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@citrinana
happy pride to Black lesbians and Black trans women!
How do I seize the monthly urge to comb out my 9 months starter locs out help chat help chat help chat, it’s not even that I don’t like my hair, I just miss my Afro so badly like I just miss the rounded Afro even tho my current hair sorta looks like a fro since it’s short it ain’t the same bro, uhh lemme write what else I miss:
I miss my coils, I miss washing by hair and feeling the coils it’s a texture thing that I miss like I just miss touching my loose hair even tho my love is sorta the same texture especially the roots that’s unlocked
I miss braiding my hair, not even added extra hair but just doing regular conrows, huge plaits,
I miss the fro I miss the Afro I miss the Afro I miss the Afro
I miss combing my hair( I hated I hated detangling but now I Miss it lol)
I miss the versility(yes locs are versatile but like I really miss easily doing braids or twists or like a puff or like a bun like yes I can add hair to my locs buh I rlly don’t want to since they still in their starters/baby phase
Yeah that pretty much all I miss tbh before locs my hair was short mini buzz then it grew out a lil bit so I just think I miss the hair before shortcut
Things I don’t miss:
I don’t miss doing my edges, although I learned that I can do my edges sparingly / not everyday when I had my short Afro and I feel like when ur hair is unlocked there comes a pressure to do ur edges wit certain styles or certain events, I hate the feeling of gel on my forehead/head it’s cold and usually wet and I noticed slicking down the edges lowkey start causing breakage but with locs I couldn’t tell you the last time I did my edges cuz my hair literally just flows
I don’t miss the pressure to “do” my hair or switch up styles, like I know with looose natural hair I can just wear my fro everyday which I’ve done for a while but there still comes a pressure/ wether external or internal to do something else and I think that the pressure I’m feeling right now to comb out my locs but it’s more internal
I don’t miss the long washdays
I don’t miss not having like a certain shape that like constant with my hair, with locs my hair is constantly shape to a Afro/shortpixie even if manipulate it or tie it down I love the shapeee of my hair but with Afro I feel like it’ll be harder to get that shape
I don’t miss buying/having to use hella hair products
I got my locs as a way to be more expressive outwardly rather than being so inward/to myself which has nothing to do with hair now that I’m realizing (well hair is apart of my expression) but like I got locs as physical manifestation of me focus on expressing myself more, talking to other more, writing more, crotcheting/drawing more, instead of doing all the styles I wanna do on my own head since I used to braid me hair a lot doing those styles on others/ or on a doll/wig, and lastly being more in tone with my spiritually like talking to my ancestors/dieties I’m connected to etc. now I just feel like it’s like the end of that journey or it’s changed in way to me wanting to have my loose natural hair but still focus on expressing myself more I’m connecting my locs less to my personal growth or watever and idk I just want to change but I just know I’ll miss my locs so bad bruh that’s why I’m like errrr idk like im lowkey attached I love them to much but there’s a itch to just take them out and have my Afro also I can always restart and if I do take em out I’ll definitely be restarting in a hair or so buh i just will miss them so much ☹️ and I kind wanna wait till im atleast a year or 2 yrs in to see how I feel, I also will just try other styles with my locs cuz to be frank ive only had it out and the different styles are like changing the shape to either a side pixie, regular pixie, soft Mohawk or just regular fro so idk ima try like a half up half down or sum and see how I feel cuz I really do love my starter locs
Pics of me starter locs recent/start phase, pic of me buzz phase, pics of me bigger Afro phase
#starterlocs #naturalhair
Snitching on my ass like crazy, snitchin on my ass like man #nollywood
Flowers heal da soul, I love walking to the train stop and seeing such beautiful #roses & #orientallilies #photagraphy
Lay with me
Don’t move until all the tingles in my body spreads onto you
Soft kisses and a few bites here and there will do
But lay with me
Feel my soul at its most restful horizon
I’m not a body don’t perceive that plz
Just lay with me
I want to feel you
I want to give you all that I am
Let’s be equals in this moment
I’ll lick you clean if you insist
Don’t touch me for the sake of having something to touch
For these moments are only experienced with the yins to my yangs
Touch me for the sake of compassion
We’re not only tools for pleasure
Use my as your little toy
I don’t want you to fill a hole in my heart there are no holes when I’m with you and without
I’ve givin myself enough of this
I want to feel your heart
Please touch me
My body is not for pleasure
Dried up calla lily in murkey water
I be having dreams of me flying through trees and gliding and gazing through the sky jumping from house to house (I was getting chased tho lol) but I wake up and try to fly but remember flying is not possible in this dimension and get sad
Everyday I ask myself why do I seek external validation from pplz who dont know or care abt me from a can of paint literally gonna stop doing that shizt
MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE
Had to turn off the reading goals feature on Apple Books, ion need my reading time to be quantified ho
I’m so sad all the time and I hate it loneliness does alot to a kinfolk #callyourfriendstheysay idk I’m just looking for a brighter season