[choruschoir]

[ What's up nerds? My name is Pumpkin, I use she / it pronouns, and I am over 30 years old. I was previously found under the url notfighters, as well as acanofawesome, but uh. Yeah, I can't get into those blogs anymore.

This is a multimuse blog for General Doyle, Doctor Grey, Locus, and Felix from Red vs Blue, and their information, as well as my rules, can be found on their carrd! ]

[gothish]

how am i supposed to forgive myself for losing you

[choruschoir]

Eggs do NOT have flared bases--!

[sin-aestheticx]

dick from a nerd that looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world

[choruschoir]

"What if I put Captain Simmons and an entire pizza in the middle of the maze, and hid several snacks in strategic places around the maze?"

[abitofafatass]

"I am not a mouse. I have free will. There is no amount of snacks or nerd you can put into the middle of a maze to make me go back inside that fucker."

[choruschoir]

"Suit yourself. I'll simply resume trying to put a shock collar on Captain Tucker."

[choruschoir]

"Not in an official capacity, but Captain Caboose is an entire terabyte of data in my observational notes. I think I'd enjoy putting several of you people in a maze like mice. Maybe with grenades and ammunition at strategic points..."

[abitofafatass]

"I am not getting in that goddamn Labyrinth again and you cant make me. Fuck that."

[choruschoir]

"What if I put Captain Simmons and an entire pizza in the middle of the maze, and hid several snacks in strategic places around the maze?"

[choruschoir]

"Yeah, it wasn't a guess. I mean, look at you. Look at how you stand."

[abitofafatass]

"Just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

[choruschoir]

"People who had good childhoods don't stand like that."

[choruschoir]

I want to study you people.

[abitofafatass]

"Honest question, you weren't already?"

[choruschoir]

"Not in an official capacity, but Captain Caboose is an entire terabyte of data in my observational notes. I think I'd enjoy putting several of you people in a maze like mice. Maybe with grenades and ammunition at strategic points..."

[choruschoir]

"Yeah, everything about you says your mama didn't raise anything. Your fat ass maybe invented sucking nitro out of spray cheese and getting pissed it doesn't get you high."

[abitofafatass]

"... Actually, I gotta hand it to ya, my momma didn't raise shit. Score one for lucky guesses, if you're feeling like some pity numbers."

[choruschoir]

"Yeah, it wasn't a guess. I mean, look at you. Look at how you stand."

[choruschoir]

I want to study you people.

[choruschoir]

You have gotta stop handing me layups.

[abitofafatass]

"As the man who invented and then perfected sucking dick, is it really that shocking? Mama raised a quitter, not a spitter."

[choruschoir]

"Yeah, everything about you says your mama didn't raise anything. Your fat ass maybe invented sucking nitro out of spray cheese and getting pissed it doesn't get you high."

[abitofafatass]

"Its not that I'm embarrassed to tell the world I eat jizz or something, I just don't want it on a fuckin' t-shirt."

[choruschoir]

You have gotta stop handing me layups.

[choruschoir]

[ MY BETA BLOCKER IS HERE! ]

[choruschoir]

"I just prefer intelligent conversation, champ," he snorts, dragging the sharp side of his knife along the leather strop he uses to finish off his sharpening. "Besides, I bet you'd be just as obsessed with your voice if you sounded even half as pretty as I do."

[choruschoir]

[ book I own and Felix also owns ]

[choruschoir]

"And yet, I'm sitting here, unbothered, with perfectly seasoned crawfish over jasmine rice, and you're bitching about quesadilla cooking methods instead of just making yourself a quesadilla."

[abitofafatass]

"'Perfectly seasoned.'" Grif rolled his eyes and scoffed. Like an adult, he got out a pan to make his correct quesadilla (one that required two tortillas instead of a fold). "I like microwave meals as much as the next asshole, but let's not pretend that it's anything better than barely adequate."

[choruschoir]

"Greek seasoning, garlic, onion powder since it's a little more concentrated, turmeric, curry powder if I can't get that, lemon juice, salt, fresh ground pepper, little paprika, little tajin--" And yes, he does say both "cayenne" and "tajin" correctly. "--fried in butter, drizzled with just a little bit of roasted garlic oil. Even got MSG in my rice too, motherfucker. I cook like a monster for sport, asshole, I know what good food tastes like."

[choruschoir]

"Couple reasons, actually. One, because I'm an adult and I can do what I want; two, because it's what's consistently working and available; three, specifically because of people like you and Sam. If I can't see a vein bulging in somebody's forehead because of how I'm cooking, I'm cooking wrong."

[abitofafatass]

"You know what, a degenerate like you deserves rubbery tortilla and half-melted cheese. You earned bland-tasting, nuked food for the rest of your fucking life."

[choruschoir]

"And yet, I'm sitting here, unbothered, with perfectly seasoned crawfish over jasmine rice, and you're bitching about quesadilla cooking methods instead of just making yourself a quesadilla."