citizen kerry

Trying to understand America. Failing gloriously every day.

[citizenkerry]

great moment on a plane

Neighbor: Excuse me, I just wanted you to know that there's a cat under your seat.

[citizenkerry]

impt. conversation

Barista: Wait, the macchiato is for you?

Me: Yes. You sound surprised. What kind of drink do you think I order?

Barista: A tall no fat no foam latte.

Me: I used to be that girl, but I'm not her anymore.

[citizenkerry]

revised life goals (v. important)

1. Be happy 2. Be kind

[citizenkerry]

rules for being my friend (v. impt)

I must feel neutral or better about myself after 90% of our interactions. 

[citizenkerry]

NEXT TIME YOU HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DECISION, REMEMBER THIS SIGN!

[citizenkerry]

how to take yourself seriously

Take yourself seriously. 

[citizenkerry]

Sorry, dude, I'm taken!

[citizenkerry]

I have never stolen anyone's dog, but I had some dark thoughts this morning in front of Duane Reade.

[citizenkerry]

I don't want to say that this made my day, because (1) it's only 10am and a lot can happen, and (2) I should probably aim higher, but seeing this tourist feed a squirrel in Washington Square Park was an oddly good start to April 23.

[gibblertron]

When was the last time a review of Two and a Half men felt the need to go into how Jon Cryer is “such a normal-looking man?” 

[citizenkerry]

Spring in Washington Square!

I don't know about you, but I can't stop thinking about Patti Smith every time I walk through this place. Thanks a lot, Just Kids!

[citizenkerry]

i can't decide if crowdsourcing is brilliant or just a way to avoid having an opinion

What do you think?

[citizenkerry]

proof that anything is possible!

Me: I was really surprised you replied to my email so quickly.

Mom: I sent it from the plane.

Me: How?

Mom: I learned how to use my iPad!

[citizenkerry]

a good life lesson

Me: Mom, what advice would you give yourself 35 years ago?

Mom: chill

[citizenkerry]

When I see a bird that walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck. 

Even if that bird is, apparently, a goose. 

[citizenkerry]

Wise words from Elvis's father at Graceland. (Also: if you're making a sign for your office door today, some great ideas in here.)

[citizenkerry]

This is quaintest picture I've ever taken. (With Anne in Soho.)