Independent Tao Ren from Shaman King ☯ Read rules and verses before interacting! ☯ Penned by: El ☯ Semi-Selective | Canon Compliant | OC and Crossover Friendly | Multi-Paragraph
Indie and Semi Selective Tao Ren from Shaman King ☯ Multi Verse ☯ Canon Compliant ☯ Multi Paragraph ☯ Variable Activity
chukazanmai is penned by the mun El. She/Her, currently 28 years old and the activity varies according to her mood. The mun owns other blogs: shirokodomo (Hakudoshi) | ambertaijiya (Kohaku)
Apologies for the delay on starters, asks and thread replies. This month has been complete hell at work, it was already a tough schedule and this week, without any kind of warning they decided to fire one of my colleagues from the store which completely turned upside down our schedule..so much I don’t even know what’s expecting me as a schedule for the next two weeks ;;
For those who have it, you can find me more at discord. I will be replying things here whenever I can.
@blackmagi asked: I wanna hear the story behind your spike.
The little boy looked over the tall magi towering over him. He hadn’t noticed Judar’s presence until he spoke to him, about his spike nonetheless which almost immediately prompted the little boy to pout and uff, crossing his arms over his chest.
“My spike will poke you that’s what!” surely he couldn’t be taken seriously when his chubby little voice was so...squishy to say the least “You have weird hair too Judar!”
@azureacrosstime sent: “If the reason you’re being difficult is because you feel bad then don’t - I’ll make you take care of me when I inevitably get sick from taking care of you.” (Magi, maybe after Ren's Coma??
Ren groaned as he pulled the blankets completely over his head. Spike being the only thing poking out of it. His head hurt a lot and he really wasn’t in the mood of hearing a scold, he just wasn’t hungry, how hard was that to understand? It’s not like he was starving!
“I don’t feel bad, Towa.” he pressed on the ‘don’t’ word to make sure his point went across “And that is because I don’t remember asking you to take care of them like I’m a sick child. You volunteered for that.”
Her following words then prompted Ren to roll his eyes “And don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t a sickness that is contagious or anything of the sort and you know it.”
Ren’s face grew hotter and more tears rolled down as Yoh held his face. Yoh’s heart nearly broke. That was the first time he’d seen him cry, and it was only for him to witness. Even his voice, always so determined and full of pride, was now trying to hide. And it was because of him.
He was starting to feel guilt — for having enjoyed his touch, for pushing him to this state, for upsetting him so — but he was weak, and melted right back as Ren kissed him again. And again. Yoh’s brain was full of static, fully given into the other boy’s mercy. Ren’s selfishness was making shivers ripple across his skin, and Yoh could only reciprocate by kissing him back with the same kind of urgency and ache, hands coming to cling to Ren’s shoulders.
Because Anna… was his fiancée.
Ren repeated his confession of the most precious of feelings, and Yoh was honored to be at the receiving end of the most vulnerable of feelings of Ren Tao. But grief had already started to set in his heart and his eyes were glassy when he opened them again. He was racking his brain in search for an answer, a way out, anything that could make this less of a good-bye…
Yet it all came to a halt when Ren’s hands went back to his chest. Yoh’s whole body jolted and his breath hitched again. It should’ve been embarrassing to be so easily handled, but not for Yoh. Ren’s touch was something he didn’t want to constantly think about, but yearned for. Now, it was here, through tears and sad confessions, through shared lament and shared love.
Did Ren even know the effect he had on him?
Ren moved his shirt away, covering his sensitive skin on one shoulder, his tears painting the other. The mixture of emotions was excruciating. Then, Ren asked his last question. Yoh’s eyes widened for a long moment, pausing everything…
And then, he made his decision.
Yoh cradled Ren’s head against him, gripped his opposite shoulder, and swiftly flipped to the side, to have Ren against the wall.
“We’ll need to be quiet,” Yoh whispered, meeting Ren with hooded eyes; a fact more than a suggestion. He touched their foreheads together and slowly started to give him his love, to match Ren’s confession in kind.
Yoh kissing him back with as much urgency as Ren had dived into his lips was not helping. Not even one bit but at this point Ren had damned every thought screaming inside his head that told him to stop, that this wasn’t right to go through.
But Ren Tao was selfish and he had told himself this would be his last act of selfishness..at least when it came to Yoh. He shivered when Yoh placed his hands on his shoulders, the sudden contrast of temperatures coming unexpected to him.
Why was Yoh acting like this? Why was he...reciprocating him? This was not how Ren had thought things would go. Was it pity? His own punishment? Or could it mean...
No...Ren didn’t allow himself to even think about it, thinking of the remote chance of Yoh feeling the same for him...brought both joy and pain to his heart.
And truly Ren had thought it would end right there. With his pleading. What he was asking couldn’t possible be something Yoh would truly accept...could it? His answer came when Yoh placed his hand on the back of his head and gripped his shoulder only to flip him against the wall. He shuddered when his back met the cold cement but his golden eyes never left Yoh.
Yoh’s words...and then his forehead touching his own...Ren crumbled again and the last of the tears fell.
As Yoh’s hands wandered from his nape, down to the side of his neck, followed by his collarbone. Ren never took his eyes off Yoh, following every movement he made, every expression.
He lowered his eyes when Yoh’s hands touched his brand new scar, he traced all of its shape and the blush already filling Ren’s cheeks increased. For a single moment he wondered if the view of this scar would turn him off on committing to his decision...and then his lips touched it, leaving a warm trace along the way and Ren sighed of content.
“Yoh...” he firmly stopped the tears that kept wanting to resurface. No more, no more tears, he thought. His head moved down to look at the brown haired boy, eyes shining upon hearing those words. Oh when had Yoh...started to feel this way for him...? When had Yoh become more than just a friend, a rival to Ren Tao?
I’m sorry, he thought to himself, a silent apology. I’m sorry you had to watch me die...
The last thing he had wanted was to scar Yoh even more than he already was. But he had been too clouded and shocked by the discovery of Nichrom’s relationship to the Patch he had killed...Ren mentally shook the memory off his mind. Not now. Don’t think about it right now.
His thoughts vanished when Yoh pulled him to a kiss, oh so deep and passionate as those he had planted on him earlier. Ren tried to keep up, kissing back with as much intensity as he could, exploring the inside of Yoh’s mouth while trying to keep his breathing patterns in check. As Yoh’s arms brought him closer, Ren found himself trapped within his embrace. He tilted his head when the other boy left his lips to bring them to his eyebrow, forehead, earlobe...just like he had done before. But he ventured further to his neck where Ren hadn’t dared touch previously.
“Ah...” he breathed out again, his mind wandering to the many things he wished Yoh would do to him right there and then. But he had to make it slow. Too afraid to ruin the experience, to ruin the moment with his eagerness.
Their eyes met again, Ren thought he could drown in that pool of hazelnut colored eyes and he wouldn’t care. He was far too gone to care about what others would think if they found out Ren Tao could be this enamored by someone.
Yoh’s hands touched the edge of his pants...their hearts beating at the same rhythm, fast, in sync...and Ren nodded just in case Yoh was looking for a permission to continue. His own hands grabbed the edges of the white shirt and pulled it towards the sides to reveal Yoh’s shoulders to him. And Ren kissed him again as the white tie was loosened and the black clothing abandoned its original place down to the floor...
((Fade to Black))
Ren’s chest moved up and down, quickly, head laying on the side and eyes closed as his brain finally sorted out everything that had just happened.
He and Yoh...oh god...they had...
Ren felt his cheeks burning and he knew it wasn’t from the fire burning his entire - currently really sweaty - body. He didn’t think he could put to words what he was feeling right now, what he had felt during it.
He had memorized it all. Yoh’s lips touching, marking him wherever they wandered to. The texture of Yoh’s skin under his hands, the feeling of running his nails up and down his body, the feeling of their skins so close touching one another, of running, grabbing and pulling Yoh’s hair to anchor himself when the sensations became too good and also too foreign to him. The need to call and yell his name over and over again, which Ren had to suppress so no one else would hear them. Of how he resorted to breathing it out and whispering in his ear. And the feeling of their hearts beating in synch. And of their bodies moving together, molding each other.
Only then Ren remembered Yoh was still hovering over him and his head moved from the side to up, opening his eyes in the process. Golden eyes met the hazelnut ones of his. Stedily he reached up with one hand to rest it on Yoh’s cheek...it was so warm...and then a smile followed, small as it was, and Ren looked at him with adoration, with...love.
No...he truly had no regrets.
He would do it again.
Ren half sat up from his position, just enough for his face to reach Yoh’s, just enough so he could kiss him. Lips massaged one another, sometimes clumsily, other times in synch, but not in hurry or in that desperate passion that had taken over them just a few moments ago. Just calm, sweet even and gentle kisses. As he laid back down, the caged arms in between Yoh’s body finally moved and reached up, wrapping around the other’s neck and forcing him to come down to his chest so Yoh could hear it. His heart - which just a few hours ago had stopped beating - was now racing fast against his ribcage and Ren wanted Yoh to hear it.
He wanted him to know what he had done to him.
Sleep was taking over him, heaving on his eyes, the one thing keeping him slightly awake was the feeling of Yoh’s breathing patterns on his chest. Lazily, Ren ran his fingers through the other boy’s brown locks and then he closed his eyes, ready to give in to the tiredness of his body...
...until he heard voices coming from outside the building. Ren’s eyes shot open...shoot! That’s right, they weren’t alone, nor were they at the inn that had been their home for the past months.
“Move.” though it sounded like an order, Ren hadn’t meant for it to be such and if anything the redness of his cheeks..or rather of his whole face was an indicator that it was just embarrassment at potentially being caught in such a compromising position, completely naked...with Yoh laying on top of him.
With his face still very red, Ren grabbed the scattered pants and hurriedly put them back on - on the second attempt that is, the first he put them on only to realize they were backwards -, followed by the shoes. His legs were somewhat wobbly but he tried to ignore it.
And right before their group of friends entered the building, Ren was fast enough to steal one last kiss from Yoh’s lips. Just one more. It was potentially the last one he would be able to give him.
Joco had brought him his shirt, which had been left somewhere by the stream where the fight with Peyote had happened. And just as he put it back on, Ren walked towards the cliff that stood not too far from the abandoned building and sat down on the grass.
The sun was setting, just another day that had swiftly gone by...where many things happened.
Ren couldn’t help yet again the light blush that rushed to his pale cheeks as the memories of what had just happened.
Gripped by the collar still, Yoh let himself be pushed against the wall again, not even resisting the bounce of his head against the cold concrete. He kept his same neutral expression as their eyes remained fixed in the other’s, as his resolution stayed the same; Ren could do anything to him, whatever it took, for him to feel better.
But then, that fury he was counting on, the anger that Ren felt against Yoh’s actions, it just… softened, left him in a breath.
And Ren said something that took Yoh out of the situation entirely. “You are not mine to have…” If Yoh hadn’t been wholly focused on Ren’s actions, maybe it would’ve slipped by, but he had been. His own face gave in, rendering any neutrality null, and instead adopted an astounded open expression, with the speed of a rush of blood to the head.
Shit he was crying.
No, no, no, he wasn’t supposed to be crying! He shouldn’t be crying at all, not in front of Yoh, he-!
Ren hadn’t even noticed he was crying until Yoh reached for him and wiped the tear away. Why was his heart doing this to him, why was he crumbling in front of him now? Ren tried to move his face away from Yoh’s touch but his hands kept him in place.
“Love is a good feeling. You haven’t done anything wrong.” why was he feeling that he had, then? Was it really right to feel like this? Was it right to fall in love with someone he knew was taken, someone he knew would end up marrying the person they have been betrothed to long before they even met?
Why aren’t you stopping me, why aren’t you rejecting me…his mind was running so fast and his heart was beating so hard that Ren could barely keep up. This was not how he had thought it would go, he…he had prepared himself to be rejected, to be told to stop…!
More tears came. Blood rushed to his face. Embarrassment…self hatred…love for this boy standing right in front of him.
“Yoh…” his voice was but a mere whimper, where had the strong Tao gone to “I am…I am so selfish…” Ren finally forced himself away from Yoh’s grasp, except instead of moving away he moved forward to capture the other’s lips once again. Less fiery than the previous ones but still with desperation hidden in it “I love you…and I have to let you go…” another kiss and then a breath from his mouth into Yoh’s again “But even if just this once…”
Both his hands now rested against the bare chest and the contrast between their skins was so noticeable. One moved up to his shoulder while still inside the clothing, moving the shirt slightly to the side towards the shoulder.
It was breaking every part of him to hear Men’s cries and outbursts, how he screamed on the top of his lungs how much he wanted to kill those who had taken his mother away. He wanted to find them…he too wanted to tear him to pieces but he would break the promise he had made to Jeanne and to his son. No more killing. They promised that to each other…they didn’t want Men’s life to be covered by sins and blood like theirs had.
But now…
Ren let Men cry as much as he wanted, let him throw anything at him, any words, any frustrations, just anything. He wasn’t going to stop his son from showing his emotions, he was not his father. But it was breaking him, it was breaking him with how much his once happy boy now had to face this torment of losing his beloved mother who loved him so much.
And eventually they settled things down, talked about the right and the wrong, Men hugged him and Ren let his son see his tears, he had to let Men know he wasn’t being cold towards his wife’s death. But he had to be strong for him…for Hana too.
As Ren finally settled Men back in bed -though he was aware his son wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight-, the Tao knew he had someone else to deal with now. The day was far from over and Hana was also a child who had seen what he shouldn’t have.
He only had to open the door of the bedroom towards the hallway to see the boy and almost instantly a concerned furrow made its way to his features. Hana looked exhausted..of course he was, using those onis to try and track down the killers had completely drained him. Had it not been for Jun and Pairon, they probably would still be looking for him.
Ren wasn’t mad. Nor did he have the strength to be. The concern for both children was much bigger.
“Hana.” he called softly, kneeling down in front of the blond boy, noticing the tremors that covered the boy’s body.
Ren extended his longer arms towards the boy, wrapped them around his shoulders and head before pulling him to his chest. Just like he had done to Men not too long ago…with the exception Hana was just silent, no screaming. Ren tightened the hug, even rested for a while his face on the top of the boy’s head, running from time to time his finger across the blond locks.
A kind of affection that Ren didn’t show everyday but right now didn’t care to even think about it.
“…Xie xie, Hana…” the same words he had once said, albeit internally, to the boy’s father.
“Come..let’s get you to bed.” Hana was taller and by consequence heavier than Men, the five (almost six) year difference between the two being quite evident but not even that stopped Ren from doing the same as he had done with his son previously.
Pulling the boy’s arms towards him, Ren lifted him in his own arms before standing up and carrying him to his bedroom.
Today both these boys had seen and gone through things and a pain Ren had long desired to never see them going through.
It was up to him to keep protecting them as much as he could.
the light trembling of his hands only begins to subside as men’s sorrowful cries taper off into sniffles, no more gut-wrenching yells of murder and justice; only a calm that soothed their souls for the time being, but it certainly did not ease the pain in any way, shape, or form. despite being shamans that connected with the afterlife and thrived in the presence of spirits, death was still a rather difficult pill to swallow. there were too many variables when the soul departs its physical body and while it is a source of great strength, they are also vulnerable and could end up in an asura realm, a limbo, be trapped or controlled.
the lack of jeanne’s presence shatters hana’s very soul into smaller fragments each time he searches for her calming, gentle aura and comes up short. it’s a sickening reminder that this is their reality, and that he failed to retrieve her spirit from her murderers. he couldn’t prevent ren and men from going through the heartbreaking anguish. men was far too young to live through such a tragedy, to experience the loss of a loving mother. his mentor, ren, did not deserve this either. what kind of student was he if he couldn’t put ren’s teachings to use and save them from so much pain?
drowned by his own inconsolable thoughts, the young asakura barely registers ren’s presence until arms pull him into an embrace he was not prepared for nor anticipated. tension crawled up his spine, leaving him rigid in the shoulders as his head rested against ren’s own shoulder. perplexed by the sudden display of affection, hana struggled to make sense of it all as he did nothing to deserve it.
it was ren’s words of gratitude that startled him most, rendering him speechless even as his mind reeled violently. it was as if his rib cage constricted tightly around his heart, thorns growing out of it to stab it mercilessly. he couldn’t breathe.
“ no, ren, i – ” he starts, suffocated by the sudden lump in his throat and his mind fizzles out the moment he realises the leaking tears down his pale cheeks. long fingers fisted the soft cotton of the older man’s shirt as he was lifted into his arms; something hana would not allow under any circumstance, but he puts it down to being caught off-guard. and such self-loathing was brewing deep inside of him, self-loathing for clinging onto ren as if he is his life anchor, when he should be anchoring him instead.
“ she was warm, and i couldn’t find her. ren, i couldn’t find her, and i had to – ” he sobs out, but its hushed, raw on his throat, but he will not allow anyone to hear him being vulnerable. least of all men; he still needed to be strong for him, if he couldn’t be for his mentor. “ i had to, for men, and you, and i couldn’t – ”
Ren couldn’t stand the guilt he had allowed to take over Hana. He was just a child who had seen what he shouldn’t have, who was going through an awful time that he never should have had to face. Ren had hoped neither children would ever have to go through the hardships of life, at least not such painful ones.
Men didn’t deserve to have lost his mother so abruptly like this. Hana didn’t deserve to lose such an important figure in his life.
He had to be strong for them. He was their only pillar now.
Ren let Hana speak, let him say his frustrations, his pain, let him cry his eyes out if he so wished. He wouldn’t stop him, it was better to let it out than bottling the pain up. He knew from experience it wasn’t good to do so.
As Hana spoke, Ren walked with the boy in his arms towards his room, feeling Hana’s hands tightening around his shirt and the tears soaking it.
“Hana,” Ren hid the pain in his own voice, for the boy “It’s not your fault. There was...” no..saying there was nothing he could’ve done was the worst thing to say right now...he had to be careful with what he said “...She was long gone...” it hurt to say it but it was true. And the truth hurt.
“You should get some rest if you can.” he finally placed the boy on the bed, running his hand through his locks one last time “..Tomorrow will be long.”
“I can’t really help myself when he pulls out the worst pun imaginable.It’s not even laughing at the joke, just how it’s so bad but somehow turns around to be good again.” and with that Horohoro also couldn’t help but be a little proud at managing to get a reaction out of Ren. He was always the no nonsense of the group but even with that thought he knew past that outward serious exterior he was like the rest. No heart of stone to be found even if Ren may try to have act like he did in the past.
“I didn’t say mine were off the table, just theirs.”
His smile dropped however at that last response, not because of any “wrong answer” just of Rens tone shift. The latter half of the conversation poking at that inner fire that’s been in his gut, the stress that was built from it. He tried not to show any of that outwardly, but he couldn’t help but express it.
Horohoros hand balling into a fist with white knuckles, a grit of his teeth before breathing in and giving a deep sigh. Not now he told himself…they’re all still recovering after all.
The mention of Rens own death along with Chocoloves made him wince visibly, “I’m just glad you two are back…” was the genuine softer response from him, not elaborating further. But with thinking on the Hao situation he gave a huff of annoyance seemingly throwing out the melancholic mood.
From the outside, at least…
“Gods above, tell me about it. It’s like only one stupid choice on Yoh’s part and he comes in like he has the right to stay here. Like a wild animal coming back to demand food from the humans feeding him.”
Ren stared at the clear sky, golden eyes barely blinking as his hands rested on the top of his chest, fingers laced with one another. Everything still felt surreal. Yes, he had allowed himself to die, truly believing that was the only way he could make it up to Nichrom for having stolen so selfishly his older brother’s life. Despite the boy’s claims that he did not care or that his brother had died because he had been weak...Ren had sensed his furyoku, the killing intent in it mixed with the resentment and...sadness. Nichrom was hiding his emotions behind a facade, pretending to be stronger than he truly was, much like Ren did.
He didn’t see Horohoro balling his hand into a fist but he could sense the change of the mood in his teammate by his voice.
“Horohoro.” he started out, closing his eyes for a moment, having thought about this for a long time but never finding the strength or rather the courage to say it “What you and Chocolove did that day...” he was referring to the day he had died of course “...It was incredibly stupid. Putting your lives in danger like that...” risking their lives for a...corpse...that’s what he had been at that moment...
“...But even so...” he changed his tone from his typical scolding, condescing one to something more soft “Thank you.”
No bitterness, no hidden snarkiness...just a plain, heartfelt thanking.
He would be mocked for this later but he would deal with it when the time came.
“Hao is acting like he owns the place, you can tell even Yoh is nervous about it.” at least he could feel that their brown haired friend wasn’t the same carefree person ever since his (not so nice) brother burst into the inn and very much dropped the guilt of an armada approaching the island on him.
“Tch, damn that bastard, if he thinks he can order me around...”
And he really could careless if Hao was in this very moment hearing his thoughts.
@nijiko-hons-pejis sent: {{ How's your portrayal of Ren is just sheer perfection. You're the first Shaman King blog I've interacted with, and you nailed him down to a T. Lovely work }}
@pureofheartaudio sent: *walks shyly in your ask box*hello there~i saw the meme of "how's my portrayal?" and i had to answer.here goes.i think it is amazing. Tao Ren is one of my absolute favorite characters in anime history. in fact his character was an inspiration for an OC i made and have had for 10 + years. so Ren means a lot to me.the way you write him, is exactly how i see him in my head. even the other verses you have for him pertain to his character nicely. I've been reading you and Yoh's threads for a bit now -I'm blanking on the username i apologize- and they fill me with joy and pain. the way you write him, his mannerisms, the words he uses, down to his inner monologue is just spot on.i would be honored to Rp with you some day, i remember finding your blog as i was like "hmm...i wonder if there are any Shaman king Rpers around here" and i found your blog and was stunned and amazed by the blog itself, the dedication, and stature it presented...just like if Tao Ren made the blog himself.seeing you on my dash fills me with stars in my eyes as i watch from afar. so i hope this all makes sense and that you are having a fantastic day ~~Garnet
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Oh my hello!!
First of all thank you so much for your words, we have never talked or interacted before so it makes me really really happy that you like my writing and interpretation of Ren!
And second, I’m really grateful that you read the threads I write, really it makes me happy to actually know I have people other than my rp partners reading them.
As for RPing together, please feel free to drop on my DMs to let me know more about your characters, I’m sure we could definitely find a way to have them and Ren interact one way or another!
@withagentleheart sent: Is it loving El hour? Good. Because honestly you are an amazing person as well as rper. I'm so thankful to have found you as a writing partner and I absolutely love every thread we have ever written and every thread we plan to write. But not only are you an insanely talented writer who just always knows her characters so well it seems like they are really talking, you are also just a wonderful human being. I'm so glad we've become friends and can talk about more then just out characters together.Don't ever forget how amazing you are!
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Ella you precious, amazing girl you just made me tear up (in a good way!!) I am so glad to have met you and to have become friends with you!!
@oniborn sent: you know i love your ren, but in case you needed a reminder - I LOVE YOU REN!! i love that you stick to his development in the original series and keep his spirit alive in your writing, it's seriously so good and refreshing ;;
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MANAAAAA thank you so much for your words, they mean a lot to me *sob*