☾ * . clearwater

Take the mirror from the wall, so I can't see myself at all. Don't wanna see another damn inch of my skull. Forget the poems of s a i n t s & g h o s t s, I'm the one I fear the most. Little did I know that I was only crying wolf. Don't need a metaphor for you to know, I'm miserable . liana clearwater. twenty-three. hollywood.

[clearwvter]

clearwvter​:

* ╰ LIANA CLEARWATER // kiana madeira . female . she/her . actress . 

| broken in leather jackets , sand between calloused toes , burning lungs followed by smoky air , freshly inked skin . |

+ loyal

+ brave

+ hardworking

- abrasive

- sensative

- impulsive

Read More Now!

[vindctvewrites]

*♡ ˙ ˖ ✧･ﾟ  —  holiday ask meme  !  —  ･ﾟ✧ ˖ ˙ ♡ *

send  🎄 for  our  muses  to  decorate  the  christmas  tree  together .

send  🌿  for  our  muses  to  be  caught  under  mistletoe .

send  ⛄️  for  our  muses  to  build  a  snowman  together .

send  ❄️  for  our  muses  to  be  caught  indoors  due  to  a  snowstorm .

send  🛩  for  your muse  to  surprise  mine  by  making  it  home  for  the  holidays .

send  🍪  for  our  muses  to  bake  cookies  for  santa  together .

send  🎁  for  my  muse  to  try  &  guess  what  yours  got  them  for  christmas .

send  🙈  for  our  muses  to  stay  up  waiting  for  santa .

send  🥶️ for  our  muses  to  warm  up  by  cuddling  close  to  a  fire .

send  💝 for  my  muse  to  give  yours  a  handmade  gift .

[clearwvter]

remy .

Remy hated LA. He’d come for Iz, and because Hollywood seemed like a better gig than Washington. He had skills that only really had value in shitty parts of the world, and he wanted to stop getting shot at for a while. Or at least get shot at less, it was LA after all. 

“This coffee is shit.” Staring at what had claimed to be a cappuccino, Remy poured it directly into a garbage can and sighed. “I swear to God, if the Mexican food is crap too, I’m re-enlisting.”

why were people always talking to themselves... she was the one consistently on drugs, and yet everyone else was mumbling all the time at nothing in particular.  then again maybe the anxiety had something to do with her lack of audible self-talk. actually, she should probably adopt that coping mechanism instead of judging. and now she looked crazy, staring at the man talking to himself while having a whole conversation in her head. “it’s not,”  it was random and uninvited, but liana spoke up. “i mean, i’ve never had the pleasure of the authentic thing, but, it’s pretty good in my opinion.”

[clearwvter]

Mmmwhatchasay Theo is planning to propose to you

thank fuck it’s taken him long enough. tell him to let me know when he gets his wedding dress so i can rip it off of him

[clearwvter]

Mmmwhatchasay that weed was laced with some rad shit my brah

wait… which batch… because i definitely went through a lot over the holiday. 

[clearwvter]

theo .

theo let out a loud burst of laughter, her action surprising him–and maybe turning him on, just a little bit. he eventually got his finger back from her, tucking both hands into his pockets. “uh, cool, maybe we’ll work together.” he stumbled through the words, a little flustered by her teasing. theo caught sight of clem frantically waving at him from outside, giving her an expression of confusion before she mouthed something about the costume contest. “ah shit–alright, i gotta go my sister’s gonna have a fuckin cow if we miss the contest.” theo picked up cupcake, taking a bite and then deciding he wasn’t really into it. “liana, babe,” he called her attention, quickly smashing the cupcake into her mouth. “was that good for you too?” theo snickered, offering a playful salute before backing away to go out and meet clem. 

“mm... maybe,” liana smirked at him as he stumbled, glad he could take a joke, but also amused it had any kind of effect on him. she turned as he mentioned leaving, watching as the girl she had met earlier on in the night flailed. suddenly them being related made a lot of sense... especially once she put the costumes together. she watched the sister wave, the smile on her face growing bigger, eventually turning into a laugh. and then there was frosting all over her face before she could register what the hell had happened. “oh ha ha,” she deadpanned, her middle finger raising as he turned away. she wiped the dessert off her face before deciding that watching him would be more entertaining than anything else she could get into as high as she was at the time, and followed, finding a seat in the crowd.

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joseph .

The entire dare event left him feeling like utter shit.

Good thing there were distractions. Like, you know, a fat paycheck going straight to his account, and a birthday cake waiting for him at home. Another thing, too: Ruby had seemed to be doing a lot better. Okay, that wasn’t a high bar, but it took some weight off his shoulders. There was also being able to text Derek all night. Finally, someone to talk to about the horrifying prospect of coming out. Then what? He and Derek could fuck off somewhere, just for fun. And, Derek seemed to be handling his coming out fairly well, in spite of his circumstances.

Still, that didn’t get rid of something uncomfortable settling within him. On impulse, he pulled out his phone, drafted an apology text for Eloise in the Notes app. Typed it, retyped it, pulled back on his words, until he sent a version he was satisfied with (if satisfaction was possible here), and then deleted any text message threads he had with her, ever, on account that he didn’t want to see so much as a “Read at 3:01 p.m.” notification from her. Then, he sent her a few points along with a promise to just give her a bit of space.

And that would be the end of that. No talking to her ever again.

“Never imagined I’d be on the other side of the points system,” Joseph muttered to himself, looking at his phone. He didn’t even register the identity of anyone nearby at first. “This is fucking trippy.”

liana always seemed to be minding her own damn business when someone wanted to have a mental breakdown of sorts. she was flipping through scripts, a healthy - ha ha  - amount of coke running through her bloodstream and a half-smoked joint behind her ear when the mumbling started coming from her left. yeah, so maybe she was fucked, but maybe the pacing and the god awful whining was as annoying as the drugs were making it seem. she watched the kid type and retype a message, delete a few, and type even more. seemed pathetic... even if she was only getting the parts of the story she was hallucinating for herself. 

she flipped to the next page in her script, a horror-comedy that seemed rather promising, rather... gay. right up her ally. then the muttering again. 

“hey dude... what the fuck is the issue?” she wasn’t angry, her voice was calm. it was always a little lighter when she was coked up. “whatever message your sending is not worth all of that,” her hand raised from the script it was holding and gestured widely to his entire being. 

[clearwvter]

miranda .

“Hey, your identifier if whatever you want it to be.” Miranda shrugged with a smile on her lips. It was easy enough to slip more into herself with someone that Theo described as a cool chick. All it really meant was that she’d managed to make it through a conversation with the beautiful dummy. It was clear she was getting the once-over and her eyebrow quirked at the thought before taking the hand to shake it. “You too. I’m Miranda, don’t worry about not hearing about me. Most of the time I like it that way.” She took her hand back and let it rest in her lap. “You were at that Halloween party, right? The one at the rich dude’s house?”

she didn’t mind the one theo had so graciously given her, she’d honestly never put much thought into what she looked like to other people. liana smiled at her curiously, why is that? not into all of the attention?” she nodded, “i was... at least physically. mentally i was a little preoccupied,” she answered honestly. she remembered the evening, but definitely not enough to hold a conversation pertaining to what actually went down. “i was the one with the skateboard, popping up under tables and shit... hard to miss i assume.”  

[clearwvter]

miguel .

“Li-Li! That was the warning!” His words were followed by snickers, a face full of fun and specks of cocaine in the pores. He wrapped an arm around her immediately after she saddled up beside him, not taking any moment to think of it or afterwards. She was there! She was held! That was it. His hand rubbed at her upper arm as she talked and while he looked from the map to her face. “Yes, yes, yes! Very sad! I cried!” he lied. What was her name? Who knew! She was gone, gone, gone! “Come, come! We will take this!” His hand slipped away from her arm, traveling downwards to shake at the skateboard in her grasp a little with a teasing grin.

liana laughed, bumping her shoulder against his, “that was no warning bud.” she was warmed by his arms around her and she couldn't have been more thankful for him at the time. his tone was weird, she began to realize that he always talked that way... but it also sounded a bit ingenuine when in reference to a dead woman. his arm slipped away and she pouted a bit before throwing her board back onto the concrete. “alright, alright, do you wanna ride on my back or vice versa pope cardosa?”

[clearwvter]

joseph .

“Who said I wasn’t drunk?” Joseph had a drink here and there, at some point. He noticed the bits of grass in her hair and looked for any other signs of outside, wondering if she tripped or just drunkenly rolled in the grass minutes earlier. “Who are you supposed to be?”

“mm, for a drunkie you seem a little judgy,” liana pointed out, giggling at her unintentional rhyme. ah, what a loaded question, ‘supposed to be’. “depends on what exactly you’re asking. i’m a little high right now so you’re gonna have to elaborate.” she answered with a shrug. “like what am i dressed as? what did my mom want me to be when i grew up? what did i want to be when i grew up?” she was rambling, and she also didn’t care. 

[clearwvter]

eila .

“What?” Another stranger came to approach Eila tonight, this time with a rolled up cigarette. Eila stared at it. She didn’t know what was in it, nor could she guess from the smell, if she could even smell anything in her state. Eila’s eyes flitted up to the girl with an incredulous look.

Eila would have walked right past her, had she not now been awaiting an answer.

liana’s head cocked to the side, was the girl confused? she was literally holding a joint inches from her face. “uh... do you want some?” she asked again, not offering an explanation. “i mean if not i can fuck off, but you seem kinda sad...” she shrugged taking a seat on the curb herself. she took a hit, and then held it out again. “seriously, take it,” liana insisted, blowing the smoke in the opposite direction of the girl. 

[clearwvter]

girl u need a place to sit? cause my face is open aha

say that to my face and maybe we can ... talk 

[clearwvter]

miranda .

Miranda sat with her earbuds in, trying to ignore her annoyance from the stupid event and having to be stuck in a room with Joey washed up Naor for far too long. While she was trying to ignore absolutely everyone around her, there was a girl that caught her eye. From the looks of her, she matched a very detailed description that someone had given her a few days ago. She pulled one of the buds from her ear. “Liana, right?” It was probably weird for a stranger to be shouting at her but oh well. “Theo had one thing right, you do have the whole skater chick vibe.” 

@clearwvter​

making it out of the event alive was the greatest thing she’d achieved since arriving in hollywood thus far. everything else was grunt work that russell couldn’t care any less about. liana definitely worried that she didn’t meet his standards, but she wasn’t canceled, so that was good... right? she was taking in her surroundings, memorizing faces, and scoping out everyone’s reactions when she heard her name being called. her attention snapped to the left, revealing a blonde girl she hadn’t met yet. at the mention of theo, liana could feel her cheeks blush a bit. “yes, that’s me. is that my identifier now?” she asked, not that she would be mad if it were. scooting closer to the girl, she looked her over, they hadn’t met but she had seen her before on tv probably. she held out her hand, “nice to meet you.. sorry i can’t say i’ve heard about you..”

[clearwvter]

sarah .

“yeah i can see that.” still hadn’t prevented the run in. two people not paying attention in equal measure, she’d decided without a second thought. there were plenty of things that she took the blame for in life. this was not one of them. “you look real busy there.”

what was that supposed to mean... ‘yeah i can see that’? “if you could see that.. why didn’t you stop?” liana asked placing the blunt back between her lips. that was the logical thing to do when something was in your way, no? you move for cars, pedestrians, et cetera. that’s how it works. her eyes narrowed at them, her refusal to remove the blunt muffling her response, “thank you for noticing, was having a good time honestly. sorry you bumped into me and ruined it.”

[clearwvter]

neta-li .

Neta-Li’s eyes repeatedly shifted from the letter she was holding in her hand, confirming her place as a new member of Prometheus’s roster, and the coffee she held in the other. She felt herself being filled with a sensation she hadn’t been filled with in quite a while. Fear, dread, and the immense rush of excitement that came with them. Starting to walk out of the shop, she nearly ran into someone. Staring up at them after she caught herself she tried to find a good reply. “I am so sorry. I was just a bit um… self-absorbed yes? I apologize. And I hope that we will move past this soon. I am Neta-Li. It’s very nice to meet you!” She finished as she moved the letter to the hand with the coffee and offered her hand out for them to shake.

granted, liana was high. but she also prided herself on being pretty good at maintaining her composure even when she was under the influence. clearly, that didn’t apply to walking. she stopped short as soon as the other girl closed in on her, resulting in them stopping at almost the same time. she blinked a bit, still barely realizing what was going on even though was staring directly at this girl. “oh, no it’s fine... i should’ve been watching,” she replied even though the other girl was still apologizing. “we... uh... i mean i’m chill,” liana was never one to hold a grudge, especially not over a mutual mistake. she shook neta-li’s hand and introduced herself, though still confused about what was actually going on, “yeah.. liana, nice to meet you too... are you new around here?” 

[clearwvter]

jade .

“What does a girl have to do to get 190 points? I’m open to suggestions.”

“you’re certainly asking the wrong person... wish it was similar to money, i’d just get on the pole.”

[clearwvter]

sarah .

she knew she should have been watching where she was walking. the streets of la had proven themselves to be continually crowded, she’d taken the gamble with a side street though, eyes looking down at her phone as she read. at least until she collided with a person, shoulder jerking and her phone clattering on the concrete. “shit!” if it was shattered then she was so screwed. there went finishing that scene. “don’t you watch where you’re going?”

liana was minding her business, as per usual, airpods in her ears, a blunt in one hand and a chicken tender in the other. she wasn’t exactly walking anywhere, she had picked up an order from a dispensary and just needed peace and quiet while she finished her lunch and the alley behind the building happened to be an appropriate spot at the time. her eyes were on the ground as the bridge of a song played when the girl bumped into her. “whoa...” she mumbled, the smoke blowing through her lips. “me? i’m literally not moving.”