The Adventures of Me.

Marathoner. Figure skater. Wolverine. Wordpress: https://running4purple.wordpress.com/

[taquito]

the cashier asked me how im gonna pay like in terms of cash or card and i just said “money” cause i meant cash and she went “thats how it works”

[deaddolin]

im the cashier

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

My patronus is just a really chunky raccoon. Just a big, fat little bro. Just an absolute unit.

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

“EXPECTO PATRONUM-”

[onlytwitterpics]

[xeppeli]

sigmund freud made all that shit up for the views

[homoz]

Everyone Wants to Fuck Their Mom (NOT CLICKBAIT)

[peakvirgo]

[silkjpg-deactivated20180521]

why does it feel like I’m in a race with every 18-25 yr old on earth and I’m losing

[domoinjapan]

the slappening

[fungoidfred]

synchronized slapping class

[zagreus]

[the-art-of-the-meme-deactivated]

[worldofthecutestcuties]

[fruitsgardens]

my children have too many legs .. but they are handsome and strong

[mrboifriend]

[gharibajameel]

SMASH MOUTH BEEFS WITH DJ KHALED OVER EATING PUSSY

[gharibajameel]

RIGHT HERE ON TWITTER WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT

[cwote]

Make your dreams a priority. Make your mental health a priority. Make your relationships a priority. Make your happiness a priority. Make yourself a priority.

[theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly]

oh gods my boyfriend isn’t home and I forget the english word for this thing and it’s bAD he usually helps but i cAN’T

[boslynboypunk]

I WILL ASSIST?

[theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly]

you know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes homes sometimes because it gets too big for it?? what is it???

[mavros-lykos]

Hermit crab??

[theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly]

THAT’S THE BITCH

[sealedbeastnue]

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”

[obovoid]

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“There are people less qualified than you doing the things you want to do simply because they decided to believe in themselves. Period.”

— Unknown

[steddiely]

Me, a disgraced academic turned farmer, surveying my crops: Finally… I am out standing in my field