Queen E @clitoralqueen - Tumblr Blog

elysiumcalled

We should fuck, order food and then nap together

zackisontumblr

i have 3 moods:

skips every song on my ipod

lets the music play without interruption

plays the same song on repeat for days

pseudologla

What’s an iPod?

zackisontumblr

been on tumblr so long my text post is outdated…

xxtc-96xx

bewilderduck

This was me yesterday when I saw someone thinking paint 3D was the original MS paint

zackisontumblr

they thought what…

zackisontumblr

my favorite thing about this post is that it originally started like this but someone snuck in another bullet along the way when you could still edit other people’s posts. the depth. the history. the tumblr lore. mystery author, i know you’re out there somewhere…

dangered

anxietyproblem

cheruib

the moon? a very good friend. very supportive and lovely. always ready to listen to me,, thank u moon

anxietyproblem

cuteautumn

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

tomatoreddsworld-deactivated201

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

derranger-deactivated20220102

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

imokube-deactivated20240203

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

mr-freezo-42069-inactive

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

hallowed-be-thy-ween

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

jrcbouillabaisse

mage-pie

i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.

of-the-yellow-ajah

And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.

pawprins

are you satan

tastefullyoffensive

“Most Awful Sleeping Face in Japan” (photos by @mino_ris/via neebus)

sterlingkato

I can’t not reblog this. I tried… impossible.

dmmeeble

Not to sound dramatic but I would die for this cat.

becherdireinen

bastille is correct. how AM i gonna be an optimist about this?

fuck-customers

What is the point of wearing a mask if you lift it up and STICK YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH TO SEPARATE BILLS?!

insomniac-arrest

finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

insomniac-arrest

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise*

what-even-is-thiss

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

Periods

Bad backs

Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned

Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems

Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less

Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now

Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing

durzio

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.