putain de bordel de merde!

✮⋆˙ certified cinder glazer ✮⋆˙

[cinderswirecutters]

𑣲Introduction ⋆˚࿔

hey! you can call me Elle (like the letter L) and my pronouns are she/her. I mostly reblog/make posts about the lunar chronicles, but I occasionally dip into other fandoms too.

I am feral about linh cinder and that's pretty much all you need to know.

⟢ some links:

tlc fanfic masterlist

my ao3

what I'm listening to

tlc-fan-events

feel free to send me asks or messages - I’d love to chat ♡

⟢ pfp credits: @atlas-spade (check them out, they're so amazing!)

[cinderswirecutters]

bye bye

[gingerale2017]

"Roommates" of a Feather

Summary: Thorne finally makes it back to his dorm, only to converse with the one person he didn't want to see. Masterlist Words: 1.2k AO3 Link A/N: bless my kaiswell heart. oh, and if you love thorne, i'm sorry. he will be going through it for the majority of this miniseries.

By the time Thorne got back to his dorm, he felt like he just finished a marathon. He spent the last two days at his fraternity, more time than he’d spent there the entire month, got drunk both times, was forced to watch over new pledges, narrowly avoided missing the due date for his paper, then proceeded to screw things up with the best person in his life.

Honestly, he felt like ripping open his shirt and screaming if he had the energy. Instead, he folded over his bed, groaning into his pillow. That’s when he noticed the silence. Where was his roommate? 

Because the universe just loved  tormenting him today, Kai opened the door. Wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, he looked like he’d just stepped out of an advertisement. Aces, when did his abs get so refined? Thorne had to keep up. 

The kid’s eyes widened with excitement when he spotted Thorne. “You’re back!”

“What’s up, bro?” Thorne attempted nonchalance, trying not to think about how Cinder had shivered in his arms. Worst Roommate Ever award goes to Carswell Thorne for making out with the girl Kai had been obsessed with for the past three years. Though, of course, it was him who got with Cinder before Kai. 

He eagerly set his shower caddy down and practically ran to Thorne’s side. “I need your help.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me. Let me relish this moment.” Thorne joked, but it felt off. Maybe because he just kissed his best friend! Maybe because he was already thinking of ways to get her to his room without Kai knowing! The same guy who begged for his help whenever she was single! Kai should not want his help. 

“Put some clothes on first, Calvin Klein.”

Kai ignored his request. “I drank way too much last night and I said something to Cinder and I think I freaked her out.”

“I could tell. You slept until it was practically dark out. What did you say?” 

He already knew. Cinder had told him. Then he kissed her. And she kissed him back. What does that mean? Usually A + B = C, but in this case, it equaled glaring and hatred. He may have instigated it, but she returned it. 

“I don’t remember. Not really. Something about Jade.” He frowned. “But she’s been ignoring my texts.” He groaned.

“Are you and Jade dating, by the way?” Please say yes. Aces, Kai, for the love of everything good in this world, please say yes.

Another deliberating glare. Maybe Cinder and Kai really do belong together. Maybe Thorne should kiss Kai to make it even. 

“You of all people should know how much I want to get out of this. I trust you the most.” He paused, as if debating whether to add to his statement. “You’re like my best friend, actually.”

On the outside, Thorne was merely looking at Kai, maybe even smiling. On the inside, Thorne was smashing his head against the wall, trying (and failing) to remove all feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. So he’d managed to screw over two of his best friends today, and he was lying to one of their faces. What a day! He used to consider himself lucky; now he was convinced he was out of stars to wish upon.

“I love you too, bro. No need to get all emotional.” He managed to speak. Then his tongue ran faster than his brain (which kept happening in all sorts of different ways). “Is that why you have no clothes on? Are you trying to seduce me?”

Another Cinder-like scowl. “Sorry, but I don’t swing that way.”

“I could kiss you right now and I think you’d like that.”

“No, I’d gag–”

“You sure would.” Thorne erupted into a grin.

Kai gaped for a second, then recomposed himself. “I actually don’t think I could, given that I’ve seen your ‘friend,’ and it’s nothing to look at. Actually, it was hard to tell what it even was, given how small it was.”

“Aw, you think about me that much? I’m touched.” He cocked his head. “Just like how I’m going to–”

“Ok, I’ve had enough.” Kai turned and walked away. Thorne chuckled and watched him leave. 

“Turn around, pervert.”

“Nah, I like the view.” 

Glare number three. 

“If you wish, but only because I’m your best friend.”

“Shut up. I take it back.”

“No takebacks.”

“This isn’t kindergarten.”

“I don’t care.”

Once Kai changed, he returned to Thorne’s side of the room. “I think I might like Cinder again.”

Aces and Spades, sometimes Kai acted like they were in middle school. “What, do you like-like her?”

Glare number four. “Actually, I don’t need your help.”

Thorne grabbed his shoulder before he could leave. “I’m sorry, dude. Continue?”

Kai sighed, running his hand through wet hair. “I mean, I don’t even think I ever not liked her.”

“You mean love.”

He remained silent, which was all the confirmation Thorne was going to get. 

“Well, you’re an asshole.” Thorne blurted. Perfect example of the ‘freudian slip.’ He knew that from when he’d quizzed Jacin in psychology.

Kai whipped his head towards him. “In what way?!”

Thorne shut his eyes. He remembered how distraught Cinder looked over Kai still being with Jade. The very reason she came to Thorne was because of this kid. Did Kai not know how much pain he was causing her? 

“Imagine how Jade’s gonna feel if you got with Cinder. She might actually kill both of you.”

His roommate nodded. “I’ve accepted that fact, but something tells me that’s not all you meant to say.”

Thorne sighed. Kai was always good at reading people. He always had to be on guard whenever he had to hide something from the kid.

“Well, you’d make Cinder upset too.” He tried to act cool about it, but he couldn’t forget his desire to cheer the girl up while she subconsciously bit her lip.

Kai’s eyes narrowed. “You saw her today.”

How did he know that? “Uh, what?”

“You did. She told you what I said, did she?”

“I saw her, but she only seemed down. She didn't talk much.” No, but their bodies were. Oh, shut up Thorne!

Kai stared at him for a few more seconds before dropping the subject. “I think I’m gonna sleep now.” 

The kid, disheartened, sluggishly made his way across the room. He climbed the cheap wooden ladder to tuck himself into his lofted bed. Thorne finally collapsed on his own with a deep sigh and finally began to unpack his bad decisions.

Sure, Thorne has found himself attracted to Cinder, but he never considered a relationship with her. No–he had. He never thought about it seriously enough to expect a good outcome, however. Plus, he couldn’t tell if Cinder actually thought he was hot or not.

The answer was yes, apparently. 

Thorne shut his eyes, remembering the feeling of her lips against his. The way her fingers tugged recklessly at the ends of his hair. How she quieted his grunts with her mouth and–

“Thorne?” Kai suddenly asked. 

He reluctantly opened his eyes. “Yeah?”

“You’ll help me? Get with Cinder, I mean?” Kai’s voice was small and vulnerable. He could feel the hope behind it.

He gulped. “Yeah, dude.”

“Also, can you turn off your lamp?”

Thorne chuckled but it sounded hollow against the guilt in his chest. “Sorry, yeah. Good night.”

“Night.”

He might be a bad friend tonight, but he’d make up for his sins tomorrow. Now, all he had to do was to get Cinder out of his head.

A/N: fyi, this is how allegedly straight male guys in college act with each other.

Tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @therealkaidertrash21 @cinderswirecutters @cyborgcourt @alsedoesart @asters-28 @sarabankesley @fuck-is-going-on @chronicles-rampion @gaiabythesea (i'm going to be tagging each new ch so let me know if you'd like to be added or removed <3)

[cinderswirecutters]

SCREAMMM NEW CHAPTER ALERT!!

Watching a man, namely Thorne, suffer is probably one of the greatest works of fiction that could exist. I love watching him make a series of poor decisions and feel all the guilt in the world! This is my new favourite trope!! I hope they have an epic fight or showdown in one of the later chapters 😹

Lmao, he's so screwed either way. If he helps Kai get with Cinder, he'll live in regret, have to shove down his own feelings, and probably maintain the world's most awkward relationship with Cinder. But if he somehow manages to pull Cinder... congratulations, you've just lost your best friend. My boy is really in it now! The way you depict all of that conflict through his internal monologue is just CHEF'S KISS. Beautiful. Amazing. We have to put it in a museum.

["Wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, he looked like he’d just stepped out of an advertisement."] Radiant. Carefree. Dreamy. Kai: The Fragrance. Ugh, just get into modelling already, Kai! Now, I know I've already made this joke to you, but I had to let everyone else following our blogs laugh too, you know?

["Put some clothes on first, Calvin Klein."] Someone call one of the tlc fan artists so we can get a Kai (or Cinder) rendition of a Calvin Klein ad ;)

The banter in this chapter was just SOOO good and utterly addictive! You somehow make every interaction feel lived-in. I'm completely invested because the characters bounce off each other so naturally. It really does feel like a real interaction. I knowwww I've probably said this a million times already, but you capture their personalities so well. If you told me you lived inside their heads, I would totally believe you. Like, I genuinely don't think any amount of words can truly encapsulate how much I admire your writing. The drama and tension in this have me hooked!!!!

Trust and believe that Thorne and Kai are both bi; they just don't know it yet. Bromance is alive and breathing, thanks to you!! Well, now that you've written this, you're going to release that Kaiswell fic, right? ...RIGHT?

Anyway, it's always such a pleasure reading your writing, Angie. I eat it up every single time. And I already know your new creative writing professor is going to quit because you're just that good. You're going to end up teaching everyone else how to write banger fanfics instead. In fact, I might have to pull up to that class now LOL

[gaiabythesea]

Hey!!!! Saw that you were taking requests and came her to do just that hahah. But before that!!!! I love your fic's premise and ur writing SO MUCH! It is fantastic!!! And also, ying? Congrats man you made me physically recoil while reading about him gaH. Anyways. Eagerly awaiting next chapters but till then, my req!

Ok so no.1: a teensy jealous kai ficlet/fic if you would be okay with that? I yearn for jealous kai fics lmao. Maybe cinder becomes friends w one of the palace mechanics and he's jealous when they both talk trade stuff in detail- idk. He just wants to share her interests but poor boy does not know the T of technology. Or it could be a modern au! OR maybe during the period where they only have dating speculations and they haven't been official in the public eyes? Maybe there are some rumours of cinder dating some random ah lunar and kai is just back on earth like ":(("

Or! Option 2: kai helping cinder through a nightmare! Or! Phantom pain in her limbs maybe? Smthn like that.

So late but here you go!

Hair Ties and Optosensors

Or The One Where Kai is Cinder’s First Love but He’s Not Her First Crush

“Just put in a ticket, Linh Cinder!” Iko huffed beside her, “Konn Daren will snap my personality chip in half if he sees me letting you into the workshop hours before a press conference”

Cinder ignored Iko, dragging her broken ServDroid down the corridors of New Beijing Palace. “It is too much of a bother to file one. You have to fill out so many boxes,” she said behind her, “This will take me 15 minutes and a power drill.”

“It is cameras on in 110 minutes and you are wearing a cream cheongsam! Your hair is blown out!” Called Iko, “Forget it. I am going to go to the press room, you better be there soon!”

Rolling her eyes, Cinder left her behind and flashed her wrist at the ID scanner for the maintenance wing. The serenity of the outer palace gave way to the hubbub of the guts that ran it. Serv Droids and servants clattered through the rooms bearing fresh linens, carts of food and a million ports in a symphony of productivity.

It had taken her all of two weeks to get access to the area and another two weeks after to become such a permanent fixture that no one spared her a second glance.

Tucked away in the back was the oddest room of the palace. A gorgeous bamboo panelled room with wide windows, delicate coloured walls and rows of messy work benches dedicated to maintaining the hundred of androids that made the palace tick. With her stunning white cheongsam and metal plating, Cinder fit right in.

Kai was convinced that the only reason that the Royal Mechanics did not resent her for her tendency to fix any android in her vicinity was that she was more efficient than a lightning strike. (Unlike he had been with his attempts to help out in the library as a teenager, he admitted somewhat sheepishly)

No, the people in the shop seemed more than happy to have her and head supervisor Leung had even begun to page her for any open tasks at the end of the workday. Just for her to take a stab at in the night if she wanted. No pressure. For her part, Cinder relished the change of pace.

So, Cinder was completely at ease walking into the room - filled with more crates than was usual - until she caught sight of Supervisor Leung signing a port held by a shockingly familiar face.

————-

11th July 125 TE

“Delivery for Linh Cinder”

Cinder looked up from the arm of the escort droid she was fixing up. A curly-haired delivery boy was standing at her shopfront, a teetering cart of supply boxes behind him. The scruffy exteriors clearly marked the boxes as belonging to her equally scruffy shop. Placing her screwdriver down, she made her way to the front of her booth to sign for the shipment. “Are you from Nguyen Hardware?”

“That’s right - I’m the new delivery driver Surya. Surya Krishnan.” Brown skinned and tall, she guessed he was around twenty-twenty two. “Is your boss around,” he asked, “I need a signature from Linh Cinder.”

Her internal tally of are-you-really-linh-cinder ticked up as she sighed and held out her hand. “I am Linh Cinder.”

“Ahh.” Instead of handing her the port screen, the delivery boy - Surya, she remembered - took her gloved hand and shook it with a wide grin. “Nice to meet you Linh Jie.”

Cinder blinked twice, once for the handshake and once for the honorific. She wasn’t used to the respectful tone or the openness of the smile he was giving. A pit formed in her stomach and a warning for an increase in her heart rate popped in the corner of her eye. The prosthetic felt oddly heavy on her wrist as he shook it. Had she not eaten that day?

“Likewise,” she said gingerly, drawing her hand back before he noticed it was stiff metal. She looked over his (broad, she noted for some reason) shoulder at the boxes behind him. “Have you got the magnetic bearings? Nguyen Laoban had mentioned that they were low in stock.”

“He made sure you got your order in first,” he grinned impossibly wider, “Being our most prolific customer and all.”

Cinder nodded tightly, still weirded out by the rapidness of her heart beat. She took the port screen from him and signed rapidly. “Could you unload them out back? Near the shelf with the power tools.”

“Of course Linh Jie,”

Cinder stepped back and watched as he dragged carried the supplies in. Her eyes rested on the brown skin of his forearm for a touch too long before she realised what she was doing. Fidgeting with her glove, she stared outside her booth and tried to ignore the temperature warnings popping up in her retina.

What was wrong with her?

It was only when Surya turned to take his leave and the sun caught his curly hair and his bright smile widened that Cinder realised.

Cute, her mind automatically supplied.

Oh.

Oh.

How fifteen of her.

————-

Surya was nice to her every single time he came to deliver parts to her, always smiling wide. He would chat a little about work and films and ball games. His night college courses. His siblings. She learned that he was twenty one and one of four siblings and he liked gaming. He talked a lot. Cinder was not quite used to it.

She would respond the best she could, telling him about her work and Peony. Casual conversation was a novelty. If Iko noticed her wiping her face before deliveries were due, she never said anything.

He was just a very friendly person, she concluded, watching covertly as he visited other booths around her after supplying her latest parts order. Always grinning and chatting. She often wanted to talk a bit more to him - ask him about the business degree at the night school, ask him if he liked the same rock bands as her, ask him if he remembered her as anything but a regular customer - but the words jammed in her throat each time.

He was just friendly by nature. That was all.

Then, one day, she found herself working on a droid with her hair loose on her shoulders. Peony had once said it looked nicer that way and maybe she was just feeling oddly fanciful that day. The delivery was due any moment and so what if she had just cleaned her face? It didn’t mean anything.

Only, safety regulations warned against open hair for a reason and she soon found her hair stuck in the limb hinge. In her painful tugs to break free, she did not notice a presence until a warm pair of hands stilled her shoulders. The gentle pressure quickened her heart.

“Hey. Hey. Calm down.” The heat of the slender fingers on her shoulders was burning. Why had she chosen to wear a sleeveless top that day? Thank the stars that she had chosen to wear a sleeveless top that day. “Struggling makes it worse,” said Surya, “Hold still, I’ll get you out.”

Cinder obeyed, frozen, as surprisingly nimble fingers made quick work of the tangle.

“There are safety regulations, you know?” Surya’s voice was light and teasing as he finally freed her but it felt like a stab of embarrassment to Cinder.

“My hair tie snapped,” she mumbled, glad her lie detector never flashed for herself. “Thank you.”

“Thank stars you weren’t working on a motor-“

Her heart lurched. Could he mean..

“- we would hate to lose our best customer.”

Cinder bit her lip, shoulders sagging. Surya must have taken it as her relaxing because he grinned and said, “Think you can add in a tip for your delivery boy for saving your life?”

“This isn’t America,” Cinder mumbled. “And I know Nguyen Laoban would be heartbroken if you lost me as a customer.”

“All truths.”

Packing up the shop two weeks later after the next parts delivery, Cinder found a pack of bright yellow hair ties resting on her table.

Oh. That was nice of him.

It was a moment of pure girlishness that made her loosen her hair and retie it with one of her new rubber bands. They were so cute, cuter than the black ones she usually bought at the discount store.

A bubble of giddiness followed her home, a song at her lips from the shop to the apartment. She was still humming when she went to bathe, even the prospect of the cold water not enough to upset her.

And then, while filling the bucket with the icy water, her eye had caught the dull reflection of her limp ponytail in the corroded plating of her hand, the yellow hair tie a joke against the grease and dirt and rust.

Ridiculous.

Stars knew that nothing was going to come of this. It was not as if he would like her if he knew she was a cyborg. He seemed nice and polite but politeness and niceness meant nothing. Who was she to like anyone? She was acting like Peony of all people, mooning over a boy.

At least, she consoled herself, she wasn’t ridiculously in love with the prince like her sister. Now that would have been a pipe dream.

The next time he came for a delivery, she did not bother wiping her face. Her usual black hair tie held back her hair. She buried the twinge in her stomach when he smiled. She replied stiffly at all his attempts to talk to her. Who knew if he even noticed her demeanour change.

It took a few months but the twist in her stomach got looser and looser every time. By August of the next year, he was just a friendly face.

_______

“Krishnan Jun?”

Cinder halted, the android she was dragging behind her skittering to a stop. It was him. He looked pretty much the same, a little older and a little broader. Hair still curly, smile still wide, eyes wide with recognition.

A grin spread across her face before she knew it. “It has been a long time,” she said, rushing forward, “How have you been?”

Her days in the market seemed a lifetime away, memories of a very different girl. Usually reminders of that time made her either hollow at the memory of Adri or sadden at the thought of Peony. This casual happiness was unusual to her.

Surya seemed startled that she recognised him but recovered quickly. “Linh Jie - Your Majes - Ambassador Linh Blackburn! I am surprised that you remember me.”

“Of course I do!” Cinder beamed, thrusting her hand forward for a handshake. “We worked together for so long. You made the deliveries for nearly all of my parts!”

Supervisor Leung was looking between them with a curious look in his eyes. The other mechanics too were turned to them. Surya chuckled nervously before taking her metal hand gingerly to shake. Cinder paused in her rush.

Right.

Metal hand. Had he known she was a cyborg in the before? She could not remember. He must not have. He had been nice to her, hadn’t he? He could not have known. It must be uncomfortable for him now.

Not even to mention the part about being Lunar Royalty with fearsome mind powers who was secretly engaged to his monarch.

Yeah.

Sometimes she forgot that she was Selene Blackburn, saviour of Earth and former Queen, a designation that seemed to intimidate just about anyone. While she remembered him as the same person as always, to him she had undergone an impossible transformation from an awkward mechanic to the most notorious person in the world.

It was a bit much, she knew it. But stars, it was so wonderful to meet someone who knew her from her old life that didn’t absolutely detest her. Presumably.

“Are you doing well,” she asked, trying to put in as much warmth and familiarity as she could, “Are you still with Nguyen Laoban?”

Surya seemed to blink away a daze. “Ah. No. I started my own shop with one of the other guys after Nguyen Shifu retired. None of the kids wanted to take over so we managed to buy most of his inventory.” He puffed his chest a little at this. “We just got a contract for the Palace’s rotor supply.”

“Krishnan Jun runs a solid supply business,” said supervisor Leung, “We are excited to work with him. It is good to have your word of approval too, Ambassador.”

“Oh! A palace contract is a very big deal! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Linh J- Ambassador.”

She grinned, about to ask him (perhaps uselessly) to just call her Cinder when the door zipped open.

“Cin? Love, are you here? Iko and Torin sent me to fetch you.”

Cinder scoffed inside at the familiar voice behind her. Some secret engagement they had when Kai could not stop the informal talk for more than three minutes. She turned to him to respond but she found her lips already tipping up without her permission as she took in his freshly cut hair and navy suit. Damn him for being so distracting.

“Still have thirty minutes left,” she said, “Come here, want you to meet Krishnan Jun - he used to handle all of the deliveries to my booth back in the day.”

If Surya was surprised by her informal tone with the Emperor, he did not let it show. Everyone else around had long become accustomed to them.

Kai made his way over with his beatific Emperor smile. “Supervisor Leung, I am sorry to disturb your peace again. It is a delight to meet you, Krishnan Jun.”

“Your Majesty!” He sank into a low bow. “The honour is all mine.”

“Krishnan Jun is a supplier for the palace now,” she said, “Stars. The world is a small place.”

“Ah - Thank you very much then Krishnan Jun, I am indebted to all who play a role in keeping this palace alive. Have you been in this business long?”

“Not long, Your Majesty. We have been lucky with bagging our orders.”

“He exaggerates his luck, Your Majesty.” Supervisor Leung said. “We have had rave recommendations.”

“I trust you with the best decision, Supervisor.” His polite voice transformed when he turned to her. “Think you’ll be done in 20? Torin’ll have my head if you’re late.”

“I just need to replace her optosensor.” Cinder tucked back her hair, annoyingly bouncy after Iko had gone overenthusiastic with the roller brush that morning.

“What does that mean?”

“It should be quick,” supplied Surya, “Especially if the socket is not fried.”

“No - I think one of the leads came loose. It should be a simple replacement.”

“Is it an RX7490? Because that entire line had a lot of manufacturing defects. We have been recommending using the older RX7400 sensor line until the RX7550 comes along this November.”

“It is! You know, I did read something about a recall sometime last month.” Cinder mused. “I am not sure if we have any RX7400 on hand, do we Supervisor Leung?”

“Krishnan Jun just brought us some!”

“Oh. Perfect. I’ll pull up their spec sheet.” Cinder grinned. “It should be plug and play anyway.”

“Love, you’re sure -“

“I’ll be quick. Promise,” she said emphatically, pushing back another errant strand of hair, “I am going to be done in 15.”

“Hopefully you have a hair tie this time.”

Cinder flitted her eyes away from Kai to Surya who now wore a wide eyed expression that suggested that he could not believe what he himself had blurted out.

“Because of - because of the -“ He gestured vaguely at his head.

Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what he meant before it finally struck her. The open hair. The bot. The hair ties.

“Ah. That time.” Cinder chuckled weakly, already replaying the rather humiliating moment. “You remember that.”

“It had been a bit unexpected for you. You are usually very thorough.”

Kai was quizzical. “Why? What did you do?”

Cinder turned her gaze back to him, dreading the fuss he would make. “I was - um - I was working on a droid once with my hai - my hair and it got - um - caught. Snagged. Luckily, Krishnan Jun helped me.”

“You were working with your hair open?” Kai’s voice was sharp. “Cin, you could’ve been hurt.”

“It was fine! Really. Krishnan Jun, please tell him.”

“It was a pretty risky thing..”

Cinder gaped at the betrayal as Kai placed his hands on his hips, attention fully on her. “Why’d you even have your hair open? It’s dangerous.”

If she could blush, she would have. Eyes darting to Surya, she mumbled, “I don’t remember.”

Kai narrowed his gaze and she blustered, all too aware of the entire room watching him fuss over her, “It was one time! I always pull my hair back. You know this!”

“Where’s your hair tie now?”

Cinder paused. Of all the days to forget..

“Unbelievable,” he muttered, hand sneaking into the pocket of his suit. “Really.”

He opened his fist to reveal one of her hair clips, the golden one Kai had gotten her a handful of spares of. Cinder liked that one, it held her hair back without tugging at her scalp or inviting Iko’s grumbling. And maybe she thought it was pretty…

“Do you just casually carry these around?” Cinder muttered, pulling her hair back and grabbing the claw to secure it. She was no hairstylist but even she could not mess this up. “Happy? I will be safe when I unplug a chip now.”

“Peachy. I’m gonna to try stall Torin for you.” He turned back to Surya and Supervisor Leung, voice dignified again, “I must apologise Krishnan Jun, I have to leave just as we have met. I do hope that we cross paths again. Please give your husband my best regards, Supervisor Leung.” He turned to her. “Remember. Twenty minutes.”

“Honestly,” she grumbled as he walked away. What a weird man. Turning back to her company, she nodded into a short bow. “I must finish up too. We have a press conference.”

“You could always file a ticket, you know?” Supervisor Leung grinned. “We’ve shown you how.”

“Too many boxes.” Cinder turned to Surya with a bright grin. “It really was wonderful to see you again.”

The smile she got was finally the sunny one she remembered. “Likewise, Linh Jie.”

“Then,” she nodded again and made for the bench in the back of the room. “Until next time.”

“Until next time.”

——————-

The press conference went well, all things considered.

Only two mildly ableist remarks about the initiative for Employment Reform for Cyborgs and over a dozen positive and insightful questions. Even her self-tied hair passed Iko’s judgemental eye. Overall, she was quite relaxed as she leaned against the elevator walls up to his chambers.

“What do you think about cold soba for dinner? Cinder tapped the walls idly. “Or maybenaengmyeon? I just feel like eating something cold today.”

It was a Thursday and so it was their night to cook dinner for their standing date in the balcony of his rooms. They had started the tradition over a year ago after seeing Scarlet and Wolf laugh like children while preparing a simple pot roast. It had been their yearly reunion trip to Rieux and Cinder had been struck by the fact that the only activities she and Kai really did together were, well, work. Since then, it was decided. Thursday dinners and Saturday lunches had to be made by them.

“.. or maybe we could pick up some cold cuts and pate for a bahn mi…” Cinder paused in her musings. Kai was uncharacteristically quiet beside her, gaze fixed on the floor. “Kai?”

“Naengmyeon sounds good.”

Cinder frowned. Was his tone… petulant?

She eyed him more carefully, taking in the embarrassed flush of his ears, his foot tapping on the marble floor of the elevator and the tight set of his jaw.

Stars.

“Are you sulking?”

“No” Kai protested. “Maybe,” he relented.

Startled, she let out a soft laugh at his cute pout. “Whatever for?”

He picked at the elevator railing. “You left your hair loose to look pretty.”

“My hair is tied up -“ Her eyes widened and an embarrassed denial left her lips. “No! Why would I - Why - How did you - Stars, how did you even get there?”

“I know you,” he grumbled, “You got that look on your face earlier. Same as when you sneak a bite of the good Artemisian chocolate without me.”

Cinder blinked as the elevator doors opened and Kai strode out. Heels clacking, she followed him into the long corridor to his rooms. “You concluded that I wanted to look pretty from that?”

“I told you. I know you.” Kai grumbled again, opening the door for her.

Cinder stepped inside and Kai closed the door behind them, slipping off his navy suit jacket and draping it over the entrance foyer. “What conclusion,” she called as he headed for his closet.

Even if most of her clothes were there, she still thought of it as his. Those grand rooms were not something she saw as theirs yet. Propriety meant that she technically had her own - much simpler - rooms in a whole another wing but she had only slept there once - the time when he had the flu and she had a visit to a Children’s Hospital lined up. They really served more as an oversized closet for Iko.

“You had a crush on him,” he mumbled, “Didn’t you?”

Cinder burst out laughing. Stars, he was adorable like this. She skittered across the room behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder blade as she waddled with him to the closet. “Are you jealous?”

“..Maybe?”

“We’re engaged!” Cinder hooked her chin on his shoulder and wiggled her finger before him even if the sparking stone was currently tucked away safely in her calf compartment. “You’re seriously jealous?”

“He knew how to change an ophthalmosensor! I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s his job! And um -“ She knew she ought to keep mum but she couldn’t help herself. “It is an optosensor.” She cut in before he could speak. “Kai. Come on. Why are you jealous?”

He took her hand in his and pulled, steady hands guiding her to stand before him. There was something insecure in his eyes that made her pause her playful demeanour. This was not just playful petulance. “Kai?”

“You,” he said, clasping her hands tight, “Sometimes I wonder if you could have been happier in a life without me.”

“Kai-“

“- without all of the media and the press and the documents and - and the hair styles. Just. You and your machines and somebody who knows what an optosensor is.”

His fingers held her tightly as if he was terrified that she would pull away. The doubt in his eyes broke her heart.

“Kai - Love, I was never going to get a quiet life. I am literally a former Queen. I - They have action figures of me. And statues.” She gripped her fingers equally tight. “And I want this, Kai. I really do.”

“You always say your head’s quiet when you work on a machine. I - I sometimes wonder if I am tying you down to a role you don’t want. I know you love me but I don’t know if- if-“

“If?”

“I don’t know if I could ever give you the life that makes you happy.”

The defeat in his tone made her crumble. It was true that life with him would never give her the freedom that she craved. She would never be an anonymous face in a milling crowd. She would never travel the world on her own adventure.

When she had been sixteen, her best hope for a better life had been a mechanic’s shop in a quiet town where no one knew her. After work ended, she would come home to make her dinner, something simple but hearty, something she would eat till she was full. She would then eat in a small room with a single chair at the dining table. Lying in bed alone, she would doze off easily from the day’s labour. The next day, she would repeat it all. Even in her fantasies she had never imagined companionship.

This life must have felt like a delirium to that girl. The fact that she chose it even more so.

Cinder tilted her head. “The life I want is the one with you. I want to wake up with you. I want to sit in press conferences with you. I want to cook Thursday dinners and go for our morning runs and - and - I want to have your babies!”

Kai let out a weak chuckle at that. “You want to have my babies?”

Cinder did not allow herself be embarrassed about her admission. “Yes. At least three. And-“ She swallowed, unsure if her words would cement her churning thoughts incorrectly. “Kai. I want to be by your side. I want to better this nation, this world. I - I haven’t been a sixteen year old mechanic for a long, long time. There is so much more that I want to do and I want to do it as your Empress.”

Kai let out a shaky breath before wrapping her up in his arms. As he squeezed her tight, Cinder breathed in deep, catching his soapy cologne and the fainter, familiar note of his skin. “I know. Stars, I know. Sometimes I just..”

“Spiral for no good reason?”

His chuckle rumbled against her. “Exactly.”

“I love you.” She pulled back and pecked his cheek, glad to feel it rising into a smile against her lips. “Even when you accuse me of sneaking the chocolate.”

The force of his laugh made her shake. “Then don’t sneak it.”

“I do not sneak!” Cinder scoffed. “I just really wanted to eat one the exact moment that you were in the shower.”

“You know, I bet you would never have done this with your real first love.”

“What first- Stars, it was just a crush,” she mumbled, burying her face back into his chest, “And seriously. Did you really get all that from a single look?”

“I am observant… And maybe Iko mentioned something when grilling me about which of my past tabloid link ups was real.”

Groaning, Cinder made to pull away but Kai didn’t relent, pressing her closer even as she muttered, “Hypocrite.“

“He seemed nice. A bit old for you.”

“Not like I met many boys my age.” Cinder groaned. “He was nice. I liked his smile.”

“Is that how I got lucky with you?”

“Partially.”

“Partially?” His tone was indignant but his lips were smiling as he pecked her cheek. “And here I thought it was my persistence.”

“Maybe a little,” she chuckled, “Maybe a lot.”

He placed a loud, smacking kiss on her laughing mouth, teeth clashing and lipstick smudging. “Let’s get started on making dinner?”

Cinder hummed, extracting herself from his arms to get changed into her comfy clothes that just lived in the closet of the imperial suite. Kai had turned away to do the same and maybe Cinder snuck a few glances as he shed the rest of his suit and slipped on his ridiculously luxurious pajamas. It was a nice back. Who could blame her?

“Naengmyeon, right?” She asked, reaching for her hair clip at last, “I’ll go boil the eggs first.”

“Sure,” he said and held his hands out, “That’s mine.”

Cinder paused. “My.. hair clip?”

“Yes.”

“O-kay.” She narrowed her eyes at him again but handed him the clip anyway. He stalked right over to his suit for the next day and tucked it inside. “Do you do this everyday?”

“Yes.”

What a weird man.

“Why?”

“Torin got annoyed with me wearing your rubber bands on my wrist.”

“Then why the clip?”

“Iko got concerned about you developing traction alopecia because of the rubber bands.”

Cinder snorted hard. She had been on a hair tie ban for three months after Iko discovered some breakage at her left temple from wearing the hair tie in the mechanics shop. The hair clips had been a compromise, a compromise that she quite enjoyed. “I am surrounded by madmen obsessed with my hair ties.”

“You know, say what you want, I’m the only boy to buy you pretty things for your hair.”

Cinder paused and stood stock still, saying nothing.

“Cinder?”

“I - I should go boil the eggs.”

“Cinder,” Kai called after her uselessly, “Cinder!” Cinder had longer skittered away to their kitchen.

[cinderswirecutters]

This was such a good read!! 💗💗💗

Although it's probably just a minor detail, I audibly gasped when I read "Surya Krishnan." Like, okay, I see my fellow brown person. South Asians are so underrepresented in media, so I was really happy to see that ;)

Even though we've only met your OC briefly, I'm already so curious about him! What was his reaction to finding out that Cinder is a cyborg, and on top of that, Lunar? Did he miss her? Is he in a relationship with someone else? Sooo many questions! I really hope we get to see him again in another fic!!!!

I also just adore jealous Kai! He's so cute! What do you mean the literal emperor, and probably the hottest guy alive, is jealous of some random guy who's too old for Cinder anyway?! That said, I think his insecurities are completely understandable. He might not know all the technical mechanic terms or be able to promise Cinder a quiet life, but he understands and loves her regardless of her cyborg or Lunar identity, and irrespective of her titles.

...And he's far more age-appropriate lol.

Cinder calling Kai "a weird man" is my favourite thing ever now. He may be pretty, but he's also just a silly little dork in love. And him always keeping a hair clip on him just in case she needs one?? 🥹

["The next day, she would repeat it all. Even in her fantasies she had never imagined companionship."] This line almost made me sob. It always hurts when I remember that Cinder probably never allowed herself to dream that big. It was so cool to see pre-Cinder Cinder, you know? Yes, she's tough and badass and everything in between, but she's also just a teenage girl. It was so adorable watching her slowly realize she had a crush, but just as heartbreaking to see her stop herself from fully acknowledging those feelings because of what she hides. I'm just so happy she gets to live her best life now.

I've noticed this in your other works too, but I really love how you weave little parts of their culture and language into your writing. It adds so much richness to the world and fills in details I always wished we'd seen more of in the books!

[gingerale2017]

Chapters: 3/8 Fandom: Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Kai/Linh Cinder, Linh Cinder/Carswell Thorne, Linh Cinder & Carswell Thorne, Crescent Moon “Cress” Darnel/Carswell Thorne, Scarlet Benoit/Wolf | Ze'ev Kesley, Jacin Clay/Winter Hayle-Blackburn, Iko & Linh Cinder Characters: Kai (Lunar Chronicles), Linh Cinder, Carswell Thorne, Scarlet Benoit, Wolf | Ze'ev Kesley, Jacin Clay, Winter Hayle-Blackburn, Iko (Lunar Chronicles), Crescent Moon “Cress” Darnel Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, Yearning, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, Implied/Referenced Cheating, okay not actually cheating but like some would say, Miscommunication, Kissing, Mistakes, Drama, Heartbreak, Dating, Alternate Universe - College/University, Screaming, Slow Burn, actually nah, what’s the word for realizing you’re in love with someone else by being with someone else?, happens TO both characters, Friendship, Platonic Relationships, sigh Series: Part 1 of College is for Mistakes and Success Summary:

Although Cinder is a bright young woman, she too can make mistakes. Yet, the worst ones somehow leads to a brighter path of success, even if the journey is chaotic and, well, messy. Don’t follow in her footsteps and define your feelings before you act, unless you want to end up sailing out into the dark see with map nor light to guide you. OR, Cinder kisses the wrong guy and ends up finding who she really likes because of it… not without drama, of course!

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[gingerale2017]

if cinder is mcr, kai is p!atd

if cinder is ptv, kai is evanescence

if cinder is nirvana, kai is the cure

[cinderswirecutters]

Not this guy again /j

Hardy har har

[thickness-protection-program]

I'm probably someone's "not this guy again" on Tumblr

[tlc-fan-events]

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬! 💛

Welcome to TLC Fan Events' fourth event! Over the next couple of days, we'll be celebrating the birthdays of everyone's favourite blondes: Jacin (our nonchalant king) and Cress (our incredible hacker queen)! This event will run from July 16th - 24th.

All contributions are welcome! Whether it’s fanfiction, fanart, music, cosplay, or anything else you’re inspired to create. We’d love to see it.

Please note: the prompts are simply suggestions meant to spark creativity. You can follow them as closely or as loosely as you’d like. There are no limits!

Here are this year’s prompts:

✦ Thurs: Jacin's Birthday Bash! (Not his actual birthday, but close enough)

↳ Celebrate Jacin's unofficial birthday! Show him celebrating, receiving gifts, spending time with friends, or maybe he even cracks a smile for once!

✦ Fri: Family Friday

↳ Show Jacin and Cress spending time with the families we love - found, chosen, or by blood.

✦ Sat: Cress' Birthday Bash!

↳ It's Cress' turn to celebrate! How would she party?

✦ Sun: Blond(e) Day

↳ Put Jacin and Cress together in any context! Friends, allies, family, romantic partners - anything goes!

✦ Mon: Rarepair Monday

↳ Pair up Jacin or Cress with someone else. Show some love to underrated romantic pairings that deserve a little more attention.

✦ Tues: Angst Tuesday

↳ Bring on the heartbreak! Explore hurt/comfort, emotional turmoil, bittersweet endings, or all the delicious angst in between.

✦ Wed: Wedding Wednesday

↳ Wedding bells are ringing! Create something inspired by proposals, weddings, anniversaries, or happily ever afters.

✦ Thurs: The Programmer's Playlist / The Royal Guard's Playlist

↳ Build a playlist or create something inspired by music that captures Cress' or Jacin's energy.

✦ Fri: Fluffy Friday

↳ Sweet, wholesome, and comforting. Share your fluffiest creations and give everyone a reason to smile.

To make sure we see and reblog your contributions, please use the tags #TLCFanEvents, #HBDJacin&Cress, and #HBDBlondies, and tag @tlc-fan-events on your post!

For more information, check out our FAQ & Rules page.

Psst! Still have questions? Feel free to send us an ask, and one of our mods will get back to you as soon as possible!

[cinderswirecutters]

Music that reminds me of Kaider

pt. 2

✩ Watch by Billie Eilish

↳ "When you close your eyes, do you picture me? / When you fantasize, am I your fantasy?"

✩ Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya

↳ "No one can say what we get to be / So why don't we rewrite the stars?"

✩ Wonderwall by Oasis

↳ "Because maybe / You're gonna be the one that saves me / And after all / You're my wonderwall"

✩ Lovesong by The Cure

↳ "However far away / I will always love you / However long I stay / I will always love you / Whatever words I say / I will always love you"

✩ Slut! by Taylor Swift

↳ "Everyone wants him / That was my crime / The wrong place at the right time / And I break down, then he's pullin' me in / In a world of boys, he's a gentleman"

✩ stupid song by Olivia Rodrigo

↳ "You should feel how I feel / When somebody says your name"

✩ everything i wanted by Billie Eilish

↳ "And you say, 'As long as I'm here / No one can hurt you [...] / If I could change / The way that you see yourself / You wouldn't wonder why you hear / They don't deserve you'"

✩ A Pearl by Mitski

↳ "Sorry, I don't want your touch / It's not that I don't want you"

part 1

[cinderswirecutters]

Random Acts of Intimacy I like to Imagine with Kaider

Inspired by these posts: 1 2

Kai wordlessly draping his blazer around Cinder's shoulders after a fancy event to keep her from getting cold.

Cinder ruffling Kai's hair every morning before getting up to brush her teeth.

Holding each other's hands while sleeping after one of them has a nightmare.

Kai kissing Cinder's scars and metal parts every chance he gets.

Kai carrying Cinder to their bed when she falls asleep on the couch.

Them playing footsies under the table.

Cinder fixing Kai's tie or collar before a big meeting.

Kai fixing a strand of hair poking out from Cinder's head.

Touching foreheads.

Cinder updating Kai's port without being asked because she knows he's bad with technology.

When one of them is in the way, the other grabs their shoulders to gently nudge them to the side.

Kai's a tea drinker. Cinder prefers coffee. When Kai is particularly stressed, he will take her cup without permission and chug it down.

Kai makes Cinder a new type of tea every morning to get her to switch sides.

They always somehow wake up with tangled limbs.

One time, Cinder records Kai snoring.

Whenever they sit on a couch, Kai always makes sure to put an arm behind Cinder so that her neck doesn't strain.

Kai lowering the temperature by a lot on a particularly hot day on purpose so they can still cuddle.

Leaving each other handwritten notes on each other's desks.

Kai fussing over even the smallest of injuries (i.e. a papercut) and insisting he bandage it up.

Cinder placing cool cloths on Kai's forehead when he's sick with a fever.

Kai playing with Cinder’s hair (i.e. braiding it, absentmindedly twisting strands) whenever they’re close.

When Kai has a stressful day, Cinder allows him to rest his head on her lap while she strokes his hair.

Kai zips up Cinder's dresses. Always.

Cinder helps Kai shave.

Kai replacing Cinder’s flowers on her desk right before they fully wither.

Accidentally making eye contact in a large room, but the other one starts smirking, and now they're both flustered.

They love sharing clothes (or Cinder loves stealing his). She will wear his hoodies, shirts, and button-downs, and Kai genuinely starts to wonder why his garments keep going missing. But then he sees her wearing them, and he smiles.

One time Cinder decides to wear Kai's button-down (they're pretty similar in size, so it's not too baggy on her), and an interviewer asks where she got it from, and she's like, "My husband's closet."

Cinder often has trouble sleeping. In those moments she goes out to sit on their balcony, not wanting to wake up Kai. He notices anyway and brings their blanket outside to drape it around them. They fall asleep there.

Kai likes to wash Cinder's hair.

Cinder holding his hand to stop him from clawing at it.

They like to play video games together on their free days, except Kai's not very good at them and loses to Cinder every time.

Cinder's always ready to physically defend Kai.

Cinder isn't usually the first to initiate intimacy (she grows more comfortable with this over time). In one of their early days of marriage, she puts an arm around Kai while sleeping. His heart warms so much that he almost stops breathing, afraid that even the littlest of movements would cause her to shift.

Dancing in the rain.

Kai murmuring reassurances in her ear during diplomatic events when she feels overstimulated.

[fairycosmos]

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

[cinderswirecutters]

Not to be a silly goose over here, but before they would take initiative to go to the clinic, would that mean they were just banging 👁️👄👁️ ? Impossiblesuitcase and another anon who sent her an ask also discussed how they think they’d have at least one surprise / unexpected pregnancy. Now THAT’S it. I see you little freakies, kaider

Um no. To get pregnant, you actually have to stare into your partner's soul at 3AM and chant "labubu tung tung tung sahur" 100 times. If that doesn't work, then you pay a visit to the doctor. Hope this helps!

[cinderswirecutters]

hiiiii i'm the anon from @asters-28's blog who was looking for that text post. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO much for finding it!!!!! i love you forever

NO PROBLEM!!! Love you forever too anon! 🫰

[cinderswirecutters]

Craters

Masterlist | AO3

“She moved his hand lower, toward her thigh, biting her lip hard enough to sting. Under different circumstances, she was fairly certain this would have been considered some sort of sexy gesture.”

Summary: On their wedding night, Cinder discovers that some things are harder to do than say "I do." (WC: 3.3k)

Warnings: rated mature, suggestive language.

The clasp of her earring snagged against her lobe, refusing to come loose no matter how hard Cinder tugged. 

A warm breath skimmed the back of her neck, scattering her focus. Right. That didn’t help. This wouldn’t be the first time Kai had managed to ruin her concentration just by existing in the same general proximity. Her pulse jumped as he somehow managed to get closer to her from behind, her interface already sending warnings across her retina to slow down her breathing. 

1… 2… 3… Breathe.

Slow and steady.

Be normal. Be cool. Stop overthinking, she told herself. Normal was subjective anyway, and she had never been particularly good at it. 

Again, she tried to unfasten the earring, but her metal fingertips, combined with her nerves actively staging a coup and the champagne still lingering in her system, made the simple task far more difficult than it should have been. Cinder had never been much of a drinker, but every time she'd emptied one glass, Thorne had somehow appeared with another, waggling his stupid eyebrows. Not that she'd exactly put up much of a fight. Deep down, a part of her hoped the intoxication would help make the rest of the night easier. 

Now she wasn’t sure if it had helped at all.

A soft kiss brushed against her throat. Cinder froze. Then he added another. And another. Slowly, Kai trailed kisses up her neck, pressing against her skin until he reached her jaw. Her knees threatened to buckle, but his hold steadied at her waist, one hand sliding to her arm to keep her upright.

“Kai…” she choked out, catching his wrists and pulling him back with whatever remaining dignity she had left.

He paused just long enough for her heartbeat to catch up with her. At last, Kai leaned in close, his voice warm against her ear. “Do you need help?” 

Cinder forgot, for one spectacularly embarrassing second, that she was still wrestling with the piece of jewelry. Her traitorous brain had supplied several other interpretations before finally landing on the correct one. The earring. 

A quick rasp of her throat did little to steady her pulse before her eyes flew to the mirror, catching their reflection in full wedding finery. The gown tugged and clung at her hips, chest, and shoulders. It was a suffocating weight compared to the easy familiarity of grease-stained cargo pants. Layers of fabric and embroidery draped over metal limbs that, at one point, she’d spent every waking hour to hide. The woman in the mirror looked every bit the Empress the Eastern Commonwealth had imagined. 

She still wasn’t entirely convinced they had the right person. Years ago, she would’ve laughed if someone had told her metal and silk could belong together. But tonight, against all reason, they almost did. Almost.

When he caught her gaze in the mirror, a small smirk played at his lips as if he knew what he was doing. As if he knew how easily he could unravel her. She stared back. One second. Two. Then she’d lost count. Long enough to forget that he had asked her a question at all.

Real smooth.

“Yes,” she croaked at last, dragging her tongue across her dry lips in a futile attempt to ground herself. The single word came out far more breathless than she’d intended.

Warm hands slipped around her waist as Kai rested his chin against her shoulder. It was honestly irritating how composed he looked. She knew him well enough to know it was mostly an act, but that didn’t make it any less unfair. Meanwhile, her interface was still politely reminding her of her elevated heart rate.

Kai’s smile deepened. “Need help with the earring,” he clarified, amusement threading through his voice.

Heat climbed her neck. A useless physical reaction, considering her face wasn’t exactly capable of giving her away. She hated that her body continued to have opinions about things.  “...You knew what I meant.”

One eyebrow lifted. “Did I?”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re enjoying this far too much.”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted. 

“Jackass.”

“You know, you’re very cute when you’re trying to convince me you’re not flustered.” He grinned, entirely unrepentant.

She crossed her arms. It was getting too hot in this room. “I am not flustered." Her interface chose that exact moment to flash: 

ADRENAL RESPONSE ELEVATED.

STRESS INDICATORS ABOVE BASELINE.

RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION: SLOW, MEASURED BREATHS. BEGIN COUNTING: 1, 2, 3…

Not again. 

She dismissed it before Kai could notice. Or so she thought. 

The corner of his mouth twitched. He covered it with one hand, which would have been more convincing if his shoulders weren’t shaking by the laughter escaping through his fingers.

“...Don’t say a word.”

Kai lifted his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t going to.”

A flash of orange crossed her vision. “Liar.”

Kai let out a boyish chuckle that made it impossible to stay annoyed with him before reaching up to gently unfasten the earrings as she turned to face him. But her gaze stayed fixed on the mirror in what was now their bathroom.

Emperor and Empress. Husband and Wife. 

His brows pinched together as he worked at the clasp, careful not to catch her skin. The sight of them—an emperor painstakingly removing her earrings at the end of their wedding night—felt incredibly unreal. A cyborg girl married to an emperor. Not just any emperor. Kai. Her Kai.

“For the record, I can’t actually see what your retina is saying.”  

Cinder relaxed for a moment. Just a little.

“But your face does this thing—”

She immediately regretted relaxing. 

“Ow!” she gasped all of a sudden, interrupting his little speech.

Kai halted. “Shit. Sorry, sorry. Did that hurt? I’m sorry.” Before she could answer, he started blowing against her ear.

A very unlady-like snort escaped before she could stop it. “Why the fuck are you blowing on my ear? It’s not on fire!”

“Wow. Stars forbid I try to take care of my wife.” He rolled his eyes, reaching for the other earring. “But that’s how I know,” he continued. “The little things.”

Cinder stilled.

“The way your fingers twitch when you’re nervous. The way you bite your lip when you’re trying not to say something. The way you pretend you’re completely fine when you’re very obviously not.”

Silence.

She had spent years learning how to hide. Learning how to make herself smaller. Easier to overlook. Easier not to question. Somehow, Kai had done the opposite. He had spent years learning how to find her. “You notice me that much?”

His expression softened.  “Always.”

The word settled somewhere deeper than she expected. Her eyes wandered, suddenly unable to meet his. She focused on anything else—the lavish, comically oversized bathtub, the candles flickering around the room, the neatly arranged soaps she had no idea how to use without feeling like she was wasting them. Anything but him. “What else do you notice?”

Setting the earrings aside on the bathroom counter, Kai turned back to her, brushing his thumb over her lower lip as he forced her to meet his eyes.

“I noticed that you spent the entire day pretending you weren't overwhelmed, and somehow still managed to be incredible and—”

Cinder raised an eyebrow this time. “There’s an and?”

“And badass.” His mouth found the curve of her neck. He loved that damn neck didn’t he?

“And hot.” Another kiss, this one grazing her jaw.

He paused then, looking up at her—really looking—and leaned in close enough that her breath caught. Close enough that if he didn’t close the gap soon, her entire system might shut down in protest.

“And,” he murmured, “not to mention incredibly sexy. Though I’m fairly certain you already know that.”

“I absolutely do not,” she mumbled, because apparently arguing with the man who had just spent five minutes telling her how beautiful she was was easier than accepting the compliment.

Kai hummed, the sound full of amusement. “You should.”

Finally—finally—their lips met.

The kiss was fast, urgent, nothing like their usual tender, unhurried ones. Her hands tangled in his hair; his found her waist. It felt like everything they hadn’t said, every moment apart, every almost, poured into that single breathless instant. A sound slipped free—hers, his, she couldn’t tell. He guided her back against the counter, one hand steady at her waist, careful of the layers of fabric around her feet.

Both were breathless by the time they pulled apart. Kai’s carefully styled hair stuck out at odd angles now, and Cinder could already feel the relief of loosened pins at her scalp. He looked at her like he was staring at a night sky full of stars instead of standing inches away. It was ridiculous. Impossible. But sort of… adorable.

“You look like a real Empress, Cinder.”

“Pffft.”  She shook her head. “You’re just saying that.”

“No,” he assured. “I’m not.”

She looked away first, releasing a deep breath. Her hands trembled, and she curled them into fists, hoping Kai hadn’t noticed. Which was stupid; he’d made it clear that he always noticed.

The wedding. The ceremonies. The coronation. The endless pairs of eyes watching her every move. It had all been chaotic and unnerving. Now that it was finally over, all she wanted was to be on her honeymoon in Europe with Kai, tucked away in some serene cottage where the loudest thing around them was the wind through the trees.

“Um, Cinder—”

She blinked, dragged back to the present. Kai ran a hand through his hair, suddenly looking almost sheepish.

“I, uh... need to pee.”

Her brain caught up a second later. 

“Right.” She stumbled over the discarded heels by the counter, catching herself against the doorframe before Kai could blink. “I’ll just—” she pointed vaguely behind her with her thumb. “Yeah.”

Then she slipped out, pulling the door shut behind her. Biting the inside of her cheek, Cinder made her way toward the balcony, desperate for fresh air. 

She braced herself against the rail, dropping her head into her hands. The cool metal of her cyborg palm pressed against her temple, sending chills through her body. The cool night air should have calmed her, but all she could feel were the places Kai had touched—her waist, her throat, the line of her jaw—each one still burning against her skin. The way he had looked at her like she was something worth admiring. She wanted to stop hesitating and just let herself have this. 

But—  

Cinder cut the thought off before it could finish.

Sighing, she turned up the music in her interface. Maybe some loud, moody rock could drown out the thoughts she was determined not to have.

Probably not, but it was worth a try.

Fireworks burst over the palace gardens, bright enough to paint the city gold. Somewhere below, crowds cheered for the new royal couple.

Her fingers drifted to the edge of her bodice, tracing where silk covered scarred skin that stretched much, much deeper and twisted. Logically, she knew Kai wouldn’t love her any less when he saw them. 

But logic had never been particularly good at fighting old memories.

The same fear that sat heavy in her chest now had been present years ago—the first time Adri had bathed her after arriving in the Eastern Commonwealth. Back when Cinder was still learning how to walk with her new leg, and still struggling to recognize the girl staring back at her in the mirror.

Adri had looked at her scars and then she had looked at Cinder.

“Ugly.”

The word had stuck.

“No guy will want a girl with scars.”

Cinder swallowed, the memory sharper than she expected. She hadn't realized how much those words had affected her until now.

Kai had already seen her naked in so many ways that didn’t involve taking off her clothes. He knew every ugly memory she carried—the nursery where she nearly burned to death, Adri, the bunker where her life changed forever. He knew the fears she rarely admitted even to herself. 

He knew her.

But not this.

Not the parts of herself she had spent years hiding.

It wasn’t intimacy or sex that frightened her. They had talked about that before—briefly at first, then more seriously, despite the awkwardness between two people who had never been normal about anything. It was what came before. Standing in front of him with nowhere left to hide. 

The balcony door slid open behind her. Footsteps crossed the stone before stopping beside her. She muted the music.

“You know,” Kai said, “most people wait until after the honeymoon to start running away.”

Cinder turned, bracing her back against the railing. “What? Did you think I’d just casually throw myself over the balcony and miraculously survive fifty feet?”

Kai leaned forward on the rail beside her. “Well,” he breathed, crossing one arm over the other, “it wouldn’t be the first time.”

A brief laugh slipped out of both of them. Some of the tightness in her chest eased. 

“Cin—” he started, then stopped, like he was trying to piece the words carefully together. 

That alone made her glance over. Kai never struggled for words. Not with speeches, not with diplomacy, not with charming entire rooms full of people.

But with her, sometimes he did.

“We don’t have to do anything tonight. Not because it’s our wedding night. Not because people expect something from us. Not because anyone is waiting for us to prove anything. I mean—” He huffed out a nervous breath, his fingers tapping nervously against the railing. “I’m nervous too, okay? Probably more nervous than I should admit, considering I’m the emperor and all, but—”

Before he could keep going, Cinder grabbed him by the collar and kissed his lips. It was short, a little more than a peck—just enough to stop him from spiraling. When she pulled away, she confessed, “You were talking too much.”

A small smile pressed Kai’s lips, but the worry stayed in his eyes.

“Look, Kai. It’s not...” The words refused to come. Deciding against them altogether, she took his hand and placed it over her bodice.

His expression shifted immediately, his breath catching.

“The scars here are darker,” she said at last. “The skin is rougher than the rest. Skin grafts only do so much.” 

Her fingers tightened over his. “When I was younger, I used to pick at them without realizing it. Sometimes until they hurt. I don't do that anymore,” she added quickly. “I swear. It just... sometimes it still aches when I move the wrong way.”  

His jaw tightened, his eyes shining.

She moved his hand lower, toward her thigh, biting her lip hard enough to sting. Under different circumstances, she was fairly certain this would have been considered some sort of sexy gesture. This wasn't exactly how most people imagined spending their wedding night.

Somehow, that made her feel worse. A headache was already starting to bloom behind her eyes.

“That’s where it's the worst,” she admitted quietly. “Sometimes I can’t even look at it.”

Kai caught her wrist before she could move his hand any farther, turning beneath hers until he was holding it instead.

She froze.

“You keep talking about them like they’re something I should be afraid of.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“Cinder.”

The way he said her name made her look at him.

“I’ve been afraid for you.” His thumb brushed over her knuckles. “ Never of you.”

Neither of them moved for a couple heartbeats. Cinder wasn't sure what she expected to see on his face.

Discomfort?

Hesitation?

Something. Anything.

But there was only Kai.

Then he pulled her into a tight hug.

She hesitated only for a second before melting into him completely. Warm arms wrapped around her, and he buried kisses into her hair. For once, she was thankful for her inability to cry. She didn’t think she could handle being more vulnerable than she already was.

His arms loosened slightly, but he didn’t let go.

“Can I see?” he asked, barely above a murmur.

Cinder nodded against his shoulder.

When she pulled back, she took his hand and wordlessly led him back into their room. The moment they stepped inside, the blinds automatically slid shut. She turned her back to him, lifting a hand to the fastenings at her spine.

“Can you help me?”

“Of course.”

With each clasp he carefully released, her heartbeat climbed higher, thudding loud in her ears. Just as he finished, she held the bodice of the gown for a moment. 

One last instinct to cover herself.

One last chance to change her mind. 

But she didn’t.

She let the dress fall. It pooled around her feet, leaving her in her undergarments. After a long moment, she stepped out of the dress and turned back toward him.

Kai exhaled, his eyes moving over her—not with surprise, nor uncertainty, but with the quiet awe he always seemed to have when he looked at her. He stepped forward, taking her hands. His voice morphed into something lighter. Teasing, almost.

“Selene Channary Jannali Blackburn,” he murmured near her ear, “did you know your name basically means moon, moon, moon?”

Her interface immediately filled her vision without permission. 

Selene — Greek origin; lunar goddess of the moon… Channary — Khmer origin; “moon,” “full moon”… Jannali — Aboriginal origin; “place of the moon”…

“I see that now,” Cinder said, letting out a breathless chuckle as she dismissed the display. “How do you even know that?” she questioned, not knowing where he was going with this.

Kai shrugged, taking on a bashful look. “When your fiancée is literally living on the moon, a man gets curious and does some research.”

“What are you even saying?” Cinder replied, but there was a real laugh in her voice now.

“It seemed romantic when I was thinking it.”

Relief flickered across Kai’s features when he saw the tension leave her face. His hands rose slowly, giving her time to move away if she wanted, before settling on her face. His thumbs brushed her cheekbones.

“So,” he whispered, “I guess that makes you my moon.”

Cinder blinked at him then scoffed. “That’s painfully cheesy.” The annoying thing was that her entire nervous system seemed to disagree.

“And yet you’re smiling.”

This time, she didn't bother hiding it. “I am.”

He moved away just enough to press a kiss against the scar on her chest—the one left behind by Levana's knife. Then another along her collarbone, lingering there for a second longer. Cinder’s breath stuttered in her throat—not from pain, but from the strange sensation of being touched like this. Because, for once, someone was touching the parts of her she hated most and seeing something other than damage. Maybe, if she stared long enough through his eyes, she could learn to see it too.

“Like…” Kai's voice was quiet. “the moon belongs in the sky. And I kind of forgot what the world looked like before you were in it.”

His voice dropped.

“My moon…” He hesitated as he knelt in front of her.

Then, softer, “Can I?”

Cinder’s breath caught. “Yes.” Her voice barely held.

Kai moved carefully down to her left thigh, to the scarred flesh just above the metal. He handled her as though she were something precious, and it made her chest ache with an emotion she couldn’t quite name. Then he pressed a kiss above one scar. And another. They were slow and unhurried, as though time itself had ceased to matter.

“—what I’m also trying to say is that even the moon is marked with craters.”

"I love you," she whispered.

"I know," Kai said, smiling. He rose to his feet and pulled her effortlessly into his arms. Instinctively, her legs wrapped around his waist as her arms slid around his neck.

“Show-off,” she muttered. Cinder kissed him before he could come up with another smug response.

fin.

A/N: Boooo, how did she manage to make freakder sad? And no, this has absolutely nothing to do with the “My moon, my man” trend. This fic had been sitting in my drafts long before that ever became a thing. If you know me, you know my fics somehow always end up tied to a song. This one was inspired by Lovesong by The Cure.

A huge thank you to @gingerale2017 for beta reading this fic!!! She's genuinely incredible and somehow always knows exactly how to make a scene better 💗

If you haven't checked out her tlc college AU yet, please do yourself a favour and give it a read! She updates every Tuesday, and it's genuinely one of my favorite fics in the fandom right now. Peak cinema. I've linked the masterlist here ;)

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed!): @gingerale2017, @inkstheticbkwrm, @horton-hears-a-who, @cyborgcourt, @therealkaidertrash21, @just2bubbly, @gavfleetout, @spherical-empirical, @asters-28

[inkstheticbkwrm]

WOOHOO 🎉 NEW CINDERSWIRECUTTERS FIC!!

Kai blowing on her ear 😭 he’s such a dork

This fic also really deals with the way Cinder would genuinely struggle with physical intimacy masterfully! The internal monologue was beautiful as always and Kai’s lines were perfect 🤩

🥲 amazing work as ever!!

[cinderswirecutters]

Thank you!! 🫶 Kai is dorkiest of dorks. I'm so glad you enjoyed it ;)

[romnanri]

Nova: So I caused a second battle and the rebirth of an era for everyone to have powers and challenged my uncle, almost killed my boyfriend at 16

Cinder: cool I discovered I'm related to an evil queen from the moon and I was a supposed lost princess, dethroned that same queen with a bunch of teenagers at 16 and now I'm married to the emperor Kai

Nova: cool

Catherine: I was forced into marriage and my lover died at 17 after a decision I made

Nova and Cinder: ....dang girl it was to kidnap them not kill them

The holy Trinity

I'm so sorry Heartless fans </3