hello

[cat-memes-only]

[scarecrow-hero]

So Jack Black got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and was posing for pictures and 

[scarecrow-hero]

The face of a man who knew exactly what he was doing when they panned over his outfit.

[animatedtext]

requested by cleaverpun

[animatedtext]

requested by arealfuckinhoe

[animatedtext]

I have so many questions

[animatedtext]

requested by butlerkitty 

[snugglebummms-deactivated201901]

once my friends dog pissed on a flair pod and one of his friends found it and ripped it, blissfully unaware of the horror the resided within the pod.

[sleepingseagull]

kris what the FUCK

[animatedtext]

[todaysbird]

you: seagulls are evil winged rats >:(

me, who has seen the light and knows the peace the universe holds:

x

[snailkites]

For those curious: Ross’s Gull (Rhodostethia rosea), a dove-sized gull that lives in a tiny area of the Arctic. Notice the pink wash on the belly.

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

[deafmic]

yesterday after my procedure, while i was waking up from the anesthetic, i:

1. told every nurse and doctor that i loved them

2. dmed a bunch of my friends and told them i loved them

3. tried to @ everyone in my private discord server to tell them i loved them, failed, couldnt figure out how to ping everyone, and then sent a bunch of messages saying that i loved everyone

4. called picks twice to tell her that i loved her

5. while walking inside the house, barely able to stand and with bf holding me up, saw two people working on the house next door, said hi to them, told them i had surgery, and tried to tell them i loved them before bf dragged me inside. 

6. told my doctor, who i have to see next week, to his face, that i loved him

7. tried to call bf’s mom to tell her that i loved her, bf stopped me and told me she was at work. i then begged him to text her. 

i’ve come to the conclusion that i should not be allowed access to my phone while waking up from anesthesia and my mouth should probably be taped shut. however, the nurse who was taking care of me told me that i was her favorite patient of the day and she liked me a lot. she then put me in the car and i rolled down my window and went “bye i love you have a good day” and then begged bf to take me to mcdonalds so i could have a cheeseburger. 

[deafmic]

how could i forget about the tweets i made

also here’s some of the dms i sent my friends

i really should not have my phone until anesthetic wears off. 

[frogmp3]

please enjoy this video

[surreal--memes]

The time has arrived.

[Src]

[smashy-headcanons]

Personally, I headcanon that Master Hand challenged Joker to steal his own invite.

bjksgfhsdgfshg

[frderickchilton-deactivated2014]

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message

[frenchtugboat]

ABORT MISSION

[junglejames4322-deactivated2015]

This is fucking scary

[culttquheeen-deactivated2018122]

I dont get it..

[popsicle-prince]

@explainingthejoke

[explainingthejoke]

The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information.

The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone.

However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d.

Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details.

Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY

Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy!

This isn’t a joke. It is just cute.

[deadlykillerqueen]

[roronoa-deactivated20180902]

[shiftythrifting]

I don’t think I’m enlightened enough to doerstarbt this shirt.

[chorusofravenousangels]

WHAT PART OF shffsdi fffin ish shde chxni aiwe xsdh cix aside fffsdu asixu DON’T YOU DOERSTARBT

[nocakeno]

WHAT PART

OF

shffsdi fffin ish shde chxni aiwe

xsdh cix aside fffsdu asixu

DON’T YOU

DOERSTARBT

[raviizoe]

why does this shit have a buncha holes in this im dead