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Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@chopbiscuit-blog
I was once a heavy user of shark-bothering equipment.
She's my tenderoni....
Bobby Bowden speaking before eating his Prime Rib and after his '96 win versus Florida
Seven Things You Can Do To Make Your Thanksgiving More Festive
Thanksgiving has always been a holiday where it's nice to reflect back on the year and say to yourself, "I didn't achieve any of my goals, once again." Throw in a little lean turkey meat, weird uncles and a few Ales, and the holiday seems to set a calming pace for us to finish out the year.
In Chopbiscuit fashion, I would like to give you seven personal recommendations to jazz up your Turkey Day.
7. Bring a turkey to your dinner and tell them you caught it with your bare hands
We're not advocating lying over here on the biscuit, but a clever fib now and then is known to be a great cleanser. Walk in the house during the morning hours with your hunting garb on, looking disheveled and tell them a tale about your amazing ability to stalk prey. Let them know your were stealth enough to sneak up on the bird and get it in an arm bar until he fell asleep - WWE style.
Immediately start giving hi-fives to all the males in the room and ask them where the bathroom is.
6. Have a Miami Vice themed Thanksgiving
What does Crockett and Tubbs have to do with this holiday? Nothing, that's why it would be great. Stage your house as the Metro Dade police department, have some Jans Hammer blasting in the background and enjoy your new wave holiday as a South Beach throwback.
5. Stage a fake argument with a family member on whether the stuffing should be inside -or- outside the turkey
Good family arguments always denote a great holiday experience. Fake a heated exchange about stuffing and then introduce a mind numbing acquisition to the relatives in attendance.
Ex. Uncle Bill, why don't you just tell your wife that you posed for the Thunder From Down Under calendar?
4. Every time someone says, "Could you pass me the green bean casserole", start ranting that JFK's death was staged by someone in the government.
Good conspiracy conversation over food is always welcomed. Throw ludicrous facts out on how government officials staged his death, then immediately turn around and check out the football score on the television.
3. Let everyone know at dinner that The Native Americans wore deerskin and fur, not blankets. Repeat that fact often.
If someone mentions that you've already stated that fact, tell them that you're just looking out for the natives and that they wouldn't have the freedoms we have today if it wasn't for deerskin. Then, walk away at a brisk pace.
2. Tell everyone this joke -
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
If they don't show much reaction, pull them aside and say that you're going through a tough time and that you've developed early stage Scurvy. Pull out a Sunny D and sip aggressively and thank them for your support.
1. Show everyone your binder that has pictures of celebrities and their look-alike dogs
This is sure to be fun for all involved. Hours spent cuddling on the couch looking at Cher's doppleganger - an Afghan hound and Myley Cyrus's Alaskan Klee Kai. This is sure to create a bond for years to come.
Have a Great Thanksgiving Everyone!
We compiled a list of the most useful YouTube videos that every entrepreneur should watch.
If you've ever wanted to start your own business or develop a jetpack - click on the link and see the 10 YouTube videos that every start-up or entrepreneur should watch.
Notice how you don't see any viral cat or selfie videos in the top ten. I know, strange.
Chopbiscuit Geargetry - Leather Strapped Canteen and Lunch Box Set
I you're like me, you've always craved for a Dick Van Hoff Leather Strapped Canteen and Lunch Box Set. After your done buttoning up that excel spreadsheet and chattin' with the new blonde by the copier - invite her to the lunch room and show her how you roll. She will be impressed with your proactive nature towards your health and a consciousness for the planet and genuine awesomeness.
Leather Strapped Canteen and Lunch Box Set
$299 USD
Naive corn-pone skiing wunderkind picks up beautiful hitchhiking bimbo on way to ski competition. Once at the ski competition he is taunted in the daytime and laid at night, by different people. Four letter words, stoopid ethnic stereotypes (the Asian skiier's dancing looks like martial arts, of course) and skinny naked women with badly dated hairstyles abound. Not worth seeing except on cable -- the nudity is the big selling point and if you're not embarrassed to rent a movie with this title, you might as well go a little further and rent something honestly labeled as smut, instead of off-and-on nudity masquerading as "comedy."
You're welcome
Forget passion. Goals are for losers. Dilbert creator Scott Adams reveals his secret to climbing to the top: Fail. A lot.
Don't set goals?
Don't be passionate about your work. It's just work.
Be aware of other opportunities, always.
Sell the spreadsheet, not your internal desire.
Interesting stuff
Chopbiscuit Geargetry - Truss Minimalist Bottle Opener
If you like minimalistic approaches to design, bottles and bottle openers - we have the perfect present. From Truss comes the Minimalist Bottle Opener. It will last forever, it's pretty cool looking on a key chain and it opens your beer bottles. Hipsters at the backyard barbecue will be extremely jealous when you open their favorite IPA with this sleek, sexy bottle opener.
Truss Minimalist Bottle Opener
$8 USD
Americans Starting To Realize That "Light" Beer Is Pretty Shitty
After fifty plus years of dominating the American beer landscape, the legacy manufacturers of the flooded Premium Light Beer categories are loosing some serious market share. Beer Bohemoths such as Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors have had to deal with a growing trend of people moving out of the tired category into bigger flavors and leaving beer altogether and switching to wine.
According to a survey by Consumer Edge Insight, beer consumers appear to be shifting away from the premium light segment. That’s more bad news for the beer industry, given the dominance of light beer in the marketplace. The top two best-selling beer brands, Bud Light and Coors Light, together have about a 27 percent share of the market. I'm not sure if cute frogs, teary Clydesdale ads or beers with 64 calories will make the cut anymore. It's about flavor and lets face it, Light Beer doesn't have any. It's a commodity and synthetic flavor that has dominated the landscape for too many years and people are now calling it out. The way poor, destitute families are drawn to fast food, they are also pushed down the aisle to purchase the cheapest six-pack  in the cooler - which is Light Beer.
The biggest takeaway from the survey states the main reason for the shift?
Twenty-seven percent of the respondents said they are “getting tired of the taste.”
Boom goes the dynamite. Taste. Light Beer tastes like muddy water with a sprinkle of malt sediment. The flavor has been gutted out by the process to mass produce commodity beer to all that partake. Do I still think all these Light Beers have a place in society? Sure, in college it was all about quantity and there's a stage to host it with Light Beer.
Take a look at some other facts from the survey:
Age:Â Among younger drinkers, aged 21-27 years old, 40 percent say they are getting tired of the taste of premium lights.
Demographics:Â In the fast growing Hispanic demographic, 39 percent say they are tired of the taste.
Brand: 28 percent named a premium light brand as their favorite, down from 32 percent in June 2012.
Perception: 37 percent are more likely to describe the premium light segment as “watery” in 2013 vs. 34 percent last year.
As we currently sit, Light Beer still dominates the market. Craft beer only represents 6% of the total volume of beer sold in America. Good news is that it's had double digit growth rates for the last 5 years.
Finally, Craft beer is REAL beer. It's what beer tasted like prior to being massed produced and mishandled by big corporations. It followed the same trek as the shitty bread options we had during the 50's, 60's and 70's. A company figures out how to make it with crappy ingredients, ramp up production and throw millions of marketing dollars at it.
If you're a beer drinker, just don't drink shitty beer - unless shitty beer is your bag.....baby.
Chopbiscuit Geargetry - {The American Craft Beer Cookbook}
This is one of those books you just click BUY, right when you read the title. From slow-cooked Dopplebock BBQ meatballs, to Crawfish Bordelaise and Stouty chocolate Cupcakes - this book is for all of you diehard craft beer enthusiasts. What a great opportunity to show up all your foodie friends with some craft beer flava.
The American Craft Beer Cookbook
$15.21 USD
There's many reasons why I drink Peeper Ale on Sunday's. Here's a few: 1. It helps me throw a looser knuckleball. 2. I know the terrorists dislike the American Hops. 3. The ladies. 4. The last time I drank it I beat my old high score for Ikari Warriors.
The Restaurant Technology Conondrum
A restaurant, by definition, has a very simple cadence.
1. Prepare quality and satisfying food and beverage
2. Serve it in a warm and inviting surrounding
Anything outside of these two points can be seen as ancillary from the guests standpoint. One issue many restaurants are going through right now is the introduction of right "guest facing" technology and how it actually adds value, versus a disadvantage for customers. In the world of corporate food retail, many concepts are positioning themselves with technology platforms looking to create less friction, add new customers and ultimately pump-up transactions. Companies often become first adapters and wiling to try to any tech platform that can reduce line or wait times, only suffering from the unseen variables that technology brings to the table, literally. We've all seen and most likely experienced the downside and disadvantage of early tech adaption, i.e. trying to self check-out at a Home Depot or Lowes.
Right now there's a Space Race for restaurants to introduce digital gadgetry into restaurants as a way to connect with younger customers. Much has been written over the last year about how the battle for customers has moved online. Everyday there's old men and women in khakis and power suits talking to young tech gurus on how to integrate technology into their concepts in a way that their guests will embrace it. Don't get a me wrong, I'm a tech geek and thoroughly enjoy the experiences that technology brings me from a user standpoint. Also, it's very valuable from a back end experience for increased effeciency, I'm all for having platforms that optimize mundane tasks and traditional restaurant tasks. The problem with the tech assumption is that there's a breaking point in the near future where all people will all want to control their experience, in all environments. I don't believe that's true. Many people dine out because it's one of the few experiences that have the point of interaction in a traditional manner. More and more I see coffee shops, restaurants and bakeries that have started to reverse course and pull the guest facing technology out in order to create a more traditional experience.
Many restaurant concepts look at companies such as Amazon and ebay as a way to change the dynamic in their business. Eventually, you're going to have to ask yourself something. Is the quality of your guests experience really better because of the gadgetry? Smart phones are bringing connectivity to your concept anywhere and everywhere, but is the experience heightened? When's the last time you connected with -- oh I don't know -- your guests? The restaurant industry is first and foremost a people industry. It will most likely stay that way, unless computers develop digestion tracts.
Technology, for its own sake, has created the unquestioned workplace edict and soup de jour. Unfortunately, there's always a constant learning curve that could only be fully ascended by those whose first love was technology - the fringe guest. Companies in the restaurant have forgotten about the main focus in this business and assumed that everyone will become this fringe participant. People, not machines, should be your passion. Once you cut the chord on that interaction and put that experience in the hands of a screen, you better make sure that App or software platform knows how to be courtly and kind to your most valued customers.
The key to the integration of technology in the future will be the opportunity for the guests to make that decision. The standard will be to have the mobile/online experience secluded for those who choose to adapt and offer the traditional experience for those who embrace the opportunity to be analog.
Infographic Of The Week - Do You Really Hate Foam Mustaches?
What Your Coffee Says About You infographic
Five Things That Really Don't Matter
As you age like a fine French wine, or your favorite Riunite on ice, you start to realize what really matters in life. Everything you thought that mattered ultimately doesn't. Things you based your existence on, eventually fade into obscureness like a New Wave British Pop Band in the early 80's, i.e. Bronski Beat.
I believe there's a growing demographic of people that just want to do "Cool Stuff". No strings attached, isolated independence from having a reason for everything you do.
5. You're Adoption Rate To Technology
For the record, I'm pretty much a first adopter to new technology that makes my life easier. I'm pretty much a tech geek at heart. Modern conveniences can be wonderful things and have made Billionaires and helped thousands of businesses flourish. Mobile phones provide a new level of safety and convenience by never being out of touch with your loved ones and co-workers. While technology can have a positive influence in our lives, remember the significance of conversing and enjoying an entire dinner without texting.Â
Nothing is more important than our personal relationships. Nothing.
*(Well, maybe Chicago Hot Dogs)
4. Extreme Passion For Everything
I'm pretty tired of everyone and everything telling me that I must show this frenzied passion for all activities that I participate in. Honestly, I'm not sure if I have extreme passion for anything outside of my family and friends. My passion is more the pursuit of partaking in REALLY COOL THINGS. Whether that's work, play or self time - I just try to do cool things.
On the contrary, I wouldn't want to hold back the passion that a young scientist has for curing cancer, or solving Alzheimer's. For the most of us, it's just an overused term to share with your friends on Facebook and to nail a job interview.
3. Wealth
For many people, the love of money is the root of all evil. Having money in and of itself is not evil; the love of money is. Maybe it's because I've never had a shit ton of money, or I've never been driven to define myself by it?
I really loved the idea of not worrying about money. Day-to-day, I don't think of money - I think of doing something cool and sometimes I will have to buy that hamburger for a certain price.
2. Defining Yourself Through Work
Like wealth, many of us define ourselves by our job. Most people often ask "what do you do for a living?", when they're first introduced to someone. I recently sat with a gentleman from Germany who found it cheeky that Americans often introduce themselves by what type of work they do. I found it cheeky that he was in town to see a David Hasselhof concert. I really enjoy my job, but I'm not defined by it in any sense. I choose to work where I do because it's a cool job and I enjoy everyone I work with.
1. Success (The Moving Target)
How do most of us define success? Many would define this by the size of our house, car or how many followers we have on Twitter. What matters to you may not matter to me. We all want our lives to count, which puts a bit of pressure on us to get our only chance right – if we truly want it to count. We always want to extend ourselves to be the biggest and best, I just want to be in the conversation and holding a beer in the other hand.
Meet Larry Hustle - Sr. Manager (Episode II - Larry's Got Game)
Meet Larry Hustle. He’s a Senior Manager for a large public company. He enjoys a good breakfast at Shoney’s, spending time with his cat Ronny and watching UFC. He also enjoys watching Everybody Loves Raymond and loves the ladies. Larry has a good heart and a finely crafted goatee, which he covets. He shops at Kohl's and is suspicious about the government.
In this episode, Larry's company decides to have a 'Drink at Work' day to promote social interaction between employees. Larry immediately jumped into action to win over one of his colleagues, Lisa from finance. Outside of having a morning Mimosa during the weekly recap meeting, Larry was excited to introduce Lisa to one of his favorite beers - 5 Barrel Pale Ale from Odell Brewing Company.
Unfortunately, Larry was soon to find out that Lisa doesn't drink and she's a born again Christian. Bummed out, Larry preceded to walk down to the break room and tell his co-worker Gary that his plans were foiled. Later that day Larry fell of his ten speed and suffered minor injuries. He's now doing fine and just wrapped up Season II of Battlestar Galactica.
All's well that ends well.
Five Things You Need To Stop Doing Now
5. Living Through Your Past
What has happened in the past is now in the past. You have learned, hopefully, from your mistakes and it’s time to move on. If you haven't and still own that Hot Dog Food Truck, well, eventually you will find a buyer. Until you can let go of the past you cannot live in the present, plan for the future and grow as a person. Remember, your current life does not define who you are - your future does, unless you have a Delorean. If that's the case, you know what happens when you hit 88 mph.
4. Comparing Yourself To Others
We often look around and see people who we assume are doing a lot better than we are and we don’t really notice those who are doing a lot worse. Granted, Leonardo DiCaprio probably lives a pretty cool life. But, thinking that having someone else’s life or someone else’s problems will make you happier than you make yourself in the now, you rob yourself of the chance to clear an amazing future for yourself. Some of the happiest people I've ever met have had the bare minimums and seemed to cherish every moment and interaction that's presented to them. If you make it through your day without being attacked by a drone, you're doing better than some.
3. Reading Self Help Books - Going To Self Help Seminars
This industry drives me absolutely crazy. If you've ever visited the self-help section at Amazon or your local bookshop, you know that there's is a written remedy for every ailment you think you have in your life. These books supposedly will tell you the secrets to lasting fulfillment and joy, career fulfillment and how to stand out from the rest. If any of these books really did remedy and boost you into self-superstardom, wouldn't they own the marketplace and crowd out all the competitive alternatives? Instead there's thousands of these books, everywhere.
Self Help Seminars offer these same promises. Attend a three day class on how to "Kickstart your future" and you will leave knowing the secret to administering your inner superhero. Granted, most of the facilitators state that they're just the conduit to bring out your inner strength, but I just don't buy it. Stop depending on someone's template to make you happy - you know what makes you happy and what drives you. Some stranger will only give you a little 3-day buzz and you will be right back where you started the following week.
2. Over Committing
Stop over-committing to everyone both professionally and personally. While saying “yes” can take you to some amazing places, there’s also a ton of value and common sense in saying “no.” Life is extremely limited; do you really want to give it away so easily? I've been personally guilty of this for most of my adult life. Saying no is refreshing, even if my wife disagrees.
1. Setting Goals For Everything In Your Life
I know many people that have a laundry list of goals. Everything they do, is based on achieving a goal. I'm not saying it's bad to set goals, just don't be consumed by them. Sometimes you just need to live and enjoy the moment even if it's not leading up to achieving one of your goals.
Relax.