CJ Goddard the Author

I'm a writer from South Florida working as a freelance journalist with OutFAU. I have been writing for nearly 6 years and hope to publish my work soon!

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Hello!

My name is CJ Goddard and I'm a writer! You can read my work here, on my substack, or on my instagram, linked below through my linktree!

CJ Goddard the Author | Instagram | Linktree

I'm a writer from South Florida working as a freelance journalist with OutFAU. I have been writing for nearly 6 years and hope to publish my

Master post of my posted writing:

Hazbin Hotel:

A Date with Rosie Fruit Rot When Left Behind It Was Never Hard to Love You, My Princess A Long Day at Work

Deltarune:

noelle

Original Works:

Making Dinner I watched another man die today

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggi | Vaggie Characters: Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Carmilla Carmine (Hazbin Hotel), Zestial (Hazbin Hotel), Prick (Hazbin Hotel), Hatchet (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Prohibition Era, Mystery, Fallen Angel Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Lesbian Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Worried Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar Needs a Hug, Good Significant Other Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Top Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Bottom Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Emotional Hurt, Arson, Alcohol, Soft Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Manager Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty Being Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Niffty Friendship (Hazbin Hotel), Overlord Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Overlord Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Gambling, Poker, Human Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Minor Carmilla Carmine/Zestial (Hazbin Hotel), Human Carmilla Carmine (Hazbin Hotel) Summary:

The Hazbin Hotel and Casino is a dangerous place, with secrets burned into the foundations. Charlie Morningstar and Vaggi have left the hotel unexpectedly in the midst of a fire in their penthouse. 

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapter 3 – Woman on the Train, How I Pity You is out now! The focus is back around to Vaggi and Charlie again!

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapter 4 -- Tiny Moments Caught in the Smoke is now published!! Murdermedia and Huskerdust crumbs in this one!

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggi | Vaggie Characters: Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Carmilla Carmine (Hazbin Hotel), Zestial (Hazbin Hotel), Prick (Hazbin Hotel), Hatchet (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Prohibition Era, Mystery, Fallen Angel Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Lesbian Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Worried Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar Needs a Hug, Good Significant Other Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Top Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Bottom Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Emotional Hurt, Arson, Alcohol, Soft Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Manager Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty Being Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Niffty Friendship (Hazbin Hotel), Overlord Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Overlord Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Gambling, Poker, Human Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Minor Carmilla Carmine/Zestial (Hazbin Hotel), Human Carmilla Carmine (Hazbin Hotel) Summary:

The Hazbin Hotel and Casino is a dangerous place, with secrets burned into the foundations. Charlie Morningstar and Vaggi have left the hotel unexpectedly in the midst of a fire in their penthouse. 

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapter 3 -- Woman on the Train, How I Pity You is out now! The focus is back around to Vaggi and Charlie again!

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Survey about Masculinity

I'm writing an article dissecting what trans existence could look like within the world of Brandon Sanderson's The Stormlight Archive series through the lens of one of the protagonists, Kaladin, and I'd like to get an understanding of how queer and trans communities (both of which I am a part of) view masculinity and if there is any inherent meaning behind manliness. 

This piece will most likely get published to my substack and could end up being a video essay if there is demand. I am analyzing gender within the only first book of The Stormlight Archive, The Way of Kings, but the analysis will contain information that is revealed within the following three books: Words of Radiance, Oathbringer, and Rhythm of War.

I'm asking for statements from the queer community about what masculinity means in the form of a google doc. Statements from cis and straight individuals are welcome, as long as you are willing to provide nuanced discussion about gender and its expression.

What Does it Mean to be a Man?

I'm writing an article dissecting what trans existence could look like within the world of Brandon Sanderson's The Stormlight Archive series

Thank you for your help!!

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggi | Vaggie Characters: Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Carmilla Carmine (Hazbin Hotel), Zestial (Hazbin Hotel), Prick (Hazbin Hotel), Hatchet (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Prohibition Era, Mystery, Fallen Angel Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Lesbian Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Worried Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar Needs a Hug, Good Significant Other Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Top Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Bottom Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Emotional Hurt, Arson, Alcohol, Soft Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Manager Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty Being Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Niffty Friendship (Hazbin Hotel), Overlord Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Overlord Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Gambling, Poker, Human Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Minor Carmilla Carmine/Zestial (Hazbin Hotel), Human Carmilla Carmine (Hazbin Hotel) Summary:

The Hazbin Hotel and Casino is a dangerous place, with secrets burned into the foundations. Charlie Morningstar and Vaggi have left the hotel unexpectedly in the midst of a fire in their penthouse. 

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

It Was Never Hard to Love You, My Princess

Vaggi’s hands trace the folds where my dress pinches too tightly across my chest. Her fingers are delicate, soft as a dew drop on a flower petal. Blood stains her fingertips, smudged by the beaded fabric. 

A forgotten bottle of moonshine spills into the rug and soaks into our socks as we stand, clinging to each other in the otherwise empty living room. The only light in the house glows from the kitchen, amber light casting the shoebox apartment in golden glow. Long shadows grow from the line of half-drunk liquor bottles clinging to the edge of the counter. In the entryway, a gramophone sings a lilting jazz tune. 

Her gaze follows her dancing hands, sliding languidly across the beadwork of the secondhand gown. A smile emerges across her rouged lips and her eyes glance up to meet mine. 

Perfectly gelled white hair pinned in place frames her powdered face. It would be a shame if someone messed it up. 

She reached up with one blood-stained hand and cupped my cheek. Her hand was ice on my skin and a shiver ran down my spine as she pulled me closer to her. She gazed at me through her lashes as the two of us drew closer. 

The music of the gramophone hushed as the song concluded. 

And in that silent moment, between heartbeats, our lips met. 

I taste the alcohol on her tongue, a treason no greater than my own. 

The hand on my cheek brushed down to my shoulder and she began to slip off my dress. I pull away from the kiss for a moment and as her eyes met mine, I turned and pulled my hair away from my shoulders to reveal the zipper holding the showgirl dress in place. 

I hear her soft breath of acknowledgement and she unzips the gown, exposing my back to the hazy air. She reaches around my waist and I feel her warm lips on my upper back, kissing the space that had been hidden from the world for so many years. 

Her hands around my waist tightened as her body melted into my own, hugging me from behind. My dress hangs loose across my frame, finally fitting comfortably. 

“Should we move somewhere more comfortable, my dear?”

I stand with my eyes closed and take a moment to respond. She doesn’t ask again, just continues holding me as we sway to the final notes on the record. 

As silence envelops us once more, I shake my head. 

No other song starts up, and the two of us stand in the middle of our destroyed living room, our bloody socks covered in shards of broken glass. Smoke fills the air from the fire growing in the kitchen, and she holds me in the silent wreckage of our home.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/81407981/chapters/214032386

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Chapter 2 is up on my Ao3 rn! Find the link in my masterpost or follow the link in the original post :)

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Mature Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Angel Dust/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel) Characters: Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel), Scarlett Dolly (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Abusive Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust Needs a Hug (Hazbin Hotel), Sex Worker Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Cherri Bomb Friendship (Hazbin Hotel), Hurt Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Original Character(s), Major Original Character(s), Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Abuse, One-Sided Angel Dust/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Minor Angel Dust/Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Angst and Hurt/Comfort Summary:

After a double shift at Val's studio, Angel Dust's costar Scarlett invites him and some of the other girls working for Valentino out to the spa.

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

It Was Never Hard to Love You, My Princess

Vaggi’s hands trace the folds where my dress pinches too tightly across my chest. Her fingers are delicate, soft as a dew drop on a flower petal. Blood stains her fingertips, smudged by the beaded fabric. 

A forgotten bottle of moonshine spills into the rug and soaks into our socks as we stand, clinging to each other in the otherwise empty living room. The only light in the house glows from the kitchen, amber light casting the shoebox apartment in golden glow. Long shadows grow from the line of half-drunk liquor bottles clinging to the edge of the counter. In the entryway, a gramophone sings a lilting jazz tune. 

Her gaze follows her dancing hands, sliding languidly across the beadwork of the secondhand gown. A smile emerges across her rouged lips and her eyes glance up to meet mine. 

Perfectly gelled white hair pinned in place frames her powdered face. It would be a shame if someone messed it up. 

She reached up with one blood-stained hand and cupped my cheek. Her hand was ice on my skin and a shiver ran down my spine as she pulled me closer to her. She gazed at me through her lashes as the two of us drew closer. 

The music of the gramophone hushed as the song concluded. 

And in that silent moment, between heartbeats, our lips met. 

I taste the alcohol on her tongue, a treason no greater than my own. 

The hand on my cheek brushed down to my shoulder and she began to slip off my dress. I pull away from the kiss for a moment and as her eyes met mine, I turned and pulled my hair away from my shoulders to reveal the zipper holding the showgirl dress in place. 

I hear her soft breath of acknowledgement and she unzips the gown, exposing my back to the hazy air. She reaches around my waist and I feel her warm lips on my upper back, kissing the space that had been hidden from the world for so many years. 

Her hands around my waist tightened as her body melted into my own, hugging me from behind. My dress hangs loose across my frame, finally fitting comfortably. 

“Should we move somewhere more comfortable, my dear?”

I stand with my eyes closed and take a moment to respond. She doesn’t ask again, just continues holding me as we sway to the final notes on the record. 

As silence envelops us once more, I shake my head. 

No other song starts up, and the two of us stand in the middle of our destroyed living room, our bloody socks covered in shards of broken glass. Smoke fills the air from the fire growing in the kitchen, and she holds me in the silent wreckage of our home.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/81407981/chapters/214032386

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

I watched another man die today.

I watched another man die today 

on the tiny LED screen pried between

my fingers. 

I scrolled past, assuming 

it was just more slop, afraid to admit the truth

and two minutes later

I saw it again. 

But this time, a brown haired woman

raved that the dead man,

he was waving around a gun, but I could’ve sworn

that what he held had been 

a phone,

just like mine. 

And I kept scrolling. 

Another angle:

Mace in his face,

shielding another’s body,

no gun in sight, and a phone clutched between his gloved fingers.

I couldn’t turn on the sound, 

so I didn’t hear the bullets ricochet,

but I saw his body slump, 

I saw his legs bounce as they fell limp to the ground.

And I kept scrolling. 

Hundreds of voices filled my screen: 

The voices of the grieving, the voices of the enraged, the voices of those prepared to fight back. 

But one voice

was silent. 

In the final video I saw, 

a nurse gave a speech honoring the death of his patient, laying that patient’s soul to rest. 

But that was before a magazine had been unloaded into his back. 

[flarethefreak]

A look inside

(Gore under cut)

[fangirlygirlygirlygirlygirly]

with an emphasis on eyebrows

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Vaggi | Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: No Smut, No Romance, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Aromantic Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Rosie Friendship (Hazbin Hotel), Good Friend Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Supportive Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Loves Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Rosie Loves Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Comfort No Hurt Summary:

Alastor's breakfast is interrupted by a group of delinquents before he takes a trip to gossip and drink tea with Rosie. Along the way, Alastor picks up a new coat from his tailor, to prepare for his get-together with Rosie.

I published it to AO3 if anyone wants to read it there, rather than on my blog!

[no-where-new-hero]

“this post contains mature content” it’s picture of a classical nude. it’s a photorealistic painting of someone’s hands. it’s a gifset of a kpop idol smiling. it’s a moodboard featuring someone’s bare shoulder. it’s a film still of a non-graphic bloodstain. it’s a photograph of a non-white girl sitting on a counter wearing a short skirt. it’s a meta about how sexuality is depicted in a tv show. do you see what’s happening here. the vilification of the body. the sanitizing of violence. the whitewashing of presentation. i hate it i hate it so much

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

Fruit Rot When Left Behind

Lucifer struggled with mornings. It was hard to keep things straight those first few moments as another day in hell began. It wasn’t easy waking up to the silence. 

Rolling over wouldn’t help, his hand might drift to where hers should have waited, and instead of the smile on his wife’s lips, he was greeted with cold, empty sheets and unused pillows. A knock at the door from Charlie’s girlfriend usually marks the start of breakfast, and although coffee never makes the feeling fade, it shifts his focus, which was good enough most days. 

But some days, nothing could help. Mornings filled with hundreds of episodes of trashy television would give way into restless afternoons pretending the darkness was nonexistent. Those afternoons faded into sleepless nights, overflowing with intrusive thoughts of what could have been. The various gifts and bribes from the other cardinal sins were not even enough to lift his spirits, even if they were getting better at bribery. 

So, bundled up in his comforter and his hand-knit pink sweater, he would lie in bed watching dust mites swirl in the air, highlighted by the glow of some telanovela playing on the screen across the darkened room, wishing for a softer time. 

During these times his mind would shift, and reflect times long since past. Times when Charlie was younger. Times when his daughter would jump up and down on the bed, begging him to let her paint his nails. Times when she would go quiet, trying to understand some puzzle or trick of the light. Times when he could kiss a boo-boo and it would magically be all-better. 

He would fall back to days before Charlie. Before Lilith began to change, the years carving away at her dreams like a knife. He would see his wife’s smile and the musical tones of her laughter would trickle out of invisible speakers like a mourning dove. He would remember the warmth of her cheek under his hand, the softness of her gaze, the strength of her voice guiding the lost. 

And once again, he would fall into sleep. 

A knock at the door wakes him from his stupor, lighter than Charlie’s Girlfriend’s but with that same quick rhythm. 

“Your majesty,” a deep voice calls, a question implied in his tone, “Charlie is wondering where you are, breakfast is nearly over and you haven’t come down all day.”

Lucifer turns to the clock, his eyes widening in surprise. So much time had passed in what had felt like a blink. 

“Coming!” He exclaims. “Tell Charlie that her dad is very sorry for being late for breakfast!”

“Will do,” the voice responds. “I’ll let her know.”

Lucifer scrambles out of bed, reaching out for the coffee long since cold on the nightstand. 

“Charlie’s girlfriend is so sweet,” he whispers aloud to the empty room, his voice barely audible over the telanovela echoing in the background. He turns to glance over his shoulder at the ducks on the screen. He sighs, “I’ll have to rerun the episodes I missed.”

He turns to the nightstand and chugs a mug of coffee that Charlie’s girlfriend had dropped off when doing her morning wake-up calls. Cold as it is, it’s still coffee, and any coffee is better than no coffee.

He places the deer season mug on the matching coaster that Vanni was polite enough to bring up to him. His fingers slide across the dusty wood of the tabletop, and reach the small, turned-down picture frame. 

In the dingy light, the frame doesn’t seem like anything of note, it's just another piece of the mess that Lucifer had found himself in over the last 10,000 years. That said, it is a piece of the mess he can control. He could at least try to start cleaning up. He flips it upright and stops. 

Charlie was so little, probably only two years old. Both Lucifer and Lilith had needed to hunch over to hold her little hands. The three walked across a beach in some forgotten corner of hell, taking family portraits. Charlie was dragging her two parents, so excited to be walking on her own. The photographer had caught her looking over her shoulder, grinning from ear to ear as she pulled the two leaders of hell across the sand, three sets of messy footprints behind them. 

Lucifer used a sleeve to wipe off the surface of the glass, clearing away teardrops that obscured the memory. Now is not the time for crying, it’s time for breakfast. 

He flips the photo down. 

He grabs his staff from where it got discarded last night, atop a pile of prototype rubber ducks, and with a flick of the wrist, he is ready for the day. 

As ready as he can be, at least. 

“Watch out!” A high pitched voice shouts at Lucifer, just before a pig with giant sharp teeth barrels him over. 

“Fat Nuggets,” a woman with an Australian accent shouts, “Drop it!”

Lucifer glances up at the woman, with her thick, pinkish-blonde hair falling across her face, before quickly assessing the pig that now stood proudly atop his chest. In the pigs mouth are a handful of sparkly plastic streamers. 

He grabs the pig’s face with both of his hands. 

“Uhh is this someone’s pig? Why are there—are those streamers? Why are streamers in its mouth?”

“Yeah,” the woman laughs, “That’s Fat Nuggets. I’m taking care of the little fucker while… while Angie’s… away.” She shakes her head violently, as if trying to fight off some thought. “The streamers are for Sinsmas, Vaggi asked me to help decorate the hotel, and, you know, spruce it up a bit for the holiday. I’ve been having problems with Fat Nuggets, who has decided to make decorating impossible by eating my supplies, the little dirtbucket.”

Lucifer nods, though he has absolutely no idea what most of that meant. 

She grabs the pig from Lucifer and he stands back up. 

“Thanks for catching him, by the way,” she shouts. “Makes the next bit a lot easier.”

She reaches into the pig’s mouth and starts trying to pull out all the plastic as she walks away.

“Well that’s certainly a way to start the day,” Lucifer exclaims. He slaps a smile on his face, and pushes back the darkness of the late morning start. 

He catches a glance of Charlie leading a group into the group therapy room and his smile turns genuine. She really does love this place, and the people who have started to believe in the good the hotel has to offer. She really is remarkable.

He turns away and heads to the large communal dining room, where the breakfast buffet was beginning to be cleared away by the small, creepy bug woman and Charlie’s Girlfriend. 

“Good morning sir,” Vagatha exclaims with a smile. “How’d you sleep?”

“I slept uhh–well,” Lucifer shakes his head slightly, “I slept well! It was a good sleep!” 

Vatricia laughs, “That’s nice, I’m glad you slept well sir. Do you… need a plate for breakfast? There’s not much left at this point, Nifty has helped clean up most of it. I think there might still be some pancakes? And I can make some eggs?”

“Eggs! Yes, those would be uhh–those would be wonderful, if you, you know, wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course,” Vamantha answers. “It will take me a few minutes, I’ve got to run a few errands around the hotel first. They shouldn’t take too long.”

“Yeah! No worries, no worries at all,” Lucifer replies. “I’ll be… I’ll just be over by the window! When Charlie gets out of the group therapy, would you let her know where I am?”

“No problem,” she states, before turning on her heel and lifting up a massive tray of buffet plates and taking off into the air. “I’ll be right back with those eggs.”

Lucifer smiles and jaunts over to a table in the corner of the dining room, one with a wide view of the city below. 

Normally, looking out over the population of sinners brought back the darkness, those years of solemnity when Lilith would disappear. This wasn’t the first time she had left, so why did it still hurt so much? She always comes back, so why does everything seem so gloomy?

“May I sit?”

Lucifer glances in the reflection in the glass and a pair of melancholy eyes stared back. 

“Sure,” Lucifer replies, and the bartender sits down across from him. 

“Vaggi said you might need someone to talk to,” the bartender murmurs, “But I doubt it’s talking that you want right now.”

Lucifer looks down, shifting his gaze from the reflection back to Pentagram City. 

“How did you know?”

“I’m not quite sure,” he pauses. “But, I think it's got something to do with your posture. It reminds me of my dark days.”

Lucifer glances up at him. His hand rests on the lip of a whiskey bottle, but his gaze is far off, looking out the window, towards the entertainment district. 

“Did you… lose someone too?”

The bartender met his eyes. 

“Not in the same way that you mean,” he sighs. “But you could say that I lost someone, yeah. A friend, though. Not a lover.”

They both turn their gazes out the window and a silence settles over the two as they watch the city move and breathe below. It’s strange how peaceful the city looks from way up here. So alive, and full of vibrancy, yet, at the same time, so quiet. So much more peaceful than the lonely quiet of an empty, upstairs bedroom. 

No sound passes between the two of them for a long time, watching out the window, waiting for someone lost to once again be found. 

[rosypie3]

Just a reminder that I do not subscribe to the labels of Proship on Anti. I don’t think they are necessary. I think if something that someone posts makes you uncomfortable then unfollow or block that person. Harassment isn’t necessary or needed.

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

A Date with Rosie

A chaotic sound echoing from outside the hotel’s front door rattles Alastor’s room and interrupts his breakfast, his favorite form of self-care. The deer carcass falls to the floor in a pile and maggots crawl out along the carpet. He sighs loudly and melts out of his chair, reappearing in the lobby a moment later. 

The wall was once again blown up, this time by some thugs who thought it was funny to bother the hotel residents during breakfast.

“Hey dumb cunts,” a feminine voice with an Australian accent calls from the dining room, “What the fuck was that for?”

A gaggle of teenagers hobble through the hole in the wall. 

“Ah the delinquency of youth,” Alastor exclaims excitedly. “What a pleasant surprise!”

“What the fuck are you talking about old man?” One of the teens, a shark demon, spits as he asks the belligerent question. “And why do you sound like that?”

“Oh dear,” Alastor replies. “You must be new here.”

The teen lowers the knife he was brandishing, his face twisting in confusion.

“Al,” Vaggi says from above, holding out her spear towards the gang of teens. “You’ve got this?”

“These children shouldn’t be much to deal with at all my dear! Please,” Alastor coos, “Return to breakfast, I shall join you shortly. And do tell Cherri that she need not worry her little head about the wall. It wasn’t her fault… this time.”

Vaggi nods and flies back to the door of the dining room, but does not enter. If anything goes wrong, she’d have Alastor’s back. 

The teens were whispering to each other, one gesturing wildly with a gun. 

“Welcome, troubled ones,” Alastor introduces, “To the Hazbin Hotel! Your misguided route to redemption. Have you decided to check in with us or are you here to just waste my time?”

Five sets of bewildered eyes lock onto the Radio Demon, who stands before them with both hands atop his radio staff and an annoyed smile across his lips. 

“We don’t need to tell you anything you old fuck,” the knife-weilding leader called out. “Where is Rooster?”

“Who do you speak of?”

“Rooster,” the leader groans, “Can’t you hear me goddamnit?”

“Oh, I can certainly hear you,” Alastor drawls. “It’s a matter of if I care, and I simply could not deign to.”

Alastor’s eyes narrow at the group and he holds back a sigh. Whatever their reasons for being here, they must leave now. 

“Oh shut up,” the leader shouts and makes his way across the atrium. 

Alastor releases his sigh and a shadow appears in front of the leader, stopping him in his tracks. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Alastor coos. “You see, interrupting my breakfast was bad enough. Interrupting Charlie’s breakfast? Well, then I would have to kill you.”

“David, come back,” one of the other teens shouts. “Don’t you know who that is? It’s the Radio Demon! We have to go!”

“Shut up Arnold! You’re such a pussy,” David calls back. “We need our money.”

In a flash, Alastor appears in front of him. 

“You should listen to your friend,” Alastor murmurs. “It would be better for all of you if you leave now. I’d like to return to my breakfast.”

David scowls and pushes past Alastor. 

The second his hand grazes Alastor’s coat, a wall of blood explodes in his face. 

He looks down and screams. His arm is gone. 

“I really wish that it hadn’t come to this, now I have to go to the dry cleaner’s,” Alastor exclaims. “Leave. Now.”

David scrambles away and his gang escapes out the hole in the wall.

“You didn’t have to mess with them that much, you know?”

Alastor turns towards Vaggi who leans against the closed doorway. 

“I apologize for the mess, but it had to be done,” he states. “I must stop by the cleaner’s before my appointment with Rosie.”

“Don’t worry about it Al,” Vaggi sighs. “Nift has helped get worse out of the carpets. I’ll see you for dinner?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Alastor sings, before turning to walk out the door. 

As he passes through the doorway, he waves his staff and the hole in the wall repairs itself with temporary shipboard. 

He begins his long walk to cannibal town in high spirits, visiting Rosie is usually quite a delight, with the exceptions of a few tense meetings. 

The two are meeting today for afternoon tea and gossip, as well as their weekly shit-talking session. Alastor quite likes Rosie, despite the power imbalance between the two. She makes an effort to treat him well, and he can appreciate that from her. 

One good thing about this situation is the fact that Alastor can pick up his new coat from the tailor’s on the way to the dry cleaner’s, giving him a chance to change before tea. Alastor would’ve been quite embarrassed to be seen in such an unruly state in Cannibal Town. Most care very deeply about their appearances there, and propriety is a must. 

With a genuine smile across his lips, he hums as he walks through Pentagram City.

His favorite tailor has his new coat ready upon arrival and he slides into the changing room. 

He peels off the bloody suit jacket and slips on the new one. Luckily the stains didn’t sink into the shirt below, or touch the arm garters or bow tie, meaning that the new coat is not to be stained by any remaining blood. 

“Perfect,” Alastor tells the demon waiting outside of the dressing room as he buttoned the front of the coat. “The color is magnificent as usual.”

“I appreciate the praise, sir,” the tailor says through the curtain, “As I appreciate your patronage of my shop, and that is to say that I am forever grateful.”

“Of course,” Alastor says, straightening his bowtie. “Do you have a bag that I could use to take this extra coat to the dry cleaner’s?”

“Yes, sir,” the man exclaims. “Do you want me to hang it for you?”

“That would be lovely,” Alastor replies, opening the curtain, revealing the look of the new coat to the tailor. 

The cut is a little higher than the previous coat, and in a slightly darker shade of fabric that highlights his hair and eyes. The buttons and cufflinks are both gold, highlighting the gold on his new boots. The double breasted closure, suits his thinner waist and highlights his figure. 

“You did well,” Alastor compliments the shorter demon. “I do quite like this different fit.”

The man simply bows, the old jacket on a wire hanger and enclosed in a garment bag held in his hand. 

“I shall see you the next time I make an appointment,” Alastor says. 

The tailor nods and hands off the garment bag as Alastor sinks into shadow, continuing on his route to Rosie’s. 

A few minutes of strolling later, he arrives at the dry cleaner’s and hands off his old coat. This specific cleaner was right on the outskirts of Cannibal town, and is one of Alastor’s favorite shops. 

“Good to see you sir,” the lady behind the desk calls as he leaves. “It will be ready in a few hours!”

Alastor continues down the street, and as he enters Cannibal Town proper, eyes begin to turn. The new coat is bringing in a significant amount of unexpected attention. It is quite the new fashion in town, but he hadn’t realized that it would elicit such a reaction from the residents. 

Even Susan didn’t yell at him as he passed. 

All this to say that he was filled with pride in his appearance when he entered Rosie’s tea shop. 

When Rosie’s eyes fell across him, she lit up in a smile. With an apology to the demon sitting at her table, she stands and waltzes towards Alastor. 

“My my, don’t you look dapper my dear,” she calls. “The new coat suits you quite well. It’s time for our appointment isn’t it?”

“Indeed it is my dear,” Alastor returns, reflecting her infectious energy. “I hope I did not pull you from anything too vital.”

“Come, Alastor, we have much to discuss,” She smiles, and together they walk through a door to a private balcony that overlooks Cannibal Town. 

A table and two chairs are set with high tea on the table between. 

“What tea have you chosen to try this week?”

“Oh, you know, just a basic black tea,” Rosie exclaims. “Need something a little easy on the lips, because so much else is happening.”

“So I’ve heard,” Alastor replies with a genuine smile. “We have much to discuss, it seems.”

“That we do.” Rosie smiles. "Did you hear about what happened down on 38th and Broad?"

The two sat at the table and spent the next few hours eating and chatting, watching over Cannibal Town as the stars grew brighter and brighter as the day wore into night. The sandwiches were refilled at regular intervals and the conversation flowed, covering all the gossip the two had heard from the week prior. 

Soon the time had come for Alastor to return to the hotel, and the two said their goodbyes, and planned the date for their next tea party. Alastor straightened his bowtie, and with a wave to Rosie, left to make the journey back to the hotel for dinnertime. 

[kai0shi]

[cjgoddardtheauthor]

I love them so much. They make me sick