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royalhandmaidens

9/11 is coming up - and with it, a sharp spike of anxiety that always accompanies the anniversary. each year our community deals with attacks, threats, even deaths. each anniversary i don’t leave my house. i don’t go to the masjid.

i remember the time someone shot up the side of our mosque when we were inside

i remember the time someone chased two young hijabis with a taser

i remember the time someone intentionally swerved towards me when i was crossing the street and i stood frozen in fear

i remember the time someone slipped a knife threat into my mailbox

or the times my friends and i have been verbally assaulted in crowded public spaces and nobody said a word

call out racism and islamophobia when you see it. check in on your muslim neighbors and friends. refuse to tolerate the bigotry and hate that takes lives and spreads fear - both in public and online. stand united with us against hate.

elvashayam

this graphic by artist @maeril (instagram, twitter), translated by The Middle Eastern Feminist, is a really helpful guide, especially for those whom confrontation is a trigger. it's helped me a lot.

[image description, from The Middle Eastern Feminist's post:

An illustrated guide to help a person being targeted by Islamophobic harassment in the public space (in the subway, in the street, etc). The illustrations describe the steps to help the person to safety. There are three characters: the person being attacked is represented as a veiled woman with olive skin, wearing a violet hijab and a lavender dress, the bystander/helper is a white woman with short burgundy hair, a striped tee and boyfriend jeans, and the attacker is a white, bearded man with hazel hair, a teal polo shirt and regular denim jeans.

The four steps are as follows:

1) Engage conversation. Go to them, sit beside them and say hello. Try to appear calm, collected and welcoming. Ignore the attacker (this is, again, very important). (the bystander goes to the veiled lady and says: "hi, how are you?")

2) Pick a random subject and start discussing it. It can be anything: a movie you liked, the weather, saying you like something they wear and asking where they got it... ( in the illustration attached to this step, the attacker has a big "IGNORED" marked on his body - the bystander talks about the weather, and a movie her sister told her about)

3) Keep building the safe space. Keep eye contact with them and don't acknowledge the attacker's presence: the absence of response from you two will push them to leave the area shortly. (in the illustration attached to this step, the attacker has a big "IRRELEVANT" marked on his body and leaves the area angrily - while the two protagonists chat.)

4) Continue the conversation until the attacker leaves, & escort them to a safe place if necessary. Bring them to a neutral area where they can recollect themselves; respect their wishes if they tell you they're ok and just want to go. (here the bystander lighty holds the veiled woman by the shoulders as a way to show support)

/end i.d.]

royalhandmaidens

i know i told people not to comment on this if they weren’t muslim but i will absolutely accept this addition because it’s generally really useful info to know. this happened to me once and someone used a tactic like this and it worked wonderfully!

in my situation, it was a woman who pretended like she knew me when a man was verbally assaulting my friend and i - she approached us like we were old friends or relatives and asked “what took you so long? i’ve been waiting!”

and just like that, i had an out! the guy didn’t follow when she guided us away, and she stayed by my side the entire time until i had gotten to where i needed to go. the situation was de-escalated quickly and peacefully

i know a gut instinct to seeing bigotry or injustice is often confrontation, but it’s not always the safest response and tactics like this are extremely useful!!!

(however - just to note: if the situation looks potentially dangerous or on the verge of escalating to that level, call the police. there is a difference between uncomfortable comments on public transit vs the threat of verbal or physical assault - tactics like these work well in the first situation, but the second should be treated differently and with extreme caution. never hesitate to notify the proper authorities in situations where it looks like things are getting out of hand.)