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orthotorres·:

         if neither of them cared, the conversation would’ve never happened. if there was nothing left between them, no spark would’ve started this raging fire that burned between them. it was scary, but truth be told, it was almost anticipated for the latina. she’d come back for so many reasons, but her heart screamed others that her mind would’ve never touched.     ❝  all i’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. i’m not some monster that wants you to keep hurting. i never wanted you to hurt. i mean, i did for awhile after you hurt me, but i don’t want that anymore. i haven’t for a long time.  ❞     she’d grown from that hateful, guarded person. she’d used her time away for good, even if that was hard for the blonde to believe.     ❝  i want this more than anything. i’ve spent the past year of my life wondering where the hell i went wrong. i miss you, arizona, okay? i miss you. i miss this hospital. i miss meredith freaking grey out of all people. i miss this place and i am not, i am not going to take this away from sofia again. she needs you and she needs us.  ❞     swallowing hard, callie’s head dipped for a moment, allowing her time to brush at the tears that stained her tanned cheeks.     ❝  i screwed up when i took our daughter across the states. i get that, but i’m back and i’m not going anywhere. i’m not leaving again, arizona.  ❞

        maybe she should’ve found some sort of comfort in the fact that at the root of all of this fighting, there must be something more. neither callie nor arizona were the kind of people caught wasting their breath on an argument that didn’t deserve to be fought over — something they weren’t horribly passionate about. but all the realization did was make the tears fall quicker & her restraint completely d i s s o l v e. things were so complicated now, it felt almost impossible that they could ever go back to anything even resembling normalcy. “ & i have not, for a single second since i’ve known you, found my happiness in doing anything without you. sure, there were times when i was angry & times when i was miserable while we were together — but it was also the only time i felt genuine happiness. & now you’re back & i missed you so much, callie, i really did, but — i’m scared you’re going to pack up & leave again. maybe not the state, maybe not even the town, but you’ll leave me. i’ll do something short of perfect & you’ll check out & i’ll be stuck starting over again, ” she exhales shakily, pausing momentarily to regain her composure before continuing. “ i’m happy you’re back, callie. i missed you & i missed sofia. i just need you both to be back for good. ”

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ktcddy·:

          “ he’s going through chemotherapy & on a bunch of medications. ”     he says, reaching for one of the shots that the waitress walks by with. he’s quick to down it & slam the shot glass down onto the counter top as the liquid burns on the way down.     “ yeah, it does suck. it sucks a lot. ” 

         “ well that’s good, at least. having someone who doesn’t want to get help for themselves is the worst, ” she thinks back to dr. herman & how close she’d been to losing her, how scared she’d been. she couldn’t imagine going through that a second time. offering her friend a sympathetic smile, she downed a shot herself, hoping to catch up. “ you know — we’ve worked together for a while now. you know how i like my charts, you know where i want you to stand during surgeries, you’re my favorite scrub nurse — but i hardly know anything about you. so, tell me about you, teddy. hopes, dreams, romantic pursuits, family drama, go ! ”

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drscng·:

      even though mirae was passive, it didn’t mean that she agreed with everything her colleagues did. there were those that were set on pushing her in the wrong way, frustrating her further on a bad day but it wasn’t like she was going to say anything that couldget her into trouble. she wasn’t a type a personality and was so sure that she could make it without losing her soul along the way; she was beginning to think that she was mistaken and that was her idealism at its finest. “thanks for that.” now she was being sarcastic. sighing, the woman shook her head. “i’m not a quitter.” maybe she should have been…

        cassidy took her small victory in the form of knowing that she was at the very least irritating the other girl. it had become something of a game to her at this point — pushing people’s buttons, confusing them, leaving them unsatisfied. mirae just happened to be the closest person to her & an unfortunate casualty of her morning. “ everyone’s a quitter. everyone has that breaking point where they just ... give up. what’s yours, dr. song ? too many hours in the e.r. ? work too hard ? not enough time off to knit & watch netflix ? ”

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orthotorres·:

          the distant yell of her ex-wife was enough to know that a storm was brewing in her wake. they didn’t walk away from each other, not when so much passion and anger consumed them whole. no, callie would deal it, but only because her hand would be forced to do so. no, if she had it her way, she’d do every chart and treat every patient from the safety of the on-call room, just for the day. except, she didn’t get what she wanted, not then, and especially not now.    ❝  please don’t scold me like a child, arizona.  ❞     god, why did she make her so angry?     ❝  do you really want to know why i came back? why i jumped at the first chance to get back in this hospital? this is the hospital i met my husband at, well, ex-husband. first marriage. this is the hospital i met my absolute best friend and the father of our child at. this is the hospital that saved my life after our accident. this is the hospital i met you at, arizona. i get that you can’t wrap your mind around me having to leave this place, because you think that it was all about you. i lost george and i lost mark. i lost you after the crash and i just couldn’t stay here knowing that every person i’ve ever loved has died in some sense of the word. the arizona that loved would’ve never cheated. she would’ve never blamed me for what happened. so yeah, i left. i ran and i ran as far away as i could possibly get. now i’m back, because despite everything i’ve lost, you’re still here. sofia needs her mothers. she needs you and maybe, maybe i need you too. which is really stupid on my part. we’ve been separated for years and here i am, pissed that you’re pissed at me for coming back, because i wanted to be closer. i wanted to be closer and i’m sorry i didn’t have the guts to tell you.  ❞

        callie’s accusation does nothing but exacerbate her anger & she has no idea what it is about the other woman that can make her temper flare up like this. no one — not alex karev or dr. stark or a hundred incompetent interns — could make arizona act up the way callie did. she had no control over her emotions when it came to her ex-wife & to be honest, it absolutely t e r r i f i e d her. “ i’d be much gentler if i was scolding a child. i’m scolding you like an ex-wife, who, for whatever reason, craves my misery like a freaking drug ! ” & she knows that’s not true, knows callie doesn’t take much pleasure in arizona being miserable, but it feels like the words are just tumbling out of her mouth & none of them taste right. “ okay, callie, i get it. a lot of really good things happened here. i’ve met tons of patients that i’ll never forget, i molded who i’m sure will be our next head of pediatric surgery, i’ve witnessed some pretty fantastic miracles — & one of those was meeting you. raising our child. but a lot of bad things happened, too. i lost my marriage, the privilege of seeing my kid every day, my leg. this place gave me everything, but it took it all back a hell of a lot quicker than i thought it would. but i stayed, callie. when everything i loved left, i stayed. & if this is really what you want, i need you to stay, too. no more running. just, please, slow down for once. for sofia. for you. for me. i really need you to slow down, ” she’s not quite sure how, but nearly all of the anger in her body has dissipated, leaving behind a rigid sadness that causes a rogue tear to slip from her eye. she quickly swipes at it, looking away from callie to keep the rest at bay. “ & maybe i’m not the arizona you married, but i’m still me. i might have made some mistakes, calliope, but i would have followed you across the universe. ”

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tinyscrubs·:

❝ i think i’ll pass , ❞ her nose scrunched up , a look of disgust etched on her features , ❝ i think it’s best to keep your bedroom life and work life separate . ❞

“ spoken like a true virgin, ” she’s messing with her, trying desperately to quell the boredom of a long, scut-filled, surgery-less shift. “ live a little. what do you say we hit the next on-call room ? really show them how it’s done ? ”

[clndcstine]

tinyscrubs·:

agnes was still getting used to the quirks and antics of grey sloan , and her eyebrows raised ( out of both surprise and entertainment ) as the attending waltzed right into the room agnes had warned her about . ❝ wow , ❞ agnes smiled as she watched the two doctors scurry out as they were still pulling their scrubs back on . ❝ does that happen very often ? ❞

arizona allows a slight satisfaction to curl the ends of her lips into a small smile, pleased with the effectiveness of her words alone. she remembered being an intern herself — the powerlessness of it all. it was nice to actually be able to get things done. “ more often than you’d think — & the trick is to make them uncomfortable. if you really need to get in there, just make your presence known. speak really loudly, put some more force behind your steps, take your time. odds are they’ll get sick of waiting you out & go somewhere equally as debaucherous. ”

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orthotorres·:

she can feel the eyes of everyone around them, all worried about the relationship or lack thereof shattering before them. these were doctors, doctors were supposed to fix things, not break them.      ❝  i’m not doing this here, arizona. i’m not. i’m not doing this with you and i’m not doing this with every other person that thinks this is a free show. so no, arizona, i’m not doing this right now and i will not be lectured about the choices i’ve made for our daughter. you don’t get to scold me like a child. you knew what i was doing and you supported me on that. i can’t,  ❞     she muttered, lips pursed as she turned on her heels, dark hues focused on the on-call room for which she silently prayed to be empty. she couldn’t do this with arizona, no, she couldn’t. just as she’d hoped, the room was empty. her entire body felt like it’d been lit aflame, anger mixed heartbreak daring to burn her alive. why the hell had she even bothered coming back?

& arizona can actually feel the sting of r e j e c t i o n prickling at the back of her neck, leaving her face flushed & her expression wild. she takes a moment to scrutinize the faces around her, most just staring, some whispering & snickering. “ oh, what are we, in high school ? everyone get back to work. now, ” the venom in her tone surprises even her, but they all seem to snap out of their arizona & callie trance & promptly return to their jobs — at least for the moment. & arizona’s not finished with this conversation, not by a long shot, so the small blonde stomped after her ex-wife, following her footsteps into an otherwise empty on-call room. “ calliope iphegenia torres, ” she scolds, arms crossed as she stands in the doorway. “ i am sick of you running away from me. i’m sick of the ‘ i can’t ’s & the constant feeling of being left at the altar. i get that fighting with me at work, of all places, isn’t ideal — but i need you to stop running away from me. now, i don’t have another surgery for the next few hours & if you do, i suggest you have them rescheduled because we are not leaving this on-call room until we can be civil to one another. ”

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greyxmer·:

“bailey? no, why would bailey come up with that when it’s her birthday party?” mer shook her head. “I came up with that. we should throw a party here. a mini party. maybe just raise our glasses with non-alcoholic champagne.” talking about it out loud, she was slowly getting down with her idea. “maybe the phase will come. it’s a sign of being cool. everybody wants to be cool, right? I hope you will do that now with your kid patients.”

“ ooh, so it’s a surprise party ! ” she squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. “ non-acoholic champagne sounds perfect. let richard know & i’ll take care of the rest of the attendings, ” things had been understandably bleak in the world of grey sloan memorial hospital as of late & the idea of something fun that didn’t involve the risk of life & death sounded absolutely heavenly to arizona. “ yeah, sure, when you’re like four — i think sofia’s gotten a little too old for that. no offense. but i will definitely be trying it with the tinier humans i work on. ”

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tinyscrubs·:

                ❝ i wouldn’t go in there if i were you . apparently the supply closet is now a bedroom . ❞ 

        “ well, maybe you should join in. you seem a little tense, you could probably use some bedroom activities. ”

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tinyscrubs·:

                ❝ i wouldn’t go in there if i were you . apparently the supply closet is now a bedroom . ❞ 

        “ jesus. thanks for the warning, but i can take care of it, ” & without much thought towards what she may see behind the closed door, arizona yanks it open — only to find the hospital’s couple of the week scrambling to cover their extremities. “ we have an on call room for stuff like this, you know. some people actually need to use this room, ” she scolds them, noticing that they’ve now frozen in their places. “ okay, let me say it another way: get out. ”

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xojo·:

‘ There comes a point when you have to suck it up and stop whining and start living. ‘

“ thank you for the life advice, dr. wilson, but i really don’t think that applies here. ”

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ktcddy·:

          SHE CARES. SHE DESERVES TO KNOW.     part of him wanted to spit out that he was patient x but he just couldn’t. not now. not tonight here at joe’s.     “ yeah, i’ll speak to him & see what his course of action is, whether he wants to come to grey sloan & follow through with procedures & stuff. ”     he says, nodding his head, putting on a fake smile as if he wasn’t the one with cancer.     “ stomach cancer. ”     he tells her as his hand moves to his stomach.     “ he’s been in a lot of pain lately. ”     his eyes revert to the ground as he tries to ignore the pain in the pit of his stomach. 

        “ when was he originally diagnosed ? ” & if she can’t help in the operating room, she wants to at least get all of the information now. although stomach cancer is one of the more aggressive forms, it could definitely be worse — depending on just how long teddy’s friend has let it stew. “ is he undergoing any kind of treatment ? chemo, radiation, any medications ? because if not we definitely need to get him started on that asap, ” she’s being overly doctorly right now when he needs a friend & luckily, she’s able to catch herself this time. “ i’m really sorry, teddy. it sucks — seeing a friend in pain & knowing you can’t help. it’s one of the worst feelings. ”

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drscng·:

    on a typical day, the resident could hold back her sigh but at this moment, it decided to escape her. shutting her eyes, mirae shook her head. “please can you not jest with me right now. i can’t tell of your intentions and in all hoesty, i don’t want to.” the woman knew the other was trying to get under her skin slightly and it was working. “this is a workplace and i have been here for too long. we live here. why did we choose to live here?” her tired brain was going into overdrive and it was times like this that she wanted to walk away and have a long deserved sleep.

“ who’s j e s t i n g ? ” her tone dripped with sarcasm, unable to put aside her abrasiveness for even a moment. her lack of compassion for others may very well be her undoing — but for the moment, cassidy only found amusement at the other’s blatant irritation. “ uh, because we’re doctors ? we all knew what this would be before we started med school — if you can’t take it, you should probably quit now, ” & maybe mirae should have gone to someone else, because cassidy is uncouthly bad at offering sympathy.

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greyxmer·:

“okay, so it’s a deal.” meredith smiled and in that excitment, she raised her arm, made a fist and wanted to bump with them. but they didn’t seem to be so interested. “what? it’s a sign of agreement. my kids think it’s cool." 

arizona stared at the woman’s closed fist, a bemused expression on her face. “ did bailey come up with that ? ” she asked, finally appeasing the other by allowing their fists to meet. “ sofia never had that phase, but i have to admit, it’s kind of awesome — in a lame, you probably shouldn’t do that to anyone else at the hospital kind of way. ”

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ktcddy·:

          TEDDY SMILES SOFTLY AT HER & nods his head.     “ thank you robbins. ”     he says before taking another sip to finish off his whiskey as he listens to her talking about having the best doctors. it was true, grey sloan had some of the words best doctors. a part of him felt bad about lying to her, because for the most part he was always honest. arizona was his favorite doctor at the hospital after all. but this was something he didn’t want people know. not yet at least.     “ yeah, you’re right. i’ll definitely tell him to come to grey sloan for a consultation. ”

        & it’s one of those very rare moments in which arizona wished she’d chosen to do general surgery. she loves peds, but on cases so close to home like this, she wants nothing more than to be involved. “ i can get dr. bailey to check him out — oh & i know this great radiologist i can get him set up with. what kind of cancer is it ? ” & she’s asking too many questions, getting too far ahead of herself, but this part of arizona — the part that cares so desperately — can’t be helped.

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orthotorres·:

        welcome back!    if there wasn’t so much emotion behind their words, callie knew the argument would’ve never taken place. it made her feel a bit better to know they both cared so much, but a reminder of the past was always like adding salt to a wound. it burned to be reminded of why she’d done everything, but in part, it hurt to know they’d both moved on, or had at least tried to.    ❝  maybe i am still hurt. maybe i do still get pissed sometimes when i look at our daughter and think about what went wrong. our marriage was epic, arizona, it was totally badass in all the right ways until it wasn’t and maybe that’s my fault. i get that you needed someone to blame and i was that person. i’ve always been that person. all i ever wanted was for us to work out, arizona, i did. i tried so hard to make it work, because i needed you and because our child needed you, but i couldn’t. i couldn’t let go of the fear that if something went wrong again, you’d cheat. or if i wasn’t good enough, you’d cheat. so, i’m sorry that i couldn’t just push all of that aside and pretend like that didn’t change everything for us, because it did. and maybe leaving wasn’t the best option, but staying here and seeing you every single day wasn’t a good option either. i screwed up, but i’m back, arizona, and i don’t want to fight you on this. i’m tired of fighting you.  ❞     she wasn’t quite sure when she’d teared up, but the single tear that stained her cheek was enough to remind her of their surroundings and just how many people had stopped to stare.

         by now they’ve garnered quite the audience — nurses & doctors & patients alike have all stopped to watch their spectacle. & it was just like old times. arizona may have missed callie — more than she’s willing to admit, even to herself — but she definitely didn’t miss this. she didn’t miss being watched like a caged zoo animal, an endless source of entertainment for all walking by as her emotional baggage was aired out in the open. still, that didn’t make her stop. “ no, you know what ? stop trying to play the martyr. i wanted to make it work just as much as you did — i wanted to make it work more than you did ! i stayed, callie. i did the therapy & i let you use me as your punching bag because i knew i deserved it for what i did to you, but i stayed. this time, i stayed & you ran away. you moved thousands of miles away & i stayed. & i honestly don’t know what you’re expecting out of this because the reason you left is still here. i’m still here & i’m not going anywhere. just that fact alone made you run off to new york last time, so i don’t know how you’re going to deal with it now but i will tell you one thing — you will not be dragging our daughter across the country again. i don’t want to fight with you either, but i want us to be absolutely clear on that. ”

[clndcstine]

orthotorres·:

         don’t you dare cry.     this isn’t a battle she wants to fight, but walking away isn’t an option when it comes to arizona. they’re tethered, tied by a daughter that keeps them from falling apart. or maybe they’re tired by something more, something neither of them would probably want to admit to.    ❝  you want to talk about about packing up and calling it quits? you do remember that our marriage ended because you decided to sleep with someone else because i saved your life. if you really want to talk about running when things get hard, i think maybe a little self-reflection might go a long way. i know that my daughter is confused. i know she didn’t understand what the hell was happening when we moved away in the first place, but she’s happy to be back. she’s happy because she gets to see you without the talk of a plane ticket. she gets both of her mothers, so yeah, arizona, i thought about our daughter before i made this decision. i made this decision for our daughter, because she deserves to have both of my moms. if you were worried about hurting her, maybe you shouldn’t have cheated. so please, don’t tell me how my actions affect our child when your actions started this.  ❞

        & with that, callie’s return reminds arizona that she will never escape her mistakes. despite the piece of arizona that callie took with her when she left for new york, the blonde found some form of solace in starting over. she could finally escape the stigma of the adulterous ex-wife. but now the confirmation was clear — callie was back & she’d be reminding arizona of what she’d done every day. “ okay, i slept with someone else ! i did. i slept with someone else & that was horrible of me to do but i am sick of you punishing me for it. i have been punished enough, callie. i lost e v e r y t h i n g. i had a beautiful marriage & a happy daughter & a loving, amazing family & i lost it all. we lost mark — i lost my leg, calliope. & then i lost you & then you took sofia to new york & i had absolutely nothing. i made an awful, terrible mistake, but i have been punished enough for it. so you have got to let go of this anger you have towards me if we’re ever going to be civil — you can’t keep bringing this up during every argument we have. i’m sorry that i cheated on you. i will never stop being sorry but i am going to stop saying it. because we’ve talked about it & talked about it some more & i am done talking about it. it happened & i am sorry but i can’t — i can’t keep apologizing to you, callie. you can choose to accept my apology or you can harbor resentment towards me for the rest of your life, but we need to be civil. for sofia’s sake. ”