Itâs been a few hours, youâve just been hanging there. Youâve been quiet, too quiet. Usually thereâs music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, youâre quiet. Your little sister, who doesnât normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what youâre doing. She assumes youâre taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. Youâre not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isnât playing and you arenât walking around. Youâre hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say âFinally, theyâre gone.â No, they will not say âIâm happy they did that.â No, they will not say âI never loved them anyways.â They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. Theyâll believe itâs all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they wonât feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. Theyâll think of you ever second. Theyâll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. Theyâll wish they could die too. Theyâll want to give up, just to be with you. They wonât be ever be happy again. They wonât smile. They wonât go back to their daily routine. Theyâll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. Theyâll think, but stay quiet. Theyâll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long itâs been, theyâll wake up to thinking theyâll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know youâre gone forever.
Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. Itâs supposed to be the other way around, but itâs not. Theyâll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their childâs funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didnât need you, or didnât care, are waiting in line to see you. They arenât waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. Theyâre waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.
Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Donât you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, wonât have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, wonât have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, wonât have a sibling anymore. Your pet, wonât have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, wonât feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, wonât have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didnât yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didnât meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.
Before you decide to take your life, think. Donât just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No oneâs life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, wonât have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but youâll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:
My ask is open, and Iâm always here. Iâll never judge you. Iâll try to help you.
If you are thinking of taking your life, call:
