Tonightâs âsomething-out-of-nothingâ meal
Will it be something, or will it be so repulsive that I canât even (former) Catholic Guilt myself into eating it? Letâs find out!
Deli-sliced pepper jack cheese (leftover sandwich fixins)
Various seasonings & spices
Cook the lentils. I used 1/4 of a cup and just fuckin boiled em on a single burner for twenty minutes. Strain, set aside.
Cook the pasta. Ideally youâd use something small-medium like elbows, penne, or (my personal favorite) gemelli, but whatever youâve got is goin in the pot. Make⌠however much you think youâll reasonably eat. Strain, set aside.
Throw some cream cheese into the pot on very low heat. Start with a modest amount (you can always add more later). Stir until it starts to melt a bit. Throw in two slices of that pepper jack that has been sulking in the minifridge alone and forgotten until this fateful eve. Keep stirring.
Throw some seasonings in there. I used garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and a tiny bit of chili powder. Obviously if you have real onions, garlic, and peppers (especially if theyâre about to go bad), those would be primo, but throw whatever youâve got in the pot.
If the cheese starts to coagulate or stick to the pot, add a splash of water. Not too much, just a tablespoon or so. Keep stirring.
Once everything is combined, throw your lentils in there. If the lentils are drowning in the sauce, then youâve probably got enough room for your pasta. If theyâre not completely slathered, chuck some more cream cheese in there. If the sauce gets too thick, add some more water. Keep your seasoning in mind.
Turn up the heat just a SMIDGE, then add your pasta bit by bit, ensuring thereâs enough sauce to cover anything. Like last time, if it looks like thereâs not enough sauce, add some more cream cheese and follow up with water if things get too thick (coward). Keep stirring until everything is combined and roughly one temperature throughout. Plate and consume.
My completely unbiased and egoless verdict:
Pretty good! Definitely best when fresh and warm, but holds up in the microwave decently well. Obviously would be better with milk/cream and butter, but I shrimply donât have any at the moment.