ack

I doodle my life away.

[funny-tik-toks]

[ko-is-an-insomniac]

Cain and Abel

[sharkswithsocks]

The Cain Instinct

[idratherhavefreedom]

[omghotmemes]

See you in 1977

[randomslasher]

It is literally impossible to pick a favorite line from this because the entire thing is gold. 

[homoidiotic]

[feralg0blin]

[citrusgoddess]

After a cringy 4 hr use of Tinder…

I have 20+ matches, over 100 who “liked” me, conversations with those matched people, and the following outcomes. 6 requests to add me on Snapchat, to which I lied and said I didn’t have one. 4 people asking me how tall I am. 2 people asking for my phone number. 10 cringy white boy pickup lines, but some weren’t as bad as others. 1 girl that seemed to go all in and want me to sit on her face. 1 boy that called me his “sweet little girl”. 1 guy that seemed to have one hell of a work ethic, like damn, you are bordering psycho. 2 guys that asked me to fight them (a kink?????)

My findings have lead to the consensus, I do attract people older than me, I look sweet (how???), my height is a turn on, so is my taste in music, I apparently have a face that makes people think I have an “above average ass,” everyone is extremely horny (minus the other asexuals who were talking to me and actually have a nice convo), memes are a turn on for people, and people have an extreme need to tell me their life story.

[citrusgoddess]

Oh, and someone said I was the perfect size and girl they wanted…. and proceeded to say and quote “Damn girl, you are so adorable and fine. I just wanna dick you to death, even if you scream stop, I’ll keep going until you feel like you’ll vomit for 3 hours”

[citrusgoddess]

I have since deleted the app off my phone…. I have no intention of getting dicked to death…. or sitting on people’s faces, or marrying or fighting or whatever the flying fuck each person asked for.

[citrusgoddess]

We can’t forget the dear souls who asked me to murder them… like for real, I think they wanted to die. To which I would reply, “Hey, I wanna die too”

[citrusgoddess]

Some highlights…

[citrusgoddess]

Perhaps I upped my chances of landing cringy people…

But, I made it priority to not “like” people who were 10 years older than me, had children, wanted threesomes, or anything else that would involve crushing someone who was honestly looking for someone to be with romatically… or just hookup with…. something a lot of people had in common that I ended up “liking”… cute girls, people that were generally not super tall (as couple exceptions, but generally female height was 5’- 5'4, and male height was 5'6-5'10….), had either a cat or dog, meme references, I also choose not really muscular people… more lanky tbh…. This experience opened my eyes to the fact, I may have a type 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[furbearingbrick]

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

[memewhore]

[memewhore]

[forever-memes]

March in 3 months

[leftboob-enthusiast]

[memewhore]

[wolfandrain]

“I don’t see a father in your contacts!”

Y’all I am wheezing. This video is hilarious, and exactly what I needed today. 

[tikkety-tok]

I would follow Kevin into Hell if he asked me to 🔥

[dreams-in-daylight]

SQUEAKY BABEY

[weaver-z]

I love how every game of Among Us rapidly becomes an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia the longer it goes on

[weaver-z]

[mrjinx87]

You hate to see it.

[user-has-moved-deactivated20230]

[napiplier]

[thebestoftumbling]

[catchymemes]

[homofied]

[ike-loves-men]

I fixed it.

[homofied]

[izlaniusliddel]

No I fixed it

[homofied]