Brian: We all have our demons. Brian, grabbing Roger: This one’s mine.

shark vs the universe

titsay
noise dept.
we're not kids anymore.
Show & Tell
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
d e v o n
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$LAYYYTER

Kaledo Art
dirt enthusiast
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

#extradirty

Andulka
Cosmic Funnies

ellievsbear
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from Lithuania
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seen from United States

seen from Netherlands
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seen from United States

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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
@clairedearing19
Brian: We all have our demons. Brian, grabbing Roger: This one’s mine.
Roger: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Brian: I’m worried about you.
Freddie: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.
Freddie: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.
Freddie: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?
Brian : This is Monopoly.
Freddie , Brian & Roger: *screaming*
John: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Brian?!
Freddie : Wait, why are you asking Brian that when Roger and I are also here?
John: Because Brian wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
Roger: Help! I’m drowning! Brian: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Roger: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!
Brian: How do you want your coffee? Roger: Black, like my soul. Brian: Brian: Roger, your soul is a latte.
Brian: We're having a baby. Adam: Oh, congratu- Roger, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.
by @Beetlemoses on twitter
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)
Owen no~ come here.
Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)
*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.
Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty
You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*
Noo, mine (I groan and leaned on you giving you a sloopy kiss on the cheek.) C'mon, give me my bottle, babe.
Nope you’re not getting it back
Please, babe. Pwease.
*Drinks all of it* You can have the bottle
No, no, no nooooo!!! I want what was inside that bottle! (Pouts) I grab another one. (Goes behind my minibar to grab another bottle but of vodka.)
Nooo don't! *Grabs your arm*
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)
Owen no~ come here.
Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)
*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.
Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty
You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*
Noo, mine (I groan and leaned on you giving you a sloopy kiss on the cheek.) C'mon, give me my bottle, babe.
Nope you’re not getting it back
Please, babe. Pwease.
*Drinks all of it* You can have the bottle
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)
Owen no~ come here.
Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)
*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.
Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty
You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*
Noo, mine (I groan and leaned on you giving you a sloopy kiss on the cheek.) C'mon, give me my bottle, babe.
Nope you’re not getting it back
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)
Owen no~ come here.
Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)
*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.
Heeey (I protested reaching for the bottle.) I’m thirsty
You can drink water. *Sips the bottle*
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)
Owen no~ come here.
Waaait, I’m getting my drunk juice (Giggles a d reaches the bar, taking the end of the bottle to my mouth.) Hello old friend… (Takes a large sip.)
*I walk over to you and snatch the bottle away from you* no more drinks for you.
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Aaaaauw! (whines like a 5 year old.) Fine… I’ll go get it. (I walk with wobbly legs, singing a song in Italian and out of tune, dragging the words and went to my mini bar with the intent of emptying that bottle of jack Daniels I left there.)
Owen no~ come here.
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
I’m not that type of hungry. I want tequila… Maybe whiskey? Can I have whiskey with coffee?taste really delicious.
You’re not getting anything with alchohol.
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk
Sssshhhhhh! You’re interrupting a moment with my wife. (Hips.) can I have more tequila? I’m a baby and I’m hungry.
Nope no more tequila for you. I can get you something to eat.
Claire: Our can opener is broken.
Owen: So it’s a can’t opener?
Claire: I can’t believe I married you.
(Chuckles drunkenly.)
Are you drunk-
Maybe~~~ (Giggles)
Ok that means yes
Maybe leads to lots of possibilities, babe.
Not in this case, I know you long enough to know that means yes
You know me like the palm of your hand? (Giggles and place a finger on your lips.) what was my teddy bear’s name. When I was a kid?
How am I supposed to know that??
See. You don’t know me that well. His name was Chief.
Well I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born.
Why you weren’t there? Why my mom didn’t invite you?
I didn’t knew you back then. I probably wasn’t even born
So that means I was born in a world without you? (I said with a sad pout and close to tears.) How—how did I survive without you??
No no you weren’t. I just came later in the world. Because you didn’t knew me so you couldn’t think about me or anything.
But but still you weren’t there and that makes me sad.
Awww don’t be sad. Come here baby. *Opens my arms for a hug*
(Leans on you for the hug.) But I’m sad… Why am I sad? You smell nice.
You’re sad because I wasn’t there when you were born. Awww thank you
Was I there when you were born?
You were already in this world but not literally in the hospital
Why not?
Because you didnt knew me yet
Such a tragedy! Let’s go back in time and fix that!
Aaaand how do you wanna do that?
(Frowns and thinks.) I don’t know… You have the brains right now.
I’m not a time traveler so I cant fix it
So let’s find a time traveler!
I don’t think those exist..
Tell that to Joshiiie~
Oh right.. still. We’re not going to change the history
We changed history by freeing those dinosaurs.
Pssst? Can I tell you a secret but you won’t tell my wife?
Yeah and that was a bad idea
I am your- *I stopped and smirked* sure
(Leans and gets close to your ear.. Pauses and smiles like an idiot.) I have a noodle in my pants. (Giggles.) also… Wait a minute. (Backs away, stares at you with a frown and touch your face.) Are you *hips* Claire Dearing?
Yes I know and I love that noodle. *Smirks* yes I am.
No, I have a real noodle. (Takes out a noodle from my pants pocket.) See… It’s a beautiful noodle.
(Gasps) my wife’s name is Claire Dearing too!! How’s that even posible?!
I- oh- Didnt expect that.. why do you have a noodle.. in your pocket?
Oh really? What a coincidence.
I don’t know… But I like it. Can I keep it?
I have to present her to you. I swear you’re identical twins!
Sure..?
I think that’s gonna be a lil hard
Yay! (Puts the noodle back in the packet.) Stay there, Mr noodie. Safe and warm.
Aaauw, why?
Hes such an adorable idiot when drunk
Well.. what if I tell you I am your wife?
(Gasp) But but then who I married?
To me
No way!
Yup. *Shows you the ring on my hand*
I’m your husband? (Takes your hand and stares at your ring in awe then at mine.) Babeeeee… You’re ring its so freaking beautiful. So you’re my wife? —how did o get the ring? It’s so beautiful.
Yes you are. You bought it.
How and when did I bought it? (Keeps staring at the ring, turning around you hadn in total awe.) It’s so beautiful. I have a really good taste.
With money and if I’m not wrong on the.. 9th of may. Yes it is and indeed you do.
WOOOOAH.
Can I keep your hand and ring?
No~ but you can hold my hand
Really?! Thank you!!! (Holds your hand but the decides to hug it.) I love you.
*Chuckles* I love you too and you’re adorable when drunk