Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Starter Sentences (ep.1)
☩ ❝ Hey, _____, do you have the target? ❞
☩ ❝ Well, better take the shot, you’re letting _____ get away. ❞
☩ ❝ Going to miss it! Going to miss it! ❞
☩ ❝ Hey, _____! Hey! Hey, _____! ❞
☩ ❝ There! I took the fucking shot! She/he’s dead, there’s blood everywhere! ❞
☩ ❝ …Oh, you are just a treat. ❞
☩ ❝ Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How did all this come about?” Well, it all started on a midnight stroll through the woods. The air was clear, the moon was full. I was dying to sink my teeth into something. Get it? Because I’m a vampire. Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… It’s funny. ❞
☩ ❝ Everyone else is already dead. Except this little tart. But trust me, I still plan to kill her. ❞
☩ ❝ But before I can do any of that… I’m going to kill you! ❞
☩ ❝ Oh? See, that would be intimidating, if you were… well, intimidating. ❞
☩ ❝ Gr-r-r, are you mocking me?! ❞
☩ ❝ Oh, no, no, no, no, no… Pfft, yeah! ❞
☩ ❝ Well, that should about wrap things up here. ❞
☩ ❝ Oh, yeah. Forgot about you. Sorry about that whole “shooting you” thing, but I know if you look deep into your heart, which is currently all over that tree, you’ll find a way to forgive me. ❞
☩ ❝ Awww, geez, you look like a puppy. A blonde, eviscerated puppy. ❞
☩ ❝ Christ! Fine! I’ll help you! But only because you got nice tits. ❞
☩ ❝ So, that’s your field report? You went on a walk through the forest at midnight. You killed a homicidal vampire priest. And then you turned someone into a vampire, who happened to be a big tittied– ❞
☩ ❝ Yes! It’s like I didn’t just get through explaining this. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got things to do. ❞
☩ ❝ What “things”? You don’t do “things”. ❞
☩ ❝ Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods. Very enthusiastic walks. ❞
☩ ❝ And kill homicidal vampire priests? ❞
☩ ❝ So you broke into the house…and you shot him thirty-six times? …You need to stop going on walks. ❞
☩ ❝ And you need to hurry up and hook up some god-damned DSL in here! ❞
☩ ❝ Ooooh… I’ve never hunted down a leprechaun before. Do you think if I shoot them with my gun Lucky Charms will explode everywhere?! ❞
☩ ❝ Awww, come on! I have to bring _____ everywhere! ❞
☩ ❝ Ah-ah-ah! None of the sass! ❞
☩ ❝ Oh, just try to fucking stop me! ❞
☩ ❝ Second verse, same as the first. Now put me on a plane, so I can put'em in a hearse! ❞
☩ ❝ Hey, _____! _____! This is awesome! You should totally join in! Seriously, there’s like… forty zombies in here! Just one shot to the head and they explode! [gunshot] It’s just like House of the Dead, only like… a hundred times more awesome! ❞
☩ ❝ Fine! I’ll shoot some of the rotten bastards! Can’t be that much fun……Oh, fuck the hell, yes! ❞
☩ ❝ Sweet Black fucking Sabbath! If I wasn’t holding out for that beast of _____, I’d fuck the red right out of those eyes.
☩ ❝ Well… kinda like that, only with less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina. ❞
☩ ❝ Huh?! Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy in here. ❞
☩ ❝ Ah, and look at what we have here? A bloody heathen! ❞
☩ ❝ Excuse me, but I’m a fuck-mothering vampire! I’ve killed a lot of people to get this title. I deserve to be called such! ❞
☩ ❝ Oh, fuck all kinds of duck! ❞
☩ ❝ You have been chosen to reveal my existence to the world. You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later… except you won’t… ‘cause I’ll kills ‘ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ❞
☩ ❝ Oh, my, brilliant speech… and unoriginal. That’s totally from Boondock Saints. ❞
☩ ❝ What?! No, it isn’t! I came up with it a week ago. ❞
☩ ❝ The only one left here is your sorry pale ass. ❞
☩ ❝ It is your corrupt I claim. It is your evil that will be sought by me with every breath… ❞
☩ ❝ Boondock… Saints. Seriously, you must watch that movie religiously. Huh-huh… get it? ❞
☩ ❝ OK, you know what? Fuck it. Knife. ❞
☩ ❝ Headshot. Well, now that that’s over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, Count Cho- ❞
☩ ❝ Well, now that that’s over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal Frankenbe… ❞
☩ ❝ Son of a protestant whore! Well, you know what time it is! ❞
☩ ❝ See… this kind of shit is why I stopped going to church. ❞
☩ ❝ _____…______, you are reading your master’s mind. Put my head between your boobs! ❞
☩ ❝ Now I’m all alone… The only one I had left was you. ❞
☩ ❝ Very good! Now the next thing I want you to do is… put me between your legs! —– God damn it! ❞
☩ ❝ It’s a shame for you lost your head. A careless vampire, who wound up dead. You wore your sin like it was some kind of prize. Too many lies… too many lies. ❞
☩ ❝ What do I do? What do I do?! I… I could try seducing him… wait, no! I’m not an eight-year old boy! SHIT! ❞
☩ ❝ Say your prayers, wee lass! ❞
☩ ❝ That girl belongs to me! ❞
☩ ❝ Well, aren’t you the naughty one? ❞
☩ ❝ Don’t make me shoot you in the fucking head! ❞
☩ ❝ What the hell do you want, you crazy protestant bastard? ❞
☩ ❝ Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy protestant bastard. ❞
☩ ❝ You do know this is a grave violation of our agreement. ❞
☩ ❝ I have no idea what chou’re on about. I’m just here doin’ my job! Killin’ vampires ‘n’ werewolves an’ leprechauns. I never actually found one but do you think if I cut one open with my knife, it would spill out Lucky Charms? ❞
☩ ❝ How the blood-soaked protestant hell did you do that?! ❞
☩ ❝ Fuck you, that’s how. ❞
☩ ❝ You know what? I’ve had enough of this. To hell with all you dirty heathens! ❞
☩ ❝ Eat me! Don’t forget to write! ❞
☩ ❝ No, and that’s final! We’ve got bigger things to worry about. Whoever’s behind these vampire attacks… it has to be some kind of large organized group. ❞
☩ ❝ That would be retarded. ❞
☩ ❝ Gentlemen… ve… are Nazis! Und ve… vill have var! Und ve… und ve… *sneeze* ❞