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I don’t think Trinity is actively suicidal. I don’t think she has a plan, I don’t think a safety assessment would get her put on a hold.

I think she has passive suicidal ideation. I think her brain will spark “man what if I killed myself” and then quiet, “this amount of pills would probably do it”, “glad this’ll be someone else’s problem when I finally get around to offing myself”. Insidious and flammable.

Trinity doesn’t WANT to kill herself. She just knows the option is there. She could.

apricustar

I get Santos still feeling raw and negative towards Langdon, but she did deserve some of the chewing out when he yelled at her. He shouldn't have yelled, yes. He immediately got Robby on his ass for it. I just.. everyone's talking about it like it's a much bigger deal and I don't get it, your rude guy higher-up yelled at you and then disappeared for ten months, like are we still holding onto the grudge here

you know i'm actually really sick of people minimizing trinity's experience with langdon; it was a big deal! reducing the situation to 'a rude guy yelled at her,' ignores basically ALL of the narrative! this was not a single outburst, not a momentary lapse—it was an entire shift defined by a senior resident who was stealing and tampering with medication, and who spent that same shift publicly humiliating an intern, undermining her judgment, and reframing her instincts as incompetence.

langdon spends the day establishing and asserting dominance over santos. every correction, every remark, is a performance of authority. he doesn’t pull her aside; he doesn’t teach privately. he corrects her in front of staff, in the middle of the treatment room, raising his voice, letting frustration dictate tone. she is arrogant, she is reckless, she is an intern—those are the labels he throws like weapons. some of it could be framed as teaching—sure, interns make mistakes—but langdon consistently chooses humiliation over instruction. every reprimand reinforces the hierarchy: he is the senior resident, she is the intern, and the distance between them is a line he actively enforces. initiative becomes insubordination; independent judgment becomes arrogance. the message is simple, brutal, and unambiguous: step outside my authority and you will be put back in your place–publicly and relentlessly. this is weaponized hierarchy at its finest. he poisons the well, ensuring that if santos ever raises a concern, it will be filtered through the bias he has constructed—the bias of her being 'difficult.' it is preemptive discrediting, exact and strategic.

and then there is the vial of lorazepam. a small, quiet moment, the kind that could have passed without incident. the cap doesn’t open for her, something feels off, so she asks a question. langdon shuts it down immediately. it’s not the vial that’s the problem, he tells her—it’s her, she’s an intern, she doesn’t understand. ordinary condescension, if you ignore the fact that the vial has been tampered with, that langdon himself altered it. in hindsight, the moment is no longer dismissal but projection. framing her confusion as incompetence now ensures that any concern she raises later will carry the same stain. this is classic gaslighting: the victim’s perceived incompetence becomes the answer to a problem the perpetrator created.

as the shift unfolds, her instincts keep circling the irregularities, and langdon’s tone shifts with them. irritation sharpens into dismissiveness, dismissiveness hardens into defensiveness, defensiveness flares into visible anger. he is no longer correcting an intern; he is containing a threat. the hierarchy carries most of the weight. she is junior. pressing too hard risks insubordination, backing off leaves the problem unspoken. and through it all, she is right.

by the end of the shift, the truth emerges in full: langdon has been diverting controlled medication, tampering with patient supplies, creating exactly the discrepancies she noticed. the resident who spent the day labeling her reckless, undermining her perception, and eroding her confidence is the same person whose misdeeds she was trying to flag.

from trinity’s perspective, the narrative is stark: she does her job, is publicly humiliated, notices irregularities, and the very person who tells her she doesn’t know what she’s doing is the one responsible. her instincts were correct, her observations accurate, her judgment sound. most tellingly, she does not storm into someone’s office with accusations. she tests the waters, approaches other superiors, gathers information cautiously. it is only when robby pulls her aside, after witnessing langdon’s temper firsthand, that she articulates the discrepancies—and even then, he must coax it out of her!

this is not ‘holding a grudge because a superior yelled.’ this is the fallout of a calculated, dangerous power dynamic: a person entrusted with authority spent the day discrediting the one closest to the truth, gaslighting her, undermining her perception, and manipulating the lens through which her observations would be judged. that does not disappear because he vanishes for ten months! it lingers and it is insidious! and it cannot—and should not—be ignored or trivialized.

li4r

zegalba

Xiao by Erika Kamano (2023)

dumpitos

AURA.

horseimagebarn

horse in its stall completely covered up to the neck by hay and straw this horse is the very definition of cozy and seems to have no intentions of moving anytime soon