Sometimes it feels like people kinda forget your pain when it’s chronic.
When someone healthy/able bodied gets sick or injured, people will pour out their support and understanding right away, which is good, obviously.
But after a while, people get tired of hearing about it.
They get tired of having to work around it, tired of having to be understanding.
But just because your empathy fades, doesn’t mean our pain and grief does.
I’m so, so tired of my pain. Of having to be understood. Of not having any chance to have a proper career, or dreams, or relationship.
I’m tired of my hands not working enough for me to write, draw and craft, which is what is normally keeping me going.
They just keep getting worse.
I’m tired of the pains related to my endometriosis and pcos making me unable to eat properly, get any exercise, and for making me bedridden more and more these days.
I’m tired of having to beg for support in what little buisniess I manage to make sure I survive during my rough recovery periods after surgeries and bad flare up’s.
I’m tired of knowing my life will not be a long one.
I’m tired of complaining, of being in pain, of grieving, of feeling like a burden.
There are no breaks for me.
That doesn’t mean I get used to it. I will never be used to it.
And I think I should be allowed to talk about all of this without feeling like a burden.
I probably won’t ever get to that point, but this is me trying to get there.
By being open and honest, and hoping that at least one person takes the time to read.
If you’re still here, still reading, thank you. It means the world.
Be kind to those around you who are like me.
We’re not happy about our situations, either, but having people willing to stick around and listen makes it a little easier to survive.
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