Sometimes on guard duty I have to put my foot down about something and every so often the person I'm speaking to will say some shit like "You get off on this, don't you?"
And while I understand they MEAN to say "you're on a power trip" or "you are taking this rule too seriously", I am always, always struck by the temptation to go, "Yep. You got me. All my life I've been slowly training towards the ultimate sexual high of forcing a thirty-something tryhard in a backwards snapback to remove his dad's preowned Ford F-150 from the dollar store fire lane. Nothing revs my engine quite like forcing guys named Dustin to submit to regional traffic laws. Ooh, are you gonna be a dirty boy and leave it idling too?"
fuckin dipshit




















