recording my existence through cringe

[clizierose]

f*ckin resumes be like-

[clizierose]

I've been constantly told how to write stories and the way not to start them. Well fuck you, im starting it off with a dream sequence. Go cry me a river on the worlds smallest violin you unpeeled poop-veined shrimp

[clizierose]

I have realized lately that I have freewill and dear God is it cathartic to blow bubbles in my chocolate milk and not be reprimanded for it

[clizierose]

In bed staring at the ceiling when my brain decides to recall a most recent holiday family party where my cryptid step cousin gets me stimming and being neurodivergent together when the family gift game is coming up and she goes "I don't really want to sit on the floor, legs too long" or something of that manner and mind you she's really tall, like she gives Bigfoot vibes but a mixture of a nessie and that one mothman from hellboy comic kind of personality . So clearly she's not gonna have a good seat except on the floor so me trying to be helpful I say "well why dont you sit criss-cross applesauce? " and she just stares at me strangely before saying "you...really just said the whole thing, huh?"

And I look at her thinking well how else am I going to say it? Does everyone not say it like that? How else would I have gotten it across of how exactly to sit better on the floor?

She's weirded out by it (mind you she's weirder than me but probs cause she has the liberty to by how she's always constantly being perceived as. Unlike myself, in which i am super peanut butter jealous of) but i only realize at this very moment that she was indeed sitting criss-cross applesauce at the gift game on the floor.

But I still cant get it out of my head, does no one else say criss-cross applesauce regularly?? It cant really be that weird, right?

[clizierose]

Tina fey can now order from the senior menu at ihop.

[clizierose]

I've recently had to come to terms with this undeniable fact: The minecraft golems are actually really hot and the live action movie only made them hotter.

[clizierose]

Drinking homemade dalgona coffee for the first time and You honestly CANNOT tell me that the host club didn't capitalize on commoners coffee when haruhi introduced them to "whipped coffee" which they called Dalgona coffee to make it more appealing to the rich kids.

[clizierose]

Realized I got that tumblr rot this morning when my starbucks drink didn't taste very good and when my mom offered to give me hers I had meant to say "I'll make due" but what came out of my mouth instead was "it's okay, I'll make peace with my god."

So yeah, highlight of my morning insomnia. Off to a great start today.

[clizierose]

look at her go!