I've Got Some Things to Do but I Don't Wanna Do 'Em @cleaninghouseiseasy - Tumblr Blog

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

I love this image immensely because first and foremost I find it incredibly funny to apply in dire situations. But second and second-most because on occasion, in certain circumstances, it represents a truth and gospel unmatched by any other statement on the internet.

maculategiraffe

it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good

for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade

bleedthebeat

don’t worry about it

regularhill

lacefuneral

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

creative-anchorage

suriandtaal

prokopetz

Sometimes you send something you found online to a friend because you want to brighten their day, and sometimes you send something you found online to a friend with the precise attitude and bearing of a cat very carefully lining up their paw with the back of another cat's head.

diacetylmorphine-android-deacti

slut

transmechanicus

loyal knight

hail-the-villainess

those are synonyms

libraford

Are YOU gonna let THE GOVERNMENT tell YOU what YOUR GENDER is? That doesn't sound like Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to me! PROTECT your individual FREEDOMS and call your senator: we want the GOVERNMENT to stay OUT OF OUR PANTS! GENDER FREEDOM NOW!

libraford

Two men in your neighborhood are married... to EACH OTHER? Congratulate them for exercising their AMERICAN RIGHT to follow the footsteps of our FOUNDING FATHERS! They've got a fully AMERICAN spirit of FREEDOM and REBELLION! GOD BLESS THE USA.

libraford

Your coworker has a different RELIGION from yours? Well, that's just INTERESTING and you should talk about it on your UNION-APPROVED LUNCH BREAK. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA was FOUNDED on Freedom of Religion and ANYONE should be allowed to seek the AMERICAN DREAM!

libraford

You think someone might be in this GREAT country ILLEGALLY? NO YOU DON'T! No one is in this country illegally! The minute anyone steps on our SOVEREIGN SOIL they're your FELLOW AMERICAN and where they come from is NO ONES BUSINESS.

rosslynpaladin

it's funny yeah, but guys this is actually how you reach the people who prefer these terms to frame all things Good and Correct.

rosszulorzott

maiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

@theshitpostcalligrapher please. Im beggin

theshitpostcalligrapher

oh i've done this one actually

beardedmrbean

thememedaddy

segamascott

synthetic-ultramarine

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

dailycatsblog

agnesmontague

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs