Chronic Backstabbing Disorder

Autistic, disabled, asexual, transmasc who just loves media. He/Them/It Pronouns. I am an adult and I do post the occasional NSFW content.

[chronicbackstabbingdisorder]

Our system’s little has her own blog. If you want to follow it please leave all discourse at the door. 

Our PFP was a gift drawn for us by our friend Garden, she sells it in sticker form on her redbubble.

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Because apparently this needs saying because I haven’t been direct enough about it. Friendly reminder that I'm against harassment, suicide baiting, doxxing, and everything like that. If you think telling people to kill themselves is acceptable, this blog is not for you, I don't like you and I don't feel safe around you. My suicidal ass sees that, and no matter the reason, I see someone who thinks suicide is a joke, at best, and at worst, someone who enjoys hurting people.

You are never just hurting the 'bad' person that you think has it coming, you're hurting people who might otherwise agree with you, you're hurting people who are suicidal, and you're hurting people who've lost someone to suicide.

So again, if you do this crap, do us both a favor and show yourself the door.

[roovenn]

Roses will be your resting place commission for @Organizaci41882 !

[chronicbackstabbingdisorder]

That's it, that's the tumblr experience!

[officialbabygirl-deactivated202]

you never really recover from being queer and autistic in middle school

[zombblehh]

Shout out to the autistic who’s abilities have regressed as they’ve gotten older.

“You didn’t used to be like this when you were a kid.” I know please don’t remind me

[theconcealedweapon]

"This never bothered you when you were a kid."

Yes it did. I just let it slide because I was taught that I'm "too sensitive" anytime something bothered me. But now I'm finally standing up for myself.

"You never struggled with this when you were a kid."

Yes I did. I just burned myself out in order to do it so I wouldn't be punished. But now I'm accepting myself enough to not force myself to do what I was never meant to do.

[countessravengrey]

"You didn't have these problems when you were younger."

Yes, I did. I just spent my child/teen years with structured institutions like school while not having to worry about whether I had a roof over my head or food to eat and spent my early adult years using up every bit of adrenaline I will ever have to ignore the fact that I've been chronically burnt out my whole life.

[chronicbackstabbingdisorder]

I once again have a migraine. At what point am I allowed to start biting? I know I should be resting in a quiet dark room without looking at a screen, but resting all day gets so fucking boring that I start spiraling if I can't distract my brain.

[chronicbackstabbingdisorder]

I just opened a package from the pharmacy, very relieved that my meds were finally here. It was. the wrong. fucking medication.

They sent me something I've already stopped taking instead of what they were supposed to send me. I am so fucking sick of this bullshit.

[renthony]

"Nobody wants to hear about your D&D character. Nobody wants to hear about your novel. Nobody wants to hear about your fandom opinions. Nobody wants to hear about the TV show you're watching. Nobody wants to hear about the dinner you cooked last night. Nobody wants to hear about your kid. Nobody wants to hear about your weird hobbies. Nobody wants to listen to you infodump about boring shit. Nobody wants to hear about--hey, why do you never talk to anyone? You know it's the only way to make friends! You can't get anyone to like you if you're quiet all the time!"

[iloveyoudeanwinchester]

Can't you see I'm fucking trying!!!!!!!!

[luckoon]

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘴

[lumpydigits]

Blobligation

[chinesewednesday]

[luidilovins]

my couchsona

[seananmcguire]

I would buy this and cover it in weird plush and sleep on it every night.

[chronicbackstabbingdisorder]

I once again have a migraine. At what point am I allowed to start biting? I know I should be resting in a quiet dark room without looking at a screen, but resting all day gets so fucking boring that I start spiraling if I can't distract my brain.

[necronomicon]

honestly it’s kind of upsetting how much of the autism experience is just being shamed out expressing yourself in any way that’s normal for you and learning to keep everything to yourself so you’re not shamed for being weird and then being shamed for being so quiet because it’s also weird to be quiet but if you tell this to anyone else they’ll say “why do you care so much what people think” and that’s when the ancient ape part of your brain gets ready to beat them to death

[chateauofmymind]

have you ever suddenly + involuntarily lost consciousness

yes (fainted)

yes (head trauma)

yes (substance-induced)

yes (lack of oxygen)

yes (blood loss)

yes (multiple)

no

Remaining time: 1 day 3 hours

[synibread]

[bugshroom]

Antique Czech Glass Charms

(c. 1890s-1930s)

[battle-for-dyke-island]

this is what healthcare is like as a disabled person