stare as Minghao, Mingyu and him peer into the windowed briefing room. "Kwon Soonyoung? Like the murderer?!"

"Exonerated murderer." You state bitterly, Seungcheol's voice ringing in your head. "Choi was very clear about that fact when he told me about it."

The four of you stand outside the briefing room, leaning against the desks as you stare at the exonerated murderer in question, sitting at the front row, engaging with the other three rookies.

"He looks so…" Mingyu trails off, tilting his head as Minghao fixes him with an unamused look. "Normal?" Minghao asks with an eyebrow raised.

Mingyu shakes his head. "Small."

Seokmin scoffs at that. "You're a giant, everyone is smaller than you by default."

The two start to bicker but you tune them out as you stare at the blonde headed rookie, squinting and analyzing him as he laughs at something the rookie next to him says. Despite being slightly older than them, you can tell that they're close from the way that they were cracking jokes with each other. Soonyoung, however, is nervous. You can tell from the way he keeps tapping his fingers against the metal table, no doubt worried about how the day was going to turn out.

"Pixie." You turn to your right to see Minghao leaning against the desk next to you as Mingyu and Seokmin continued their bickering. "Are you alright?"

You open your mouth, ready to let out an easy white lie but hesitate when you see the concern in Minghao's eyes, making you sigh as you fold your arms. "Not really." You mutter, turning back to look at the rookie. "I don't know how Sarge is expecting me to ride out there with this guy having my back, Hyung. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen."

"I'm sure Sarge has a good reason for putting you with him, Pixie." Minghao gently says. "He probably knows that this is the one thing that will put you on the board for the Sergeants' Exam. A challenge that will put you a notch above the rest." Minghao nudges you, a teasing smile tugging on his lips. "And," he adds, "if he doesn't make it, you can always wash him out. You're the queen of doing that after all."

An awkward laugh bubbles out of your throat as you feel your heart sink, digesting Minghao's words. When the three had crowded you after your meeting with Seungcheol, you hadn't entirely divulged all the details from the meeting. You said that the brass just talked about the new rookie that you needed to shoulder and that it was the wrongfully incarcerated man sitting at the front row.

You couldn't bear to talk about the consequences of what would happen if Soonyoung washes out on your watch, just like you couldn't bear to tell the details of how Minghao was close to being in the same boat as you.

Minghao, ever the observant one, raised an eyebrow at that and asked why the meeting had taken so long if it was just about that. You, ever the adaptable one, replied that you had fought with Seungcheol for the rest of the time about the decision before he finally pulled rank on you.

Not entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either.

"Still." You say, doubts swirling in your head. "What if I can't make him a good officer, Hao?" Minghao shakes his head before grabbing your hand, squeezing it gently in his.

"Pixie, you will deal with it." Minghao reassures gently, squeezing your hand again. "You're one of the best training officers we have and you will teach this idol what it takes to be a police officer and whether he deserves to be here." He continues, his words fiercely imprinting themselves into your mind. "You're Nova for a reason."

The doubts clear slightly at Minghao's words, making you smile at your step-brother as you nudge him. "Best training officer huh?" You ask, a teasing edge in youe words that makes Minghao roll his eyes.

"I take back everything I said."

Your smile widens. "Too lateeee." You singsong out making Minghao scoff, shoving you lightly.

"Shut it Pixie." He says, a ghost of a smile on his lips as you continued to tease him endlessly.

"Four musketeers." A loud, strict voice drawls out, snapping the four of you out of your conversations. The four of you turn to see Seungcheol leaning against the frame of the briefing room door with his arms crossed. Your eyes widen slightly, when the hell did he get there?

His eyebrow raises as he scans the four of you. "Are you four waiting for an invitation for roll call?"

At his words, Mingyu pushes himself off of the table, a cheeky smile on his face. "Of course sir, a hand delivered invitation from you really shows that you care about the four of us."

Seungcheol rolls his eyes before clicking his tongue."How about an invitation to clean the drunk tank instead, Officer Kim?" A small smirk plays on his lips. "I heard they had some real pukers last night."

Mingyu's eyes widen before he clears his throat. "No sir."

Seungcheol raps his knuckles on the door before gesturing into the room. "Inside in 10 seconds. If you aren't," he turns, a sly glint in his eyes, "you can clean the drunk tank with your tongues."

The four of you immediately stand up straight and walk in through the back door, sitting at the second last row of the room as the rest of the officers and the rookies watch you. Your eyes slowly scan the four rookies before they land on your own, locking eyes with him. He gives you a small smile, nerves definitely creeping in as you narrow yours, keeping your face as neutral as possible. His smile drops as you break eye contact, crossing your arms as you turn to look at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol — the watch commander on duty — stands at the front with Jun at his side as his second in command. You glance at Jun who locks eyes with you, giving you a small smile and a wink that makes you bite back your own smile, rolling your eyes at his antics.

"Alright, looks like we got some new blood this morning." Seungcheol starts, giving a once over to the three younger rookies before looking straight at Soonyoung. "And some, pushing it a little bit."

He rounds the stand, "Stand up." The four rookies scramble to their feet. "After six months at the academy, you have earned the right to be here but you'll have to prove yourself to stay. The way we do things matter. Protocol and tradition are the metal from which every police officer in this city is forged." He gives them a once over again. "Are we clear?" Seungcheol asks, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Seungcheol rounds the stand to where his papers are. "All of you can sit, except for Officer Kwon." He sizes Soonyoung up, folding his arms in front of him. "Normally, we would be doing the traditional introduction for new probationary officers but you," he takes a few steps towards Soonyoung, "are anything but traditional, Officer Kwon."

He clicks his tongue as Soonyoung places his arms behind his back in army stance. "So," Seungcheol continues, "I am giving you ten seconds to introduce yourself to the rest of the station before rumours start to spread like a wildfire."

Seungcheol signals for Soonyoung to turn around and face the rest of the station. You watch him take a shaky inhale. "I know that there's nothing that I can say in 10 seconds that will change everyone's opinions of me." He lets out a bitter chuckle as he shakes his head, looking at the floor. "Believe me, I've tried." He looks back up as he gives everyone a once over. "But I promise to always have your back and let my actions speak for themselves. And I promise to always strive to tip the scales towards justice." He locks eyes with you. "Because I know what it feels like when they're tipped the other way."

You feel Seokmin, Mingyu and Minghao all glance towards you, trying to gauge your reaction but you just continue to stare at your new rookie, who breaks eye contact as Seungcheol speaks. "And I want to make something very clear."

The whole room turns their attention back to Seungcheol. "Officer Kwon was found not guilty and he earned the right to be here like the rest of you." Seungcheol looks around the room. "He survived the academy, with phenomenal scores and I'd like to repeat," his eyes lock with yours, "that he has earned every right to be here."

You deadpan at the Sergeant, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as he turns to Junhui. "Now, Sergeant Wen shall lead us to our training officers favourite activity," he starts, moving to the side. "The 'Training Officer Match-Up'."

Jun takes the stand before looking at the rookies at the front. "Our contestants for this years matchup are," Jun raises his hand to address them one by one with a smile on his face, he eyes the first one. "Boo Seungkwan, who I am told is the newest military band recruit."

Boo Seungkwan whose hair was dyed a light brown, gives everyone a small wave as Jun eyes the next one. "Hansol Vernon Chwe, whose parents hoped that he would have the force on his side."

You roll your eyes at the dad joke as Seokmin giggles beside you. You watch Vernon rub the back of his neck, whether from second-hand embarrassment or just embarrassment from the attention, you didn't know.

"Baby face, Lee Chan, who is our youngest rookie in history." The baby face in question dons light brown hair and smiles a huge infectious smile that slightly cracks your neutral facade. Jun's eyes sweep to the next one, his gaze hardening. "And as you've heard, our idol-legacy, Kwon Soonyoung."

Jun clears his throat, clapping his hands together as he turns to face you, Minghao, Mingyu and Seokmin. "And our winners are." His eyes flit downwards to his list. "Officer Lee, you get our newest choir boy."

Seokmin, buzzes with excitement making you glance at him, smiling softly. Being apart of the Military Band himself, you're sure that Seokmin and his rookie are going to get along very well.

"Officer Xu, you get our Star Wars fan." You glance at Minghao, a small smile on his face as he rolls his eyes at Jun's antics. "Officer Kim, you get our newest baby face." Mingyu shoots Chan a smile as you watch Soonyoung turn around and lock eyes with you. "Which leaves idol-legacy rookie Officer Kwon to ride with our very own legacy." Jun reads out your name from the list as you narrow your eyes at the rookie who gives you a small smile.

Seungcheol turns to address the rookies again. "Don't let today be your last. Forget the academy, listen to your TOs and you might just survive out there today."

You hear Minghao clear his throat beside you, no doubt holding back a smirk at the Sergeants' words as you shake your head at Seungcheol's antics. "Right, hop to it." Seungcheol claps his hands together. "Be safe out there."

Seokmin hops to his feet as he bids you and the rest goodbye, with promises to see you at lunch as he all but skips to meet his new rookie. The scene makes you laugh a little to yourself as you watch him animatedly introduce himself to Seungkwan before going to prepare their shop.

You stand up slowly with the other two, Mingyu stretching as he does, letting his back crack before shooting the two of you a toothy grin. "See you guys for lunch." He glances at you and Minghao, a cheeky smile on his face. "Don't make your rookies quit before lunch, I'd like to get to know them before you throw them into hell."

The two of you collectively roll your eyes as Minghao shoves Mingyu hard, making the taller man nearly collide into his own rookie. You immediately cover your mouth to muffle your giggles as Mingyu springs to apologize to the baby face while shooting your step-brother a sharp glare.

A small smirk plays on Minghaos lips as the two of you watch Mingyu and his rookie exit the briefing room. Minghao taps you on the shoulder, making you turn your attention to him as he levels with you. "Be safe." He starts sternly, glancing behind you, no doubt at your rookie, before looking back at you. "Call me if you anything happens, okay?"

Despite the nerves pricking at your skin, you jokingly roll your eyes as you mock a salute. "Will do, Sir!" Minghao rolls his eyes at your antics, shoving you softly before walking towards Vernon who's patiently waiting for him at the glass door of the briefing room. You watch them walk towards the logistics room before taking a deep breath and steeling your resolve as you turn to find Soonyoung standing right behind you.

"Ma'am." Soonyoung greets, a small smile on his face as you give him a once over, crossing your arms.

You internally sigh, this was going to be a long day. You briskly walk out of the room, not caring if he is behind you or not."

Soonyoung blinks in surprise and scrambles to catch up with you, nearly tripping over his own two feet. "I've heard a lot about you Ma'am, from the academy!" Soonyoung chirps up as he tries to keep up with your pace. "You are a legend! It's so nice to meet you—"

You stop abruptly, nearly causing Soonyoung to slam into you as you turn to face him, a scowl on your face. You glance behind the two of you, before Soonyoung feels himself be pushed into the interrogation room to your right, slamming the door behind you.

"Sit." He hears you say, eerily cold making Soonyoung blink.

"Pardon?" Soonyoung says as he watches you roll your eyes at him.

"You deaf, Boot?" You spit out before pointing to the chair across the table. "Take a seat!"

Soonyoung scrambles to take a seat. He watches you pace slowly around the room, walking a round around him before you lean against the table.

"Alright, Riot," you start slowly, making Soonyoung shudder at the nickname. "I want to make something very clear to you."

Soonyoung nods slowly, listening to your words. "I would hold off on any sentiment that you have from meeting me, Officer Kwon. I am going to make today the hardest day of your career, hell, the hardest day of your life." You start as Soonyoung watches you steel your gaze and lean closer. "You have twenty extra seconds to tell me why you think you deserve to be a police officer and why I shouldn't just wash you out now for a past that you can't run away from."

Soonyoung feels his throat dry up at your words as his eyes widen. "Twenty?" He manages to sputter out. "With all due respect ma'am, twenty seconds seems too little for you to just cut me over."

He watches you roll your eyes, pushing yourself up as you fold your arms. "Twenty crimes and scandals collectively." He hears you state, making him freeze, his heart sinking in his chest. "Is the reason why I am giving you twenty seconds, Boot. And honestly, it's plenty more than I should give you considering your track record."

"Which I was found not guilty for." Soonyoung finds himself saying before he can stop himself, making you scoff.

"Which some of the public disagrees with." You state, unfolding your arms and leaning against the table once again. "It doesn't matter whether you won the case or not Boot. The fact of the matter is that you were accused of them in the first place. Even if it was wrong time, wrong place that you and your godforsaken lawyer claimed in court, this isn't court. You can't be going around arguing with everyone who finds that ruling false."

You lean in closer again, causing Soonyoung's eyes to narrow. "So, twenty seconds to explain to me why you deserve to be here, why you aren't a liability to this department and a threat to my safety." You snarkily say before lifting your right arm. "Your twenty seconds start now, Boot. And if I like your answer…" You trail off, pulling away to steely eye him again.

"You can be sure that I'm going to make these next 546 Days a living hell."

When Soonyoung hears the click of your watch, he panics. He sputters out words, trying to plead his case but you just watch him, an unamused expression on your face. He runs through a thousand and one words in his mind, trying to find the right words to say but his mouth runs before his brain catches up.

"Of all the things I've heard about the department's legend, a quitter wasn't one of them."

Soonyoung watches you freeze, your eyes narrowing as you glare at him. "Watch yourself, Boot." He hears you coldly say but he catches your voice wavering just slightly.

Soonyoung has always been really good at reading people. It was one of the skills required to be an adaptable idol and he always used it to his advantage. Whether it be doing fan service for the fans or just charming the upper management when he was still under contract — he always managed to see what others didn't want.

So, with a leap of faith, he sees the angle and runs with it.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath before composing himself and flits his gaze to lock eyes with you. "No, I don't think I will, Ma'am." He coolly says as he crosses his arms. "Everyone at the academy was saying how much of a legend you are, taking on even the weakest rookies and turning them into machines." He shrugs. "Sure, some of them wash out…" he leans forward, "But I never would've thought that the department legend, Nova, would rule a rookie out without even giving him a chance."

"Riot-" You warn but Soonyoung interrupts you, his adrenaline and mouth running before he even has a chance to think.

"Ma'am, you're not even giving me a chance to prove myself." He pointedly says. "We haven't even gone on the shift yet and you have me here," he emphasizes by gesturing around the room, "Holed up in the interrogation room because you would rather use whatever you heard about me instead of getting to know me."

"Officer Kwon." You start but he interrupts you again by chuckling bitterly.

"How is that even going to work in your report?" Soonyoung challenges, voice low. "How are you going to tell the brass that one of their top scoring academy students, despite all that he has been through, washes out on the first day because Academy Legend, Nova, didn't even bother to give him a chance?"

Pin drop silence rings in the interrogation room as your watch goes off, signaling that his twenty seconds are over. Soonyoung stands up, still holding your fiery gaze as he matches with one of his own.

"So," he starts, after catching his breath, "Am I out or what?"

He watches you with bated breath, an unreadable expression on your face — which scares him more than it should — before you break eye contact and slam your fist on the table, making him flinch slightly. as you mutter out a string of Cantonese and Chinese curses under your breath. He watches you run a hand down your face before you glare at him again. "You got one shift, Kwon." You spit out, rounding the table to stand in-front of him. "But make no mistake," you press a finger into his chest, "One wrong move and you can kiss this cop career goodbye."

He swallows, as you raise an eyebrow. "Are. We. Clear?" You bite out making him nod slowly.

"Crystal."

You stare at him for a couple more seconds before you take a step back. "Go set up our shop Riot."

Soonyoung gives you a brief nod before walking out of the room, closing the interrogation door behind him with a soft 'thud'. He leans against the wall and lets out a shaky exhale as his heart continues to thunder in his ears. He honestly couldn't believe that he just did that. He stood up to you and basically called you a quitter and somewhat of a coward to your face. To you, the cutthroat Medusa or Nova of the Academy.

"Good going, dipshit." He mutters to himself, pushing off the wall. He feels the pit in his stomach get deeper as he walks to the logistics room to get the gear. "This is going to be a long day."

REPORT 1 OF 546 - SNIPED THROUGH THE HEART

At the academy, they run a lot of simulations. For example a bank robbery, a hostage situation that is about to hit the fan, hell they even run you through a simulation of what happens when you get kidnapped.

But none of the simulations could ever prepare Soonyoung for the cold shoulder that you've given him since the interrogation room. You've barely said more than three sentences since leaving the station, the shops' air uncomfortable with awkward silence.

Soonyoung wants to apologize to you but he know that he can't do that by any means. He had said those things for a reason and he will not apologize for saying all those things if it means that you give him a chance.

Which is how he ends up in this situation at lunch.

"You said WHAT?" Soonyoung winces at Seungkwan's loud outburst as he recalls the morning to his fellow rookies, leaving Seungkwan baffled, Chan's jaw dropped open in shock and Vernon who looks dumbfounded at all the words that just came out of his mouth.

"Keep your voice down, Boo." Soonyoung hisses, glancing around to see a few of the officers side-eyeing the four of them. "Do you want me to get condemned even more?"

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. "You should for all the stupid words that have been coming out of your mouth. He sarcastically states, making Soonyoung shoot him a glare as Chan shakes his head in disbelief.

"I can't believe you actually had the balls to say that to her." Chan says, making Soonyoung groan, placing his head in his hands.

"I can." Vernon nonchalantly quips back, taking a sip of his soda, and making Soonyoung's head shoot up to glare at the man who just shrugs back at him.

"I'd be surprised if you actually make it through the day, Kwon." Seungkwan states, stabbing his fork into his salad bowl before shoveling the salad into his mouth.

Soonyoung slouches in his chair, his face full of disdain. "I'm fucked," he mutters out, glancing towards the three other rookies. "Aren't I?"

The three share a glance with each other, having a silent conversation which makes Soonyoung groan again. He had met the three on his first day at the academy, and despite knowing who he was and the fire he was under, they welcomed him with open arms, Chan jokingly stating that they would rather have him in their group to keep an eye on him. You know, keep your friends close but exonerated murderers closer.

Soonyoung lets out a surprised laugh at that while Seungkwan chastises the younger man for even thinking of making a joke like that as Vernon shakes his head, a small amused smirk on his face. He learned that the three were childhood friends, having grown up living on the same street as each other. There were times where Seungkwan and Vernon mentioned a fourth person being in their group but immediately shut their mouth about it whenever Chan was around.

Soonyoung, not wanting to pry, never asked about it because of the incident during their academy days where Seungkwan accidentally said their name and Chan immediately shut down for the rest of the week. Sure, Soonyoung would be lying if he said he wasn't even a little bit curious about what Chan's past was with that person, but he knew better than anyone else that some wounds and stories just aren't meant to be opened.

"Well, on the bright side," Chan starts, nudging him, "at least you managed to make it through the first half of the shift." He says a little chirpily, trying to lighten the mood as Vernon nods, giving Soonyoung a thumbs up as Seungkwan scoffs.

"Unless Medusa turns him to stone and eats him alive later." Seungkwan mutters out before letting out a yelp as Chan whacks him in the shoulder blade, a sign to keep quiet. Seungkwan levels him with a glare. "Why you little—"

The two start to bicker as a few officers glance over at the two to see what the commotion is about as Soonyoung and Vernon share a tired glance, not knowing whether to stop them or hide more into their rookie uniforms in embarrassment. Soonyoung glances towards you, sitting at the training officer table with the rest, an easy smile on your face that makes him frown slightly. He really needs a way to prove you wrong. And he needs to find it as soon as possible.

On the other side of the courtyard, as you're the talk of the rookie table, Soonyoung is the talk of yours. "So," Mingyu says, taking a seat opposite you with his tray as you're munching on your salad bowl. "Have you cut him yet?"

You roll your eyes. "Ha.Ha." You say sarcastically, stabbing a piece of lettuce."Very funny, Gyu."

Minghao takes the seat on your right while Seokmin sits to your left, giving you a small smile. "Judging from the fact that he's sitting with the rest of our rookies," Minghao starts, nodding towards the rookie table. "I take it he had a passable morning?" He asks, making you shrug your shoulders.

"I tried to give him the old fashioned Medusa talk and he didn't budge." You mutter out, moving the salad around in the bowl. "In fact, he has some balls, called me something of a coward for trying to cut him before he even makes it out for the shift."

The three go quiet, making you glance up from your food, looking at the three blinking at you, their eyes wide. You furrow your eyebrows. "What?" You ask pointedly, a little uneasy by the looks on their faces. Mingyu blinks. Once. Twice. "I'm shocked that you didn't throw him out of the shop as soon as you started your shift." Mingyu states, a little shell-shocked, making Seokmin nod.

"I'm surprised he didn't come back with any bodily injuries." Seokmin quips back making you snort in disbelief at the two taller men.

"Shut up you two." You mutter out as Soonyoung's words keep ringing in your mind as if they're on replay. You grimace slightly at the memory before glancing at said rookie at the table, happily eating his lunch which makes you grimace even more.

Minghao notices, glancing towards your rookie before locking eyes with you, his gaze fleeting all over you, calculating and analyzing. You raise an eyebrow at his look. "What?" You ask, making Minghao shrug.

"Nothing. It's just…" He trails off, as if unsure if he should say it or not. It makes you uneasy.

"Spit it out Hao."

He chews his bottom lip before relenting. "If he really doesn't have what it takes like you said, you would have already taken all the high risk calls this morning so that you could wash him out as fast as possible." Minghao steels his gaze on you, tilting his head slightly. "So, is there a reason why you haven't?" You gnaw on your bottom lip. You knew the reason why.

Firstly, it's the fact that Soonyoung is right, his scores are impeccable, there was no reason for you to want to wash him out as much as you really wanted to. He is the perfect rookie on paper, almost on par with you and Hao, but he was right, you didn't know him. Second, the more obvious reason is of course the more selfish one where you could lose your job if he washes out. But you couldn't tell Hao that, so you settled for something… in the middle.

"Honestly," You start, "I want him to realize for himself that he isn't cut out for this job." You wave your fork around. "I mean, we've all been through it as well, it was hard for us the first few months. The academy can only teach you so much, when we got out of there, we were like baby birds trying to figure out how to fly again."

The three go quiet, slowly digesting your words. You had been thinking about this since this morning. You've heard Seungcheol talk about it a few times, when rookies quit on their own terms, it doesn't go on your permanent record which means that the brass would be forced to give you another rookie. Any rookie would be better than this stuck-up idol-legacy and you're sure of it.

You take a deep breath. "So, I took it easy this morning to draw him into a false sense of security before we take all the high risk calls the rest of the shift." A semi-white lie.

"Damn," Mingyu whistles, breaking the silence. "That's a very Medusa of you, Nova."

Seokmin nods. "It a little scary how your brain works Nova." He shudders. "I'm so glad that I'm on your good side."

The tension breaks as Minghao shoots you a smirk and you laugh a little at Seokmin's words. "Shut up." You say, with no actual malice this time, a small smile making its way onto your face. "Eat your food losers before we're actually late for the next half of our shift."

The rest of the lunch is filled with easy banter as you and the rest of the guys joke around, conversations flowing easily before Seokmin glances at Mingyu's watch. "Well," He lifts Mingyu's arm up. "That's all folks!" He cheerily says with a wink, making you laugh as Mingyu rolls his eyes at Seokmin's antics. He pulls his arm away from Seokmin, shoving him slightly.

"Get your own watch you loser." Seokmin lets out an astounded gasp at Mingyu's shove and opens his mouth, ready to bicker when Minghao puts up a hand, stopping the two.

"Please," he deadpans, "don't start."

Mingyu and Seokmin share a glance with each other, before turning back to the mediator. "But he—" Seokmin starts but immediately shrinks back seeing Minghao's motherly glare, looking a little like a kicked puppy.

You shake your head at their antics before standing up, rolling your shoulders. "Right," You start before eyeing your brother. "Can you help me clear my trash? I got a rookie to straighten out."

Minghao stares at you for a moment before he begrudgingly nods, making you give him a smile and a back hug. "You're the best!"

He rolls his eyes but pats your arms nonetheless. "Yeah yeah," He drawls out. "You only say that when I do something for you."

You pull away. "Because you're the best when you help your baby sister do stuff."

"Step-sister." He corrects making you roll your eyes before you bid them goodbye.

You walk over to the rookie table, steeling yourself when the baby face meets your gaze and his eyes widen as you try not to smirk at the way he starts to lose his composure. You stop right behind Soonyoung's chair before kicking it lightly, making him jump before he turns and locks eyes with you. You gesture to the shop. "C'mon Boot." You snark out. "Crime ain't going to fight itself."

You walk backwards as Soonyoung's eyes widen before he scrambles to his feet, ready to follow you. You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms. "Leaving without clearing your trash, Riot?" He stills at that as he turns to face the table where his food wrappers still were. "Are you expecting your fellow rookies to clear up after you?"

"No, Ma'am." He mumbles, grabbing the food wrappers and tossing them into the nearby bin as you see his fellow rookies all share a look with each other. You roll your eyes as the blonde man made his way to you before the two of you stalk off to the shop together.

The three rookies watch as the two of you walk away, Soonyoung scrambling to catch up with your fast pace. For someone shorter than him, you sure are fast. After the amusing scene, Chan eyes Vernon and Seungkwan. "I bet you $100 that she's gonna try to make him quit before end of shift today."

Seungkwan rolls his eyes as he picks up his trash. "No duh." He sarcastically states, "That's basically free money for you. We should bet on something more interesting."

Chan frowns at that statement. "Like what?" Seungkwan shrugs, throwing his trash away.

"I bet you $500 that they're going to get together." Vernon states nonchalantly, clearing his tray before placing it above the trash can. Chan and Seungkwan freeze at the statement before looking at Vernon as if he had grown a second head. Vernon looks over the two before he frowns. "What?" He asks, curious about their expressions.

"Bro," Chan drawls. "Those two?"

Vernon shrugs. "I can see it happening."

Seungkwan shakes his head in disbelief. "I think she would rather die than date Kwon."

Vernon eyes the two before raising an eyebrow. "Then it's easy money for the two of you right?" He challenges making Chan and Seungkwan look at each other, as if calculating the risks.

Vernon lifts up his hand making Chan smirk, shrugging slightly. "Sure, I'm in." He grabs Vernon's hand, shaking it.

The two look towards Seungkwan who looks like he's still contemplating before he lets out a sigh, taking Vernon's hand. "Fuck it, I'm in."

Vernon grins at the two as Seungkwan rolls his eyes again. "Don't look so happy," Seungkwan quips, starting to walk to where his training officer was with Chan by his side. "You're going to be down a thousand dollars by the end of this."

Vernon shrugs his shoulders, trailing after him before glancing at the two of you again. Soonyoung clumsily stalking after you as you try not to roll your eyes as he almost trips over air. He smiles a little to himself. "We'll see."

The shop is quiet again, the awkward silence unbearable as you drive around. You keep feeling Soonyoung's stares and glances drill into the side of your head. At first you could avoid it, focusing on the road ahead, but it didn't take long before it began to annoy you.

"If you have something to say, Boot." You say, shocking Soonyoung as your voice pierces through the silence. "Spit it out."

You see Soonyoung pull his bottom lip between his teeth from the corner of your eye as he gnaws on it before sighing. "I- I," his voice cracks slightly, no doubt from his nerves as he clears his throat. "I just wanted to thank you for giving me a chance, Ma'am. I promise you that I won't let you down."

His words make you glance at him and upon noticing the hope sparkling in his eyes, you sigh. "Like I said earlier, Officer Kwon," Your tone hard, "I would hold off on any sentiment. We had a slow start to our shift which means you still have the whole other half of it to make mistakes, so don't make promises that you can't keep." You raise an eyebrow and lock eyes with him through the rear view mirror. "Understood?"

Soonyoung visibly swallows, giving you a curt nod before he proceeds to stare out the window, taking note of the street signs.

The two of you continue to drive before you hear a gunshot, making Soonyoung flinch as your gaze hardens. "Kwon, radio it-" You stop as you watch the car in front of you swerve to the side before crashing into a lamppost making your eyes widen as you quickly pull over to the side, unbuckling and hopping out of the car in record speed as Soonyoung does the same.

You and Soonyoung pull out your guns as you round to the drivers seat and your heart drops. You see a male in his late forties, three gunshot wounds to the chest as the blood begins to seep into his shirt. You turn towards the windscreen, eyes narrowing as you notice the three shots bunched up together. You internally curse, pulling out your radio and looking at the high rise buildings. "Control, 7-Adam-21," You scan the high rise buildings. "We got an active sniper with a long gun at the 45 Bronco Avenue. Requesting backup and patch me through to 7-Adam-100."

"Copy." You hear dispatch state before there was static and Seungcheols voice patches through.

"Nova? What's going on?"

"Sir, we have an active sniper at the 45 Bronco Avenue." You repeat, actively scanning the buildings. "Requesting for you to shut down all eastbound traffic from Main and have Vanguard on stand-by, just in case."

"Copy." You blink in surprise as Jun's voice patches through. "Vanguard will secure the perimeter. Stay safe, Nova."

"Copy." You state, a small smile on your face at Jun's concern before Seungcheol's voice patches through again.

"Nova, Kim and Xu are on their way to your location, one minute out. Wen, I've sent Lee and his rookie to meet up with you to secure the perimeter."

"Copy Sarge." Jun says. "Nova, you and your rookie secure the scene, do not go after the shooter before backup arrives."

"Noted." You state before you address the crowd that had gathered in a panic. "Get off the street! We have an active shooter!" Your heartbeat thuds in your ear, pounding as you feel your blood pulse before you whip around to address Soonyoung. "Kwon-" You pause, noticing Soonyoung staring at the body, his face pale. You frown, "Kwon?"

He doesn't hear you, continuing to stare at the body, his chest pulsing faster and faster. Your eyes widen, realizing what was going on before you round the front of the vehicle to his side. "Kwon." You sternly say, reaching over and turning him around by his shoulders as he starts to hyperventilate. You force him to sit down, his body wrecking with uneven breathing as you gaze all over his face, your mind racing. "Breathe, Kwon! Deep breaths." You chastise, watching as his eyes unevenly focus everywhere except you, like you weren't even there in front of him.

You gnaw on your bottom lip before your ears perk up, hearing sirens behind you. You turn around, noticing Minghao and Mingyu step out of their respective shops. They jog over to you, faces serious with their rookies right behind.

"What have you got?" Minghao asks.

You stand up, blocking their view of Soonyoung. "We got a shooter, sniper from what I can tell from the bunched up shots through the windshield." You nudge your thumb towards it, your words urgent. "I've notified Sarge already, he's shutting down all traffic from Main and Vanguard is securing the perimeter with Seokmin and his rookie." You glance downwards at your rookie who is still in his head before looking towards your two fellow training officers. "We've lost about five minutes on the target but judging from the shots, I'd say they were at either of the Northwest buildings over there from the traffic flow." You gesture towards the buildings.

Chan and Vernon who were behind their TOs notice Soonyoung, their eyes wide as they start to walk towards him. You hold up a hand, stopping them in their tracks, a sharp gaze in your eyes. "I'll deal with him." You sternly say before turning back to Mingyu and Minghao. "I'll get him out of this rut and I'll secure the scene, we're already loosing precious time, go after the sniper."

Mingyu and Minghao share a glance before looking back at you, nodding curtly. They take off down the street, pulling out their guns. "C'mon, Chwe." Minghao calls out, making the rookie give one last glance to Soonyoung before jogging after his TO and clearing the streets. Chan however, ignores his TO's calls and continues to stare at Soonyoung, frozen to the spot even as Mingyu runs further away.

"Officer Lee." You call out to him, making his head snap to you, meeting your stern gaze. "I will deal with him. Follow after your training officer." You watch him swallow, opening his mouth to protest but you stop him. "If you don't, I will personally see to it that your TO writes you a blue page for not following orders." He pales a little at that which makes your gaze soften slightly, as you let out a small sigh.

"I will take care of him." You reassure, your voice still carrying the stern edge. "I promise."

He looks between you and his friend again before nodding and chasing after his training officer. You sigh, crouching back down to your rookie. You call out to him a few times before realizing that you need to shock him out of this anxiety driven state. Taking a deep breath, you slam your hands down hard onto his shoulders, startling him as you almost snap him out of it. He immediately locks eyes with you.

"Kwon." You sternly breathe out, looking directly into his eyes as his breathing is still uneven. "I need you with me." You mutter sternly, trying to get through to him. "I know it's a shocking discovery seeing a dead body but, I need you to focus on me and get through it."

He stares at you, his eyes still glassy as his breathing still doesn't stabilize. You gnaw on your bottom lip, mind racing before taking a deep breath and changing tactics.

You aren't sure if tough love would work, but you needed it to because there was a shooter at large while you're here trying to get your older rookie to get the hell back onto his feet. You level with him again.

"Officer Kwon." You spit out, shocking the rookie. "I need you to get the fuck back up on your feet." He stares at you, his breathing starting to even out due to your harsh words, colour returning to his face. You continue to get him to focus on you, coaxing him with hard words before the glaze in his eyes fade as colour fully returns to his face.

"Okay?" You ask. He shakily nods which makes you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You give him a once over before moving him to the opposite side of the street as he starts to regain his senses. You grab a bottle of water from the shop and hand it to him, not bothering to look at him before securing the scene. You don't know how long you spent trying to get Soonyoung out of his episode before navigating the scene, but Seungcheol appears as supervisor on scene.

"Nova." He greets before looking around you, his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns. "Where's your rookie?" You grimace, gesturing to the opposite end of the street where Soonyoung is, clutching the water bottle as if it's his lifeline.

Seungcheol follows your gaze before his frown deepens. "Did he puke?"

You shake your head. "Panic attack." You simply state, crossing your arms as you both stare at your rookie. "Seeing the bullet holes and the body seems to have brought up some… unpleasant memories." You give Seungcheol a condescending look. "Almost as if he shouldn't be a cop."

Seungcheol rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Luckily," he starts, a smirk pulling at his lips. "He has the best TO in the business to get him through this." You roll your eyes, ready to retort when Mingyu and Minghao jog up to the two of you, their faces grim. You watch as their two rookies immediately break away from them and jog towards your rookie before you focus on the two other TOs, your heart dropping at their expressions.

"You didn't get them did you?" The two shake their heads, matching frowns on their faces as you let out a small groan.

"Fucker got away on a zip-line before we managed to get a read on them." Mingyu bitterly states, slowly catching his breath. "We also didn't get a good look at him before he jumped off the building via zipline." Mingyu pulls out his city-issued phone, a picture of the scene on it.

You and Seungcheol lean closer, examining the picture. "Looks like the guy has elite training." You note making Minghao nod grimly.

"Mingyu and I accessed the scene after he jumped out and it looks like it was pre-planned, Sarge. The pegs in the walls to hold the zip-line look like they were hammered in, a day or two ago."

Seungcheol's eyebrows raise before fixing his gaze on Mingyu. "I'm surprised you didn't jump out after him, Kim."

You let out a snort as Mingyu blinks, a little stunned by Seungcheol's statement before scoffing. "Well, I was halfway out the window when Xu pulled me back, sir." He sarcastically states making Seungcheol roll his eyes, a ghost of a smirk tugging on the sides of his lips.

Minghao, who was examining the body and the scene, chews on his bottom lip before calling out to Seungcheol. "Sarge. We're definitely looking for a professional here."

Seungcheol's eyebrow raises. "What makes you say that?"

Minghao points towards the windscreen. "Moving car and still manages to hit their target dead center in the chest?" Minghao shakes his head. "I can think of maybe a couple dozen professionals who can do that." Seungcheol absorbs Minghao's words and nods.

"Well, at least that narrows the search down to a couple dozen people." Seungcheol says as your phone buzzes, you bring it out, scanning the report.

"Our victims name is Viktor Park." You begin to read. "He was an accountant working for ANB Funds and Savings before he quit his job. Database says that he was cited on about a dozen different laundering cases but never caught."

Seungcheol grimaces at that, "Sounds like we're looking for a gun for hire then." You glance back towards the car as you try to piece everything together while Minghao speaks up, almost as if he was reading your mind as he goes through the process bit by bit.

"So," Minghao clicks his tongue. "Viktor is a man of routine and judging from his car and the amount of papers that had fallen out of his briefcase," He gestures to the scattered papers at the backseat. "It looks like he was going to work. If he is a man of routine, it means that he drives down this street everyday because our shooter was just waiting for him to turn up."

Mingyu nods at Minghao's words. "So, maybe the person Viktor was working with needed him dead because they were scared that Viktor was going to leak information about the job?"

Seungcheol nods slowly. "Maybe." He states. "But we need to look at the facts and investigate." He runs a hand down his face. "Just our luck that we're down our detectives today because one's out sick and the other is dealing with the overrun cases in homicide."

You glance at Seungcheol before looking at Minghao and clearing your throat. "Well, Minghao has been studying to take the detectives exam in two weeks." You state, making the three men turn to you. Minghao blinks, shooting you a panicked, 'what are you doing' look. The action makes you shoot him a reassuring wink before continuing. "You could give him your all-powerful speech and make him detective just for the case." You lock eyes with Seungcheol, giving him a cheeky look before lifting a finger. "Plus," You add. "It's good on the job learning experience."

You watch as the gears turn in Seungcheol's head before he nods, turning to Minghao, who looks like he's trying very hard to decide if he wanted to murder you or thank you. "By the power vested in me— come here." He gestures for Minghao to take a step forward, making you and Mingyu stifle your giggles at how Minghao stiffly steps forward. "By the power vested in me by the LAPD, I hereby declare you Detective for the case." Seungcheol says, knighting Minghao. "With great power comes great responsibility."

You let out a snort at the famous quote, quickly covering your mouth as Minghao looks like he's about to puke from the immense pressure. Seungcheol claps a hand onto Minghao's shoulder. "You'll be fine, Xu." He says reassuringly. "Now, I'm assigning Nova and Kim to you as well because it looks like you need the extra set of hands." Seungcheol raises an eyebrow. "Understood?"

Minghao visibly swallows before shallowly nodding, his still slightly pale face making Seungcheol smile and walk off to go relieve Jun and Seokmin from the perimeter. As soon as Seungcheol is out of earshot, Minghao turns towards you and Mingyu who had matching smiles on your faces. "I hate you." Minghao deadpans, making your eyes roll.

"No you don't." You quip back, making Minghao shake his head.

"I'm not ready for such a big responsibility, Pixie!" He exclaims nervously, making you soften, seeing your older brother in distress, actually believing that he wasn't ready for this.

"Hao," You gently start, grabbing your brothers hand in yours. "You analyzed the scene and connected the dots in half the time that I did, even though I was the one who secured the scene." You give his hand a quick squeeze, a small smile on your face. "You're the best one to take the task out of the four of us."

Minghao looks at you, gnawing at his bottom lip before glancing at Mingyu who gives him a reassuring smile, swinging an arm around his shoulders. "She's right." Mingyu simply assures, "You've also been studying for this exam for like ever!" He exaggerates, waving his other arm animatedly, making you giggle at his antics as a small smile ghosts over Minghao's lips. "Having this hands-on experience might make it a whole lot easier to digest the information and further prepare you for the exam."

Minghao digests both of your words, glancing between the two of you before letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, visibly relaxing. "You're right." He says, his nerves steeling. "Let's get started then."

You grin widely at your older step-brother who has a look full of determination, "That's the spirit!" You hum out, letting go of his hand. "Alright, Detective Xu." You tease, making Mingyu laugh as Minghao shakes his head at your antics. "Where shall we start?"

Minghao thinks for a beat. "Well, first we need to secure all evidence in the car, his briefcase, phone, wallet as well as the papers are all evidence for the case." He glances towards Mingyu, "Can you and your rookie help to further secure the scene? I'll get dispatch to send forensics to relieve you guys later."

Mingyu takes a quick glance at you before nodding. "On it." He says before calling out to his rookie. Chan scrambles up, shooting Soonyoung one last look before he scurries over to Mingyu as they start to secure the scene and bag evidence.

"How come you didn't want me to further secure the scene?" You ask, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Minghao's gaze shifts to you before glancing towards where your rookie and his sit, making you frown as the information clicks in your head. "Right." You mutter as Minghao gives you a sympathetic look.

"As much as I want you here with me, working the scene," He chews his bottom lip slightly. "It seems as though your rookie needs to work through a couple of things before he can be allowed onto any homicide scene."

"So, you don't need me?" You ask him, voice small, making him shake his head 'no'.

"I need you and your boot to check with control and ask them to form a list of the couple dozen that could've done this to our victim. See what you can dig up on them before we knock on doors." His eyes darken as he grimaces. "Our hitman already murdered in broad daylight. I'd hate to see what would happen if we didn't have any backup." You nod slowly as Minghao locks eyes with you, his eyes softening. "There's no one else I trust with this job, Pixie." He assures, his voice gentle. "You're my number one. I'll always need you, okay?"

His assurance brings a small smile to your face as you nod in understanding. He pats your head once. "Let's get to work then." He says before looking towards the pavement where both your rookies sit, in silence it looks like. You gnaw on your bottom lip as Minghao calls Vernon over, making the rookie give Minghao a curt nod. He gives Soonyoung a solid pat on the back before he stands up and jogs over to his TO, a tense expression on his face. Minghao shoots you a look before going back to the scene as you heave out a sigh.

You walk over to your rookie, whose colour had returned to his face, and stand before him. "C'mon." You mutter, turning on your heel and walking back to the shop, pulling out your walkie in the process. "Control, I need a list of retired Army Personnel that have a registered long gun to their name."

"Copy, will be sent to your box upon completion."

As dispatch clicks off, you slip into the front seat as Soonyoung slips into shotgun, not meeting your gaze as he clears his throat.

"Ma'am, I—"

You hold up your hand, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath before opening them. "Save it, Kwon." You mutter out bitterly, shooting him a look of disbelief. "All this time when you were training to become a cop, it never occurred to you that you might need to walk into a murder scene?"

Soonyoung gnaws on his bottom lip, hesitating a little before answering. "I thought I was better. I haven't had a panic attack since my fifth session of therapy which was almost a year ago." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I guess seeing this in person again was just a little more overwhelming than I thought it would be."

You raise an eyebrow at that. "Just a little?" You pointedly ask which makes him heave a sigh again.

"But this is good," Soonyoung starts, "I found another trigger and I'll continue to work through it to become a better version of myself."

You shake your head at that, chuckling to yourself in disbelief. "This isn't a therapy session, Riot." You bitter state, as you try not to burst out in anger. "This is people's lives we're talking about. What happens when we're out on the street and you have a panic attack because there's someone else lying in a pool of blood while we're in the middle of a shoot out?" You ask, getting angrier by the second as Soonyoung watches you with wide eyes. "What happens then, Officer Kwon?" You hiss out as you jab a finger into his chest, your fiery gaze hard on him. "Will you just leaving me hanging on the edge of death because you can't work through your issues? Or will you die in the line of duty because you were paralyzed?"

Silence envelops the shop at that, your chest heaving as you catch your breath from spitting out the words laced with venom, causing Soonyoung to pale even more under your stare. You take a deep breath before removing your finger pressed against his chest as you lean back into your seat. "Work through your issues on your own time, Riot." You bitterly bite out, taking the shop out of park. "If not, we're going to have a serious problem."

For the next two and a half hours, you and Soonyoung work together in silence, researching and documenting the information that Minghao needed before you and the rest could go knocking on doors. A knock on the briefing room door interrupts your silence. You peer up to see Minghao standing there, leaning against the doorframe. "How's everything?" He asks, making you shrug.

"No complaints here." You say a little curtly making Minghao's eyebrow raise, sensing your tone. He doesn't push though, not that you expect him to. He was always professional in front of your rookies, but you know that as soon as you guys get home today, he will definitely annoy you till you tell him what it was about.

You silently grimace at the thought before pushing it away. Minghao looks at the whiteboard you and Soonyoung set up with the information for the case, scanning it with a slight bit of pride in his eyes. "Ready to call in the team?" He asks, making you nod.

"Let's do it."

Less than twenty minutes later, you are seated on top of the briefing room tables (much to Minghao's distaste) in between Mingyu and Seokmin as your rookies sit on top of the tables, a few rows behind you with a couple dozen officers in between the rows. Minghao stands at the front with Vernon seated at a table by the whiteboard, while Seungcheol and Jun scan the whiteboard you and Soonyoung had filled in. Seungcheol turns to look at you. "Alright, Nova, walk us through it." You give him a curt nod before standing up and ushering for Soonyoung to hand out the hard copy prints.

"On your hardcopy list, you will find one of the dozen targets that Officer Kwon and I have accessed using the records to figure out which one could be our sniper. It's shorter than our list from this morning but an even dozen is still a lot." You pick up a laser pointer from the side of the whiteboard before continuing, shining on the map shown at the side. "Officer Xu will be splitting you guys into four respective groups and each group will be dealing with a section of the map that Officer Kwon and I have narrowed down. We have reason to believe that our suspect is still armed and he isn't afraid of us, so thread carefully and never leave each other without backup."

You glance at Minghao, who gives you a curt nod before taking over as you go back to your seat. "Nova and her rookie have pulled their last known addresses from the database, their respective military missions where they served as well as any priors they may have had since being discharged from the army." Minghao grabs a list from the table before glancing around the room. "I'll be splitting you into your respective sections now so listen up."

He goes down the list, grouping people together until he reaches the last section. "Lastly, in Section D, we have Officer Kim, Officer Lee and Nova, with their rookies respectively." He says, glancing over at you and the two tall training officers. The three of you nod your head before Minghao addresses the room again.

"Sergeant Wen and his Vanguard unit will be securing a perimeter, if any of us need any help or our suspects try to run. Sergeant Choi and I will be stationed in the middle of the perimeter in a stakeout van just in case anything goes wrong." He takes a deep breath before raising an eyebrow. "Any questions?" The room was silent as Minghao scans the faces before clapping his hand. "Alright, let's get to it."

The room clears out, the different sections trailing out as Minghao turns to the three of you. "Would you like Officer Chwe as additional backup?"

You share a glance with the other two, calculating. "I guess it wouldn't hurt…" Seokmin starts as Mingyu raises an eyebrow.

"Will Choi allow you to just pass us your rookie?"

Minghao shrugs at Mingyu's question. "From Nova's list, it seems that your section has more of the dangerous targets. I don't think he would mind if I sent Chwe with you as an extra set of hands, plus," he glances towards his rookie who is still seated with the three of yours. "He won't learn a lot from me just sitting in the stake out van."

Minghao turns his attention back to the three of you. "So, what do you say?"

You quickly glance at Mingyu and Seokmin before nodding. "Sure, wouldn't hurt, just check with Sarge to see if that's okay, though." You stand up from the desk, stretching slightly. "Right, we're going to set up the shops, you should go ask Sarge now."

Minghao gives you guys a nod, turning to go find Seungcheol before Seokmin and Mingyu turn their gazes to you with a look on their face. You raise an eyebrow at both of them. "What?" You ask, getting a little uneasy at their hard stares.

"Are you sure about bringing your rookie with you after what happened today?" Seokmin carefully asks, making you blink at him in disbelief.

"Who told you?" You ask, pointedly as Mingyu looks away, a little sheepishly as the tip of his ears turned slightly pink.

Seokmin clears his throat as you shoot Mingyu a glare. "That's not the point, Nova." Seokmin says, turning you away from Mingyu and locks eyes with you, concern sparkling in them. "If you want to leave Kwon here because you feel like he isn't ready, I'm sure Sarge will understand that and let him work the front desk. Then you can take Chwe as your backup."

You stare at Seokmin, gnawing on your bottom lip as you consider his words. He is right. After the incident this afternoon, you have no reason to let Soonyoung out onto the street. Minghao probably wanted to assign Vernon under you for that exact reason — to look out for you and your rookie. You turn to look at Soonyoung who is seated with his back turned to you as he chats with the other three rookies. He smiles, almost adoringly as Chan and Seungkwan animatedly argue with each other about something as Vernon sits there, shaking his head in embarrassment.

You look at him for a beat too long before turning back to meet Seokmin's gaze. "I can't take the easy way out to train him, Sunshine." You say softly, your gaze hardening with determination. "I also can't spoonfeed him and just let him stay at the desk because it's going to get hard and he can't handle it." You shake your head. "That's not my style and that's not the training officer he needs. So," You take a breath before plastering on a determined smile, "I say he's going onto the field."

Seokmin stares at you, worry etched into his features as he glances over at Mingyu, who has a similar expression on his face. The two of them have a silence conversation before Seokmin sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Alright," he relents, shaking his head. "But you are to stay with me and Boo at your 8 and 9 O'clock at any given time." He raises an eyebrow, "Understood?"

You roll your eyes at his words. "What am I? Five?" You quip back, folding your arms. "I don't need babysitting."

Seokmin sighs at your stubbornness as Mingyu speaks up. "Your brother—"

"Step-brother." You interrupt, making him roll his eyes as he breezes past your comment.

"—has asked Seok and I to keep an eye on you and your rook out in the field. I know that you can handle yourself, Nova, but this assignment can go south at any moment. So, if anything happens, I don't want you playing 'Hero' with a backup who couldn't even handle it when he saw a dead body this morning."

Seokmin nods as he levels you with a sympathetic expression. "We're just looking out for you, Nova, just like you would look out for us." A small smile appears on his lips. "Plus, we can't have four musketeer movie night if we're missing a musketeer."

You let out a breath of a laugh making Seokmin smile wider before he grabs your hands, his expression softening to one of concern. "Just promise us, please?"

You glance between the two older men before sighing and nodding your head. "Fine," you mumble, "I promise."

Seokmin nods, satisfied with your promise, giving your hands a squeeze before Minghao walks back into the meeting room. "Rolling out in five!" He announces, clicking his tongue. "And Sarge gave the all clear for Chwe to join the three of you."

Seokmin gives him a nod. "He can ride with me then."

Minghao nods, thankful for Seokmin's initiative before calling out to Vernon. "You'll be riding with Officer Lee and his boot," Minghao says sternly. "Watch their six and don't do anything stupid." He warns, his gaze hard on Vernon who swallows nervously and nods. "Yes, Sir."

Minghao locks eyes with both Mingyu and Seokmin as they silently chat, making Seokmin hop out of his seat. "Right, let's go grab extra gear." He says to Mingyu, the taller man nodding as they call out to their rookies plus Vernon, before heading out of the glass briefing room.

Soonyoung makes his way to you when Minghao held up his hand, freezing Soonyoung in place. "I need a chat with your TO, Kwon."

Soonyoung pauses at that as you internally sigh, turning to look at your rookie. "Follow Officer Lee and Officer Kim, they will brief you on how to set up our shop properly." Soonyoung takes once last glance between you and Minghao before nodding. "Yes, Ma'am."

He jogs out of the room to catch up with the others, making you turn back to your step-brother who is already fixing you with a look that you're all too familiar with. "I'll be fine." You assure him before he can say anything as you roll your eyes. "God, you guys are acting like I haven't been doing this for like, ever."

Minghao rolls his eyes at your words. "I haven't even said anything, Pixie."

You scoff, folding your arms. "You didn't have to, Hao." You shoot back, raising an eyebrow at him. "Telling Seok and Gyu to look after me? C'mon, Hao, I thought you knew that I was better at discerning these things for myself."

"Of course I know that you can discern these things for yourself, Nova," He says. "Doesn't change the fact that you have a wildcard for a rookie, who has some trauma despite his amazing numbers, and that I'm not on the field to have your back today." He factually states, shaking his head. "Plus, you also tend to let your ego get the better of you in situations like this." Your gaze slightly hardens at his words as you feel a slight thud in your chest, his words piercing you like a knife.

He shakes his head, noticing the change in your expression. "It's not a bad thing, Nova, it happens to the best of us when we think we can handle something that we can't control." He sighs, his voice dropping lower. "It's happened to all of us, you can attest to that, you were there." He runs a hand through his hair. "I just need you to push your Nova-persona to the side for a second and question whether this is actually the right move, please."

Hearing his voice crack and the pleading tone laced in his words, makes your anger dissipate slightly. You know that he means well and he has a point. However, it doesn't change the fact that he thinks that your ego is clouding your judgment, though. You take a slow inhale, composing yourself and clearing your head before fixing your eyes on your older brother. "Hao, I'll be fine. Like I said, this isn't my first rodeo." You say, as gently as you could while still being serious. "As for Kwon, I'll handle it if things go wrong. I just need you to trust me, please."

Minghao stares at you for a few seconds before sighing out in exasperation. "Fine," He says, giving in, "But radio me the second something goes wrong." He fixes you with another hard gaze. "I don't care if someone else needs my help, I'll go to your section myself."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at your older brothers words. You don't have enough time to get into another argument with him about how he is just supervising. So instead, you bite your tongue and (just) nod. "Got it."

Minghao's eyes soften at your tense tone as he lets out a soft exhale. "Be safe." He says softly, his older brother persona shining through as he gives your hand a quick squeeze, before leaving the briefing room. You let out an uneasy exhale of a breath as everyone's words swarm in your mind.

You run through them for a few seconds, letting your guard down as everyone's worries highlight in your mind. You know it's risky, but you're Nova, if you didn't have that, you didn't have anything. You shake your head, slapping your cheeks a little. "Focus." You softly scold yourself. With a deep breath, you jog out of the room to meet up with Soonyoung who is already seated in shotgun. You slide into the shop, fastening your seatbelt as quickly as you can while Minghao calls for roll out, making you shift into drive.

"What did Officer Xu want?" Soonyoung ask, making you click your tongue. "Nothing that you should be concerned with." You answer briefly and curtly before casting a stern glance his way. "What you should be concerned with is whether you're ready to handle things later if shit hits the fan."

Soonyoung is silent as you fix him with a look as soon as you reach a red light. "Are you going to break down on me again?"

"No, Ma'am." He answers fast, almost a little too fast despite not sounding so sure of himself.

You nod, "Good." You focus your eyes on the road again, "Let's do this."

"Third house is clear." Mingyu says through the walkie which makes you signal to Soonyoung to cross the name off of the list. "Neighbours said that the family went on vacation to the Maldives on Monday and they'll be back next week."

"Must be nice having government pension money to bring your family to Maldives." You say into the radio earning a laugh from Seokmin and a scoff from Mingyu.

"Well, after doing around four tours for them, I bet you he got a raise in between." Mingyu states, making you smirk and shake your head at the small skit you guys are doing, looking over at Soonyoung.

"Who's next?"

He runs his finger down the list, landing on the fourth name. "Liam James," He reads out. "Lives just two streets from here. He did two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan before becoming a private contractor."

"To be honest, that just sounds like a fancy way of saying he became a hitman." Mingyu says over the radio making you snort.

"Let my rookie finish, please, Officer Kim."

"Sorry, sorry."

You gesture for Soonyoung to continue. "Some domestic priors with an ex-wife while he was still in the army but nothing since." You nod. "Kwon and I will take first point this time."

Seokmin and Mingyu chirp a 'copy' over the radio as you shift the gear into drive and head two streets down, with them keeping watch at the edge of the street. You reach the house, giving it a once over before turning to Soonyoung. "Alright, what's the game plan, Boot?"

"We knock on the door and see if he's home."

You raise an eyebrow. "And if he isn't?"

Soonyoung's eyes flit between you and the house. "Then we look for probable cause. If we find one — like a gun for example, we radio it in to Officer Lee and Officer Kim."

You nod. "Good, let's go."

The two of you hop out of the shop, walking towards the front door of the house. It looks almost like a summer home, white fresh paint on the walls, white picket fence as well as a blue roof. It looks exactly like one of the houses that a seasoned veteran would spend their money on. You gesture towards the door. "Go on." Soonyoung nods and clears his throat before giving the door three firm knocks on the door.

"Liam James?" Soonyoung shouts towards the door. "LAPD, we have a few questions to ask you." The door opens and a tall man in his 40s appears, dressed in denim jeans, a plaid shirt with a bomber jacket on. He looks shiftily between to the two of you.

"What do you want?" He asks gruffly.

"LAPD, sir," Soonyoung starts, flashing his badge. "We'd just like to ask, where you were this morning around 11am?"

The older man looks between the two of you before huffing out a chuckle, making you raise an eyebrow. "That's an ominous question." Liam says, glancing suspiciously between the two of you as a wary smile appears on his face. "Why'd you need to know?"

"There was a sniper shooting this morning." You simply say, making Liam click his tongue in recognition.

"Ah, yeah, heard that on the 1pm news just now and because of my background, you guys came to see me." You nod, noticing him shift on his feet, a nervous tick that you silently take note of as he looks directly at your rookie.

"Your question actually has some irony to it because I was at the gun club just a few blocks from there."

Soonyoungs' eyes flit to you for a second, looking back at the suspicious man as you plaster on a small smile. "Lucky us then," You reply, your tone even. "Got any proof of that, Sir?"

Liam nods. "I think I have a receipt for some ammo and a new gun that I bought. Let me go in and get it."

You nod, stepping forward slightly, "Mind if we step inside, sir?" You say, your voice feigning cheerily. "It's really hot out today and we've been looking for this guy since this morning."

He looks between the two of you, his face unreadable. "I do actually," Liam says, closing the door a few more centimeters to prevent you from peering inside. "But, I'll be out in a second." He gives you one last smile before disappearing and closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door closes, Soonyoung whips around to you, his eyes wide. "I'm getting a vibe."

"Good," You curtly reply, your eyes narrowing at the door. "At least your instincts are working." His eye twitches a little, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at your tone and sarcasm. "His alibi is pretty solid though." You hum out, peering into his living room through the side windows.

Soonyoung nods at your words as he follows your gaze, scanning the living room with you. "Gives him a reason to be in the vicinity but his vibe is really off." You hum at his words, the gears in your head turning as you pull out your walkie talkie. "Officer Kim? Officer Lee?" You say into the walkie.

There was some static but all you were met with was silence, making you frown, "Gyu? Seok?" Still no reply.

"Er, Ma'am?" Soonyoung calls out to you, making you look over at him, your walkie talkie still in hand. Soonyoung peers into the house through the translucent and semi-opaque windows before pulling out his gun. You watch, your eyebrows furrowing before he gestures for you to look inside. Turning to where he gestured, you see a rifle propped up against the cabinet near the front door, making your eyes widen.

"That gives us probable cause, right?" Soonyoung whispers to you, which makes you nod, stashing your walkie and pulling out your own gun. "Should we call for backup?"

"Signal isn't going through." You say, your voice hard as your heart starts to race. You take a step back, gun still in hand as you scan the house before something glints on the top of the roof, catching your eye.

"Kwon," You call, getting Soonyoung's attention as you squint. "Is that what I think it is?" Soonyoung squints the sunlight out of his eyes as his gaze flits around the rooftop, before narrowing on the object on the roof.

"Yep," He confirms, visibly grimacing. "It's a signal jammer."

"Fuck." You curse, your blood pumping faster as you run through a million scenarios in your head.

On one hand, you knew that this guy was armed and dangerous, waiting for backup is the smart thing to do. Not to mention that you had promised your fellow TOs that you would wait for them if something goes wrong. Prior to hitting the streets, the three of you came up with a plan. As house visits were meant to be wrapped up fast, it shouldn't take more than ten minutes per house unless something goes awry. If it does go awry, the other two officers would rush down with their rookies to check whether everything is alright.

You glance at your watch. Seven minutes had passed. You calculate the probabilities in your head, before making a decision that you are sure is going to come back and bite you in the ass.

"Here's the plan." You tell Soonyoung sternly. "According to the plan, Lee and Kim will come in three minutes but by how calculated this guy is, he might disappear the second they get here and we can't afford to lose him due to his backup plans upon backup plans." You point out, running through the points. "So, we take the probable cause and we start the timer for three minutes. No matter what happens, we stall." Your eyes flit between Soonyoungs'. "Understood?" He visibly swallows before nodding. You give him a curt nod as you hold up your gun higher and use your free hand to open the door.

Stepping into Liam's house, you peer at the rifle before gazing into the living room, the first room of the house. "I told you to wait outside." Liam says, his tone serious and angry as you step forward, meeting him halfway in the middle of his living room, your gun pointing straight at his chest.

"Sir." You say, your voice low as you noticed his hands wedged into his pocket. "I'm going to need you to show us your hands."

Liam lets out a chuckle in disbelief, "This is a mistake." He spits out, looking between you and Soonyoung, "I have the receipt for the stuff right here." He holds out the piece of paper towards you as you take a step back, making his arm falter.

"And we will get to that sir. But right now, my training officer has asked you to show us your hands."

Liam's eyes flit between you and Soonyoung before he lets out an exhale of disappointment, shaking his head. "You really don't want me to do that," He warns the two of you, making your eyes narrow.

"We'll be the judge of that." You narrow your gaze, aiming your gun at his shoulder. "I'm only going to say this one last time," You say, your voice even as you enunciate each word. "Show. Us. Your. Hands."

Liam chuckles lowly before his face twists into something more menacing as he shrugs. "Fine," he barks out. "But you asked for this." Everything happens in a split second.

Before you can even react, Liam pulls out a pistol from his pocket which makes your eyes widen. "GET DOWN!" You yell at Soonyoung, diving behind the coffee table as Liam pelts bullets into both your directions. Your eyes close tightly on instinct, placing your hands above your face to shield it from the concrete wall shavings and wood splinters flying your way. The clicks of the gun trigger fades down the hallway but the shots continue, making your blood rush as you feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

You peer above the coffee table, scanning the room till you notice Liam standing behind the connecting wall of the living room and the kitchen, making you scowl as you fire a few shots at said wall, missing him by a few millimeters. You continue to fire and duck before looking to your left to see Soonyoung on the floor, cowering behind the display cabinet near the front door.

Soonyoung whose gun is near his thighs, not a single bullet fired as he peers from behind the cabinet every few seconds while his hands shake uncontrollably as he looks as paralyzed as he was this afternoon. His chest heaves, making you curse under your breath as Mingyu and Seokmin's words flash in your mind. Their concerns had come true at this very instance.

"OFFICER KWON!" You yell out over the shots, making him look directly into your eyes as you pelt a few more bullets into the wall. "IF YOU DO NOT FUCKING GET UP AND ENGAGE THE SUSPECT—" You pelt a few more bullets up at the suspect, letting the threat fall on his ears as you duck down and meet his gaze again, hard. "GET THE FUCK UP, KWON SOONYOUNG!"

Soonyoung continues to blankly stare at you as you reload your gun with your spare clip, watching from the corner of your eye as Liam moves even further towards the backdoor. Your blood runs cold as panic ensues. If he gets to the back door, it's game over.

You faintly hear Mingyu and Seokmin's shops in the distance as they race down the road. The sirens should've placated your adrenaline rush, but all you could focus on, is the man moving closer and closer to his exit. Without a second thought, you lunge over the coffee table and run to the connecting wall that you were pelting bullets into, just a few minutes ago.

Your heart races as you duck behind any surface you can as Liam continues his assault of bullets, one of them grazing your shoulder and causing you to flinch in pain as you feel the sting and burn it leaves behind. You grit your teeth, continuing to run and duck as you reach the connecting wall, slamming your back hard against it as you try to catch your breath. The assault of bullets cease, making you peer around the wall to catch a glimpse of Liam reloading his gun as he makes a break for the kitchen counter. Your eyes narrow as you fire a few rounds at him, cursing as he manages to evade them. He ducks behind the kitchen counter, his escape route through the backdoor almost clear, making your heart pound in your ears. Liam fires a few shots back at you without looking up, making you crouch even further behind the wall to check your clip.

Two bullets left.

"Fuck my life." You mutter lowly. "Liam! It's going to be really bad for you in about thirty seconds." You shout, hearing him scuffle behind the kitchen counter.

"You're going to have more cops out there than you can handle." You shout, wincing as you feel a spike of pain from the bullet graze, your adrenaline waning as your heart rate starts to slow down. "You'll have an easier time with the DA if you surrender now because if you kill an officer, you'll never see outside of the four gray walls ever again." You reason, trying to get him to relent.

"Shut up you bitch!" Liam yells before firing a few more rounds as you making you shelter yourself behind the wall. "I rather die than go to prison."

You click your tongue, "I don't know about that, Liam!" You say calmly, trying to push him to talk more. "If you shoot me, my rookie will have to put a bullet between your eyes. I'll be pissed off and have to take a few weeks to recover but you?" You chuckle lowly. "Will never see the light of day again."

You hear him bark out a laugh, "You mean the guy who hasn't fired a single bullet at me?" You tune into the sound of his voice as you slowly round the wall and walk towards the counter as quietly as you can as he continues with a scoff. "Yeah, right, sweetheart." You grimace at the pet name, feeling your blood boil slightly at it. "I bet he's cowering behind the display shelf isn't he? What a rookie you raised." He chuckles mockingly, as you reach the counter before jumping over it and pointing your gun dead center between his brows, making his eyes light up with shock as he stares at you.

"It's his first day." You shrug,nonchalantly as you keep your hand still, never wavering, "But it'll be your last, the second you reach for the gun again." You harden your gaze on him. "Drop it." You say calmly, your tone even and hard. Liam's gaze switches between meeting yours, eyeing the gun in your hand and his that is pointing towards the floor.

There's silence for a beat before he sighs and throws the gun to the side, raising his hands in surrender as he give you a condescending smile. "Alright, sweetheart," He says,"You're smart, I'll give you that." You narrow your gaze before his eyes widen like a madman, "But not smart enough."

Before you could even think, he swipes his feet under yours, knocking you off your feet and the air in your lungs as you choke on your shock and saliva. Liam quickly jumps to his feet as he whistles lowly and steps his boot onto your wrist, crushing it as you let out a yell of pain.

He gives you a sick smile as he picks up the gun from your hand with no push back and crushes your wrist harder under his boot making you gasp from the pain. Liam cocks his head to the side, in mock sympathy. "Poor you," he coos out, his voice laced with fake honey, "This is what happens when they put women in command, sweetheart." He chuckles lowly, shaking his head. "You ladies all think that you're smarter and better than us but working in the government is a man's job, darling."

You grit your teeth at his words as he applies even more pressure on your wrist and leans in closer, leveling the gun with your face. "Such a shame that I have to kill you." He clicks his tongue, "You really do have a pretty face." His smile widens as your blood runs cold.

This is it. You had let your ego get in the way and you were never going to see your friends or Minghao again. You brace for impact, closing your eyes as you hear him cock the gun before hearing a shot.

The gunshot rings loudly in your ears as you feel the pressure on your wrist immediately fade. Muffled voices come from behind you before Minghao appears by your side, his eyes wide with concern as his mouth moves too fast for you to catch what he is saying while he sheathes his gun back into his holder.

"Pixie." He breaths out, his voice getting clearer and clearer as each second passes. "Chwe!" He yells, almost out of breath. "Request for an RA and an ambulance now!"

You hear a thousand different dialogues going on as Minghao gets you to try and focus on him. "Suspect in custody, requesting for an RA and ambulance to our location, over." You hear Vernon briskly say as Minghao accesses you for damage as he mutters on about how stupid you are. He freezes, seeing your shoulder and grimaces at the amount of blood there was, seeping through your uniform.

"Nova!" You hear Mingyu and Seokmin's footsteps before you see them, as they crouch in front of you, just behind Minghao who's still holding your face between his hands as his eyes flit around your face.

"I can't tell if she has a concussion." Minghao says, his voice cracking slightly. "Pixie, can you hear me?" You blink, feeling your body start to crash from the adrenaline as your head starts to unfog, watching Seokmin chew on his bottom lip.

"I think she's in shock, Hao." He says before Mingyu gets your attention.

"Blink twice if you can hear us, Nova." Mingyu says, concern lacing his voice as you respond by blinking twice along with a shaky exhale.

"I'm—" You manage to choke out, feeling all your senses returning as your body aches and your wrist throbs, "I'm okay." You breathe out, causing Minghao to let out a shaky exhale before he pulls you straight into his chest. Your head collides into his shoulder as he chokes back a sob, making your heart clench as he squeezes you tighter into him, not caring who is watching. "Hao…" You slowly say as you run a hand soothingly down his back as you meet Mingyu and Seokmin's eyes which are swirling with relief.

"Fuck you, Pixie." He spits out into your shoulder, "I thought you were gone." Your heart clenches a little more as you slowly push yourself out of his embrace to look him in the eyes.

"Hao," you say gently, coaxing the boy to lock eyes with you. "Look at me." He looks at you and your chest drops at how broken and empty his eyes look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." You whisper out as you try for a small smile. "But I'm okay, you saved me." You let out a shaky breath, teething on the edge of sobbing as the shock hits you fully. "Thank you for saving me."

Minghao gnaws on his bottom lip as you let a few tears fall, sobbing slightly making him pull you back into his chest as he runs a hand through your hair. "I'm here." He says quietly, gently kissing your hair as you soak his uniform. "You're safe."

Minghao doesn't leave your side once, even as you're getting patched up for the bullet graze as the paramedics check you for any other injuries, clearing you from all signs of a concussion. "You're very lucky." The paramedic tells you, eyeing you as she cleans the bullet graze. "A couple more centimeters to the left and it would've hit you in the neck."

You felt lucky. You knew that if Minghao and the rest were even a second later, you would've died. Minghao's hand holds yours as they check your wrist before placing it in a small brace, ruling it as a bad sprain that would heal in a few days. You thank them, looking at your brother as he fills you in.

Seokmin and Mingyu requested backup the second they heard the gun, but due to the shots getting fired, they had no clear way to enter.

Minghao, who was in the stakeout truck, immediately rushed over without a second thought. They formed a quick plan for Seokmin, Mingyu and their respective rookies to secure the back of the house just in case the suspect ran. Minghao and Vernon took the front, waiting for the right time to enter. But the moment Minghao heard your scream, he lost all sense of the entire plan, running inside and firing into Liam's shoulder.

Minghao stays quiet for a beat after finishing his retelling, making you take a few sips of water from a plastic bottle that Minghao got from his shop. "Slowly." He chastises as you gulp down, not noticing how dehydrated you are. "You're going to choke." You resist the urge to roll your eyes, knowing that Minghao is doting on you because you nearly died in front of him.

After you get patched up, Minghao insists on driving the shop back to the station for debrief. "Don't we need to get Kwon?" You ask, slipping into shotgun as Minghao scowls.

"I asked Mingyu and Seokmin to take him back to the station." He levels you with a gaze before starting up the car as you slump into the seat. "You're going to wash him out, right?" Minghao asks after a few beats of silence. "You kind of have to at this point."

You chew your bottom lip, "I don't know, Hao." You softly say, making Minghao let out a scoff of disbelief.

"You're kidding, Pixie." He says, his tone incredulous. "You've washed out rookies for less!" He bites out, his voice getting louder and louder with each word as they're laced with more and more venom.

"It's not that simple, Hao." You shoot back, your voice low as Minghao snorts.

"Pixie, it's as simple as riding a fucking bike." He spits back, his fingers squeezing the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles start to turn white. "He's clearly going through a midlife crisis of becoming a cop. He was a fucking idol for godsake!" He laughs, not a single trace of humour in it as he rambles on. "He may have gotten good scores, Nova, but that doesn't change the fact that he almost let you die and didn't have your back." He briefly locks eyes with you through the rear-view mirror before looking back at the road. "I have your back if you need to wash him out so please, Nova." He lets out a quiet exhale, "Don't be a hero and try to train the impossible rookie."

You let silence envelop the shop as you take in Minghao's words. He is right. You had washed out rookies for less and over smaller mistakes. This situation is different though. The consequences of you washing out this rookie are different.

Kwon Soonyoung has a tie to your career that either means you keep getting to do what you love or risk loosing it all because he was not prepared. If you'd place both options on a scale, you honestly wouldn't know where it titled to more. Lady luck is not on your side either way.

"Pixie." Minghao breathes out, shaking you out of your thoughts. "What are you keeping from me?" He asks, his low voice making your heart clench slightly.

You could tell him. Keeping it from him even for just the past shift was already making his perception of you change. You don't know how to tell him that Soonyoung needs to pass by any means necessary in order for you to keep this job. You live and breathe this job and no one knows that better than him. But you also know that he would force you to take all the easy calls, or that he would fight tooth and nail to get the rookie transferred to him because there is no consequences for him, and you simply can't let that happen.

"I'm not hiding anything, Hao." You say, your voice calmer than you thought it would be as you gaze out the window, the streets of Los Angeles whizzing by as you refuse to meet his eyes. "Can we please, just get back to the station for debrief?"

Minghao lets out a sigh, sounding like he wants to argue but nothing comes as he continues driving. You spend the rest of the way back in silence as you try not to let your exhaustion get the better of you and fall asleep in the shop, opting to just crash in your bed later after getting a cup of hot chamomile tea and a shower.

You and Minghao hop out of the shop and go straight to the meeting room where you are met with Seungcheol's stern gaze as he stands at the front door of the meeting room. You feel uneasy as he accesses you from top to bottom, an unreadable expression on his face with his arms crossed.

You tiredly brace for impact as he meets your gaze. "Glad to see you're alive." Seungcheol says, his voice even, "I also see that your rookie came back earlier without you." You swallow, opening your mouth to respond when Minghao beats you to it.

"I told Kwon to ride with Kim back to the station." His tone eerily even as he takes a quick sharp glance at you. "I needed Nova to debrief me in the car so I drove the shop back and we took the scenic route to have more time."

Seungcheol looks between the two of you before sighing and shaking his head, "I expect your reports on my desk before the end of shift." He relents, walking into the briefing room as you trail in after him with Minghao behind you.

You meet Soonyoung's gaze as soon as you walk through the door and notice the way his face pales as he immediately breaks eye contact and fiddles with his fingers. His face is filled with regret that makes your blood boil at the thought of him cowering behind the desk. Clenching your fist, you take your seat between Mingyu and Seokmin who share an uneasy glance at the obvious growing tension between you and Minghao.

The debrief goes quickly. You opt to stay quiet for most of it, only filling in the parts you need to before the shift ends. You stand up and walk out of the meeting room when Seungcheol's voice stops you as he calls Soonyoung, a tense tone in his voice.

You opt to stay quiet for most of it and only filling in the parts you needed to before the shift ends. You stand up and walk out of the meeting room when Seungcheol's voice stops you as he calls Soonyoung, a tense tone in his voice. You watch from the outside as Seungcheol slowly walks over to your rookie, his gaze hard with his arms crossed.

"I hear you left your training officer to fend for herself." Seungcheol says, his voice low. If looks could kill, Soonyoung would probably be six-feet under with how intensely he looks at him.

Soonyoung swallows, "Sir, I—" Seungcheol holds up a hand, interrupting Soonyoung before he could start rambling.

"Save it," Seungcheol hisses out. "I don't need your explanations or excuses, Officer Kwon. I will know all the reasons as soon as your TO gives me the report later." He steps closer to Soonyoung. "And if she writes something just a little out of place," He quietly threatens. "You're done, Officer Kwon."

Soonyoung nods grimly before Seungcheol shoos him away, making him walk out of the room, his head hung low before he almost runs into you with your arms crossed and an unreadable look on your face.

The two of you stare at each other for a beat before Soonyoung clears his throat, "Ma'am." He starts, his voice soft as he takes a deep breath. "I just wanted to say that whatever you write in the report, I take full responsibility." You don't respond, opting to let him continue. "I know I let you down today. You gave me a shot and I screwed it up." Soonyoung locks eyes with you, "But if by some grace of some God out there that I make it through till tomorrow. I promise you that I'll be the best rookie that you ever have."

You let his words fall into the silence surrounding the two of you, letting it sit there as you let the guilt in his heart stew a little longer. "I'm not going to fire you, Officer Kwon."

His eyes widen at that. "What?" He sputters out, not doing anything to mask his shock.

"Don't get me wrong, Kwon." You say, your voice tense and low, "I should be firing you for the stunt that you pulled off today. Whatever you did and didn't do at the sniper's house just proves to me that you are a liability to the department and to me." You shake your head as you let out a bitter chuckle before narrowing your gaze on him. "But I want you to admit it to yourself."

Soonyoung hesitates as you take a step closer towards him. "You're going to walk in here tomorrow and quit because you won't be able to get any sleep tonight." You tell him, your voice low, "Because the events of today will haunt you and eat away at you until you have no choice but to quit."

You take a few steps backwards, almost walking off when Soonyoung stops you.

"Why don't you just fire me then?" He says, his voice slightly bitter and low making your jaw clench.

"I'm trying to save you from the shame and ridicule, Officer Kwon." You bark out a curt laugh. "There is honour in resigning and realizing that you aren't up for this job. That this is just a walking mid-life crisis moment that will either get you or me killed." You spit out, walking closer to him before jabbing a finger into his chest. "Because if you get fired from this job, what's next, Kwon Soonyoung?"

You let the words sink in before shooting back more, "Go back to being an idol? Live a quiet life?" You spit out, venom lacing every word. "You will have nothing." You say, your tone hard and tense, before dropping your hand and shaking your head. "And haven't you been through enough of that for just one lifetime?"

Soonyoung doesn't reply you, opting to just stare at you with an unreadable expression on his face. "I figured." You mutter, taking a step back. "Goodnight, Kwon Soonyoung." You curtly say, "It was nice to meet you." With those words, you turn on your heel and walk away, leaving Soonyoung by himself to deal with the aftermath of your words.

REPORT 2 OF 546 - THE FIREBALL OF SECOND CHANCES

You feel a migraine coming on as soon as you walk into the locker room, slightly later than you normally would. Everyone had given you funny looks on the way in and you can't blame them, you look like straight death.

You didn't get as much sleep as you thought you would last night. You had gone home and locked yourself in your room, barely saying a word to Minghao who didn't say anything to you either, not that you expected him to. During your arguments or disagreements, there are always a few days of silence and no interactions between the two of you. Having grown up in the same household for majority of your adolescent to teenage years, you both realized that the best way to deal with fights or disagreements was to give each other space until one was ready to talk without wanting to throw something at the other.

This decision was made because the last time you and Minghao had tried to solve a fight, only a couple of hours after you had it, a few cups had broke from the pillows thrown across the room at each other. Minghao was always the calmer one of the two of you, keeping himself in check with his meditation and tea, which meant he would normally be the first to calm down and talk to you.

However, this time around, you are sure that Minghao is adamant on not speaking to you until you come to him first. Minghao had a couple of old rules that he used to ground himself with. One of them being that if you'd lie to him and cause a fight, he wouldn't be the one to break the silence.

You sigh, opening your locker before a frown makes it way onto your lips as an old picture of you and Minghao taken during your rookie days blatantly stares back at you, making you nearly slam your head into the locker door. You hold off on that sentiment though, opting to freshen yourself up before putting on your uniform and walking out the door. You walk to your desk to gather some paper work when you hear someone clearing their throat beside you. You look to your right to see Seungcheol standing there with his arms crossed in-front of his chest.

"Got a second, Nova?" He asks making you nod as he gestures you to follow him into his office, closing the door behind him after you enter. You stand with your hands behind your back as he stands in-front of you and accesses you for a beat, his eyes flitting around your face. "Rough night?" He asks making your eyes widen slightly before you mask it almost immediately by shaking your head.

"No, sir." You state, making Seungcheol's eyebrow raise before he goes to sit at his desk.

"Take a seat Nova, I have a few questions about the report that you submitted last night." A small 'Oh' escapes your mouth before you can stop it, making Seungcheol look at you, his gaze hard. "Would that be an issue?"

You awkwardly clear your throat. "No sir." You say, trying to make your tone as even as possible as you take a seat. "By all means, please ask away."

Seungcheol stares at you for a few seconds before placing two reports in-front of you, one being yours and the other being Minghao's. "When I was reading yours and Officer Xu's report last night, I couldn't help but notice a couple of discrepancies between the two of you." He raises a hand slightly, "Now, don't get me wrong, officers do have different ways of doing the incident report but the main incidents are normally the same, the only discrepancies being just the way they write it. Overall, the gist of the report doesn't change." He uses both hands to point at the report summary that you and Minghao had written. "The two of you however," He starts, his tone serious. "Seem to have different opinions on what actually happened in the house."

You feel your mouth dry up as you stare at the two different report summaries, running through a million thoughts in your head. When you were writing your summary last night, you had opted to not mention anything about Soonyoung's second panic attack or him leaving you to fight for yourself and just wrote that you had tried a different approach to put yourself in harms way instead of him.

Minghao, on the other-hand, had written the truth and nothing but the truth. He had written about how Soonyoung didn't fire a single shot at the suspect and did nothing to stop the misogynistic words coming out of the suspects mouth and had opted to do nothing while you were getting hurt. You continue to stare at the reports, not knowing what to say. Seungcheol sighs in frustration, "Nova." He starts, his serious tone making you peer up at him sheepishly, meeting his unamused face. "Did you or did you not intentionally lie on your report?"

You chew your bottom lip, "I may have exaggerated the truth slightly?" Is all your brain can come up with, making Seungcheol sigh as he presses two fingers at the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed.

"And why would you do that?" You keep quiet at that, making Seungcheol lock eyes with you as his jaw clenches slightly, "Well?" He asks, getting impatient which makes you sigh.

"Because if I had written that in the report, I would've been forced to wash him out." You mumble out, making Seungcheol's frown deepen even more.

"Instead you told him off last night outside the briefing room to try and get him to quit this morning." Seungcheol pieces together, making you nod. He stares at you in disbelief, leaving you to sputter out reassurances.

"On the bright side, I think he's coming to quit today and I need you to not stop him."

Seungcheol stares at you for a second longer before leaning back in his chair slightly. "Nova," He starts, a slight edge to his tone, stopping you in the middle of your ramble. "Did you purposely put yourself in danger so that you could get him to quit?"

Your eyes widen at Seungcheol's accusations. "What the hell?" You sputter out, unsure if you heard him right. "Are you seriously asking me if I risked my life to give Kwon Soonyoung a heart attack and get him to quit?" You ask, your tone strained as you give Seungcheol a once over in disbelief. "Do you really think I would do something like that?"

Seungcheol clicks his tongue as he eyes you carefully, as if he's calculating his words. "Given your explanation and how you risked everything yesterday after you promised both Officer Kim and Lee that you would call for backup, with you lying on your report, putting yourself in a situation when there were a hundred other ways to solve it given your training and adaptability…" Seungcheol trails off, shaking his head, "I don't know what to think, Nova. I've never seen you like this."

You feel your heart sink lower and lower into your stomach at every word that comes out of Seungcheol's mouth. He is right. You've never lied on a report, there were a hundred different ways you could have handled yesterday and you know because you ran through all the scenarios in your head. However, only one of them gave you the highest percentage of Kwon Soonyoung walking out and realizing that he wasn't cut out for this job.

You could've gone with Nova or yourself and you went with Nova. "Sarge." You say after finding your voice and resolve, "My job is on the line." You say, your voice strained, bitterness lacing every word. "I've had to work twice as hard as any other officer here, Seungcheol." Your eyes locking with the older man, "I have to make sure that every report is written to expectation, that every case I take is flawless because that was just the hand that was handed to be because of my gender, Sarge."

You let out a bitter laugh. "But because I am ruthless when I have to be, that I take no bullshit and train the rookies after me to be the best of the best especially if they're girls, I get handed a shitty hand because my wash out rate is too high." You take a shaky inhale of a breath, feeling your chest tighten. "So, if Kwon Soonyoung walks in here with the intention to quit today, I beg of you to please let him." You say, your voice softer than it has been since you had entered the office. "I need this, Seungcheol, more than anything."

Seungcheol stares at you, his expression softening from what it was a few moments ago. His heart aches for you. Of course he knows that you had worked harder for than anyone else for this opportunity. It was evident when he had met you on that first day of the academy. You, bright-eyed, nudging Minghao at every single relic or clipping that was on the wall, ecstatic and not believing that you were finally here.

He remembers all the boys mocking you behind your back as they watched you that first day, how you were the only girl in the class which automatically put you at the bottom of the food chain without even giving you a chance. However, his favourite moment from that was how you proved all those boys wrong that very day in combat class. You had gone against every single one of those assholes and flipped them over as if they weighed nothing, effectively knocking out more than just the wind in their lungs and the smug smiles on their faces.

You had also effectively knocked out everyone's perspective of you, replacing it with the hard determination on your face as you looked around the room, an eyebrow raised as you wondered aloud who wanted to go next. He was so glad that he decided to take the assistant teaching role for that class because he hasn't seen something as amazing as that before then. Now, as he stares at you, that memory at the back of his mind, he sees the same girl with the same quiet resolve. Except, now, it is slowly breaking before his eyes. The girl, who made everyone jump out of their skin at just the thought of her, was looking at him as if she was about to lose everything, just because of a bad dice roll that was handed to her.

There is only one right choice.

He calls out your name softly, grounding you slightly as you continue to stare at him as he studies you for a beat. "If he does step into my office to quit," Seungcheol lets out a slow exhale, "I will let him."

You feel your heart skip a beat at his words, your eyes widening as you open your mouth to thank him. He holds out a hand, stopping you.

"However, if he does not quit today, or any other day, I need you to promise me that you won't treat him as if he's some lost case, Nova." He says sternly, his eyes boring into yours with a fiery look in them, "Because if he's as stubborn as you, Nova, the minute you give the guy an expiration date, he will try his very best to prove to you that he's worth it which will lead to stupid and reckless decisions."

He glances down at the reports on the table before flitting his eyes back to yours. "And I think one case filled with stupid and reckless decisions during the first month of his probation is enough, don't you think?"

You swallow at the intensity of Seungcheol's words as you slowly nod, still digesting them slightly. Seungcheol gives you an unreadable look, "He had top scores at the academy for a reason, Nova. If you give him the proper training instead of throwing him into the deep end of your cases, he will definitely get over this mental block that is stopping you from turning him into the best rookie that you've ever trained."

He lowers his voice down to a whisper, "Remember what it was like to be in his shoes, Nova."

You feel your heart in your throat as you digest his words. Seungcheol looks out to the right of his office and whatever he sees makes one of his eyebrows raise making you blink at him, slightly confused.

"Looks like you have your work cut out for you, Nova." He says softly, his eyes never leaving the sight. You whip your head to the left, eyebrows furrowing at his words before your eyes widen at what's in front of you.

Because Kwon Soonyoung is standing there, grabbing the war bags and talking to the logistics people as if your ultimatum yesterday meant absolutely nothing to the man. He has a neutral expression on his face, wearing his rookie uniform as he taps his fingers against the desk, waiting for the rest of the equipment, and you feel your heart drop slightly.

"Well," Seungcheol says, getting your attention back to him as he takes the paperwork from you. "I'll help you and Xu adjust the inconsistencies in your reports." He glances up at you, his eyes glinting, a small smile on his face, "Get out there and make good on your promise."

You can't help but let yourself gawk at the man in front of you as he shoos you out of his office. "You're dismissed." He simply says, pushing you out and closing the door behind you as the blinds knock against the glass door.

You internally curse at the older man before turning to face your thirteenth reason why, who has just placed the body-cam over his uniform and turned it on as you taught him the day before. You storm up to him, the words already on your tongue before your mind could process them.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Kwon Soonyoung?"

Soonyoung turns and lock eyes with you, his expression unchanging even as you storm up to him, looking at him as if he should be anywhere but here.

"Ma'am." He greets, utterly ignoring your words from before as your eyes narrow on his. "Don't 'Ma'am' me, Boot. Didn't I specifically tell you what would happen to you if you didn't turn in your papers?" You spit out, venom lacing every word.

"Then cut me." Soonyoung replies, without wasting a single beat, his answer resonating in your mind as his tone cut through your venomous one. He is filled with determination as he stares at you. You stare at him, pressing your tongue to the edge of your cheek as he levels you with his determined gaze, "I know you think I'm some privileged train wreck that sued his way into this department just because he wanted to play dress up, but I'm not." He says firmly.

"I'm here because I have to do this," He says, his voice never wavering, his expression not changing, "Because I can't live with myself if anyone else goes through the same thing that I have."

You stare at him, feeling your blood boil slightly as his selfless nature shines through his words. You bite the inside of your cheek, letting out a small groan as you look towards the older man, whose eyes you can feel, burning holes in the back of your head.

Seungcheol looks at you, his eyes glinting slightly and a small smile on his face before he shrugs his shoulders after you fix him with a silent glare. There's a debate happening inside you, your Nova persona fighting your true self, before you sigh internally and face your rookie. Letting yourself study him for a beat, you wonder if he just made this decision on a whim.

You internally curse when you realize how well-rested he looks compared to you, debating whether you did the right thing. Not that he knows that, of course. You pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes, "Alright, Boot." You grit out through your teeth before you fix him with a hard expression, "If you're that committed to making me give you hell, I might as well make sure you can walk through fire."

You visibly see Soonyoung's posture relax as you narrow your eyes. "I just hope you aren't scared of getting burned." His eyes flit around your face before giving you a curt nod. "If that's what it takes to get you to believe me," he starts, "I'll gladly take every fireball you throw my way."

You scoff at his words, watching a small smile appear on his face, his serious facade breaking slightly as you resist the urge to roll your eyes, "Go set up our shop then, Boot." You say, nudging your finger in the direction of the police lot, "Don't make me regret this."

He gives you a wider smile, the serious facade fading into something more him which made your heart crawl its way into your throat as you wonder what you had just signed yourself up for as he levels your gaze, "Yes, Ma'am."

REPORT 14 OF 546 - THE MOTOR POOL HIT

When Soonyoung had agreed to get through every fire filled obstacle you were determined to throw his way, he didn't actually think he would succeed. Whether it was by sheer dumb luck or some kind of determination, he would never know.

You had put him as the primary for every single call that the two of you took, meaning that he was the one making every decision and dealing with every single consequence. It had been smooth sailing so far, you actually giving him the chance to prove himself — although, you looked like you wanted to slam your head against the wall every time he made a mistake.

Again, whether it was by sheer dumb luck or some kind of grace by God himself, he made it through, with only a couple of parking misdemeanors, some minor drug cases and only one homicide case that was closed shut pretty fast with the help of Vernon and Minghao.

Yep, just typical two weeks as a police officer.

Truth be told, he had thought about quitting the second he had made his way into the apartment and collapsed, sprawled out face-down onto the couch. The events of the day kept replaying like an annoying b-list movie he couldn't get rid of.

Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you.

He shifts on the couch, closing his eyes as he took deep breaths like his therapist had told him.

Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you.

Deep breath in. Three gunshots. Deep breath out. Dead body. He feels his breathing start to quicken. Panic attack. He inhales a shaky breath. Bursting through the door. He exhales, lesser than he should've. More gunshots. He feels his heart start to pick up. You on the floor. He tries to stabilize his breathing as his body starts to shake. The guy standing over you, gun in his hand. He lets out a shaky breath, a sob on the tip of his tongue as it keeps replaying.

Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breathe in) Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breathe out) Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breathe in) Three gunshots, dead body, panic attack. Bursting through the door, more gunshots, you on the floor with the guy standing over you. (Breath out)

He feels his body start to shut down as everything around him muffles, his brain deciding to take a different turn, changing to the day his hands were stained red as he presses his palms over his ears, hearing everything and nothing. He doesn't know how long his spiral lasts for because when he snaps out of it, he is sitting on the floor instead of the couch, his knees tucked to his chest. Another development was that Jeonghan is there, clutching onto him like he is his lifeline as his eyes flit around Soonyoung's face, concern etched in them.

"Breathe, Hoshi." Jeonghan says, his voice cracking slightly as he notices the haze behind Soonyoung's eyes starting to fade. "I'm here." He voices out softly, running his hands up and down Soonyoung's arms.

Soonyoung takes in Jeonghan's appearance, noticing that he is still in his suit while his briefcase is beside him, looking as if it was tossed haphazardly. He had just come home, which meant that Soonyoung has been sitting here for nearly an hour, in his own spiral.

He feels Jeonghan get up and walk to the counter, but not before whispering to Soonyoung that he would be right back. A beat passes before he feels a tissue being dabbed around the corners of his eyes. Soonyoung was so in his head that he didn't realize his face was wet, his eyes swollen and he's been crying for the better part of his hour spiral.

The two sit in silence, the only noises breaking it being Soonyoung's sniffles and Jeonghan's small reassuring words of comfort that slowly ground him back to earth. Half an hour later, Soonyoung finds himself on their couch; fresh pizza and soft drinks on the table and Jeonghan by his side, flicking through Netflix, the two not saying a word to each other. Soonyoung watches Jeonghan flick through the channels, a little confused as to why he hasn't said anything until it lands on one of their favourite shows. Jeonghan clicks on it before opening the pizza box and fishing a slice out onto their disposable plates and passing it to Soonyoung without missing a beat.

Soonyoung finds himself staring at the plate, outstretched in Jeonghan's hand as he gnaws at his bottom lip. Jeonghan click his tongue, making Soonyoung look up at the older man who has an eyebrow raised. "Take the plate, Hoshi," Jeonghan says, reading Soonyoung almost immediately as he orders him to take it with a deadpanned tone. "My arm's getting tired."

Soonyoung resists the urge to hesitate even more, noticing Jeonghan's expression and takes the plate with a soft 'thank you'. Jeonghan scoops a piece of pizza for himself as the movie plays softly in the background, white noise as Soonyoung chews slowly on his pizza.

He eyes Jeonghan, who has his gaze fixed on the television screen, concentrating on the scene playing out as if they hadn't seen the movie over a thousand times together and could recite it word for word ever since they were young.

"Staring is impolite, you know." Jeonghan states, his gaze unmoving from the screen as Soonyoung jumps slightly at his voice. Jeonghan takes a bite of his pizza as Soonyoung blurts out the first thing on his mind. "You aren't going to ask?"

Jeonghan pauses mid-chew for five seconds, digesting his words before swallowing his food, turning to look at the blonde haired male with an unreadable expression on his face. "Are you going to tell me the truth if I do?" The dark haired male asks, setting the plate down onto his lap.

Soonyoung feels his heart rate pick up slightly, nervous at the expression on Jeonghan's face. Having grown up with Jeonghan, Soonyoung has gotten used to being able to read the older man whose habits hadn't changed one bit. However, Soonyoung forgets that Jeonghan also has one of the best poker faces known to mankind. One of the most needed points to be a good lawyer.

He studies Jeonghan for a second more, prolonging the inevitable to see if Jeonghan would break his facade slightly. When it seems like the poker face has decided to prevail, Soonyoung sighs before giving in, spilling everything to him.

Jeonghan sits there, not interrupting once as Soonyoung recalls all the information from the day, his voice cracking and wavering every time he mentions something that he did wrong. He feels a sob in his throat as he remembers what happened when he got home, telling him about his spiral as well as Seoyeon.

When Soonyoung finishes, his throat aches for water, his lungs gasping slightly for air as he stares at his cold half-eaten pizza on his lap. The room is quiet, the only noises coming from the television as Soonyoung gnaws on the inside of his cheek, awaiting Jeonghan's response. "Hoshi."

Soonyoung peers up at the older man slowly, the gentle tone of his voice paired with the nickname making Soonyoung's heart clench slightly. As soon as he locks eyes with the black haired man, his breath catches as he sees Jeonghan's eyes fill with tears.

"Hyung…" Soonyoung starts, speechless. Since they were young, he had only seen Jeonghan cry twice in his life. The day his pet rock went missing when he was seven — which they had found moments later underneath a pile of his clothes — and when Jeonghan had placed first during the bar exam. Never did Soonyoung expect Jeonghan to cry about this.

"Why are you crying?" Soonyoung asks, placing the plate on the table as he scoots closer to Jeonghan, who cleans the stray tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"I'm sorry for not noticing how bad your panic attacks are," Jeonghan said, placing his own plate on the table before fully turning to face Soonyoung, "I should've pushed harder for you to start next week instead." Soonyoung shakes his head immediately, "Stop that." Soonyoung chastised softly, "This isn't your fault, hyung. I needed to go and experience this today even though it fucking sucks like hell." He said, joking lightly, which makes Jeonghan let out a small watery laugh.

Soonyoung softens slightly, "I needed to do this, hyung, and honestly, no matter if I went this week or next week, the outcome would've been the same." He says, taking a shaky inhale, "I didn't think of how badly that night would affect me out on the street today."

They stay silent for a few moments, slowly digesting the different words said before Soonyoung sighs. "I need to find a way to get over that night."

"I think…" Jeonghan starts, hesitating slightly as his tongue darts out to swipe over his lip, "You need to forgive yourself first for what happened that night."

Soonyoung feels his heart lurch and the breath getting knocked out of his lungs at Jeonghan's words.

"It wasn't your fault, Hoshi." Jeonghan says gently, observing how Soonyoung had stilled. "You being twenty minutes late for that meetup had nothing to do with her death."

"But I could've stopped the guy." Soonyoung mutters out, making Jeonghan shake his head. "Or you could've died." "But-" "No." Jeonghan interrupts sternly, effectively shutting the younger man up. "Hoshi, you need to stop blaming yourself for the things that you can't control. So what if you were twenty minutes late that day, it wouldn't have stopped the person from executing their plan and killing her." His voice softens, "No matter how much we try to theorize how it would go, we can't know, Hoshi, and it really fucking sucks that we can't, but the important thing is that what we do after that." Jeonghan shifts on the couch, staring dead into Soonyoung's eyes before lifting up a finger. "Do we let the 'what ifs' stunt our growth or," He lifts up a second finger, "do we turn those 'what ifs' into new things for us to do, for us to continue to live for her?" Soonyoung feels his throat slowly close up at the words of his oldest friend, them sinking in harder that he thought they would. "We can't change the past, Hoshi." Jeonghan says softly, dropping his hands onto his lap, "but we can damn well make something of the present that will impact the future."

Soonyoung stares at Jeonghan, "No wonder you became a hot-shot lawyer," Soonyoung finds himself blurting out before his mind has a chance to catch up. Jeonghan blinks at the man, his eyes slightly wide in surprise before he lets out a snort.

"Only you would think to say that after the amazing speech I gave." Jeonghan says, shaking his head as he scoots backwards, away from Soonyoung. "That last line was really cheesy man, even you gotta admit that." "Fuck you," Jeonghan says, with no actual malice as Soonyoung lets out a snicker, "Last time I ever give you advice."

Soonyoung teasingly hums at that. "I don't think so… you love me too much to ever stop giving your old grandfatherly wisdom."

Soonyoung feels the pillow collide with his face before he could even see Jeonghan reach for it. Soonyoung sputters for a second, his back hitting the couch as Jeonghan laughs, a smirk on his face. "How's that for grandfatherly wisdom?"

Soonyoung rolls his eyes at the older mans antics, about to retort when Jeonghan asks, "So, what about the ultimatum?"

Soonyoung blinks at the man, his mouth suddenly drying up, "I don't know." Soonyoung answers honestly, "Maybe I'm not as cut out for the job as I think."

Jeonghan shakes his head at that, "That's bullshit, Hosh." Jeonghan says, his tone slightly deadpanned. Soonyoung shakes his head, about to retort but Jeonghan interrupts him once again. "Ignoring the fact that I haven't seen you this passionate about something in a long time, the fact that you were worried about it and that you keep thinking about it proves that you are cut out for this, Hoshi. If you didn't want it this much, you wouldn't have even tried as hard as you did today." Jeonghan's eyes glinted with a fiery glaze, "And that counts for something." He finishes firmly, making Soonyoung gnaw on the inside of his cheek.

"If you call it quits now, you're also proving this Nova lady or whatever right." Jeonghan narrows his eyes slightly at Soonyoung, "And I know you won't just let her psych you out into quitting, you're way too stubborn for that." Soonyoung scoffs, Jeonghan's words rolling about in his brain, making him take a step back and access the whole situation. "You're right." Soonyoung softly breaths out, "I need to do this." Jeonghan lets a small soft smile appear on his lips, "Atta boy." Jeonghan whispers out, resting his hand on Soonyoung's shoulder. "Thank you." Soonyoung says, his voice barely above a whisper, "For reminding me."

Jeonghan shrugs, "No worries." He hesitates for a second, a mischievous ghost of a smile on his lips, making Soonyoung raise an eyebrow, "If you really want to say 'thank you' though," Jeonghan clicks his tongue. "I accept cash and credit."

Soonyoung scoffs again before launching the forgotten pillow into Jeonghan's face, making the older man yelp in surprise as his back hits the edge of the couch, causing the boy to nearly fall off it. Soonyoung laughs. "Watch out, tiger boy," Jeonghan mutters out before bashing his friend in the head with another pillow. "Officer Kwon." Soonyoung snaps out of it when a snap appears in front of his face, clicking at him impatiently and making him look up to lock eyes with the watch commander.

"In another world, aren't you, Officer Kwon?" Seungcheol asks, his eyebrow raised as he locks eyes with Soonyoung, making some of the P2 officers snicker. Soonyoung clears his throat, "No, sir." He says, feeling a flush rise up from the back of his neck, "Was just thinking about how wonderful you look this morning."

Seungcheol's eyes narrow at his words, twitching slightly which makes Soonyoung give him an awkward smile. Seungcheol sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Soonyoung takes the opportunity to glance at you and the other training officers. Mingyu and Seokmin are sitting side-by-side, giggling under the palms of their hands. Minghao has a small smirk on his face while you look like you are planning his funeral.

Upon meeting your eyes, glinting with that fiery spirit of yours, Soonyoung opts to stare back at the front and wait for Seungcheol to bite his head off instead. Anything was better than meeting that medusa gaze of yours. He internally shudders at the thought.

"Glad seeing me makes your morning, Officer Kwon." Seungcheol finally deadpans. "I can't give you the same sentiment though for being a major pain in my ass for the amount of paperwork on my desk because of your little incident last week." Soonyoung winces, remembering the incident before the pictures appear on the screen in front for the whole briefing room to see.

"Not one, not two, but three totaled police shops in a span of a week." Seungcheol announces, clicking through the different photos where Soonyoung had driven into a storefront, a hydrant, and off the side of a building respectively.

"In my defense, sir," Soonyoung starts sheepishly, pointing to the last photo where the shop had landed at the bottom of a 10-foot tall building, "Officer Nova and I didn't see the ambush coming during our stakeout." "And the person who created the word, rolls happily in their grave."

Soonyoung hears Seungkwan and Chan let out a quiet snicker beside him, making him internally sigh as he resists the urge to glare at them while Sergeant Choi continues to glare at him. He can also hear Mingyu let out a laugh before covering it with a cough as he hears you sigh, no doubt with your eyes closed as you grimace at the rookie. A look that Soonyoung has seen one too many times during the two weeks of being your rookie.

"The motor pool have decided to put a hit on you if you destroy the next one that they're giving to you today." Seungcheol states, turning the presentation off and giving Soonyoung a stern look, "And their punishment is going to be worse than whatever you're conjuring up in your head at the moment." Soonyoung gives Seungcheol another sheepish smile before murmuring out. "Understood, sir."

Seungcheol stares at Soonyoung for another beat before walking back to the stand in the middle of the room. "Alright," Seungcheol says, clapping his hands together. "Do some good work out there."

A few murmurs fill the room before the scrapping of chairs ring out as everyone moves out of the room. Soonyoung takes a shaky inhale before standing up and turning to face you, already behind his chair with your arms crossed, making him jump. "Jesus." Soonyoung gasps, placing his hand on his chest as you raise an eyebrow at him, a ghost of a smirk on your face. "How did you get here?"

"I walked, Riot." You say, your eyes glinting slightly with amusement. "Something that you would need to start doing if you wreck the new shop today." "Which won't happen." Soonyoung chirps out, more confident than what you are used to, making you roll your eyes.

"And you wonder why your nickname is still Riot." You deadpan out before walking out of the briefing room. "Shop ready in 5, Officer Kwon." You call out, raising your hand, all five fingers pointing upwards. "I need to start with a cup of oolong tea if you decide to Mission Impossible our car again." "Thank you for the vote of confidence." Soonyoung mutters to himself before scurrying out of the briefing room to get the war bags.

You decided to let Soonyoung drive as sort of a peace offering after the first two days of hell training you had put him through. You were always the one with your hands on the wheels but after a few talks with Mingyu and Seokmin about easing off of him a little, you decided to change your tactics slightly. Unconventional rookie means unconventional approaches, right?

Which is why during the start of the second week, to switch it up, you let him drive for the whole week — which lead to the mess of the second week.

Given the track record, Soonyoung expected you to take the wheel again after the disastrous week he had behind the wheel. Which is exactly why his expression right now is comparable to a fish out of water as he sees you slide into shotgun with your fresh cup of pipping hot oolong tea.

Seungkwan, who was walking past with his own war bags in hand, stops by Soonyoung's side. "You're going to catch flies." He states, almost monotonous but with an edge of amusement that makes Soonyoung snap his mouth shut. "What's with the face?"

"She's sitting in shotgun." Soonyoung simply states, before scurrying to the drivers seat as you meet his gaze through the side-view mirror, eyebrows raised as if to ask, 'What are you waiting for' or 'Get the fuck in before I plan your funeral'. He hopes it's the former and not the latter because you're still hard to read.

Seungkwan looks over at you in shotgun where you meet his eye, your medusa gaze making him pale as Vernon and Chan walk up to his side. "Why do you look like a ghost?" Vernon asks, eyeing his best friend up and down as he watches Seungkwan swallow uneasily. "Just got reminded of why she's medusa is all." Soonyoung hears Chan's snort before climbing into the vehicle which blocks out the remainder of their conversation. "Having fun?" You snark out, taking a sip of the tea in your hand. "No, just thinking of whether you have nine lives since you're letting me drive again." Soonyoung states, his mouth moving before his brain even has a chance to process what he is saying. You pause mid-sip to meet his eyes, narrowing slightly, "Are you comparing me to a cat, Officer Kwon?" You ask, your voice low and dangerous. Soonyoung curses internally, shaking his head quickly.

"Maybe more of a panther instead of a cat, Ma'am." Soonyoung says, once again without thinking as he digs himself further into the metaphorical hole. He curses again. He really needs to stop doing that. He watches your eyes narrow even more, your lips pursed as he awaits for you to bite his head off.

"Boot." Soonyoung hesitates. "Yeah?" "I think you better start driving before you say something else that makes me push you out of the shop at max speed." "… Yes Ma'am."

"A couple of misdemeanors before lunch can only mean one thing," Chan starts, taking a seat in between Soonyoung and Vernon, placing down his tray of food. "We're about to have the worst second shift."

Soonyoung visibly grimaces at Chan's words. "Now, why would you say the forbidden words?" Seungkwan hisses out at Chan, who looks like he is all but contemplating flinging his half-eaten bowl of caesar salad at the younger boy.

"If the second half of our shit sucks, it's all because of you," Vernon deadpans out, pointing his fork at the younger boy and causing Chan shrink slightly in his seat. Soonyoung glances at Chan, "Have we not learned our lesson from the last time the forbidden words were said?"

The last time was referring to just a week ago when the ambush happened, which nearly caused the demise of himself and the academies best. If it wasn't for your quick thinking of climbing out through the back, switching places with the war bags to climb out of the boot, he would actually have been a pancake in a grave right about now.

"To be fair," Chan states as he glances at each of his fellow rookies, swallowing slightly at their expressions. "It wasn't like anything too bad happened." Soonyoung resists the urge to push Chan's face into his lunch as Seungkwan's eye twitches slightly and Vernon shakes his head before returning to his lunch, muttering under his breath.

On the other side of the seating area, Mingyu and Seokmin are having the time of their lives, teasing you for whatever had happened during roll call this morning. You try to resist the urge to shove their lunches in their faces. The keyword being try. Because a couple of seconds later, they are cleaning their faces with a few wet tissues that Seokmin grabbed from the counter after you decided to push both their heads into their lunches.

"That wasn't very nice." Mingyu whines out as he cleans the pasta sauce off of his face, making you snort. "And constantly making fun of me and my rookie is?" You pointedly quip back, taking a bite of your lunch. "We were just playing around." Mingyu says, his pout deepening, "You normally like our jokes." "They just aren't funny today, Gyu." You snap back making Seokmin frown at you, as you didn't bother to meet their eyes. You peer upwards to see Minghao sitting alone, two tables over, his earbuds in as he eats his lunch, making you grimace more.

Seokmin and Mingyu share a look, understanding the reason for your mood immediately. "Well, I'm gonna bother your dear brother with my jokes if you aren't in the mood for them today." Mingyu says, picking up his tray rather abruptly. You frown, feeling guilty for snapping at the older man. "I'm sorry." You say quietly, making Mingyu shake his head, a small sympathetic smile on his face. "Don't be," He reassures quietly. "I'm just keeping him company." You offer a small smile back before he leaves, walking to Minghao's table. He shoves Minghao hard, letting out a hearty laugh as Minghao scowls at the taller male and they start to bicker. You watch them fondly before looking towards Seokmin who grabs your hand and starts to trace circles on them with his thumb.

"You guys still haven't talked to each other, huh?" Seokmin asks, the question rhetorical seeing as how he already knows that from how far apart you and Minghao have been sitting at the morning briefings since that day.

However, you nod all the same, "Longest we've ever gone without speaking to each other." You whisper out, eyeing your older brother again. He seems to have gotten into an easy conversation with Mingyu. "Comparable with the time that I accidentally sold him out during our year at the academy."

Seokmin winces at that, remembering the 'Minghao Ice Out' as he and Mingyu referred it to when the two of you weren't around. It was the worst fight the two of you ever had. You had accidentally thrown Minghao under the bus for a mistake the two of you committed in the first month at the academy, causing the two of you to fail the given assignment.

You were brazen and left his side while he executed the wrong strategy compared to what the two of you had discussed beforehand. It was a mess and it ended up with both of you getting the worst punishments of your lives, leaving both of you fractured, in more ways than one. That held the record for the most number of days that you and Minghao had no contact, which was 14 days. The two of you only talked through texts or through your best friends, who were getting sick of playing messenger at that point. Who broke first? Mingyu and Seokmin did.

They locked the two of you in their kitchen and told you guys to fight it out and resolve it before they would even consider letting you two out. So, you and Minghao sat there for almost eight hours until you broke first, asking him if he was hungry. With full bellies and a lot of unspoken guilt, the two of you worked it out.

However, you doubt that it would happen again this time around, seeing as Minghao hasn't said a word to you nor does he wait for you to leave the house, taking night shifts sometimes to avoid you on your days off. On the days that you both had the day off, he would leave the house early in the morning while you were out for your run or in the shower with his laptop and study materials for the detectives exam, opting to study at the library instead of at home just to avoid you.

You even tried to change it up a few times, just so that the two of you would end up in the house at the same time, but he always managed to maneuver your workarounds. Curse you for either being so predictable or curse Minghao for knowing your habits so well because of how observant he is. The silence was driving you insane, but you were too stubbornly set in your way to not tell Minghao everything that was going on.

"I'm not going to force you to tell me what's going on with you, Nova." Seokmin says gently, continuing the circling on his thumb on your hand. "Nor are Mingyu and I going to force the two of you into a room to work it out, we aren't in our early twenties anymore where that would work." He jokes lightly, bringing a small smile to your face.

"But," Seokmin starts, locking eyes with you, concern etched in every part, "When you and Minghao had that fight ages ago, two weeks before your training officer exam, Minghao could see how worried you were and swallowed his ego just because he wanted you to be okay for the exam, despite whether or not it was his fault or yours."

You chew lightly on your bottom lip, remembering that fight. "His detectives exam is in two days, Nova, and whether you can see it or not, this fight is wearing him down as well." Seokmin admits, gesturing for you to look at Minghao. You turn to look at him, like really look at him. Minghao, whose hair was just a little more unkept. Minghao, who looks a little paler and skinnier, as if he had been skipping meals. Minghao, who you didn't realize had dark rings under his eyes, whose legs were shaking nonstop — which almost never happens because he has chastised you more than once for that bad habit. Your heart sinks. Seokmin is right.

"He needs you, Nova." Seokmin whispers out, the two of you still looking at the man sitting next to Mingyu, who looks like they are having a deep conversation as well. "He feels guilty for yelling at you, but he only said all those things because he cares about you. You know at the bottom of your heart that it's not his fault. Not this time."

Seokmin glances at his watch before giving your hand a squeeze and letting go. "Think about it." He says gently before giving you a squeeze on your shoulder as he goes to round up his rookie. You stand up, clearing your trash before feeling a pair of eyes on you. You turn to see Minghao staring at you, his lips pursed as he eyes you up and down.

You study him for a beat before giving him a small, weak smile and a nod. Minghao's eyes widen, just a fraction before he gives you a small nod and walks away with Mingyu and their rookies behind them, leaving you feeling emptier than when you had started lunch. "Ma'am?" Soonyoung queries, appearing by your side and making you push all your emotions to the side so you can compose yourself, turning to him with your faux determination. "Let's roll out, Boot."

Soonyoung swears that you haven't been this quiet and deep in thought since his first two days on the job. After walking in and somehow, convincing you to let him stay, your personality had gone full Nova.

You were snarky, witty, and you were the definition of the medusa drill sergeant he's heard about during his early days at the academy with the other three rookies. So, when it takes a turn and you don't quip back at his dumb comments, he knows that something is wrong.

"Are you and Officer Xu fighting?" He finds himself asking as he takes a turn from downtown to a more neighborhood part of the city. He watches you freeze slightly — almost unnoticeable — before you compose yourself and narrow your gaze onto him.

"And that's your business because?"

Soonyoung bites his bottom lip, wondering if he should prod even further. But when he thinks about it, he's already asked the question and you haven't bitten his head off so maybe this ishis chance to prod even further.

"It's just that the two of you hadn't had lunch together or sat next to each other once in the last two weeks since… that day." He says, his voice a little soft, periodically glancing at you as to still keep his eyes on the road. "Vernon also asked me just now during lunch and he said that he brought it up with Xu but he just shot it down to just the two of you having differing opinions on something." Soonyoung glances at you again, a slightly longer one this time to find you deep in thought, digesting his words. "I was also wondering…" He starts, hesitating slightly as he purses his lips, "If the differing opinions was me?" He asks, his voice soft with an edge of guilt.

He awaits your response, fully expecting you to tell him to 'Shut the fuck up' or that it was 'None of his business' but instead you sigh, as if you were too tired for all those unpleasantries today. "We're just having a disagreement on a personal matter, Boot." You simply state, opting to look out at the window to avoid Soonyoung's careful glances. "Nothing about you and nothing to concern yourself with."

Soonyoung bites his tongue, wondering if he should argue back. He decides against it, giving you a nod, even though you aren't looking at him. "Yes, Ma'am." He states, giving you a full glance. "But, if you ever need someone to talk to about older siblings, I might have a few tidbits to share myself."

That has you glancing back at the blonde haired man, "You have siblings?" You ask, your eyebrow raised, making him nod. "One older sister and a younger sister." He chirps out. He keeps a hand on the steering wheel as he uses his free one to pull out his personal phone from his side pocket, while his eyes are still on the road. He throws it at you, giving his password almost immediately, which makes you narrow your eyes at how trusting this guy is as he is urging you to go to his liked photos. Staring back at you is a picture of his family having a family dinner as Soonyoung holds onto a small brown Norwich Terrier.

"… Did you just call your dog your younger sister?" You ask, glancing towards the man as he nods furiously.

"Of course," He states, not noticing your bewildered expression. "Latte is a very beloved 'Kwon' family member if I do say so myself." He says, pride etched in his tone. "She also sits with us and eats with us every night." "… You're talking about the dog…" Soonyoung once again nods furiously despite the bewildered tone you are using.

"We also have fights!" Soonyoung provides, making your expression turn even more amused. "She barked at me the other day for not letting her eat the last of my galbi. She wouldn't come and cuddle me that whole day too." Soonyoung all but whines out with a small little pout on his face, recalling the memory from just over the weekend. "She also eats my slippers sometimes." He adds, shaking his head at the thought, "We feed her so many nice things, yet she still chooses to eat my slippers."

The laugh you let out surprises not only Soonyoung, but yourself as you try to stifle it back to get your Nova Training Officer mode back. Soonyoung stares at you, wide eyed, as you try to hide your smile behind your palm, looking away from him. An expression unlike the ones he's usually the cause of which makes his heart skip a beat slightly as he realizes how pretty you actually look when you laugh.

He had noticed it before, he wasn't blind of course. But he was never the one who caused it. It was always brought out by either Mingyu or Seokmin, once even Jun. But somehow, hearing your laugh come after something stupid he said or did, just sounds a hundred times sweeter.

He smiles at you softly without even realizing it as you clear your throat, flushing a little under his new intense gaze. "You're quite the character, Officer Kwon." You say, clearing your throat again as you cough, trying not to smile as his words keep playing in your head. "A little weird if you ask me."

Soonyoung scoffs slightly, a small smirk on his face. "Weird enough to make you laugh," He teases lightly, making you roll your eyes. "Because you said some stupid shit." "Stupid shit that still made you laugh, Officer Medusa."

You roll your eyes, "Don't push it, Riot." You warn, hoping your voice has actual malice in it. He fully turns to you, a small, mischievous glint in his eyes. "Yes, Ma'am." He says, a small triumphant grin on his face. The expression makes you roll your eyes, about to chastise him, when a blur of movement appears from the corner of your eye.

Your eyes widen as you watch a person run in-front of the shop, "Look out!" You call out, urgency in your voice as Soonyoung fully steps down on the brakes, screeching slightly but not before hitting the person, cracking a little bit of the windscreen. The two of you immediately slide out of the car and rush to the person's side to see a female in her early twenties lying on the ground. "Ma'am!" Soonyoung calls out, his voice loud with panic as some passerbys try to take a peek of what's happening, "Are you alright?" The girl, who looks like she's been crying, grips hard onto Soonyoung's arm as he tries to get her to sit upright to examine her.

You pull out your walkie immediately, "Control, this is 7-Adam-21, requesting an R.A for a female, early twenties, struck by a car. Sent to our location at," You pause, taking a look around before noticing a street sign, "15 Jameson Avenue." There is some static before a small murmur of 'Copy' comes through, making you stash your walkie.

"Ma'am." Soonyoung calls out to you, his slightly strained tone making you look at him as he holds up her wrist, "She has duct tape on her wrist."

Your heart sinks as your eyes widen at the realization, seeing the gray wraps around her wrist, worn and a little strewn out, making the gears in your head move. She has been abducted by someone.

Soonyoung peers back down at the crying girl, examining her. She has some cuts on her face, some dried blood on her hands and face, making his face turn into one of grimace as she begins to claw at his uniform.

"Please don't let him get to me!" She screams out through her sobs as she looks at Soonyoung with pleading eyes. "Please don't let him take me!" She wails out, "Please don't let him take me again!"

Soonyoung purses his lips, his eyes wide filled with concern, "Who?" He asks repeatedly as you feel your blood run cold as you eye her semi-bloodied and dirty clothes, your mouth getting dry as she keeps screaming intelligibly and saying a mixture of words at once. Soonyoung internally curses at the sight, only one thought going through his mind. Chan just had to say the words to make the second shift flip.

Even after being an officer for the past few years, you don't think you could ever get over the sounds of the BP monitors and the rushing of doctors around the room as you and Soonyoung rush the bed down the hallway to get her to a secure room. The doctors soon took over as the girl kept clawing at Soonyoung's arm, not wanting to let him go as she kept wailing and screaming.

"Dilated pupils." One of the doctors calls out as the other nurse hooks her up to the heartbeat monitor.

You watch as Soonyoung tries his best to soothe the girl, who you can tell is in shock and heavily drugged, "Shh," he keeps whispering to her as he holds her hand that is gripped tightly to his. "It's okay, you're safe."

She keeps crying as you stand beside Soonyoung, not wanting to crowd her before she starts to mutter out some tangible words. "Tara." She mutters out, her eyes slightly dazed yet focused on whatever is running through her head. "Tara." You frown at her words, once was a coincidence but twice is a pattern.

"Who's Tara?" You whisper out to her, reaching for her free hand as she tries to steady her gaze on you. She mutters out the other girls name one more time, seemingly still out of it before the doctors turn to you and Soonyoung, her eyes wide and stern. "You guys need to leave so we can treat her."

"What?" Soonyoung starts, opening his mouth to argue until you grab his wrist, squeezing it to say that it isn't the time as you notice the doctor's stern and alarmed gaze. "Let's go, Boot." You mutter out to him, shooting him a small glance. He purses his lips, wrestling with the decision of whether to argue with you or not before deciding the latter and just gives you a small nod. "You okay?" You ask him softly as he looks at the floor, each of his steps heavy with thoughts. "No." He answers honestly, "I hope it doesn't get worse than this though."

You open your mouth to reassure him when you hear someone clear their throat in-front of the two of you. You and Soonyoung turn to see Seungcheol there with his arms crossed. "Clearly you misinterpreted my words on the motor pools hit," Seungcheol says, standing in-front of Soonyoung, "Because hitting civilians was definitely the complete opposite of what I was advocating for with that presentation this morning."

"Sarge," You say, stepping between him and Soonyoung, your tone serious as he refocuses his gaze on you, "It wasn't Officer Kwon's fault." You defend, "She ran in front of our shop and Officer Kwon didn't have any time to react." You say softly, locking your fiery gaze with Seungcheol's stern one as you defended Soonyoung. Seungcheol has an unreadable expression on his face, his mouth opening to retort when a familiar monotone voice interrupts him.

"Fourth shop in two weeks is definitely a record, Nova." You grimace as you turned to face Jun who is leaning against the hallway wall with a teasing smirk on his face, making you roll your eyes. "Do I need to remind you that you currently have the record for most shops in the motor pool going to the crematory, Wen Junhui?"

He blinks in surprise before lifting his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright." He says, the teasing grin still on his face, "Don't go full Nova on me." You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the older man as he stands beside Seungcheol. "What are you doing here anyways? Vanguard didn't have enough cases for you in New York?"

Jun has been away on a Vanguard Mission that was working with the FBI on, catching a Mafia Heiress, who has been on the run after her brother had run their family operation to the ground. He told you and the rest that he was going to be gone for the rest of the month, but that doesn't seem to be the case as he stands in front of you in the flesh.

Jun shrugs, "They relocated me back to LA for the time being because mystery heiress managed to avoid our trap and is back on the run. Sources say that she's turning up in LA so we hope that happens." He eyes you with a small glint, "Joshua also sends his regards by the way."

At that, you do give him a small smile at the mention of your childhood friend. Agent Joshua Hong is a FBI Agent who runs Sentinels, a special unit in the FBI that is a taskforce to catch all well-known criminals who are either on the run or off the grid. He had offered you a job after you finished training at the academy, but being dead set on sticking by Minghao, Seokmin and Mingyu's side, you declined, saying that you would rather have two feet on the ground instead of up in the air for majority of your career.

"Glad to see that he still remembers me after not responding to all my messages." You mutter out, rolling your eyes before refocusing on the case, "Are you here to lead the case?"

Jun immediately goes into Sergeant mode at your question, his posture straightened as he shakes his head, his face immediately going serious. "Vanguard unfortunately has another important case that I need to get back to after this, but Sergeant Choi called me here for you to give me a rundown to see if I can afford to lend you any backup." He glances at Seungcheol, "Which we are also quite scarce for at the moment."

Seungcheol lets out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes close in annoyance. "Just what I needed to hear today." He mutters. Jun gives him a sympathetic look, patting his shoulder before turning back to you and your rookie. "Give me the rundown and we can go from there." Jun stays silent the entire time you and Soonyoung give him the rundown, from when the girl had run in-front of your shop — which had Soonyoung wincing slightly at Seungcheol's scowl — to the ride to the hospital as you kept trying to ask her questions that all ended up unanswered due to the fact that she was having a hard time focusing.

"She also mentioned someone named Tara." You recall, hearing the last few words that she said. Seungcheol and Jun share a glance as you start to piece the stuff together in your head, "Could it be another girl?" Jun's face hardens slightly. "Could be. We will need to run the names to see if anything turns up but the detectives are unfortunately still swarmed with their own cases."

"Already covered." Seungcheol says, taking a glance towards you before looking back at Jun. "Xu is meant to take the detectives exam in two days, and given his really good work from the sniper case, the brass has deemed that he could use the practice to give him the leg up to really prepare him for the examination."

At the mention of Minghao's name, you freeze a little, wincing at the thought of interacting with your step-brother at the pivotal moment of the case. Seungcheol notices the wince, frowning slightly before refocusing on Jun who nods at his words. "Cool, I can probably only lend you Jihoon for the time-being as we wrap up the monstrous cases that was left to me while I was in New York." "Wow," You say, composing yourself slightly as you switch to tease Jun, "Definition of a great 'welcome back'."

Jun rolls his eyes before giving you snarky grin, "You know it!" He cheers, before excusing himself to call Jihoon, the second in command of the Vanguard team. Seungcheol turns to you and your rookie. "Officer Kwon, could you get control to ID the girl and send it back to your box?" He eyes you, "I need to speak with your training officer."

Soonyoung gives you a brief glance as you grimace slightly, cursing Seungcheol's good observational skills as you can already guess what he wants to ask. You give Soonyoung a small nod, asking him to leave to which he gives you a small reassuring nod back before walking out of the hallway to walkie back to control. Despite yourself, you smile slightly as you watch Soonyoung walk away before turning to Seungcheol, who has an eyebrow raised. "Getting along well with your rookie, are you?"

Your eyes widen for a fraction before you compose yourself and shake your head while clearing your throat. "Well," you start, "you were the one who asked me to give him a chance."

Seungcheol scoffs before settling back to the matter at hand. "You and Xu having a scuffle again?" He asks, plain and straight to the point. You grimace. "Yeah," You answer honestly. There is no point hiding it from your hawk eyed boss. He probably knew that you and Minghao had been having problems since the second day of rookie season. He just has a habit of not interfering or mentioning it till shit either hits the fan or it becomes too much to be dealt with professionally. You don't quite know if its the former, the latter, or just a precautionary measure at this point.

"But, we've been dealing with cases professionally amidst our fight, we should be okay working together for this." Seungcheol gives you a look, one that you've come to understand that he is amused but still in disbelief, which makes you internally roll your eyes. "We will be fine," You reassure once more, your tone hardening slightly. He gives you one last up and down before nodding. "Alright," He says, "It better not come back to my desk as another abnormal paperwork then." You are about to give him another round of reassurance when the man you two were talking about decides to walk down the hallway, with Vernon hot on his tail.

"Got your message." Minghao says, reaching to where you and Seungcheol are standing as he gives you the firmest and briefest nod possible before fixing his eyes on Seungcheol for his mission.

"Good," Seungcheol simply says, "We're just waiting for the base info from Officer Kwon." He peers over your shoulder, "And speaking of Officer Kwon." The three of you turn to find Soonyoung walking back to the four of you with a pep in his step, "Victim's name is Julie Wilson." He speaks, reading it off of his city issued phone, "Twenty two, college student who was reported missing by her dorm-mate two weeks ago." You grimace slightly at the information, "Did you find anything about Tara?"

Minghao's eyebrows furrow at that information and beats Soonyoung before he has a chance to answer. "There's another missing girl?" He asks, turning his attention to you. You compose your nerves, staring at your brother who has been avoiding you like the plague as you nod. "Julie kept mentioning a girl named Tara on our way here and when she was on the hospital bed," You swipe your bottom lip with your tongue, contemplating your words. "She kept saying she was sorry for leaving her."

Minghao's eyes darken at the realization. "Fuck," He mutters lowly, running a hand through his hair. "Language." Seungcheol calmly says before resting a hand on his shoulder. "Use the facts that we know and start from there." Seungcheol instructs as Minghao gives him a curt nod. "Control is still searching for any missing persons reports about a girl named Tara." Soonyoung answers, redirecting it back to your question, "They said the information will be redirected to our box the moment they find answers."

Minghao gives a nod before turning to Seungcheol, who raises his eyebrow, "It's your case, Detective. Give your orders." Minghao's eyes widen for a second, slightly taken aback before he mutters out a 'Right' and turns to you, "You and your Boot can start canvassing around the area where you found her." "You mean where her boot hit her with the shop like Mad Max." Seungcheol points out.

You roll your eyes at the statement, "Again," You pointedly say, glaring at Seungcheol, who looks like he was having a hard time keeping a smirk off of his face. "Kwon did not hit the girl with our shop. She ran in front of it."

Minghao, who looks like he has a ghost of a small smile on his face despite the two of you not being on good terms — probably because he is happy seeing you squirm — waves his hands. "Okay," He relents. "The two of you can start by canvassing the neighbourhood, do door to door if you need to. We need to know if anyone has seen this girl or saw where she was running from." He pauses as you watch the gears turn in his head, "Did she say anything about who her captive is?"

You shake your head, "She was heavily drugged by the person and I'm guessing she probably also doesn't remember how long she was running for before we found her." Minghao grimaces slightly at the information, "Right," he mutters out bitterly, "Because our job isn't hard enough as it is." You hold back a snort at his statement before Seungcheol speaks, "I'll assign Kim and Lee to the search as well. The downtown area of Jameson Street is too large for one shop to be canvassing alone."

Minghao nods before letting Seungcheol take his leave, probably to walkie to Mingyu and Seokmin about the new canvass they are assigned to, leaving you and Minghao standing next to each other. Minghao takes a quick glance at you, making you do the same as the awkwardness starts to settle in at the fact that this might be the first time the two of you are full-on speaking in the last two weeks other than the occasional, 'Here's the report' or 'Groceries are in the fridge'.

Soonyoung's eyes flit between the two of you before he locks eyes with Vernon, who seems to have done the same thing, clocking the awkward tension between the two of you. They share a silent conversation as the two of you try (and fail) to not make it obvious before Soonyoung clears his throat.

You lock eyes with your rookie, snapping out of the awkward haze you were in as you straighten up slightly before shuffling over to him.

"I guess I'll see you later." You mumble out to Minghao, the awkward tension getting more palpable as each second passes. "Yeah," He mutters, scratching the back of his nape, "See you."

With that, you take off down the hallway, your heart in your throat as Soonyoung trails behind you, almost struggling to keep up with your fast pace. You burst through the doors of the hospital, finally catching your breath, the tension making you feel like you're suffocating as Soonyoung slows down to your side.

"Are you alright?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he crouches down to your height. You let out a huff, "Never better." Your voice sounding strained as you straight yourself up. "Let's go catch this bastard."

REPORT 15 OF 546 - BEARING THE EMOTIONS OF THE WORLD

Canvassing the neighborhood was definitely at the bottom of the list for your favourite patrol tasks. It was good policing, sure, but it was only ever done when an abduction and/or a kidnapping had taken place and from the statistics, 7/10 times, it was always a female. 3/5 of the times that you canvass, you won't be able to find anything, which was definitely what had happened yesterday. You, Mingyu and Seokmin had divided up the search grid to try to at least get some of the ground covered but with almost a new call happening every 10 minutes, the three of you only managed to canvass 1/6 of the search grid.

Minghao and Vernon had stayed behind to question Julie at the hospital, waiting for her to detox so that he could ask her questions while the memories were still fresh, but ended up not getting a lot to go off of. He had updated the three of you in the group chat that you guys shared, meaning that you had read the messages before having a restless night of sleep.

"Morning." You greet lowly, taking a seat between Seokmin and Mingyu with a small cup of oolong tea in your hand. You take in their appearances, their hair just slightly more unkept than usual along with matching small frowns on their faces as they murmur out greetings of their own. You grimace slightly at their expressions, "I take it night shift didn't find anything after they picked up the baton?" You ask, hopes that you are wrong shattering as Mingyu gives you a heavy nod.

"They got through a bigger part than we did but," Mingyu trails off, shaking his head, "Still nothing on where the missing girl could've been." You figured as much. Minghao didn't come home until 5am in the morning to take a quick nap, shower, and grab a new uniform set before he was out of the house again.

Cases like these always disrupted your morning routine, so while Minghao was having his nap, you made a batch of Pu-er tea, Minghao's favourite, to help him with the nerves and pressure. You left it to steep on the stove before hearing his shuffles, making you head back into your room to avoid meeting him but hoping the tea would be enough of a peace offering for now.

You laid in bed with bated breath as you heard him whip his room door open, taking a few steps before his shuffling came to a stop. There was silence for a few beats before you heard him let out a soft sigh as he shuffled around a little more and the stove was turned off. When you had emerged from your room an hour later, long after he left, you noticed that the pot was less than half filled, making a small smile appear.

"Alright," Seungcheol says from the front, making you snap out of your thoughts as you peer at the front to see Jihoon, Seungcheol and Minghao standing at the stand beside the projection screen.

You watch Minghao take a sip from his tumbler, making your heart clench slightly before he takes the lead for the presentation. "As you all know, yesterday at 14:45, Officer Nova and Kwon came across Julie Wilson, who was seen fleeing from an unknown area with duct tapes wrapped around her wrist." Minghao gravelly begins, his eyes sharp as he changes to the next slide, "Our victim was heavily drugged and she was unable to tell us how long she had been running for or what exactly her captive looked like."

He inhales heavily, "However, we have reason to believe there may be a second target that Julie mentioned leaving behind," He changes the slide to show a girl, who looked just slightly younger than Julie, a bright smile on her face that makes your blood run cold. "Her name is Tara Hill, twenty-one years old who was reported missing three weeks ago."

Jihoon picks up a stack of papers from the stand and starts to hand them out to everyone with details on it such as her last known address, her common route to her school, as well as printed out images of Tara. You feel a pit of dread in your stomach looking at the pictures that Minghao, Jihoon and Vernon had managed to dig up from the database, her bright smile making you gnaw on your bottom lip as your determination to find her spikes.

"I've approved extra shifts and O.T until we find this girl," Seungcheol says as he eyes the room, "Everyone canvasses between calls, understood?" A murmur of 'understood' echoes through the room, making Seungcheol nod.

"Alright, Sergeant Jihoon and I will be running base back here, manning the tip line so if you hear or see anything at all, ask them to call the number on the piece of paper handed back to you so that we can collate the information and find the girl faster." Seungcheol says, gesturing to himself and Jihoon who looks like he would rather be anywhere else but here. Jihoon glances towards you, making you give him a small thumbs up, to which he replies with a roll of his eyes and a subtle slice across his neck, making you grin slightly at his antics.

You and Jihoon weren't close but being Jun's right-hand meant that you two would work together during the cases when Vanguard needed patrols help with their cases. Meaning that the two of you had a small banter situation going on that was almost the same as when you were dealing with the two lanky men that were seated on either side of you.

"Let's do some good policing." Seungcheol says, grabbing your attention back as he dismisses the whole room. You stand up, stretching slightly as Seokmin glances at you. "Talked to Hao yet?" He asks, making you shake your head 'no'. "The case is taking up all his time right now," You state, glancing towards your brother, who has dark rings under his eyes. "We need to solve this today no matter what." You lowly state, glancing towards Mingyu and Seokmin. "Hao needs to be able to focus on his detectives exam tomorrow."

They both give you a firm nod before rallying up their rookies so that they could get a start on the canvassing before any calls come through. The gears turn quickly in your head as you made your way to your shop where Soonyoung is placing the war bags in the trunk.

"We're making a quick stop at the hospital," You announce to him, making your way to the passenger seat of the car. His eyebrows furrow as he closes the boot. "What for?" He asks, his head tiling to the side as you turn to look at him. "To ask Julie some questions before we start our canvass." You nonchalantly respond, making his eyes narrow more in confusion. "Aren't Xu and Vernon on that?" he asks, making his way to the drivers seat as you slide into the passenger seat.

You shrug, "Doesn't hurt to ask another round just to see if we can get more information." You state, "Besides, Tara can't wait." Soonyoung stares at you for a beat before nodding. "You're the boss." He states, grabbing his seatbelt to click it on as you give him a small smirk. "Glad to see you're good with authority now." You quip, making him huff out a laugh. "Figured I would give it a try since we were bonding yesterday." You narrow your eyes slightly at that comment. "We weren't bonding, Boot." Soonyoung nods his head, seemingly believing it, but the smile on his face says otherwise, "Whatever you say, Ma'am." You roll your eyes as he shifts the car into drive and steers out of the parking lot.

"He grabbed me when I was walking on my way home from college." Julie sniffles out, her eyes slightly swollen with tears as you look at her, sympathy written all over your face. "I never saw him but," she trails off, her eyes watering more as she recalls the memory, "I just felt the cloth go over my nose and then everything went black."

Soonyoung notes all the answers onto his notepad as you sit on the stool beside her bed, "Do you remember anything about the house?" You gently ask, handing her a tissue to wipe her eyes with.

She dabs at her eyes as she shakes her head 'no'. "He kept me in the basement with Tara, only coming to see us to bring us food and wave a gun around to try and scare the both of us." Her voice catches slightly as she sniffles, "He always wore a halloween mask over his face, to conceal his identity from us."

She lets out a shaky exhale, "I think he liked it, when he threatened us," She sobs out, making you soothe her as you hand her another tissue paper, telling her that it is alright and that she is safe.

You and Soonyoung share a glance. "Anything else?" He gently prompts, his voice soft so as to not scare the traumatized girl, "Anything that can help us find this place and Tara?"

Julie hesitates for a second, taking a quick glance at you before looking at Soonyoung, "I might be crazy but…" she takes a sharp inhale, "I kept hearing a voice shout 'Fatality' every few minutes." She turns to look at you, her eyes begging. "Tara could never hear it but I swear it was there."

Your eyes widen at her statement, whipping out your phone, typing in something into your search bar before flipping the screen to her. "Was it this?" You ask her softly, pressing play on the YouTube video as the sound fills the room, making her eyes widen. "Yes." She breathes out making a small grin appear on your face. But before you say anything, there is a knock on the door. You and Soonyoung whip your heads to the door to find Minghao standing there with Vernon behind him, giving you an anxious look as your brother is silently seething.

"What are you doing here, Nova?" He asks, his arms crossed as he looks between you and your rookie. You curse internally at your brothers expression before exiting the room, making Soonyoung give a quick glance to Julie. "We'll check on you later," Soonyoung reassures her, giving her a small smile before he shoves his notepad and pen into his patch pocket.

Minghao eyes you, his arms crossed and posture rigid. "Well?" He asks, the tone of his voice teetering on the edge of rage as he raises an eyebrow. "I'm waiting."

Your eye twitches at his tone, "We came by on our way to canvass, didn't think it would be a big deal—" "Protocol is key here, Nova." Minghao interrupts, his voice hard and rough as he seethes, making you take a step back as you meet his gaze. "Everything goes through me or Sarge, Nova. You know that."

Soonyoung's eyes narrow slightly. "What's the problem here?" He asks, making your heart drop as you watch your brother's glare shift to your rookie. "We're all trying to catch the same guy here."

Minghao lets out a scoff. "Why are you talking right now, Officer Kwon?" He asks, his brazen voice making Soonyoung frown. "Do you have a problem with me or something?" Soonyoung asks, his voice raising slightly and making Minghao give him another cutthroat glare as you heave out a sigh. "Enough!" You exclaim out exasperatedly, placing your hands on both of their chest as you sternly glare at the both of them before pushing Soonyoung backwards and behind you, so that your brother's focus shifts to you.

"Did she tell you about the voice saying 'Fatality'?" You ask, making Minghao's expression twist into one of confusion. "What?" He asks after a moment of silence, his eyebrows furrowing even more, "'Fatality'?" You nod eagerly as you watch the gears turn in his head. You sigh. Watching his brain lag, you pull out your phone again to find the sound. "Listen." You say playing the YouTube video as a video game theme plays in the background before the announcer voice booms out through the speaker, "Fatality."

Minghao's eyes widen in recognition before he locks eyes with your excited ones, "Pixie," He says aloud, his voice brimming on excitement, "You're a genius."

You feel your neck flush slightly, warm with pride as your brother positively acknowledges you for the first time in weeks, the nickname bringing a warmth to your chest. Soonyoung and Vernon eye each other, confusion etched on their faces. "Sorry, what?" Soonyoung asks, his eyebrows furrowed, feeling a little lost as he eyes the two of you, who are buzzing from finding the clue to solve the case.

You flip your phone over for Vernon and Soonyoung to see as they peer at the screen, seeing the grainy pixelated characters fight it out. Vernon squints at the screen, "Is that Mortal Kombat?"

You nod eagerly, humming out a sound of affirmation, "The 1992 version to be exact." The two rookies look over at you, shock etched onto their faces as they look at you as if you had grown a second head. You frown at their expression, feeling a little awkward under their intense gazes, "What?" You ask, your voice tensing as you give them a stare.

Vernon immediately breaks his gaze from your face, clearing his throat as Soonyoung closes his mouth, swallowing. "Nothing," Soonyoung murmurs, making you narrow your eyes before you get back on track and pull out the search grid.

"Anyway." You mutter out, unraveling the search grid and placing it on the coffee table nearby, allowing the three men to see. "Mortal Kombat is normally at arcades and there are seven in our search grid," You gesture for Soonyoung to give you the pen, circling the seven arcades in the area. "However," You murmur as you start to cross out five of them, "There are only two old timey arcades in the area that have the oldest version of Mortal Kombat released in 1992. Which has the voice line that Julie recognizes." You put more emphasis on the two arcades that lay on either sides of the search grid.

"We can take one and radio Seok and Gyu to take the other." Minghao suggests, making your eyes widen. "You want to go with me?" You ask, your voice coming out softer than you intended, making Minghao's expression soften as well. "Yeah," He says, hesitating slightly, "Unless you don't want me to. I can get Gyu or Seok to go with you instead."

You immediately shake your head, straightening your posture, "I would love you to have my back again." You say softly, making a small smile appear on Minghao's face, giving you a firm nod. "Let's catch this bastard then." You smile to yourself, locking eyes with your brother's determined ones. "Took the words right out of my mouth."

Stopping right outside the old-timey arcade makes you freeze, feeling a wave of nostalgia hit you as you recall old memories of going to the arcades with Minghao and your parents.

Slamming the car door shut, you scan the area as Soonyoung appears by your side. "Judging from how loud the machines are," You murmur, tracing the edge of the building as you look at the neighbourhood houses surrounding the arcade.

"Along this street right?" Soonyoung asks, catching your drift as he points towards a row of houses right at the opposite end of where the arcade entrance and Mortal Kombat are.

You nod, watching Minghao get out of his own shop and walk towards the two of you. "I've updated the Watch Commander and Vanguard already. Gyu just informed me that they've reached the other arcade and are doing door to door now."

You hum in understanding, gesturing to the row opposite the entrance, "We were just saying that it has to be this row of houses because Mortal Kombat is right there." You say, pointing towards where the machine is, hearing the sound effects.

"Brings back memories, huh?" Minghao asks, making you nod before you glance towards the houses. "Let's start." You and Minghao pause for a moment to canvas the outer area of the houses before you land on one where a security guard is sitting on his porch.

"Maybe we should ask the neighbours first." You say, glancing towards Minghao, "Security guys are always nosy." He nods, agreeing with you, "I'll take Chwe and we'll do a knock on the first house then." He states, making you nod as his eyes narrow on you. "Stay safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do." He warns, making you shrug, giving him a small smile. "No promises."

He continues to stare at you, making you shrink slightly at his brotherly glare, a reminder that the two of you still have some unresolved issues before you relent and nod, "I'll be careful." That answer seems to satisfy him as he gives you a curt nod before walking towards the first house down the street.

"Let's go, Boot." You solemnly command, making him give you a small nod as you feel your skin prickle, slightly on edge as you use your chin to nudge towards the security guard, "Show me what you got." He nods, walking towards the house before approaching the security guard as you stand a little bit away but still in earshot of him and the civilian, accessing the streets for dodgy houses and just observing your surroundings.

"Hello there, sir." Soonyoung greets chirpily, making the older man stand up to access him with a wary smile on his face. "Good morning." The security guard greets, "How can I help you?" A dog barks in the distance, making you glance towards that area as you take a few slow steps down the street, still on high alert with your ears perked to listen to Soonyoung's conversation. "…and we were wondering if you saw anything out of the ordinary?"

"No, nothing that I can recall," The man says as something catches your attention from the corner of your eye, making you pause your slow walk. You turn to the right to see the security guard's car window slightly wound down, something inside reflecting sunlight in your direction.

You squint at it, curious before you peer upwards to see Soonyoung still deep in conversation with him. You chew at your bottom lip before waking towards the car, glancing every few steps to see if the security guard is watching you.

"Have you seen these two girls at all?" You hear Soonyoung ask as you quietly approach the car. "No, not at all." The man answers, shifting slightly, "Uh, are they okay?" You peer into the opened window, squinting slightly as your eyes flit through the amount of things in the backseat of his car before it lands on something that makes your blood run cold.

Their voices muffle slightly as you spot a halloween mask in the backseat of the car. Your head immediately whips upwards. "Kwon!" You yell, getting the blonde's attention as you whip out your gun, pointing it at the security guard. The guard, who seemed to have sensed danger, immediately pulls out a pistol from his right back-pocket, pointing it straight at Soonyoung, making your eyes widen in horror.

"MOVE!" You quickly shout, making Soonyoung dive right, just in the nick of time as the guard took his first shot, missing Soonyoung by just a few centimeters. You fire a few shots of your own, barely missing him as he sprints to his porch, whipping the front door open and clambering inside. You internally curse at all your missed shots before you watch Soonyoung immediately stand and run after the man, his gun out.

"Kwon!" You call out to him, wanting to reason that the two of you should wait for backup but he interrupts you. "I'm going in!" He yells, feeling adrenaline coursing through his veins before he disappears through the front door.

You yell out a very loud 'Fuck' at your rookie's new heroic spirit that you no doubt have instilled in him in the past two weeks after the incident at the house. You peer to your left to see Minghao and Vernon already dashing down the street, making you weigh your options. You could either sprint in after Soonyoung or wait for Minghao and Vernon to get here. The only problem with the latter is that the suspect is armed and your rookie isn't exactly a top-notch shot. As you hear another gunshot go off in the house, the decision is long made for you as your body begins to move on it's own as you sprint into the house, ignoring Minghao's cries for you.

Soonyoung swears that his blood has never pumped this hard in his ears. Never when he was performing his heart out in-front of tens and thousands of people, never when he was practicing the hardest choreography that he has ever done and especially not during the absolute episode of his first shift.

However, as he rounds the corners of the empty house, he swears his heart starts to work overtime. After blatantly avoiding your calls for him, he's as quiet as a mouse, weaving through the multiple corners of the house before ending up in the backroom, his eyes fleeting around the room on high alert. He rounds the last corner, peering into the last room of the house, a tiny backroom that seemingly has only one access point. Remembering his training, he steps into the room and scans it, closing the door quietly behind him.

This is the last room in the house and if the guard isn't here, that would mean…

His thoughts trail off as he notices an open wardrobe, light filtering into it slightly and making him frown as he walks closer to it. He moves some of the hangers out of the way before noticing the makings of a hidden door. His eyes widen. "Bingo," he mutters to himself, his hand reaching for the door to whip it open when something stops him.

Or someone for the matter.

Soonyoung almost yelps out in surprise as he feels a hand on his shoulder, whipping around with his finger already on the trigger of his gun to face a very angry you. "You're a fucking idiot, Kwon Soonyoung." You quietly hiss out under your breath, your rage-filled tone making him give you a small sheepish smile. "You could've been killed-" You start to chastise before he interrupts you.

"Ma'am," He quietly states, trying not to flinch at the intensity of your glare. "You can yell at me later, the guy is down there." He reasons, gesturing towards the hidden door. He watches as your jaw clenches slightly. "Fine." You state, "But this isn't over." You say, walking in front of him, mumbling under your breath how you got saddled with the most reckless rookie ever as you take point at the right side of the door.

Soonyoung watches you, his heartbeat still pounding in his ears as you shoot him a look with your eyebrows raised, "Are you waiting for Christmas?" You hiss out, gesturing your gun towards the other side of the door, "Get the fuck over here."

Soonyoung's eyes widen as he scrambles to the left of the door. He is definitely going to get an earful from you later about how badly this could've ended for him. He watches you take a deep breath before signaling to him that you will open the door on the count of three. He nods, making you turn to the door, your hand up before counting up.

As soon as your third finger goes up and you whip the door open, making Soonyoung point his gun inside, his finger alert on the trigger and he peers down a musty old staircase. "Clear," He quietly whispers out before he shuffles forward, to begin his descent down the stairs with you right on his sixth.

He switches the flashlight on at the top of his gun as he continues to walk further down the creaking staircase, his heart in his throat as he startles at every new sound. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, the room is eerily quiet, only filled with the sounds of his and your slow breathing as well as the ventilation fan that is working overtime at the corner of the room.

Soonyoung notices two doors on either side of the room, which are mostly concealed behind many high shelves and boxes. He takes a small glance towards you, silently asking what the two of you should do, making you chew on your bottom lip before signaling to him that the two of you will need to split up.

It is dangerous for sure, Soonyoung understands how dangerous the situation is, but if the two of you end up going into the same room, it's even riskier as he could trap the two of you inside. The guard has the advantage at the moment, he is hiding and because this is his own house, he knows the ins and outs of everything. Soonyoung gives you a small curt nod as he pieces everything together before he slowly walks towards the right side of the room. He shines his flashlight and gun at every nook and corner that he sees, rounding each high shelf until he reaches the other side of the room, the door right next to him.

His eyes narrow slightly at the hatch on the door before he presses himself to the left wall of the door, his right hand on his gun while his left one rests on the latch. He gives himself a mini countdown before opening the locked door, peering inside to see Tara lying on the floor. His eyes widen, "Tara?" he says aloud making the young girl peer up at him, squinting slightly at the flashlight as Soonyoung takes her appearance in, his heart sinking slightly at her sullen eyes, pale lips, and dried blood all over her face. She scoots backwards, making him stash his gun as he raises his hands in surrender, not wanting to scare her even more as he makes his way towards her.

"It's okay." He mumbles to her, slowly approaching, "I'm with the LAPD." He watches as recognition floods her face, making her eyes fill with tears as he notices her recognize his uniform. He wastes no time crouching down next to her, "You're going to be okay." He soothes as he uses strength to rip off the duct tape on her arms, making her stay stationary to the wall before he moves towards the wrapped duct tape on her ankles.

"Look out!" Tara shrieks beside him, making him whip around, only to have his head slammed in by a hard metal object. He groans lowly, falling to the floor as his surroundings become slightly disorientated, his heart racing while his head throbs in his ears.

He hears Tara's muffled yelling but can't seem to make sense of it as his vision focuses in and out. He faintly notices the silhouette of the guard, making him curse internally as he tries to force himself to get up, to focus on reaching for his gun that is still attached to his duty belt.

He hears the muffled cocking of the pistol, his blood in his ears and his heart hammering against his chest, making him squeeze his eye shut, almost as if he was trying to will himself into getting up. He faintly hears the man chuckle before the house shakes, making Soonyoung open his eyes to see dust coming down from the ceiling, making the guard panic before he dashes out of the room.

Soonyoung, slowly regaining his focus, stands up without a second thought as his blood boils slightly at the thought of the guard making him dash out of the room.

"Wait!" Tara yells out, through a choked sob, "Please don't leave me." She begs, making Soonyoung stand at the door, his pulse still running a million miles an hour. "You're safe," He calls out to her before giving her a small reassuring smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "I'll be back." He promises before he gets out of the room, whipping his gun around, trying to spot the guard. He sees a flash of a shadow, immediately pointing in it's direction just to see the guard escape through a thin window at the corner of the room. He silently curses as he hears footsteps from the stairs, whipping around to see Minghao and Vernon with their guns out, descending down at a rapid pace.

"Kwon!" He hears you cry out as you come into view, your face full of concern. Vernon's eyes widen upon seeing Soonyoung's head. "Shit," Vernon mutters, "Are you alright?"

Soonyoung quickly nods, "I'm alright but the guy's on the run and someone needs to stay with Tara." Vernon and Minghao take a quick glance at each other before Minghao raises an eyebrow, eyeing the two boots. "Well, it's not going to be either one of you," He says sternly. "Get out of here and go catch the guy."

Soonyoung and Vernon's eyes widen before they immediately dash out through the open window, making Minghao turn to you, "I'll stay with Tara." He says, his tone having an edge of finality in it, "Take the shop and go give them backup." Minghao knew that you were a better shot at the end of the day, and if it came to it, you won't hesitate to take it if the guy doesn't surrender. Knowing that there is no time to argue, you give him a curt nod before you race up the stairs to get into your parked shop.

Soonyoung sprints down the neighbourhood streets, barely hearing the sirens as his eyes zero in on the guard running through the neighbourhood park. Soonyoung feels his lung's gasping for air but decides to ignore it, sprinting with Vernon, the two of them hot on the guards tail.

Soonyoung's mind is blank as he jumps over hurdles after hurdles before he sees the guard trip, dropping his pistol. He pushes his limits more and forces himself to run just a little bit faster to catch up with the guy before he can get up.

However, lady luck is not on his side as the guy ditches the gun and begins to sprint again. "Stay down!" He vaguely hears Vernon yelling from behind him as he chases after the guard once again. He barely registers the siren sounds from yours and his shop before you stop at the street right next to the exit he was heading to. You pull out your gun and intercepted the guy, yelling "Freeze!" making him raise his hands in surrender.

Soonyoung, who feels the adrenaline in his veins, the rush of blood to his head and visions of the girls trapped in the basement, only sees red as he tackles the guy. You stand there, frozen as you watch your rookie aim fist after fist at the man's head.

"Kwon!" You immediately yell, stashing your gun before you curl your arm into his bicep, halting his rage and making him peer up at you, his chest heaving as his eyes glaze over. "That's enough." You lowly hiss, glaring right into his eyes as he takes in heavy breaths. "He's done."

The glaze in his eyes clears as he takes a sharp inhale, as if he was just registering what he had done, peering back down to the guard, whose face is starting to get swollen and bruised.

"Hook him up, Boot." You calmly say before yanking your arm out from underneath his as Soonyoung swallows, feeling his throat suddenly dry up before he scrambles to follow your instruction, flipping the suspect over and handcuffing him. Soonyoung takes a quick glance at Vernon, whose eyes are wide at the spectacle, seemingly at a lost for words as Soonyoung feels the adrenaline start to slow, his head running a million miles per minute at what he had just done. He is definitely going to get it later.

The four of you stand in Seungcheol's office, giving him the rundown and debrief as Minghao calmly relays the facts to the man, with you retelling your part of what had happened in the house. You glance every now and then at your rookie, who is definitely zoning out the rest of the room.

You tense at the slight bit of concern that floods your veins as you stare at the man, who looks like he is wrestling with his inner thoughts, making you sigh internally, knowing you will need to talk to him later.

As the debrief wraps up, Seungcheol gives you and Minghao a nod of approval with a small smile on his face, "Good work, the two of you." He praises, his eyes fleeting between the two of you, before he glances towards your rookies behind the two of you.

"You two," He starts, making your rookies lock eyes with him, "You're dismissed. I need to speak with your training officers."

You glance behind to see the two rookies glance at each other before giving Seungcheol a firm nod and leaving the room. Seungcheol turns his gaze back to you and Minghao, studying the two of you for a beat. "I take it the two of you haven't made up yet?"

The abrupt question startles you, making you blink at your watch commander as you see Minghao doing the same from the corner of your eye. "Not yet, sir." Minghao says, locking eyes with you. "But we will solve this tonight."

The finality in his tone makes your heart stutter slightly, still wrestling with the choice of whether to tell Minghao or not. Seungcheol nods, "That's all I needed to hear." He says, sounding pleased with himself. If this was any other situation, you would have rolled your eyes at his antics before giving a sarcastic comment, but it has been a long day and you need to save your energy for dealing with Minghao.

Minghao and you leave Seungcheol's office, the tension definitely palpable in the air before Minghao reaches a set of benches right before the locker rooms, plopping down onto it as he let out a soft groan. He stretches slightly as you silently stare at him, awkwardly shuffling on your feet and making him glance up a you, his expression soft as he pats the bench.

You take the cue and sit down next to him, resting your palms on your knees as silence enveloped the two of you. Your tongue traces your bottom lip, wetting it as you feel the tension get more unbearable, until you can't take it anymore.

"Hao," You start, taking a shaky inhale, "Look I—" "Stop." He says softly, interrupting you before you can start to ramble. "Let me talk first."

You quiet down almost immediately, giving him the floor as he runs a hand through his hair before locking eyes with you. "I'm sorry for whatever I said in the car the other day." He mutters out, mirroring you as he rests his palms against his knees. "I wasn't trying to force you into telling me what happened but," he hesitates slightly, "I'm worried, Pixie."

He runs a hand through his hair again, almost tangling it in. "You've been more reckless ever since that day you had that talk with Seungcheol in his office." Minghao softly admits, a soft edge of frustration laced in his words, "You've also changed. Your methods have changed, you're excusing Kwon's actions sometimes and you stand up for him every chance you get even when you were advocating for him to quit since the first hour on day one."

Minghao takes a shaky inhale. "You don't need to tell me whatever is making you feel like this, Pixie," he admits, his tone slightly resigned as he stares at the floor, "But I need to know that you will make it home every night and that you will be able to solve this internal conflict that you are having with yourself." He locks eyes with you again, your heart clenching slightly at the dullness of them as they stare heavily into yours, "Because I can't lose you, Pixie, not ever and especially not like this."

You feel a rush of guilt spike immediately, making your chest ache from how fast and hard it hits you. Minghao's eyes flit around your face, studying you for a beat. "I trust you more than anyone else in the world, Pixie," He softly says, his expression softening even more, "And if you have a reason for not telling me, I know that it's a good one," He nudges you slightly, "Plus, if there's anyone who can solve something that everyone else thinks its unsolvable," he gives you a small smile, filled with adoration, "That person would be you."

The pain in your chest grows at the admittance and you feel your walls break almost instantly as you digested his words. Minghao studies you for a beat, taking your silence as quiet understanding before he speaks again. "I don't expect us to solve this today." He says softly, grabbing your hand into his, "We had a long day and I have my test tomorrow so why don't we just go out for food and—"

"Hao." You speak up, your voice soft, interrupting him and making him tilt his head in question. You let out a shaky exhale, "When Seungcheol called me into his office the other day, half of it was to tell me about Soonyoung being my new rookie, but the other half," You trail off, composing your nerves slightly before continuing, "Was about the brass."

Minghao's eyes narrow slightly, "What about the brass?" He questions, slightly frowning.

You shift slightly, turning to face him, "Seungcheol had a report on his desk with all of our stats from the past twenty Rookie Days we've had. While everyone's report and yours were clean, with only a few wash outs," You take a shaky inhale, "Mine was the worst, with only nine successful rookies."

Minghao blinks at that, "Why is that an issue?"

You gnaw on your bottom lip, "It's an issue because the brass needs to pin the heat on someone when all these total rookies add up and we don't have enough manpower on the streets, Hao." You mumble out bitterly, "They're going to claim that my methods are unorthodox. Yes, I produce the best rookies, but I also wash out the most and 'leave them for the sharks' as they put it."

Minghao's eyes widen at that, "What?" He asks, his voice low, serious and stern, "That's utter bullshit." You grimace slightly at his words, watching as he goes on a small spiral of his own, "They can't do that." "Well, they definitely can if they're threatening it." You speak out softly, making Minghao scoff as he shakes his head, borderline seething now.

"That's why you can't wash Soonyoung out," he mutters, starting to silently pieces everything together, "Because if you do, you lose this." You gravely nod at his voice as silence swarms around the two of you. Not the comfortable kind as you feel the air prickle your skin, the topic leading the air to become heavy amongst the two of you.

"That's fucked." Minghao finally admits, making you nod slowly. "It really is," You say, echoing his sentiment. "I guess we need to start trying harder to wash him out then." Minghao says, clasping his hands together, "I think we can think of a few ways to make the guy wash himself out."

You think back to yesterday and today and how Soonyoung has been. He was attentive, he took your criticism. You contemplate. "If he cannot hack it, I will cut him. Regardless of whether I am a training officer or not after the fact." "Remember what it was like to be in his shoes, Nova." "I'm here because I have to do this, because I can't live with myself if anyone else goes through the same thing that I have."

Those three sentences keep ringing at the back of your mind before you take in all of Soonyoung's actions today and how he risked everything to save the girl. How committed he was and how he saw red after the incident which lead to the altercation. "No." You softly say, surprising Minghao, "I don't think he should quit."

Minghao stares at you, his eyes slightly wide as he analyzes your face. You hold your breath, awaiting his argument. But instead, you just watch him deflate and sigh, the day definitely taking a toll on him.

"Alright." He simply says, giving you a soft smile as he squeezes your hand, making you frown in confusion. "You aren't going to argue with me?"

He raises an eyebrow, "You want me to?" You immediately shake your head, making your half-brother huff out a laugh, a teasing smile on his lips, "Don't get me wrong, I still don't like the guy, but after witnessing what he did today," He trails off, shaking his head, "Figures why you like him and want to keep him." He says, turning to you with a cheeky smirk on his face. You feel the back of your neck flush at his words before you use your free hand to slap him hard on the shoulder, making the older man yelp.

"Oi!" He exclaims, rubbing his shoulder with his free hand. "Don't add injuring a fellow police officer to your rapport now, you already have a bad rep with the officers at the motor pool because of your fellow rookie." "Need I remind you that you were the one that crashed your shop into the house today to get through the front door?" "Well, whose fault is that?! You didn't listen to me and got the front door locked after you ran inside to save your reckless rookie! What other choice did I have?" "Every war bag is equipped with a lock-pick, Xu! Which you would've remembered if you didn't come saving me as if you're some knight in shining armour." Minghao snorts before dragging you to your feet by your joint hands, "C'mon," He says, snarkily as he pulls you, "We're getting nowhere with this argument because we're both starving." You roll your eyes, "Just cause I was winning the argument." "Don't start."

You slam your locker door shut and grab your backpack before making your way out of the female changing room, bidding goodbye to the night shift team. You roll your shoulders, trying to get the ache out of them as you push the doors to the precinct open and take a deep breath, the cool night air filling your lungs.

You stand there for a second, soaking in the night before you catch something at the corner of your eye that makes you peer over to see a blonde head of hair. You watch as Soonyoung stares at the sky, contemplating as he sits on the bench right outside of the precinct. He is dressed in plain clothes, which you realize make him look a lot younger than he actually is despite being two years older than you.

You feel your body move on it's own as you approach him, your sneakers swiping a few rocks away. As you stand by his side, he seems to be in his own world, not noticing you. You clear your throat.

"Not going home yet?"

Soonyoung jumps slightly before whipping his head to the side to see you standing there, a ghost of a smile on your face as you try not to smile or laugh at scaring him.

"Waiting for Vernon, Chan and Seungkwan to get out of the locker room. My roommate is picking us up for dinner." He states as he eyes you. "How about you?"

"Waiting for Officer Xu, Lee and Kim. We're supposed to go for dinner." You say, rolling your eyes as you shift the strap of your bag on your shoulder, "They complain that I always take the longest but I swear, if the three of them are in there at once, they will take hours."

Soonyoung lets out a small laugh at your grimacing tone, "Do guys actually have all those locker room talks or something?" Soonyoung looks at you, not even bothering to hide his slight amusement. "Locker room talks or something?" He repeats your words, making you nod. "Yeah, like girls' bathroom talks."

At that, Soonyoung lets out a louder laugh, his shoulders relaxing by a fraction, making you smirk despite yourself. Soonyoung slides to the right, making place for you. "Want to sit?"

Despite everything in you saying 'no' and that you aren't supposed to get close to this rookie that you deemed irresponsible, you do anyways. You know he isn't like that anymore, it would be pretty dumb if you still thought that way after getting to know him the past two weeks, despite not wanting to. You let out an exhale as you sit before silence envelops the two of you as you both stare at the moon and the stars dotting the sky.

You glance towards Soonyoung, whose shoulders look like they tensed up again in just a couple of seconds. "How are you doing?" You ask the man, making him glance at you before going back to stare at the moon, gnawing at his bottom lip.

"I'm…" He hesitates slightly, watching your expression morph into a 'don't lie to me' one, making him relent. "Honestly, I could be better." He mutters out, not wanting to meet your eyes. You let out a hum, stretching slightly. "Why's that?"

He lets out a sigh, "I've always known that people can be capable of horrible things," he softly says, kicking a few pebbles with his shoes as he swings his legs lightly, "but to see it firsthand was…"

He trails off, his head dropping lower but his words resonate with you as you digest them, understanding what he means. You lean back on your hands as you stare at the sky. "You've also experienced it firsthand." You say softly.

Soonyoung barks out a bitter laugh. "You're right," he mutters, mirroring your posture.

You stare at him for a few moments before nudging him to make him look at you, "Can't let it infect you." You say quietly, after he locks eyes with you. "As a civilian, you can be driven by emotion as much as you want. As a cop?" You shake your head, "You need to rise above it because it's not your job to punish this man for what he did as much as you want to."

Soonyoung stays silent as you gently reason with him, "Doesn't make it suck any less." He finds himself muttering, making your expression soften.

"It doesn't." You agree, "When you were on stage, you were in-charge of it all, the emotions you were inflicting on others through your music, the music that you could perform on it and everything that was meant to be up there, but here?" You let out a small sigh, solidifying your words and point. "Overcoming that impulse and need for control will be the hardest thing that you do in this job."

You let your words sit for a beat with Soonyoung before a few muffled voices catch your attention, making you peer behind to see the three men joking around with each other, pushing each other slightly as they make their way out of the building.

You roll your eyes at their antics before looking back at Soonyoung, who seems amused by them, "Guess that's your cue." He says, making you scoff as you shake your head. "Wish it wasn't," You say tiredly, making Soonyoung laugh at your deadpanned expression before a small smile makes its way onto your face. You stand up, slinging your bag onto your shoulder again, "You did good today, Officer Kwon." You praise, making Soonyoung blink at your words.

"Did you just compliment me?"

You roll your eyes, "Don't get used to it." You say pointedly as he shakes his head, a wider grin on his face now. "Wouldn't dream of it, Ma'am." He says, his eyes twinkling, making your chest warm slightly even though you don't know why.

You clear your throat as your entourage makes their way over to Mingyu's car, Minghao calling out your name. "That's my actual cue." You say as Soonyoung nods, opening his mouth to speak when you are both interrupted by yet another loud group of people, the two of you turning to see Chan and Seungkwan arguing with each other as Vernon trails behind them.

You smile, amused before turning to Soonyoung, "Looks like that's your cue as well." You say, your grin teasing as he huffs, standing up as well. "Unfortunately," He mumbles before turning to you, eyeing you for a beat before his expression morphs into a more appreciative one.

"Thank you." he says softly, "For the talk." You shrug, "I'm your training officer, every moment is a teachable one." You watch him resist the urge to roll his eyes, making you laugh as you take a step away from him.

"See you tomorrow, Officer Nova." He says, giving you a mock salute which has you rolling your eyes as you step a few steps backward, a ghost of a smile on your face at how stupid your rookie is. "See you tomorrow, Officer Kwon."

PART TWO (Coming Soon)

©livmarauder2026 Thank you guys so much for reading part one! I hope you guys are excited for part two which should hopefully be released sooner or later... please comment down below if you want to be tagged for that (pending date is june atm!) Like my work? Join my Permanent Taglist! All my fics are 18+, which means blogs without age or age indicators will not be tagged If you like this, please consider reblogging or liking, it really makes my day! <3 Thank you again for showing rookie soonyoung love! <3

⋆⭒˚.⋆ TAGLIST: @mellowgyu @izzyy-recs @cherrymayz @luvrung @nerdycheol @choco-scoups @hopecutie @gentleisa @chogiwaw @caratchronicles @huiimoon @gyuhao365 @unemployedcarat @bramos91 @fancypeacepersona

[chogiwaw]

The Double Life of My Dad - Choi Seungcheol

pairing: idol/actor!choi seungcheol x f!reader tags: drinking, suggestive, drama-too much drama, smut (MDNI), seungcheol has daughter (OC), mention of OC as his co-stars, teasing, a brief p in v moment, mention of insecurities, cursing and harsh word.

synopsis: seungcheol's face was all over the world. walking around the city? his face was almost in every billboard. turning on the tv? he was probably in one of drama that played in some big TV station. going to the cinema? his recent movie probably was being played there. music apps? his solo or his group music topping the songs chart. but when the director yells cut, the camera stops rolling and the lights turn off, he's just a simple 35 years old man who can't wait to go home to be with his wife and daughter. wc: 19.9k warning: 95% not proofread and my grammar sucks

a/n: my first ever collab fic is officially a wrap! really thankful for luna @belovedgyu, rae @nerdycheol, and izzy @jakedustry for accommodating this collab. this collab means everything to me, i learn a lot in here, met new lovely friends, sharing ideas, talking about a to z, i love you guys so much. to my lovelies @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @caratchronicles, @livmarauder, @cxffecoupx, @cherrymayz, @pomegranate-teardrop, @mellowgyu, @gentleisa, @hopecutie, @luvrung, @choco-scoups thank you for not giving up and finishing this collab gracefully. can't wait to read all of your amazing work! honorable mention: i am so thankful and grateful for luna @belovedgyu for proofread and check my (shit) grammar for that specific part that stressing me out. to my sprint buddies, thank you for sprinting with me. to everyone who joined this collab, i love you guys so so much and really thankful for each one of you.

banner: this magical, beautiful, and out of this world banner by the one and only @livmarauder

BLOCKBUSTER COLLAB MASTER LIST

"AND CUT!" The director yells and everyone is clapping. Seungcheol who is kneeling on the ground with his eyes full of tears is getting help from the actress he played with to stand up. Everyone is clapping because the shoot for the new drama is finally wrapped beautifully.

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK EVERYONE!" Seungcheol shouts. 

He is thanking everyone who has worked hard to make the shooting process easier for him. He is thanking his co-star Ahn Sumi, the newcomer who just made her breakthrough from her past drama. He takes photos with his co-stars and the staff while holding a bouquet of flowers from the staff as a congratulatory gesture. 

One by one, each light turns off and so does his life as an actor. He is no longer Seungcheol the top actor or S.Coups—a famous singer in the music industry. He is back to his ordinary life as Choi Seungcheol. Thirty five years old Choi Seungcheol who loves to take a long hot bath, drink a can of beer before sleeping while watching whatever his youtube home page is showing, and of course, talking with you about his day or listening to every rant you need to vent, especially about your endless work. Most importantly, he loves to play with the love of his life, his two years old daughter.

Seungcheol might appear as a single man who from time to time is involved in gossip for a dating scandal which he denied every time. He always put a high barrier every time he acted in romance movies or dramas with his co-stars. He always considers them as a good friend or as work colleagues at least. He likes to keep his work life professional, so falling in love with his co-star is out of the question, because you are the only one he could ever think off.

Seungcheol met you by the river eight years ago, he was twenty seven years old at that time. 

It was midnight when Seungcheol decided to go for a run at the jogging track by the river. He had just finished his schedule that day. It was a long and tiring day. He and his group needed to record their performance at five in the morning, then went to shoot for a show he can't even remember the name of, then proceed to practice for tomorrow's shows. It was really tiring but that night Seungcheol really needed to let it all out, he really needed to let go of the burden he had on his shoulder. 

He missed living a normal life as a guy in his twenties, so he ran that night by himself. He was feeling himself. Seungcheol was running so hard until he was out of breath. He rested both hands on his knee, his chest was heaving because he ran too fast but a smile grew on his sweaty face. 

He plopped himself to the grass, removed one of the heads of a wired earphone from his ears. He heard someone crying, bawling even, and he saw you there. You were very close to the river and Seungcheol's instinct was running towards you, because he thought you were going to do something he can't even imagine.

"Don't!" You stopped mid crying. Looking down at your wrist that gets held by someone. You dragged your eyes slowly from your wrist until you met Seungcheol eyes. Your eyes widened and you pushed him hard until he stumbled to the back. 

"Just don't do it! There are many things to do in your life!" This time, Seungcheol was shaking your body while holding you on your shoulder. Like he was trying to get your senses back. 

"I'm not gonna do anything!" You removed his hands on your shoulders. 

"Pervert!" You half shouted. 

Seungcheol's eyes might have popped out at that moment, he was trying to help you— he didn't want anything bad to happen to you but he got called a pervert instead.

"I'm trying to help! I'm not a pervert!" Seungcheol lowered his mask, trying to make you realize that he was indeed not a pervert.

That night, you didn't realize that he was someone famous until the next morning you saw his face when you were on your way to work. Your jaw was on the floor when you realized who you called as a pervert that night.

Days after, you were back sitting by the river. This time you were not crying, but you were lying down on the grass. Listening to songs on your playlist, until you found someone sitting beside you. Seungcheol was the one who sat beside you. This time you didn't scream or accuse him as a pervert, you stayed there in silence with him.

"Is it hard to be an idol?" Was the first thing you asked him. You didn't even bother to ask his name, because you see how tired he was. He looked as tired as you.

"It is but I love my job," He answered.

"Then what's with the long face?" You asked again. 

"I feel lonely." 

Seungcheol never asked your name and you never asked his name— one, because you knew his name already, his name was plastered everywhere, almost every billboard you passed by, had his face and name on it. 

The frequency of you meeting with him by the river was never planned, almost every Thursday night you met him there. There were times where you didn't meet him at all but you stayed there a little bit longer than usual, in case he was coming late. 

You were sitting by yourself that night and you saw him run towards your direction, still with fancy clothes. You had not met him for more than a month, so seeing him run towards you was quite a surprise. He was panting and trying to catch a breath before he took a seat beside you, handing you his phone.

"Can I have your number?" He asked, half panting. 

You stared at his phone before looking him in the eyes.

"You asked for my number first but you never asked for my name," You joked. 

He scratched the back of his ears, feeling embarrassed. 

"That was not so gentleman of me right?" He offered his right hand to you.

"Let me introduce myself, my name is Choi Seungcheol and perhaps, may I know your name miss?" You laughed before accepting his hand and shook it. You introduced your name to him.

"And yes, I already know your name."

After that night, everything about you and him changed slowly but surely. It all started with your little meet up place by the river at midnight to late night eating at the nearest convenience store, then to meet him at a private room at a restaurant to have a decent dinner. Until the two of you went to each other's house to spend more time privately. Your little apartment was probably not even a quarter of his penthouse but he really loved your little space. He loved your apartment more than he loved his big fancy penthouse.

The night where he asked you to marry him was a quiet night, you were sitting next to each other in front of the TV, watching his first ever drama where he was the main lead. Your head was resting on his shoulder— your favorite place to lean on, before he suddenly got up from his seat, leaving you on your own to the bathroom. He was inside the bathroom for more than fifteen minutes and he left his phone. You decided to check on him. 

"Cheol? Is everything okay?" You knocked on the door and he didn't answer.

"Cheol?" You knocked impatiently. You were afraid that he passed out in the bathroom because his schedule was too hectic. You let out a sigh of relief when you heard the door getting unlocked, you also pushed the door and were welcomed by Seungcheol who was grinning.

"You scared me!" You hit his chest lightly but he caught your wrist.

He kneeled suddenly, hand reached the back of his shorts, pulling out a small blue turquoise-ish box. You knew that box very well.

"Cheol?" You called him softly.

"Love," He called you,eyes were getting watery.

"Will you spend the rest of your life with me?" His hands were trembling but his voice was firm. 

You dropped your knees to the ground and said “Yes, I will.” 

You hugged him tight like your life depends on it. He was crying when he slipped the ring on your finger.

About six months after the proposal, the two of you registered for the wedding. Seungcheol asked his two best friends as the witness. Jeonghan— Seungcheol's best friend and Seungkwan— Seungcheol's manager slash best friend. After the two of you registered the wedding, there was no reception, just a simple dinner with the witnesses..

You knew very well what you got yourself into, living as the wife of a famous celebrity, but you knew it was worth it because you did it with him. With Seungcheol. 

"Cheol, wake up." You poke Seungcheol's dimple. The man is sleeping peacefully in your queen size bed.

"Hmm?" Seungcheol tosses and turns on your bed. You giggle after successfully waking him up. You put your daughter beside him and Seungcheol acts like he is unaware of his baby on his side.

"Daddy…" Your daughter calls her father. 

Seungcheol giggles when his daughter pokes his dimple, following what you just did seconds ago. 

"Do you miss me, my lovely daughter?" Even though Seungcheol hasn’t opened his eyes, his hands wrap around his daughter perfectly. Seungcheol snuggles to his daughter, earning a giggle from his daughter.

"Shall we invite mama too?" Seungcheol asks his daughter and your heart warms up seeing them being cuddly with each other.

"Mama, come hereeee." Seungcheol imitates your daughter's voice. The bed deepens when you join them, Seungcheol is in the middle, you are on his right and your daughter is on top of him.  His hands wrap around the love of his life tightly. 

This is the morning he always wanted. 

"It feels nice to spend my morning like this." He whispers to your ear before kissing your temple lovingly.

"I know right? But it would be nice if you let me go and drive me to work like right now." Seungcheol groans and whines to his daughter who doesn’t understand a single thing his father says.

"And you need to drop her off at the day care," You add. 

"So I'm all alone?" Seungcheol asks and you nod. 

“Why don’t you take your paid leave and stay with me here– we can do all sorts of things together.” He groans. 

"Well, you can enjoy your rest day without anyone bothering you." You peck his lips quickly.

"And maybe– I have a surprise for you tonight." You throw a seductive wink at him and a grin grows on his face. 

He knows what you mean by a surprise. So, Seungcheol picks his daughter up with his morning hair that looks like he gets hit by a typhoon. It is a mess but you love seeing him like this in the morning. He looks natural. He looks just like an ordinary person, just like you.

"Mama have a surprise for daddy tonight, baby" Seungcheol talks to your daughter all giggling and she giggles with him. 

Seungcheol is driving you to work and it is his routine every time he has a day off or when his schedule starts at noon. He drives you to work with your car to make it less suspicious. He is busy taking care of his daughter, settling her in her car seat. He always makes sure that her seat is safe. Then Seungcheol proceeds to carry your daughter's bags and arranges them on the trunk.

"Honey, before I forget again– Jeonghan asked us to have dinner in his house this Saturday. Do you want to?"

"What's the occasion? it's not his birthday yet."

"He missed our daughter."

"Then he can baby sit her and we can have our long forgotten date night." You joke. 

Jeonghan loves your daughter so much, he will spoil her to death, but baby sitting your daughter? Jeonghan probably will join her for a tantrum session.

Jeonghan was a big shot investor in the filming industry. The Yoon family company basically invested in almost every successful movie in the country. Jeonghan met Seungcheol years ago when Seungcheol just started to play in a TV drama as a cameo. Jeonghan saw his potential and told the PD if he ever thought of casting Seungcheol again, he would gladly invest in their drama.

Jeonghan welcomed you when Seungcheol introduced you to him. Your personality and Jeonghan's clicked right away, and you didn't have any hard time to befriended with him. Same goes as Seungkwan, Seungcheol's manager. Seungkwan was putting his guard up so high when Seungcheol introduced the two of you and eventually put his guard down when he started to spend time with you

"Remember, pick her up at 5." You remind Seungcheol while gathering your work bag and laptop bag.

"Yes, honey!” He salutes at you that makes you chuckle at his silliness. You lean in for a quick kiss before looking at the back seat. 

"See you later, my lovely daughter.” You send a flying kiss to your daughter and she sends you a flying kiss too. 

Seungcheol drives away after you get off from the car. Along the way to your daughter day care, Seungcheol keeps talking to his daughter about everything he loves every time he has a day off. Driving you to work and his daughter to day care, picking you up from work and his daughter from day care, doing absolutely nothing in house means he has the chance to do the house chores the way he likes it— he just loves his day off so much because it gives him the feeling of a father who is busy with his family. 

"Here we are my lovely daughter, daddy will pick you up at five sharp!" He gets ready before getting out of the car. Seungcheol puts on his hoodie, his mask, and his sunglasses. He checks himself in the rear mirror for a second before getting out of the car. He unlocks the car seat, hold his daughter gently in his arms before opening the trunk to take out his daughter's bag.

"Oh? Mr. Choi? It's been so long." Mrs. Jang, the owner of the daycare greets Seungcheol.

"Good morning Mrs. Jang. I just got back from a business trip." He lies. 

"Sena, do you miss your dad?" Mrs. Jang asks Sena and she nods.

"Oh? Does my lovely daughter miss me so much? We will play together with mom later. Daddy will pick you up at five sharp today." Seungcheol puts his daughter down and she runs straight inside without saying goodbye to Seungcheol, earning a laugh from Seungcheol and Mrs. Jang.

"Mrs. Jang, please take care of our Sena today." Seungcheol bows before handing his daughter's bag.

"Yes, like wise Mr. Choi." Seungcheol waves at Sena who doesn’t even look back before heading to his car.

Seungcheol is back at his penthouse. Your car that he used earlier is now parked on an assigned parking spot and he changes to his own car. He does it to prevent getting caught by paparazzi that he rides in someone else's car. He checks his messages and Seungkwan only texted him to let him know that he is scheduled for a photo shoot tomorrow morning. 

Seungcheol starts his car and drives to his gym to meet his gym buddy slash his group mates, Wonwoo. 

Seungcheol is also a leader of a four member boy group; the group has been on hiatus since two years ago. The group consists of Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Hansol. Only Seungcheol and Hansol had a stage name, their stage name was S.Coups and Vernon. It's been so long since he met with the others, because their individual schedules are too packed and it’s making it hard to meet with each other. 

"Whats your menu for today?" Wonwoo asks.

"Leg day and you seem so eager to make your shoulder more broad." The younger guy scoffs at Seungcheol. 

"Are you still dating your girlfriend?" Wonwoo suddenly asks. 

"Suddenly? Why? And yeah we're still going strong now." Seungcheol answers. Technically he is not lying, because it is true that his relationship with you is still going strong– he just lies about the status. You are no longer his girlfriend, your status already got upgraded five years ago as his lawfully wedded wife. 

"Well, you know, I've been thinking about dating too but I'm afraid that because of me, she will get backlash." 

Seungcheol pulls the stops at the leg press machine. 

"Is she in the same industry?" Seungcheol asks. 

"No, she's an ordinary person. She's a lawyer." 

Seungcheol's grins grow wider because of Wonwoo love story that is way more interesting than the leg press machine.

It is almost lunch time when Seungcheol finishes his workout session. He has already finished taking a shower when he sees your messages. You ask him if he wants to grab lunch with you and of course Seungcheol agrees immediately without hesitation even though there is always a chance of getting caught by paparazzi. 

Seungcheol arrives at your office building and you are running to his car when you see his fancy car at the entrance. He is smiling from ear to ear when you run towards his car.

"I miss you so much." He pulls you into a hug right after you settle inside his car. 

"What do you want to eat for lunch?" You ask him.

"Oh? I thought you already brought one." He answers naturally because most of the time you already have the lunch ready, then the two of you will eat inside the car in the basement.  

"Should we eat out?" You suggest.

"Or is it too risky?" You change your mind because you are afraid to get caught in broad daylight by paparazzi. 

"No, let's eat out. What do you want to eat?"

Seungcheol always wanted to have a normal date like other couples. Having lunch or dinner outside, going to a viral restaurant or lining up to try a viral cafe with his loved ones, but he never did it before. He wants to act like a normal couple for once with you without the fear of getting caught by paparazzi. 

"Pork cutlet?" You suggest. 

"Nice choice!” He pinches your cheek gently. 

The pork cutlet place is not crowded even though it’s lunch time. You walk side by side with him, he is back on his ninja mode—that's how you like to call it. Nobody suspects anything, because it's really normal in your country to dress like that. You pick the furthest table that was blocked by a wall in case someone notices Seungcheol. 

You put orders for the two of you then when the worker finished taking your orders, Seungcheol lowered down his mask and took off his beanie. You hold his hands because you miss him so much and it's been so long since you eat out with him. .

"How was your work?" He asks. 

"Stresful as usual but I have more energy today because I can’t wait to go home and play with Sena and you!" You answer excitedly that makes him smile. 

Not long after the two of you are chatting, the food comes. The two of you dig in immediately while talking about this and that. When the two of you finish your food, you make your way to the cashier to pay while Seungcheol is waiting in front of the door, he is back in his ninja mode. You make your way to Seungcheol but stop at your track when you notice a group of teenage girls whispering to each other while pointing at Seungcheol. You know, Seungcheol's cover is busted. So you do what you need to do, you text him and tell him to go first without you.

Seungcheol looks back at you and you assure him with a nod before he walks away to his parked car. The group of teenage girls approach him, asking him a few questions and hands him anything for him to sign. He answers their questions happily and gives them a sign, before getting into his car and driving away.

You are watching their interaction before exhaling sharply and you are left alone, again.

Seungcheol pulls his car to the side. He calls you but you don’t pick up. He is afraid you will get caught or harassed by the paparazzi. As he almost starts to drive again, you call him back. You are in a taxi on the way back to your office. Seungcheol keeps saying sorry to you and leaves you all by yourself there but you assure him that it is fine and you know the consequences when eating out with him. Seungcheol feels a pang of guilt in his chest, bringing back the feeling that he already buries inside his heart and it starts to creep up. 

Seungcheol has been thinking about early retirement from the industry, not fully retired, just stopping appearing on the big screen. He will continue to produce and write music, but he cannot continue living his life like this for the rest of his life. He can't enjoy going to the amusement park with his little family. Accompanying you to the hospital for Sena’s check up or vaccination or going to your company end year dinner. He wants to have a normal life. He wants his family to live a normal life, like every other family.

It's 4.30pm and Seungcheol rushes to pick Sena up from day care. He thinks that it will be better to pick you up after office too. He arrives right at 5pm and all the other parents are already waiting for their baby to come out from the day care. He is waiting patiently until Sena's name gets called.

"Hello? Are you Sena's father?" A lady in his mid-thirties come up to Seungcheol.

"Ah? Yes, I'm Sena's father." Seungcheol bows.

"Finally I met you because every time I pick my son, I only meet with your wife, I'm Chan's mother." She introduces herself.

"Choi Sena is here!" Seungcheol's eyes light up when he hears his daughter's name.

"Here!" He waves his hands towards Sena. Making the little girl run to her dad with her little feet and falling right into Seungcheol arms.

"My baby, are you having fun? hmm?" Sena giggles.

"Thank you miss, see you tomorrow." He holds Sena's small hand and Seungcheol also bid his goodbye to Chan's mother.

"So you have a friend named Chan? He must be a boy right? He must like my Sena." Seungcheol talks to Sena.

"Daddy, mama?"

"Yes baby, let's go pick your mother up." He kisses Sena's cheek.

Tonight, the three of you are spending the night at Seungcheol's penthouse. You are taking a long relaxing bath after Sena successfully falls asleep in Seungcheol’s arms. It feels nice to let your body sink in a warm bath after a long day and you have zero worries about your baby because you are not alone tonight. 

You are relaxing in the bathtub, humming and singing along to the songs on the playlist you play for yourself until the bathroom door cracked open. Seungcheol with a smirk appears behind the bathroom door with a glass of wine in his right hand and a baby monitor in his left hand.

"Thank you," You sit straight up and take the wine glass off your husband’s hand and give your husband a sweet loving kiss on the lips.

"Are you going to join me or just stand there and stare at me?" You ask because Seungcheol couldn’t keep his eyes off you, he is staring at your face and your boobs alternately. 

"I'm waiting for the invitation and yes, I will gladly join you." 

You sip your wine while enjoying the view in front of you. Your husband strips his clothes one by one, like he is seducing you. His body never fails to make your breath hitch every time. You have seen it all, you have felt it, yet it never stops making your heart thumping hard.

"I see you are liking the view, my love." He says as he drops the last piece of his clothes, he takes his time to enter the bathtub, like he is teasing you. 

He sinks to the bathroom, facing you. The bathtub is big enough for the two of you but it feels suffocating, the atmosphere inside the bathroom has changed completely with Seungcheol naked in front of you. You offer him your wine and he gladly sips it. The way he never leaves his eyes from you when he sips the wine, making your stomach turn because of nervousness but  you know very well that he is teasing you. He can tease you and edge you without laying his hands on you, his eyes are enough. 

"Are we still playing this game?" You lean back and rest both your hands on the bathtub sides. 

He chuckles and scoots closer to you until he is close enough for you to wrap your legs around his waist. You let out a shaky sigh when you feel his hard length pressing on your stomach.

"I love to play this game with you, I love to see you look desperate and begging me." He whispers in your ear seductively, blowing a small air from his mouth to your ear before giving your ear a gently kiss. 

He plays with your damp hair, twirling it before tucking it behind your ear. His other hand was tracing a line along your thigh that made you shiver. While his eyes never leave yours, his eyes are getting dark, lust starts to take over him and you can clearly see the hunger in his eyes. 

"Please, kiss me." You beg, because you can’t take it anymore. 

Seungcheol smirks before leaning in to kiss you. The kiss is not sweet at all, it is full of hunger, desperation. It was messy.

Just like you love it. 

"Someone is too giddy?" Seungcheol teases you between kisses.

"You left me untouched for almost a month. I'm hungry for you. I need you." You say while trying to hide the moan that is on the tip of your tongue.

The beast that has been sleeping inside Seungcheol wakes up, he doesn’t even think twice to kiss you again, harder this time. He pulls you on top of him. You make yourself comfortable on top of him before wrapping your legs around his waist and grinding against his length. 

He is taking his time with you until the sound of Sena's crying voice blast through the baby monitor. She is crying frantically and calling your name. The two of you break the kiss and Seungcheol groans in frustration, this is the moment he's been waiting for. 

"You should enjoy your bath, I'll take care of Sena." As much as he wants to stay, he gets up from the bathtub. 

He kisses your lips quickly before getting out of the bath. He is drying and wrapping  his body as quickly as possible. Picking the clothes he takes off earlier and wearing it fast. He doesn’t even realize he wears his t-shirt inside out because he rushes to Sena’s room.

You peek behind Sena’s bedroom door after finishing your shower. Seungcheol is sleeping beside her with his arms wrapped around Sena, protecting his little angel from the monster under the bed. You tiptoe your way in, kissing your daughter's forehead good night and Seungcheol cheek too. You are not going to wake Seungcheol up, you are going to let them sleep soundly. When you pull the cover up, Seungcheol opens his eyes slightly before he smiles when he sees you. 

There is no word needed, his eyes speak enough for you to understand everything that he has in mind. Seungcheol moves very slowly, afraid that his movement can wake his little angel. Sena tosses a little, both you and Seungcheol are holding your breath. After making sure Sena is still in her dream land, Seungcheol gets out of bed. 

"Sweet dream, little angel." Seungcheol whispers before kissing Sena's cheek. 

Both of you make your way out of Sena's room quietly. His right arm wraps around your waist and his left hand is holding the baby monitor.

"Thank you, baby." You kiss Seungcheol on the cheek when the door behind you finally close. 

"What are you thanking me for?" Seungcheol asks, raising his eyebrow. 

"You let me take a long relaxing bath."

"Oh honey, you deserve it. You deserve the long relaxing bath more than anyone." He gently wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. 

You rest your head on his shoulder, wrapping your hands on his waist too. The hug is much needed after a long day and after not seeing each other for a long time. 

"Why don't you change your clothes? You still wear the bathrobe." Seungcheol says as he brushes his palm on your back. 

"I don't think I need to, because soon, I won't need to wear anything, right?" You whisper in his ear that sends a shiver down his spine. 

"You are so right, because I will be the one who takes it off." He says in a deep voice that make you gulp but you are not backing down tonight. 

You seduce him back before with loosening up the bathrobe but he captures your lips right away before you could do anything else. The two of you make your way to the main bedroom without letting go of each other's lips. Bumping here and there was not a big deal until he pins you against the door.

You hiss when your back hits the door, quite harsh but you love it so much, so you don’t say anything. You love him when he is desperate. 

"Baby, the monitor." You remind him while tapping on his shoulder, the man is busy kissing your neck. 

“Right!” Seungcheol realizes he probably left it on the counter somewhere along the way, he hurries to look for the baby monitor, his lips are swollen and his hair is already a mess because of you. 

You open the bedroom door and jump to the bed, waiting for Seungcheol to come back with an elbow supporting yourself so you are not fully lying down. The bedroom door handles creek and you smirk when you see your husband is coming looking all sexy especially he is holding a baby monitor in his hand. 

"What a good daddy," You tease him. 

He gently put the baby monitor on the nightstand before crawling his way to you.

"Am I?" He is caging you. 

He leans down until his face is close to you– close enough until you can feel his heavy breath on your face.

"You are a good daddy, that's why I want to give you a present." You push him, so he is lying on his back. You crawl on top of him, settling down just right above his hips, bending yourself so he can see your breast slightly behind the bathrobe. 

"I can't wait to receive it." He rests his head on the head board, hands behind his head. 

The smirk on his face grows wider when you pull your bathrobe tie loose, exposing your bare body. You kiss his chest seductively and keep going down without breaking eye contact with him.

"Daddy?" Sena is pointing at the TV in front of her.

"That's right baby, it's daddy on the TV." You are smiling because Sena seems so excited to see his dad on the TV.

"Mama, where is daddy?" You smile at her, an assuring smile while patting her head

"Daddy is working at the moment, baby. Do you miss daddy?" You ask her but her facial expression changes instantly. 

She is crying. 

"Baby, you miss daddy so much? Should we try to call him?" You pick Sena to your arms, trying to calm her down by calling her daddy. 

He doesn’t pick up his call, he is probably in the middle of shooting. So you send a message to Seungkwan, asking if Seungcheol is busy at the moment. Seungkwan replies right away, telling you that Seungcheol is doing an interview for his drama with his co-stars.

“Daddy is busy at the moment, baby. I’m sorry.” You hug your child, rocking her so she calms down.

Your phone rings, Seungkwan is calling you so you pick it up immediately.

"Hello? Seungkwan?"

"Hello, I’m sorry but Seungcheol is shooting at the moment, is there something important? Do you want me to pass the message to him? Or is it private?" He asks.

"Oh? no no, it’s fine. Sena is crying because she misses her daddy. She saw Seungcheol on the TV." You explain

"Aw, Sena missed his dad? Sena do you miss uncle too?" Seungkwan tries to calm Sena down with a joke. 

"Sena misses her uncle Kwan too— well, Seungkwan, thank you for calling me. I’m sorry for bothering you." You thank Seungkwan who always responds to your message fast.

"No worries, I will tell Seungcheol to call you as soon as his schedule is done." He assures you before he ends the call.

Sena is no longer crying, she is all smiley by now.

"Daddy is still working, he will call us as soon as he finishes working." You explain to Sena and she just nods before snuggling into your embrace.

"Sena, do you want to go on a date with mama?" You try to cheer her up and distract her until Seungcheol finishes with his work. 

"Do you want to go out? Shall we have a mama-daughter date?" Sena doesn’t understand yet what mama-daughter date is but she is excited and nods while giggling.

You help Sena change her clothes and get yourself ready. You pack Sena's necessities to her bag before going straight to your car. You send a message to Seungcheol to let him know that you are out on a date with Sena.

"Sena, what should we do first? Should we play in the park first?" You ask Sena while settling her down on her car seat.

"Park? I like it mama!" The sides of your lips make high curves seeing your daughter excited with the idea of playing in the park.

You arrive at the park and the park is much more crowded than usual, a lot of families come to picnic or accompany their child playing in the park’s playground. You let Sena run around with you chase her, before she makes friend with other kids, so you let her be. 

You are sitting on the playground bench with the other parents. You feel a little jealous of a family that comes and plays together, a complete family like that one family in front of you who are busy playing catch with their son. You let out a sigh that is a little bit too loud. 

"Are you okay?" A mother probably in her forties asks you. You don’t even realize that she is sitting beside you. 

"Oh? Sorry, did I sighed too loud?" You apologize. 

"No, no worries. I hope everything is going well for you." She gives you a sweet smile and you smile back at her. 

"It must be nice to play with a complete family like that, especially when their father is around" She continues. 

"Ah, sorry, I’m feeling a little emotional today." She apologizes. 

"No, it's fine. Are you okay?" You turn to face her, to make sure that she is okay. .

"Me? no. I'm not. I'm in the middle of my divorce proceedings. Stressful." She laughed. The laugh is not a happy laugh, it is a laugh that forces you to hide your hardship in front of others. 

"Oh no, I'm so sorry it happened to you." 

"No, don't be. It is the best decision I made this year. He kept me and my son like a secret, he didn't bring me and our son to his company's end of the year party or dinner. He rarely brought us to his family gathering—he didn't even want to be seen with us. It feels like I’m watching a drama." She ends her short story with a chuckle. 

"He thought I was too ugly to be seen with him. I used to be fucking pretty too—I just don't have time to take care of myself because I'm too tired to do it after doing the chores and taking care of our son." She keeps talking and you keep listening to whatever she needs to let out. 

"In the end, I caught him cheating with his so-called "work wife" whose younger and prettier—I'm sorry, I overshared." She clasps both her hands in front of her mouth and apologizes to you again. 

"No, no, it's fine. I'm glad that you talked about it to me, I hope your divorce proceedings finish neatly." Hearing her story makes you overthink about your marriage with Seungcheol because you are nobody. Nobody knows who you are and nobody knows that you have a superstar husband. You open your mouth, wanting to talk with the woman again but you hear the sound of your daughter crying.

You rush to your daughter who is lying on the ground just below the slide, she falls down from the slide. 

"Sena? Are you okay?" You try to calm her down. 

You hold her up and brush her clothes that were full of dust. Her knees get scratched because of the fall and her palms too. Thankfully the wound is not that big but seeing her crying frantically makes you panic. You carry her back to the bench while telling her that everything is going to be okay.

"It's okay, baby." You soothe her.  

The mother who talked with you earlier is pulling out an emergency medical kit from her bag.

"Here, always prepared because my son loves the ground so much." She gives you her medical kit bag. 

"Thank you so much." You sit Sena on the bench before taking the medical kit bag. 

"Honey, we're single fighters. We help each other." She says while patting your back. 

You give her a thankful smile even though you are not a single parent, deep inside you feel like one. Maybe it is because of all the commotion that happened today, it makes you tired to handle it all by yourself. 

You finish cleaning her wound then give back the medical kit bag to her. You thank her once again before bringing Sena to the toilet to change her clothes. While changing you keep your smile all the time, telling your daughter that it is totally normal to fall and the wound will be healed in no time. You try to hide the tears that almost spill from your eyes, you are tired doing these by yourself. You couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for all the single parents out there. 

You take Sena to her favorite pizza place, it is in a famous Italian restaurant not too far from the park. Seungcheol brought the pizza from there once and Sena loves it very much, so every time you want to eat pizza, you always order it from there. 

The drive to the restaurant is less than ten minutes, as you park your car, you let out a sharp exhale before putting a big smile for your daughter on her car seat in the back. 

“Let’s go, baby!” 

Upon arriving at the restaurant, the staff ushered you right away to a four sitter table. The staff tells you in advance there will be a group around twenty that already book, so it will be a little bit too noisy. You thank the staff and order right away because you already know what to order. 

The foods come quickly as you expected and you slice the pizza in smaller pieces for Sena. 

"Yummy!" She exclaims

“Eat a lot, baby.” You smile at her as you take a bite of your pizza.

"Mama? That is Daddy!" Sena points her finger towards the entrance. 

Your eyes follow Sena’s finger and it is Seungcheol but he is not alone. He is with the whole filming crew including his co-star. The door opens again and Seungkwan walks in with one phone between his ear and shoulder and he is busy typing on the other phone. 

"Daddy! Daddy!" Sena shouts, calling her daddy that successfully steals attention from the surrounding. 

Seungcheol recognizes that voice immediately. His baby’s voice that always runs to him every time he shows up behind the door. He knows it by heart. Seungcheol’s eyes wander to look for his baby, his daughter– until he spots the two of you sitting side by side. 

When you realize Seungcheol and the whole crew's eyes are on the two of you, you try to calm Sena down before everything turns to something worse. 

"Sena, let's continue to eat." You plea to your daughter who is still calling his daddy. 

"No, Sena wants daddy!" She cries out.

You glance behind your shoulder trying to see Seungcheol but you can’t because Sena is getting out of hand to handle. 

"Daddy!" Sena cries out Seungcheol's name. 

Seungcheol's heart wrecks to pieces when he hears it. He wants to run and hug his baby, he wants her in his arms. 

"What a pitiful lady, her daughter keeps calling you daddy. She probably doesn't have one, so she called every man she saw, her dad." Sumi, Seungcheol’s co-star, makes a rude comment and Seungcheol glares at her. 

"What did you say?" Seungcheol angrily asks. 

"Her mom probably watched too much drama with you as the main lead, so her baby called you his dad. Her mother should behave her child—I know she's a baby but she disturbs the whole restaurant." His co-star keeps rambling that makes Seungcheol’s blood boil.

Seungcheol couldn't believe what he just heard. He knows that his co-star has a problem with her attitude, but he can't tolerate this. She is humiliating his family. His blood. 

"You should watch your words." Seungcheol says coldly. 

Seungcheol drags his gaze to you again. Sena is trying to climb out from the baby chair, so when he sees Sena almost fall down, his heart drops to his stomach. He can’t move his feet because it feels like it is nailed to the ground. 

"I got you, baby." Jeonghan comes out of nowhere to catch her in time. 

You are surprised to see Jeonghan here but you are really grateful because you have no idea what to do if Sena really falls from her seat. 

"Jeonghan, thank you." You thank him and he only wink at you as his response. 

“No need to thank me and you should relax for a bit. I got you.” He notices right away how tense you are.

Jeonghan sees Seungcheol with the crew, in fact Jeonghan is the one who invited them to have dinner together to celebrate another successful drama with Seungcheol as their main lead.

"Let me borrow her quickly and you should take your time to eat.” Jeonghan squishes your shoulder gently before bringing Sena to where the crew are sitting. 

"Jeonghan, don't." You try to stop him  but Jeonghan is being himself, so he won’t listen to you. 

With Sena in his arms, he takes big and full of pride at every step. Seungcheol is looking at Jeonghan who is picking his daughter like she is Jeonghan’s. As Jeonghan is getting closer to the table, Seungcheol notices a scratch on Sena’s knees. 

"Evening everyone," Jeonghan greets them, picking Sena’s right hand and waves it. 

"Mr. Yoon, do you know this child?" Seungcheol co-star asks.

"Oh? I know this child very well and I know her mother very well. The pretty lady right there." Jeonghan points at you, who looks concerned.

"Oh? Is she your wife?" One of the crew asks.

"Oh? I wish." Jeonghan chuckles that makes the other chuckle too but not Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol hates that joke very much. 

"Daddy," Sena's hands reach out to Seungcheol and without hesitation, Seungcheol takes Sena in his arms naturally. 

The whole crew look at Seungcheol weirdly because the way Seungcheol takes Sena in his arms naturally and the way Sena looks comfortable around Seungcheol, raise suspicions from others. 

"Seems like Sena loves you so much, Seungcheol." Seungkwan, who just ended his phone call trying to ease the tension before he realizes, he calls Sena by his name. 

"Oh? Mr. Yoon, how are you?" Seungkwan switches the topic right away to Jeonghan.

"Oh, Seungkwan, how are you? You look so busy these days." Jeonghan plays along with Seungkwan.

"Ah, no no, Seungcheol just has so many calls, but everything is under control." Seungkwan steals glances at Seungcheol who is busy playing and talking with Sena. 

"Uncle Kwan," Sena giggles while calling Seungkwan name. 

Seungkwan looks at Jeonghan, asking for help. 

"Does Sena remember Uncle Seungkwan?" Jeonghan plays along while stealing Sena back to his arms from her dad. 

"Of course Sena remembers me, right Sena?" Seungkwan leans in towards Sena, makes her giggle.

"Well, is it okay if my dear friend and her child join us for dinner?" Jeonghan asks everyone at the table and of course nobody dares to object to the investor. 

You end up sitting beside Jeonghan awkwardly with Sena in her baby chair. Seungcheol is sitting in front of you and you feel a little bit uncomfortable seeing how his co-star is sitting too close to him. You are jealous of her because she is younger, prettier, and skinnier. 

"Are you jealous?" Jeonghan whispers in your ear.

"Huh? No, why would I?" You smile at him, trying to change your expression, so it is not too obvious. 

Jeonghan chuckles before resting his hands on the back of your chair. Jeonghan's actions earn him whistles from here and there, because they are still thinking that you are with Jeonghan.

Seungcheol's eyes are burning with jealousy, he knows his best friend too well. He knows that Jeonghan purposely makes him jealous and boy, it is working. The others are busy chatting and drinking while Seungcheol never leaves his eyes from you. 

"You should eat." Jeonghan says to you. 

"I’m fine, I’m not that hungry." You give Jeonghan a smile before looking at Seungcheol for a mere second. 

"Let me feed her." Jeonghan stands up and moves his chair so he is sitting beside Sena and that successfully makes Seungcheol angry. 

Seungcheol kicks your feet gently under the table, signaling you to meet him in the toilet at the back. You try to put on a poker face before standing up from your seat and excuse yourself to the restroom. 

"Jeonghan, I’m going to the restroom for a while.” 

"Take all the time you need. Sena is happy with me." Jeonghan says as he happily feeds Sena the pizza. 

You walk rather quickly to the women’s room. You stand in front of the mirror and stare at your reflection. Eye bag under your eyes, your hair that you clipped carelessly—you haven't had time to go to the salon to do your hair. Your hair was getting long and messy. You didn't even remember when you had time for yourself, going to a spa, to a nail salon, you just didn't have the time for yourself. You let out a deep sigh before getting out of the women’s room. 

As you push the door, Seungcheol is already standing in front of the door, not too far from the men’s room door. He doesn’t say anything, even a simple hello– he pulls you to the side, so nobody won't find the two of you there. 

"Hey, what happened?" You ask calmly.

"What are you doing here? Did Jeonghan tell you that we're having a staff dinner here?" He asks, his tone was higher than your liking, both hands on his waist. 

He is pissed and you can’t do anything about it. 

"First of all, I'm taking my daughter to eat in her favorite restaurant and second, I don't even know that you will be having dinner here with your crew." You bark back as you fold your arms in front of your chest. 

"Then why did you act like you were a couple with Jeonghan?" He scoffs and it starts to get into your nerves.

"I didn't? We literally just sit there and eat our foods for God's sake. I don't even make any comments about how your co-star is acting all annoying and touchy with you." You finally snap at him, huffing at the end because you are so done. 

You are tired. 

"Oh please, we're just co-star. You know how I feel about her and why didn't you clarify that you are not with Jeonghan? You can at least deny it." Seungcheol counters back as he raises his eyebrows.

"Should I deny it in front of your whole crew and clarify that you are my husband instead? Is that what you want?" There is no friendly tone in the way you talk with him. 

"Do you want me to tell the whole damn world that Choi Seungcheol, the top star, is my husband? That we have already married for five years? That we have a daughter that misses her father so much she has been crying the whole day calling your name? Do you know how stressed I was when you walked through that door and Sena kept calling your name? Do you know how hard it is to act like we didn't know you at all? So you know how hurt I am seeing your daughter cry your name but you act like you don't know her? Like she is not your own blood and flesh?" You keep talking, don't give Seungcheol a single chance to talk– to interrupt you. 

Your tears are finally coming out from your eyes and you don’t even bother to wipe it. 

"Do you think that you are the only one hurting?" Seungcheol finally speaks up, feeling hurt with your words. 

"Then you should do something." And then you leave.

You leave the love of your life there, still shocked after hearing everything you have said. His heart is racing because he is mad. Not with you, but with himself.

You compose yourself for a moment and make your way back to the table acting like nothing happened but Jeonghan notices it right away.

"I think we should get going. It's almost Sena's bed time." You say to Jeonghan while gathering your things.

"Oh right, do you want me to take you home?" Jeonghan offers but you reject it right away. 

You give Seungkwan a small smile while he is helping you. 

"Thank you everyone for the dinner, we'll be going first. Sena, say thank you." You pick Sena up.

"Thank you!" Sena says cutely while bowing. 

Everyone is giggling because of Sena's cuteness and as you excuse yourself once again, you meet with Seungcheol again. You don’t even offer him a smile, you walk past him with Sena in your arms. Like you don’t know him at all. 

Jeonghan follows you to the car, he holds Sena’s bag and he walks by your side. 

"Did the two of you fight?" Jeonghan asks calmly after he settles Sena on her car seat. 

You nod and the tears start to pour down again from your eyes. You are really tired and you can't even talk about it to anyone. You've been keeping it to yourself, you don’t even talk about it to Seungcheol because you know he is also tired and stressed because of his work. You just don’t want to burden him more.

"Oh my." Jeonghan pulls you into a hug. 

A hug from a friend that you need the most because at the moment, only Jeonghan knows how hard it is for you. 

One of the crew sees the two of you in the parking lot, hugging. He runs back to the restaurant and announces it to the whole table. Seungcheol's face turns more sour, he is not done with being angry with himself, with the situation, and now he is burning with jealousy.

"Just stay for ten minutes more then I will make excuses so we can go early." Seungkwan whispers and Seungcheol doesn't even respond to Seungkwan. 

He is burning inside; he is angry with himself, he is angry with the situation, he is angry with Jeonghan because he should be the one who hugs you tightly and assures you, not him.

You just finished putting Sena to sleep, she keeps asking for her daddy and it hurts you so much that her daddy is not beside her at the moment. Sena is already at the age where she starts to understand about her surroundings and especially her parents

You plop yourself to the sofa, taking a long deep breath in and out to relax yourself even though your mind is not relaxing at the moment after fighting with Seungcheol earlier. Your mind is full of thoughts and  questions regarding your marriage with Seungcheol. You sigh and close your eyes for a moment. 

You never had any doubts regarding your marriage with Seungcheol but today is totally different from any other fights you had with him before. You are afraid that Sena is feeling lonely, she doesn’t have anyone else beside you and Seungcheol. You have no family, your parents passed away since you were in high school. You have no siblings and so does Seungcheol. The two of you have no family beside each other.

Especially with Seungcheol who is busy with his work, he rarely goes home. You are afraid that Sena starts to feel unfamiliar with her own father. 

Tears start to come out again but you brush it off when you hear your apartment door unlocked.

"Honey?" Seungcheol calls out but you refuse to answer him and make your way to the kitchen.

"Love, are you mad at me?" Seungcheol tries to stop you by grabbing your wrist.

"I'm tired, Seungcheol. Can we talk about this tomorrow?" You brush him off and continue your way to the kitchen.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He follows you to the kitchen, he stomps his way to the kitchen. 

"I am not, Cheol. I'm just tired." You stop him before he could go any further towards you. 

"I am also tired, honey. You are not the only one." He lets out a frustrated sigh, both of his hands rest on his waist– His face clearly shows how tired he is but you just can’t talk in a right mind with him at the moment. 

"I know that you are tired too, Cheol. I understand. But did you know how tired I was? How do I need to handle everything by myself? You rarely go home. You never came to the parent-teacher meeting. You never played with Sena in the playground. Do you know she was crying the whole day asking for his daddy? Do you know we tried to video call you once?” You take a deep breath and wipe the tears on your face. 

“Do you know I had to be the annoying wife that called her husband's manager just to ask about her own husband? Did the husband respond to her wife's text or call? Did you know that Sena fell on the playground and she was a crying mess and I was the only one who needed to calm her down and clean the wound? Do you know how hopeless I am?" Tears are streaming down your face. You can’t even stand anymore, you squat yourself down, head down. 

"I'm trying my best here. I really do." Seungcheol sounds defeated. 

He is hurting and so do you. 

Seungcheol is hurting to see you like this and you are hurting because you know, you just hurt him. 

"I know but I feel like I'm all alone in this. I'm tired of being hidden. For acting like a mistress. To stay hidden and untouchable from the outside world, for putting an act in front of everyone that my husband is a very busy business man that works on the other side of the world. Well, at least I can bear it all but Sena? Sena needs her father." You push yourself up and leave him in the kitchen by himself. 

You go straight to Sena's room, lying yourself down on the carpet slowly, not daring to make any noise, afraid that Sena will wake up because of you.

Seungcheol is still standing in the kitchen. He doesn’t move an inch. He stays there for a long time, his shoulder slumps like he is defeated. His mind is messy with everything that is happening at the moment. He knows very well how hurt you are because of him and it wrecks him. He takes his car key and leaves. 

Seungcheol doesn’t drive right away. He takes a breather inside the car, resting his head on the head rest. He takes his phone and sends Mingyu a simple message to let him know that he is on his way to his place. 

"Well damn you look wreck as hell." It is the first thing Mingyu says when he opens his apartment door. 

Mingyu is Seungcheol's group mates along with Wonwoo and Vernon. Mingyu knows about Seungcheol’s relationship but he doesn’t know the relationship has bloomed into something more serious– marriage.

"So, what's wrong?" Mingyu asks while pouring the whiskey.

"I had a fight, a big one." Seungcheol says then he drinks the Whiskey in one breath. 

Mingyu scoffs after seeing Seungcheol drink the Whiskey like it was a tequila and Mingyu is hundred percent sure the fight is taking a big toll in Seungcheol. 

"With your girlfriend?" Mingyu asks, trying to act like he doesn’t know it as he sips his Whiskey gracefully, a total opposite of what Seungcheol is doing. 

“Yes.” Seungcheol sighs defeatedly. 

"Oh? I thought you broke up already? I mean there's a rumor that you date your co-stars." Mingyu turns his seat to face Seungcheol. 

It is just Mingyu’s way to get all the information he needs. Mingyu knows the rumor of him dating his co-star is just another baseless rumor– he just lures him to spill all the beans Seungcheol has been keeping to himself.

"No, I’m not dating my co-star and actually we’re past the stage of girlfriend and boyfriend." Seungcheol looks at Mingyu dead in the eye and Mingyu pours another drink into Seungcheol glass. 

“What do you mean you passed the dating phase? Did you already propose to her?” Mingyu takes down the remaining whiskey in his glass. 

“We’re married.” Seungcheol says casually that makes the man beside him choke on his drink. 

"You what? What the fuck?" Mingyu doesn’t believe what he just heard, he is standing right now, marching back and forth while saying whoa for the nth time. His hands are covering his mouth on the floor at the moment. 

“You? Already married? Since when? For fuck sake.” Mingyu asks, frustrated because this information is not something that someone can casually drop. 

"It's been five years and next month is our sixth anniversary." Seungcheol chuckles bitterly after remembering their wedding anniversary next month. He pours the whiskey to his glass again and sighs hard before downing his drink.

"You gotta be kidding me—how could, how come we didn't know?" Mingyu sits down and holds both of Seungcheol's shoulders while shaking him lightly. 

"Seungkwan and Jeonghan know." 

Mingyu is speechless again. 

"Just them? The two of them?" Mingyu is shaking his head in disbelief. 

"I have a daughter too you know, she's so pretty just like her mom. Do you want to see her?" Another bomb is dropped casually and Mingyu can’t wait for another shocking news to be dropped casually by his leader. 

Mingyu is dumbfounded at this point. He is just processing the word of marriage and suddenly Seungcheol brings up his daughter. 

"How in the world do you keep it hidden so well? Your wife must be so tired to hide from the rest of the world." Mingyu suddenly feels sympathetic towards you and Seungcheol only gives him a wry smile.

"She's so cute right?" Seungcheol doesn’t want to answer Mingyu's question because he knows the answer already, so he pulls his phone out and shows Mingyu photos of Sena.

“She is super cute but I really need to know every detail that I’ve been missing since five years ago.” Mingyu demands as he takes out another bottle of whiskey for his friend. 

The second bottle of Whiskey is for Seungcheol. Mingyu doesn’t drink that much because his mind should be in the right place to proceed with every new information that is out from Seungcheol’s mouth. As much as Mingyu wants to be mad at Seungcheol for hiding such an important thing from him, Mingyu chooses to stay silent and listen to his best friend ramble. Seungcheol even cried at some point. Seungcheol keeps saying that he is sorry for you to handle it all by yourself. Seungcheol is mad at himself because he hides you from the rest of the world like a secret that needs to be kept.

Mingyu takes Seungcheol back to his apartment when the clock strikes at three in the morning. Mingyu even fell asleep at some point on the sofa and sober himself first before driving the drunk man back. Mingyu knows Seungcheol’s apartment but he never let anyone come inside, Seungcheol always said it is his private property so nobody is allowed to come in. Mingyu glances at the older guy who is sleeping on the back seat– he is sleeping with his mouth open. 

“Private property my ass, you have been hiding your wife and daughter there.” Mingyu says to the sleeping Seungcheol. 

After hearing Seungcheol left earlier, you end up falling asleep on the carpet in Sena's room. You are awakened by the apartment doorbell that keeps ringing. You reach your hands out to look for your phone and it is three in the morning. You push yourself up before tiptoeing your way out from Sena’s room. When you close Sena’s room, you rush to check the front with the intercom. 

The intercom shows Mingyu who is holding drunk Seungcheol. You unlock the door right away and run to the front door. Mingyu has difficulty keeping the man in line while opening the damn door because one wrong move, the drunkard will fall. You hurried to pull the door open, to let both of them in. 

"Hello, it's finally nice to meet you. I'm sorry we met this way but your husband's ass is so heavy." Mingyu greets you with a big smile on his face whereas he is struggling to carry Seungcheol. 

“I’m so sorry for bothering you, just drop him on the couch.” You apologize to Mingyu and helps him to bring Seungcheol to the couch. 

Mingyu throws Seungcheol's body to the couch and he sits himself right away at the carpeted floor right in front of the couch. 

"Your husband is really something else– he is getting more buff these days and I’m sorry for not introducing myself properly. My name is Mingyu, Kim Mingyu." Mingyu offers his hand to you and you shake his hand while introducing yourself.

"We should have met long long ago but this big guy right here decided to keep you under the radar." Mingyu nudges the side of Seungcheol’s waist, making the drunk man groan in his sleep and you answer him with a dry laugh. 

"I’m sorry, let me get you a drink. Is cold water okay for you?" 

“Yes, that’s what I need the most right now.” Mingyu smiles at you and you hurry to the kitchen. You grab a bottle of cold water from the fridge but stop for a moment. This is the first time you have met Seungcheol's friends other than Seungkwan and Jeonghan. You have seen Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Vernon from TV or in the concert but you never talk with them in person, you only know each of them from Seungcheol’s story. 

You make your way back to the tired Mingyu who is half sleeping on the carpeted floor until he sees you. He sits straight right away and takes the bottle you give him. 

"Thank you." He thanked you before cracking the bottle cap. Mingyu gulps down the water in one breath like he just finished a marathon.

"I wish I could meet Sena, but she must be sleeping right now." Mingyu says while giving you a friendly smile.

"Yes, she is sleeping right now." You don't know what to say further, so you only answer the question as it is. You still feel awkward meeting one of Seungcheol’s best friends directly because you only know them from his stories only. 

“I know it must be surprising for you to meet someone else from Seungcheol’s life other than Seungkwan and Jeonghan. As much as he is a big pain in the ass, he is still my best friend and my best friend's wife is also my best friend. So, just think of me as one of your friends.” Mingyu assures you. 

"Thank you, Mr. Kim." You thank him formally and Mingyu's facial expression changes right away, like he is hurting because you call him in a formal way. 

"Please, call me Mingyu. No need to be formal with me." 

“I will try.” You offer him a friendly smile that makes Mingyu laugh because everyone in this room–sadly it’s only the two of you in the room, three including Seungcheol, can feel the awkwardness out of you.  

"Sena, my baby, Sena." Seungcheol babbles in his sleep. You and Mingyu look at each other before looking at Seungcheol that keeps babbling and calling your name too. 

"Well, that's my cue to take my leave then. I hope the problem ends well." Mingyu stands on his feet and walks to the front door. You escort him to the front door, waiting for the man to wear his sandals. 

“Are you sure you don’t need my help to move him to the room?” He asks once again, hand already on the door handle. 

“No, he is fine on the couch.” You joke to ease the awkwardness between you and Mingyu. 

“Can’t agree no more. I’m taking my leave then,” Mingyu nods a little to you. 

“Thank you, drive safe!” As he leaves, you close the door. You walk to the living room, right to your drunk husband who is still sleeping on the sofa with his brows knit together like he is thinking hard in his sleep. That is his habit when he has something in his mind, he doesn’t sleep peacefully.

"Baby, wake up. Let's get you to bed." You tapped his cheek lightly to wake him up but he didn't budge at all. 

"Baby?" You call him again, still tapping his cheek lightly. Seungcheol's eyes flutter and he looks at you for a moment before he pushes himself up with his elbow to sit straight up on the sofa. 

"Love?" He still calls your name shaky. 

"It's me, I'm here." You take his cold hands and he pulls you into his laps, you fall right to him and he immediately wraps his arms around you, head resting on your shoulder. He is showering your shoulder with little kisses. 

"I'm sorry." He says as he looks up to you so his eyes meet yours. 

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." You apologize, giving his hands a squish. 

"No, I'm a total jerk. I am a bad husband. I don't deserve all the love you and Sena give to me." He shakes his head and tears start to form in his eyes again. 

"Don't say that, you deserve it. I'm just too tired and finally exploding. I'm sorry for talking to you that way." You hug him tight. 

"I deserve it more than anyone in this whole world. I'm sorry. I never have any intention to hide you from the whole world, I'm too selfish." Seungcheol says as the tears in his eyes finally make their way down to his face. You feel his tears on your shoulder and you tighten the hug even more. The two of you stay there for a moment longer, to reflect on everything that happened today.

"Shall we go to the bathroom? Let's wash your face, brush your teeth and change your clothes." You say as you help him to get up and walk to the bathroom. You sit him down on the closed toilet, put a hairband around his head.

You are busy washing his face with a damp cloth with his hands on your waist. He keeps squishing your waist even though it is a gentle squish, it’s still distracting you. 

“You know, there is a Japanese drama that is very similar to our story—the father is a top idol who is secretly married to an amazing woman with three children. His group member finds out and demands him to remove him from the group.” Seungcheol murmurs as you rub his face gently with a facial wash. 

“And?”

"And I think it will hurt me more to get kicked out from the group" He chuckles but not a funny one. A sad chuckle.

“What are you thinking, hon?” You ask him straight to the point and stop rubbing his face. 

"Retirement." Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear him saying the word retirement. 

"It's not because of our fight—I've been thinking about it for a while. I think I have done enough." He gives you an assuring smile with bubbles from the facial wash.  

"But you love your job, hon." You remind him and you continue to wash the bubbles away from his face.

"Lets talk about this later okay? When you are sober." You say and he nods.

Last night was a moment that you will remember for the rest of your life, not just you but Seungcheol too. That was the first time you had a huge fight with him and even though the two of you made up not long after, the two of you haven’t finished the talk about retirement. The most important thing right now is you are being woken with kisses and giggles from Seungcheol and Sena.

"Good morning, Mama!" Seungcheol exclaims as he sees your eyes open. 

"Morning, Mama!” Sena follows Seungcheol with giggles. 

"Morning the love of mama’s life." Both of your hands stretch out to hug them both. Sena is getting squished between you and Seungcheol.

Sena let out a squeal when Seungcheol attacked her with a tickle. Seungcheol doesn’t stop there, he attacks you with kisses all over your face that makes you laugh uncontrollably. 

A morning like this is what you wish for. The love of your life, lying beside you, annoying or tickling each other. Your heart warms up because you will exchange the world just for this moment. Most of the time, Seungcheol already left for his schedule even before Sena was awake. 

"Sena, let's prepare breakfast for mama!" Seungcheol says to Sena that makes the little girl jump from the bed like she is ready to conquer the kitchen. 

"Let's go, daddy!" Sena exclaims happily.

Seungcheol gives you a kiss on your forehead before running to catch up with Sena who is already waiting at the door. Seungcheol picks Sena up before he opens the door and he closes it slowly and before the door closes fully, Seungcheol winks at you. 

You stretch yourself on the bed, looking for a comfortable position. The smile hasn’t left your face and you hope it will stay all day. You hear a utensil falling and it makes a very loud sound but you don’t care. You don’t care if your kitchen will get messy or if any of your kitchen utensils breaks, because the most important thing is, Sena is making memories with his daddy.

The utensils can be replaced, the mess can be tidied, but the memories will last forever. 

Your hand reaches out to the night stand beside the bed, you grab your phone and as you unlock your phone. There are messages from Seungkwan, not just two or three messages but a bunch of it. There are five missed calls from Seungkwan and you know something is happening. You open the messages and most of it is asking for Seungcheol to answer his call and Seungkwan telling you to not panic. 

You jump right out from the bed, heart racing and you hold yourself to look Seungcheol’s name on the internet in the meantime. Your right hand is already holding the door handle but before you open your bedroom door, you try to calm yourself first before delivering the news to Seungcheol. 

"Cheol," You call his name softly with a smile on your face, a smile that only Seungcheol could understand. The smile on his face fades right away when he sees your face. He kisses the top of Sena’s head before walking towards your direction. 

"I don't know what happened but please call Seungkwan back." You hold both of his hands, giving it a gentle squish. 

“I’ll be right back.” Seungcheol kisses your temple before making his way to the bedroom. 

He grabs his phone on the night stand, the phone he hasn’t touched since last night. As he unlocks his phone, tons of messages from Seungkwan flood in, there are missed phone calls from his CEO and Joshua, head of PR. Seungcheol's hands are quick to find Seungkwan contact and calls him right away. 

"Where have you been? I've been calling you!" No greeting or small talk from Seungkwan only means one thing and it is not a good sign. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't check my phone at all." Seungcheol apologizes right away as he takes a seat at the end of the bed. 

"You are all over the news— someone leaked to the paparazzi that you are dating Ahn Sumi." Seungcheol lets out a heavy sigh as he leans his head against the head board. 

Another day, another dating scandal.

"Well? It's not a big deal. You know the truth, Kwan." Seungheol says, trying to keep his calm. 

"I know the truth but there is another rumor involving your family. So, you are two timing Ahn Sumi and have a secret family." Seungkwan explains and Seungcheol body tense immediately. 

"Come again?" Seungcheol stands up, he doesn’t believe what kind of nonsense the paparazzi has made. Seungcheol pinches his nose bridge and closes his eyes as he listens to Seungkwan's explanation. 

"I think the paparazzi bribed the crew from our last drama shooting. Your rumor with Ahn Sumi—considered it done, I have talked with Joshua regarding this. Her management is already in contact with Joshua but the problem is we need your clarification for your secret family." Seungcheol's head throbs again, it's not because of the alcohol he consumed last night with Mingyu but it's because of the sudden stress that creeps in. 

"I am not going to deny it, Kwan. You know it."

"I know, Cheol but the company thinks that you are still single. They think you are still dating." Seungcheol lets out a heavy sigh. His head snaps to the bedroom door when he hears the door is being open. Sena’s head pokes from the door, giving Seungcheol a smile. A very genuine smile that makes Seungcheol's heart warm instantly. 

"Sena, daddy is working." You are coming from behind, picking Sena up and before closing the door, you give Seungcheol your biggest and assuring smile. A small gesture to let Seungcheol know that he is not alone.

Seungcheol knows, he can't pretend anymore. He can't live a double life like this anymore. He can't hide you and Sena any longer. The whole world needs to know that Seungcheol is in fact not single. He is a husband to an amazing wife and a father to her loving daughter. He is done playing pretend.

He wants to drop and pick you up from the office. He wants to come to the teacher-parents meeting. He wants to be a father that always came to her daughter's recital. He doesn’t want to hide behind the mask, sunglasses, and hat. He wants the whole world to know his world; his everything.

He wants to be present in your and Sena’s life.

"Seungkwan, I think it's time." Seungkwan knows exactly what Seungcheol means by that. So Seungkwan lets out a deep exhale. 

"I'm going to set up a meeting in an hour. Is that okay?"

"Yes, I'm going to have breakfast first with my family then I will go straight to the office."

"Okay,"

"Seungkwan, thank you." On the other line Seungkwan's breath gets caught in his throat. Seungcheol never forgets to thank everyone who works with him. He always thanks everyone sincerely and he always thanks Seungkwan. 

Ten years of working as Seungcheol’s manager and this gratitude feels deeper, and meaningful yet hurt at the same time. 

"Just so you know, I always got your back. No need to thank me." Seungkwan doesn’t let Seungcheol reply to his words, he ends the call right away. 

Seungkwan knows what’s on Seungcheol's mind— he thinks of early retirement. Seungcheol jokes about it sometimes to Seungkwan. At first, Seungkwan takes it as a joke but seeing how drained Seungcheol is for these past months—Seungkwan knows sooner or later, the topic will come out from Seungcheol’s mouth not as a joke anymore. 

Seungcheol is back in the dining room with a smile on his face. He kisses Sena's cheek multiple times until Sena shrieks with happiness. Then he walks towards you, who is still busy flipping the pancakes on the pan. He hugs you from behind while pampering your shoulder with kisses until you giggle because how ticklish it feels on your skin. 

"Something is up." Seungcheol whispers, resting his head on your shoulder. 

"I know, I checked it on the internet already. Are you okay, honey?" You ask softly while brushing your thumb against his arms that wraps around your waist

"I'm not." Seungcheol says honestly. 

Seungcheol rarely shows the side where he burns out, he always acts tough in front of you and Sena because he doesn’t want you to be worried but he is too tired to pretend that he is tough. 

"Seungcheol, my love." You call his name softly, turning off the stove then facing him.  

You put your hand on the side of his face, giving it a subtle brush with your thumb. 

"You can do anything you want. Whatever your decision is, I just want you to know that you have me. I got you." Seungcheol couldn't hide his tears anymore, he let his tears run down his face.

"Daddy don't cry." Sena's little voice makes Seungcheol choke on his tears even more. He drops to the ground and hugs Sena tightly. 

You can’t hide the tears anymore, you drop to your knees, following Seungcheol. His hands wrap around you and Sena tightly. 

Everything he needs is wrapped around him. 

"Thank you, my love." Seungcheol whispers in your ears.

Pi Cheolin, The CEO of Seungcheol management massages both his temples. He laughed like a maniac when he first read the rumor first thing in the morning. Seungcheol dates his co-stars? Never. Seungcheol has a long time girlfriend? He knows about it. Does Seungcheol have a family? What nonsense this gossip forum spouting. 

But when Seungcheol came in fifteen minutes ago, dropping the truth. Pi Cheolin laughs, he laughs again. Not just maniacally laugh, a very scary stressful laugh. He doesn’t know how to react, so he just laughs as his coping mechanism.  

The other three sit in silence. Vernon and Wonwoo are processing whatever the hell Seungcheol said just now and Mingyu, who just happened to know about it less than twelve hours ago, chooses to keep his mouth shut. 

"Why didn't you tell us? We basically a fucking family and you hide a big news like this from us?" The first comment is coming from Vernon out, everyone in the room never expects that Vernon will be the one who talks. 

"We just met recently in the gym—we even talked about your relationship." Wonwoo feels betrayed by Seungcheol.

"You don't want to say anything, Gyu?" Pi Cheolin asks Mingyu who keeps silent the whole time. 

Mingyu looks around, trying to read the situation in the room. 

"No, I knew about this last night." Mingyu says honestly. 

Vernon scoffs, he gets up from his seat, walks towards the window with both hands on his hips. Vernon laughs to himself, he feels like he is the only one who doesn’t know about anything. 

“I feel so left out.” Vernon lets out a heavy sigh. 

"I'm sorry." Seungcheol’s head is getting heavier, he doesn’t even dare to look his group member– his family in the eye.

“What a good leader you are– betraying your own members, your family– oh do you still think of us as a family? Because the last time I remember, you are the one who always talks about us as a family.” Wonwoo says to Seungcheol, his tone was flat and cold.

Mingyu, who is sitting beside Wonwoo, tries to calm him down. Mingyu’s hands are already on Wonwoo’s shoulder, to keep him from going anywhere or worst case, to stop him from punching Seungcheol. 

"Let's fight after this but what are you gonna do right now, Seungcheol? Joshua already talked with Sumi's management to deny the allegation but what are you gonna do about your alleged family?" Seungkwan asks Seungcheol. Seungkwan’s phone never stopped ringing since the news broke out in the morning. 

"I'm not going to deny it. I'm going to come clean that I have a wife and a daughter. I'm also going to announce my retirement." The last word snapped everyone's head to Seungcheol. 

Silence. 

Everyone in the room couldn't believe what they just heard.

"Your what?" Pi Cheolin asks again to confirm Seungcheol's words. 

"My retirement." Seungcheol says without any hesitation. 

"Oh my—" Seungkwan closes his eyes. He is cursing under his breath because all the prayers he chanted all morning goes to waste. 

Pi Cheolin drops his head to his desk, he feels defeated. Vernon's jaw is on the floor. Wonwoo rubs his temple. Mingyu gets up from his seat and stands beside Vernon. 

"I've been thinking about it for months and today is my last straw. I can't hold it any longer. I want to live like an ordinary person who is married and has a family.” Seungcheol says, his eyes already full with tears.  

“I want to have lunch with my family in a family restaurant just like any other family. I want to attend my daughter's parents-teacher meeting. I want to pick up my wife from work and go to her company's annual dinner. I just want to enjoy my life as a husband and a father. I want the world to know my whole world." Tears start to stream down on his face. 

Seuncheol’s head hangs low, he can’t even look his group member in the eye, all the staff that have worked hard from the very first time he debuted up until now. 

"Okay," Pi Cheolin claps both of his hands loudly, stealing the attention from everyone in the room. 

"Let's do exactly that." Pi Cheolin continues. 

"I'm sorry, what?" Joshua asks, he propped his head up. 

"Let's have a press conference and a formal announcement letter." Pi Cheolin says as he stands up from his seat, walking towards Seungcheol. Pi Cheolin stands right behind the man, putting both of his hands on Seungcheol’s shoulder. 

“We’re going to make a clarification once and for all. Let Ahn Sumi management post a clarification, we will stay still until tomorrow. We’re going to hold a press conference regarding his status as a married man.” Everyone starts to murmur after hearing Pi Cheolin’s strategy. 

“Isn’t it too risky?” Joshua asks.

“It is, everything is too risky at this point, but trust me.” Pi Cheolin squishes Seungcheol’s shoulder lightly. 

Joshua inhales sharply because he knows that he won't be able to sleep soundly for at least a week and the entire PR team will pull an all-nighter.

"Are you serious? What about his reputation? What about us? Are you going to disband us? I don’t want us to disband." Vernon says nonstop. 

“I’m going to retire, that means I’m going to quit the group.” Seungcheol says and Wonwoo scoffs. 

“After all the mess you made, you are going to quit? What about us? What about your so-called family that you left behind? It’s so easy for you to say that." Anger takes over Wonwoo, he walks out from the meeting room. 

“Wonwoo,” Seungcheol wants to run after him but Pi Cheolin keeps him at his seat. 

“Let the man cool off.” Pi Cheolin says to Seungcheol. 

“The most important thing is, we don’t need to worry about anything. The Seungcheol scandal won’t harm the group and everything will work as I imagine. Trust me.” Shiver runs down Seungcheol's spine, he knows Pi Cheolin is a hella good CEO but hearing him solve the problem directly, this is the first time ever. 

"Joshua, you need to start contacting our investors— especially Mr. Yoon Jeonghan. Then contact every brand that endorses and collaborates with Seungcheol. Also contact the media. Get the legal team to work for any threat and malicious comment regarding Seungcheol and his family.” Pi Cheolin starts to list the things to do before the conference press tomorrow. Joshua and his team, busy typing everything Pi Cheolin asks them to do. 

“But, I have a question for you, Seungcheol." Pi Cheolin suddenly asks as he makes his way to his seat. 

Everyone who is busy typing stops mid air and for the first time since Seungcheol entered the meeting room, he lifts his face and looks at Pi Cheolin right in the eyes. 

"The reason I did all of this is because I trust you and your decision, but if everything that I calculate went south, are you going to risk it all? risk everything that you have built this far? fame, money, fans. Are you?" Pi Cheolin takes off his glasses as he asks Seungcheol.

"Yes, everything for my world.” Seungcheol answers without any hesitation.

Seungcheol is sitting on the office park bench alone after the meeting. He is looking at the gloomy sky, it feels like the universe knows about his feelings at the moment. He pulls his phone out from his back pocket, unlocks it and finds a text message from you. 

Is everything okay?  

He sighs hard before pressing the call buttons and by the third ring, you pick up the call. 

"Hey, are you okay?" You ask right away without any greetings, he can hear the concern in your voice. 

As much as he hates to admit it, Seungcheol can’t help it but to talk it out with you. 

"Honestly? No." Seungcheol heard your worry sigh on the other line. 

"I'm sorry, I couldn't be there for you." 

"It wasn't your fault, so there is no need for you to apologize." Seungcheol assures you as he leans back. 

"I know love but I feel sorry because I cannot be there for you."

“You are here with me, on the phone.” A small forceful smile grows on Seungcheol's lips.

"If my reputation is ruined and I don't have any jobs anymore—are you going to leave me?" A chuckle slips from your mouth. 

"Love, why would I leave you? You can be a house husband." You joke, trying to ease the tension that has been building on his shoulder. 

“A house-husband?” Seungcheol echoes, he is laughing now. A genuine laugh that doesn’t last long. 

"Is my baby taking her nap?" Seungcheol asks, after a long pause. 

"Yes, after a long battle, Sena is finally asleep." You stretch your body on the sofa, eyes back on the TV, and watch entertainment news that talk about Seungcheol’s scandal. 

"Seungkwan will pick you up from home to the company, is it okay?" Seunghceol asks you because he just remembered that Pi Cheolin asked him earlier. 

“Yes, Seungkwan called me earlier just before you called me. We’ll be going there after Sena’s nap.” 

You always wonder about Seungcheol’s company, BOMG, The company that’s been like Seungcheol’s second home growing up because he spent most of his youth here. Starting from the bottom until he reaches his peak. 

As you step your foot for the first time in the company, you can’t help but get mesmerized by how big and lavish it is. Seungkwan ushers you and Sena from the back door, getting inside an elevator that goes straight to the seventh floor. Seungkwan hasn’t let go of Sena's hand ever since the little girl got out of the car. 

Seungkwan calls your name, he gives you an assuring smile to let you know that everything is going to be okay. 

You follow Seungkwan who is now picking Sena’s up in his arms walking down the hallway. All eyes are on the three of you and you can’t help but look down because of the sudden embarrassment that takes over you. 

Seungkwan stops in front of a meeting room, he turns to look at you. 

“Here we go.” He pushes the door and the chatter stops immediately. 

“Everyone, this is Mrs. Choi and Choi Seungcheol’s daughter.” Seungkwan announces and everyone in the room greets you politely. 

You bow deeply as a gratitude and apology. 

“Daddy!” Sena wriggles from Seungkwan’s arm that makes Seungkwan put her down gently. Sena runs right away to her daddy and falls into her dad's arms. 

“My baby.” Seungcheol plants a kiss on top of Sena’s head before picking her up. A smile rises from his mouth when Sena’s little hands wrap around his neck, then hide between the crook of Seungcheol’s neck. 

You are sitting beside Seungcheol with Sena on Seungcheol laps, scribbling something in a piece of paper that was given by Wonwoo from earlier. Every eye in the room is focusing on a little girl that is busy in her own world. 

"She really took her mother's features." Vernon says to you with a nod and you thank him. 

"Sena, will you invite me to your third birthday party? Uncle will give you whatever you want." Mingyu says to Sena while waving his hands, trying to get Sena’s attention. 

"Uncle will be your photographer on your third birthday if you invite me." Wonwoo doesn’t want to lose to Mingyu. 

"Uncle will provide any entertainment you want— you can invite all of your friends and uncle will perform a magic trick." Vernon who apparently can’t do a single magic trick trying to steal Sena’s attention and he earns a heavy side eye from Wonwoo and Mingyu

"Sena will send the invites to uncle Wonwoo, uncle Mingyu, and uncle Vernon. So please, bring a lot of pretty gifts for me." Seungcheol says cutely, trying to follow the way Sena talks. The three grown up men roll their eyes. 

"Mama." Sena hands reach out to you still with the pen in her little hand and you pull her to your lap from Seungcheol’s laps. 

"Sena didn't even want to sit on your lap for too long— she probably forgot that you are her father because you are too busy with your work.." Snarky comments come out from Vernon’s mouth. Seungcheol wants to counter Vernon’s comments, he opens his mouth but nothing comes out, so he closes his mouth again. 

The meeting room’s door opens, Pi Cheolin comes in. His sunglasses still sit perfectly in his nose, he walks towards you who already stands up to greet him. He reaches out his hands to you, offers you a hand shake. You shake his hands while introducing yourself. 

"Finally we met." Pi Cheolin takes off his sunglasses and puts it back after. 

“Updates?” Pi Cheolin asks as he takes a seat at the end of the table. 

"Sumi's management already denied the allegation. It's only us now." Joshua reports right away and shows Sumi’s management press release regarding the dating scandal. 

"Our team already contacted the news forum and journalists for our press conference tomorrow.” Joshua continues. 

“Well, let’s hope for the best for tomorrow.” Pi Cheolin throws a wink at Seungcheol before standing up. 

“Before we finish this meeting, Jihoon, the legal team should make sure there will be no harm or false accusation towards the artist and his family. We will protect our artists and their loved ones.” Pi Cheolin remarks before bidding his goodbye. 

“Everything will be fine, love.” You squish Seungcheol's thigh gently. 

“I hope so, love.”

Right after the meeting, Seungkwan takes both you and Sena back to your apartment because Seungcheol’s apartment complex is already full with paparazzi. Seungcheol doesn’t even go home, he is spending the night at the office. 

As you arrive at your apartment, Seungkwan helps you with your belongings because Sena is asleep and refuses to let go of your hug. 

“Thank you, Seungkwan.” You thank him again as you walk him out from your apartment. 

“No worries, that’s my job to keep the three of you safe.” You let out a relief sigh as he pulls you into a hug. 

“I’m going back now, if you find someone that looks suspicious or paparazzi, please contact me right away.” Seungkwan says as he turns around and leaves. 

You lie on your side on the sofa, right hand supporting your head while your other free hand is scrolling on social media. You read some news articles about Seungcheol’s scandal, they talk about how Seungcheol’s management has not dropped any clarification and they are curious about the press conference that will be held tomorrow morning. 

Your phone buzzes and Seungcheol is the one who called you. You pick up the phone and his raspy voice greets you. 

"I miss you." You chuckle after hearing it.

"We literally saw each other an hour ago." You said softly while turning to your left side. 

“So, I can’t miss you even if we just met each other an hour ago?” He asks, pouting his mouth. 

“You can, love and the truth is I miss you too.” You say with a gentle smile but Seungcheol doesn’t response right away, 

"What if everything went south tomorrow? I don't have any jobs left. My savings are all gone because I need to pay the penalty fee. What should I do? I'm afraid." You can sense the fear in his voice. He is anxious. He overthinks.

"Then it's my turn to make a living—I saved up enough for us, well not as much as your income but it will be enough for the three of us. You've been providing us this whole time while I work the whole time. I rarely used my salary because you always said I should save it up. Now my savings can be useful." You tried to assure him but it only made him sigh hard.

"Then I failed as your husband and Sena's dad. I cannot provide you anymore." 

"Love, you remember that you have royalty up to your name right? You can still work as a producer and song writer. You might no longer work in front of the camera but you can work behind the camera—and we never know what will come tomorrow." 

"I wish you were here." He sniffles and you know, he is crying.

"I wish the same, love. I wish I could hug you and tell you everything is gonna be okay." Tears start to build up in your eyes. 

Your distance from Seungcheol is not that far, you are only thirty minutes drive apart but it feels harder than before your marriage. You used to have a long distance relationship with him especially when his group is still actively promoting and doing world tours. One continent to another, one country to another, one city to another; it was hard to schedule a date with him but tonight? It feels harder even though the distance is not far. 

And it breaks your heart more with the actual distance not too far but you need to keep a distance for a while with him until everything settles down. 

You couldn't even sleep properly last night. You are talking with Seungcheol until two in the morning until he falls asleep while listening to you. You glance at the clock and it is almost ten in the morning, which is when Seungcheol's press conference will start soon. 

You put Sena’s down in her play mat and turn on the TV. You switch to one national TV channel who will broadcast Seungcheol’s press conference. The conference room is still empty, the only sound you can hear from the TV is a typing sound and a murmur from the reporter and journalist that come. 

Right at ten o’clock, the side door is open and Seungcheol is wearing a simple black tuxedo. He walks with his head down. His steps are heavy and his shoulder slumps down. His face shows how he is not sleeping properly and his eyes are puffy after crying. He bows deep to the media before he takes a seat. The camera flashes with every step he takes. 

He takes a spot in the center, behind the lecterns that are already full of microphones from news outlets. 

"First of all, thank you to all the media, journalists, and reporters that come today." Seungcheol bows deep once again.

“I am going to clarify about the allegation that has made a stir yesterday, I apologize because of the commotion that happened because of me.” Seungcheol takes a deep breath before continuing. 

“I am not in a relationship with actress Ahn Sumi and I am deeply sorry for not making the clarification sooner and getting a lot of backlash. I am sorry.” Seungcheol bows again. 

“And with that, I’m going to clarify that I, Choi Seungcheol, have indeed tied a knot in a marriage with someone I love and cherish. We also have become a little family of three with the presence of my daughter. I am sorry for hiding them and being a coward for hiding and not showing my love.” Seungcheol takes a moment to adjust his breath and his heart that beats fast. 

“I deeply apologize to everyone who is hurt because of me. To my fans who have always supported me since day one, I am sorry for breaking the trust you have given to me. I am sorry.” Seungcheol bows, deeper and longer.

Your hands clutch the blanket on the sofa because your heart breaks into pieces after seeing the man you love hurting. His eyes are glistening because of the tears in his eyes that can fall at any time.

It is almost midnight when you hear your apartment door unlocked. You get up from the bed, rush to the front and find Seungcheol who is trying to get the shoes off. He doesn’t even notice you at first because his head hangs low. 

"Love?” You call him with a gentle voice. He looks up and he falls right on his knees. You hear a little sob from him that makes your heart wrench.  

"Seungcheol?" You walk to him, get on your knees and pull him into a tight hug. 

You let him cry on your shoulder, you saw him cry before but not like this. He was crying hard, his breath caught in his throat. You didn't make a sound, you just hugged him hard and rubbed his back. Tears flowing down on your face, your heart wrenched seeing the man who always stood tall, broke down in front of you.

You let him cry on your shoulder for as long as you can remember because the numbness on your feet is not comparable with what Seungcheol feels at the moment. 

“Love, let’s move to the couch.” You help him to stand, the man who always looks strong in front of you, who always looks dashing in your eyes is showing another side of him that you never see and you embrace this side tightly.

You help him settle on the couch before making your way to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. You are back and he still gives you a smile, even though it’s a forced one. 

"Seungcheol," You gently take a seat beside him, putting your hands on his hair, giving his messy hair a brush with your fingers. 

"It's over." Seungcheol says as he hugs you.

 You don’t say anything, you just let him hug you and you hug him tighter. 

He is always there for you, he always welcomes you with open arms and now, it is your turn to welcome him with open arms. He always assured you that everything will be okay and now it is your turn to let him know that you have his back and everything will work the way it should be.

"Everything will be fine, honey. Everything will work the way it should be."

You just get an approval from your manager for work from home arrangement for a couple days because urgent matters– the urgent matter is Seungcheol hasn’t come out from the room for a while and you feel anxious about leaving him all by himself. You announce to him that you will be dropping Sena at day care real quick, he kisses the top of Sena’s head and your cheek before going back to lie down in the bed. 

You are back from dropping Sena at daycare and Seungcheol hasn’t moved an inch. 

"Honey, let's eat breakfast." You hug him from the side and he turns around to face you.

"We made you a waffle with a rainbow sprinkle on top of it." You say cutely, trying to cheer him up. 

"Thank you, love." Seungcheol cups the side of your face and strokes your cheek before he pulls himself out from the bed.

Before he takes another step, a heavy sigh is out of his mouth. His steps are heavy as he walks to the bathroom, he is always excited every time you make a waffle with rainbow sprinkle on top and it hurts you to see him in this state. 

Your phone buzzes and you see Seungkwan’s name as the caller but you only stare at it, you don’t answer nor reject it until the call ends. 

"Baby," You run towards Seungcheol who just came out from the bathroom and hug him tight.

"I love you." You whisper before you give him a peck on his lips. 

"Thank you for always loving me. What would I do without you by my side?" Seungcheol hugs you tightly and rests his chin on your shoulder as you stroke his back.

Seungcheol doesn’t check his phone at all, he doesn’t know that Seungkwan has been calling him and you. You respect your husband, so you decide to let him have a moment without any interruption from outside when he is feeling down. 

He eats his breakfast not as cheerful as he used to, he doesn’t even finish it all but he thanked you for making the breakfast extra special for him. 

“I’m going to do chores right now– I’m going to do the dishes,"

You stop him before he can move to the sink.

“I’m going to do the dishes and you just need to sit still.” You push him back to his chair but he shakes his head. 

“I need to get busy.” He forces a smile that wrench your heart.

“Well, you can put the laundry in and fold the dry one.” 

“That’s what I like.” He kisses your lips quickly before making his move to the laundry room. 

You are busy doing the dishes when the doorbell rings, you rinse your hand full of soap and run to the front door. You open the door and are greeted by the angry Jeonghan. 

"Where is that bastard?" Jeonghan's chest rises and falls like he just came after running a marathon. 

"Han, not now." You stop him before he tries to make his way inside.

"I've been calling him since morning— basically everyone is trying to reach him out." He raises his tone. 

You are quite taken aback when Jeonghan raises his voice at you. Jeonghan lets out a frustrated sigh when he realizes he just raised his voice at you.

"I'm sorry but please let me talk to him."

"He is not in a good condition, Han." Your eyes get watery again, remembering your husband broke down in front of you last night.

"I know, we all know. Trust me, okay?" You nod before moving to the side to let Jeonghan come in. 

You gesture to Jeonghan to wait before knocking the laundry room door. 

"Honey, I'm going to the store for a moment." You announce it loud enough for him to hear.

"Okay! Be careful!" He shouts back and you look at Jeonghan briefly before making your way out. 

Seungcheol is busy, more like making himself busy in the laundry room because it helps him to distract all the bad thoughts. The laundry room door opens and Seunghceol turns his head right away, thinking it would be you who comes in but his face turns sour as he sees Jeonghan. 

“What do you want?” Seungcheol looks away. 

"Let's talk, Cheol." Jeonghan steps in and takes a seat on the floor right in front of the dryer and Seungcheol does the same. 

So the two of them sat beside each other in the laundry room while facing the dryer that spun all the clothes inside.

"I already prepared for the worst and I'm going to work behind the scenes as a producer and song writer." Seungcheol says before Jeonghan says anything. 

“Regarding the loss, I think I saved enough for the penalty fee and that should cover all the loss for you and the company.” 

"Probably working in front of the camera is not the best option after all." He tries to choke up a laugh.

“Have you read the news? Most of your fans support you. They know how harsh it was to work as a public figure, especially an Idol. In the span of twenty-four hours, the whole nation couldn’t stop talking about you. Thousands of them hate you for being in love and living your life behind the camera, but millions support you.” Jeonghan says with a little anger, because the man beside him, his best friend, already thought the worst. 

"Joshua gave me a report last night, almost all of the brands that you worked with, only two brands that decided to stop working with you. The penalty fee? You don't need to worry about that. In fact, three brands that target families reached out to work with you; you as their new brand ambassador." Seungcheol looks at Jeonghan in disbelief, like what Jeonghan says is full of nonsense. 

"What a funny world isn't it? You are loved, Seungcheol. People like you, adore you—yet you don't believe in yourself. As your best friend, I was mad. Hella mad when you decide to retire without even talking about it to me– you can talk to me about everything." Jeonghan continued as he put his arm on Seungcheol’s shoulder. 

"I don't know— I don't know if I did the right thing."

“Just believe in yourself, Cheol. Maybe that rumor was your wake up call.” Jeonghan pats Seungcheol's shoulder before getting back on his feet. 

“You have a family that will always welcome you. A beautiful daughter that solely becomes your reason to live and a loving wife that always has your back. Your life? I was jealous of you for living my dream.” Jeonghan chuckles as he stands up. 

Jeonghan’s right hand is already at the door handle but before he pushes the handle down, he turns his head to the side "Give Seungkwan a call, he is going crazy because of you." 

Jeonghan leaves Seungcheol by himself at the laundry room. 

Seungcheol leans his head to the wall, he looks up to the ceiling and inhales sharply before he pushes himself up. He makes his way out from the laundry room to the main bedroom. He takes his phone out from the nightstand and turns it on. Dozens of calls from Seungkwan and Jeonghan, hundreds of messages from people whom he worked with—everyone is worried about him.

It doesn’t take him a long time to call Seungkwan back and he picks it up before the second ring. 

"CHOI SEUNGCHEOL!" Seungkwan shouts and Seungcheol lets out a chuckle after hearing Seungkwan.

"How dare you laugh? I almost lost my mind because of you?" Seungcheol can hear the frustration in Seungkwan’s voice.

"I'm sorry, Seungkwan. I need time." Seungcheol can hear the relief sigh that comes out from Seungkwan mouth on the other line.

"I know but there are so many things that happened and as your friend, I want to let you have all the time for yourself but as your manager, there are dozens of casting calls for you." Seungkwan explains. Seungcheol is quite taken aback because of what Seungkwan just said, he takes a seat on the edge of his bed. 

"I'm going to let them know that you still need time after everything that happened, at least until the end of this week. Is it okay or do you need more time?"

"Sorry, this is a lot to take. Can I talk about it first with my wife?" 

"As your best friend, I want to tell you that you are very lucky to have her as your wife. You have a home to rest when things get hard and your home always welcomes you. I'm glad that you have someone by your side, Cheol." 

At the same time, you walk in without knowing that Seungcheol is talking with Seungkwan on the phone  while holding two bags full of Seungcheol's favorite snack and drink. You retreat when you see him talking on the phone carefully to not make any sound and close the door as quietly as possible.

"I know, Kwan. I'm always thankful that I have her and Sena in my life. And I'm sorry for not thanking you enough for always being there for me, Kwan." Seungcheol indeed owes Seungkwan a lot in his life. Seungkwan is always there on every step he takes. From nothing up until now. 

He owes him. 

"You better tell Pi Cheolin to give me a raise. Call me if you need anything." Seungkwan ends the call abruptly because he doesn’t want Seungcheol to hear him cry.

Seungcheol knows Seungkwan almost cries, which is why he chose to not call him again. Seungcheol locks his phone, tosses it on the bed and heads to the living room. You greet him with a big smile when he gets out of the room. 

"Is that Seungkwan?" You ask as Seungcheol walks towards you.

"Correct." Seungcheol holds your hand and pulls you closer. 

"Are you feeling better?" You loop your arms around his neck.

"I am." He rests both his hands on your waist. 

"Well, I should thank Jeonghan and Seungkwan for making you feel better." You kiss his cheek before walking back to the kitchen but Seungcheol stops you, he holds your wrist.

"I should thank you first." He whispers as he pulls you gently into him until your body touches each other. 

"Oh? And how would you thank me?" You tease him as you look at him right in the eye. 

“Do you want me to explain it step by step or should I just get into it and let you learn it by action?” Seungcheol says seductively in your ears that sends shivers down your spine. 

A month after the press conference, Seungcheol is already booked and busy. He scores a deal with three big brands where their main target is a family. He also gets dozens of casting calls for TV Dramas, exclusive dramas on streaming platforms, and movies. Everything is going better than he expected but he hasn’t accepted all the offers, because he is taking a break for himself and wants to spend more time with his loved ones.

"Good morning, mama!" Seungcheol kisses your cheek when your alarm blares.

"Morning," You greet him back still with your eyes closed. 

He moves his body so he is spooning you, his leg is on top of your thighs, one hand is inside your clothes. His hands are on top of your breast, cupping your breast while kneading it gently and his thumb brushes your nipple, teasing you. You push your back to him more because you know how this morning will end. Your back hits his morning wood and you intentionally wriggle your back— acting like you are adjusting yourself to be in a more comfortable position.

"Baby? What's that?" He whispers in your ears with his husky voice that makes you clench. 

"What? I didn't do anything." You play dumb with him.

"Hm? Is that so?" He moves his thumb slowly against your nipple again, brushing it lightly and giving it a light pinch that makes you hiss because of how good that feels.

"Did you push your ass on me on purpose?" He asks once again as he pinches your nipple harder than before.

"Yes." You answer in a hushed tone, trying to suppress the moan that almost slips from your mouth.

"How naughty." He licks the back of your ear, an action that makes you shiver and mouth agape.

"I need you." You beg him desperately.

"Anything you want, baby."

His hand that you use as a pillow started to play with your clothed nipple and his free hand made his way down to where you need him the most. He teases you while playing with the band of your pajama pants before his hands creep inside. He starts slowly, making you almost lose your mind, he plays with your folds still with your damp panties on, tracing along the line. 

"You are this wet for me? When I haven’t done anything yet to you?” 

"Yes, only for you."

He pushes your panties aside, his index fingers traced your wet folds before finally finding your clit. He rubs his finger slowly around your clit, a moan that you have been holding finally out from your mouth. A smirk grows on his face as he rubs your clit in a circle slowly, teasing you the way he knows how to make you fold for him. Another moan slips out from your mouth and your breath hitch when Seungcheol's leg that rests on top of you, pushes your legs to open more for him.

"Want you." You say breathlessly, hands clutching the bed sheet. 

"Not so fast, baby." He lowers down your pajama pants and your panties before having you bare.

His fingers move like a work of art, you can't help but hide your face on the pillow to muffle your moan. You gasp loudly when Seungcheol starts to push his finger inside you. It starts with one finger until you ask for more and three fingers now buried deep inside you. He knows you like the back of his hands, he knows your spot, so he purposely thrust his finger deeper and curled it. Your moan is a heavenly tune in his ear, he won't stop until you reach your release.

"I'm close." Your eyes are getting watery because of how good you feel and how close you are from his fingers only.

As he draws you closer, he starts to thrust his hips on your back, humping himself behind you to let you know how hard and desperate he is. You cry his name when your walls clenches around his fingers and you let go your first release on his fingers. He pulls his fingers out, sucks and licks them clean.

"What time is it?" You ask him, panting. You roll to the other side, so you face him. 

"We get forty minutes left before Sena wakes up from her sleep." Seungcheol answers as he glances at the clock on the wall. 

"Okay, cowboy. It's time for me to ride you." You push yourself up and unbutton your pajama top one by one, sensually, while keeping your eyes on your husband. He is watching you with lust in his eyes, both his hands rest behind his head. 

You notice how he gulps hard when you make your way to his hard length. You palm his still clothed length making his mouth gape because of how good you make him feel. A satisfied smirk spreads across your face when you see him like that. You pull his pants down slowly without breaking eye contact with him.

"We are running low on time." You say as you position yourself on top of him, before adding with a wink.

"I'm gonna suck you off till you can't even remember your own name later, tonight."

"Whatever you want, baby." He groans as you push down and takes his length full without warning.

that he got this afternoon. 

"I did! but I guess she knows my trick by now." He drops his legs slowly then with the support of his hands he drops to the ground and rests his head on top of your thighs.

"What are you working on, love?" He asks, popping up his head so he can see what you are working on.

“I’m working on my monthly report. I thought I could get it done this afternoon but sometimes you just want to smash your head with a keyboard then your work can’t be finished.” You explain to him and he looks at you confused, which makes you chuckle because he doesn’t understand it. 

"Why would you want to smash your face with a keyboard? Someone is bothering you at work?" He sits straight up, eyes looking at you with all seriousness. 

"I worked on a wrong report all day." A gasp left from Seungcheol’s mouth, he even covers his mouth dramatically and you let out a laugh because of him. 

"Thank you for providing us." He jokes and that makes you laugh a little bit too loud until you cover your mouth, afraid your daughter will wake up because of it.

Seungcheol is still in his hiatus, he is enjoying his day as a house husband. He drops you off at work and drops Sena to daycare every morning. He goes to the gym right after, sometimes he works out with Wonwoo or sometimes he bothers Seungkwan at work. Seungkwan is back at his dusty work desk because of Seungcheol’s hiatus and he always acts that he hates it every time Seungcheol comes, but secretly he loves it because he has excuses to leave his desk.

Seungcheol also realized a new therapeutic thing, which is grocery shopping. He loves grocery shopping so much and you are the one who is stressing out because he kept on buying unnecessary things. He even signed up for a beginner cooking class. He also realized folding clothes was tiring, then he discovered the Marie Kondo method, so he’s been folding that way and most of the time he failed it. He even started to watch afternoon local TV dramas that have the same pattern over and over again, he complained a lot about it but he can’t stop watching it.

But it always warms your heart every time he tells you about his day and his new favorite things to do because he is enjoying his life. His slower pace life. 

Parents in Sena's daycare understand his position as a public figure, so they never asked him or took his photo. Seungcheol even sends Sena to Chan's house for a play date and having lunch over in their house with Chan's mother. Chan's mother is very talkative and Seungcheol will make sure to give her a backstage pass for their concert because it turns out she is a big fan of Wonwoo. She collected Wonwoo's photo card from their group album.

"Should I send Wonwoo to Chan's house to pick up Sena? I mean that would make Chan's mother happy." Seungcheol asks with a spatula in his right hand.

"Don't you think Chan's mother will pass out if that happened?" You ask back while preparing the plates on the dinner table. 

"Right.. but she paid for my coffee, I should pay her back." You laugh at your husband because he’s been thinking how to pay Chan’s mother back because she paid for his coffee this morning.

Seeing him befriended with Chan's mother gives you reassurance, Chan's mother is always sweet towards you and Sena. She even offers to bring Sena to her house when you can't pick her up from daycare on time.

"Maybe, you could give her a signed album." You try to propose a new idea. 

"She has them." Seungcheol sighs while flipping the rolled omelette. 

"Oh, Sena's birthday is coming up— we should invite Chan, then she can meet with Wonwoo there." You say excitedly and Seungcheol claps his hands together.

"Perfect!" He raises his spatula. You giggle and head towards his side to peck his lips.

Seeing your husband living his ordinary life makes you happy, especially since he can still work on his job that he loves. Maybe after his hiatus ends, he won't have that much time to spend with you and Sena, but you know for sure that his family is always his top priority.

Even in front of the cameras that are still rolling, lighting still on, all the spotlight is on him— you know for sure, he is still the same man you married. The man that you vowed in front of his best friends to spend the rest of your life with till death apart.

"Cheol, I love you."

"I love you more, honey." He leans down to kiss you on the lips and when his lips almost touch yours, 

“AND CUT!” The camera stops rolling and Seungcheol backs away with a little smile. 

“THAT IS PERFECT!” The director walks towards Seungcheol while clapping his hands and the assistant director runs to his direction with a bouquet of flowers for him and his co-star. 

“This adaptation will be a big hit!” The director taps Seungcheol's shoulders. 

“I hope so, sir.” Seungcheol says with a big smile. 

“Break for ten minutes then we’re going to take a staff picture, okay?” The director tells Seungcheol.  

“Yes, sir.” Seungcheol bows his head then walks to his green room. His manager gives him his phone before he enters his room. 

He opens the door, sits himself on the couch. His phone rings right after, with a big smile spread across his face he answers the call. 

“My wife! The shoot is officially done!” Seungcheol lies down on the couch, still with his phone attached to his ear. Seungcheol continues to talk with his wife over the phone until a knock on the door interrupts his conversation. His manager’s head poked behind the door, signaling him to go back to the set for a photo session. 

“Love, I need to go now. See you later at home.” 

fin.

[cxffecoupx]

Caramel Pudding | part one

jeon wonwoo × medical intern!f!reader grey's anatomy!au medical drama, romance, angst warnings: hospital settings, incorrect use of medical terms (i'm extremely sorry) sickness, mentions of surgery or other treatments, death of the main or side characters. wc: 3628 author’s notes: part one of my fic for the blockbuster collab!! I can only hope I've done even half the justice to the show. this might also be my first time with such a long fic. working on part two right now, but i really hope you enjoy this one! do let me know what you think! Check out other works in the collab: Blockbuster Collab Masterlist

[July, 2007]

"The patient is showing signs of internal bleeding. We need a CT scan to confirm the source, so someone see to tha-"

"Dr. Bailey…" the nurse pops her head in to call the doctor. "Psst, Dr. Bailey."

"What is it now, Judy?" Dr. Bailey tries to look calm but the annoyance is clear in her voice.

Nurse Judy sighs before she gives Bailey the news.

"The interns are fighting again."

In the middle of the surgical floor stood three bickering doctors, their voices rising louder than the last. The entire floor is listening, with interested eyes and curious ears. Patients peek out from their rooms and nurses stop in their tracks to listen in. The buzz of a hospital is all but still around the doctors, but none of them seem aware of that.

"Do any one of you fools want to explain to me what is happening on my surgical floor?"

All heads turn at once at the booming voice. Dr. Bailey stands beside them now, hands folded and eyebrow raised. two of the doctors immediately turn their heads down, while the other just rolls his eyes.

"Dr. Karev, care to tell me what is happening instead of just standing there and rolling your eyes?" Bailey speaks.

"Just some intern drama, really. They were arguing about the charts and I was trying to negotiate."

"Negotiate, my foot! I wanted Mr. Adams' chart. Lexie wouldn't hand it to me, so I was talking to her about it. If there was any argument here, you're the one who added to it," one of the interns shouts at the elder doctor, Alex Karev.

"Keep your voice down," Bailey orders, "..what was your name?"

"Alex Shepherd."

"You're… Derek's sister."

Alex sighs before replying, "…yes."

Bailey steps closer to her.

"It's nice to have you here, Alex. But you are an intern. As you must already know, you are at the bottom of the surgical food chain, so don't walk around thinking you're important just because you're an attending's sister. Do you hear me?"

"I wasn't doing any of that. Like I said, I wanted the chart, I was asking for it, Dr. Karev stepped in for absolutely no reason and started arguing with me, while Lexie was just blabbering on about keeping quiet. It wasn't completely my fault-"

"I said, do you hear me?" Bailey asks once again.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good," she concludes and starts walking away. Then, she stops.

"Oh, and all three of you are off the surgical cases today. I don't want you anywhere here for the entire day."

"Dr. Bailey, that's absur-" Alex starts speaking. Bailey turns and points to him.

"Karev, you're doing all the pending paperwork in a closed and quiet room. You two," she then turns towards the interns, Alex and Lexie, before continuing, "you're both volunteering at the clinic today."

None of them move.

"I was serious when I said I don't want to see any of you here. Now, move!"

The doctors scurry away.

[Alex's POV]

"You know, you could say sorry," Lexie speaks as the you two head towards the clinic.

"'Sorry'? Why should I say sorry?" you bite back.

"I don't know, maybe for starting that whole commotion over there?" Lexie drops her hands into the pockets of her coat, throwing an exasperated look at you.

"If you'd have handed over the chart, there would have been no discussion. Also, I literally saved your ass from Bailey over there. If anything, you're supposed to be thanking me," you shrug your shoulders.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm glad to be finally working at the clinic- Oh! We could take up patients and work on them together, that'll be fun," Lexie states.

"Lexie, once we get inside, let's work at opposite ends of the clinic, please. I've dealt with you enough today," you reply, before stepping into the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic.

The Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic was a free clinic established by Dr. Bailey as part of the hospital. While Dr. Bailey always had the plan to start the clinic, it was actualised when Dr. Stevens funded the project with the money that Denny Duquette, her fiancé, had left for her after his death.

Ah yes, the infamous Izzie-Denny lore; a love story for ages.

"Did you know a doctor here ended up falling in love with her patient?" an intern mumbles to her friend at the back of the intern locker room.

"Oh! I've heard that it was actually Izzie Stevens… Apparently she cut his LVAD wire to get him a heart through the transplant list."

"Woah… But if he got the heart, how did he die then?"

"It was a stroke after the surgery. I heard someone say that Izzie lay beside him, crying in her prom dress after she came to visit him. She quit, but then when she returned, she was placed on probation. Imagine having to go through all of that."

"Wait, there was a prom at Seattle Grace?"

"Oh, you didn't hear about that?…"

The locker doors shut close, and the voices die down as the girls walk out while chatting. The room was empty save for two or three people getting their stuff. you scoff to yourself when you rewind their conversation, and you hear a sniff from somewhere beside you. Lexie Grey.

"Imagine loving someone so much you'd commit medical crime for them," she says, shaking her head while another cascade of tears rush out her eyes.

You can only roll your eyes, at the ridiculous story and the ever more ridiculous reaction, before walking out the room, leaving a very distraught Lexie behind.

You promised to yourself to never be a doctor like Izzie Stevens.

You head over to the waiting area in your clinic scrubs, feeling hopeful that you wouldn't have much to do because there were very few people waiting. You call one of them into the examination room, taking your time to get to the problem and deal with it, handing over any medicines or prescription before calling in the next person. After about half an hour, you notice only one more guy sitting in the area. You head over to him.

"Hello sir, I'm Dr. Shepherd. how can I help you today?"

He turns his head to you at your sound, and that's when you notice the cut on the side of his forehead. You're not sure, but if you gasped at that, you managed to make it silent enough to not let him know.

"I fell and got this cut, I just wanted to close it up as soon as possible," he says.

The cut looked deep, and if it was painful, he was doing a good job hiding it.

"I can stitch it up. Please follow me to the examination room."

Inside, you quickly wear a new set of gloves before retrieving a suture kit and heading over to the man sitting on the bed. You notice him looking around and taking in the surroundings, glasses perched on his nose that gives a little sparkle to his eyes.

You clean the wound and start stitching up the wound, not noticing the way you grab his head closer to you or the way he tenses up at your actions. He grips the bedding as you insert the needle, heaving a sigh of relief when he's finally let go. He tenses once again when you pull him in to put a bandage over the stitch.

"Make sure to keep the bandage on for at least 24 hours, and do not get it wet. try not to sweat either." you instruct, before continuing.

"Okay sir, I'm gonna check for a few things; can you tell me your name?" You ask as you click on your penlight to perform a quick neurofunctioning test.

"Jeon Wonwoo," the man replies.

"And how old are you, Mr. Jeon?"

"I'm 28."

"And can you tell me what caused the wound?"

"I was just walking into the kitchen. I don't remember much, but I think I hit my foot or something, and the next thing I know, I was on the floor, bleeding."

"Okay Mr. Jeon. The wound was shallow, so the stitches will do. There isn't anything notably abnormal, so you're free to go. But remember, do not remove the bandage or get it wet. And please do visit immediately if you experience any headaches or abnormalities, okay?"

The guy nods a quick yes, smiling and bowing before exiting the room.

After a few more check-ups, you leave the clinic to head over to Joe's bar for a drink before heading home.

[September 2007; Alex's POV]

You're in the clinic duty once again, and you genuinely think there hasn't been a more boring day in your life. There are a few non-serious cases here and there, and no casualities in the ER at all, much to the disappointment for everyone in the emergency room duty, which is precisely why you were sent to the clinic.

You busy yourself with doing some overdue paperwork when you hear George calling out for you. You turn to find him standing beside you.

"There's someone in the waiting room who's requesting for you," he says quietly, peeking through the curtain to get another look at the guy. "Why is he requesting for you?"

You don't even know who he's talking about, so you're met with a surprise when you walk over and see the guy from a few weeks back sitting on one of the chairs, looking around in awe.

Jeon Wonwoo? Was that his name?

you head over to him. George tags along.

"Hi sir, what's brought you in today?"

"Hi, nice to meet you- erm, wait, should I be saying that at a hospital? That wouldn't make it very pleasant, would it? Oh, um, anyways-," he pauses and proceeds to take his mask off, "I needed to show this."

You're surprised with this man once again, because here he was, months after his first visit with a cut on his forehead, now sitting in front of you, with a cut and a bruise on his cheek now.

Honestly, how does he manage to do this?

"Oh okay, woah-" You exclaim, and George nudges you. You close your mouth immediately.

"The reaction makes sense," the man chuckles, before pushing his glasses up. "What do I do about this?"

"Since you asked for her, Dr. Shepherd here can stitch up the cut for you and apply something for the bruise," George responds.

It takes some 15 minutes for you to stitch up the wound on the cheek. Once you're done with your work, you step back and look at it. Not that good, it'll definitely leave a scar.

"Let me just apply some ointment real quick. Does the bruise hurt, Mr. Jeon?"

"It hurt for the first few minutes, now I'm fine though- Go ahead, ask what you want to," he says when you observe the bruise while treating it.

"I just don't understand how you manage to get these cuts, it makes no sense. Are you sure you're okay, sir?"

You instinctly start taking another neuro exam on him, just to confirm your doubts. But just like the last time, nothing abnormal shows up.

"I don't really remember this time, actually. I think i might have hit my face on something around the room, but I just can't remember."

"Well, since there's nothing abnormal on the test, I think I should let you go, but this is concerning, and I strongly urge you to get it checked."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Doctor…?" he trails off. You reply.

"I'm Alex Shepherd."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. Hopefully we won't have to meet again."

He gives another one of his warm smiles before pushing his glasses up and leaving.

George teleports next to you, "are my eyes cheating on me or am i seeing you flustered after treating the man?"

"Oh, just shut up!"

[October, 2007; Alex's POV]

You're finishing up your routine rounds with Meredith, your resident. She's different than her sister, more stern and serious and definitely less cheery than Lexie is. Sometimes you wonder how this came to happen, and then you remember they're only half-sisters; and when your mother is THE Ellis Grey, the world-famous surgeon with two Harper Avery Awards, it's no surprise if you're all dark and twisty with your head solely in the game.

You're not a big fan of her though. She's said to be a really good resident, second only to Cristina Yang, probably. But she was also Derek's girlfriend, and it goes without saying that at some point, you ought to hate your big brother's ex-girlfriend.

"Hey!" you jump at the unusually chirpy, familiar voice.

"Hi. Why are you so chirpy in the morning?" you ask Lexie, looking at her and finally noticing her appearance. "And why are you wearing that?" you point to the bonnet on her head.

She looks ridiculous.

"It's Halloween! Of course I'm dressing up on Halloween. So what if I'm working at a hospital. It's holidays like these that bring people together and cheer them up. So I get to wear my bonnet and wear fake-freckles and make patients laugh, because it's Halloween."

George joins you a little later. Lexie visibly stiffens when he drapes his hand over her schoulder. You sttruggle against a smirk, making a mental note of asking her about it as the three of you walk to the cafeteria for some snacks.

Over at the cafeteria, Derek calls for you.

"Alex!" he shouts, and you jog over to him.

"Hey, whatchu doin'?" you eye his cup.

"Just getting some coffee. How's your first year going?"

"Oh god, don't remind me. The interns are like perky little high school girls that gossip over everything. I don't think they know how to intubate someone correctly." you roll your eyes.

He chuckles in response, "you feel that because you've grown up with medical talks in your house. Cut them some slack, Lex," he says as he sips his coffee. "Have you met Lexie? She's the same year right?"

"Oh please, don't get me started on her. I don't know how she's always in such a good mood; she's always smiling and joking with her patients. I don't think there are any serious bones in her body."

"You say all that, but then I see you walk around with her," he side-eyes you with a smirk as you say that. You can only groan at his face.

"Well, she's okay then, I guess. She's actually pretty brilliant, you know? Photographic memory and all…"

"Look, I know you're having trouble relating to people here, but this is just your first year. You've only just started. And I know you didn't want to come here for your internship, but Seattle Grace has a lot to offer as well. Just… give it a try, hmm?"

"oh my god, you sound so old and wise, it's lowkey embarassing," you make a stinky face at him as you stand to get lunch, but then break into a smile.

"don't you wanna have lunch with your old man?" he laughs back. His pager starts beeping.

"don't you have work to attend to, old man?" you laugh and head over to get some food.

By afternoon, you decide to go to the clinic to help out a bit, considering the ER was getting a little too stuffy for your own comfort. The clinic was empty, and while you'd be happy to get some time to spend alone, without any cases, the fact that there really were no patients when you wanted to just do some work, made the feeling of uselessness even more prominent in your heart.

"Is someone here?" A voice booms out.

Your head lifts up at the sound, and you notice a man standing at the door, clutching something tightly in his arm. You rush over and realise the man was clutching his own arm into his chest. You look up to the man and realise once again that it was the same guy once again.

"Mr. Jeon? What's the matter with your arm?" You ask in alarm as you take his arm and pull it forward to observe. There's a cut — which, from this man, it doesn't really surprise you anymore — that seemed superficial and fresh, sharp enough for you to presume that it was from a knife or something similar.

"Just the usual, really. I was making some lunch for myself. My roommate called me and I turned around, but I think I did that too quickly because it started feeling dizzy and then I heard the knife falling to the ground before I followed it."

You've seated him on a bed now, cleaning and stitching up the wound, as has become pretty regular with this guy. Other than the slight hisses of pain here and there, the two of you remain silent, heartbeats echoing through the empty hall.

"The cut isn't serious, but the repeated fainting is getting more concerning, Mr. Jeon. Are you sure you're alright? Do you feel dizzy now?" You ask as you flash light to check his pupils.

"I understand. I'm perfectly fine, I just don't understand why this keeps happening at the most random moments."

"Well, I can refer you to a neurosurgeon perhaps, get you checked out completely?" you offer, partly because it is your duty, but partly because it really was getting concerning at this point. This was the third time in four months now, with similar wounds.

"I promise you, I'm completely alright. And I don't have the time or the finance to invest into a consult right now. I'm going home for the holidays in a few months, maybe I can do something about it then," he just smiles at you, just like always.

"Well, okay then Mr. Jeon. The same instructions apply as always: do not remove, do not wet, visit it there are any more problems. Take care, sir."

He offers a slight bow before saluting at you and heading off. You watch him, worry still heavy in your heart about just what might be wrong with him. There clearly is something, but it's small enough to let him continue functioning. A deeper check-up would have given you your answers by now…Just as he leaves, Lexie walks in.

"You will not believe what just happened- a guy just cut his own foot off with a chainsaw. All by himself! Come on!"

All your concerns about Wonwoo leaves your mind at the news. Your day just got a lot more interesting.

That evening, you're sitting in Joe's bar, nursing your glass of beer. Lexie sits beside you, holding her glass of gin and tonic.

"I still don't understand how someone could just cut off their own leg, I mean, I don't think it gets more crazy than that." Lexie shudders at the thought.

"You never really know what people are going through at times. I mean, he said his foot felt like 'not his foot'. He must have been going mad with that feeling."

"Still, it's a crazy thing to do, cutting off a perfectly good foot."

You both sit in silence, while others around you chatter in merry drunkenness.

"Lexie, you remember the guy who was walking out the clinic today, when you came to call me?" You ask, and she nods in reply.

"It's weird. It's the third time the guy has shown up to the clinic, just in the past four months, each time with a cut or a wound on his body. At first it was on his forehead; he said he fainted while walking. Then it was his cheek; and he had no memory of what happened at all. And then today, it was his hand; he said he got dizzy and cut himself with a knife."

"Clumsy people exist, Alex. I'm one of them," she admits.

"No, I don't think that's it. I do a neuro test every time, and every time nothing abnormal shows up. But I have this feeling that something is wrong."

"How about you suggest a neuro consult?"

"I did; he refused it. Said he'll look into it when he goes home for the holidays."

"Well, if he's refusing it, there's not much we can do. But, why are you stuck up on this?"

"Nothing really. The circumstances feel weird each time, that's all."

You slip into silence once again.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you by the way," you turn to Lexie abruptly. She raises one eyebrow.

"Do you have a crush on O'Malley?" You smirk.

Lexie spits out her drink.

[December, 2007]

One minute you're sipping your coffee.

The next, you're running into the ER to respond to your page. You see Lexie running over from another corner of the hospital, and you rush down the stairs to reach there first. Alex Karev waits for you at the end of the hall.

"28 year old man, brought in the ambulance by his friend, who called 9-1-1. Friend says he found the guy bleeding at the end of the stairs, and found him unresponsive. There's a heartbeat, but he's unconscious right now. The head injury seems deep and serious."

The other interns wheel the guy into an ER room.

A tall man, who was standing beside you all this time, whimpering and covered in blood, starts speaking, "Doctor, he was bleeding a lot, is he gonna be alright?"

The man starts crying again. You place a hand on his arm.

"Sir, we will try our best to take care of him, do you hear me? Now, can you tell me your friend's name?"

"His name is Jeon Wonwoo."

taking the time here to thank @belovedgyu @jakedustry @nerdycheol for hosting this collab and all the arrangements and the opportunity. It's been a very long time since i've written or posted anything and this gave me the motivation (and the deadline) to finish one; i'm so so grateful! and to all my lovely writers @mellowgyu @cherrymayz @luvrung @hopecutie @gentleisa @caratchronicles @chogiwaw @paradiseonthemoon @choco-scoups @pomegranate-teardrop @cxffecoupx @onionhassayyo thank you so so much for all the hype since the beginning, especially your reactions to my story summary. i really hope i was able to meet you guys' expectations with this. looking forward to read all your works now!! all the best, and i love you guys <33

[caratchronicles]

Gemini || w.jh

Summary: As the saying goes, "History repeats itself". Eons after the Second Titan War, the world is left in a similar state of despair. Good prevails, but so does the imbalance and injustice. Now standing on opposite sides, the Gods and Demigods don't think that the damage done by The Aegean War can ever truly be repaired. When yet another prophecy pushes you to fight for your friends, you must decide for yourself: Are you worth fighting for too?

Pairing : Wen Junhui x Fem!Reader

AU : Percy Jackson and the Olympians AU

Word Count : 6,712 (part one)

Warnings : Panic attacks, survivor's guilt and post war depression. Percy Jackson AU aged up! Please every character is over 19 years old. Olympus gods being fucked up as usual. Reader is going through it. Sweetheart Junnie. Lots and lots of yearning. Fighting as a coping mechanism. Appearance of other svt members. ANGST in all caps. Some fluff maybe. Multiple moments of "just get together already" and "they've been through so much"

Author's Note : This fic has been written as part of the blockbusters collab hosted by the lovely izzy @jakedustry, rae @nerdycheol and luna @belovedgyu. Thank you for such an amazing opportunity guys<33

This was a really fun experience and I would like to thank all my cuties @mellowgyu, @choco-scoups, @chogiwaw, @cherrymayz, @livmarauder, @gentleisa, @luvrung, @hopecutie, @pomegranate-teardrop, @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @cxffecoupx for such a fun time! congratulations to all of you for completing your fics and im so excited for people to get to know you guys through your amazing works

That being said, this is not beta-read!! so forgive me if there are any mistakes, I was running on pure vibes lol

playlist for this fic is gemini <33

credits to @im4yeons for the pretty divider!

Under the moonlight —

Come, save me now

It was that time of the night when the sky was pitch black — save for the full moon and the stars shining so bright, a sight almost impossible in the city. Jun winced as he stepped over a leaf, making a crunching sound. The sound of the ocean could be heard faintly from where he was. He found this path accidentally, when he had wandered far into the forest away from the camp. It was late at night then, just like now — something he found solace in.

The path led to a rocky shore, violent waves crashing with the jagged edges. Jun slowly stepped in the sand, taking a deep breath of the salty air as the wind blew around him, pushing his hair back. His shoulders dropped as a slight smile made its way onto his face. He looked around, slowly trudging towards a stone to sit on. The tide was on the calmer side tonight — with lesser, calmer waves crashing on the rocks.

The moonlight reflected off the water, making the place seem almost ethereal. Leaning back, Jun closed his eyes, letting the sound of the ocean wash out whatever worries he had. He opened his eyes after a while and looked up at the sky above him. Full of stars and constellations that he grew up watching. He could see the constellation Draco, its dragon-like tail making it identifiable among the others. Constellation Lyra caught his eye next, marking its harp shape.

Going through the stars, he noted as many constellations as he could, recollecting the stories related to them. He smiled ruefully as he spotted Hercules. That was a story Jun thought about quite often these days. Immensely powerful yet exploited by the gods, being punished for something he didn't even have control over. Jun could think of a few people who came under that category.

A scene flashed quickly in his mind. Bodies everywhere. Explosions. The scent of smoke. Disappointed gods. Demigods kneeling on the floors of Olympus. He blinked it away, refocusing on the stars as he used the sound of the waves to ground him. He took a deep breath, sitting up straight and looking at the ocean.

It was dark and inviting — the unknown somehow calming him rather than scaring him away. He got down from the rock carefully, deciding to return to his cabin to finally sleep. If his calculations were correct, it was about an hour before the sunrise. Even though he hated mornings these days, he also knew that he would be most energised then due to his lineage.

Taking a step towards the path he came from, he stopped when he felt something hard under his shoes. It was a stone pierced through at one edge — a hag stone. Rare. Protective, if the stories were true. Jun observed it under the moonlight before pocketing it and resuming his journey towards the cabins.

Reaching cabin eleven, he quietly closed the door behind him, careful not to wake any of his siblings. Taking the stone out, he felt it once again before placing it by his bedside along with the other shells he had collected from the very same shore. He lowered himself on his bed, pulling the blanket up and slowly drifting off to sleep, hoping that tonight, he won't be plagued by nightmares.

The grass was soft as you walked on it, little bushes brushing past your knees as you passed them — covered with flowers of many different colours. The breeze was cool, especially for a summer month. Spotting a rivulet, you stepped closer and saw little fishes swimming in it. You bent down and touched the water, feeling the cold liquid coat your hand. The fishes circled around your wrist, lightly tapping it and then quickly backing away.

The wind whistled, swaying the trees along with it. You look around with a smile, glancing up at the late afternoon sky. There were very few clouds in sight. This seemed like a nice spot to take a nap. Dipping your feet in the water, you leaned back on your elbows, sighing contently. Your eyes closed shut as you drifted to sleep, the last sight being that of a cloud in the sky which seemed bigger than before.

You felt something wet drop on your skin as you woke up. In the time you had been asleep, the clouds grew bigger and darker, almost covering the entire sky now. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, you felt something tug at your ankle. Glancing down, you see the water circling around your foot before you felt another pull. Then another. Trying to pull away, you watched with growing horror as the water reached up to your knees, continuing to pull you in.

Looking in front of you, you realised that what was once a rivulet was now growing in size by the second. And it was trying to drag you inside it. Glancing around helplessly, you realised the grass and the trees were gone. There was nothing left but sand. The water had now reached your thighs before you shouted for help. There was no sound other than that of the ocean. You were truly as alone as it looked like.

Your body was getting colder and colder as the water reached upto your chest. You began thrashing, trying to fight back as much as you could but to no avail. The water had reached upto your chin before you stopped moving, seemingly having accepted your fate. You closed your eyes as your ears got flooded and you were engulfed by the waves pulling you deep into the ocean. "You can never escape the sea," a voice echoed. And that was the last thing you heard before your world went dark.

You woke with a jolt, sitting up straight and taking in huge gulps of air. It was just a dream, you think trying to calm yourself down. The only sound to be heard was your heavy breathing and the sound of the clock.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

You get down from your bed, feeling the cold wood beneath your feet ground you slightly. The air was cold, you observe with a shiver, as you go to close your window. You take in the scene in front of you. Large trees at the outskirts of the camp, beyond which it was sea.

Moonlight reflecting off the surface of the water, making it look alluring and inviting. Something inside you shifted at the sight, something primal, ancient almost, reminding you of how long you had gone without the sea. You shut the window tightly, going back to bed hoping you could sleep without any trouble.

You were plagued with dreams of the waves echoing around you.

The early morning sun grazed Jun's face as he looked over at the demigods sword-fighting. Just from the technique, very sharp and clean, it was evident that they were Ares' kids. He was seated on the stairs of the arena having come here almost an hour prior to watch the sunrise. Yawning as he rubbed his eyes, he glanced around and noticed that there were other demigods present as well.

He could spot Chris, clad in his fighting gear, leaning over to whisper something in Lexie's ear. Hearing footsteps, he glanced up to see Mike jogging down the stairs and waving at him. Jun smiled and watched him leave before turning towards the fight. It seemed like the previous match was done and they had found a new opponent to challenge.

Ready to zone out again, Jun froze when he caught a movement from the corner of his eyes. He turns sharply towards the source, hand already on his knife incase it was needed. Just a few leaves rustling. He relaxes, a bit sheepish now as he looked around to check if anyone else had noticed that.

He sees you on the opposite side of the arena, eyebrows furrowed as you tried to make sense of whatever you were reading. You seemed to have trouble, growing increasingly frustrated as the seconds passed. You had a higher degree of dyslexia when compared to an average demigod, something which you hated more than anything — Jun would know, as he was the one who read books out loud for you whenver you asked.

He observed you for a while. Your wavy hair seemed to catch the sunlight everytime you ran a hand through it, an age-old habit of yours. Jun sighed, turning his attention elsewhere. What was the point if you didn't even look at him these days?

He couldn't blame you though, everyone had changed after the war. Some more than the others. He just wishes you wouldn't go out of the way to avoid him everytime you caught sight of him. Honestly, it didn't even seem like the war was over. Everyone was always on edge, as if waiting for the next attack.

Hearing a ruckus, he snapped out of his thoughts as he looked towards for the source. Standing there at the centre was a guy, blonde haired, donning a full armour for the sword fight. Ahh, the infamous Soonyoung. Or maybe Hoshi, as he liked to be called. If Jun had seen you retreating inwards and away from everyone, he could say Hoshi did the same.

The only difference was, you seemed to be spending more time in your cabin and Hoshi seemed to spend more time in figting arenas and grounds. Any news Jun had heard of him recently was always followed by the fact that he had wonded someone with an unnecessarily nasty punch. Which seemed to be his exact intentions again as he lunged at his opponent with a wicked grin.

A loud slam echoed around the arena as the two moved their swords quickly with precise footwork. It was a surprise to see that the other demigod was keeping up with Hoshi for as long as he had. Hoshi was a beast when it came to fighting, his strength and strategies forged by relentless training and discipline.

The clanking of the swords continued for a while longer, both of them maneuvering smartly around each other and looking for any weak points to hit in the opponent. Seemingly having found one, Hoshi quickly manages to push his opponent on the ground and hover over him with his sword in hand above his neck. The demigod beneath him huffed, out of breath and frustrated as he surrendered begrudgingly. Hoshi nods his head, satisfied before he turns around and leaves the arena as quickly as he came in.

You shove your hands deeper into your pockets, shivering slightly as you make your way towards the Dining Pavilion. It was early December, with the first snow of the year having occured just a few days ago, painting the camp white. You follow the footsteps in the snow, left by the other demigods, already looking forward to the warmth of the Pavilion.

You sigh in relief, rubbing your hands when you finally get inside and feel the heat spread through your body. You glance around, setting your scarf down at your table which was as empty as ever. The Ares table was also surprisingly empty, but given that it was quite early in the evening, you figured they were just sparring for sometime before supper. Soonyoung did tell you that they had fixed training sessions and this was one of the slots.

Your eyes then instinctually go to the Apollo's table and you feel a slight pain in your chest — maybe grief — as you take in the number of demigods present. They were all talking, looking happier than ever, but you could see it in the way Connor's smile dropped whenever he turned to his left, only to realise that his twin brother was no longer there with him. Or in the way Mia thought nobody noticed how often she zoned out, almost seeming like she was fighting prophecies in her mind.

If only you had stopped them from fighting in the water

You drag your eyes away from them with a shaky sigh. Everytime you closed your eyes, you could see the day play out in your mind, moment by moment without any mercy. A war inside the ocean, a tsunami washing out everyone who dared to cross it. You let out a huff, trying to fight against the negative emotions taking over your body as you cross your arms.

Since you were earlier than the expected dinner time, you decide to take a seat as you watch the campfire suddenly getting lowly lit, probably Goddess Hestia's doing. You liked Hestia, Jun had told you that she helped him a lot on his quest before the war. She also seemed like one of the only Gods who did not actively look for ways to trouble the demigods, so that was a plus.

Your eyes go towards the Apollo table again as you see Chiron approaching it. He's probably discussing about the Capture the Flag event being held tomorrow. Your eyes involuntarily go to Jun, seeing him talk to Chiron. The first thing you notice about him is his smile, always the smile — gentle and shy.

Infact, you remember the first time you had met him back when you both were ten, you were constantly trying to get him to laugh at your jokes, and he always did, no matter how lame or stupid they were. The next thing you notice are the dark circles under his eyes.

Was he having problems with sleeping again?

He always stayed up whenever the prophecies got too loud. He was one of those, along with Mia, who had the power of seeing the future more vividly than the rest of their siblings. Hence he was also very sensitive to dreams and nightmares, often times choosing not to sleep to avoid them.

You got to know of that fact just a couple of years ago and had tried everything to get him to sleep well, hanging out in the infirmary when his cabin became suffocating for him at night. You had even tried singing to him, something you were terrible at and you still remember the fond look he had in his eyes as he tried not to laugh. That was the night when everything had felt immensely real, your sleepy mind and traitorous heart giving you hope that maybe, just maybe even he felt the same about you.

Well, that was over a year ago, just before the war and you doubt he even thinks about you now after you stopped talking to him and basically threw your friendship away. There was also the fact that most of his siblings died under your leadership in the war. You were sure he hated you, you wouldn't blame him if he did.

Just as you were about to look away from him, he catches your eyes and looks startled for a moment before his face settles into something deeper. The world seemed to still, the rush of the incoming campers almost reducing to a lull as your eyes focus on his completely.

He always had this effect on you and you hated how just one look from him was enough to melt you, especially now that you were sure he must hate you. His lips curl slightly at the edges as he seemed almost relieved, which you didn't know what for. You feel his gaze go all over your face, checking upon you, just like it did after the war ended and you had come back to the medical site.

You still remember the conversation that had gone down right after that, with you refusing to speak to anyone but him just to break the news of his siblings. His shocked face, almost ghostly white still haunts you to this day. You look away, your heart heavy as you repeat all the reasons in your head, for the umpteenth time, as to why you should stay away from him.

He deserves better people in his life than a murderer

All you've caused right from the beginning is pain to everyone around you

Why would he be any different?

You dig your fingers into your sleeves, staring hard at the fire as you wait for your breath to calm down. The fire seemed to grow bigger as more and more campers piled into the Pavilion. You will your legs to still as you unclench your palms and finally feel your breath return to normal.

You had struggled a lot with panic attacks at the start after the war, but now you were getting better at handling them without having to bother others. You had a technique of counting till ten and humming a lullaby right after, which calmed you down significantly these days. You decide to distract yourself by thinking about tomorrow's Capture the Flag and going over all the strategies you had learnt over the years.

You look up, startled from your thoughts as you see Soonyoung sit next to you on the table. You hadn't even seen him approach. Your eyes widen as you take in his state. He was sporting a huge bandaid on his chin and a cut near his eyebrow. "What happened to you?" you ask as you look for any other place where he might be hurt. You looked down at his hands in his lap as he clenched his fist. His knuckles were bruised as well.

"Oh these are nothing, just some fight that went messy," he replied casually, avoiding eye contact. You raise an eyebrow, "A sword fight went so messy that you bruised your knuckles?" you ask already sniffing out his lie. He hesitates before saying, "This wasn't a sword fight, I was engaged in physical combat and the mortals sure know how to throw a nasty punch."

"Gods Soonyoung, the mortals?! I thought you had just gotten into a brawl with one of your siblings. Why were you even messing around with the mortals?" you exclaim. "I was just curious as to how they fight and snuck into one of their events. Their techniques are different than ours and I sure have a lot to learn from them. Maybe I should go back soon and ask them to teach me their ways", he ponders.

"Hoshi, you cannot go to the mortal world. What if some monster comes after you? Do you really want to fight more, especially without anyone helping you?" you knew you had offended him when you saw the expression on his face. You wince slightly as he replies, "You know I can very well handle a few monsters on my own. Need I remind you who lead the war with you? As for the mortal world and the fighting, I know you're worried that I'm fighting too much these days but trust me, this is what Ares' kids do. We study wars and different combat techniques. I like learning them and I'm having fun".

Knowing there was no changing his mind, you let out a sigh as you say, "You're right, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to reprimand you, just be careful." He gives you a side-hug as he replies cheekily, "It's fine, I know you're worried but I've managed to win a fight with you, I'm sure I can handle anyone at this point".

That gets a smile out of you as you ask, "Who patched you up though? Is someone else handling the infirmary now because that does not look like Jun's work". He clears his throat, avoiding your eyes again as he replies, "Just some mortals, I didn't go to the infirmary." You frown at him, about to question him more when Chiron rises from his seat and announces the commencement of dinner, "Everyone will gather together and go cabin by cabin to the campfire to offer a portion of their food to the gods."

You miss the sigh of relief Soonyoung lets out as you both rise up from your table and fill your plates with food as you wait for your turn. "Now the cabin three, Poseidon's cabin, can go burn their food in the fire." Chiron says, eyeing Soonyoung as you both step closer to the campfire. You let out a chuckle as you see Soonyoung huff. While not against the rules, it was still unusual for campers to sit at the tables of different cabins during meals.

Throwing a portion of your food into the fire, you suppress your laughter as you see Soonyoung throwing only a carrot into the fire. "Geez Soonie, leave some for yourself too. The gods don't need that much food." you tease as he replies, "To hell with the Gods." You pause as you look up at the sky which immediately rumbles with thunder making you both snicker. Zeus was so predictable. You both take a seat at your table, digging into the food as you discuss about the Capture the Flag. Soonyoung starts explaining the strategy that he thought of as you interrupt him, "Wait I'm with the Ares cabin this time?"

"Yes, unless you want to team up with the Apollo's cabin as usual then feel free to switch. I'm sure Jun would love to have you on his team again." he says looking up from his plate, already knowing what your reply would be. "You're a menace. Fine, I'll play on your team. Also, we both know Jun doesn't like Capture the Flag so I doubt he'd want to participate let alone have me on his team." you reply as you glance at Jun before looking away, not wanting to make eye contact with him again. Soonyoung hums looking straight at you as he replies , "That's true but I'm sure he would be enthusiastic to play if it meant that you would stop avoiding him."

"I'm not avoiding him, it's just…complicated", you say looking down at your plate as you pick at the vegetables. "I know", you hear Soonyoung say gently before he, thankfully, changes the topic to the post-dinner campfire.

You both discuss how to sneak away into your respective cabins after just a few songs and Soonyoung's happy that you're a bit more cheerful than before. He saw how shaken up you were when he had just joined you at the table earlier in the night, you were probably going through another panic episode. He hated how you didn't ask for help and wanted to manage everything on your own.

Soonyoung knew you just needed some time before you started talking to Jun again and unlike what you believed he was sure Jun didn't hate you. Quite the opposite actually. Anyone with eyes could see that Jun was smitten with you even after months of silence from your end. Soonyoung just hoped the two of you would figure it out eventually, he missed his friends together even though he was third-wheeling most of the time.

Now, onto the capture the flag game, he couldn't wait to implement the game plan he had learnt from the mortals. He grins excitedly as he goes into the full details of his strategy with you, knowing that you needed a distraction and that you'll have a lot of fun.

You take a deep breath, fiddling with your helmet as you wait for the game to start. Looking over to your right, you spot Soonyoung giving instructions to few of your teammates. Your team consisted of the Ares-Poseidon-Hermes-Hephaestus cabins and Hoshi had gone all out this time with the strategy. The plan was that both of you would be trying to capture the flag of the opposite team while the others either guarded your flag or laid out obstacles for the other team.

You would be running directly towards the other team's flag while Soonyoung would take a sneakier path that he was sure most of the campers didn't know about. You double-checked that it wasn't very dangerous because you were sure if given the chance, he would go into the labyrinth as well.

Your path was much simpler, you just had to run through your side of the forest, cross the river and then cross any of the obstacles laid out by the other team. You had your bracelet in your pocket, one that was gifted by Jun ages ago, which would transform into a sword when clicked.

Each of the participating cabins had contributed atleast one magical item for today's game. Jake from Hephaestus cabin had this idea of forging hot metal which would increase the temperature within seconds once activated, disabling the opponents from the fight.

To nobody's surprise, Soonyoung had liked this idea very much and encouraged the team to use them whenever they were stuck in a fight. Strapping a few of these balls inside your belt, you looked up when Soonyoung approached you.

"Are you sure you're ready to swim across the river? I know you have been staying away from the water for a while", he says with a frown, looking worried. Well, you had thought of this multiple times after Soonyoung had explained his strategy. Though slightly apprehensive, you knew you had to face your fear and get over with it. You had avoided your water powers for almost a year now and it was starting to take a toll on you, being that far away from the water.

"I'm sure Soonie", you reply with a smile, assuring him. He nods at you as he moves to the others, ordering everyone to get to their positions quickly. You hear Chiron blow the horn, signalling the start of the game as you exchange your signature fist-bump with Soonyoung before running off into the forest.

The woods were pitch-black, and you stand still for a few seconds waiting for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. Since you had grown up training in the woods, the path to the river was almost muscle memory. This part of the forest had the least number of monsters so you knew you had to minimise the time spent in this patch.

You run quickly, leaves crunching beneath you as the wind pushes your hair back. You reach the river in record time, taking a deep breath in as you try to keep your nerves at bay. You feel the memories of the war threatening to take over your mind before you block them and jump into the water.

The moment you touched the surface of the river, it felt like a thousand needles had penetrated into your skin. You felt the water seep through your clothes as you allowed yourself to be dragged into the river. You breathed out calmly and felt the bubbles rise up towards the surface.

You hoped the water could still recognise you. Soon enough, you could feel a bubble form around you, breathing becoming a lot easier. Your clothes started drying as the bubble took you to the surface of the river. With little to no difficulty, you manage to swim to the shore, feeling energised by being in the water.

Being away from the ocean for so long had definitely taken a toll on you. Your immunity and stamina had reduced significantly, something Soonyoung had pointed out, worried if you would be able to do this for the game. It was the doubt he had that spurred you into action, making sure that you would be the one to capture the flag before him. That was how it was with Soonyoung. If there was anyone who could push you to your limits so that you improve, it would be him.

Getting out of the river, you quickly double-check for all your weapons before you start running towards the hill which you were sure had the flag of the opponent team. You come across a huge chunk of leaves, a poorly laid trap by the Apollo team. You step aside swiftly, continuing your journey. At the foot of the hill, you hear the rustling of a few branches which makes you pause.

You take out your bracelet, which immediately morphs into a sword, as you brace yourself for an attack. You see Connor jump down the tree and step in front of you, followed by many others from the opponent team. You tap your foot, a bit unsure if you could take on so many demigods in a fight. It had been quite a long time since you had been in a sword fight and the clock was ticking. Taking a deep breath, you reach for the heat bomb fastened to your belt before dropping it.

You see their faces morph into panic and then confusion as they all gather around the ball, bending down to look at it. Had they not learnt anything during training? You count till three before watching the smoke start to rise from the bomb.

You slip away with a slight smirk as they start shrieking at the rapidly rising temperature. Though lasting only for a couple of minutes, the heat bomb did have rapid affects. Everyone would have to vacate the area within a minute if they didn't want to be severely burnt by the heat. Jake really outdid himself this time.

Keeping the time in mind, you run as fast as you can up the hill only stopping once you're sure you got a safe distance away from the bomb. You wait for a minute to catch your breathe before starting to run up the hill once again. You really wanted to get to the flag before Soonyoung. Reaching the top, you slow down to a tip-toe, not wanting to alert the demigods guarding the flag.

Peeking your head out of the woods, you look around trying to locate the flag. This was a barren patch of the hill, with little to no grass growing on it. Slowly taking a step forward, you keep your sword ready just incase it was needed. Seeing the flag at the edge of the hill, you smile triumphantly before you notice the person beside it.

Oh.

Even though he had his back turned towards you, you could still recognise him anywhere. You take slow steps towards the flag, hoping they would not notice. You'd rather not fight with Jun today. You stop in your step as Mia looks up from her seat beside the flag and notices you. Well, there goes your plan of not fighting.

She whispers something to Jun and you stay rooted at your spot as he turns towards you. Something which you didn't want to decipher crosses through his eyes as he takes out his sword and steps towards you.

"Look, I don't want to fight. Can you just give me the flag? I'll get out of your hair after that. I just really need to beat Soonyoung", you say as you look into his eyes. You could feel yourself getting pulled into them before you shake your head slightly and look away. It was always those damned eyes. Jun suppresses a smile, deciding to tease you slightly as he replies, "Tell me why you've been avoiding me for so long first and maybe then I'll give you the flag. Otherwise you'll just have to win it from me."

Your breath stutters as you take in his words, your gaze jumping around all over his face. He had grown his hair slightly and a few strands were falling into his eyes. You clenched your hand, fighting the urge to brush them back. This was not the time to be having these thoughts about Jun. You smile, deciding to go along with his teasing as you reply, "Game on then, Mia you're the referee for this match."

Mia raised her eyebrows as she nodded. She didn't want to witness a match between the two of you. There were already enough moments like these throughout the year, but if this was what it might take to get you both to finally talk to each other, then she would be all for it. She couldn't stand Jun moping around for another day.

You both unclasp your swords and stand in front of each other. Though Jun preferred Archery more than sword fighting, he was pretty good at using a sword as well. He had grown up observing Soonyoung and you training, and he had picked up on a few tricks himself.

Stepping forward, he waits for you to deliver the first blow. He had no plans of playing the offensive today. Quite frankly, the only reason he suggested this match was so that he could spend some time with you where you didn't act as if he never existed.

You take a swipe at his side, watching him block your sword and pushing it away slightly, making you frown. Why wasn't he attacking you today? You go at him with even more force but watch him do the same thing again. "Why are you not putting your full effort today Jun?" you ask, your frown deepening. "What do you mean, this is my best", he replied, casually stepping away from one of your attacks.

You scrunch your eyebrows, before deciding to play a move which would force him to attack you. "Look, you really aren't doing your best! You could've easily defeated me right here. Why are you going easy on me?!" you exclaim after seeing him twist his wrist and disarm you for a second, before kicking your sword back towards you. He just smiles slightly, deepening your frown. Gods, he was so annoying.

Remembering that you still had a match to win, you come to the conclusion that his strategy might just be to distract you from bringing their flag to your team. Deciding to finish the fight, you fling your leg around his, his sword rattling somewhere away as you point yours to his neck.

You both huff, taking deep breaths of air as Jun starts to smile. "You're still as competitve as ever, glad to see that hasn't changed", he says, looking up at you, making you roll your eyes as you pull your sword away from him.

You stretch your neck as you pick up the flag, looking at Mia who simply raises her hands in surrender. You stop near Jun, who was still laying on the ground as you say, "And you've gone soft, Junnie." Looking at the smile he gives you, you can't help but break out into a grin of your own before schooling your expression. Stepping away from him, you nod at both of them before breaking into a run down the hill. You still had a match to win.

The way back to your team wasn't very difficult. You just had to set off the heat bomb once, though this time they were faster in running away than before. The swim across the river was also easier than before, which was something that made you feel more energised than ever.

Reaching your team site, you see Soonyoung tapping his foot on the ground with his arms crossed. He breaks out into a smile as you run towards him while removing your helmet and say, "You didn't even stand a chance Soonie, I got there before you."

He takes the flag out of your hands with a chuckle as he ruffles your hair. "You are correct about that, the climb up the cliff was way too difficult", he says with a groan as he stretches. "I told you it was reckless and difficult but when do you ever listen to me", you scold him as you cross your arms. He just laughs at you fondly before you ask, "Did the other team even manage to capture our flag?"

"No, our defense was really strong. They spent most of the game in a sword fight and at last they gave up", Soonyoung replied with a shrug as he leads you to the rest of the team. The team breaks out into cheers as they see the flag in Hoshi's hands. This was the first Capture the Flag you had participated in after the war and you were glad you had managed to win for the team.

You see the opponent team approach as you all gather towards the fountain waiting for Chiron to announce your team as the winner. You spot Jun, only to find him already looking at you with a smile. You frown at him in return. Weird, didn't he hate you? You hear Soonyoung stifle a chuckle making you look at him with the same frown still present on your face.

"What's so funny?" you ask him. "Nothing, just the fact the you're so oblivious it's actually hurting me", he replies with a shrug, still grinning. Was he talking about Jun? Just as you're about to question him further, you see Chiron emerge, everyone hushing each other to listen to the winning announcement.

Chiron clears his throat, pushing his glasses up as he says, "The winner of this week's Capture the Flag competition is Team 1 which was led by Soonyoung. They especially had very good defense strategy. Give them a round of applause." You grin as you clap with the rest of the demigods, happy about how the day had turned out.

Everyone started dispersing when Connor suddenly shouts, "Oh, what is that?". You turn to look at where he was pointing and see the Oracle of Delphi slowly approaching the crowd. Shriveled-looking with long black hair clung to her skull, she wore a headband and a tie-dyed green dress. Her beaded necklaces moved with each step she took.

You take a step back, trying to blend into the crowd hoping that she wouldn't approach you regarding the prophecy. Remembering that the Oracle's presence always affected Mia and Jun more, your turn to look at them. You see Jun clutching his head, before his gaze suddenly snapped to you.

His worried look only scared you more as you took another step back, watching the crowd split to make way for her. She, slow as ever, continues to walk towards where you were just moments ago and stops in front of Soonyoung. You huff out a breath, relieved, immediately feeling guilty later for such a reaction.

A green mist pours out of her mouth, surrounding each one of the demigods as her hissing starts echoing inside your head.

You shall go east, along with the daughter of sea

A journey, embark on it or destruction you shall see

Venturing into the ever-changing maze

You shall realize the fate in the haze

Face the undefeated once again

Conquer it and power you shall regain

The Oracle of Delphi collapses onto the rock beside Soonyoung, her eyes turning black, probably never to move again for many centuries to come. You make your way through the crowd, reaching Soonyoung and placing a hand on his shoulder. You feel the eyes of rest of the campers on the two of you as Chiron ushers all the cabin heads to the Big House.

Turning back, you look at Jun standing with his lips pursed and arms crossed. He meets your eyes almost immediately and you could see the waves of worry in them even from such a distance. The quest mentioned a Daughter of the Sea. Unless Poseidon had a secret daughter you never knew of, it was you that was supposed to go on this quest with Soonyoung.

You look back at Hoshi worriedly and he reaches up to squeeze your hand on his shoulder slightly before letting go as you both walk towards The Big House together. Looking back, you see all of the other cabin heads following you, Jun included, with his head down and fist clenched deep into his pocket.

You face the door again, the voices of Mr.D and Chiron already audible. This was the first quest assigned to a demigod after the war, nobody daring to seek the Oracle till now. Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand to knock on the door before hearing a faint "Come in". You look at Soonyoung as he opens the door for the both of you to step in.

Here we go again.

[onionhassayyo]

WHO HOLDS YOUR WORLD?

Synopsis: She heard their whispers, even though she pretended not to. “She doesn’t apply herself.” “She cares TOO much.” “She’s a liability.” They don’t know that she holds the whole world for them. Her parents, her siblings, her friends, her job. And when she refuses to carry it all anymore, she gets called the villain. And so the cracks begin to form. She holds it together for as long as possible, but when the walls come tumbling down, who is there to hold the world for her?

Status: ongoing

Total Word Count: to be determined

Pairing: Psychiatrist!Joshua Hong x Fem!Psychiatric Nurse!Reader

Themes: Angst, Fluff, Hurt, Comfort, Crack

Warnings: Psychiatry (lingo, diagnoses, current and past practice mentions), Nursing (the bad side of it like bullying), Prejudice (against mental health issues, disabilities), Descriptions of Mental Health Crisis (panic attack, BPAD depressive and manic state episodes)

Author's Note: This work is a part of THE BLOCKBUSTERS COLLABORATION. Massive thank yous to our darling hosts and managers Em @gyuswhore, Izzy @jakedustry, Luna @belovedgyu, and Rae @nerdycheol for giving us smaller Carat writers a platform of our own to find our voices. To my fellow collaborators @chogiwaw @paradiseonthemoon @pomegranate-teardrop @caratchronicles @livmarauder @cxffecoupx @cherrymayz @mellowgyu @gentleisa @hopecutie @luvrung and @choco-scoups for all your support, encouragement and friendship, I am so grateful. Please have a look at everyone’s work for this collab and in general. Mi people dem write good ya ‘ear. 💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾 An extra special thank you to my favourite and only Ghanaian gyal. Love you sweetie.😉

~ TJ ~

Dividers: @enchanthings

Banner: yours truly

PROLOGUE

There wasn’t much said between Joshua and yourself between last week’s ICP and now. You had both obviously shared rounds, done handovers, and sent correspondence over the course of the week, but if it didn’t have anything to do with patient care it wasn’t spoken.

And truly how could you speak to the man who had given you such a thorough verbal beat down, that your only wish since the encounter was to fade into non-existence rather than have to even interact with him again.

The comment he had made about you being “...a fish that saw a bird and now wants to fly...” was on replay in your mind since he made it. 

Words sharp as katanas.

He knew the pain they would cause when he uttered them, and yet he said them anyway. And that was why you couldn’t stand him. He is honestly one of the most petty, bitter men you’ve had the displeasure of knowing. Somehow even worse than the senior nurses you’ve survived being ‘eaten’ by. And the worst part is- clearly it is going to get worse before it gets better.

In more ways than one.

“Are you two still not talking?” Seungkwan asks, nudging you with his hip while checking through the ICP documents and patient files for the last time before the rest of the team came into the meeting room.

“Of course we’ve spoken.” you attempt to bluff, as if Kwannie doesn’t superimpose a Pinocchio nose on your face whenever you lie. “I told him to have a good day two days ago, and he wished me the same. It was probably a curse on his end though because not even 30 minutes later, I then proceeded to spill tea on my brand new scrub pants, and I still can’t get the stain out. He is the definition of a jinx, that man.”

“And you are head over heels in love with him.” Seungkwan counters, the grin on his face inescapable.

The look you give him back can really only be described as affronted.

“If you pull out the Greta Thunberg ‘How dare you?’, we will in fact have to battle royale right here. And I don’t care if your little crush walks in, I will still force several servings of knuckle sandwich straight down your throat.” Seungkwan deadpans, his seriousness palpable. 

Your response? Stick your tongue out at him like the child you are.

“Yo, Sunnie, you have a crush girlie?” A very familiar sing-song tone inquires behind, and you all but freeze on the spot.

The traitor at your side begins to open his mouth to speak, but you intercept with a quick pinch to his hip, spinning around to vehemently deny all charges to the new arrivals. The squeal Kwannie lets out is a small balm to your heart which begins its palpitations once you see that it’s not just Changbin - who had asked the question - that is standing behind you. Attempting to hide the invading sense of alarm, your eyes lock on the one dude to whom you do not want it to have known that you have the capability for feelings, let alone a crush. Immediately all the denying you were about to spew, dies a shrivelled death on your suddenly dehydrated tongue.

The expectant silence that settles on the room is tear-inducing.

“All men do is lie.” is all you are able to say to Changbin in response to his earlier question, because any other form of denial would be adding a woman to the list of falsehood perpetrators. And God forbid you do anything that could set women back, during Halle Berry’s International Women’s Month.

“Let’s begin the ICP shall we. I’ll call in the regulars first.” you deflect further, averting your gaze from Joshua and all the other team members in the room.

And so the ball starts rolling as it always does.

Relatively good time is made on the long-standing patients as usual, the familiarity and solid therapeutic relationship easing the way. Some of them bring up changes they would like to make to their current plans, minor ones that will hopefully help to aid them in being discharged sooner, or conversely make their time here even more comfortable. Both cases are so extremely valid I couldn’t fault it. Once the familiar patients are sorted, you and Seungkwan begin to bring in the newer patients that the doctors have only seen during admission, and have yet to be introduced to the team.

“Peter Kwon, a 37 year old male, not known to the services, presented with mania symptoms to the emergency department at 05:26 two nights ago. Content, volume, and rhythm of speech during assessment were of very poor quality. Delusions of most likely grandeur present and rather difficult to reassure. During initial assessment his main concerns were in relation to his new job. Seems that he was laid off from his old position, not sure where at, and got a new job in an adjacent but still different field. The anxiety around this new job, in addition to him feeling rejected by his old job, seems to have compounded into his current presentation. At several points he stated that he “Needs to do well in this pivot.” No known social support at present, or rather the ones contacted don’t seem to be interested in being linked in.” 

The registrar that delivers the opening assessment notes takes a deep breath after dumping her spiel and smiles like she didn’t just deliver a one-breath rap verse. While she takes a sip of water, chuckles reverb through the room, and someone at the table throws out a sarcastic but fond “Thank you, Slim Shady.”

Meanwhile your mind replays the word that caught your attention and made everything said afterwards sound like static.

Pivot.

As a child of parents with great expectations, the concept of making a career pivot was not viewed without heavy skepticism and disappointment. In their household, you either hit your milestones at the correct ages and stages, or you are considered a developmental failure. Nevermind if you figure out in the first step that you are headed in the wrong direction; once you pick a path you had better stick with it.  

What didn’t help is that in addition to the high expectations, your particular brand of parents relied heavily on you for their survival. Cause God forbid that immigrant parents could consider not making their barely adult children their retirement plan. It isn’t easy to realise that you were unwillingly brought onto a planet to be considered nothing but a safety net.

When you first told your parents that you had been “suggested” for a nursing transfer from your dementia care setting to the psychiatric setting, they didn’t bat an eye about it except to ask if you would be making less money. No queries about why the transfer was happening, or how you were feeling about it, just a simple and detached “If your paycheck gets any lower we won’t have enough to pay for your brother’s tuition, and the portion to the bills that you’re supposed to cover. Can you at least make choices that won’t affect us all for once?”

As if you had made the choice. As if you hadn’t done everything in your power to ensure that you could stay in your old ward. As if you wanted to be whispered about behind your back.

As if you were only what Joshua had said you are.

A fish that saw a bird and now wants to fly.

No room to explore. No grace for a misstep. No second chances.

You must do what is to be done. Bear the responsibility, even if it is killing you.

In environments like that, what would one know of dreams?

Reality and Disney can not coexist after all.

[hopecutie]

loser like me (part one)

there is nothing ironic about show choir, except when you're a junior terrified to audition and end up a lead vocalist. or when you find a place to belong, then are forced to transfer schools and lose touch with everyone. or when, years later, you're presented with the opportunity to coach your former glee club to victory—alongside your old co-vocalist, boo seungkwan. will you find the courage to sing again after all this time? will you and seungkwan pick up where you left off? and will your high school *finally* win nationals?

pairing: boo seungkwan x fem!reader word count: 13.2k for part one warnings: anxiety, stress, academic pressure, reader's parents are controlling with high expectations, mentions of food; additional part two warnings include suggestive themes, smut, alcohol use, burnout—all among adults! please note part one is rated e for everyone; part two will not be - i will be blocking minors and blogs without ages once that goes live. tags: high school au, friends to almost lovers, angst, songfic in the sense that there are song lyrics and optional song links throughout (after all, it is a fic based on the glee universe), ensemble cast as portrayed by other idols (twice, shinee, bts), additional part two tags include time jump, enemies (?) to lovers, more idols from more groups, etc. (as with the warnings, stay tuned). note from the author: and here it is, my contribution to the blockbusters collab! kicking off my list of thank you's with an absolutely iconic trio: luna @belovedgyu, izzy @jakedustry, and rae @nerdycheol. agh! how can i ever repay you for this opportunity?! you are all remarkable, a constant source of wisdom and support for myself and my fellow collab writers throughout the journey. speaking of: the blockbusters crew! we did it! i cannot wait to visit the worlds you've each built with imagination and care over the last few months. it's been a delight to work alongside such creative, kind people for my first-ever collab: @chogiwaw, @paradiseonthemoon, @onionhassayyo, @caratchronicles, @livmarauder, @cxffecoupx, @cherrymayz, @pomegranate-teardrop, @mellowgyu, @gentleisa, @luvrung, and @choco-scoups. everyone go read their work NOWWWW! special shoutout to miss liv of livmarauder fame, who beta read this first part and was an incredible cheerleader from the start of this! and last but certainly not least: to my dearest jamais vu, @joshujin and @jjknj—the space we share in this world is proof that being a part of something special makes you special. thank you for seeing me. i love y'all down bad ffr idgaf #gleekwan4evr [i make an "L" with my left hand and place it on my forehead] alrighty, i'm done yapping for now. aaaaand action!

In any and every universe, there is no denying that Boo Seungkwan is a star.

And no, he's never felt the need to shy away from it—though if you ask any of his teammates on the junior varsity volleyball team, they'll say (lovingly, fondly) that they wish he did. Especially during practice, where his need to commit to the bit means everyone has to suffer the consequences of running five extra laps around the court.

But the magic in seeing him play defense is undeniable. Him in his brightly colored jersey, zooming around as libero, the fire within him illuminating the entire court and his fellow players.

It's why he works best in a team. It's why he's a superstar. And it's why, with an unsung song in his heart, his eyes linger for a moment on a flyer pinned to Maplewood High's bulletin board:

JOIN MAPLEWOOD'S FIRST-EVER GLEE CLUB THIS THURSDAY @ CHOIR ROOM ALL ARE WELCOME

Hours later after your Key Club meeting, you walk past the same flyer and immediately snap your gaze away. As if you intruded on something private. Or rather, as if the flyer intruded on something of yours, deliberately hidden and dimmed.

To your left, Dahyun vents about her 96/100 score in history class. She notices you flinching away from the wall and interrupts herself with a "Wait, what was that?"

Stopped in the middle of the hallway, she cranes her neck and narrows her eyes towards you. As your best friend since junior high, Dahyun knows you a little too well. You do your best to make eye contact without blinking, yet your eyes can't help but shift back to the board.

"There it is again. Hm…" Dahyun taps on her chin inquisitively. She follows your line of sight and notices the Glee Club flyer. "Ah! I've cracked the case!"

She reads, then proceeds to stare at you with wide eyes. "Oh my gosh, let's go!"

"What?! No! No way. We are not going. What would we even do there?!"

"Um…sing? That's the whole point?" Dahyun groans. "Come on, I know you want to go. You love to sing!"

"Well, 'love' is a strong word. I only sort of like singing." You're hardly convincing yourself at this point.

"Oh, you sweet summer child," says Dahyun. "I'm not gonna peer pressure you into going, but I don't know. I think it might be a lot of fun. And I think it might make you happy."

"I just don't have time, between college prep and homework and—"

Dahyun scoffs dramatically. "Ugh okay, we get it! You're boring!"

You let out a giggle in response as she continues. "Look, why don't we just go check it out? And if we don't like it, we leave!"

"Okay fine, we'll go. But I am not singing!"

Dahyun loops her arm through yours with a melodic string of "sure sure sure"s as you walk to the school parking lot.

Thursday arrives faster than you expected, your nerves taking over as you walk into the choir room on your own.

A few other students are already there. You recognize Vernon from AP Chem, an easygoing guy even when you've almost blown up a few lab experiments. Then, there's Chan, who you've known since elementary school. You even spent a few years carpooling together since you live in the same neighborhood; though you both orbit in different circles at Maplewood, you still consider him a good friend.

Chan's busy chatting with someone, so now you're unsure of where to sit. That is, until a girl waves. You quickly look back to make sure it's directed at you and confirm that yep, it sure is.

You wave back and head to the seat next to her, worried she'll change her mind for some reason.

"Hi," you say, trying not to sound frightened.

"Hey!" she responds confidently. "You're in my PE class, right?"

You pause to take in her wavy brunette hair, the small mole on her nose and her wide eyes, then place them in a memory. A few weeks ago, you stepped out of the locker room and heard hushed whispers around you. You paid it no mind, only to have this girl tap you on the shoulder and point to the toilet paper stuck on your shoe. She then glared at the girls laughing, which had them scurrying away to the gym. She gave you a wink and a wave then walked off, leaving you in a daze.

You shake yourself out of the thought. "Oh my gosh, you're the toilet paper girl. Wait no. I mean, you told me about my toilet paper."

She smiles. "I'm Jihyo. I didn't know you sang!"

"Oh, does she ever." You immediately recognize Dahyun's voice, as Jihyo gestures at an empty seat next to you guys so she can join. "Hey hey, Jihyo."

You stare at your friend, puzzled, and Dahyun responds with a simple "We're in French class together!" Dahyun then points at you. "She has the most beautiful voice. You're gonna freak out when you hear it."

You're ready to deny that claim when a gentleman in a grey turtleneck, fuzzy olive cardigan, and slacks walks in. He sets his satchel atop the grand piano at the center of the room, then turns to the class.

"Good afternoon, everyone! I see some familiar faces from Literature class. And to those of you I haven't met, my name is Jinki but here, in these halls, I go by Mr. Lee."

"Now," Mr. Lee continues. "I'm sure if you're here, it's because you want to sing. Well, you've come the right place and…you're all in! Welcome to Maplewood's inaugural Glee Club."

Everyone looks at each other surprised. Chan speaks up to say what's on everyone's mind, his brows furrowed: "Huh? But you haven't heard us sing!"

"Yes, of course! Excellent segue." Mr. Lee walks up to the whiteboard and takes a dry erase marker to it. With a flourish, he writes the word DUETS. He then grabs a stack of post-its from his bag.

"As we rehearse for show choir competitions, we'll also have assignments to refine our performance skills," Mr. Lee explains as he passes out post-its to the end of each row. "Everyone please write down your name. Our first theme will have you pair up at random and prepare a duet. Consider it a way to break the ice and gain some confidence in yourselves and in each other."

Mr. Lee procures a hat from his bag, walking around the room collecting everyone's folded up notes. "You see, Glee is about teamwork. It's not about one person being the star. It's more…like a constellation that glows brighter than we ever could on our own.

"If you showed up here today, it's because you want to share your light with others. You want to open your hearts to something special—and by its very definition, glee is about opening yourself up to joy."

Mr. Lee pauses with a self-aware chuckle. "So with that rather sappy beginning to our first meeting, I hope you guys stick around and take something away from this journey we'll be on together. Now let's pick out some names, starting with…Vernon!"

"Yes sir," Vernon says with a little salute to Mr. Lee, then draws a name with zero suspense. He chooses Dahyun. After a few other pairs are formed, Jihyo draws Chan. You follow right after, momentarily swirling your hand around the remaining folded notes.

"Seungkwan?" your voice goes up as if asking a question.

You scan the room then see a boy in the first row raise his hand. Seungkwan wears a long flannel and jean shorts, soft brown bangs framing his face. He holds a Maplewood Volleyball water bottle, and you recognize him as the Junior Varsity team captain. You attended a game once—after Dahyun practically begged to go because they advertised a t-shirt cannon—and remember him zooming around the court in a neon orange shirt with "BOO" written on it, the two O's decorated as oranges.

You go take a seat next to Seungkwan. "Alright, we've got all our duos!" Mr. Lee announces. "Please take these last five minutes or so to introduce yourselves and decide on next steps."

The room bursts into a flurry of voices as you and Seungkwan try easing into conversation.

"Hello," he says shyly, giving you a small bow with his head.

"Hi," your voice just a few decibels above a whisper as you offer him your name. Seungkwan repeats it back to you. His demeanor mirrors the excitement you're feeling at that moment.

"I've seen you play before," you blurt out, catching yourself off guard. "You're really good! Singing on a stage is probably gonna be a piece of cake for you."

Seungkwan taps his fingers on his legs and sucks in a breath through gritted teeth. "I'm a bit nervous, to be honest. I really just sing in the shower nowadays. What about you?"

Although you don't necessarily enjoy that Seungkwan's nervous, you do feel reassured by his honesty. "Oh, I'm terrified. I've never sung in front of anyone—except maybe my parents when they walk past the bathroom."

"There's nothing like a shower concert," Seungkwan notes, his tone a bit playful. "The acoustics are incredible in there, really."

"Right?! Perfect for a concert dedicated to my adoring fans," you add.

"Exactly! I love when the shampoo starts chanting." He puts his hands on either side of his mouth. "Woo! Encore, encore, encore!"

"Where would I be without my loyal shampoo?" You pretend to wipe a stray tear from your eye, which makes the two of you giggle and lean into each other.

"So." Seungkwan clears his throat, then asks, "How should we go about this? Maybe we should pick some songs on our own then get together and discuss?"

"Yeah, sounds perfect," you say. You end up exchanging numbers, and agree to make plans following your big math test next week. To this, Seungkwan makes an impressed noise—after all, you are part of a select few juniors taking a course exclusive to seniors.

The choir room is starting to empty and you remember your mom is waiting for you. As you both gather your things, Seungkwan pauses to stare at you. He fidgets with the sleeves of his flannel then goes, "Um…good luck on your test. I'm sure you'll do really good." The genuine, sweet way he says it causes a small blush to travel to your face.

"Thanks." The word feels like it floats out of your mouth like a piece of cotton candy, gently falling onto the floor and dissolving.

He gives you a quiet "bye" as he leaves. You follow shortly after and go outside to meet your mom, who spends the drive home rattling off about college acceptance rates or whatever she's fixated on today. You only half-listen as you replay the afternoon in your head.

And maybe you replay your exchange with Seungkwan a bit more than other things. But you would never admit that out loud.

You've spent the better part of your weekend at your desk, working through all your schoolwork and studying. Usually, you're good at getting into it, taking a break, then getting back into it once more.

But not this weekend. You find yourself distracted, going through your music library in hopes of finding a perfect suggestion for you and Seungkwan's duet. You don't know his vocal style or range. You don't even know if he's a good singer. Still, you compile an array of options that at least you would feel comfortable singing.

Before you know it, evening has arrived. You're definitely behind schedule. To make up for lost time researching songs, you focus in again with your new playlist in the background.

As you ferociously annotate your copy of The Great Gatsby, something starts playing and you know this is the song. Screw it, you think as you get up to grab your phone from your nightstand.

you: hey! ✨

Immediately, a response.

seungkwan: hi!

seungkwan: wait hold on… shouldn't you be studying, ma'am? 🫵🤨

you: 🙄🙄🙄

seungkwan: i can't have my duet partner failing math

you: i'm not FAILING, seungkwan. i actually have been studying. but i also am here with a song i think we could do for our duet

seungkwan: i'm all ears 👂

You send a link to the song, then wait a few minutes for a text back. Oh no, he hates it, you worry.

Finally, your phone dings. "i love it. yes. let's do it." You don't notice how much you've been smiling during this exchange until your cheeks start to hurt.

you: amazing! wanna meet tuesday after school so we can practice?

seungkwan: sounds like a plan ☺️

It takes everything in you not to sprint out of the classroom as soon as the bell rings. You stop by your locker to grab sheet music, then all but power walk to the choir room.

You hear Seungkwan before you see him. He plunks out a few notes at the piano, his lips in a focused pout.

"Boo!" you yell as you come up next to him. Seungkwan lets out a shriek, which startles you. You then dissolve into giggles, nearly falling to the ground as he clutches his chest to calm himself down.

"Ha ha. I get it. Boo. Very funny," he deadpans, staring at you judgmentally.

"I'm sorry, I just saw you were so focused and I couldn't help it," you confess, still gathering yourself from your laughing fit.

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow. "Apology NOT accepted," he jokes. "But I will learn to forgive. In the meantime, I guess I'll enjoy these strawberry croissants from The Lima Bean all on my own." He lets out a dramatic sigh as he gestures to a box seated next to him on the piano bench.

"No way!" You exclaim. "They're my favorite. How did you know?!"

Seungkwan tries his best to keep his poker face. "I did not know that. But they're my favorite, too. Which is why it'll be so easy to eat both."

You frown and cross your arms in protest. Your expression immediately makes him crack.

"You look like I just kicked a puppy in front of you or something."

"Nuh uh!" You object. "This is worse! Gimme my croissant!"

You go to grab the box from him, but Seungkwan's reflexes are too quick for you. You curse under your breath, for your beloved strawberry croissant is being held captive by a literal volleyball player. Suddenly you're both running around the choir room like you're kids on a playground.

After what feels like hours of this, the perfect play manifests: Seungkwan stands on his tiptoes right in front of you, the box held high above his head, and you wrap your arms around his torso. Seungkwan, completely disarmed by this, makes a startled sound and brings his arms around you.

"Hah! Finally!" You rejoice, but are too tired to turn around and grab the pastry box. You lean into Seungkwan for a moment too long, only becoming aware of what's happening when you can smell his laundry detergent: fresh with the slightest touch of floral.

Oh. Right. You remember why you're here in the first place, shuffling out of Seungkwan's embrace. He's flushed red, holding out the box to you while staring at the floor in front of him. "Alright, you win," he squeaks out.

You grab the box, panicked, and decide to pivot the conversation. "Should we um…should we practice now? Maybe treats after, as a reward?"

Seungkwan nods as you both sit at the piano bench together. With no fanfare or theatrics, he places his fingers on the keys and sings the first few notes of Lay Me Down by Sam Smith.

Yes, I do, I believe / That one day I will be where I was / Right there, right next to you / And it's hard, the days just seem so dark / The moon, the stars are nothing without you

You stare at Seungkwan in awe. His voice is rich, grounding, like moonlight peering through a window. It's a voice that cradles the words he's singing with care. A voice that confesses without hesitation, reaching to you, inviting you in to sing along.

To understand, to let yourself be understood. So you join in at the chorus, and you each find your key, like two baby deer learning to walk, nudging each other to harmonize.

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you / And make sure you're all right? / I'll take care of you / I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

Seungkwan presses on the last note, your voice and his blending together with the sound of the piano. It all clicks into place. You're both mesmerized.

"Wow," he exhales. "Your voice is beautiful."

"I could say the same about yours," you respond. Without saying another word, you both know there is no going back from whatever magic just transpired. Not that you want to. And looking into his eyes, you don't think Seungkwan wants to go back either.

He brings you to reality with a simple question: "Croissant?" Next thing you know, you're sitting on the floor of the choir room, not a single moment of silence between the two of you. You talk about your early interest in music and briefly taking lessons. You tell him about your parents: how their love means ensuring you never struggle the way they did, which meant taking you out of those lessons in favor of something more practical. You tell him about your favorite artists and albums and musicals, how they've become your safe space away from all the expectations placed upon you to succeed.

Seungkwan echoes your candidness and tells you about his years in church choir, how he loved being in the spotlight. He tells you how along the way, he left it behind in favor of playing sports, because being a boy who sings held a stigma around it that he gathered he should be afraid of. He tells you how his favorite thing is making other people happy, how he joined Glee Club as a way to do something for his truest self.

In all this, you don't notice the sun setting outside or the school janitor clocking in or the fact that Seungkwan did indeed eat his entire croissant and half of yours. You also don't see the multiple missed calls and texts from your mom, asking where you are.

"Oh my god," you jolt yourself off the floor and pace around, gathering your things. "Oh my god."

Seungkwan can only follow your movements, confused. "I gotta go. My mom's been waiting for me," you tell him.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry," he apologizes as he starts cleaning up. "I hope you're not in any trouble."

You can feel your heartbeat racing. "For what it's worth," Seungkwan states, interrupting your frantic thoughts. "This was the most fun I've had all week. Dare I say all year."

You scoff at that as you manage to still your breathing. "Yeah, me too."

You quickly say your goodbyes and run to the school exit. Once you approach the car, you swing the door open and stumble into the passenger side. You're winded, yet you still dive into an apology and an excuse for why you're so late.

"Studying! So much studying! Phew! So tired!" You can tell your mom isn't buying any of it, and you know she's particularly disappointed when the rest of the car ride is spent in complete silence. The more time passes, the more anxiety builds in the pit of your stomach. You know the best thing to do is to stay quiet, so you march to your room as soon as you arrive home.

You have plenty of homework to get through, but deep down, all you want to do is research more songs for Glee Club. You don't allow yourself the time to do that, however, deciding you need to work as a means to balance out what a lovely time you had. Some kind of repenting or whatever.

Admittedly, you listen to Lay Me Down on a loop the whole night. To prepare for your performance, of course. Definitely not for daydreaming purposes.

The next meeting takes place in the school auditorium. As you walk in, everyone is scattered around chatting with their duet partners. You find Seungkwan sitting quietly a few rows back, headphones in and likely listening to your song.

After what happened with your mom, it was him who suggested practicing during lunch instead of after school. That unfortunately meant keeping your yapping to a minimum in favor of rehearsing. But you'd started texting almost non-stop throughout the day, so it didn't feel like you were missing out on quality time (though you wouldn't mind yapping more in person).

For your performance, you agreed on a simple dress code: black and white. Seungkwan wears a ruffled white dress shirt paired with a structured black blazer and jeans. Meanwhile, you opted for a pleated black and white colorblock dress. You question if you were overdressed, then see someone walk in like they're going to a renaissance fair. Glee Club sure is something else.

As soon as Seungkwan sees you, he sits up straighter and flashes you a giant smile. He pats the seat next to him as you give him a "hey" and plop yourself down. You make a grabby hand toward one of his earbuds. He passes it to you with a wink and you proceed to sit together in comfortable silence, listening to your song once more.

Mr. Lee walks onto the stage, delighted as he takes in the space. "You guys really came through for our first assignment. How's everyone feeling?" The students all cheer in response. As he goes through the afternoon's logistics, you catch a glimpse of Dahyun and Vernon situating themselves on stage. They're both in their best 2000s-era punk outfits: her accessorized in Converse, fingerless gloves, and a neck tie, him with a graphic tee and baggy jeans, holding an electric guitar.

The stage lights come on as they stand center stage, right behind microphone stands. Vernon lifts up his hand to shield his eyes from the lights. "Whoa," he says. "Gotta get used to this."

"So…this is a throwback," Vernon continues. "It's a good song though, so hope you guys like it."

"Rock and roll!" Dahyun yells off-mic, posing to the audience with a "rock on" sign and garnering a few chuckles. Vernon starts strumming along to a backing track of Complicated by Avril Lavigne. Dahyun takes the beginning part—

Uh-huh, life's like this / Uh-huh, uh-huh / That's the way it is

—then Vernon hops in for the first verse:

Chill out, whatcha yellin' for? / Lay back, it's all been done before / And if you could only let it be / You will see

About halfway through, some people take out their phones and turn on their flashlights as if at a concert. Dahyun and Vernon spend most of the song behind their mics and on occasion looking to each other, bopping their heads to the beat. It's simple and understated with their charming stage presence. You can tell both of them are having the best time performing.

The end is met with roaring applause as they walk back to their seats. Following them are two girls in prom dresses singing Dancing Queen by ABBA, then Chan and Jihyo. Chan wears his best pop star fit featuring a fedora and attempts to do an arm wave dance move as the stage crew resets. He's always been quite the performer, your time carpooling as kids featuring him belting his heart out to all the Top 40 hits.

Meanwhile, Jihyo matches Chan's it boy vibe with her own it girl outfit: boot-cut jeans, crisp white sneakers, and a velvet zip-up hoodie. The two have prepared Rihanna & Ne-Yo's Hate That I Love You with a whole routine choreographed, Chan doing a hat trick as he and Jihyo hit a high note that they harmonize perfectly on ("and I hate that I love you so"). It's incredible and you're in disbelief that you share a classroom with them.

As they reach the final chorus, Seungkwan nudges you. You forgot you had to perform—and that you're up next. As the duo preceding you takes their bows, Chan stays back to help wheel the piano onto the front of the stage along with an extremely tall guy that you recognize as Mingyu, Seungkwan's best friend and teammate. He pats Seungkwan on the shoulder and gives you a thumbs-up.

During your rehearsals, you and Seungkwan tried a few different configurations for performing and ultimately decided on sitting at the piano bench, just like the first time you sang together.

From the front row, Mr. Lee indicates that you're good to go and Seungkwan's fingers graze the keys. It becomes clearer each time that when you're here, accompanied by music, you're not flooded by overthinking. All that exists is the present, the way your two voices swim around one another with an ease you can't quite wrap your mind around. You are simply buoyed by the crescendo, all the way through the end of the song. Except this time, rather than being met by an awe-struck silence, a roar of applause startles you.

Seungkwan and you take your bows, the other students somehow growing louder and after a moment to take it all in, you walk offstage and back to your seats.

You briefly notice that Mr. Lee wipes a few tears from his eyes, gathering himself to stand in front of his seat and face the students. "I don't even know where to begin. Thank you all for bringing your A-game today. And trust me when I say this: we're gonna do amazing at our first competition! Here's to our first performances of many together!" Mr. Lee ends in leading another round of applause and bids you all farewell.

You notice how late it's gotten so you give a few rushed goodbyes to everyone including Seungkwan. You both promise to text each other later, though.

As you get into the car, your mom sees your outfit is different and much more formal than what she saw you in that morning. "Where were you?" she asks, her voice strict.

"Uh…" you trail off and rack your brain for yet another excuse. Her expression is heavy, though familiar: her scrutiny standing guard over your decisions, big and small, placed onto your shoulders with a bittersweet grin at times or with tense lips during others. Like now, for example. Your automatic response is always to scramble out an apology, to clean up your mistakes, to vow to never do whatever you did again.

But today is different. Fresh from being on stage, you remember how it felt to gaze into the crowd and see your joy mirrored after sharing something you worked so hard on. Not for accolades or approval but simply because you wanted to. You can't imagine stopping this, not yet, and you know it's now or never to tell your mom the truth.

"I…I joined Glee Club," you begin, timid. "It's singing and performing, like I used to do when I was little. Remember?"

Silence. You want to draw back, but resist. "Well, I do. I remember it being really fun and making me really happy. And I want to do it again."

Your mom taps her finger on the steering wheel, her eyes boring through the windshield as she measures out her next few words.

"Fine," she finally utters. "But if it gets in the way of your studies at all—"

"It won't," you vow.

"Okay," she says, and you know the conversation has ended. You hold back an exhale as you feel a deep-rooted tension begin to dissipate, enough to make room for a swirl of nerves and joy to reside in its place.

You won. You get to sing.

After last week's performances, Mr. Lee sent an email to everyone offering a small break before diving full-speed into rehearsing for the first show choir competition, also known as Sectionals. This of course meant there was no need for you and Seungkwan to spend lunches together, which made you more sad than you anticipated. You head down the cafeteria line, setting a plate of nachos and a side salad on your tray. As you go to grab a cookie, your hear your phone ding.

seungkwan: omg

seungkwan: guess who forgot we have nothing to practice 😂

Seungkwan follows it up with a selfie of him in the choir room wearing an "oh well" expression, rows of empty chairs behind him.

You smile to yourself as the kid behind you in line clears their throat for you to move along. "Sorry," you mumble, then grab a cookie and dash over to yours and Dahyun's usual spot.

You set your tray down at the lunch table, sitting down and wordlessly grabbing your phone to reply. "Hello to you too," Dahyun says with a mouthful of PB&J. "What's got you all giddy?"

"Nothing!" you say, attempting to be nonchalant. Your friend raises her brow at you, then looks down at your phone. "So this has nothing to do with that guy?" You see Seungkwan's selfie staring back at you from the screen, then immediately flip your phone over in embarrassment.

All you can conjure up is an ashamed, "No. Whatever. Shut up." Dahyun lets out a howl of laughter, then composes herself as you frown at your lunch.

"Hey." Dahyun softens at the shift in energy. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I will never judge you and I will always keep your secrets." She then slams her palm on the table. "Now tell me! Pleaseeeeee."

"I don't know," you groan. "I mean, I like spending time with him. But I also like spending time with you and I don't like you."

"Okay. Wow. Rude," Dahyun pulls back jokingly, pretending to be wounded. "I love you too."

"You know what I mean. I love you, obviously, but I don't like like you. And I can't tell if I like like him."

"Uh huh," she ponders. "Well, you guys would make a cute couple. The smartest, most beautiful girl in the whole entire world...with some guy who's good at volleyball. He would be very lucky to be with you." You blush, mostly at the loving praise and only partly at the thought of you and Seungkwan together.

"But seriously," Dahyun continues. "You have…kind of insane stage chemistry. We were talking about it after duets an—"

"Oh my god, you guys TALKED about us?!" you yell, wishing the ground would swallow you whole right then and there.

"Relax! We were talking about everyone," she reassures. "But mostly you two and how you'd definitely win us whatever we compete in."

At this, your brain goes a thousand miles a minute. Dahyun takes your silence as an opportunity to scarf down the rest of her sandwich. "That's crazy" is all you can verbalize. You turn your phone back around and decide to reply to Seungkwan.

you: 😭 well…at least i'll see you tomorrow

seungkwan: true 🥰

You lie to yourself and say the butterflies in your stomach are because you're looking forward to singing again—and not at all because you may or may not have a crush on Boo Seungkwan.

The lead-up to Sectionals in November are a blur. Even though Dahyun mentioned the buzz around your duet, you were still taken aback by Mr. Lee's suggestion for you and Seungkwan to be the club's two main vocalists and co-captains. You hesitated to accept, preemptively feeling the pressure to not let everyone down.

Seungkwan was ecstatic about the idea. "Should we do it?" he asked, and you could see him actively tampering down his excitement. "No pressure! What matters is that you feel happy and we're gonna sing anyways so it's fi—"

"Let's do it," you said, unwavering. With that, the team was set on curating a performance that reflected everyone's strengths. Chan became the team's assistant choreographer alongside Jihyo while Vernon agreed to help with choosing songs and working on arrangements for them. The most important job went to clever Dahyun to choose the team's name, which took her a total of three minutes to settle on.

And so, after weeks of practice, you and the Maplewood High Maestros find yourselves in Grand Ridge High's auditorium for Sectionals. You sit next to Mingyu, who isn't part of the club but has become the Maestros' unofficial team parent since he's able to drive and knows how to sew, an essential skill for fixing up everyone's stage outfits.

The auditorium goes wild as the competition host comes out onto the stage. Weatherman and car dealership spokesmodel Kim Seokjin is quite the local celebrity, known for his good looks and for often reporting the weather live from his fishing boat.

"Yes, yes, thank you," nods Seokjin. "What a privilege to be in the presence of a true icon this afternoon." The crowd cheers. "Oh, you're all much too kind! But I'm not talking about me—though I am indeed an icon. I mean the three amazing show choirs performing for us!" You hear Seungkwan gasp and let out a starstruck "wow" in response to Seokjin's compliment. You didn't realize he was such a fan.

Seokjin cracks a few more jokes to break the ice, then walks through the event program. Three schools are competing for a spot at Regionals: Grand Ridge, Diamond School for Boys, and of course, Maplewood. As the host school, Grand Ridge goes first and does not hold back with a relentlessly upbeat Taylor Swift medley. From where you sit, you're able to see the judges. They're out of place, a serious bunch dressed in all black and taking in the performance with pursed lips as they scratch notes onto legal pads.

As they wrap up and Seokjin comes back to introduce the Diamond School, Mr. Lee gestures to you all to follow him. You head backstage and watch the boys from the wings. Their set is full of energy, culminating with a rendition of Can't Hold Us by Macklemore. You take a peek at the audience having a blast. Even the judges are enjoying it, or at least their toned-down definition of enjoyment.

You start feeling the pressure as Mr. Lee gathers everyone in a circle. "So this is it. I'm sure you're all nervous right now," he says to a few nods. "But you've all prepared as much as possible, so what's there to worry about? This is your time to let go, to just have fun. Don't hold back!" You look around at the faces of your fellow members, all determined in their own way. Across, Seungkwan is already staring at you, a soft smile reaching his eyes as soon as you face him.

"Please give it up for the Maplewood High Maestros!" you hear Seokjin from the stage. Seungkwan puts his hand in the middle of the circle; the Maestros follows suit. "Maestros on three," he counts down, followed by everyone yelling "Maestrooooooos!" and raising their hands up.

You could feel your heart in your eardrums as you get into places on the risers. Chan takes his position at the front of the stage, while Dahyun stands next to him and pats his arm, making a funny face to distract from his nerves. The first few notes of Treasure by Bruno Mars start and the two lock in. You sway next to three other members and sing backing vocals. "Treasure" transitions into Breakeven by The Script. It's a larger group number, with Vernon opening then all of you chiming in seamlessly. Jihyo's powerful voice soars during the bridge.

The song ends, then there's a beat of silence as you and Seungkwan find your marks. The many spotlights diligently focused on each singer in the previous number dance around the auditorium to the beat of Beyoncé's XO. Two parallel beams of light settle on you and him standing on either end of the stage.

Looking out to the crowd, you sing. The beat picks up and the entire stage lights up as the Maestros glide around, the choreography evoking something you would see in a grand ballroom as the Maestros pair off then switch dance partners gracefully.

Once the second verse hits, you and Seungkwan turn and slowly walk toward one another as you continue singing. Meanwhile, the rest of the Glee Club stands on the risers for call and response:

In the darkest night hour (In the darkest night hour) / I search through the crowd (I search through the crowd) / Your face is all that I see, I've given you everything / Baby, love me lights out

Once you both arrive at the center, the Maestros sings in unison. In all that buildup, you hadn't noticed the crowd—the judges!—were clapping along. Then, a standing ovation. An electric feeling. Alive. Exactly what you were born to feel.

The Maestros stay onstage, huddled together as the other two groups join. "Let's give one more round of applause for our performers!" Seokjin tells the audience. One of the judges walks up to the stage and gives him an envelope with the results.

"In third place…Grand Ridge Rhapsodies!" There's a few disappointed gasps from the crowd, yet the students to your left are satisfied and fist bumping one another. You realize the Maestros might win this, and squeeze your eyes shut like you're anticipating some kind of jumpscare during a movie.

"Okay, moment of truth," Seokjin says dramatically. "Second place goes to…the Diamond School GAM3 BO1S! That means congratulations to our Sectionals champions, the Maplewood High Maestros!"

The moment plays out for you in slow motion: Mr. Lee receiving the trophy from Seokjin and presenting it to the students, Chan immediately plopping a big kiss on it, Dahyun and Jihyo grabbing either side of the trophy and raising it up in victory, Vernon holding it gingerly and examining it with awe. You feel yourself getting misty-eyed, and you try blinking your tears away only to see Seungkwan holding back his own.

"We did it," he pauses, incredulous. "We won."

Off the heels of your Sectionals win, the Maestros dive into Regionals planning during the next rehearsal. Mr. Lee is nowhere to be found in the choir room, which means every corner is overrun with someone coming up with choreography, strumming out song ideas, or making moodboards for new stage outfits. You sit next to Vernon, the two of you scrolling through the never-ending playlist on his laptop screen. Right as you point out a few songs as potential options, Mr. Lee walks into the room with a stack of pizza boxes and a bag of glass bottles.

The flurry of Regionals conversation becomes chatter over free lunch. Two of the younger club members scramble to Mr. Lee like hungry piranhas, immediately helping him with the pizzas. "Whoa whoa, let's all settle in real quick before we eat," he suggests. You all take your seats as Mr. Lee sets down the bag, then clasps his hands to his chest.

"Now I know we're all eager to keep our winning streak—"

"Yeah we are!" Dahyun interjects.

"However," Mr. Lee smiles. "Right now, it is very important to slow down." A pause. "You know, I was once in your shoes. Many years ago, likely when some of you were still in diapers, I was part of my own Glee Club. Sure, we had our challenges, but it was such a special time in my life. And I may not be able to go back. But I can glimpse into the past, seeing you all here, and tell you what I wish I knew then: look around, take it all in. All your accomplishments matter, even the seemingly small ones, as long as they matter to you."

"Wow, Mr. Lee," Seungkwan sniffles, a few tears welling in his eyes. "That was really cool." Vernon nudges him jokingly. The Maestros are all crying to some degree, himself included. He lightens the mood and asks: "Soooo…pizza?"

"And," Mr. Lee grabs a glass bottle and a bottle opener. "Apple cider." You hadn't noticed Jihyo materialize next to him as she grabs the opener from Mr. Lee. "Let's go, Maestros!" she yells as she pops open a bottle, some of the cider spilling on the floor as the room bursts with laughter.

In the final weeks of the semester, your weeknights are consumed with homework and final projects, and your weekends with study sessions and Key Club events you honestly forgot you signed up for. This leaves the Maestros on the backburner which means less time spent with Seungkwan, who is totally just your platonic friend you've concluded you do not have a crush on—no matter how much Dahyun and now Jihyo tease you about it.

You sit at your lunch table munching on apple slices when a familiar voice behind you asks: "Is this seat taken?" You turn around violently fast, and knock Seungkwan's plate of chili cheese fries onto him.

You stand up in a panic, fussing over his shirt. "Sorry! So sorry! I'm really sorry!"

Seungkwan frowns a bit, then takes in your worried face and his expression quickly softens. "It's okay," he murmurs.

"Oh no," Jihyo announces robotically, as if reading from a teleprompter. "We really should go get napkins. Like, right now!"

"Oh, no worries," Dahyun offers. "I got tons of napkins right h—" Jihyo elbows her, then signals at you and Seungkwan. You're still fussing over his shirt as he quietly reassures you not to worry.

"Ahhh. I mean," Dahyun gets the hint, then mimics Jihyo's stilted way of speaking earlier. "No! I don't! Guess we do have to get more napkins, Jihyo!" They both rush to get up from the table. "Allons-y!" Dahyun announces in French.

"Wait but—" you begin, then see them already halfway across the cafeteria. You grumble to yourself and know they're definitely not coming back with those napkins. You stare at Seungkwan, apologetic. "Have I said sorry yet?"

"Hmmm, maybe a few times," he responds. "You could make it up to me if you let me sit here?" It comes out more as a question from him, something Seungkwan does often so as to not seem too overbearing. Not that you mind ever, not even a little bit. He is your friend, after all. Yeah, you tell yourself. Just my friend.

Now that he's seated across from you, you can't stop glancing at the massive reddish-brown stain on his shirt, mortified. Seungkwan puts up a finger, asking you to wait as he opens his backpack. He takes out a volleyball hoodie, pulling it over himself. "Ta-da!" he proclaims, arms extended out. The hood part is bunched up over the lower half of his face, his round cheeks peeking out over it and smooshing into his eyes—you can tell he's beaming. Your heart stutters at the sight, and you consider if someone has ever died from cuteness aggression. To appease yourself, you reach to adjust the fabric so you can see his full face again. As you lean over, he makes a small shocked noise then freezes in place.

You nod, satisfied, then wordlessly place your chili cheese fries between you two and gesture to them. "Thank you," he says. You sit quietly, your hands bumping into one another as you share fries.

Seungkwan makes a contented sound at a bite. "Did you see they wrote an article about us?" You look at him, confused. "Us like…?" You point back and forth between you and him.

"Well yeah," he chuckles. "But the Maestros specifically. About our Sectionals performance."

"Is it bad? Good? I'm scared," you agonize.

Seungkwan turns his phone to you, opened to an article from the local paper titled "Maplewood High Maestros: The Show Choir Underdogs To Watch." At this, your eyes widen.

Seungkwan reads the article aloud. "No matter what changes, there is always one constant we can rely on. Not the sun rising with each day, nor the seasons changing. No, it's that show choir competitions at any level will be full of surprises."

The article notes the other two choirs' performances, then pivots to the Maestros. "But the biggest surprise this year were the rising stars from Maplewood High School. It is clear that each member of this group is a powerhouse in their own right, but this author cannot resist spotlighting the two vocalists leading their final song."

You can't believe you're hearing yours and Seungkwan's names next to such kind words. "With magnetic chemistry and vocals full of heart, seeing them perform together means being transported into another world. One that is brighter and saturated with a profound love for singing. There is no denying that these two are true superstars in the making."

You shake your head in disbelief. "They like us," you remark. "Seungkwan, they like us!"

With a warmth in his eyes, Seungkwan simply says: "I like us, too."

In that instant, every emotion arrives at the tip of your tongue. You want to tell Seungkwan the truth: that you also like you guys. That you like him. That singing in front of a crowd with him makes you feel invincible. That singing with him feels like home.

The bell rings. You both get up, thinking of the best way to say bye. You tuck everything you feel away for another time and instead say "Wanna eat lunch together tomorrow?" to a very enthused Seungkwan, who says yes without hesitation.

"This cannot be happening."

You starfish onto your bed in defeat, holding the phone to your ear. Dahyun's on the other line, filtering through every possible solution.

"Okay… I was reading an article the other day and they're really close to figuring out cloning, so maybe w—"

"Dahyun."

"Fine fine, next idea. Have you ever watched The Parent Trap?"

You let out a groan. You are so screwed. Your college admissions test is scheduled on the same day, in the same school (!) as Regionals. They don't entirely overlap; there is some hope you could make it on time to both, but there are no guarantees.

"I think…" you start. "We're just gonna have to play it by ear."

"You want to leave performing at Regionals up to CHANCE?!" Dahyun shrieks so loud, you have to yank your phone away from your ear.

"I don't know what else to do," you whine. "I can't miss this testing date for early admission and scholarships and stuff."

Dahyun growls. "Stupid standardized testing!"

A few days later, Chan approaches you. He got word of your predicament and offers to have his mom drop you both off, which puzzles you. "You do know that the test starts like three hours before the auditorium even opens, right?"

"I know!" Chan nods. "But I also know your parents are um…well, they're…"

"Insane about me getting into an Ivy League and would probably pop a few blood vessels if they found out a show choir competition overlapped with a test?" you say without missing a beat.

Chan shrugs. "I mean you said it, not me. But yes, that is no problem!" He salutes you as you give him a squeeze hug, which leads to a string of dramatic objections from him. You're grateful to have one less thing to worry about.

The day arrives. Your usual testing anxiety is minor, relative to making it to Regionals on time. You walk into the exam room with your stage outfit folded in your backpack, plus a granola bar from Chan's mom. The plan is to change into your outfit during your brief test break, then you'll sprint to the auditorium across campus as soon as you finish the last section.

The first half of the test goes well—you've been studying for it nearly every weekend since freshman year, so of course it does. Once the proctor calls for a break, you grab your backpack and head to the restroom.

"Miss, you cannot remove personal items from the testing area," the proctor calls out harshly. She's an older woman with bright red-orange hair and a dress with bunnies printed all over it.

"I have to change really qu—" "Leave your bag at your desk."

Frustrated, you leave the bag and grab your phone, making a big show to the proctor that you are otherwise empty-handed walking out of the room.

Outside, you decide to dial Seungkwan, who picks up after two rings.

"Hey," he says. You can hear the smile on his face.

"Hi. How's it going?"

"Well, we're once again last but not least in the lineup," he assures. You sigh in relief.

"Don't worry, focus on your test," Seungkwan tells you. "Though we've all placed bets on what score you'll get, so no pressure."

"Oh really?" you ask "And what was your bet?"

"A perfect score, of course."

Dahyun was right: stupid standardized testing. Your heart does a silly little leap and you wish you could just run to Seungkwan and—

Your train of thought gets cut off by the exam proctor ordering everyone to go back inside.

"Shoot, I gotta go. But I'll see you soon!"

"Okayyyy," Seungkwan responds in a sing-songy voice. "Break a leg," he says then hangs up.

Reinvigorated by your exchange with Seungkwan, you take on the second half of the test in stride. You're zeroed in on an extra complex math question when you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. Then it buzzes again. And again. And again and again.

You fight the urge to take a peek as you glance up at the proctor. She's wearing headphones and is engrossed with her iPad. You figure it's okay to check your phone, and see a bunch of missed calls from every member of the Maestros plus a text from Dahyun that says "SOS!! we got moved up!!!" Panic sets in as you tuck your phone away. You weigh your options: either you finish this last section and risk missing Regionals, or you walk out and your test results are disqualified.

All that comes to mind is being in the choir room after winning Sectionals, taking in the moment like Mr. Lee advised. How it dawned on you right then and there with your friends that you've found a place, one that the characters in the books you've read wish for and search for: a place to belong.

So before you realize what you're doing, you grab your things. You walk to the front of the room and drop your scantron next to the proctor's iPad. She glances up to you expressionless and shoos you away. The grin you flash at her leaves her confused, but you don't take any more time to see the rest of her reaction. You barge into a restroom down the hall and quickly change into your stage outfit, struggling to get your performance shoes on. You let out a wail, exasperated, then decide to slip your sneakers back on. You have to run anyways.

You muster up your best sprint across the massive high school campus, following signs to the auditorium. As you approach, you can hear the first few notes of Love Somebody by Maroon 5. It's the Maestros' opening song with Vernon leading along with a few other students, which means you have less than four minutes before you come in for song number two.

Mr. Lee scans the small crowd near the auditorium entrance, nervously biting the inside of his cheek. As soon as he spots you, he waves you over frantically.

"You made it!" he shouts, ushering you inside and toward a door backstage. You approach the Maestros, who are all an echo of Mr. Lee's nervous stance from earlier. But much like him, they grow elated at the sight of you. Seungkwan looks you up and down, almost as if he can't believe you're there. He then lets out a horrified gasp and points at your feet.

You freak out at the sight of your sneakers, scrambling to put on your performance shoes. Dahyun and Jihyo assist during the last half of Love Somebody, and your teamwork pays off. You start heading onto the stage, ready for your mark, only to cower at the size of the audience. It's two, maybe three times the size of the one at Sectionals. Fearfully, you turn back around, but Seungkwan tries to steer you back to the stage.

"Is everything okay?" his eyes widen in worry as he inspects your face.

"The crowd…it's huge. I can't do this."

"Yes you can. You can do anything," Seungkwan says. "I'm gonna puke out there," you blurt out.

Seungkwan laughs fondly. "You'll be fine. You're the most amazing singer I know," he admits.

Before you continue protesting, Seungkwan closes the few inches between you and places a kiss on your cheek.

"Please don't puke" is the last thing Seungkwan tells you before nudging you back onstage and right on cue, Whitney Houston's How Will I Know begins.

Seungkwan kissed you. On the cheek. It's like you can actively feel every neuron in your body freaking out, and whatever you were worried about before pales in comparison.

Jihyo kicks off the song, singing to you and Dahyun as if confessing the lyrics to you both. You look over to Seungkwan, who is beaming and flushed red—you figure you probably are, too. You sing the second verse:

Oh, wake me, I'm shaking / Wish I had you near me now, uh-huh / Said there's no mistakin' / What I feel is really love / Ooh, tell me

You catch yourself unable to stop smiling, leaning into the playful choreography and joyously dancing with your friends. The energy only builds at the final song, Ain't It Fun by Paramore. Every member of the Maestros walks out on the stage then scatters into the audience during the last half of the song. The entire crowd stands, clapping along and loving the powerful adlibs coming from you and Seungkwan. They sing along with tons of energy:

Don't go cryin' to your mama / 'Cause you're on your own in the real world / Don't go cryin' to your mama / 'Cause you're on your own in the real world

You're having so much fun, you forget that a group has to win. And when that group ends up being the Maestros, you can't imagine how things could get any better.

None of the Maestros thought you would make it this far. Yet here you are, about two months away from going to New York City for Nationals. Of course, it's quite an expensive trip, and Mr. Lee has the terrible job of delivering bad news: Maplewood is unfortunately not able to cover all of the expenses. Apparently, whatever funding they had left went to remodeling the football field (which you recall getting work done your freshman year, but that's neither here nor there).

In the choir room, Dahyun scribbles numbers into her notebook, hopeful. She mumbles to herself, moving her fingers mid-air like she's tapping an invisible calculator.

She jolts out of her seat triumphantly. "Okay! After crunching the numbers, the Maestros only have to pay…" You can see the wheels in Dahyun's mind spinning only so she deflates back into her chair. "Sooooo…we definitely need to fundraise," she states.

Everyone collectively groans, worried about coming up with enough money to make it to New York. To maybe even win. You spend the rest of the meeting brainstorming ideas. Someone throws out a talent show idea, another student brings up singing telegrams, Mr. Lee calls Breadstix for a possible restaurant fundraiser to no avail.

Like clockwork, Mingyu walks in to wait for Seungkwan and Jihyo to carpool, though this time he comes bearing a large box. "I brought gifts!" he exclaims, presenting the contents to Mr. Lee. The teacher gladly grabs a saran-wrapped muffin. You grab one as well, unwrapping it and taking a bite.

You stare at Mingyu in shock. "These are so good! Where did you get them?!" Mingyu gives a shy grin, his canines peeking out and says, "I made them."

Behind you, Chan whips his head in disbelief. "You WHAT?!" he exclaims as crumbs fly from his mouth and all over his clothes. "Aw crap," Chan looks down with remorse, swatting the crumbs off. Seungkwan fusses over the mess, procuring some napkins from his bag to help clean up.

A light bulb goes off. "Bake sale! Let's do a bake sale!" you shout. There's sounds of agreement throughout the room, though you're unsure if it's in regards to your idea or the muffins. By the end of the meeting, the date for the bake sale is set and each member signs up to bring something.

A few weeks later, the night before the fundraiser, you and Dahyun are in your kitchen with an array of bowls strewn all over the countertops. It took some persuading since it's a weeknight, but your mom conceded to pick you both up from Glee Club to bake together. You've just finished frosting a dozen more cupcakes when you see Dahyun's dad's car pull up. You walk her out and she gives you a big hug, promising to call you later.

As you close the front door, you turn around and are greeted by your parents, arms crossed. Your dad holds an opened envelope, and your blood runs cold as you see the testing board's logo stamped on the front.

"We need to talk."

"Damn," Vernon says, slightly taken aback at the giant platter Seungkwan sets down on the lunch table. "Sure you made enough?"

Seungkwan glares and Vernon catches the subtle eyebags on his face—immediately, he knows he should not have said anything. "I stayed up till about 3 a.m. making these. I do not have the time for this today, all right?"

Vernon puts his hands up in surrender. "My bad, bro. For what it's worth, they turned out great."

Dahyun approaches with a plastic container. "Hey!" she exclaims. Seungkwan waves, then cranes his neck to see if anyone's trailing behind her. "Where i—" he starts.

"She's not here today," Dahyun offers with a pout. She knows Seungkwan is waiting for you. She excuses herself to grab more cupcakes from her locker.

"Hm," Vernon nods to himself.

Seungkwan looks to him, curious. "What?"

Vernon pauses to consider his next words. "You…you really like her, don't you?"

Seungkwan attempts to stammer out an excuse; to this, Vernon raises his brow.

"It's okay," Vernon reassures. "You don't have to answer that. Maybe you should talk to her, though."

The air falls silent between them, with Seungkwan deep in thought and Vernon pivoting his focus to organizing the table.

From his jacket pocket, Seungkwan pulls out a card with Winnie the Pooh and the phrase "You make me beary happy" illustrated on it, your name scribbled underneath in his handwriting. He admires the pastries he made: carefully sliced, topped with powdered sugar, filled with a generous layer of custard and radiant red fruit slices that almost seem too perfect to be real.

Strawberry croissants. Your favorite.

You hear from Dahyun that the bake sale went well. In fact, the Maestros are planning another one along with a car wash fundraiser. Everyone's hopeful the two events will help meet your goal for Nationals and then some. But you can't bring yourself to be happy about this news as you fight to hold back your own.

The evening after Dahyun leaves your house, things take a turn. Your parents sit you down, exam results in hand and you brace yourself for the lecture of a lifetime followed by a whole lot of crying in your room. The usual. Instead, your parents hold up your voided score and demand that you tell them what happened. You're honest. You recount the circumstances regarding Regionals, how you left the exam early to make it on time for the Maestros' performance.

Once you say your piece, your parents present you with a brochure with the entrance of a school campus on the cover, trees upon trees behind the large front gates. Spring Gardens Advanced Academy, it reads.

Your parents then inform you that you will finish up your junior year at Maplewood, then over the summer, you will all move about six hours away so you can attend Spring Gardens for your senior year. They assure this is the only way to guarantee you the best future possible. A decision made from love, they say.

You manage to push down the nausea building in your throat. All you can muster out is a plea: you will transfer schools so long as you can see Nationals through. You do not have it in you to disappoint more people. You are seventeen years old and that is your biggest fear. More than walking away from something that must be love.

"Central Park: check," you say. "Times Square: check. New York style pizza—"

Jihyo raises a slice triumphantly from her spot on the hotel room floor. "Check!" Next to her, Dahyun moves her own slice to toast with Jihyo's in celebration.

"And…we saw a New York City rat!" Dahyun notes.

"That wasn't on our original list…also, it was gross," you observe. Jihyo shudders at the thought.

"Part of the authentic experience!" You nod and oblige to Dahyun, adding it to your Notes app entry recapping your NYC adventures. You arrived to the city yesterday, so today was jam-packed with sightseeing before Nationals tomorrow. The three of you decided to return to your room a few hours before curfew to rest up.

As you share the photos you took around the city, you hear a knock at your door. Dahyun and Jihyo make no move to answer it, eyeing each other suspiciously. "Okay fine, guess I'll get it," you say, sassy.

You don't expect to be greeted by Seungkwan, dressed in his coat and holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Um. Hi. What's up?" you ask.

"Hi," Seungkwan says, then holds the bouquet out to you. "These are for you."

You feel like your cheeks might pop from the huge smile that overtakes you as you grab the bouquet and bring it up to your nose. "It's perfect. Thank you. But why? How come you're giving this to me?"

"Well…I am here to ask if you would like to go out with me," Seungkwan declares. You briefly consider closing the door to let out a scream, though you feel that slamming the door on Seungkwan's face might give him the wrong idea. Instead, you settle for stammering out a response. "I—wait, really?" You peek out further out into the hall. "But we can't go anywhere. It's after curfew."

Seungkwan nods. "We'll be fine, trust me." Slowly, you turn your attention to your two friends, who are absolutely riveted with the scene taking place. Jihyo makes a gesture in Seungkwan's direction encouraging you to say yes while Dahyun gives you two thumbs up.

"Don't worry, we can cover for you with Mr. Lee and the chaperones! Now gooooo!" Jihyo orders.

Back to Seungkwan, his eyes big and sparkly, you can't help but feel fondness woven with dread. You remember how fleeting this all is, how no one knows you have to leave at the end of the school year. You're torn. This all feels like too much. Your mind starts rushing an—

"Hey," Seungkwan whispers. "You don't have to say yes, not now. I mean, I do want to go out with you. Maybe New York is not your thing? Though I do think you'd have a really good time where we're going, but that's not to stress you out or anyth—"

"Yes. I'd love to go out with you tonight," you interject. You know you'd be silly to pass this up.

Seungkwan hops in place excitedly and asks to meet downstairs in 15 minutes. Once again, Dahyun and Jihyo pull through and help you put on some quick makeup and figure out an outfit. The finishing touch is one of the flowers Seungkwan gifted you placed behind your ear.

Once you're downstairs, you and Seungkwan decide to make a run for it toward the subway. It hits you that you have no clue where you're going. On the platform, you ask Seungkwan and all you get is him pretending to zip his lips shut.

You grab his left shoulder with both hands and jostle him a bit. "Tell me! Pleaseeeee."

Seungkwan nods. "Nope. This will be much better as a surprise. I promise."

You pretend to be annoyed, rolling your eyes dramatically and shifting away from him. The train arrives and the two of you board. You manage to give him the cold shoulder for about 15 seconds before you can't anymore. If it weren't for Seungkwan's phone loudly alerting you of your stop, you would have absolutely missed it due to being so deep in conversation. You walk up to the street, and after a few minutes, turn a corner. Immediately, you freeze as you're greeted with bright lights framing an array of marquees holding posters for various musicals.

"Wow" is all you can bring yourself to say. Seungkwan quickly leads you to a theater announcing Waitress.

You plant yourself firmly on the ground in denial. "No. You're joking."

Seungkwan groans. "Yes actually, I brought you all this way as a joke," he says sarcastically.

"I knew it," you sigh and hang your head in mock defeat. "You got me." Amused, Seungkwan drags you into the theater lobby. You take in the gold trim everywhere, the plush carpet beneath your feet. You squeal after getting a playbill. "I'm framing this," you tell Seungkwan. "I expect nothing less," he says.

Your seats are good. A bit too good. "Seungkwan…how did you even get these tickets?"

"Remember earlier after breakfast, when I said I had to go back to the hotel because I forgot my phone?"

You do remember. Seungkwan made a big scene out of it, though you figured it was simply normal Seungkwan behavior. You did pause when Mingyu—who managed to tag along on the trip with the made-up title of Executive Assistant to the Maestros—insisted on accompanying him, as if grabbing a phone was a two-person job. However, you were too preoccupied being a tourist to give it much thought.

"We may have stopped on the way to the hotel to come here for the ticket lottery," Seungkwan looks around the theater in awe. "I guess it worked out."

"You did that for me?" you ask.

"Yeah," he says with ease. "I know you really like Waitress and I wanted to surprise you."

Your tears threaten to escape from how touched you are at Seungkwan's actions; thankfully, the house lights dim and the show begins. From the first song, you mouth along to every single word. Even with your disbelief that someone would do this for you, would bring you here, you let yourself get carried away.

The two leads, Jenna and Dr. Pomatter, sing You Matter to Me in act two:

I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes / They've seen things you never quite say, but I hear

You don't notice how all this time, Seungkwan has been watching you more than the stage.

Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you / And I'll stay there as long as you'll let me

And when Seungkwan notices how visibly moved you are by the song, he can't help but want to see what you're seeing. He finally looks to the stage for the second verse.

It's addictive the minute you let yourself think / The things that I say just might matter to someone

You get so swept up in the song and can't help but reach for Seungkwan's hand to anchor you.

All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away / And for the first time, I think I'd consider the stay

You're startled at your own movement. You begin to pull away and apologize.

Because you matter to me / Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody

Before you can do that, Seungkwan grabs your hand.

You matter to me / I promise you do, you, you matter too

He interlocks his fingers with yours—

I promise you do, you'll see

—gentle, certain.

You matter to me

"May I…" Mr. Lee gestures to the shuttle's PA system. The driver nods, delighted, and passes it over.

There's a bit of feedback, which has everyone covering their ears. Chan yelps and screams "WHAT DID YOU SAY?! I can't hear you!" when Vernon says something to him, which makes him wheeze with laughter.

"Maestros!" Mr. Lee says into the microphone. "Are we ready for Nationals?!"

A chorus of enthusiasm responds, and a group of freshmen at the back of the shuttle start chanting "Maestros! Maestros!" as you all join in, including the bus driver.

You walk into the green room area of the Lincoln Center buzzing with anticipation. It's laid out more like a living room, with a whole set of couches in the middle surrounded by vanities and mirrors. As you set your things down at one of the stations, you hear your name coming from Mr. Lee with Seungkwan standing next to him. Mr. Lee makes a motion to follow him.

Once outside, you and Seungkwan eye each other, concerned. You wonder if you were in trouble, if Mr. Lee saw the two of you sneaking out the night before. You see Seungkwan start to open his mouth so you grab his hand, which brings a blush to his cheeks and stops any words from spilling out. Mr. Lee notices your embrace, a small smile forming on his face as he quickly casts his gaze back to your faces.

"Oh captains, my captains," he begins. "I was so nervous going into this year and taking the leap to start a Glee Club, how it would come about. Whether people would think it's as great as I remember it being back when I was in high school. And to my surprise, it ended up being even better."

Oh no, you think. I can't do this.

Mr. Lee continues. "Yes, I am your teacher, but know that you guys have taught me so much. You two have made my job all the more fulfilling, all the more joyful. No matter what happens out there, I am so proud of how far you two have come. And there is always next year to have even more fun."

You shut your eyes tight and shake your head. Knowing there is no next year for you, it all feels like a nightmare.

"Mr. Lee, thank you so much. You're seriously the best teacher ever," Seungkwan says, his voice emotional. "Let's go out and win this!"

After, you take a seat on a leather armchair and let yourself be surrounded by your friends, at the people who have made your junior year the best year of your life. The thought of not performing with them anymore makes your chest tighten. You force yourself to take deep breaths to calm down. The members start getting ready, and you manage to push down your emotions in favor of the important task.

On the way to the stage, you pass by a few students from competing Glee Clubs near a stairwell. Some wear lime green cocktail dresses and others have on aquamarine ties and cummerbunds. In comparison, the Maestros' outfits lean more subdued: burgundy dresses with black details for the girls, burgundy button downs and black dress pants for the guys.

As you arrive in the wings, there is already a group performing. The Gods of Music sing One Direction's Story of My Life with upwards of fifty students on stage, a behemoth compared to the Maestros' humble twenty. Their dance moves are stunning yet do not detract from the otherworldly vocals that resonate throughout the venue. You can't help but be amazed. Nothing will ever compare to the feeling of performing in a group.

The Gods of Music leave the stage and the competition host, Mercedes Jones, introduces the Maestros. You can hardly see the crowd through the spotlight, and it almost feels like you're back at rehearsal in the Maplewood auditorium. Locating yourself back there lets you breathe easier, and you stand tall as Chan kicks off Counting Stars by OneRepublic. The choreography he put together makes an impact—the twenty of you stomp around and command the stage enough to make it feel full. Jihyo and Dahyun tag-team Santana & Michelle Branch's The Game of Love, which gets the crowd swaying along.

When the Maestros were deciding the setlist this time around, Vernon threw out the idea of doing something different, unexpected. Where Regionals was the life of the party, Nationals could be the heartfelt conversation you have as the party winds down. He suggested Stay by Rihanna & Mikky Ekko—it was deemed the best song to end on, with you and Seungkwan leading. No choreography, just you two facing each other. Earnest, vulnerable. You start the song off:

All along, it was a fever / A cold sweat, hot-headed believer / I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me somethin'" / He said, "If you dare, come a little closer"

You can feel yourself falter as Seungkwan sings the chorus to you, impassioned:

Not really sure how to feel about it / Something in the way you move / Makes me feel like I can't live without you / It takes me all the way / And I want you to stay

By the time you arrive at the bridge, you fail to keep your voice steady and cast your eyes to the back of the stage so the audience does not catch on to your crying. You try to push through, but you can't. Next thing you know, you run off the stage. You can faintly hear Seungkwan calling your name and the music stop as you make your way to the green room, shutting the door behind you.

You pace around the room silently, mind racing. You are seventeen years old and all you want is for someone to look at you—to really look at you, all of you—without having to ask or demand it. All you want is to be open and free, to be held with care. To be loved not for what you do, but simply for who you are.

A foreign feeling arises, though you know well that it's one you try to avoid at all costs. Anger, you note. You hold anger for the circumstances, that you are getting taken away from this; anger for yourself because you don't have it in you quite yet to take a stand for what you want; anger for an empty life that was predetermined for you, one where you would rather disappoint yourself than to disappoint your parents.

The door opens, and Seungkwan steps into the room. "Hey," he says, his voice full of worry.

You are seventeen years old, and you have not sat with anger enough to know how unwieldy and damaging it can be.

"Go away," you hiss.

"What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk to you. It's not your business," you snap.

"I just—"

"What? You're here to get mad at me? I mean, I ran off the stage. We lost. It's over."

"No no, it's okay," Seungkwan reassures. "There's always next year."

"Next year? Senior year?" you laugh once, hollow. "All of this singing and dancing was cute for now, but I have other more important things to focus on."

Seungkwan freezes in place, his brow furrowed in confusion. He's caught off guard, wounded by your words.

You keep pacing around the room. "None of this ever mattered to me. I don't care about any of it." You say this with such vitriol, more to yourself and less to Seungkwan. Still, it stings him. He's unsure of what to say, so he goes to place a hand on your shoulder to try and comfort you.

You take a step back, away from him. "Get out! Leave me alone!" you yell, and Seungkwan recoils into himself.

There's a long pause. You wish you could take it all back, but you know it's too late. You figure maybe leaving will be easier this way—to rip your own heart out, to leave it here rather than carry it with you into whatever comes next.

You look into Seungkwan's eyes, not realizing it's the last time you would.

"Fine" is all Seungkwan says before he walks away and shuts the door. You fall onto one of the couches and let the world crumble around you.

Once you come back from New York, you skip Glee Club for the rest of the school year. You busy yourself in the library during lunch, avoiding what's become the Maestros' table in the cafeteria. The only chance anyone has to talk to you is during a class you share, though you make it a point to engage in minimal conversation.

Junior year soon ends and Seungkwan hears from other members the news of you transferring. Following your exchange at Nationals, he had accepted that you weren't on speaking terms. But with this development, Seungkwan tries drafting up a message to patch things up before you leave.

He thinks back to that day, and how you've subsequently passed him by in the hallway between classes. It was as if he was invisible to you. You hadn't even texted him to say you quit. Instead, Mr. Lee had to let him know that his own co-captain was out. Through all this, your words keep ringing in his head, that you never cared and that being in the Maestros never mattered. That maybe whatever the two of you were—whatever you could have been, he thinks to himself—never mattered either.

After a few times typing and backspacing a text to you, he gives up and decides not to say anything. Summer goes on and bleeds into fall, where Seungkwan passes his captain role over to someone else so he can focus on leading the varsity volleyball team instead. Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, you enroll into your new school and excel in all your classes. You manage to make new friends as communication with almost everyone at Maplewood wanes. Eventually, you each go to college, graduate, explore your place in the world.

And all these years later, with your first job and your own place in a new city, there are still some nights where the joy you felt with the Maestros visits you like a ghost.

And the silence between you and Seungkwan, it sings to you. A song left unfinished.

note from the author: aaaaaaand cut! that's a wrap on part one of loser like me. stay tuned for part two—coming soon! in the meantime, i'm open to any and all thoughts, feedback, complaints, whatever's on your mind. oh and of course, thank you for reading!