The Tales of URealms Live: Yumi’s Band of Thieves: The Job
Four rogue’s sit at their camp site, they’re all short fellows, except the excited outcast in the corner. He is a dwarf, Dwarf Number Three, one of the gnomes would barely reach his shoulders and the other two are tiny keens. The fire is barely lit from the night before. The forest surrounds them with only a few paths before them, worn by the travelers of adventures past. Out of the shadows appears another keen. The air feels almost electric as he steps closer to the thieves. It is Nisovin, the great wizard, he has a task for them. One of the keens steps forward, the clear leader, “What has come to pass that summons me here, wizard?” Yumi asks.
“Aw yes, always a pleasure associating with you, my dear,” Nisovin retorts sarcastically. “Now if we could please cut the pleasantries, I do have other places to be.”
“And I’m the coarse one, it must be so taxing to be the all great and powerful Nisovin that hasn’t lifted a finger in years.”
“That was a nasty business indeed, would you lift a finger again if even your pinky was more powerful that the greatest wizard you know?”
Yumi rolls her eyes, “Alright, let’s get down to business; I’d like to finish talking to you as soon as possible. What great artifact must I fetch this time?”
“Yes, so I need a key …”
“Well I have a few here, but I’d like to get paid first.”
“Ah, funny, but it’s a very special key. It’ll be orange as the sun with an emblem of a sun on it.”
“Always is isn’t it, that’s why you keep me around, because I give the easy jobs, not that I pay you well?”
“Where would this key be, dare I ask?”
“Well, there’s a town in a clearing around this forest, it’ll be somewhere in the town, possibly around a guard’s neck, in a pocket, et cetera. It’s the usual with small objects.”
“There’s never anything usual about your requests Niso, you’re not fooling anyone.”
“Don’t … don’t call me that, no one call me that, ever.”
“Fine Niso. Now this forest it’s rather, how would I say it, it’s rather porcy. How can I reach this town?”
“There is a path to the east there, it could work, but it’s not recommended. I would advise you to use the northern path, it’ll go through the forest for a bit, there’ll be a cave and … some other stuff. Nothing to worry about though. If you just keep to the path it’ll be just fine.”
“Which northern path, there’s two? You’re always horrendously vague.”
“They should both lead to the same place, settle down. They almost definitely go to the same place, probably, maybe … anyway, everything should be fine as long as you don’t do anything stupid.”
“Yes, that should be nearly impossible with this merry crew of dimwits.”
The other keen comes over, “What uh, what’re you talking about over here boss?”
“Please, Squinks, this isn’t the time to —” Yumi attempts to say.
The taller gnome approaches and blurts out “Yeah pal, what’s happening over here?”
“Who is watching Dwarf Number Three!” Yumi demands.
“He’ll be fine,” Squinks insists.
“I’ll go ahead and leave you to it, Yumi,” Nisovin says as he starts to retreat back to the trees.
Yumi fills the crew in on the mission, but an almost meaningless decision stands before them. “So which way do we go, boss?” Squinks asks.
“Well, yes that’s the question, isn’t it?” Yumi responds, full of monotone.
“What … uh … did that Nisovin character say anything?” Gracias asks.
“I think he said to go east,” Yumi answers.
“So we should go east then,” Gracias says.
“No! Boss, we need to go north, that shifty wizard was trying to trick us into missing this northern cave, I bet it has nice things in it,” Squinks insists.
“You know, I think he did say something about treasure,” Yumi agrees.
“I think he actually said to head north, not east,” Dwarf Number Three interrupts, timidly.
“Shut up, you stupid dwarf!” The other three say in tandem. “So yeah, we’ll go north,” Yumi assures.
“Which way should we go?” Gracias asks.
“Let’s just go to the left, I’m done talking,” Yumi says, exasperated. After a heated debate, they decide to follow the northern trail. The band of thieves sets out for their latest adventure. Yumi is ready to get this job over with. Squinks has always been Yumi’s second in command and is more than happy to do whatever he needs to do, to protect himself, it’s exactly the kind of attitude needed to survive long enough to lead a band of thieves. Dwarf Number Three, is excited to prove himself to the others on his first mission as the “first” dwarf in the gnome’s band of thieves. Most importantly though, Gracias is just sort of there.
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