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Whisper Of The Heart Wallpapers ❀
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𝓚𝓲𝓴𝓲'𝓼 𝓓𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮 (1989)
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there is something so pure about rinkitay that just wretches you to your soul; the constant choice to forgive, to turn a blind eye, to sacrifice, because in a world that was unkind to rin, kitay knew that was enough; rin needed one person — at least one person — to be kind.
whereas rinezha was all about the tragedy of how love was there but it wasn’t enough, not when duty holds them both back; rinkitay was all about how sometimes, with the right people, with the soul that yearns for your own, love is enough.
yet in the end, all were doomed by the narrative in their own ways.
i weep for chen kitay, for the future he could’ve had, if it were not for mugen or daji or vaisra or rin. i weep for the scholar that he could’ve been. how tragic that chen kitay could’ve been one of the greatest scholars, writers, philosophers, thinkers of his time — how his words could’ve influenced generations to come, immortalized in time. and yet, he is but a footnote in nikan’s history; a man who chose to follow fang runin to the grave the moment he tied his soul to hers.
i weep for all the chen kitays of the world; whose purpose is overwritten by war, by death, by suffering. how many more thinkers, scholars, creatives, and more could we have?
DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO READ TPW AS SPOILERS AHEAD!!! Keep scrolling right NOWWWW.
Anyway I just wanted to write some tormented older Nezha. Im on my phone so pls excuse the formating. Also i haven't written in years so pls be kind...
Enjoy?
*********
The system of democracy worked. Though people are born, and eventually die, the land survives and moves on. Rivers reroute, vegetation, and crops re-grow with the right resources and systems. It took years of civil war, famine, disease, and bowing to Hesperia to stabilise the 12 provinces before a centralised government formed. Yet, through it all, he is still here.
They now call this period the Nikan Enlightenment. Ironic, he knows.
He is lost. Has been since he silently endured all that fell onto his shoulders at her death. Time has warped and twisted in 40 years of nursing delicate political threads of Nikan and Hesperia. In his waking hours, Nezha Yin only allows himself to remember the future he fought for after the end of all things he believed in.
He is no longer the young Warlord of the past, but now the Emperor of Nikan. The country is not the one she left behind or dreamed of, and every day, a small part of him disappears. His heart has become numb to the endlessness; his way did work and is working. It all feels pointless to Nezha. Whilst everyone else he loved has rotted and turned to dust.
Nezha catches himself in the mirrors as he walks but can no longer recognise himself. He only sees the ghost of his Father, the previous Dragon Warlord, Vaisra. He sees his Father in every wrinkle and in his stern straight mouth. His reflection is a live capsule of his father's disappointment that stares back. He can’t remember what it was like to smile. He looks like the very face that she kissed to destroy.
For years, silently he mourned for his lost family, his friends, his God - her. He once bent water at his will, but now, pathetically, can’t muster tears for his eyes. He consumed the drought from the land to his heart.
His memories betray him, the only thing he has is the stories on the streets. No one talks of Kitay's anxious genius or Venka's skill. They don't know that she was so much more than her anger, her fire. History has written them as traitors.
Are any of their ghosts at peace?
All these years, yet he yearns that he died alongside them. She was his divinity, and like a devout fool to a God that doesn't exist, he clings to her last command.
“Fix this.”
***
In the quietest of nights, where there are no Hesperian eyes or Nikara assassins, he is isolated to his thoughts. Nezha allows himself to feel. What is left in his memories are a drug. Through them, he allows himself a sick fantasy, and a mercy of death.
He transports himself back to when he was no more than a child himself. Back to the white sandy beach of Speer. The place full of death and her ancestors’ bones. He is on his knees with Kitay’s lifeless body at his side and her small one in his arms.
He repeats this memory like a terrible obsession. Remembers the stone-cold terror settle in in his being, feeling her searing heat diminish from her body. He remembers every detail of her familiar blood-red, angry eyes, that he loved so fiercely, fade. He can replay the sound of her black blood spluttering from her mouth to only twist into a nightmare. She then laughs a blood-crazed sharp laugh. Her eyes become as black as her hatred, (did she ever love him?), and her voice blurs with those of the gods he has long since been blocked from.
“Destroy them," the gods whisper viciously through her, choking on her blood that she spits at his face.
She kills him in many ways. Rin will strangle his neck, which she burns to decapitate him. Sometimes she does it swiftly. Other times she does it slowly, so he dies in unfathomable pain. She smiles at him the brightest then.
He paints her vicious, she may blast him, or make his bones crack to be reduced to sweet nothing. She always uses her holy hellfire in his dreams. He begs for the burns to be real. He wishes his skin would sear and melt. He prays for the physical torment to silence his mind in the way that only she could bring. When he dreams death close, he is startled awake and left with his sweat-drenched clothes in the shadows of his soulless room.
He's brought prosperity to the country. Civilians are happy, but the Hesperians are still here. There is still the fight for independence. This fix is not enough.
He knows his living nightmare will not end until Nikan is free. There is no peace in death for Nezha. He will live and endure.
Alone, forever.
Thoughts on The Burning God
MAJOR SPOILERS ALERT!
"History repeated itself, and she was only the latest iteration of the same scene in a tapestry that had been spun long before her birth."
Rin sacrificed her sanity for justice, believing that if she used the Phoenix long enough, endured a little more pain, she can make Nikara into something better. Yet, just like the Speerlies and shamans before her, she is betrayed, discarded, and forced to sacrifice herself.
Instead of continuing her war, instead of fighting for justice, she gives herself up to protect the people she loves. Her dreams of revenge for Speer remain unfinished, her victories meant nothing in the end!! The war continues, Earth keeps spinning but her story, like the people before her (Tearza, Daji) will be buried beneath rewritten histories. Its devastating because throughout the entire book, thats all she's been fighting for; to be seen, to be heard and to make the truth prevail. But just like that, any trace of Rin, Speer, shamans disappear from history.
The ending leaves many loose ends, and I feel like it was intentional to reflect the nature of the story; messy and unresolved, tragically meant to be forgotten like Rin and her people (sobbing as i type this).
There's a lot of unanswered questions to which we will never get the answers to because Rin is gone. WE, the readers, are left in the same position as the generations after Rin. We will never know the truth and what actually happened and that's what hurts the MOST. We're left with the harsh truth where the oppressed are often erased, their sacrifices unacknowledged, and their fight, no matter how righteous, will be buried as time goes on.
In the end, this book was a brutal reminder that history does not remember the fallen, only the victors. Just as what Fang Runin said, war doesn't determine who's right, war determines who remains. And Rin and her people are definitely not the latter.
This series was never about a protagonist who had everything go her way, with a happy ending where she succeeded in bringing change, which is why it got hate. The plot was cruel but realistic which was what made me LOVE this series. Pure agony
oh yeah. oh yeah
"You know, Altan used to give himself wings," she said. "He did? Could he fly?" "I doubt it. They were made of fire. I think he just did it to look pretty." "Well, I think I can give you some functional ones."
Can we talk about Kitay. Can we talk about how he gave Rin wings, literally. How he gave her freedom, power, and joy for a brief moment. And this moment contrasted with Altan, who made himself wings of fire solely for appearances' sake. Kitay is grounded, practical, real, unlike Altan. He is an anchor in every sense of the word. Cut Rin, he bleeds.
tbh i don’t think any fictional relationship occupies quite the same space in my mind as rin and kitay. toxic codependent best friends. magically soul bonded. she wants to protect him. she forgets that she is putting him through pain. he wants her to be good. he forces himself to be okay with so much that she does. they are both so, so angry and so, so scared. they’re just children. they’re generals. he’s a genius like the worlds never seen, she’s a shaman like the worlds never seen, they uprooted the world. he’s her anchor. up until the end they had never once fought physically, not once, not through years of training and military campaigns. not even in practice. she always knew her will was stronger than his. except was it? there was no world where rin died and kitay lived.
❗️the burning god spoilers❗️
the fact kitay died alone when rin was in the arms of person she, even when not ready to admit, loved; when he in fact didn't have to die at all💔
another big parallel between rin and kitay is that they both thought they were so above sacrificing their principles for love. rin hated mai’rinnen tearza for killing herself and surrendering because she loved the red emperor. kitay desperately tried to be morally right even in the toughest circumstances and judged those who weren’t. but in the end they both betrayed their principles for each other. kitay couldn’t do the morally right thing and deprive rin of her power because he loved her too much. for someone who was so proud of his moral high ground, he was so loyal to her that he was ready to let her destroy the world. and even though she swore she would never be so weak to surrender and let her people be conquered, the mere thought of hurting kitay to reach her goal stopped her. it was her love for him that made her surrender. and they both kind of became the things they hated the most.
I lied, put your clothes back on
I'm going to explain to you why Altan, Qara and Chaghan are the characters that were telling us in advance about the end of the trilogy and the trifecta formed by Nezha, Rin and Kitay but we didn't pay enough attention to them
Altan, Chaghan and Qara are the" failed" trifecta
Altan's sacrifice breaks the cycle, paving the way for Rin, Kitay, and Nezha to become the next generation of the trifecta
Each reflects the mistakes of the past: Rin as Altan and Riga, Kitay as Qara and Jiang, and Nezha as Chaghan and Daji, all trapped in the same vicious cycle
In the end, Rin understands that, like Altan, her destiny is to sacrifice herself to break the cycle. Her death, along with Kitay's, leaves Nezha alive and ruling, mirroring Chaghan's fate
In the dynamic of Rin, Kitay and Nezha, it is clear that they represent an echo of Altan, Chaghan and Qara's failed attempt. Rin takes Altan's place as the center of destruction and strength, Kitay represents strategic and emotional stability as Qara did, while Nezha, being the only one left in the end, is a distorted version of Chaghan, the survivor who carries the weight of the world
Rin understands, at the end of the trilogy, the meaning of Altan's sacrifice: not only was it necessary to break the cycle to create something new, but his sacrifice was also an act of love towards her, giving her the opportunity to build a future that he never had. Rin's sacrifice reflects that understanding, breaking the cycle of hatred and revenge that Riga perpetuated in his generation
(I hope you understand, English is not my native language)
I should be drawing I Know...
this is so important to me.
twinkling watermelon headers (3/3)
Ryeoun or Go yoon hwan, Korean actress, 25 years
Filmography: Twinkling Watermelon, adult trainee, the world of my 17, 18 again
Seol in ah or Seorina, Korean actress
Filmography: Twinkling Watermelon, Oasis, Business Proposal, School 2017