@chompedbonez - Tumblr Blog

@the-johnny-cakes @chompedbonez

Saw this and thought it might make y’all laugh

ehehehehe * ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ◍)

You ever had Hazel do that to ya? What’s the word—false alarm? False positive? No, that ain’t it. Whatever the word is

YES. she did it in the middle of the night. over precautionary pup.

Any idea what made her react?

uh, i think something tipped ova’. might have been a glass of water. but of course it had to be anythin’ but a glass of wata’ to miss yapper of vengeance.

(laughs) That should be her official title: Miss Yapper of Vengeance Hazelnut Winston. Get it engraved on her collar or somethin’

gonna need a huge collar to engrave all of that on the inside of it. could write it real tiny and circular on the pendent. ‘ if lost, return to mista’ vengeance. ’

Ooh yeah! That could work! My handwriting might be small enough to manage it (He was half-joking before but now he’s getting carried away)

man i wouldn’t get you to do all’dat for a collar. besides, she ain’t vengeful anymore. on an evil, ridiculous level anyway.

@the-johnny-cakes @chompedbonez

Saw this and thought it might make y’all laugh

ehehehehe * ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ◍)

You ever had Hazel do that to ya? What’s the word—false alarm? False positive? No, that ain’t it. Whatever the word is

YES. she did it in the middle of the night. over precautionary pup.

Any idea what made her react?

uh, i think something tipped ova’. might have been a glass of water. but of course it had to be anythin’ but a glass of wata’ to miss yapper of vengeance.

(laughs) That should be her official title: Miss Yapper of Vengeance Hazelnut Winston. Get it engraved on her collar or somethin’

gonna need a huge collar to engrave all of that on the inside of it. could write it real tiny and circular on the pendent. ‘ if lost, return to mista’ vengeance. ’

@the-johnny-cakes @chompedbonez

Saw this and thought it might make y’all laugh

ehehehehe * ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ◍)

You ever had Hazel do that to ya? What’s the word—false alarm? False positive? No, that ain’t it. Whatever the word is

YES. she did it in the middle of the night. over precautionary pup.

Any idea what made her react?

uh, i think something tipped ova’. might have been a glass of water. but of course it had to be anythin’ but a glass of wata’ to miss yapper of vengeance.

exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear

i love when large dogs are picked up and they’re so absolutely confused as to how this could happen that they just sorta

exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear

I found another

@chompedbonez this is ‘bouta be hazel as she gets bigger

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

…okay, so she reacted different. what does that mean? was one of those her ignorin’ what ya said?

if she was ignorin’ the statement, she wouldn’t react period n’ stay neutral. what this * does tell us is that “ vet ” itself in english is taken as a negative. — i’ll do more detective work about it later.

huh, alright. 's cool how ya know so much about the way she's thinkin'. y'all can have real conversations

well, a lot of the emotion is squished onto that lil’ face; plain as day. — a few of those conversations get real long.

probably plainer to you than most people but yeah, get what ya mean. course they do with you two (laughs)

signin’ her up for the debate team asap.

she’d be great at that

probably won’t eva’ win, but will never lose either. or those conditional winnings when the other person gives up. * ( <\3 )

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

…okay, so she reacted different. what does that mean? was one of those her ignorin’ what ya said?

if she was ignorin’ the statement, she wouldn’t react period n’ stay neutral. what this * does tell us is that “ vet ” itself in english is taken as a negative. — i’ll do more detective work about it later.

huh, alright. 's cool how ya know so much about the way she's thinkin'. y'all can have real conversations

well, a lot of the emotion is squished onto that lil’ face; plain as day. — a few of those conversations get real long.

probably plainer to you than most people but yeah, get what ya mean. course they do with you two (laughs)

signin’ her up for the debate team asap.

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

…okay, so she reacted different. what does that mean? was one of those her ignorin’ what ya said?

if she was ignorin’ the statement, she wouldn’t react period n’ stay neutral. what this * does tell us is that “ vet ” itself in english is taken as a negative. — i’ll do more detective work about it later.

huh, alright. 's cool how ya know so much about the way she's thinkin'. y'all can have real conversations

well, a lot of the emotion is squished onto that lil’ face; plain as day. — a few of those conversations get real long.

@the-johnny-cakes @chompedbonez

Saw this and thought it might make y’all laugh

ehehehehe * ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ◍)

You ever had Hazel do that to ya? What’s the word—false alarm? False positive? No, that ain’t it. Whatever the word is

YES. she did it in the middle of the night. over precautionary pup.

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

…okay, so she reacted different. what does that mean? was one of those her ignorin’ what ya said?

if she was ignorin’ the statement, she wouldn’t react period n’ stay neutral. what this * does tell us is that “ vet ” itself in english is taken as a negative. — i’ll do more detective work about it later.

@the-johnny-cakes @chompedbonez

Saw this and thought it might make y’all laugh

#cutie dog tryin’ its’ best.

ehehehehe * ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ◍)

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

yeah, glad you’re excited ‘bout it

why wouldn’t i be?

gotta agree ’s pretty excitin’

yes yes!! let the babies touch noses or somethin’. hopefully this time, she won’t get licked away when meetin’ another.

well hazel ain’t so tiny anymore so that’s harder to do. should be alright

harder yeah, but not impossible. she’s only half of a half. maybe they’ll share squeaky toys! or dark secrets.

sure, yeah. ain’t like she’s fittin’ in your coat pocket anymore though. toys sounds ‘bout right. hope they don’t have any dark secrets

she’s tried. her head fits. n’ why not? think we all have at least one secret that hasn’t hit the public eye yet. maybe they buried somethin’ massive.

aw poor hazel don’t realize how much she’s grown. dark secrets made it sound bad, y’know? guess they could have that kind of, like, regular secrets

dark secret also doesn’t always mean bad secret. could be a really personal or deep one too. s’all perspective. ( sigh. ) i’mma still carry her when wanted! it’s a good workout to lift and lower baby.

that’s fair. just the first way i thought of it. and i know you’re gonna be pickin’ her up even when she’s full grown

see that’ll be me carrying a couch all the time— ( looking behind him. hazel’s laying against his leg and staring back. ) well. actually, at this rate, that might be a really long while.

i dunno, seems like she’s growin’ real fast. guess i don’t see her everyday like ya do so ’s more noticeable

( lifting her up. the service vest adds more, but she’s definitely gotten bigger than her baby self. tail wagging. ) got the same marbles rollin’ around in there.

aww, course she does. she’s real smart, ain’t ya hazel?

( hazelnut barks as an answer, one paw lifted upwards and pressing against dal’s cheek. ) so smart that she knows it’s time fer’ the “ blue ice ” bottle.

real impressive that ya taught her everythin' by yourself

( she’s glaring; he nods and heads to the couch. a bottle is pulled from the bag, top pushed off with his thumb. ) maybe not everythin’. her momma and her pops gave her a few life lessons.

well yeah, course. more meant her bein' a service dog and all

that was a trip. an’ it even made her a bilingual dog. however, she suddenly and suspiciously loses understandin’ of the word vet. ( taking the meds and poking at her snout. )

prolly does that on purpose (laughs)

it’s totally on purpose! but no memory lapses can stop the vet visit.

unfortunately for hazel

she gets along fine with the vet; well behaved durin’ check-ups. can have a lil’ treat. maybe it’s the word itself?

dunno why it’d be the word - doesn’t make much sense

it also doesn’t hurt to test it, because i can always use a different word fer’ this.

but if she's doin' it on purpose wouldn't it be the same even with a different word?

let’s find out. — we are goin’ to the vet. ( hazelnut’s ears start to droop. ) ..vamos ao veterinário. ( her ears perk back up, smile squishing her face. )

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

yeah, glad you’re excited ‘bout it

why wouldn’t i be?

gotta agree ’s pretty excitin’

yes yes!! let the babies touch noses or somethin’. hopefully this time, she won’t get licked away when meetin’ another.

well hazel ain’t so tiny anymore so that’s harder to do. should be alright

harder yeah, but not impossible. she’s only half of a half. maybe they’ll share squeaky toys! or dark secrets.

sure, yeah. ain’t like she’s fittin’ in your coat pocket anymore though. toys sounds ‘bout right. hope they don’t have any dark secrets

she’s tried. her head fits. n’ why not? think we all have at least one secret that hasn’t hit the public eye yet. maybe they buried somethin’ massive.

aw poor hazel don’t realize how much she’s grown. dark secrets made it sound bad, y’know? guess they could have that kind of, like, regular secrets

dark secret also doesn’t always mean bad secret. could be a really personal or deep one too. s’all perspective. ( sigh. ) i’mma still carry her when wanted! it’s a good workout to lift and lower baby.

that’s fair. just the first way i thought of it. and i know you’re gonna be pickin’ her up even when she’s full grown

see that’ll be me carrying a couch all the time— ( looking behind him. hazel’s laying against his leg and staring back. ) well. actually, at this rate, that might be a really long while.

i dunno, seems like she’s growin’ real fast. guess i don’t see her everyday like ya do so ’s more noticeable

( lifting her up. the service vest adds more, but she’s definitely gotten bigger than her baby self. tail wagging. ) got the same marbles rollin’ around in there.

aww, course she does. she’s real smart, ain’t ya hazel?

( hazelnut barks as an answer, one paw lifted upwards and pressing against dal’s cheek. ) so smart that she knows it’s time fer’ the “ blue ice ” bottle.

real impressive that ya taught her everythin' by yourself

( she’s glaring; he nods and heads to the couch. a bottle is pulled from the bag, top pushed off with his thumb. ) maybe not everythin’. her momma and her pops gave her a few life lessons.

well yeah, course. more meant her bein' a service dog and all

that was a trip. an’ it even made her a bilingual dog. however, she suddenly and suspiciously loses understandin’ of the word vet. ( taking the meds and poking at her snout. )

prolly does that on purpose (laughs)

it’s totally on purpose! but no memory lapses can stop the vet visit.

unfortunately for hazel

she gets along fine with the vet; well behaved durin’ check-ups. can have a lil’ treat. maybe it’s the word itself?

dunno why it’d be the word - doesn’t make much sense

it also doesn’t hurt to test it, because i can always use a different word fer’ this.

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

yeah, glad you’re excited ‘bout it

why wouldn’t i be?

gotta agree ’s pretty excitin’

yes yes!! let the babies touch noses or somethin’. hopefully this time, she won’t get licked away when meetin’ another.

well hazel ain’t so tiny anymore so that’s harder to do. should be alright

harder yeah, but not impossible. she’s only half of a half. maybe they’ll share squeaky toys! or dark secrets.

sure, yeah. ain’t like she’s fittin’ in your coat pocket anymore though. toys sounds ‘bout right. hope they don’t have any dark secrets

she’s tried. her head fits. n’ why not? think we all have at least one secret that hasn’t hit the public eye yet. maybe they buried somethin’ massive.

aw poor hazel don’t realize how much she’s grown. dark secrets made it sound bad, y’know? guess they could have that kind of, like, regular secrets

dark secret also doesn’t always mean bad secret. could be a really personal or deep one too. s’all perspective. ( sigh. ) i’mma still carry her when wanted! it’s a good workout to lift and lower baby.

that’s fair. just the first way i thought of it. and i know you’re gonna be pickin’ her up even when she’s full grown

see that’ll be me carrying a couch all the time— ( looking behind him. hazel’s laying against his leg and staring back. ) well. actually, at this rate, that might be a really long while.

i dunno, seems like she’s growin’ real fast. guess i don’t see her everyday like ya do so ’s more noticeable

( lifting her up. the service vest adds more, but she’s definitely gotten bigger than her baby self. tail wagging. ) got the same marbles rollin’ around in there.

aww, course she does. she’s real smart, ain’t ya hazel?

( hazelnut barks as an answer, one paw lifted upwards and pressing against dal’s cheek. ) so smart that she knows it’s time fer’ the “ blue ice ” bottle.

real impressive that ya taught her everythin' by yourself

( she’s glaring; he nods and heads to the couch. a bottle is pulled from the bag, top pushed off with his thumb. ) maybe not everythin’. her momma and her pops gave her a few life lessons.

well yeah, course. more meant her bein' a service dog and all

that was a trip. an’ it even made her a bilingual dog. however, she suddenly and suspiciously loses understandin’ of the word vet. ( taking the meds and poking at her snout. )

prolly does that on purpose (laughs)

it’s totally on purpose! but no memory lapses can stop the vet visit.

unfortunately for hazel

she gets along fine with the vet; well behaved durin’ check-ups. can have a lil’ treat. maybe it’s the word itself?

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

yeah, glad you’re excited ‘bout it

why wouldn’t i be?

gotta agree ’s pretty excitin’

yes yes!! let the babies touch noses or somethin’. hopefully this time, she won’t get licked away when meetin’ another.

well hazel ain’t so tiny anymore so that’s harder to do. should be alright

harder yeah, but not impossible. she’s only half of a half. maybe they’ll share squeaky toys! or dark secrets.

sure, yeah. ain’t like she’s fittin’ in your coat pocket anymore though. toys sounds ‘bout right. hope they don’t have any dark secrets

she’s tried. her head fits. n’ why not? think we all have at least one secret that hasn’t hit the public eye yet. maybe they buried somethin’ massive.

aw poor hazel don’t realize how much she’s grown. dark secrets made it sound bad, y’know? guess they could have that kind of, like, regular secrets

dark secret also doesn’t always mean bad secret. could be a really personal or deep one too. s’all perspective. ( sigh. ) i’mma still carry her when wanted! it’s a good workout to lift and lower baby.

that’s fair. just the first way i thought of it. and i know you’re gonna be pickin’ her up even when she’s full grown

see that’ll be me carrying a couch all the time— ( looking behind him. hazel’s laying against his leg and staring back. ) well. actually, at this rate, that might be a really long while.

i dunno, seems like she’s growin’ real fast. guess i don’t see her everyday like ya do so ’s more noticeable

( lifting her up. the service vest adds more, but she’s definitely gotten bigger than her baby self. tail wagging. ) got the same marbles rollin’ around in there.

aww, course she does. she’s real smart, ain’t ya hazel?

( hazelnut barks as an answer, one paw lifted upwards and pressing against dal’s cheek. ) so smart that she knows it’s time fer’ the “ blue ice ” bottle.

real impressive that ya taught her everythin' by yourself

( she’s glaring; he nods and heads to the couch. a bottle is pulled from the bag, top pushed off with his thumb. ) maybe not everythin’. her momma and her pops gave her a few life lessons.

well yeah, course. more meant her bein' a service dog and all

that was a trip. an’ it even made her a bilingual dog. however, she suddenly and suspiciously loses understandin’ of the word vet. ( taking the meds and poking at her snout. )

prolly does that on purpose (laughs)

#ooc milk man. your all good. ( ᐛ )

it’s totally on purpose! but no memory lapses can stop the vet visit.

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

yeah, glad you’re excited ‘bout it

why wouldn’t i be?

gotta agree ’s pretty excitin’

yes yes!! let the babies touch noses or somethin’. hopefully this time, she won’t get licked away when meetin’ another.

well hazel ain’t so tiny anymore so that’s harder to do. should be alright

harder yeah, but not impossible. she’s only half of a half. maybe they’ll share squeaky toys! or dark secrets.

sure, yeah. ain’t like she’s fittin’ in your coat pocket anymore though. toys sounds ‘bout right. hope they don’t have any dark secrets

she’s tried. her head fits. n’ why not? think we all have at least one secret that hasn’t hit the public eye yet. maybe they buried somethin’ massive.

aw poor hazel don’t realize how much she’s grown. dark secrets made it sound bad, y’know? guess they could have that kind of, like, regular secrets

dark secret also doesn’t always mean bad secret. could be a really personal or deep one too. s’all perspective. ( sigh. ) i’mma still carry her when wanted! it’s a good workout to lift and lower baby.

that’s fair. just the first way i thought of it. and i know you’re gonna be pickin’ her up even when she’s full grown

see that’ll be me carrying a couch all the time— ( looking behind him. hazel’s laying against his leg and staring back. ) well. actually, at this rate, that might be a really long while.

i dunno, seems like she’s growin’ real fast. guess i don’t see her everyday like ya do so ’s more noticeable

( lifting her up. the service vest adds more, but she’s definitely gotten bigger than her baby self. tail wagging. ) got the same marbles rollin’ around in there.

aww, course she does. she’s real smart, ain’t ya hazel?

( hazelnut barks as an answer, one paw lifted upwards and pressing against dal’s cheek. ) so smart that she knows it’s time fer’ the “ blue ice ” bottle.

real impressive that ya taught her everythin' by yourself

( she’s glaring; he nods and heads to the couch. a bottle is pulled from the bag, top pushed off with his thumb. ) maybe not everythin’. her momma and her pops gave her a few life lessons.

well yeah, course. more meant her bein' a service dog and all

that was a trip. an’ it even made her a bilingual dog. however, she suddenly and suspiciously loses understandin’ of the word vet. ( taking the meds and poking at her snout. )

think hazel and axle have gotta meet soon. should be good friends -@the-johnny-cakes

THEY SHOULD!!

yeah, glad you’re excited ‘bout it

why wouldn’t i be?

gotta agree ’s pretty excitin’

yes yes!! let the babies touch noses or somethin’. hopefully this time, she won’t get licked away when meetin’ another.

well hazel ain’t so tiny anymore so that’s harder to do. should be alright

harder yeah, but not impossible. she’s only half of a half. maybe they’ll share squeaky toys! or dark secrets.

sure, yeah. ain’t like she’s fittin’ in your coat pocket anymore though. toys sounds ‘bout right. hope they don’t have any dark secrets

she’s tried. her head fits. n’ why not? think we all have at least one secret that hasn’t hit the public eye yet. maybe they buried somethin’ massive.

aw poor hazel don’t realize how much she’s grown. dark secrets made it sound bad, y’know? guess they could have that kind of, like, regular secrets

dark secret also doesn’t always mean bad secret. could be a really personal or deep one too. s’all perspective. ( sigh. ) i’mma still carry her when wanted! it’s a good workout to lift and lower baby.

that’s fair. just the first way i thought of it. and i know you’re gonna be pickin’ her up even when she’s full grown

see that’ll be me carrying a couch all the time— ( looking behind him. hazel’s laying against his leg and staring back. ) well. actually, at this rate, that might be a really long while.

i dunno, seems like she’s growin’ real fast. guess i don’t see her everyday like ya do so ’s more noticeable

( lifting her up. the service vest adds more, but she’s definitely gotten bigger than her baby self. tail wagging. ) got the same marbles rollin’ around in there.

aww, course she does. she’s real smart, ain’t ya hazel?

( hazelnut barks as an answer, one paw lifted upwards and pressing against dal’s cheek. ) so smart that she knows it’s time fer’ the “ blue ice ” bottle.

real impressive that ya taught her everythin' by yourself