[zzzilan]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

the other day i was telling my partner about my new coworkers and the spirit moved me to start inserting characters from Piano Man

[iwilleatyourenglish]

i did it for a bit before he noticed. Paul, the single real estate novelist, and John, who got me a drink for free, went by undetected, but there really is no easy way to sneak in Davey, who's still in the navy and probably will be for life

[iwilleatyourenglish]

he got really exasperated and went "hang on, NO. i KNOW Davey."

[sabertoothwalrus]

hello instagram artist. your challenge is to do a portrait study of a woman but you’re not allowed to stylize them so their eyes are really big and more cat eyed than the reference photo. You’re also not allowed to make their noses more of a button nose or their lips full and pouty or their faces heart shaped with no double chin. Also you have to draw a fat woman. one thats actually fat and not just slightly curvier than the kpop demon hunters body type. good luck

[mutimatuti]

never not thinking abt this

[dickstolebyanalien]

two men will watch a movie together and instead of having sex afterwards they record a podcast about it

[divorcedwife]

studying history is like. here's to another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be. thank you women who fight for abortion and contraception and independance from men for another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be

[tehamelie]

To another day of not waking up pregnant or turned into a giant cockroach

[divorcedwife]

so many perils out there…

[chamomile-teabag]

WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me

[hotgirlmeg]

imagine you have a movie with oscar isaac and john boyega and people fixate on adam driver instead. this actually happened

[hyliantomatoes]

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

[squid----s]

It’s okay

[thyrell]

why does every vulture look lesbian as hell

[thyrell]

like honestly im dead certain i saw this couple drinkin pabst at a potluck last week its not just me right

[assiraphales]

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

[blond-shell]

no and i can take it further

[blond-shell]

since they used a pic of shane for this i like to imagine this is an in-universe article that gay times wrote because of shaydens insisting that the pike children are paid actors

[moldspace]

spiral harpy

[slutdge]

girl youre not better than everyone just because you dont use tiktok

yes i am

[horsesarecreatures]

Irish Cob Foals

[344j3]

if you see me being queerbaited do not try and save me. i’m exactly where i want to be

[daughter-of-sapph0]

Pro Tip: Dumplings can prevent the negative status condition Passive Suicidality