⋮ ⌗ ┆“ 𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒕? 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈... 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆, 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒐𝒕. 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒂, 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚! ” ── .✦ 𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒎 𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒅
ᴳᵉⁿʳᵉ: ᶠˡᵘᶠᶠ, ᶜᵒᵐᵉᵈʸ, ᵉˣᵖˡⁱᶜⁱᵗ, ˢᵘᵍᵍᵉˢᵗⁱᵛᵉ ᶠˡⁱʳᵗⁱⁿᵍ.
ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳ⁽ˢ⁾ & ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ: ⁿᵒ ᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵒᶠ ʸ/ᴺ, ᶠᵉᵐ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ. ᴹᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵘᵉ ˢᵗᵒʳᵐ, ᴶᵉᶠᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᴸᵃⁿᵈˢʰᵃʳᵏ, ᴰᵒᶜᵗᵒʳ ˢᵗʳᵃⁿᵍᵉ, ˢᵗᵃʳ⁻ᴸᵒʳᵈ ᵉᵗᶜ. ᴾᵃʳᵏᵉʳ ᴿᵒᵇᵇⁱⁿˢ, ᵘˢᵉˢ ⁿⁱᶜᵏⁿᵃᵐᵉˢ ᶠᵒʳ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ˢᵘᶜʰ ᵃˢ "ᵐᵃ".
ˢᶜᵉⁿᵃʳⁱᵒ: ᴾᵃʳᵏᵉʳˢ ᵍᵒᵗ ⁱᵗ ᵇᵃᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘ. ᴴᵉ ᵍᵒᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʰᵉᵃˡⁱⁿᵍ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵒ ʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵛᵉ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵏᵉᵉᵖˢ ᶜᵒᶜᵏᵇˡᵒᶜᵏⁱⁿᵍ ʰⁱᵐ.
ᴬᵘᵗʰᵒʳᵉˢˢ ᴺᵒᵗᵉˢ: ᴵ ᶠⁱⁿᵃˡˡʸ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉᵈ ʳᵉᵃᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʳⁱᵛᵃˡˢ ᶜᵒᵐⁱᶜ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵀʰᵉ ᴴᵒᵒᵈ ˢᵒ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳˢᵗᵃⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵒᶠ ʰⁱˢ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿᵃˡⁱᵗʸ! ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᴵ ˡⁱᵏᵉᵈ ⁱᵗ. :ᴰ ᴬⁿʸʷᵃʸˢ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗʸˡᵉ ˢⁱⁿᶜᵉ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐʸ ᵗᵃᵇˡᵉᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵐʸ ˡᵃᵖᵗᵒᵖ... ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ⁱᵗ ˡᵒᵒᵏˢ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ⁿⁱᶜᵉ.
The clash of energy blasts and shattering masonry echoed from the central plaza of Yggsgard, turning the celestial, golden realm into a chaotic, neon-drenched nightmare. But behind the intact marble pillars of a quiet alcove, the atmosphere was entirely different.
Parker slumped against a stone bench. His dark, mystical cloak flickered with low, erratic purple flames, and a fresh plasma burn was smoking slightly on his shoulder. Was it a serious, life-threatening injury? Honestly, no. He had roughly 45 HP left and his pistols were smoking. A quick splash of water from Jeff the Land Sharks healing tech or a brief second spent regenerating his shields inside Sue Storms bubble would have fixed him up two seconds flat.
But no. Parker Robbins was a man with a mission, a fresh burn, and a massive, agonizingly heavy crush. He had explicitly dodged the cute little land shark three times across the battlefield, actively sprinting in the opposite direction just to crawl over here. He didnt want a sloppy splash of water or a detached hard-light shield. He needed your hands on him. Specifically.
Using his dark magic to slip past the enemy Star-Lords relentless line of fire, Parker practically threw himself around the corner of the stone pillar where you were taking cover. He let out a deliberately pathetic, heavily strained groan, leaning his weight against the wall and letting his dual pistols drop uselessly to his sides.
"Ah... god, ma," Parker rasped, his voice a perfect, practiced mix of genuine exhaustion and shameless exaggeration. He looked up at you through his messy, sweat-dampened hair, his dark eyes wide and pleading. "Im hurting bad over here. Think you can... you know, work your magic on me? Personally?"
You sighed, a mixture of fondness and exasperation washing over you, but your eyes softened. "Parker, I told you to stop dive-bombing the enemy backline alone."
"Yeah, well," Parker muttered, his voice dropping an octave, becoming softer, rougher as you stepped closer. "Jeffs healing gets me too wet. I wanted your healing."
You paused, your hands hovering just above his chest, your eyes flicking up to meet his. "Parker, Jeffs healing is instantaneous. You dragged yourself all the way across the courtyard for a slow patch-up?"
"Maybe I like the slow way," he murmured, leaning a fraction of an inch closer.
As you finally placed your palms flat against his chest, your healing abilities flared to life. A warm, soothing light began to knit his wounds back together, seeping directly into his skin. Parker practically melted under your touch. He let out a low, shaky breath, his heart hammering against your palms like a trapped bird. He closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, completely vulnerable, just soaking in your incredible warmth.
He cleared his throat, trying to muster up some of that signature Brooklyn bravado, though his hands were slightly trembling. "Ive always wanted to dive into you," Parker murmured, the words slipping out of his mouth before his brain could stop them.
Your eyes slightly widened at the sudden comment. The heavy, loaded implication hung thickly in the air between you, making the space between your chests feel suddenly electric. You blinked, wondering if the ambient noise of the battle had distorted his words. "...what?" was all you said.
Parkers heart did a violent flip. Realizing you had actually heard him, his survival instincts kicked in, and he scrambled to cover it up with a hasty, breathless cough. "Im talking about the battle, ma… yknow me and you could dive into the back lines. It would be a nasty team up, yeah?"
You raised an eyebrow but before you could question him further, Parkers chest swelled with a sudden, desperate surge of confidence. This is it, he thought. The lighting is perfect. Her hands are on me. Im just gonna say it. Im asking her out the second this match ends.
He leaned in closer, his voice dropping back down to a smooth, sultry murmur. "Yknow, youre really a lifesaver, ma. I dont know what Id do out here without you. Maybe tonight, after we wrap this up, you and I could get some—"
Instinctively, his street-honed reflexes took over. He threw his uninjured arm around your waist, gripping you tightly and pulling you flat to the dirt just as the deafening, sonic boom of Hanzos ultimate shattered every piece of glass within a mile radius.
A pair of massive, glowing blue spirit dragons roared directly through the alcove, missing the two of you by mere inches thanks to a sudden, last-second magical barrier that snapped into place above you. Dust, debris, and glowing blue spiritual residue rained down on your heads.
Parker lay flat on his back in the dirt, staring blankly up at the sky. His perfect moment. His flawless, romantic, vulnerable pitch. Completely vaporized by a pair of giant ghost dragons.
From a few yards away, Doctor Strange floated by casually, lowering his glowing mandalas and dodging a stray projectile. "Oh, sorry about that, lovebirds! The choke point shifted!"
Parker slowly pushed himself up, wiping a layer of Yggsgard dust off his face. His perfect moment was ruined, but worse? Because Doctor Strange had just swooped in to save them from a literal dragon, the rest of the team immediately assumed the worst. Looking over, Jeff the Land Shark and Sue Storm saw the two of them covered in dirt and spiritual residue, and the supportive panic set in. They thought you were hurt.
Was the universe seriously cockblocking him like a motherfucker right now?
A low, wet, rhythmic “Dun-dun... dun-dun... dun-dun...” began to echo from the dust cloud. It was Jeff, quite literally mimicking the Jaws theme song as he paddled furiously through a spawned puddle.
Then suddenly, a wet, thundering screech shattered the remaining quiet. Before Parker could even open his mouth to complain, a massive, gelatinous wave of water crashed directly over both of you. Jeff the Land Shark came sliding in at Mach 5, completely obliterating whatever shred of romantic tension was left in the atmosphere. The tiny shark burst out of his puddle, clapping his fins happily and barking at you for praise, thoroughly convinced he had successfully "helped" heal Parker and his favorite strategist to full health.
Parker was dripping wet. His cloak was soaked. His hair was plastered to his forehead in ridiculous, dripping strands. He stared at the clapping shark with a look of pure, murderous, cold-blooded betrayal.
"Oh, thank you, Jeff!" you giggled, completely oblivious to Parkers internal spiritual collapse as you wiped the water from your face and patted the sharks wet, rubbery head.
Parker tried. He really did. He wiped a stream of water from his eyes, pushing his wet hair out of his face, gritting his teeth, determined to salvage his move. He took a deep breath, wrung out his sodden sleeve, and stepped back into your personal space. He was a street-smart guy from New York; he could recover from a giant dragon and a land shark.
"Right. As I was saying, ma," Parker coughed, trying to look suave despite looking like a drowned rat but desperate to anchor you to him before anyone else interrupted. "You and me. Tonight. We should—"
Suddenly, the entire world went bright blue and transparent. A thick, impenetrable forcefield materialized directly between Parkers face and your body. Because he was leaning in so intensely close, his nose smacked hard against the hard-light barrier with a pathetic, rubbery squeak.
"Dont worry, teammates! You are safe inside my sphere!" Sue Storms voice echoed cheerfully from a few yards away as she floated past, completely capping the objective and enveloping you in her massive, protective bubble.
Parker was left standing entirely on the outside, his face pressed flat against the blue energy wall like a sad puppy looking through a pet store window. He could see you laughing on the other side, completely safe, warm, and dry, waving happily at Sue.
The dark energy of his cloak suddenly flared to life, burning a bright, angry, frustrated purple. He pulled out his twin pistols, his face a mask of comedic, furious disbelief. He slid his hands down the smooth barrier, a completely broken, defeated man.
"I hate this team," Parker muttered miserably into the energy shield, his soul visibly leaving his body. "I swear to god, Im joining the villains next season.”
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