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Today's Document
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
sheepfilms
shark vs the universe
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
we're not kids anymore.
Janaina Medeiros
roma★
Claire Keane
d e v o n
Kaledo Art
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Product Placement
Cosimo Galluzzi
NASA
Not today Justin
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
DEAR READER
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@chronicillschronicpills
Thank you so much I am reading through your blog and I am crying over how relatable these things are but also how helpful the information is thank you
I know I haven’t been posting in months, perhaps years?? but i decided to log into today, and i check my question box (because they never give me notifcations!!?!??!?!) and i see this.
It made my day. It makes me want to post more.
I'm so sorry you relate but you are not alone.
Aston
This. Let’s get it
This is a repost of art made by Instagram user thrive_withmeg - so if you like it and use Instagram, go follow the original artist.
[ID: Infographic by thrive_withmeg titled "Things I'm No Longer Apologizing For" in all caps. Each picture is paired with a caption in lowercase.
The first is "working at a slower pace" under a person wearing a dark top and tan pants balancing a laptop on their arms while typing.
The second is "not always being available" under a smartphone with a power symbol and the words "power off".
The third is "how long it takes to process my feelings" under a pink journal with white and gold flowers on the cover.
The fourth is "now knowing an answer right away" under a search bar with a pink magnifying glass.
The fifth is "accepting my body as it is" under a larger person with a blue afro sitting cross-legged, one arm stretched above the head and the other out to the side.
The sixth is "prioritizing the people that matter" under two people with striped boxes of popcorn. The one on the left is wearing gold pajamas and sitting cross-legged. The other is wearing white pajamas and sitting sideways.
/End ID]
men’s domestic helplessness is not cute or charming pls raise your sons to know how to cook a vegetable and wash their dirty socks i’m begging
for the anon that was asking "how to get people to understand chronic pain": my ex was... really bad about it when i first met him/before we started dating. he insisted to my husband (we were all three dating) that i wasnt doing enough, that i needed to get a formal job (i did/still do/have always done most of the housework), that i could and should do more, that there was no need for me to lay in bed fully some days (i rarely did this while he was around because i was scared he would think poorly of me--turns out he did regardless). no amount of explaining it helped. no amount of seeing me curled up crying helped. he actively put me in positions of overexertion and i had to mask as best i could.
the only thing that got him to understand was while we were moving. i had overexerted myself to the point of curling up in a ball sobbing and holding one of our dogs, and he had managed to overexert himself, as well--and had to sit against the wall in-tears in the same room as me bc he didnt want to be alone. he complained, i complained, and added a "i hurt every day and it's already bad, but when i do too much it gets like this". he got mostly better about it after that.
i think the only way some people will ever truly understand is if they experience extreme pain. and i hate that. it might be good to example, "what's been the worst pain you've ever been in? what's the longest you've ever been in pain. did you ever just give up 'resting' and try to do stuff anyway, even if it made it worse? or did you ever just push through it even if it was agonizing?"
Im sorry you went through this, thank you for sharing your story.
I do agree. Thats why i try and compare it to things a lot of people have already experienced. Like for me, my fatigue is like the flu on roids, and most people have had the flu. But even then, i recently had the experience with my bestfriend, who is GREAT and one of the best people i know. she is also an amazing nurse, and knows all about my health.
but a month ago we moved into together and she said something along the lines of ... youre having another nap? or you're always asleep, (kindly, more interested tone and didn't offend me, we have a very honest and healthy relationship, i know she just wanted to hang out), but for me, it cemented that she could not visualise the amount of time i actually sleep, even though she KNOWS in her head that i sleep 12-23 hours a day, UNTIL SHE SAW IT (mind you, im doing really well at the moment).
Do you have any tips for getting people to understand that I experience chronic pain and it might mean I can't do something one day that I could do a different day?
this is a really really tough question.
I have found surely what I am sure what you have, which is that peoples sympathy or empathy for chronic illness and pain seems to have a time limit. This is generally for a bunch of reasons which might not be malicious at all.
For me, my whole family and friends clearly understand that my illness is an insane influence on my life. They do not expect that it will be the same everyday.
Normally, to understand chronic illness, I compare to illnesses or injuries that other people might have experience, like pain after working out/ straining a muscle/ having the flu. But sometimes this does not always work. It could be that they literally cannot fathom it since every pain, injury or illness they have had did stop.
Communication is massive. Some things that I have done is just casually remind them a lot about my pain or illness in reference to future events or things for example, if they are talking about wanting to do x with you, I would say that is sounds so great but we might have to organise closer to the date because 'i never know how i am going to feel', or 'i hope i'm going to feel okay'. If you continue to insert this type of behaviour into just normal conversation, they will also begin to factor it into their lives. Even just little things like for me, the sun causes pain, so if its sunny i'll verbalise that i'm moving out of the sun cause 'damn its making my skin hurt!'. I also personally know my friends watch my instagram stories so sometimes i just throw a light hearted joke on my story like "these late night fevers really be lit", again just reminding my friends that its an everyday thing that changes. The more they know, they more they keep it in mind. For example, I can't sleep cause im in pain right now, and i already messaged my bestie saying 'cant sleep'. I'm just super open about it.
Make sure that people in your life know that your illness has varying states of pain and that there are a bunch of different things that might impact it. Explain that the pain can vary in intensity from day to day, symptoms can come and go and that we often don’t reveal the pain we are in. Be specific. Be SPECIFIC about the pain, each time. "eeurggh today my feet bones feel like they are burning!" We cannot assume they will understand unless we explain it. I always, for example, keep my important friends and family updated after every doctors appointment. I also have brought both friends and family to appointments. This gives them deeper understanding and keeps them up to date/reminded on your illness and pain. Let them know that they can ask any questions, whenever they want, so that they feel comfortable asking you, because we don't want them to assume.
Also, make sure that they know nothing is personal. I think it is really important not to make plans too far in the future and lock it in because people hate it when you cancel all the time on them, especially without a lot of warning, even if you are sick. Even sometimes, my friends will say that they will be going for a swim in a couple of hours if i want to come, and i'll say, let me see how i feel then!
Continue to reassure them its not personal if you cancel, and make sure to say you will reshedule. Don't lie and make up other excuses, just tell the truth about how youre feeling at the time and if you can, offer an alternate. 'Hey i'm not feeling very well, my x is hurting and I don't have the energy to really go out. I wish I could though, I'd love to see you today. Want to come over and watch a movie? If not, can we do it when I feel a bit better? I'll let you know and stay in touch.' and then make sure you do or they will take it personally. Also try to do it in a way where they won't feel guilty or like a bad friend and give them praise when they do take you into account. Thank them when they do what you like. "Thanks for thinking of me!", "thanks for inviting me, i appreciate it". When they offer their help, take it and say thank you!
You also might need to expect that friends might not invite you as much over time because they might assume that you wont come, which can suck and if this is something that would really upset you, make sure you communicate it with your family and friends.
I'm sure theres a bunch of other things but i cant think of much more right now, i moved today so i'm a bit fried and sore but if I do, Ill update the post (see what I did there)
Hope this helps
Hello! I saw an old post of yours abt sex and chronic pain and I guess I wanted to see if you or anyone else would have any advice for me!
I'm unfortunately having a bad flare day- and I think a large amount of it is because my partner and I did stuff yesterday. My partner is very sweet and kind about my condition, and always asks me during if the things we're doing are okay. The thing is, I always want to try even if it hurts because I love doing it and I miss being able to do it without such awful pain.
I can't find a position that doesn't make me hurt a lot afterward. Him on top of me makes my legs and hips hurt (legs in air), me on top of him makes my hips and knees hurt, from behind makes my hips and knees hurt, and forget any of my weight being on my hands. My disability has taken over every aspect of my life and I'm so frustrated. I just want to enjoy myself for once.
If you or anyone else has some advice on positions or pain relief I would really appreciate it!!! Thank you so much 💜💜💜
SEX AND CHRONIC ILLNESS;
Hi, there love,
I swear I have a defective Tumblr and I never get any noti's from my inbox, so I'm sorry if you sent this months ago!
I'm gonna try to give my best advice and hope that my followers will also help with advice.
First of all, pretty much any physical activity can throw me into a flare so I can understand that sex can definitely have a real impact on flares. You are most definitely not alone. I can also empathise with the frustration of your disability taking a lot from you and your life. I am so happy you're partner is supportive too and I hope that you guys are great at communicating with each other about sex which is probably the MOST important thing in this. I am going to give my advice under the assumption that you guys have great, healthy communication.
Sex positions that could be worth a try, it seems as if any stretching of the hips and pressure on the knees and hands are out of the questions so here are not only some of my all-time favourites, but also should be friendly for these issues:
Lazy doggy (lying face down on your stomach with your legs together): that way you don't need any weight bearing on knees or hands, no stretching of the hips and you basically just lay face down, I like this position as it also takes little energy and it's quite easy for you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. you can also try this position with a pillow or wedge under your hips for a different angle and extra support on your hips
Spooning sex: I find this a great position, you just lay on your side, your good side that day, and sometimes putting a pillow between your knees can help with that.
I personally don't fuck with this position but standing up sex facing a wall is also considered to be pretty easy on these joints.
This one is slightly harder to explain (its a modified missionary variant) but if you are laying on your back and you put your legs straight or bent vertically and lay them on your partner's chest (kind of like an L position with the legs up), and then he would be either standing or on his knees (so your partner would be the P and u the L; PL). This means your hips aren't stretched outward, your knees and hands don't have pressure on them, your partner does not have their body weight on you and your partner can hold onto your legs for extra support. You can add a pillow under your hips for extra support. I really hope this makes sense, and if someone knows if this has an actual name, please help!
You could also try a seated position and you could face away from him to keep the hip angle easier
other general tips;
Take MAD advantage of pillows and wedges; this could help with him on top of you if you bulk up on either side of your hips so you don't have to strain or stretch as much.
Rethink your idea of sex: some days there may be no position that is comfortable. Sex is whatever feels good for you. You don't need penetration to have sex. Have your partner go down on you or stimulate you with their hands. If you really like the penetrative feeling, buy some toys and your partner can use them on you in any position that's comfy for you. Buy lots of sex toys, to be honest, that can be super fun and accessible. You can get full pleasure and give full pleasure without vagina/penis penetration.
Something my therapist has taught me is to pace myself and practice patience with MYSELF! I can tell you probably push yourself because you always want to still try even if it hurts. For example, I don't exercise, but one day I decided to go to the trampoline park and do gymnastics (i used to do gymnastics) and then was fucked for a week. Another example, I tried to do gymnastics at home and broke my foot. Just keep throwing myself into the deep end and end up making it worse; 1 step forward, 12 steps back. So pace yourself, and practice patience, and don't be too hard on yourself. Treat yourself with kindness.
I know sex is often spontaneous, but honestly stretching and warming up could help, and maybe even during foreplay, you could get a massage to warm up and connect with your partner. Also if you know you're going to have sex, you could take some painkillers or weed (if you're into it) beforehand.
I really really really hope that a) everything made sense and b) that it would actually help! Please send me a message if you feel comfortable if this helped at all.
Please leave your most accessible sex positions in the comments or reblog with advice!
how many followers do u have?
its just me n u bud
I'm done talking to cis men for the rest of my life
6 inch heelys…..she rolled into the club like nobody’s business….
it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks
why would i do that lmao
it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free
Once my boyfriend told me: "You're not a burden. A burden is something you're forced to carry against your will. I freely choose to be a part of your life and that means you aren't a burden to me." I'm passing it on in case some of you need to be reminded of that.
SPOONIE THINGS NO ONE TALKS ABOUT PART 9
How difficult it is to keep from snapping at loved ones.
When your body is screaming at you, your mind is foggy and slow, your every joint in seemingly endless pain, your filter becomes thin. Your pain is so great that it spills into your words, making them sharp as the pain you're experiencing.
And you hate yourself for it.
But what can you do?
ive had too learn how to create a stable mood and honesty with cclose people, so that i dont snap at them. people describe me as being the opposite of moody, that i am always the ssame level. but, thats because if im having bad days, i communicate that i need to be alone, i cant talk right now, im too tired can we do this later. my friends completely understand but it took a while for us to develop such an honest relationship for us to get to the point where i can be like 'can you leave in 10 minutes', and they understand and its not personal at all. they actually say they prefer this kind of open honest relationship.
kind of sucks having to change your mood to help others tho
People switching lanes without their turn signals are a literal representation of someone who isn’t willing to lift even a single finger to make a situation a little bit safer for everyone around.
Clippy: It looks like you're writing something, I can help make it worse if you'd like?
sitting around wasting my 20s while thinking about how i sat around and wasted my teens
You can’t waste your teens???? You’re a child and should be doing child things. And unless you were born rich, or exceptionally privileged, the only thing anyone in their 20s does is survive. Being thrown into adulthood with next to no guidance and the expectation that you should know how to navigate an entirely new type of life is exhausting and scary. It’s normal for people to feel overwhelmed and lost and to barely function. Our world is intense and stressful and it takes people decades to understand how to navigate life, and that was before there was so much stacked against people trying to make a life for themselves.
