sum. sukuna's wife has been diagnosed with a form of Alzheimer's leaving her only a few months to live
˚⊱ ❀ ⊰˚ cw. depictions of Alzheimer's disease, childhood friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, major character death, grief/mourning, suicidal ideation, fluff, domestic life, eventual smut (including period sex), they are so so in love, softkuna (possibly ooc but also the love of his life is dying so)
˚⊱ ❀ ⊰˚ an. hihi this is my entry for @sweethearticism's brutal bakery event. did i want this to all be one post? yes, but i unfortunately reached the max amount of blocks allowed so here we are. anyways i cried a lot writing this but that's mainly in the next part lol which should be out in abt three days or so
˚⊱ ❀ ⊰˚ wc. ~14k
Sukuna knows what everyone in town thinks of him.
Cold, cruel, or something in between.
A man carved from stone, all sharp edges and silent and piercing glares. They whisper it when he passes on the street — that he never smiles, that his eyes are too hard, that he makes people uneasy without saying a word.
They aren't wrong.
But they also aren't right.
What no one knows—or maybe what no one cares to know—is why he is the way he is.
Why he moves through the world with that distant, hollow steadiness.
Why his temper runs thinner now, why he snaps quicker, why he doesn't bother to soften his expression anymore.
They don't know that this morning you were laying on top of him, practically taking up the entire bed and sequestering in him in a tiny space.
Snoring softly, drooling a little on his chest.
Sukuna groggily muttered to you to move over because he was falling off the edge — half-asleep, you told him to shut up.
That made him crack one eye open, a devious smirk spreading as he grabbed his phone and scrolled through.
Right as you fell asleep again, he played an alarm that sounded like sirens — blasting into your ears.
Your eyes flew open and he laughed — until you jolted so suddenly that he finally lost his balance and both of you went toppling onto the ground, dragging the tangled bedsheets along with you.
Of course he was the one who absorbed the impact.
He groaned, a dull pain in his back. "What're you trying to do — get me paralyzed for life?"
"What were you trying to do — give me a heart attack?" you shot back.
"Alright, we're getting up."
"Wait, no," you giggled, "Just a bit longer…Isn't it kind of comfortable down here?"
"Comfortable for you because you're using me as a mattress," he muttered with a roll of his eyes.
Though his tone was already softening with fondness; you had a way of doing that to him.
Just like that his fingers were stroking your hair, and you went quiet — eyes fluttering shut as you actually fell asleep again.
On top of him, on the floor.
Maybe a little while longer wouldn't hurt…
Then Sukuna woke with a jolt, sweating.
Instant heaviness sunk into his stomach, so heavy he felt like it would tear his organs apart.
Next to him was an empty space on the bed, nothing but a scruffy cat snoring away at his feet.
Because you died six months ago.
For as long as he'd known you — even in childhood — forgetfulness had been stitched into your nature.
Adults would sigh at you, call you "careless", chide you for misplacing simple objects, for losing things moments after picking them up.
Absentminded, they said.
Scatterbrained.
Words tossed off casually, sometimes even affectionately.
Then by way of you moving away, life separated you both — year, towns, chapters of your lives unfolding without each other — until one day as adults you stood face-to-face again as though no time had passed at all.
And that imperfect part in your design had remained unchanged.
Diagnosed with ADHD at seventeen, is what you told him, laughing.
It made perfect sense — you were the child who forever lost things; he was the one who inevitably broke them.
In its own strange way, he loved that about you — because it was so unmistakably you.
Those little quirks followed you into adulthood, into the quiet domestic rituals of shared life, into the bright chaos of early marriage.
Sukuna remembered watching with exasperated fondness as his newlywed wife tore through the apartment for the third time within the hour, searching for something you swore had "been in your hand a second ago".
When frustration finally overtook you, in all seriousness you began seriously conspiring about gnomes stealing your belongings — because what else could explain such vanishing acts?
And inevitably, hours later, one of you would find the missing object.
He'd make the same dry remark — "Seems the gnomes felt guilty and returned it".
Sometimes you remembered leaving it there.
Sometimes you didn't.
Either way you shrugged it off with relief, content to let the mystery remain unsolved — until, of course, the whole charade repeated itself sooner or later like clockwork.
The first moment that unsettled him — ever so slightly — was a rather trivial thing.
Harmless, even humorous till he considered it in retrospect.
It was mid-spring, two years after your wedding.
The dawn warblers were offering their usual aubade to the morning, and Sukuna sat at the table with his customary cup of black coffee, letting the bitter warmth pull him into the day.
"Sukuna," you suddenly called his name, tone serious as you dropped into the seat beside him.
"Hm?"
A deep inhale. "So…I was thinking…I think we're ready to take our relationship — our marriage — to the next level. Or we should at least start thinking about it because becoming a parent is a big step."
He choked on his coffee slightly, bitter in his windpipe as he coughed, and finally managed a weak smile. "Oh…parents, huh? I mean…I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a bit sudd—"
"I want a cat."
He blinked, then gave you a dry look with no real bite. "You're a real comedian, aren't you?"
The way you were already giggling at your own joke actually did make him start to entertain the idea of a cat.
"Well…what kind would you want? I guess there's some breeders in the city—"
"No." You vehemently shook your head. "We're going to get one of the strays that live behind the building. I think one of them already likes me."
He stared. "A stray."
"Yes."
"And how exactly did you befriend a stray cat?"
"…I fed it some ham."
He squinted slightly. "So that's why we've been running out of ham so fast? Because you decided some mangy ca—"
"She is not mangy—"
"—is more important than your beloved husband."
You grinned, biting your cheek. "Do you really want me to answer that?"
Sukuna rolled his eyes — already considering where the cat's litterbox would go.
A few minutes passed mostly in comfortable silence.
Then—
"So I was thinking…"
He raised his eyebrows slightly. "Again? That's too many times in one day for you, my love."
You scowled. "Firstly, that's rude. Second of all…I think we're ready to become parents."
Sukuna blinked. "…Of the cat…"
Immediately your eyes widened in surprise as you laughed. "How did you know I was going to say that?! Did you catch me giving them ham…"
A beat.
Were you fucking around with him? Another one of those stupid TikTok couple pranks?
But you didn't burst out into laughter at your own joke like you always did — your face was genuine.
"Well, because you just said it…" he said unsurely.
You blink, then giggle again, shaking your head. "I did, huh? Guess I really want that cat…"
Sukuna chuckled, leaning over to ruffle your hair. "See what using your head too much does to you? Just let me take care of it for you, princess."
As intended, you got annoyed and glared while swatting at his hand. "You're not supposed to say that shit outside of the bedroom, you know that? Also stop messing up my hair."
Just like that, the moment was swept away, forgotten amidst the playful banter that made up your relationship — that colored his life.
Life was perfect then; it was because of you he learned to find beauty in the everyday nooks and crannies of the world.
Passing by a patch of grass one of these mellow evenings, you suddenly crouched and plucked a single blade.
"Oh my gosh — remember how we'd always try to do grass whistles?" you exclaimed.
Grass whistles. The marker of mid-spring back when you were children.
"You were the one trying — I knew how to do it," he commented smugly.
You rolled your eyes, trying to position the green blade correctly between your thumbs. "Ywah, you didn't even try and teach me, asshole."
"Would you bother trying to teach a dog calculus?"
Shooting him a glare, you lifted your chin and announced, "I'm going to figure it out myself then."
There were a few four minutes of pure entertainment, watching you repeatedly try and fail at getting the grass to make any noise, until it was shining with your spit.
Lips crooked, he held his hand out. "May I? Or do you want to waterboard that blade of grass for another five minutes?"
You scowled at him, but gave him the leaf.
A few second later and a high whistle could be heard.
Your eyes widened. "How?"
Ten minutes of attempting to help you get it right and not once did it work — but your eyes were crinkled, eyes sparkling, smile lines folding in like back when you were still children.
They started to happen more often, these odd little slip-ups of yours.
Like the evening you casually mentioned you'd be going out with Shoko the next day — only for him to find Utahime, ready to pick you up.
Confused, he turned from the open door and called for you. "Uh…Utahime's here…"
"Oh! Let me go get my purse, tell her I'll be out in a few seconds," you excitedly told him, rushing to slip on your shoes and grab your bag.
He stared at you for a second. "I thought you were seeing Shoko today?"
You look up at him a little confused, but with a small smile. "Nope, Shoko's out of town right now."
"Oh…I was just wondering because you mentioned you'd be seeing her today…"
Giving a small laugh, you pressed a quick peck on his cheek. "Sorry, I probably meant to say Utahime — you know I get names mixed up sometimes."
"Right…well have fun," he murmured, closing the door to sound of you chattering with your friend as you made your way to her car.
It's true; you weren't great with names — it was a running joke that new people should constantly be wearing a name tag around you, considering your tendency to mix them up or straight out forget them.
And… it wasn't uncommon for people to mix up names like that — had you ever done it with your two closest friends?
No.
But was it really enough to precipitate concern?
Also no.
In this manner, Sukuna treated each of these small occurrences as isolated incidents — things both of you could easily brush off.
Then came the work issues.
Admitting to him you were struggling at work and kept getting in trouble with your manager for messing things up — sending emails to the wrong person, forgetting to attach files, accidentally duplicating work, scheduling errors and miscalculating data.
Said messes only grew — you'd started missing in deadlines and turning in incomplete projects because you lost track of process, forgetting instructions right after they were given, appearing "spacey" in meetings, and occasionally snapping at coworkers over small things.
From a managerial standpoint, Sukuna definitely understood why these were issues — the corporate world wasn't so forgiving to someone like you.
Moody, inattentive, careless is what your report said.
But Sukuna also saw how you cried over it — how you'd try and try and set up post-its or reminders on your phone or keep an agenda but you'd still mess up.
You'd sob because you wanted to be better and you thought that your mistakes were because you weren't trying hard enough.
You never knew how much it really pained him to see you like that.
He saw in you what you didn't; your sincerity, how the things the world punished you for were never driven by bad intentions but something you couldn't quite help.
The final straw was when you apparently sent the wrong filed to an external partner — one that held confidential data.
You were fired.
He tried to reassure you that maybe this was a sign you needed to take a break, and now you could do that — both of you could very comfortably live off solely his income.
He tried to make you feel better, told you to just take some time easy and let him take care of things.
Of course, it didn't help how torn up you were over it.
There were fights.
Your frustration, shame, and exhaustion would simmer until they spilled over — sharp words, slammed doors, or tears you tried to swallow down because it all made you feel so useless. You wanted to rely on him out of choice, not necessity.
Admittedly, he wasn’t always the best at handling it. He was only human, and too often he met fire with fire when he could have been the one to let it die out.
But your anger cut him too, in quiet ways you never saw — because you were his wife.
His mirror.
His other half.
And watching you fight against yourself broke something in him every time.
The first time he was forced to face the fact that something was very, very wrong was two weeks later.
It was afternoon when you called him — he answered because you never called while he was at work; it would always be text messages.
So he picked up, and immediately his chest clenched when he heard you sobbing on the other end, crying for him to help you and that you were lost, that you didn't know how to get home.
He asked you where you were, you said you didn't know.
So he asked you to describe what you saw.
And as you did, with a sinking feeling in his gut, Sukuna realized you were describing the small shopping complex that was nearby — one you often went to in order to run errands.
By now he was already walking out of the door; he didn't care enough to inform anyone.
The entire drive there his mind was racing, trying to consider all the possibilities, if this was also another symptom of perhaps chronic stress, or maybe he wouldn't even be able to find you at all—
But he did.
Sitting at the curb under the shade of a willow tree like you used to as children…next to a grocery store you got your groceries from every single week.
Next to you was an opened Calpi bottle — he vaguely recalled a childhood memory of your addiction to them and you trying to persuade him into using his allowance to buy some more for you after you'd used up all of yours to polish off the entire stock.
You looked small — not literally, but the way you were shrinking into yourself with half-dried streaks of tears shimmering on your face in the warm afternoon sun with your nose running, eyes big and watery with a look that could truly on be described as lost.
Sukuna nearly tripped in his rush to snap the seatbelt off and bolt out of the car parked by the curb, not even bothering to shut the driver's side door.
Another car was behind him, blaring a honk since he'd abruptly parked in the middle of a parking lot.
Sukuna flipped off said driver and didn't give them a second look as he practically ran to go get you, calling out your name.
Upon hearing it, your face snapped around and you practically sobbed in relief as he wrapped his arms around you and gently helped you to your feet.
Then you broke down again, sobbing so hard you were dampening his work shirt with snot and tears — not that he gave a single shit.
"I'm-I'm sorry, I don't know what happened—"
He shushed you, holding you tight with one arm, stroking your hair with his other hand. "Stop apologizing baby, it's alright, you're alright."
"Where…am I, Sukuna?" you hiccupped.
Cold dread flooded his veins as he looked at your face, at your pupils dilated in genuine fear as they darted around trying to recognize your surroundings.
"We're at the Osaka Shopping Complex, sweetheart. You don't don't remember?"
Brows scrunching a little, you shake your head.
With a deep, slightly shuddering breath, he pressed a kiss to the crown of your skull and gently guided you to the passenger side of the car. "Alright, let's just get you home for now. Do you want your Calpi?"
"Calpi?" you repeated, voice small and thin.
He nodded towards the small white bottle sitting beside you — opened and one-thirds finished.
You find it, blinking. "I, uh, I remember craving one, I just don't remember buying it…"
His gut roiled, but he stayed calm for your sake.
"Okay, just get in the car, and I'll grab it for you," he murmured, opening the door to let you in.
Luckily you seemed to remember the car and slid in with ease, buckling yourself in.
As he grabbed the small drink and handed it to you, Sukuna knew without a doubt you needed to see a doctor as soon as possible.
Getting back into the drivers seat, he paused for a second.
"Baby…do you really not remember this place? Try looking around."
You do, peering out the window. "Um…"
"Osaka Shopping Complex," he gently repeated, pointing to a small bakery in the corner. "We get coffee and pastries from there sometimes."
And he felt like he could finally breathe a bit when your eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh yeah," you sniffed, "I remember now…I don't know how I…"
Your face fell again, fear shadowing over your expression as you pulled out of the parking lot.
"I don't remember how to get home from here."
A pause.
"Sukuna? What's happening to me?" you finally whispered, frailer than you'd ever sounded.
"I don't know sweetheart — but we'll get a doctors appointment immediately."
At home he was relieved to find you recognized the space and mostly seemed to return to your normal self again — though a bit shaken up, being in this familiar place seemed to calm you.
Sukuna didn't hesitate — he found a nearby medical clinic and called them up.
So sorry Sir, but we're currently unable to take any new patients.
Trying not to get frustrated, he dialed the next one and explained to them the situation.
"Alright. Would you like to come in this week?" the receptionist asked, "We could—"
"Today…Please," he added. "I'll pay extra out of pocket if needed, just…anything so she can see the doctor today."
With a bit of pushing on his end, the two of you found yourselves in the waiting room of the clinic later that evening.
He sat beside you, the subdued atmosphere of older patients chatting and the TV broadcasting doing nothing to ease his nerves as you filled out the patient form.
Sukuna had told you to let him know if you needed help filling it out and you insisted that you could do it on your own — and you did.
In fact you seemed like your normal self again by now — the wife he knew, stubborn and impatient and even suggesting that maybe this wasn't necessary because you felt fine now, until he snapped at you for it.
When you were called in, a middle aged doctor greeted you kindly. "What seems to be the issue today?"
Sukuna looked to you first for permission — you hesitated, then gave a small nod.
With your permission, he turned to the doctor and tried to explain, "She’s been… forgetting things. Sometimes short-term stuff, sometimes directions. Only today she got lost in the shopping complex we always go to—like she couldn't recognize it or figure out her way home. Luckily she called me and I was able to come pick her up."
"I see," the doctor nodded, "And how long has this been happening?"
"Uh, well honestly she's always been kind of the forgetful type but it's been worsening these past few months."
The doctor glanced gently at you, who looked embarrassed but tried to smile.
"Do you have trouble remembering names, dates, or where you've placed things?"
"Sometimes, yeah," you admitted. "But I thought I was just distracted, I guess. I got diagnosed with ADHD in my late teens."
"I understand. Has there been any stress lately? Work? Lack of sleep?"
There was a pause before you sighed. "I, uh, actually got fired from my job kind of recently because of…issues related to this. So I guess yeah, there's definitely been stress over it and a lot of frustration."
The doctor nodded gravely, already noting details.
Sukuna wasn't the hugging type but he felt some urge to wrap himself around you as if that would protect you from any of this.
You, being his beloved and stubborn wife, would probably snap at him for it and complain he's "smothering you."
So instead he sat in this white room, shoe tapping rapidly against the the floor as the doctor decided to give you a "quick memory check".
He asked you for the entire date — you got the day and month but when it came to the year, you paused, frowning slightly until you swallowed and quietly admitted that your mind was blanking and you couldn't remember.
The doctor nodded, gently reassured you, noted it and moved on.
"What city are we in?"
"Can you remember three words for me? Apple, coin, pen. I'll ask you to repeat them later."
"Can you spell the word world backwards?"
"Can you draw a clock showing ten past eleven"
"What were the three words I said earlier?"
You took much too long to draw the clock and you remembered only two of the words — forgetting 'pen'.
And finally, the doctor sat back.
Sukuna wished he could press fast forward in real time, but soon enough the doctor spoke.
"There are a few areas where your recall and spatial orientation were a bit off. It could be related to stress or another cause, but I'd like to run some blood tests and refer you to a neurologist for imaging and further evaluation—just to be sure."
You swallowed, nodded, then quietly asked, "…Do you think it's serious?"
The doctor answered carefully, "It's too soon to say. But getting more information early is the best thing we can do."
He printed the referral and handed it to Sukuna, along with a list of nearby hospitals.
Sukuna nodded, but his jaw was tight.
That evening he did he best for everything to still seem normal — he took you out for dinner, listened as you yapped even though sometimes you'd repeat things, still kissed you and touched you like it was the very first time every time.
But that night as you were sound asleep beside him in bed, snoring softly (you'd kill him if he told you but he did think it was cute), Sukuna prayed.
Sukuna was never a religious man—since he was a boy, he'd decided he wanted no part of it.
But that night he prayed to whoever was listening, to any higher power if there ever was one, that things would be alright.
Appointments with a specialist could take up to weeks — Sukuna made sure you were sitting with him in the waiting area that smelled faintly of antiseptic and coffee within two days.
You sat leaning against him, hands folded tightly as you stared at the hospital logo embossed on the plastic folder — he idly stroked your scalp with his nails.
"You'll be fine," Sukuna murmured beside you, though his knee was bouncing.
When your name was called, he stood automatically, towering behind you as you entered the small consultation room.
The neurologist was a woman in her fifties — neat bob, gentle voice.
Going over your medical history and symptoms went about the same as with the general practitioner two days earlier — except this time the neurologist asked about family history of dementia or Alzheimer's.
You said yes.
Sukuna looked towards you, eyes widening slightly. "What?"
You frowned a bit. "What…"
"You didn't tell me this?"
"You've known since forever that my grandma died before I was born."
"Uh, yeah…of old age?! You conveniently left out the part about her dying from Alzheimer's."
"Do you think there's some medical condition called 'old age', Sukuna? No! Most old people die of some condition that's due to old age—"
"Stop getting pedantic you know what I meant! I actually cannot believe you never told me that—me, your one and only husband."
"Yeah sure, let's talk about my dead grandparents during our next date, sound good? I'll see if I can find their death certificates too."
The doctor patiently sat and watched you bicker; it wasn't a real argument, more so light annoyance and a good dose of concern.
Finally you dismissed him — though he was still sitting right next to you — and turned back towards the doctor.
Despite everything, Sukuna was strangely glad that you were still enough of yourself to talk back to him—a version of you that didn't ever snap back was a true indicator that something was off.
The questions resumed and soon the doctor folded her hands in her lap.
"I'd like to order an MRI and some bloodwork," she said softly, "Just to understand what's happening."
"How long will it take?" Sukuna asked.
"We can schedule an imaging for this week—"
"No," he cut in, "It has to be today."
"I'm sorry sir, but I don't think we can fit her in today—"
"No, we must get her in that MRI today, I don't care what it takes—"
"Sukuna," you hissed, tugging on his sleeve, gritted jaw letting him know he was embarrassing you. "You're not some king that can just get whatever he wants when he wants — there are other people that need MRI scans too, in case you didn't know."
"Okay?!" he hissed back, "I don't care if those other people live or d—"
"How about I go check in with the staff to see if there's any cancelled appointments or if we could squeeze her in," the doctor politely cut in, rising to her feet.
With a deep breath, you gave her a strained smile. "I'm so sorry about him Doctor, as you can see my husband actually has a fetish for seeing his wife in an MRI machine—"
"Yes that would be great, thank you Doctor," Sukuna interrupted, talking over you and silencing you with a small pinch to your arm that made you jolt. "I'll pay extra if needed."
Sukuna did pay extra afterwards — because they called another patient and requested if their scan could be scheduled to another day just to fit you in.
Soon you were called in for prep — changing and removing metal items — as they made Sukuna wait in the hallway outside the MRI suite.
It was bright, clean, efficient and calm…but impersonal.
For forty-five minutes he stood there — they offered him to go back in the main waiting area where there were comfortable seats and snacks, but he refused to budge from outside the suite.
Then at last, the door opened and he caught a glance of you being escorted to the changing room — hospital gown and slippers — though you gave him a small smile like something was funny.
Sukuna could not understand what in the world would be funny about this.
Until he asked you once he met you back in the waiting room, fully dressed again.
You shrugged. "Just thought it'd turn you on seeing me in my MRI scan clothing, considering that you're into that—"
Then you giggled at your own joke.
Sukuna rolled his eyes as he led you out of the hospital. "Maybe we need another one to see what's gone wrong in that brain of yours to give you such terrible humor."
He expected you to shoot a playful retort back — instead the smile faded slightly from your face, brows scrunching a little in that manner that now reflexively frayed his nerves.
"Another…what?"
He swallowed. "Another MRI scan, baby — you were just in that loud machine a few minutes ago, remember?"
"MRI…? I don't remember… why…?"
"They, uh, just needed pictures of your brain to see what's going on," he said, voice low but firm, "Since you've been forgetting things."
You blinked, sighing deeply. "I just forgot that, didn't I?"
"It's alright," he murmured, "I'll remind you however many times I need to."
The next visit back in the neurologist's office a few days later was quieter, somehow.
Sukuna hadn't slept — he'd spent the entire night watching you sleep and caressing your hair, mind running in circles.
Once again, he found himself praying.
And for the first time in his life, Sukuna started to question himself — if everyone was right, if this was punishment for not having faith.
He forced his mind to halt, to not go down that path; the least he could do was wait to see what the neurologist said the next morning.
You sat beside Sukuna again, this time clutching your phone with both hands as the doctor pulled up your MRI scans on the screen.
"These are your results," she explained gently, clicking through the black and white images. "Here's the hippocampus — the part of the brain responsible for memory. In your case we can see a slight reduction in volume compared to what we would expect for someone your age."
Sukuna leaned forward, eyes narrowing, trying to keep his breath even. "What does that mean?"
"It means there's some early atrophy — loss of tissue — that may be affecting her ability to form or retain new memories."
You blinked. "So… like, stress?"
The doctor hesitated. "Stress can certainly worsen symptoms, but this pattern suggests something more persistent."
Sukuna's voice hardened, heart pulsing against his chest.
The feel of his gut physically sinking was so distinct it was something he'd remember for years to come.
But still he tried to hang onto the faintest sliver of hope that maybe this wouldn't actually be something too serious.
"Then say it. What is it?"
The doctor exhaled softly, folding her hands. "It may be the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. Given your age, we call this early-onset Alzheimer's."
That was the moment Sukuna's entire world cracked clean in two.
That one word and for perhaps for the first time, he felt what could only be described as true fear running icy in his veins.
Alzheimer's?
For a moment there was nothing but the hum of the air conditioning. A moment that would be forever etched in his mind.
Then suddenly you laughed — too light, too sharp. "That's…you mean old people's Alzheimer's, right? That can't be — I'm in my twenties."
"It's rare," the doctor agreed softly, "But it can happen. There are medications that can slow progression and support memory. We'll begin with donepezil, and I'll refer you to a specialist counselor who works with early-onset cases."
You nodded stiffly.
Sukuna stayed perfectly still beside you, staring at the MRI like he could rewrite it with enough of sheer willpower.
Betrayal — like the world, circumstances, genetics, probability — whatever it was, had utterly betrayed him.
"How long," he said finally, voice rough. "Until it gets worse?"
The doctor glanced between both of you. "Progression varies. Some people maintain stable function for several years with treatment and support. But… memory lapses may become more frequent over time."
"How long," he repeated.
"I'm sorry sir, but it's impossible to predict exactly," she said softly, "Every case is different."
You were still staring at the screen. At your very own brain that was betraying itself.
"So I'm…going to forget?" you whispered.
Sukuna reached over and gripped your hand — it was cold, but held it steady and tight.
"We'll deal with it," he said firmly, tone leaving no room for argument. "We'll deal with it."
The doctor gave a small nod and began explaining medication schedules, follow-up visits, insurance support.
You were spaced out, like you heard none of it; he wanted to do nothing but console you, but for your sake he listened intently on what to do next.
The car-ride back was quiet — unusually so. He looked over to see you gnawing on your lip.
"If you've forgotten anything, just ask sweetheart," he reassured you.
You sighed, rubbing your temple. "But I don't want you to deal with that — constantly having to remind me of things over and over again…I…don't want you to resent me for it but I'd understand if you d—"
"Don't say that again, okay?" he cut in firmly, trying to keep his voice calm. "Every single time you've forgotten something or you think you've forgotten something, you're going to ask me, alright?"
"…Okay…"
"Promise me."
"I promise," you murmur, before adding with a small giggle, "…well until I forget it — it doesn't count then."
Sukuna smiled slightly, hand easing on the steering wheel, the other rubbing your thigh. "It does because I'll make you promise again each time."
"Well, that's not fair."
"I'm adapting—so yes it is fair."
"Okay…I want udon. I feel like there's a place I like? But it's not really coming to m—"
"We're already on the way there."
You looked at him, eyebrows raised a little. "How'd you—"
"Stop looking at me like I'm a magician," he chuckled, "You like to go to that place every single time we're in this area…I guess that's one of the things your brain decided is important enough to remember, huh?"
That small mention of udon felt like the only hint of reassurance that everything wasn't yet lost.
Maybe you couldn't remember the place, but you were still the same person — same likes, dislikes, habits.
It's okay if you forgot yourself.
Sukuna knew you down till the point he could reteach you who you were if he had to.
Despite the counseling and the donepezil, the next few weeks were… difficult in all the ways everyone had braced for.
Even so, Sukuna found that who you were still shone through the everyday forgetfulness, like the moon lingering stubbornly in the dawn.
It comforted him that you could still recall most of your old memories.
Long-term memory and emotionally weighted memories last much longer, the counselor had told him.
You’d even recounted the first time you met as children: how you caught him stealing something from the corner shop and threatened to tell unless he brought you one onigiri every day.
“And what emotional weight does that memory hold?” he asked, half-sarcastic.
“Uhhh… happiness.” You chewed your lip, fishing the memory up again. “Oh—also pride. I was pretty proud of myself for coming up with that deal.”
“It wasn’t a deal. It was blackmail.”
“If you’re good at making deals,” you said matter-of-factly, “they’re basically always blackmail.”
The world continued to turn.
The paulownia trees began to shed their leaves, ushering in the shimmering autumn air as red spider lilies bloomed crimson after the first rain of the season.
Longer September nights meant more time to linger beneath the sky — and as you did every year, you pestered him to take you to the outskirts of the city, where you could properly admire the swollen harvest moon in all her glory.
Before long, Sukuna noticed the ham in the fridge wasn’t disappearing anymore. So one evening, he grabbed a few slices in one hand and took your wrist with the other, announcing that there was something very important you loved to do — something you had apparently forgotten.
Puzzled, and grumbling a little, you trailed after him down the back stairs of the building, offering increasingly wild theories as to what this “important thing” might be.
A breeze brushed your skin as twilight settled overhead like the promise of night. Crickets chirped in the grass as Sukuna crouched, sharp eyes scanning the shadows.
And then — catching the scent of the ham — the cats emerged. One hopped down from the fence, another stretched where it had been dozing, and soon five or six stray felines were creeping closer.
Your eyes lit up as they came into view.
“Oh! I kind of remember doing this!” You grabbed the ham and tore off a piece to toss toward a shy cat who refused to approach while Sukuna’s hulking form loomed nearby.
“Yeah? Then do you remember which one’s your favorite?”
“I have a favorite?”
“Mhm. You wanted to bring it home.”
Right on cue, a tabby trotted out — visibly more excited than the rest, its crooked tail sticking straight up as it made a delighted beeline for your ankle.
Patchy fur. Oddly long face. One ear too small. A few bald spots.
“I’m willing to bet it’s that one,” he said, pointing at it — and secretly hoping that now, seeing it again, you’d finally admit it was ugly.
Instead you beamed, fed it some ham, and scooped it up as it purred. “Oh my god, we have to keep her.”
Sukuna blinked. “Seriously? Look at that thing — and how’d you even remember it was a her?”
“I didn’t. It was just our female telepathic connection.”
He couldn’t tell if you were joking. “...Whatever. Stop touching it, it probably has diseases and fleas.”
“Don’t be rude,” you snapped, glaring. “Just because she isn’t the prettiest doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with her.”
“You’re really going to bring it back?”
He already knew the answer. And when he looked down, he saw the cat wasn’t squirming — unlike most strays held for more than two seconds. Instead, it was purring loudly, staring up at you with soft, slitted eyes.
A few minutes later, Sukuna was drenched — the cat adored you, but certainly not enough to tolerate a bath.
After many meowed protests and several daring escape attempts, it was finally washed, patted down, and dried.
“Have we done this before?” you asked, running a finger through its fur — still patchy and ugly, but undeniably softer.
“First time for both of us.”
“Didn’t seem like your first time…”
“Nope. But if I have to let that thing live in my home, I’d at least like it to be not ugly and dirty… just ugly.”
“Sukuna!” you snapped. “Stop being mean. Also—did we name her?”
“Nope. What do you wanna call it?” he asked, deliberately emphasizing the pronoun, and receiving another glare from you — offended on the cat’s behalf.
You hummed, pondered for a single second, and declared, “Alzheimer.”
“…You’re not serious.”
You stared at him — absolutely serious.
“And when I forget and ask you her name, what are you going to say?” you tested.
“…Alzheimer,” he answered reluctantly.
“Good. I’ll write it down somewhere if I have to, so I know you’re not lying.”
Sukuna frowned. “You don’t really think I’d… take advantage of your condition like that? Even for something small?”
You smiled, scooping up Alzheimer, who was starting to doze off. “I was just joking… kind of.”
Sukuna sighed, watching as you lifted the cat toward him. “I’d never. Even if I hate your ugly cat and its awful name—”
“Alzheimer is our cat,” you corrected.
“I’m not claiming it.”
“Come on,” you coaxed, holding Alzheimer closer. “Just give her a little pet. Maybe she’ll like you.”
But the moment Sukuna raised his hand, the creature hissed — not violently, but enough to make its disdain unmistakable.
He narrowed his eyes, deeply offended by the audacity.
“I’d turn you into a fur coat,” he informed the cat, crouching to address it directly, “but your fur’s so ugly you’re not even good for that—”
With a scandalized gasp, you swiveled around and shielded Alzheimer from further slander. “Sukuna! We come together. If you want me, you’re getting her too.”
“I married you, not you and that thing—”
“You either take us or leave us.”
That night, Sukuna ended up sleeping with an arm around your waist and his nose buried in your hair… and the cat, who managed to wedge itself perfectly into the little space between your bodies.
Cloud and rain-threaded days multiplied as deepening autumn carried the world from the brightness of summer toward winter’s edge.
It was supposed to be the season of silver dew puddles, golden-amber brocade, and ripening.
But you weren’t ripening with the rest of the earth.
Sukuna hoped—tried to convince himself—that he was overthinking.
That you weren’t worsening faster than expected.
That it only felt that way because of the constant undercurrent of paranoia humming through him.
Alzheimer’s was a maddeningly mercurial condition, after all. There were days—sometimes two, sometimes even three—when things brushed close to normal. And then there were the bad ones: sharp, sudden drops where you would panic outside the apartment building, unable to recognize where you were.
Just as the doctor had said, it was impossible to predict. And with such frequent highs and lows, it was even harder to tell whether you were truly deteriorating or simply sinking into another abrupt low point.
Early November light filtered through the blinds, slicing the kitchen table into thin stripes. You sat at the counter in your pajamas, brows softly furrowed as you read a book, a mug of tea cooling untouched beside you.
Sukuna came in behind you, a towel slung over his shoulder, still damp from the shower. His hair was wet and unruly, white shirt half-buttoned.
He looked more tired these days—too many nights spent pretending to sleep, pretending to be fine.
“You’ve got something at eleven,” he said, checking his phone. “Your follow-up with the therapist.”
“Right.” You smiled faintly, closing your book. “Thanks.”
He poured himself coffee and leaned against the counter opposite you.
The air settled into a quiet that felt almost comfortable—until you looked up at him suddenly and asked, “Did you eat dinner last night?”
His brow creased. “Yeah. We cooked.”
“Oh… what did we make?”
He hesitated, watching the way your expression wavered—the faint crease of worry that hadn’t been there moments before. “Curry.”
“Right.” You nodded, though the doubt lingered.
He took a sip of his coffee. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired, I guess.”
He didn’t push. He’d learned that too much concern only made you retreat into guilt.
There was no mention of the next day — and when he mentioned, offhand the next morning, that it was his birthday, it was only because he felt he’d be cheating you out of something you would’ve wanted to know.
A flicker of guilt crossed your face as you looked up from the tea you were stirring. “Oh my god, Sukuna, I can’t believe I forgot what day it was—”
Immediately, he pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head, trying to catch the worry before it rooted. “What did I tell you about apologizing for forgetting things?”
You bit your lip, still visibly upset. “But this is about y—”
“Did you forget on purpose?”
“…No. Of course not,” you murmured.
“Exactly.” He tilted your chin up with a finger, round eyes locking with yours. “Do you remember that I don’t care about my birthday?”
“…Yeah,” you answered hesitantly. “And that you don’t like celebrating.”
He grinned. “See? You remember the important things.”
You blinked once, a soft sigh leaving you.
“Don’t worry, princess,” he smirked, kissing your cheek before letting you go. “I’ll still get the cake.”
“…You don’t even like sweet stuff.”
“No, but I like watching you inhale it.”
Your brow furrowed, mildly confused. “Why?”
“Because you’re my wife, idiot. Is it such a shocking concept that I want to see you happy?”
Your lip twitched into a small smile as you leaned back against the counter. “Still… you sure you don’t want anything?”
“The only thing I want is that cat disappearing from my home.”
Scowling, you crossed your arms. “Alright, you just lost birthday privileges.”
Sukuna laughed — genuinely, lightly — and later that morning, you went with him to pick up the cake from the same little bakery on the corner as always.
The real birthday gift was that you didn’t seem to forget anything the entire short outing. You remembered where you were going during both car rides, recognized the shopping complex and the bakery… and named the exact cake you’d gotten every year: a strawberry shortcake with fluffy sponge, whipped cream, and fresh strawberries.
But later that night, when he came home from work, the house was dim — lit only by the glow of the TV and the outline of you curled on the couch, a blanket around your shoulders, Alzheimer sleeping soundly in your lap.
The small cake box sat on the counter, unopened.
“You didn’t eat it?” he asked.
You looked up, blinking. “Eat what?”
“The cake.”
“What cake?”
His jaw tightened. “The one we bought this morning.”
You frowned, confusion sincere and unguarded. “Why would we get a cake? I didn’t even know we had one…”
He loosened his tie. “…Because it’s my birthday.”
The silence that followed felt unbearable — a thin, fragile moment where your face crumpled, just slightly, and you whispered,
“Oh my god. Sukuna, I—”
He shook his head immediately. “Don’t. It’s fine.”
“No, I— I meant to—”
“I said it’s fine.” His voice stayed steady, but his throat was tight.
You stood, desperate, reaching for him. “I can make something now, we can—”
“Stop.”
He finally looked at you — really looked — at your trembling hands, the tears gathering in your eyes.
His chest ached. Because lately, it wasn’t just forgetfulness. It was erasure — not of him, but of you.
It seemed the entire conversation from this morning had slipped away completely; and worse, you’d forgotten small things you’d remembered easily just hours before.
With a slow breath, he pulled you toward him. “You probably forgot this too, but if it makes you feel better — I’ve never cared about my birthday.” He laughed softly. “It’s just an excuse to buy a cake every year.”
“But… you don’t even like sweet things—” your voice shook, tears beginning to fall.
Sukuna paused. Lately it had become nearly impossible to keep track of what you could remember from one day to the next.
He could only imagine how disorienting it must have been for you.
“I do like watching you eat it,” he teased gently. “And before you ask why—” he added as your lips parted, “it’s because you’re my wife, and most men like seeing their wives happy.”
You sniffled. “But still… your birthday, I’m so sorry, Sukuna—”
“My love,” he said softly, “if I’m worried, it’s not because I care about the birthday. I’m just… a little concerned you might be forgetting bigger things. Not the cake. Not the date. Just… bigger things. I swear it’s not about the damn birthday. You know I don’t lie.”
Your tears fell onto his shirt — and then the floodgates opened.
“I just… I don’t— I don’t want to f-forget you,” you cried. “That’s my biggest fear in all of this, and it’s… already happening—” Your chest hitched on a sharp inhale. “W-What if I forget how much I love you—”
“Enough,” he murmured, cutting you off with a soft kiss. “You remember me right now. That’s enough.”
You swallowed, still trembling.
“…You want to make something? We can cook. Together.”
“But your cake—”
“We’ll bake another tomorrow. You can forget that one too if you want, but if I leave them both out, I know they’ll be gone by morning.”
You let out a watery laugh — half relief, half heartbreak.
Later that night, he half-woke from sleep.
Nothing unusual; he shifted closer to you, ready to drift off again — until he heard it. The smallest sniff.
Sleep vanished from him instantly. He brushed his hand up to your cheek — the skin was damp beneath his fingertips.
“Sweetheart?” He sat up slightly, voice low. “What’s wrong?”
There was a time when one undeniable truth about Sukuna was that he had no idea how to deal with crying people.
And he still didn’t — but you had shown him new parts of himself.
That he wasn’t as rough-edged or insensitive or cold as people believed.
And this — you — made him feel weak. Because it hurt, physically hurt, knowing you were in pain.
You didn’t respond as he brushed a strand of hair from your temple, damp with tears.
He didn’t push. You knew he’d be here whether you spoke or not.
But he hoped you would.
After a long moment, you whispered, barely audible, “I’m forgetting.”
Sukuna stayed quiet — because truthfully, he didn’t know what to say.
Because truthfully, it was exactly what scared him too.
“…And I don’t know what I’m forgetting,” you continued, his hand rubbing your shoulder. “My mind runs in circles, paranoid about what I might be missing — even with the reminders and sticky notes… it’s so—”
Fresh tears spilled down your cheeks, glimmering like molten silver in the faint moonlight.
“…It’s so s-scary knowing you can’t… you can’t rely on your own brain anymore.”
That fragile organ floating in your skull. That mass of tissue where your every memory, every moment, every version of yourself lived.
People were so terribly breakable — skin and bones and blood, but the part that made you you was just electrical impulses firing between neurons.
Sukuna swallowed and lay down, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
“I know,” he murmured. “But… I know you. I’ll remember for both of us. Just trust me.”
“I do…” you whispered.
“I don’t think you get it,” he said quietly, “I’d actually kill an innocent civilian for you if I had to.”
A tiny noise escaped you — not a sniffle or sob, but a weak giggle.
Sukuna memorized the shape of the sound.
“Never met someone whose love language was murder,” you whispered.
“And you never will again.”
He kissed your neck, soft and warm against your skin.
Slowly, your breathing evened out — and only once it did did he let himself slip back into sleep.
More MRI scans and additional cognitive tests confirmed what he had suspected but refused to admit to himself: your disease was progressing faster than normal.
Genetic counseling came next, followed by a blood draw for DNA testing — checking for mutations in the PSEN1, PSEN2, or APP genes.
A positive result would mean what neither of you wanted to face: that you were an even rarer case of early-onset Alzheimer’s, accelerating far quicker than it should — not over years, but months.
Later that night, while you slept beside him, Sukuna sat in bed scrolling through old photos on his phone — your wedding, your honeymoon, the first cramped apartment you shared.
Your smiles. Your laughter. Memories preserved in pixels even as they slipped away from you.
When he finally set the phone down, dawn was already beginning to turn the windows pale.
Having played their part in the grand scheme of things, the once-verdant foliage began to wither at the tips — a rust that spread slowly, relentlessly — until the late-autumn winds from the north finally crippled the rest and swept them away.
A few more weeks passed; and you worsened.
You began forgetting larger things now — bits of your wedding, scraps from your honeymoon, what you’d eaten only minutes before.
Sukuna found himself reminding you of Alzheimer’s ridiculous name over and over — and every single time, you giggled at it.
Your brain was dying, and you were still laughing at your own jokes.
Then the DNA results came in — positive for a mutation in the PSEN1 gene, confirming the particularly aggressive nature of your condition.
An extremely rare case: not only early-onset Alzheimer’s, but the accelerated genetic form of it.
So rare that not even your mother had it.
Just you.
And truly, that was the only reason — catastrophic luck.
There was nothing you could have done, because it had been written into your genetic code since the moment you existed.
The prognosis was bleak: a rapidly progressing genetic disease with no treatment, no cure.
“A few months,” the doctors said.
Sukuna had known it in his gut. But hearing it spoken aloud — hearing his darkest fears given form — was like being crushed under the weight of his own dread.
You sobbed in his arms. You told him you were terrified. And he thought that would be the worst part.
But on the drive home, the car quiet as always, you finally asked,
“So what did they say? I think I remember… feeling sad. I know it was bad but… what was it?”
Sukuna felt sick.
Because from now on, he would have to tell you again and again — and watch you break again and again — because for your mind, each time would be the first time.
But he’d promised he would never lie to you.
He almost asked you to wait until you got home — until he realized you might remember even less by then.
So he swallowed hard, voice rough as he told you,
“They… They said a few months, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
You were quiet for a moment.
Then you hummed softly and said you wanted udon — because the car happened to be passing the same restaurant as always.
For a moment he wondered if you’d already forgotten.
“Do you… remember what I just told you, baby?”
To his relief, you nodded. “A few months.”
Sukuna stayed quiet, unsure what to make of your calmness — your lack of the devastation from earlier.
Sensing his confusion, you added,
“…I’ll probably forget it anyway. I guess the upside of all this is I won’t have it on my conscience for long. But…”
Your voice broke, and he didn’t need to look to know the tears were coming.
“…but I guess it’ll stay on yours, huh? All the way to the end—”
“Don’t s—”
“No. Let me say it while I still can.”
You inhaled shakily. “Right now, I want to say that— that’s what hurts me the most about this.”
You wiped your eyes, tears catching in your lashes.
“I just want you to know how much I love you. Always. Even if I— if I forget who you are. Just know I love you. I’ll always love you. A-And I’m going to say it as much as I can until I… until I don’t even—”
A sob tore out of you.
“—until I don’t even know how to say it anymore.”
Sukuna stared blankly ahead at the traffic lights, the empty stretch of road illuminated in red.
Then, suddenly, he pulled over, shut off the engine, and unbuckled his seatbelt, turning to you fully.
“C’mere. Please.”
For a split second he feared you’d forgotten — but then you unbuckled and climbed awkwardly into his lap, limbs shaky but determined.
A soft giggle slipped out of you as he had to push the seat back.
“What’s funny?” he asked with a small smile, kissing your jaw.
“Do I also have to be crying about my imminent doom while we’re dryhumping?”
He didn’t tell you to stop joking about it like he would have earlier in the process. Instead he pressed a slow kiss to your neck.
“Dryhumping, huh?” he murmured. “Is that what you call this?”
“Well, it’s not wet-humping… yet.”
Soon after came the day you had to tell your parents.
It was a cold day; the leaves were frost-bitten, and even the usual flocks of sparrows seemed absent from the power lines.
Your mother opened the door with her warm smile, hugging both you and Sukuna, teasing him with, “I hope she hasn’t been too difficult,” until you let out an indignant protest.
“You two came early,” your father noted from his chair by the window, offering a polite but distant smile.
Then you swallowed.
Sukuna wondered if you remembered — the entire drive you had insisted you needed to be the one to tell them, unless you forgot.
Somehow, you didn’t.
Your condition was fickle like that.
Some days you couldn’t recognize your own apartment building. Other days, you almost seemed untouched — as though nothing had ever gone wrong, as though you were living the life and marriage you were supposed to.
“We… have something important to tell you,” you said firmly, continuing before your thoughts could scatter. Sukuna liked this new habit of yours — and he was working hard to drop his own habit of cutting you off mid-sentence.
“I’ve been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease, and, uh—” You reached into your pocket and pulled out a folded note. “I only have a few months left to live,” you announced proudly, pleased the reminder had done its job.
Your parents, meanwhile, had just heard the type of news that shatters reality.
Silence.
“I… what?” your father said finally, voice sharp with disbelief. “She’s in her twenties. How is that even possible? They must have misdiagnosed.”
“I know it’s hard to believe,” Sukuna said, “but the diagnosis is confirmed. She’s been having memory lapses — forgetting conversations, getting lost. We’re working with specialists.”
Your mother pressed a hand over her mouth. “Oh… oh my God.”
What Sukuna saw on their faces resonated too deeply: the shock, the fear, the guilt — and above all, the helplessness.
For two days, you stayed at your parents’ house — sharing meals, using them as chances for your parents to retell stories from your childhood. You made terrible jokes, forgot them, then made them again.
And there were the serious talks — the ones that peeled everything raw.
Sukuna knew it was irrational and unfair, but part of him felt a small, illogical resentment towards your mother.
She was the one who passed down the mutated gene.
She was the one who didn’t have to suffer from it.
But there was nothing she could have done — except not have you.
And his resentment faded, because despite everything, at least you were here.
At least he got to spend a childhood with you, marry you, love you — even if the time was short.
Better than nothing.
And he felt guilty for even that small angry fragment of himself, because it was obvious how deeply your mother blamed herself — how she sobbed when he told her about the DNA results, wishing she could take it from you, suffer in your place.
They wanted you to stay longer — of course they did — but your own home was where your brain still felt safest.
It was the place you navigated best, tailored with accommodations and sticky notes labeling every appliance.
Soon you were back in the apartment — after asking twice on the drive where you were going.
Sukuna watched carefully, waiting to see if you recognized the building.
To his relief, you did.
And then Alzheimer trotted out.
Your face lit up instantly as you crouched to pet her — Sukuna had almost forgotten he’d be reintroducing you to the ugly creature regularly.
But you were so happy, and Alzheimer was purring and headbutting you so enthusiastically, that for a moment the cat almost looked… cute.
“Aww, we have a cat! What’s her name?”
“How’d you know it was a her?” he asked.
“Because we’re soulmates,” you replied simply, picking her up to plant a smooch on her forehead.
Once again, he had no idea if you were joking.
“Well… her name is Alzheimer,” Sukuna sighed. “And before you say anything — you were the one who named her.”
You blinked, then laughed. “So I’ve always been funny?”
“Funny is pushing it,” he said, ruffling your hair.
You swatted his hand away, grumbling — and he never imagined something so small would one day bring him genuine happiness.
And something clicked in him then — a faint, spider-silk silver lining woven through all the darkness:
You would get to experience small firsts again and again — moments new to you each time, born from the loss of the last.
That night he put on one of your comfort movies — you sprawled across his chest, and the ugly cat perched proudly on top of you, purring like a broken engine.
It was a movie you had declared “your new favorite movie” the first time you watched it.
And this time, your commentary and reactions truly felt like it was your first time seeing it.
Afterward, you turned to him and said:
“That’s now my favorite movie… until I forget it and watch a new one.”
“You’d do numbers on Letterboxd.”
You frowned. “What’s Lett— actually, don’t tell me.”
You pulled out your phone, Googled it, then burst out laughing. “That was a good one. Say it again when I forget.”
He once told you not to make jokes like that.
Now he prayed you’d never stop.
“It was exclusive,” he said. “One time only.”
“Fine. The cat — what’s her name?”
“Alzheimer.”
“Right. Alzheimer’s sleeping with us tonight.”
“…Like she doesn’t every night?”
“Sukuna! Can you have some manners and use her correct pronouns?!”
You scratched Alzheimer’s head and hummed thoughtfully.
“You should get used to her… You’re gonna have to take care of her after I’m gone.”
His chest tightened — but he knew it was your right to speak about your own death.
And, strangely, he was grateful you were lucid enough to tell him these things, because many people never got the chance.
“…Just in case,” you added softly, “I’ll come back as a ghost after I die to make sure.”
“You’d come back for her and not for me?”
“I’d come back to feel you up around the apartment.”
He grinned, pulling you closer until you made a small noise of protest. “Promise?”
You answered by kissing him — one hand already sliding under his shirt to grab at one of his pecs.
When few other plants bloomed, the wintersweet took up the emptiness, dotting the city with pale yellow buds and perfuming the cool, dry air with a scent like warm honey. On the coldest mornings, it carried faint notes of cinnamon and clove.
Sukuna knew all this because you loved them — arguably more than the cherry blossoms the rest of the country waited for each spring.
He took you for a walk one of those mornings, and the familiar scent brought a light back into your eyes, like stained glass catching the sun.
Then, out of nowhere, you remembered the wintersweet shrub in his childhood yard.
How you’d always come over just to pluck the blossoms, even though he complained they smelled like “bug spray.”
Sukuna reminded you that it was only because you used to shove them into your pencil cases until they rotted.
You giggled — and for a moment, he swore you looked exactly the way you had back then. That same unguarded, teasing smile that had snared him since the first time he saw it at the corner shop.
Sukuna would be lying if he said he didn’t get at least a little entertainment out of watching you retry forgotten favorites — curious each time to see how you’d react.
Some things still felt partially familiar to you, and occasionally, they even nudged a memory loose.
And then there were the things you’d forgotten completely — where every reaction was a coin toss.
One afternoon, Sukuna called you over and handed you a piece of warabi mochi.
You took it and frowned at it like it might be a trap. “What is this? Are you sure I like it?”
“You used to.”
Another suspicious glare.
“Just try it,” he coaxed.
Finally, you took a small bite… paused… then nodded and finished the rest.
“So?”
“It was… agreeable,” you pronounced.
“I can see you staring at the box. You know you can just eat the rest, right?”
Within the hour, the entire box was gone.
Two days later, Sukuna continued his “experiment” by bringing home another box.
“Try,” he said, holding a piece to your lips while you were journaling on the couch.
You narrowed your eyes at it. “What are you attempting to put into my mouth?”
“Mochi. Just try it.”
“…It doesn’t look like mochi.”
“That’s because you only remember the kind you grew up eating. This is different.”
He found it hilarious that you shot him the exact same suspicious look as last time before taking a bite.
“Well? What does the princess think?”
You scowled, nose wrinkling as you recoiled. “The princess thinks you deceived her into consuming that wretched thing.”
Sukuna bit the inside of his cheek, amusement sparking in his eyes.
“What?” you demanded.
“You actually liked this when I gave it to you two days ago.”
“Sukuna, I don’t accuse you of lying, but… that simply cannot be true.” You shook your head with full confidence. “No one knowingly enjoys that.”
“Seriously? Warabi mochi is where you start questioning reality?”
“Well, it does have a very questionable taste.”
He exhaled a laugh and kissed the top of your head. “You’re going to like it next time, and I’ll remind you exactly of what you said.”
You hummed and tilted your cheek toward him — a quiet, subtle request for affection. You’d been doing that more often. Forgetting meant moments slipped away quickly, so he kept making more for you.
You squealed as he grabbed your face and peppered exaggerated, wet kisses all over your cheeks while you squirmed and protested.
“Ew—! Sukuna!”
When you finally caught your breath, you glared at him as he chuckled at your misery.
“Why can’t you come here and kiss me like a normal husband?” you demanded, setting your journal aside.
Sukuna glanced at Alzheimer, perched smugly in your lap. “…We’re going to have a make-out session with that thing sitting on you?”
You shot him another glare before moving the cat. “I’m doing this for her sake, not yours.”
“Thank you for clarifying, my dear.”
You beamed as he crossed the room in a few long strides, the couch dipping under his weight as he sat beside you.
He cupped your face in his hands, his lips brushing yours.
“Are you going to laugh this time?” he teased.
“Why would I do that?” you murmured, feeling your smile against his mouth.
“Trust me,” he breathed, lowering his voice as he kissed your bottom lip and swept his tongue along it, “even I don’t know.”
You reciprocated; letting him in but probing his tongue with yours as always.
He leaned back, pulling you with him till your bodies were pressed together, breasts squished against his hard chest.
You did your usual and forced your way into his mouth, kissing him in a manner that any other man would perceive as some kind of oral inspection, by way of your tongue worming its way into every corner of his mouth and teeth.
Palms roaming, they squeezed your ass as you moaned softly into his mouth.
Sex was an area of your life that thus far was minimally impacted—perhaps because of the strong emotional attachment and intimate connection with him.
The counselor suggested that regular sex as usual could possibly help parts of your memory last a bit longer.
And then, you started giggling into his mouth.
Sukuna broke the kiss, a smile tugging at his lips. "See? You do that every time," he kissed your lips again softly. "Even did it at our wedding. You remember?"
You grinned and nodded.
Time in nature seemed to do you good.
So sometimes he took you on short trips to the outskirts of the city — renting an Airbnb for a night or two among the winter pines.
The first time you stayed there, you woke at dawn — just in time to catch the first frost forming across the pond outside the window.
It reflected the rising sun in shades of cool slate and molten orange.
Lotus bones littered ponds not yet frozen over, and winter butterflies perched motionless on branches like icicles too cold to fly.
The world was strangely more beautiful when you knew you wouldn’t have it for much longer. It’s in the face of an inevitable ending that even the smallest details become awe-inspiring.
Sukuna knew this because although you were the one dying physically, his world would die right alongside you.
It was in one of those rental cabins — after several times of you asking where you were and how you’d gotten there — that he found himself answering patiently each time, with a gentleness that surprised even him.
And even though you usually forgot Alzheimer’s name, you’d ask about the cat, and Sukuna reassured you they’d left food and water and that she’d be perfectly fine until you returned.
Back in the apartment one day, you were journaling in the living room while he cooked.
Except you would occasionally call out a random question about him.
“What’s your favorite food?”
“Did you play any sports in high school?”
“What’s your go-to drink at the bar?”
He answered them idly — only to find later that you were writing everything down in your journal, because you showed him.
“You can look through it whenever you want.”
Sukuna blinked. “No, no, sweetheart. I think it’s good you have a private place to put your thoughts—”
“Sukuna,” you gently interrupted, “my thoughts are also your thoughts at this point. We’re basically sharing a brain. Yours supporting mine where it… fails.”
He went quiet — he wanted you to keep as much autonomy as possible, for as long as possible.
“And in the future, you’ll probably have to be my brain,” you added softly. “And there’s no one I trust more than you. So maybe it’s… useful if you go through it.”
Finally he sighed, pulling you in and kissing your cheek.
Sukuna had always been handsy with you, but for obvious reasons it had increased — until the point he switched to a full work-from-home schedule just to stay close. Not because you necessarily needed it yet, but because he couldn’t stand being apart from you.
He took you everywhere if he could — grocery runs, laundry trips, anything that required leaving the apartment.
And inside the apartment he stuck to you like Velcro — eating meals with you on his lap, letting you lean against him while he worked and you read or journaled.
By then, you always showered together.
“Sukuna… I still know how to do things like… shower,” you said hesitantly one day, a little offended. “I might forget that I already did it earlier, but… you don’t need to baby me. It hasn’t gotten to that point.”
Baby you?
The word hit him like a knife — because not once had he questioned your autonomy.
But you knew him too well, even now, even like this. Without him saying a word, you could read the conflict in his eyes.
And then you teared up. “Shit, I’m sorry. I can’t believe how badly I misread you.”
Just like that, you were crying again, throwing your arms around him. “I’m s-sorry I keep only thinking about myself, and I don’t even think about how this must feel for you—”
You’d always been like this — so full of empathy for him that it felt like you shared one heart between two rib cages.
He breathed deeply and rubbed your back. “Alright, calm down… I understand if you want sp—”
“NO!” you sobbed, clutching him tighter. “I don’t want any space — I want you around till the end—”
His chest constricted sharply, but he let out a single soft laugh. “Of course I’ll be around… so maybe you can relax a little and we can go shower?”
The doctors had warned them — neurodegenerative decline would make your emotions more volatile, your moods more turbulent.
And you’d always been a little sensitive with him — in ways no one else ever got to see.
Sniffling, you asked, “Is it wash day? I don’t remember when I shampooed.”
“Tomorrow.”
Yes — he’d memorized your hair-washing schedule.
“…Let’s do it today anyway.”
“You just want an excuse for me to give you a scalp massage.”
It was inevitable — you'd started forgetting bigger and bigger things, relying more and more on the notes in your journal.
Some days you forgot you had a cat at all — always surprised to come home and find Alzheimer trotting up to greet you.
But it all happened gradually. Your lives bent and shifted around the losses: it became routine for him to remind you what you had eaten minutes ago, the cat’s name, what you’d done the day before. Once, you even showered twice because you’d forgotten the first one.
These things became your new normal.
And every time your eyes glazed over as another small detail fell away — another thread of your life together unraveling — he had to pretend it didn’t break him.
Had to pretend he wasn’t watching the love of his life die in real time.
In slow motion.
And he could do nothing but accept it.
One evening, he rushed into the living room the instant he heard one of your sobs — the kind that cracked the air open, sharp and panicked.
You were crumpled in on yourself, tears dripping from your chin, splattering onto the open journal in your lap.
He crossed the room in a heartbeat, mind racing through every horrible possibility.
“Honey? What happened?”
Then he saw the page.
The entry you had written earlier — your own reminder of your own fate.
“A few m-months?!” you sobbed, whole body shaking as he wrapped an arm around you. “I’m going to die in… a few months?!”
He had known this moment would come eventually — the moment some coincidence of page-turning and timing would let you rediscover the truth with fresh terror.
“Oh sweetheart… I don’t know if this helps, but you were at peace with it, I think. You even wrote it gently to yourself—”
“She doesn’t know anything!” you wailed. “That’s not me. She’s not me. I don’t care if she was okay with it — and if she was, I hate her, I hate her, because this isn’t o-okay—”
She.
You were fracturing — splintering into temporary versions of yourself, each destined to vanish.
Even this one would disappear soon, swept under the current of your disease.
“You’re right. It’s not okay,” he murmured, reaching for you again.
But this time you shoved him away — physically pushed him back with a desperate, trembling strength.
Your hands clutched at your scalp as your sobs turned ragged, tipping toward hyperventilation.
He tried not to take it personally.
But it was the first time you had rejected him completely — the first time his presence meant nothing, the first time he couldn’t soothe you.
Then through the shaking, you choked out—
“H–How can any part of me be okay with leaving you behind, Sukuna—? That’s… that’s why I hate her.”
You weren’t mourning the primal fear of death.
You were mourning the separation — the knowledge that you would be taken from him piece by piece, until nothing remained.
His voice felt fragile when he finally spoke.
“Maybe… maybe you should write another letter. For when you forget this. So you can remind yourself how you felt.”
It steadied you — not entirely, but enough.
Sniffling, face blotchy, you picked up the pen with trembling fingers and began to write furiously, racing to capture every thought before this version of you slipped away.
Sukuna tried to shift back, give you space — but your hand shot out, fingers brushing his sleeve.
“Wait… just stay until I’m done.”
So he stayed.
And when you finished, you set the letter on his lap with a soft thump.
“Read it.”
Quietly, he scanned it — your handwriting unmistakable, hurried, aching:
Sukuna had to quickly hand the journal back to you, with a mumbled, "It, uh…seems good."
Because there was pressure expanding inside him. Behind his ribs, behind his eyes in his skull, inside his lungs.
He felt like he could choke on it.
You forgot it.
Of course you did.
But two days later he found you sitting on the floor beside the coffee table, legs folded neatly under you, late-afternoon light slanting through the curtains in long pale stripes. You weren’t moving — just staring at your journal held in both hands.
Sukuna knew instantly which pages it was open to.
He stopped in the doorway and said nothing.
You were reading — eyes moving slowly across the lines, lips parted just enough that it seemed like you were tasting the words more than understanding them.
Your breath hitched, barely audible.
And then you looked up at him.
In your face — that fragile confusion, the flicker of dread, the tremble of distant recognition — he could tell exactly which version of you he was speaking to.
“…Did I write this?” you asked.
Your voice was soft, thinner than usual — the tone you had when the world wasn’t aligning properly.
He approached carefully, lowering himself to sit beside you.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “You did.”
Your gaze dropped back to the pages, your fingers tightening around the edges.
“This… this sounds like someone who wasn’t scared,” you whispered. “Like she knew things I don’t.”
“That was you on a good day,” Sukuna murmured. “A clearer day.”
You swallowed, eyes wet but not yet falling. “She sounds braver than me.”
He shook his head. “She is you.”
A beat of silence.
You set the letter in your lap and pressed your palms over your eyes — not crying, not fully — but breathing like every inhale cost something.
“I hate this,” you said, voice trembling. “I hate that I don’t know things she knew. I hate that she keeps leaving me behind.”
He reached for your hands slowly, cautiously, like approaching something wounded, and gently drew them away from your face.
“You’re not being left behind,” he said — low, steady, deliberate, as though he wasn’t just as terrified. “I’m here. Every version of you, every day. I’m here.”
You stared at him for a long, aching moment.
Then whispered, almost ashamed, “I don’t know how to be me anymore.”
Sukuna exhaled — not with frustration, but with a quiet, devastated tenderness he never showed anyone else.
“That’s alright,” he said softly. “Then I’ll remember for both of us.”
You blinked rapidly, trying to find equilibrium, then looked down at the letter again. Your thumb brushed over the final line — the one your past self had left like a lifeline thrown across time.
Even if our memory breaks into pieces, our love is something this disease cannot erase.
“…She was right,” you said faintly.
Sukuna nodded. “She was.”
You leaned into him then — slowly, almost uncertainly, like stepping into cold water — and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, holding you together as another piece of you slipped away.
And for that moment, that version of you, in that thin, fading sliver of afternoon light, it was enough.
Those nights were long, opaque with cold and the piercing silence of frost. Sometimes, thunder cracked through the Earth’s frigid ceiling — low, rolling, ancient. Sukuna braced himself each time, ready for the deep noises to frighten you.
But somehow, they didn’t.
If anything, winter thunder seemed to calm you.
And there were pictures.
So many pictures.
Sukuna had never been one for selfies — and he still wasn’t. He preferred taking photos of you more than anything.
But soon his phone filled with pictures of the both of you — him looking as mildly inconvenienced as ever, you with your awkward little smile because you never quite learned how to pose for a camera, and Alzheimer’s odd, unfortunate face popping into frame whenever she felt entitled to be included.
It was another weekly trip to your parents’ house. Sukuna lingered by the doorway, quietly watching you move among the shelves as you helped your parents sift through old boxes.
Your father straightened with a small stack of VHS tapes in hand. “Look what I found,” he said, grinning. “Some old home videos… thought you two might like to see them.”
You tilted your head, curiosity flickering. “Home… videos?”
“Yeah,” your father chuckled, handing the top tape to Sukuna. “A few from when you were kids. Figured it might be fun to watch.”
Sukuna nodded and crouched in front of the old television, fiddling with the ancient VCR. The cables tangled under his hand, and he muttered something under his breath as he worked them apart. When he looked up, you were perched at the edge of the couch — expectant but hesitant, as though you were trying to prepare for something you couldn’t predict.
The screen flickered to life.
There you were — tiny, laughing, running barefoot across the yard, your hand wrapped around a much younger him. The sun caught your hair the same way it still did now, and your laughter rang out impossibly bright, filling the room.
Then, from the background, came Wasuke’s voice — a voice Sukuna hadn’t heard since he passed years ago.
“SukuNNAAAAA! DID YOU FINISH THE ONIGIRI?!”
Your father snorted. “You were that man’s grief, Sukuna.”
“It was mutual,” Sukuna replied dryly. “The last thing he did before dying was lecture me.”
The joke landed, but the pull in his gut remained — nostalgia mingled with fear.
Because the girl on the screen was gone, and the woman beside him… was slipping, little by little.
He noticed your breathing hitch before he saw the tears.
You sank into the couch, sweater pressed to your face, and the first tears slid down your cheeks. Sukuna moved without thinking — sliding closer, draping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “You don’t have to hold it in.”
You leaned into him, shoulders shaking, grief trembling through your body — grief and something else, something softer. A fragile awe at what had been.
Your father watched silently, gentle and patient.
“It’s…gone,” you choked out. “I d-don’t remember that… it’s gone—”
Sukuna pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s not gone,” he said quietly. “It’s right here.” He tapped his chest, then nodded toward the flickering screen. “And we still get to keep it. Together.”
He held you close, feeling the warmth and trembling of your body against his. The grainy images flickered across the room — sunlit childhood, tiny versions of two lives now so painfully intertwined.
In that moment, the past and present collided — fragile, bittersweet — and Sukuna promised silently, fiercely, that he would carry every memory, every fragment, for both of you.
Slowly, even core knowledge began to chip away — and it was bittersweet, because losing those fundamentals made you find more reasons to fall in love with living.
The apartment was quiet except for the low hum of the television and the occasional squeak of the radiator.
You sat cross-legged on the floor, eyes wide and glued to the screen. The narrator droned on about the great whales of the Pacific, but you barely seemed to hear him.
“Wait… they’re mammals?!” you blurted, leaning forward as if the TV had revealed a world-shattering secret.
Sukuna chuckled from the couch, watching your eyebrows shoot up in disbelief.
“Yes,” he said, tilting his head. “Whales breathe air. They’re mammals.”
“No way.” You shook your head, baffled. “They live in the water and everything… but they breathe air? That’s insane.”
“Some whales can hold their breath for over an hour,” he added, warmth curling in his chest at your fascination.
“An hour?!”
Sukuna thought you were impressed.
Instead, your brows furrowed in offense. “...That’s stupid. They’re that big, they literally live in the ocean, and they can only hold their breath for an hour?!”
“How long do you think you could hold your breath underwater?”
“The difference,” you deadpanned, “is that I don’t need to hold my breath underwater because I live on land. They don’t have the same excuse.”
Because of your nature-documentary marathons, Sukuna ended up with more useless animal facts than he ever expected to possess.
It was worth it, though — every time your eyes sparkled as you rediscovered the wonder of the world, hardly able to believe you lived on the same planet as these creatures.
(Those cannot be real, you insisted after seeing giraffes.)
By far, your favorite subject was tigers — because they “reminded you of him.”
More than once, Sukuna had to break the news that there was no feasible—or legal—way to go somewhere and pet a tiger, much to your dramatic disappointment.
About seventy-five percent of the time you’d respond by laughing and scooping Alzheimer into your arms.
“It’s okay. She’s close enough. I can’t believe she’s actually related to tigers.”
“I can’t believe it either,” Sukuna muttered, glaring at the creature.
You laughed — and the sound filled the apartment like sunlight breaking through clouds.
fluff and crack - dad!sukuna snitching to santa on baby!yuji
you are in the kitchen.
it is 9:47pm.
yuji’s bedtime was supposed to be 8:00pm.
surprise surprise, yuji is not in bed.
your toddler is shirtless. sweaty. vibrating around like a popcorn kernel that someone forgot to take off the heat. there is a mysterious smear of something on his cheek.
you do not want to know what it is.
and sukuna, your grown-ass husband, is on the phone.
serious voice. pacing.
“hello, is this santa’s workshop? yes. i’d like to report a misbehaving boy. yes, i’ll hold.”
from across the living room, yuji freezes.
then-
“NOOOOOOOO”
he launches himself at his father like a very small, very loud demon. sukuna lifts the imaginary phone higher. effortlessly dodging yuji’s chubby fists.
“hello? mr claus? thank you for picking up. it’s sukuna. yes. that sukuna.”
yuji is now hanging off his leg like a koala. one sock on. one sock missing. hair a disaster. eyes wide with betrayal.
“this is about my son, yuji.”
“oh, you already knew? yeah. i figured. you already knew he wasn’t going to bed on time.”
yuji shrieks. “NOOOOOO SANTA NOOOOOO”
“did you also know, mr claus, that he is currently assaulting me with his tiny fists? yes. repeatedly. because he does not wish for you to be informed of his crimes.”
yuji headbutts him directly in the chin.
there is a loud thump.
sukuna doesn’t even flinch.
“mmhm. yes. i agree. very bad behavior. extremely naughty list material. uh-huh. no presents. maybe just coal. the dusty kind.”
“oh and something else? eating vegetables like brussel sprouts and peas?!”
“MUMMMMMYYYYY” yuji howls. he abandons his attack on sukuna and desperately sprints to you in the kitchen.
“what happened,” you ask calmly while sipping your tea.
“daddy’s on the phone with SANTA,” yuji sobs dramatically. “and he’s SNITCHING ON ME.”
you blink.
“good.”
yuji wails louder.
from the couch, sukuna purposely raises his voice.
“yes mr claus. and yesterday he threw a chicken nugget at the dog. yes. direct hit. impressive aim, terrible morals. no, i don’t believe the dog forgives him either. yes, i’ll hold.”
“THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT” yuji shrieks like a banshee.
“was it?” sukuna mutters into the ‘phone’ (a paw patrol themed calculator). “mr claus would like clarification. was it really an accident or are you lying?”
yuji gasps. “I WAS DOING SCIENCE”
you choke on your tea.
sukuna covers the imaginary receiver. “he says it was science. as if he knows what science even is.”
pause.
“mr claus says science does not excuse violence towards beloved pets.”
yuji clutches your leg tighter. “MAMA TELL HIM I’M GOOD.”
you glance at sukuna.
he’s trying not to smile. failing.
“have you been good” you ask gently.
yuji sniffles. thinks very hard.
“…sometimes.”
“hm.”
sukuna stands up, towering, still holding the ‘phone’ to his ear. he lowers it toward yuji.
yuji stares at it like it’s radioactive.
“say sorry to santa,” sukuna instructs solemnly.
yuji whispers, trembling, “i’m sorry santa. i love you. i will go to bed now. please give me presents.”
sukuna takes the phone back and nods very gravely.
“mmhm. yes. he says he loves you. yes. okay. deal. he’ll brush his teeth and get into pajamas immediately. yes. thank you, mr claus. merry christmas.”
he hangs up.
silence.
yuji bolts down the hallway at full speed.
“I’M BRUSHING MY TEETH!!!”
a crash follows.
you and sukuna stand in the kitchen doorway, listening to frantic bathroom noises.
you raise an eyebrow at him.
“really?”
he shrugs. “worked, didn’t it?”
you try not to smile.
he leans closer, voice dropping.
“i can call santa on you too, you know.”
“oh?”
“yeah. report that you keep giving me those bedroom eyes. very naughty behavior.”
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. minor injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. panic attacks. self-loathing. mentions of difficulty eating. legal drama (likely with inaccuracies). medical content. minor descriptions of wounds. mentions of arachnids. withdrawal. pet names. oral (f! receiving). p in v. nipple play. fingering. neck kissing. marking. body worship. size difference. praise. aftercare.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6'11".
❦ words ; 29.1k.
❦ a/n ; was listening to free by mother mother while writing much of this, thought some of you may enjoy listening to it as well :)
main masterlist || series masterlist || ⏮ prev || next ⏭ - coming soon
The realization that withdrawal is a cruel beast would sneak up on Sukuna sooner than he could have hoped.
As the sun creeps over the horizon, slipping through the blinds and coloring the wall in golden stripes, the brute groans at the staunch ache in his head. His limbs are heavy, ridden with an itch that spreads across every inch of his skin. There’s really no better word to describe the feeling than simply uncomfortable.
He rolls back, dropping his arms down to the mattress when he’s surprised to find something preventing his arm from touching the mattress. Squinting harshly at the early sun invading his vision, he twists to find you still curled up beneath the covers, facing away from him.
For a moment, that’s all the world is. Your soft breaths, a glimpse at your bare skin as his shirt rides up over your waist, your hair mussed with sleep.
You look beautiful.
He blinks, grateful he didn’t awaken you in his restless state. He brushes his finger down your upper arm, sliding his hand down to your elbow as you temporarily relieve the crawling sensation under his skin, giving him something else to focus on. He savors it for as long as he can, his gaze dragging over your form with deliberate care.
He keeps himself within that bubble until it threatens to burst, giving his mind an out from the craving threatening to pull him back into its clutches. He yearns to wrap himself around you, shut his eyes and wait for his heart to sync with yours as the waking world lets him fall from its grasp; but the discomfort sitting on the backburner lurks at the corners of his mind, and he knows this moment can only last so long.
He knew it would come, Uraume had warned him what it would be like based on the few times they’d tried to quit. An itch you can’t scratch, the constant cravings, hunger, restlessness, irritability. They hadn’t warned him about the pounding behind his head, nor the anxiety. Though he supposes symptoms likely differ.
But fuck, he could do without those two.
As the bubble bursts and everything creeps over him like a shadow, he rolls to his side in hopes that the headache might lessen.
It’s all in vain. If anything, it’s worse on his side and he rolls onto his back again, taking a deep breath. He can physically feel the tremor now. Or maybe it’s the itch, but it crawls and scuttles up to his chest with that horrific sensation that he’s choking.
Fuck, maybe he should have waited to do this until he felt more prepared. Until he was more secure in his relationship with you, and maybe he could have taken some time off.
But he’d wrongly assumed he could handle this.
Throwing the covers off, he glances back once more at you before heading into the living space and shutting the door behind him. His gaze washes over the living room; scattered blankets piled on the couch and the pillow thrown to the floor, the table pulled out from the wall with the candle now dormant and flowers awaiting the warmth of the arriving sun.
Staring out onto the balcony sends a fresh chill over his skin that has him recoiling as he’s reminded of smoking. Balling his hands into fists, he heads for the Ibuprofen cabinet in an effort to cure at least the headache. Grabbing whatever drink hits his hand first, he downs the pill and drink, wrinkling his nose when he stares down at whatever he just swallowed.
Expired orange juice.
Great.
Dumping it down the drain, he haphazardly tosses the carton atop the counter and takes a seat at the table, harshly rubbing his forehead in an effort to stop the incessant pounding.
Even as it lessens slightly over drawn out minutes, the sensation never fully dulls. Worse still, it leaves behind a dizzying sensation that he thinks might be even worse.
His morning is a slog. Slow, scattered, and distant.
Texting Uraume to ask how they dealt with it.
Cleaning up a dish.
Sitting down.
Growing frustrated.
Staring out the window.
Remembering the half-finished smokes are in the garbage under the sink.
Playing what feels like a losing game against his brain.
Putting away a dish.
Damn near losing his patience over dropping a sponge.
Sitting.
Standing.
Dishes.
Being informed that the feeling should pass in a few days.
Such bullshit.
Sitting again.
Pacing.
Going outside.
Coming back inside.
“Kuna?”
Just as he steps through the threshold from the balcony, he finds you still wrapped in the comforter from atop his bed. Your hair is a mess, your makeup is smudged across your cheeks, and your eyes are barely open.
You look like everything he could ever want in life.
“Did I wake you up?”
“I heard the door and you weren’t in bed,” you murmur, yawning into the blanket you have cocooned around yourself.
He sighs, scratching the back of his neck, but that itch never quite leaves. “Go back to bed, princess. ‘M just cleaning up a bit.”
You peer past him at the kitchen, though you don’t see any disarray for him to clean. The living room is back in order with a blanket messily folded and set on the cushions, the table has been pushed back into place and the water for the flowers has been topped up.
He’s been up for longer than he’s letting on. You know he’s an early riser, but that’s always been courtesy of the kids, who are still sound asleep given that the sun is barely peeking over the horizon and it’s been doing that earlier these days.
“Come back with me?”
Your request is soft, warm, and inviting. Your voice is thick with sleep and Sukuna yearns for the reality that lets him slip back under the sheets with you, but he knows the incessant discomfort won’t allow him that serenity.
Caught within a multitude of frustrations, it pisses him off.
He presses a thumb to his temple, tight-lipped as he shakes his head. “Don’t think I can sleep anymore.”
Clutching the blanket tighter around yourself, you drag it across the floor until you’re standing right in front of him. If your narrowed eyes are anything to go off of, you’re ready to call his bluff. Slipping your hand out from between the blankets, he recognizes the pointed shove that you’re about to give him, as though he might fall over with a little encouragement.
He didn’t think he looked that tired.
He doesn’t feel that tired.
But truthfully he’s not really sure what exactly he’s feeling.
He just knows that the last thing he wants is for the string holding him together right now to be pulled any tighter.
Grabbing your wrist before you can make your point, he huffs out a long and heavy sigh. “Angel, I don’t think I have the patience for this right now and I don’t wanna snap.”
You blink up at him, but you don’t recoil or pull back. No, because this is improvement. This is communication. You can see now that this is the sharp side of him, the one that bristles under pressure and snarls when you poke it. You’re not sure what’s brought this out, but that’s okay, because growth doesn’t happen overnight.
So… “What’s wrong?”
He inhales, his grip on your arm shifting as the tension from his body releases. His hand slides up your arm, fingers curling around your elbow as he gently tugs you towards him. Your warmth seeps into him, his shirt still cool from the early morning air as the faint smell of the city clings to him.
The harsh smell of smoke that would usually trail after him has faded, though.
And you figure you might have your answer there.
He holds you tight to his chest, his muscles rippling with each breath as though he can’t let go of the tension within them. “It’s not your fault,” he starts reassuringly, “just can’t sit still,” he grumbles in harsh contrast to the gentle nature with which he rubs your back over the thick blankets. You can’t really feel it, but the sentiment is there. “Everything is getting to me. The cars, the birds, even the fuckin’ fridge is pissing me off,” he sighs.
“Is it the withdrawal?” You query.
“I hope so,” he jokes frailly.
“I remember Suguru avoided everyone for the first few days after he quit. He said something similar,” you offer.
He nods, lowering his head and burying it in your hair. He was joking last night about getting his fix, but truthfully this is the only moment since he first awoke where the static of the world seems to stop. Maybe you are his fix after all.
“I can manage a couple of days,” Sukuna begrudgingly mutters into your hair, shutting his eyes.
Your voice has a muffled quality as you speak against his chest. “What’s it like?”
He searches for words for a moment. “Just… shitty. A little itchy. Don’t wanna do anything but I can’t sit still.” Headache. Cravings. Hunger.
“Did you get any sleep after you woke up from the nightmare?” You yawn against his chest.
“A little. Having you there helped.”
Warmth floods your chest. You nuzzle your face against his chest, earning a satisfied hum from deep within. His chest vibrates against your cheek. “I’m glad,” you murmur softly. “None of us are going anywhere, you know.”
His chest rises and falls. As much as he fears snapping at you, your presence in his arms is the steadiest he’s felt since dawn broke. “I know. Just feels like if I blink, everything will slip away.”
You kiss his chest. It’s terribly sweet and melts away another ounce of his tension. “We’re not going anywhere. None of us,” you assure him, your tone heartening in spite of the adorably sleepy lilt it also shares. “And if anything happens, you’ve got me, Toji, Uraume, Satoru, and everyone else in your corner.”
The silence that follows is neither heavy nor light. Something in between, like a bird ready to take flight. Finally, he sighs. His hand resumes its movement up and down your back. You smile against his chest as he settles.
“I can’t convince you to come back to bed?”
“I don’t wanna keep you awake.”
Your fingers curl into his shirt, your weight slumping against him. “I don’t think you could,” you admit, another yawn warming his skin through the cotton of his shirt. It sends a chill up his spine.
He squeezes you tighter. Whether he’s trying to keep you warm or trying to steal your body heat for himself, he can’t be sure. What he does know is that you’ve given him something to focus on, something that isn’t the cravings, the discomfort, or the rattling. So with a soft “alright,” he gives in and tucks you into his side as he heads back with you to his bedroom.
Rather than spreading the blanket across the bed, you invite him into the cocoon of blankets you’ve procured. Limbs tangle together as warmth washes back over you.
He supposes you were right to assume that he couldn’t keep you up. You’re asleep before there’s even a sheep to be herded, let alone counted.
Curled around you once more, your words and actions stick with him. The fact that you didn’t pull away, you weren’t hurt when he dissuaded your teasing. He didn’t fuck things up for once. For all of his irritability, for all of the jitteriness slinking deep within his bones, he went about things the right way, and there’s relief to be found within that.
Like a mantra, he repeats the moment in his mind. Your gentle understanding, the warmth of your frame around his. The way your fingers clutch his shirt and he feels like he actually has something to give, whether it be warmth or comfort. There’s security within the fact that he doesn’t feel like he’s sucking the life from you any longer.
It isn’t all at once, but gradually the crawling dulls. The buzzing outside fades. The golden strips on the wall become a distant memory. And with each passing moment, the restless shuffling of Sukuna’s limbs settles until he finds peace again.
–
Every day that follows your date, Sukuna grows increasingly thankful that you convinced him to hop back in bed with you that morning.
By the third day of withdrawal, he’s running on fumes. Insomnia follows him like an old friend. A cold sweat clings to him, his skin slick with moisture that makes every movement feel sticky. His limbs are heavy and his mind is laden with a dense fog that only seems to heighten his frustrations.
The cravings are intense. It presents like a hunger that never dies as much as he eats, only to realize it’s all a trick of the mind. He’s dying for the subtle buzz nicotine provides and his body is begging him to rummage through the trash like some sort of animal in search of scraps.
He very seriously contemplates it at the dinner table one night.
The only thing keeping him in check is Uraume’s reassurance that once you’re past the first few days, it’s all a mental game and the physical rattling dulls. That, he can handle.
It’s the ache, the sweat, the itch. The exhaustion that doesn’t give way to sleep, making his limbs drag and leaving his mind on edge– that’s what he can’t take much more of.
It all comes to a head by the end of the third day when the kids’ door slams shut not once, but twice.
The first– Yuji. The second– Choso.
He stands in the kitchen, every little sound grating him down to his last nerve until there’s nothing left. Within the nothing– that’s when the guilt seeps in.
And he can’t tell if he hates the irritability and anger of his withdrawal or the guilt that bolts him to the ground like tar more. Really, what does it matter when they both lead to the same outcome?
The guilt is sobering, though. It pulls back the curtains on his symptoms just long enough for Sukuna to realize how much of an asshole he really is. It only makes it harder to keep holding out when one hit could bring him back to the median and keep him from pulling stupid shit like this.
Especially when just the other day he felt he’d been better. He supposes recovery and growth are never a linear path, but it still pisses him off.
His real saving grace though? You.
He pulls his phone out without thinking, scrolling to your messages. The past few days since you left his apartment the morning after your date have been spent texting non-stop. A constant back and forth of little moments in which you think about one another, discussions about the kids and plans for more dates. You passed your exams with flying colors– to no one’s surprise– and have been caught up in graduation preparations (well, preparations for Satoru’s final hurrah) and signing on full-time to the publishing house.
Life won’t slow down for either of you, but fuck he wishes it would. As he stares at your latest message, nothing more than an affirmation that you’re getting cozy in bed to read, he can only pray that you have a moment. His thumb doesn’t hesitate over the call button anymore.
You pick up on the second ring.
“Hey Kuna, how are you feeling?” Your voice is light, but edged with concern. He supposes he doesn’t call often.
Laying on his back in bed, his knee bouncing with anxiety, he lets out a sigh of relief at the sound of your voice. “Long day,” he admits. It’s roundabout, but it’s an admission in its own right.
Your shuffling on the other line might be the only static that doesn’t piss him off. Maybe he’s just that desperate to hear your voice. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Yes. “No.” Not yet. “Tell me about work.”
He can’t see your eyes narrow at the strained quality his voice has, but you oblige nonetheless. “Okay, so I told Yuki this morning that I passed all of my exams, and she seemed super excited,” you begin enthusiastically. He can hear you adjust again, practically able to envision you sitting up to excitedly tell him about Maya pulling you into her office to offer you a full-time position now that you’re officially graduating.
His eyes shut, and for a moment he has something to focus on. Something grounding and real that helps him ignore the sweat pooling at his lower back. He clings to every word like a lifeline, humming along to let you know he’s listening, congratulating you as your story comes to a close.
You notice his relative silence over the matter, though you don’t take it to heart. You know his last few days have been a stark contrast to yours, but you keep reminding him how proud you are that he’s working on himself. You hope it helps.
When he doesn’t offer much on his own day, you figure he just wants to hear your voice.
“Hey, um– my grad’s on Thursday. I know you’re probably working since it’s at eleven, but I kept a ticket for you.” You don’t mean to sound so sheepish, but a part of you hopes he can make it anyway, even if you don’t expect it given his busy schedule. “You’d be sitting with Sho, if you can make it.”
“Your parents not taking your tickets?”
“No,” you reply softly, bittersweet. “They can’t make it out here for it. Shoko’s gonna record it for them.”
He hums, recalling brief mentions that your parents couldn’t make it out here when you were struggling with your scholarship. “Promise when my head’s a little more clear, I’ll see what I can do, princess. I wanna be there.”
Your smile can’t be contained. “Thanks, Kuna.”
You appreciate both his communication that he’s out of it right now and the effort he puts into responding regardless. You appreciate that he’s trying.
He still remains relatively quiet, completely still aside from the rattle of cloth that you’re positive is his foot shaking. You move along, telling him about Satoru’s final frat party bash plans and how you’ve been roped in to handling the decorations with Kento, who has no opinion on the matter. Sukuna chuckles, sympathizing with the blonde in spite of your playful whine.
But with every passing moment, you begin to realize something is off. You know your crush is out of it. You know he’s got everything and nothing on his mind all at once, but the everything portion seems to weigh him down more heavily now.
“Hey,” you keep your tone light, but offer him the floor. “Is something wrong?”
His leg is still bouncing. You can hear the shuffle through the receiver, though it’s louder now.
“...I snapped at Yuji today.”
He can’t see your frown, but he feels it. “What happened?” Your tone remains judgement-free and he swears that the pet name ‘angel’ becomes more and more fitting by the day.
“Nothing,” he sighs. “Not really. I was just in a bad fuckin’ mood and he picked a fight with Cho.” Rubbing a hand over his face, he swaps the hand his phone sits in. “They were playing a game and Choso chose the character he wanted or something.” He settles his arm over his forehead, grateful as it blocks the warm glow of the lamp. “Cho gave up the character, but he wasn’t having it for some reason.”
He sighs, but it doesn’t relieve an ounce of tension.
“I dunno. I had a headache and was tryin’ to cook potatoes, chicken, n’ gravy at the same time and I’d already told them to figure it out themselves. He started pulling my sleeve and I dropped the spoon and gravy went everywhere and–” His arm plops to the mattress in exasperation, the sharp sound audible as it seems to sum up how exactly the night went for Sukuna.
You can hear the disappointment in his voice. He knows he’s better, that he’s grown, that he tries not to let genuine anger into his home any longer. This slipped through the cracks that once seeped with smoke and now he’s left in a pool of guilt.
And sweat.
He rolls his shoulder, adjusting as if it might help the way his sheets stick to his skin. “Worst part is things were good. We just got back from Cho’s therapy and he told me he thinks he’s ready to be on his own.” A brief pause. “Figuratively. With a babysitter. He’s mad at me too now, though.”
There’s an airy hum from your side of the call. “Choso doesn’t like when you and Yuji fight,” you agree. “Were you really upset with Yuji?”
“A little.” His brow knits. “Not really. Just frustrated.”
“You think it was the withdrawal?”
“Yeah. Fuck, I think. I hope so.”
Your lips twitch, sympathy in the form of a tight-lipped smile that he can’t see. “Did you apologize?”
“No. The kid wouldn’t understand why I’m in a bad mood. It’s a shit excuse anyway.”
“He probably doesn’t understand why you were so angry with him either way. What matters most now is how you handle it.”
His crimson gaze slides across the ceiling, allowing your words to hang within the silence. He blinks slowly, tears blurring his vision when he fights off a yawn. Rubbing at his eyes, he sighs. “You’re too good at this shit, y’know that?”
“Have I ever mentioned that Kento’s mom was a psychiatrist?”
“No, but that makes a lot of fucking sense.”
You giggle on the other line. “Yeah, I think I got a headstart on this sort of stuff.”
He cracks a hint of a smile. It bears a five o’clock shadow like no other and barely hangs on by a thread, but it’s the first one he’s managed in days. With a breathy exhale in shared amusement, he drapes his arm back over his eyes. “Guess I should go talk to him.”
“Things will work out,” you assure him.
“Thanks, angel.”
“Let me know how it goes. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Mhm.”
“Take care, Kuna.”
The hard edge of withdrawal softens briefly as he exists within your world’s embrace. “You too, princess.”
He lets you hang up first, his thumb hovering over the red button for longer than he’d care to admit. The reality of stumbling through an apology feels harder without you to cushion it.
In the short time since he snapped, shame has already made itself a home within his chest. A nest made of jagged branches settled between his vitals. He doesn’t know how to rid himself of it without scathing his lungs– or worse– his heart. Particularly when every branch has a thorn that reminds him just how the little boy sees him.
The kid’s dad. A subtle reminder of something he fears he can never provide for a soul as genuine as Yuji’s.
He curls his fingers around the first branch anyway. Wiping sweat from his brow, he tears through the shame and makes his way to the door that slammed an hour ago.
Twice.
The floor creaks beneath his heavy gaited steps, alerting the boys of his presence without a doubt, but he still hesitates to rap his knuckles against the door. Sucking in a breath, he lets the sound echo within the silence of the apartment.
Without your voice to focus on, the anxiety creeps in. Particularly when he’s met with a complete absence of a reaction. Pale, his knuckles still rest against the door. His head falls, staring at the hardwood beneath his feet, scratched and worn from where their door hangs a bit too low on the hinges. He shuffles from foot to foot, restless.
Your voice no longer provides him sanctity from his symptoms, which creep up over his shoulders. He rolls them, as if to rid himself of the sensation, but it remains steady and unrelenting.
Rubbing harshly at the dull ache behind his eyes, he pushes through and knocks on the door again. “C’mon, I know you’re both in there. You can keep being mad at me, just let me in.”
Choso’s ambivalent scowl greets him after a moment. A storm brews behind his eyes, as heavy as the gravity that pulls Sukuna’s arm down when the door opens. He exchanges a glance with the older Itadori, giving his brother a chance to slam the door in his face again, but he doesn’t. He leaves it barely ajar and returns to his bed.
Across from him, Yuji is curled into the corner of his bed facing the wall. He’s tucked beneath the covers, sniffling every few moments as though he’s tired himself out. With a heavy sigh, Sukuna steps carefully through the minefield of toys that almost feel purposefully left out given the frequency of sharper objects.
The mattress dips under Sukuna’s weight. Yuji doesn’t move, the soft rise and fall of his form remaining steady aside from sniffles.
“Hey, Yu.”
Nothing. And fuck, Sukuna is starting to get why he tends to win arguments with his sharp and pointed silences.
He curses under his breath. “I deserve that.” Staring down at his hands draped over his knees, he eyes his thumb, the tremor in that one digit much stronger than the rest. It’s the only outward sign that he’s going through anything.
Well, aside from the miserable sweat clinging to his skin.
“Look, I’m–” His throat betrays him, words catching. “I’m sorry. I didn’t handle what happened right and I shouldn’t’ve yelled at you like that.”
To Sukuna’s pained relief as he struggles through an apology, Yuji shifts to eye him from over his shoulder. The little boy’s eyes are still red as though he only just stopped crying.
Sukuna tugs a little harder at the branches nestled within his ribs, letting the thorns graze him. “I was mean, alright? I want you to get along with your brother, but I coulda like– told you that. I didn’t have to snap.” He swallows hard, the words threatening to choke him. “You have every right to be mad at me.”
“I don’t like when you yell,” he finally mutters a pitch too high, muffled by his arms as he rubs his eyes.
“Yeah. Me either.”
Yuji’s still pouting and puffy-cheeked when he flips onto his back, fiddling with the tiger plush that Sukuna can now see is tucked under his arms. It only serves to further break him.
How the hell do you explain something so complicated to a five-year-old? Reluctantly, he tries anyway. “Can I tell you why I yelled?” When he’s met with a tentative nod, he continues. “I’ve been… sick, these last few days. I–”
“You don’t look sick,” Yuji interrupts, and although it comes across in that offhanded blunt way that little kids have mastered, there’s genuine concern swimming within the child’s eyes.
He nods in agreement, dragging a hand down the thickening stubble along his jaw. “Yeah, it’s a weird kind of sick.” He parses his brains for a comparison the child might understand. “Y’know when you eat ice cream too fast and your head hurts?”
The little boy nods.
“That’s kinda how I feel.” He takes a breath to continue, but Yuji pipes in.
“But you’ll get better right?”
Sukuna’s shoulders fall as his little brother’s priorities flip on a dime. No longer upset, but worried. He often wonders whether Yuji fully understands what happened to Jin, or if he understands at all, really. He doesn’t know where the line starts and ends when it comes to how Yuji views Sukuna and how Yuji views his father. He’s not sure where it blurs.
All he can say for sure is that he’s not sure the average kid Yuji’s age would be this worried over a little illness.
“‘Course, just gimme a couple of days, okay?”
Yuji nods, cautiously scooting a little closer.
“Point is, I’m feeling pretty shitty–”
“Bad word!”
Sukuna throws a scowl in Yuji’s direction for interrupting over something so menial. It lacks any real heat though, and the little boy is well aware as their more familiar back-and-forth clicks into place.
Huffing, the brute continues. “I’m feeling bad,” he sneers in reply, the tension in his muscles releasing somewhat as the little boy triumphantly smiles. “And your argument with your brother got to me more than it should’ve. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I’m sorry, Yu.”
Shitty apology. Shitty excuse. But it’s a step forward, right? It’s what he tells himself as the little boy crawls into his lap, arms around his middle as he squeezes with all his tiny might. “It’s okay, Kuna.”
He hugs his little brother back, his gaze hollowed as he stares at the floor. Movement catches his eye, his sightline rising to meet Choso, still staring at him from across the room. Choso may not sport a pout or a scowl, but the brute can still make out that he’s upset if his unwavering stare is anything to go by.
Sukuna frowns. “Sorry to you too, Cho.”
The older Itadori– who hates when Yuji cries– finally averts his eyes, his guard let down. He takes a moment to reply, not as immediately forgiving as the youngest. “Thanks,” he murmurs, letting out a breath.
“Kuna?” Returning his attention to the pink-haired bundle of energy in his arms, he hums. “Can I have a cookie?”
An amused puff of air leaves Sukuna’s nose. “Yeah, alright. If you agree to be nicer to Cho. He gave you the character you wanted n’ everything, didn’t he?”
Yuji pouts, averting his eyes. “Yeah…”
“So what even happened?”
“I changed my mind…”
Sukuna snorts. “Brat.”
“Hey-uh!” Yuji tugs on Sukuna’s hoodie as he leads the way to the kitchen, beckoning Choso along with the promise of cookies for both of them.
As Choso obliges, Sukuna rustles his hair. “Don’t let Yuji boss you around. He ain’t even half your age.”
Swatting Sukuna’s hand away, Choso half-heartedly protests. “I just wanted to be a good bro–”
“Yes I am!” Yuji interrupts as he bounds between his brothers, insistently holding up six fingers. “I’m almost six!”
“Almost six is five,” the oldest dryly states, grateful that the atmosphere has fallen back to what he’s used to. “And don’t interrupt Cho.”
“Okayyyy.”
Opening a cabinet and pulling down a box of cookies purposefully kept out of reach of grubby hands, Sukuna works on opening the new box. Yuji is excitedly tugging on his sleeve with both hands, the sensation of the material dragging against his skin heightening the itch of withdrawal. It’s as though the discomfort has grown tenfold and it grates against his nerves. A muscle in his jaw ticks as thorns grip his lungs and cravings crawl up his throat.
He whips his head towards Yuji when the little boy tugs hard enough to choke Sukuna, lip curled as he nearly snarls at his brother again, only to catch himself. He sets the box down, harshly dragging his hands over his face as he takes a moment to breathe. He has to tune the little boy out briefly as he comes to his senses, but he shakes his head as he stands upright.
“You’re choking me,” he grumbles out as he finally manages to pull the inner bag of the box of cookies open and hand one down to the little boy.
“Sorry Kuna!” He apologizes, entirely unaware of the man’s inner turmoil as he reaches cheerily for the cookie. He turns to bound towards the table before pausing and holding his palm back up at the older man. “When I feel sick, cookies help me.”
Yuji’s offer could melt the coldest ice. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks, Yu.” With an encouraging nudge towards the table, Yuji nods in satisfaction and hops into his seat.
“He threw up last time he had more than two cookies,” Choso points out with a wrinkled nose as he reaches up for his own cookie when Sukuna offers the box, trusting the brunette to be more responsible.
“Why do you think I didn’t hand him the box?”
Choso smiles, a near laugh parting his lips as he reaches into the box. With the treat in-hand, he exchanges a glance with his older brother. Both aloof and quiet, they’ve gained something of a silent language over the years. Within the hidden dialogue is an understanding that Sukuna is trying.
It’s not perfect. It’s messy, and at his core he’s still a grumpy brute with a sharp tongue.
But he’s trying.
And that’s enough.
–
Excitement is electric in the air around you. Chatter brims the room from back to front; students, faculty, friends, and family alike.
You always anticipated being excited for graduation, but after the past year, it feels emotional too. The kind where you hold onto every moment, committing each speech to memory because it feels like a blessing bestowed upon you.
Though that would be discounting everything Sukuna has done for you. Twisting in your seat in an attempt to see over the crowd of graduates, you try to search the stands to see if he was able to make it, but you can scarcely see over the crowd.
Putting your focus into the ceremony, you fiddle with the loose gown draping down to your ankles. For as excited as you are, it’s hard not to be equally nervous. Some cruel part of your brain seems to insist that this is a dream, too farfetched to be true when everything was nearly stripped from you.
As the ceremony draws nearer to accepting your diplomas, a buzz heightens the energy of the room as you await the signal to move towards the stage. Your nerves are more frazzled than you care to admit as the word is given and you shuffle to the side of the room.
You scan the crowd that doesn’t don caps and robes, but you can’t make out either Shoko or Sukuna. Mr. and Mrs. Nanami should be among the crowd too, but there’s so many people that it makes anyone hard to spot.
Reasonably, you shouldn’t get your hopes up, either. The kids aren’t in school anymore and your crush works two jobs. You can’t expect his presence when he’s needed in so many places at once.
Sucking in a breath, you cast a glance up at the stage facing far too many people for comfort. Shrinking back behind the row of students, you do what you can to stay out of sight from the large crowd, trying just about every method you can to rid yourself of nerves. With each long, deep breath, you just try to remind yourself that you don’t have to speak. It’s nothing more than accepting your diploma, a quick photo, and you’re off.
You just didn’t expect the crowd to be this big.
Shuffling from left to right, you suck in a breath as the stage grows closer but it doesn’t quell the jitters rattling your lungs.
It’s barely a moment on-stage. Not even a minute. Not even thirty seconds. A handshake and a photo. Most people won’t even be paying attention, all you need to do is take a breath and smile for your photo.
The back of your neck remains warm. There’s a subtle tremble in your fingers in spite of your own mental pep-talk as you make your way up the stairs.
The room feels even larger from atop the stage. The graduating class of this year stretches to the ends of the hall, while risers for friends and family feel as though they reach the ceiling. As you near the front and accept your diploma with a nervous smile and trembling fingers, you make your way to the front of the stage for your photo.
Cheers break out from throughout the crowd, catching you off-guard as you’re able to spot Satoru, Suguru, Yu, Atsuya, and Toji cheering you on from one side of the graduating class, while Kento and Uraume both cheer from another. Beyond them, another small group cheers loudly for you too. Shoko sits alongside Kento’s parents, and beside them–
He made it.
A grin breaks out on your face, the photo snapping as it captures not a meek smile, but genuine glee at the overwhelming support of friends and family.
Your parents may not be present, but you can feel their pride from afar too. You already know tears are being shed as Shoko sends photos and videos.
After the second flash, you duck your head and slip across the stage, heart still pounding as you take your seat once more. In spite of the blood pumping in your ears, it doesn’t feel quite so harrowing with all the familiar faces cheering you on.
You cheer for each of your friends in turn, and as the ceremony comes to a close, you laugh along with the rest of the graduates as you toss your caps into the air. The hats all come tumbling down as the laughter and applause settles for the casual buzz of an excited room of new alumni.
The ticketed crowd files out to wait for their respective former students, while each graduate begins the search for the cap that you all paid for. You fall into step with Kento and Uraume first, embracing them each as you greet one another with congratulations. Even Kento seems jovial today, his usual serenity blooming into a wide grin as he releases you from a hug.
“So, what plans do we all have post-graduation?” Uraume queries as you all begin the search for your caps.
“I actually received an offer to interview for a position in the finance department of the school this morning,” Kento begins, his eyes brimming with the joy he doesn’t express. “My professor recommended me for the position.”
“No way, congrats Ken!” You pull him in for another hug. “I got onboarded full-time at the publishing house earlier this week,” you boast, unable to hide a grin.
Uraume tilts their head knowingly. “Sukuna mentioned as much. He seemed pretty thrilled.”
“Yeah?” You sheepishly reply as you set a cap aside, suddenly wishing you hadn’t written your name on it so that you could just take any unmarked one.
“I’m fairly sure he cheered louder for you than my parents did for me,” Kento chuckles, nudging your shoulder as your cheeks warm over the teasing.
You laugh, unable to deny his claims when you’re equally sure it’s true. Before you can get a word out, Satoru comes barreling into your group, followed shortly by Suguru, Atsuya, and Yu. Congratulations are exchanged once more, alongside hugs.
“You found your cap already?” Uraume’s brow raises as Atsuya returns with one already on. “Fuck no. I just grabbed the first one without a name I could find. I knew this would happen.”
“Smartass,” Toji snarks at his side as the rest of you continue your search in high spirits. Chatter is thrown left and right and slowly but surely you all begin finding your caps within the pile of navy.
Fixing yours atop your head, Kento nudges your arm. “My parents would love to say hi.” He motions back towards the waiting area, your heart palpitating at the thought that Sukuna is back there too, alongside Shoko. “They sent me several questions over ‘the pink-haired man ’,” he smirks, amused. “It sounds as though they put him through a quiz once he mentioned taking you on a date.”
“Oh god.” With a hand covering your lips, you let out something between a laugh and a groan. “Yeah, we can head out.” You turn back to the group, gathering Uraume’s attention. “Ken and I are going to meet with his parents, Sho, and Kuna. In case I don’t see you before then, will you be at Satoru’s on Saturday?”
Giving you another hug, they nod. “Definitely. Congratulations again, I’ll see you Saturday!”
Catching Satoru’s attention, he waves a hand over his head. “You better be at my party!”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” You call back as you head for the door.
“Bring your man!”
A nod and a laugh satiate the fratboy as you wave back, catching up to Kento to push through the doors.
The halls outside are a mess of navy and echoing cheer as relatives try to locate their graduates and vice versa. If you weren’t on cloud nine from the high of moving on to a new stage of life, you might find it overwhelming.
“Hey!” Shoko finds you first, pulling you and Kento into a huge hug. “I’m so proud of you both, oh my god,” she breathes as you all share a moment together.
“It’s a shame you couldn’t graduate with us,” Kento’s head tilts to face Shoko.
She sighs. “Can’t believe I’m the only one not graduating this year.”
“You would be with Suguru had he not taken extra courses,” Kento offers a thin-lipped smile. “We won’t be far though, this won’t change anything.”
“I know,” she sighs. “And I’ll hold you to that. I’m not losing either of you. Any of you, for that matter.”
“Never,” you agree.
“I can introduce you to Hiromi, if it’s any consolation,” the blonde offers beside you.
“Hiromi’s really nice, I think you’d like him.”
“Guess I’ll have to take you up on that, then.” Shoko smiles. “Oh!” She perks up suddenly, turning back towards the growing crowd as more students file out. Getting on her toes, she tries to look over the heads of the crowd to no avail. “Come with me.”
Threading through the sea of navy, she leads the way towards a back corner that allows for a bit more peace and a break from the crowd. Tucked within the open corner are Kento’s parents and none other than your crush, donning a black button-up and slacks and the red tie you gifted him. His brow is curled into a scowl as you’re certain he’s still being quizzed by the couple across from him.
As you break through the crowd, his gaze flickers to the movement, staying pinned on you as the attention of the couple shifts to their son. Sukuna glances to his side in an effort to make a good impression on Kento’s parents, but upon realizing they’ve already parted from the conversation, he lets his guard down and closes the distance to you in a few long strides.
“You made it!” You laugh as his arms envelop you, lifting your feet off the ground as he buries his face into your neck in what can only be described as a bear hug. You cling to his shoulders, hands sliding down to his pecks as he sets you down.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Warmth radiates from his gaze as he smiles down at you, genuine and proud.
He wasn’t present to see you during the presentation you were forced to give alone so many moons ago, but it’s a thought he’ll never let himself live down. No matter what it takes, he wants to be there– at your side or in the crowd– to support you during those moments where anxiety clutches your chest. He doesn’t want to let you down again.
“And look at you,” he adds, bending down to your height with a smirk. “So cute in your robes.”
“Thanks,” you murmur, tugging your lower lip between your teeth sheepishly. “Are your brothers alright right now? How’s Choso doing?” You inquire.
“He’s… actually at a friend’s place right now.” Relief floods his being as the tension in his shoulders automatically dissipates at the thought. “And Yu’s bein’ babysat.”
You can’t help a smile at the thought. “He’s come a long way.”
Your crush hums his agreement. “Which is why…” He takes a long breath, standing upright as he musters up courage. “I wanna take you out. Tomorrow night, if you’re free. For a real date.”
“Our last one was fake?” You tease knowingly.
He glowers down at you, playfully trying to pull your cap over your eyes as you duck out of the way, snickering. “I’d love to, Kuna.” You beam up at him, earning a smirk. “Oh, and…” You begin, a slant to your eyebrows as you stare up at him with admiration. “Thank you for the scholarship thing.”
Lowering down to your level again, his smirk shifts to something more earnest as he brandishes his signature grimace. His palm brushes up the column of your neck, thumb settling along your jaw. “Quit thankin’ me.” His lips capture yours briefly. When he pulls back, he squeezes your cheeks until your lips form a kissy face. “We went over this.”
“I know, but–” Your thoughts are cut short when Kento’s parents call your name, beckoning you both over.
“I need to get a photo of you and Ken together,” his mother insists.
With a smirk, Sukuna steps aside as you’re showered in the closest thing to parental love that you can get right now. Kento has to step in with a chuckle in order to get his mother to stop fixing his hair, only to earn the kind of smile a proud parent gives their child who’s officially moving into the next stage of life. You’re grateful that their pride extends to you, even if it means she insists on straightening your gown and cap.
After snapping a photo of you and Kento that mirrors one you took on your first day of school years ago, she beckons to Shoko. Your best friend smiles as she slings her arms around her you both, but Mrs. Nanami is still insistently watching the spot where Shoko just came from. Sukuna’s smirk morphs to shock as he’s beckoned in as well, at the insistence of clearly being dear to you.
He averts his gaze in an effort to keep you all from noticing the rose that dusts his skin, but he doesn’t deny the request. Sidling up behind you, he rests one hand on your waist, the other briefly hovering in the direction of your friends before settling over Shoko on Kento’s shoulder.
“Alright, smile!” The flash goes off, much to all of your dismay as a photo is taken that immortalizes Sukuna’s blush. “All of you smile,” his mother insists, still holding up the phone.
You crane your neck to get a look at Sukuna, who is smiling, albeit a very subtle one.
“Hm? I’m smiling,” he dryly insists, though it brings on a scowl.
“Don’t be a grump,” Shoko insists, laughter coming over the group as Sukuna huffs.
Rather than heat, the huff has a jovial quality like he’s trying not to join in on your laughter. “I’m smiling, I’m smiling,” he insists, the honest expression captured alongside his blush for eternity.
“That one’s perfect,” Kento’s mother grins at her phone. You reconvene with her, letting her fawn over how proud she is of you and her son, showering you both in hugs. Mr. Nanami, the much more aloof of the two hugs you both as well, quiet pride shining behind auburn eyes.
Although it’s obvious she would keep you longer if she could, his mother eventually shoos the four of you away, insisting you make the most of the day. Shoko practically begs for Korean Barbeque as you reconvene with the rest of your friends ahead of Satoru’s party after all.
The buzz of the day keeps you all in high spirits around the long table as horror stories from your years in school together are exchanged. More than anything though, it makes you grin from ear to ear to see Sukuna at your side throughout the whole thing. Even when he starts going at it with Toji, fighting over everything and nothing at all, there’s a spark behind his eyes beginning to rekindle the fire within him.
–
“You sure this thing won’t crap out on me?” Sukuna skeptically stares at the dashboard of Toji’s car. The football player’s hand rests atop the car as he leans in to take a look at the amount of lights on the dashboard that flicker on upon turning the ignition.
“Your auto shop fuckin’ fixed it.”
“I don’t work there anymore,” Sukuna unhelpfully points out.
“Still, no faith in y’r old co-workers?” Toji snorts.
With a sigh, Sukuna pushes a hand back through his hair. “They don’t normally leave three fuckin’ warning lights on.”
“It’ll be fine. The old man who owns the place told me it’s fuckin’ faulty ‘r some shit,” Toji shrugs nonchalantly. “Told me to code check it every so often.”
“Do you?”
“The fuck do I know ‘bout code checking?”
With a forlorn sigh, Sukuna surrenders and opts to take Toji’s approach. Ignore the problem. “Check the fucking code when I get back,” he mutters under his breath, going ignored by his best friend. “Thanks for lending me the car.”
“I would say no problem but you’re bein’ a fuckin’ prick so bring me back an energy drink or some shit on your way back,” he sneers in reply, though there’s a shit-eating grin on his face when Sukuna fixes him with a glare.
It morphs quickly into a smirk as Sukuna rolls his eyes. “Maybe.”
Satisfied with that response, Toji claps him on the shoulder. “Go treat your girl.”
“Mm. Text me if you need a hand with the kids.”
“Nah, we’ll be good.” Toji casts a glance back at his building where Yuji had been determined to make the ultimate sleepover blanket fort mere minutes ago. “Kids’ll have me busy all night, ‘m sure.” Standing upright, he pats the hood of the car and backs away towards the door. “Don’t keep her waitin’!”
With a smirk, Sukuna pulls the car out of the parking lot. His nerves are far less prominent for your second date, though his palms still sweat against the leather of the steering wheel. For as confident of a man as he is, you break down every wall until he finds himself with sweaty palms and feelings of inadequacy. You also somehow manage to build him back up with your effortless ability to make him feel human and wanted, though.
His grip on the steering wheel tightens as he nears your complex, pushing away the thorns prodding his mind. Swallowing down his nerves, he sends you a message to let you know he’s out front, getting out in his full suit and tie get-up. He’s been wearing it a lot around you lately, opting to put on a nice watch from his father, while his chains and rings adorn his collar and fingers.
It feels a little less formal and a little more him.
Despite giving you a heads’ up to dress fancy, his heart batters against its cage as you emerge from the building. You’ve done your hair in a style he’s never seen on you, while jewelry and a clutch serve as accents to the floor-length dress with a deep ‘V’ neckline that hugs your curves beautifully.
He swallows hard, the only action that keeps his jaw from dropping to the ground.
How is it that his confidence can slip away at the drop of a dime when it comes to you?
You command a room so effortlessly and you don’t even know it.
As he steps towards you, another realization crosses his mind that has his heart hammering at the bones that keep it in place.
You match. And if he knows anything about you, it’s not an accident, either. You deliberately chose a dress in the same shade as his tie. Somehow the action manages to be painfully cheesy, startlingly sweet, and undeniably hot all wrapped up in one crimson bow.
Or– tie, he supposes.
The thought has him tugging at it, straightening the fabric as he lets out a breath to expel the nerves creeping up within his chest. Before he can tell you how jaw-droppingly gorgeous you are, you’re already sheepishly rambling, growing nervous over his unwavering saucer-wide gaze.
“Sorry, is it too much? I can change or–”
“No,” Sukuna interrupts, too quickly. He clears his throat, gaze rising from the dress he hopes to take his time sliding you out of later. His crimson gaze settles on your saccharine expression. “No, you look gorgeous like this. I mean– you always do, but–” He cuts himself off as you giggle, that telltale divot forming between his brows as he fixes you with his stare.
“Thank you, Kuna,” you murmur, peering up at him from beneath your lashes.
Your reaction settles a modicum of his nerves, regaining some confidence as he slides his palms down the sides of your torso, settling them on your waist. “You matchin’ with me on purpose, princess?”
Bashfully, you avert your gaze, confirming his suspicions. His chest rumbles in amusement and satisfaction that everyone will know you’re out together.
“C’mon, let me treat you to dinner.” With a quick peck of your lips, he wastes no time leading you to your (not so) fancy ride for the night, a rusting Honda Civic that you recognize as Toji’s.
You both welcome the conversation that settles the joint air of nervousness on the way to the restaurant as you excitedly tell Sukuna the decorations that you and Kento settled on getting (courtesy of Satoru’s fancy card) for the graduation party. Truth be told, Sukuna doesn’t see a need for any sort of decorations for a frat party, but he’s not about to burst your bubble when you’re happily chatting with him.
He pulls into a parking lot in a familiar neighborhood, not terribly far from his apartment.
“Wait there,” Sukuna gruffs as he rounds the car to open your door. He offers his hand, pulling you into his side with a little smirk as your hip collides with the side of his thigh. Your sheepish but eager laughter does numbers for his ego as he gets to walk you towards the restaurant, a hand splayed over your hip.
Your destination isn’t in the lot where you parked, the walk only a few blocks away. It’s a welcome stretch of excited chatter under overcast late afternoon skies as you’re pulled towards a building covered with windows with a sleek black canopy over the door. You immediately recognize the restaurant, though you’ve never been able to try it in spite of its stellar reviews. Phenomenal or not, its price tag has never been something you could afford.
With a wide-eyed glance, you purse your lips. You’re not about to question Sukuna’s decisions, but because you’ve seen the menu before, you know the prices. You also know this isn’t your date’s scene, nor is it really yours. You can appreciate a fancy dinner, but this is outside of even your repertoire.
The interior is gorgeous, dark mahogany accents standing out in the lowered lights of the open entrance. A large diamond chandelier hangs from the center of the dining hall that opens to the host’s right, casting soft glimmers of gold across the black walls.
As you take in your surroundings in awe, you’re led to a table in a back corner, the dim lighting moody and romantic, while a candle flickers atop a silken white tablecloth. The atmosphere is gorgeous, it positively seeps adoration, in spite of the way Sukuna shuffles in his seat across from you after pushing in your chair.
“This is gorgeous, Kuna,” you compliment, bright-eyed and cheery.
“Yeah?” His gaze searches yours deeply, a glimmer of something you can’t place held within the intensity of his irises.
It’s in that moment that you can really make out how uncertain he is. His gaze shifts left and right, his thoughts written across his face as obvious as the ink along his jaw. He doesn’t feel adequate. You’ve known for a long time those thoughts are there and you’ve done your best to dispel them and reassure him. But in an environment like this? One he’s never even considered being able to afford, let alone walking through the doors? Those thoughts are emboldened.
There’s soup on the menu worth more than his whole suit.
But you still do what you can to reassure him. “Yeah,” you grin, swallowing your own doubts. “You really went all out.”
The tension in his jaw releases just an ounce as he hums. “Wanted to uh– show my appreciation.”
“I’m definitely feeling appreciated,” you beam.
As he leans forward, his expression softens, slowly adjusting to the environment just as your waiter makes their way over. He introduces himself, before offering a bottle of wine. He goes over the specials for the night, politely pointing them out on the menu for you. The price is hard to ignore.
Casting a glance up at Sukuna, you can just barely make out the deepening grimace on his face as he looks over the same prices. Still, he juts his chin towards you. “Your call, princess.”
Your lips part, but you’re at a loss as uncertainty pools in your stomach. You can’t order wine that’s more expensive than your rent. You don’t have it in you. The same goes for the main courses that are smaller than your fist but cost a small fortune. Decidedly turning towards the waiter, you smile politely. “Can you give me one more moment, please?”
The waiter excuses himself with a nod.
Shutting your menu on the table before you, a knit forms between your brows in spite of your smile. “You know, I never would have guessed how much of a sweetheart you are under all that grumpiness.”
Grumpiness is right when he fixes you with a deadpan frown.
Still, you giggle as you continue, masking your nerves. “This is beyond sweet of you. Like, seriously, this place is gorgeous.”
Worrying your lower lip between your teeth, you try to gauge Sukuna’s thoughts, but it’s impossible behind those fiery crimson irises. Reaching for his hand over the table, you settle a modicum of your nerves when his grip closes around you. You can only hope he doesn’t take this the wrong way.
“I really love the thought behind this, but this wine won’t taste any different to me than the wine we had at Itadori Restaurant.”
His lip twitches up at the mention of your previous date.
Grateful for the response, however minute, you continue. “And I’m sure the food is great, but I like mac and cheese too, you know?” His tension releases as you tilt your head sweetly. “I just wanna spend time with you. I really appreciate the thought, but… This is a lot of money. We don’t need to do all of this–” you motion to your surroundings with your free hand, settling it atop the menu, “if you don’t want to. Is this what you want, Kuna?”
His jaw tightens. “I just wanna make you happy,” he stubbornly replies.
“I know,” you crack a smile, “and I am. But that’s not what I asked.”
“Then, no,” he admits begrudgingly. “It…” sliding into comfort with you once again, he cracks a smirk. “Looks like they wash the walls with bleach every night.”
You grin. “It does, doesn’t it?” Giving his hand an experimental tug in the direction of the door, you lean in. “Do you wanna head out?”
His tongue runs over his lower lip. “You sure?”
“Positive,” you affirm with a nod. “The night’s young, we can find another restaurant.”
Sukuna gets to his feet, your hand still firmly clutched within his. He weaves between tables, excusing the both of you to the host with a meager apology. Leading you back out into the early evening air beneath the awning of the restaurant, he curses under his breath at the sight that meets him.
Summer showers have caught up with you, the sun peeking through dark clouds as droplets hit the ground with vigor. It shows no signs of letting up in spite of the golden rays fighting for dominance.
“Fuck,” he huffs, turning to face the direction the car is parked, several blocks away. You don’t share the dejection in the creases of his frown, squeezing his hand as you drag him out from under the awning. “Princess, your dress–” he tries to protest.
He’s met with a bubbly grin in spite of everything going wrong already, and he doesn’t know what to make of that. “My dress’ll dry, come on!”
The world is a blur as hair sticks to his forehead and neck, the white of his collared shirt showing a peek at his chest tattoos with every fresh droplet. He can’t make out whether the slick of his palms is sweat from his nerves or the rain seeping between your clasped hands. Your dress clings to your every curve beautifully still. Even with makeup smudged around your eyes, you look radiant under the sparse sunlight.
As your heels trip you up about halfway to the car, Sukuna tugs your hand to the side, leading you into the first open door before he can consider where you even are. Momentarily safe from the summer storm, he throws his head back, pushing hair off his forehead. Giving you a once over to make sure you didn’t break your ankle in the process of being pulled in here, he lets out a relieved sigh, before taking in his surroundings.
“No shit,” he breathes, some sort of irony to be found in your surroundings. Black and white tiling covers the floor beneath your feet. A bar stretches the length of the wall across from you, equally if not more worn than when you were last here, and red leather booths line the wall closest to you, stretching all the way to a jukebox in the corner. The lights from the old machine gleam over the scratched flooring in shattered neons, accentuating the classic diner’s appeal.
Strip Joint. The very reason this area was so familiar when you were making your way to the restaurant.
“Oh, come grab a seat, dears,” a familiar drawl catches your attention. Spinning to face the voice, you smile kindly at the older woman who served you free tea upon seeing your distress with Uraume, and served you and Sukuna so many moons ago; drunk, a little high, and in need of some ice cream. “Don’t worry about the mess, nothing a mop won’t fix.”
“Oh no, we’re just–” Sukuna cuts himself off with a glance down at you when your hand rests atop his chest. You tilt your head sweetly, motioning to the warm, and dry interior of a little diner that encapsulates a moment so heartwarming to the bond you share.
“Why don’t we have dinner here?”
Sukuna’s gaze flits down to your dress– soaked– but gorgeous nonetheless. “We’re overdressed.”
“So?”
He glances back up at the kind older woman, a rag in one hand as she runs lemon-scented soap over worn oak with a familiar knowing gleam in her eye. Then, he stares back at you, patient as always, with that little smile he doesn’t know how to say no to. He reaches up to brush a strand of wet hair from your temple, a breath leaving his nose as he nods.
“Thanks,” he murmurs to her with a small wave, ridding himself of the heaviness of his soaked suit jacket as he leads the way to the same booth where he sat across from you many moons ago. He drops his jacket down on the leather seat, the sound of droplets slipping to the floor unavoidable as you both slide across the cherry-red material.
The waitress, who you’re willing to bet at this point is the owner, makes her way around the counter with two empty mugs, settling them before each of you. “Can I get the two of you dears something warm?”
The air is brisk on your skin as you nod. “I’d love some tea, please.”
“Black coffee, please,” Sukuna gruffs across from you, his tattoos emboldened under the thin white shirt sticking to bulky muscle. He has a concentrated scowl on his face as he smooths the water out from the tie you gifted him. There’s a layer of frustration baked into the crease of his brow that you’ve learned to read over the past several months all-too-well.
Once the waitress nods and returns to the bar along the back, the coffee machine humming to life in the background, you grab your date’s attention with a nudge to his foot. “What’s on your mind, Kuna?”
He pauses his motions, briefly examining your expression before sighing. His forearms settle along the edge of the table as he leans forward, a stray droplet dripping from his hair down to his chin. “‘M sorry. I thought things would go well this time, n’ the food menu was priced–” he hesitates, because you both know it wasn’t priced well. “It was priced okay,” he settles on the word sourly. “You’re worth the price, I just–” he struggles with words, his nose wrinkling as he grows frustrated with himself.
Your lips press into a tight-lipped sympathetic smile. You regard him with warmth at the kindness behind the gesture. He seems to have these ideas in his mind of how everything should go, convincing himself of what the right way to do things is, as though everything about your connection hasn’t been chaotic from the get-go. As though you don’t embrace the chaos with him, hand-in-hand.
Your teeth sink softly into your lower lip as you slip from your seat, moving around the table to settle into the booth beside him. His eyes convey mild surprise, but they’re still stormy as he shuffles over to give you space to sit. The only break in the storm comes in the form of him gently reaching up to wipe smeared makeup from beneath your eyes.
“Thanks,” you breathe. “And stop beating yourself up over this,” you nudge his shoulder with your own, his warmth welcome in the air conditioned diner. “I told you, I like you for you. You’re still my best friend, you know that, right? I like that we can just talk and hang out and there’s no real expectations. I like the chaos and,” you wave a hand towards the soaked disaster you both are, “messiness.”
Coming around to your words, he nods slowly, the thorns pricking at his mind beginning to unfurl.
“I mean, come on,” you nudge him again. “We’re not fancy people. It’s really sweet of you to wanna bring me somewhere like that, but–” you shrug. “That’s not us.”
Nearly free from the grip of inadequacy, he lets out a long sigh, when his deepest fear pours from his lips before he can pluck the thorns from his mind. “No, but– you deserve the best.”
“Kuna, sweetheart,” you reach up to frame his face with your palms, your heart leaping within your chest at the way he melts as you use a pet name for him. The tension in his shoulders releases, the storm within crimson eyes dissipating as he allows himself to settle within your hold. His cheeks are mostly dry now aside from a stray droplet or two from unruly salmon strands, his skin warm beneath your palms as his face flushes under your attention.
As he allows himself to indulge in the moment, you brush your thumbs along his cheek bones, trying to find the right way to convey your thoughts.
“It means a lot that you feel like I deserve all that,” you tilt your head kindly, “but you know what some of my favorite moments with you have been?” You don’t wait for his reply. “Ice cream at midnight in the middle of a diner that sounds like a strip club. Spilling ramen all over myself and having to wear your jacket because my top was see-through. Watching you point out the planets while we look at the stars on your balcony.”
Tenderness swarms his chest, the cool air no longer touching his damp skin as he’s warmed from the inside out by your words and reassurance. “Me on my knees in the snow?”
His lop-sided grin earns a laugh from you, your palms sliding down to his chest. “God, no. That was too much,” you brush him off, your cheeks warming at the thought. You continue as his chest rumbles beneath your touch. “That, back there,” you point over your shoulder in the wrong direction, although he gets the point. “That sort of thing doesn’t last. It’s all fake, it’s just a bunch of rich people trying to impress one another and then going home and not talking to one another.”
A breath leaves his nose, amused. Finally managing to shed the thorns that had lodged themselves within his mind, he nods. “Guess so, huh?”
“And honestly, nothing would make me happier than knowing you have that money in your pocket for something for your brothers. Or yourself.” Your fingers curl into the damp fabric beneath them. “I, um– I hope I didn’t come off as rude or anything, and I know this is something that you spent a lot of time on, but I promise I’m not trying to change you or–”
“Princess.” Sukuna’s hand rests over yours. “You’re fine. I don’t think there’s a rude bone in your body and you’re right. I was tryin’ too hard to be something I’m not.”
So focused on your date that you forget about your order, you jump when the waitress returns with two mugs atop two small plates, and a small metallic teapot. A selection of teabags are laid out beside your mug as options for you to choose.
“Sorry dear, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she apologizes, her gaze both kind and knowing as she regards you both, now on the same side of the booth. “Are you ready to order food?”
“That’s alright,” you brush her off. “We need a few minutes, sorry!”
“Not a worry at all, I’ll be back in a bit.” Something about the way she carries herself has you wondering if she remembers you both, though you suppose Sukuna’s relatively recognizable. The pink hair and tattoos certainly make him stand out in a crowd.
“Scaredy cat,” Sukuna snorts under his breath. You shove your shoulder into his bicep playfully, grinning as he laughs and uses the action as an excuse to pull you into him. His warmth is beyond welcome, serving as a reminder to make yourself some tea.
As you pour the boiled water over your teabag of choice, you eye Sukuna from your peripheral. “What has you so caught up on details, anyway?” You query, taking notice of how particular he’s been over your dates and how much it’s gotten to him when everything goes awry.
He frowns, contemplative in the way he rolls his shoulders back as though bracing himself. He wants to admit to the sensation that he’ll never be enough, but there’s a serpent, bitter and venomous, wrapped tightly around his throat. It constricts his lungs and clamps its fangs down in an effort to choke the admission like some sort of cruel self-sabotage.
You watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard, spitting the words out through the cracks. “I can’t get it out of my head.” His body begs for water, the expanse of a desert held within the tightness of his jaw. His gaze traverses the table, settling for coffee that doesn’t quench the sudden dryness.
Your head tilts as you watch his strained reaction. “Can’t get what out of your head?”
“I put you through so much shit this year,” he croaks, tension present in his gravelly voice. “I don’t deserve to be here with you, when–”
“Sukuna,” it’s your turn to swiftly cut him off before the thoughts can spiral any further. “Don’t say that.” You pause, searching his expression, though the storm has returned. His expression is clouded, walls that match the weather outside rising as he admits to something that’s clearly been getting to him. “I know a lot happened this year, but–”
“Don’t downplay what I did,” he grunts, raw. There’s an aching chill that spreads through his body as he prevents you from brushing off his actions.
Your lips purse as you slowly nod. “I won’t.” It’s a near-whisper, the saddened look in your eyes at his dejection worsening the ache in his chest. “But people change, you know. They grow. And I know that you know you’ve grown.” You poke a finger into his chest, garnering his attention as he sucks in a breath, denial settled on the tip of his tongue.
“What if it’s not enough?”
“Then we talk things through. We figure it out.” You shrug like it’s nothing, just another facet of life, because it is. “We’re a team, Kuna. Don’t make decisions about what’s enough when it comes to us without me.”
His shoulders fall as your words hit like a moving train. They wipe clean through him, but more importantly, they take a modicum of the doubt too. Poison still lingers, but your words are burned into his mind, serving as a reminder not to let his thoughts get to him.
The chilling ache of the evening dissipates, warmed by your sincerity. It pumps through his veins and in spite of his soaking clothing, the cold doesn’t touch him. Still not a man of many words, he simply pulls you close, burying his face into your damp strands. No words are exchanged, but he lets you know he hears you.
“Stop beating yourself up. Please.”
His chest rises and falls, his heart rate steady, though you note that it seems faster than usual. “Okay,” he yields, kissing the crown of your head. Another huff leaves his form as if dispelling the last of his uncertainty, before he pulls back to open the menu.
You follow suit, looking over options. “What are you thinking of getting?” You query.
Sukuna doesn’t look up from his menu, though the corner of his lip twitches. “Chicken.”
With a roll of your eyes, you give him a playful shove. “You’re such a smartass, you literally said that last time.”
With a lopsided grin, he lowers his menu, tilting his head in your direction. “Oh yeah, well what are you having then, princess?”
Pursing your lips, you cast a glance towards the menu. Your voice is small as you concede defeat. “Chicken, probably…”
He snorts with a light flick to your forehead as you fall into familiarity with him, only this time you have no doubts of where you stand. As you attempt to flick him back, he catches your wrists and brings them down to your lap, gentle but firm so as to not cause you any harm.
The waitress returns with an amused simper. “Have you decided what you’d like?”
“The original three-piece meal, please,” you order, glancing over at Sukuna with a subtle tug of your wrists in hopes that he isn’t paying attention, to no avail. He barely even budges, ignoring your pout as he orders.
“Extra hot five-piece meal, please.” Using his free hand, he shuts both menus and slides them towards the waitress.
He bears a smirk as she makes her way to the kitchen. The sidelong gaze he shoots at you is as warm as it is shit-eating. “Brat,” he murmurs, low and teasing.
Protest lies among your tastebuds, but Sukuna swallows it with his lips, only letting go of your wrists when you give in to him. He pulls back slowly, a victorious smirk still plastered to his lips.
Sitting upright, he sighs, though there’s an air of satisfaction to it. As though he’s finally let go of every thought tying him to uncertainty, finally at ease not just in life but with himself. You admire him quietly. The curve of his jaw, the strong angle of his nose, the mild flutter of his lashes as his gaze stares through whatever’s ahead of him. What strikes you the most about your date at this moment though, is that the crease in his brow has softened, and the circles beneath his eyes aren’t quite as dark as usual. There’s a peaceful appearance to the man that bears a near-permanent scowl.
Even without a smile, even with lidded eyes that still bear a tired expression, he seems happy. You don’t interrupt whatever goes through his mind, enjoying the moment’s peace.
That is– until he shuffles and he’s reminded that his shoes are two small ponds and the scowl returns to his face.
With a giggle, you follow his gaze down to his shoes. “Your socks must be soaked.”
“They are,” he gruffly agrees.
You poke your heels out from the base of the dress plastered to your figure. “Guess I made the right choice.”
“You almost fell flat on your ass while we were out in the rain,” he points out with a raised brow.
You part your lips to protest, but you can’t conjure any meaningful arguments in your favor when the entire reason you ended up in here was the near-wipeout. “That wasn’t the heels’ fault,” you weakly utter. “I’m just clumsy.”
Sukuna’s large palm rubs up and down your waist in teasing comfort. “At that point, just blame the heels, princess,” he murmurs into your ear. “They don’t look comfortable, anyway.”
“They’re not,” you shrug. It’s something that comes so naturally to you that you barely even think about it until your toes are rubbed raw and the balls of your feet ache. “But they’re cute.” Your gaze lights up as you launch into an explanation where you recall a time that Shoko once begged Kento to switch shoes during a fancy dinner party that her parents had begged the three of you to attend, only to hand Shoko a dress and a pair of heels that didn’t suit her fancy.
“There’s no way that guy put on heels,” Sukuna scoffs, met with your giggle of agreement.
“No, but he did wear socks for the rest of the night and carry the heels around. You know the worst part though?”
Sukuna doesn’t give you much more than a questioning hum in a reply when his gaze is pulled towards the waitress making her way over with each of your meals. You thank her in turn and begin making work of your meal.
Swallowing your first bite of food, you continue your story. “Her parents had a backup outfit in case she hadn’t liked the first one, and it still had heels. She had to buy Ken a new pair of shoes because they took his shoes and she never found them.”
“If there’s an opposite of karma, it’s that,” Sukuna snorts between bites. You chuckle in agreement as he recounts a story from before Yuji was born– finding a receipt for a new pair of Kaori’s shoes, only to return them and swap them for one size too small, just to piss her off. You laugh in tandem at the mere concept, grinning from ear-to-ear as Sukuna opens up about a time far simpler.
You lean into him, fries in one hand as you laugh into his shoulder at childhood stories. He doesn’t hold back, joining in on your glee as his form vibrates in unceremonious chortles, his cheeks faintly flushed. You can’t say whether that’s from the heat of the chicken he hasn’t had the opportunity to finish as you eagerly pull stories from him, the ardor of happy memories, or the warmth of being wrapped up in a date that encapsulates you both perfectly.
As his chuckles die down, something shifts within his gaze, wistful as it is reminiscent. “Y’know, my dad never got mad at Toj’ or I. Not really, anyway. But man, when I took his car right after I got my license when we were sixteen–” he shakes his head, a long exhale leaving his nose. “The old man was so pissed.”
“Why’d you take it?” Your head tilts quizzically as you regard him, your plate of food done as you don’t dare interrupt Sukuna’s stories. Your voice is soft, grateful to hear about his father. You can’t recall a time where your date has so openly talked about Jin outside of tear-filled moments or bitter recollections brought to life by the trial.
He scoffs, shrugging dramatically. “Dunno. Guess I thought it’d make me look cool to pick up Toji n’ a couple of friends for a movie.” He winces at the mere thought. “Y’know that ‘I’m not mad, I’m disappointed’ thing that parents do? I got that big time. Toji, too. The poor guy didn’t even know my dad said no to taking the car.”
“That’s way worse than any kind of punishment,” your nose wrinkles at the thought of your parents’ version of that. The look you would get.
“Y’know what the worst part was?”
You shake your head, leaning in.
“Got my license on my birthday, n’ my dad told me I’d need to hang in there for a gift. I told him not to worry about it, I knew we didn’t have a ton of cash and didn’t really care.” He shrugs the thought off. “The day I asked to borrow the car was payday for him, which is why he asked me to wait, I guess.”
“No,” you gasp as the dots connect in your mind.
“Yeah,” he groans, dragging his free hand down his face. He runs it back through pink locks with a sigh. “He got me a fuckin’ car and him and Kaori needed the one I took to go pick it up.”
Both of you sport twisted expressions of horror at the mere thought. “So, what happened?”
“Honestly? He could’ve been way more pissed. Should’ve been.” He shakes his head, his gaze softening as he stares down at the chicken, now lukewarm, still remaining on his plate. “Might’ve been the nicest any parent has ever been grounding their kid,” he snorts at the thought. “But uh– yeah, he grounded me. Got my car officially a month later.”
“He sounds like he was a great dad.”
“Yeah,” Sukuna murmurs, voice barely more than a gravelly whisper. “He was.”
With a small smile, you give the brute a moment as something within his expression twists, from recollection to a scowl, before he seems to come to a conclusion about something. Whatever it is, he blinks it away, finally bringing more of his meal to his lips as he moves on.
“How was your chicken?” He asks between bites.
“Great,” you grin. “Yours?”
He nods his approval, mouth full. He finishes a bite before motioning to the chicken. “Want a bite?”
“Didn’t you get the super spicy one?”
“Mhm.”
You idly chew on your lip in consideration.
“You a little bit of a wimp, angel?” He teases, nudging your thigh with his.
“No,” you bite back, pausing long enough for Sukuna to grin. “That just smells spicy.”
“Try it,” he shifts his plate an inch towards you, his gaze flickering up to the kind older woman across the restaurant helping someone who walked in recently. “I’ll get you some water, just in case.”
With a glass of water on the way, you take a bite of chicken from Sukuna’s plate. It’s flavorful beyond belief, and for a moment, you really enjoy it.
Until the pain hits.
Your face contorts as you suck in a breath of air, trying to play it cool. Much to your disdain, Sukuna is grinning knowingly beside you. His head tilts down into your line of vision. “So?”
Smartass. “It’s great,” you murmur between breaths in an effort to cool your mouth. It’s not a lie either, it is great, even if it’s as hot as the fiery depths of hell.
“Yeah?” He teases, thanking the amused waitress as she sets water down before you. He moves it towards you, which you don’t hesitate to down. It helps in the moment, but the heat returns mere seconds later.
“How do you even eat that?”
Sukuna snickers at your side. “High tolerance,” he shrugs like it’s nothing. “When the kids aren’t around, I usually get spicier food.”
Sucking in a breath after a sip of water, you crane your neck towards him. “Why not just have it around them?”
“You seen Yuji’s grubby hands? That kid eats off my plate more than his own.”
“Something tells me you know this from experience,” you laugh over the rim of the glass in your hand.
He sighs, letting his head fall back as he stares at the ceiling, recalling the incident. “We’d just run out of milk,” he mutters. “The brat was a mess. I had to order a fuckin’ carton online.”
You stifle laughter, though you’re empathetic both to Sukuna’s situation and in this particular moment, Yuji’s too. With another sip of water, you peer over the rim at the rippling liquid. “You’re a good brother, you know.”
The words hang in the air, stagnant but not stifling. His gaze is locked to the glass in your hands, though he stares straight through it, deep in consideration. After a long moment, he finally reaches for your statement with a sigh. “‘M tryin’.” He sits upright, casting a glance out the window as the sound of children laughing seems to taunt him. “Things are gettin’ easier with Cho,” he admits, “but Yuji…” he shakes his head.
Perplexed, you tilt your head. “Yuji?” They have their disagreements, sure, but everything always seemed more strained with Choso.
His jaw hangs ajar for a moment as he contemplates his reply. “Sometimes I dunno what to do with the kid. I always told him I wasn’t his dad, but–”
Right, he told you Yuji called him dad. Cried and screamed for Sukuna, his dad, as Kaori locked him in a car and drove away. “It’s not easy,” you agree. “You’re both, in a way. And sometimes you have to pick sides, I guess.”
“Hard to pick sides when I’m on both of ‘em,” he scoffs.
“Yeah,” you shrug, “but I think you know in the moment what you need to be for him better than you think.”
He blinks down at his lap. “Just hope I’m doing right by them.”
“You are,” you assure him. “Just remember that you do still get to be their brother, too,” you offer the thought. “Both of them. Not just Choso. You can still play Nerf with them,” you shrug with a smile.
He snorts. “Yuji lost all o’ the darts for those things.”
“All of them?” You gape.
“Mhm.”
“How?”
Your date shrugs, taking a sip of coffee. “They’re probably under his bed or some shit.”
“Still,” you murmur. “Impressive.”
“That’s Yuji for you.”
“You know,” you smirk, “I bet you were pretty similar when you were his age.”
Sukuna raises a brow, his lips quirking up. He sets his mug down before him. “Can’t say I remember much from his age,” he starts, “but Toj’ n’ I used to spend so much time around my dad while he was watching history shows that we would do dramatic re-enactments of the Ides of March with action figures. My dad was horrified when he found out.” He snorts at the thought, staring fondly at nothing in particular. “Apparently it was ‘too morbid’ for eight-year-olds.”
“He has a point,” you agree, but you’re still giggling cheerily at the thought of Sukuna’s father, mortified as he watches his child reenact the famous murder of Julius Caesar.
“It gave us character,” Sukuna grins.
“It explains a lot, honestly.”
Still, your date is happily laughing at your side as he reminisces on a time long past, launching into another story of how they horrified his father. There’s a little dimple in his cheek as he grins that you’ve never had the chance to notice with all his scowls and aloof stares. It suits him, and between that and the pale flush to his cheeks, you hope to see it more often in the future.
“So, y’know,” he finishes with a simpering shrug. “I was a pretty good kid.” He gives you a nudge. “What about you, princess? You always such a sweetheart?”
You breathe out a laugh. “I don’t know about that, I was still a kid,” you point out. “But until Kento moved in beside us, my parents always said I was a handful.”
Sukuna hums. “Coulda fooled me that his mom wasn’t yours.”
“Oh yeah?”
He shifts to lean on the table, his hand sliding down to the top of your thigh. He idly squeezes at the plush of your leg with no regard for how odd the material feels over wet skin. “Shoko called me your hot date,” he snorts.
“Aaaand she had a hundred questions for you?”
He grunts in reply, mild irritation woven within the lines of his expression.
The sound of your giggle causes him to lean against the table, his elbow folded beneath his cheek. “And now you know why I wasn’t a handful after she moved in,” you laugh.
“It explained a fuckin’ lot about Kento.”
“He’s somehow a perfect blend between his parents,” you agree. “But yeah, their place was a second home to me. I guess I calmed down after that. Ken and I used to go to swimming lessons and book clubs and summer camps together.”
“Book club? Cute.”
Bashfully glancing down at his hand on your thigh, you smile to yourself.
“So that’s how you decided you wanted to work in publishing,” he concludes.
“Mhmm!” You hum your confirmation. “I just wanted to read more,” you chuckle at the thought.
“And look at you now.”
When you crane your head up to Sukuna, his crimson gaze is lidded. Honeyed in the way he only ever gets towards you. You never let yourself believe it was anything more than friendship, and how foolish was that? To think that you’d ever equated his obvious infatuation for anything less than that– anything less than profound adoration– is a thought to behold.
In an effort to divert his heated affection and keep warmth from crawling up your neck to the tips of your ears, you flip the subject back on him. “Um– you know, I still feel bad that you’re giving up two years of your life for that– for me.”
He blinks, unmoving as his gaze briefly flickers to the wall in thought. “Don’t. I’m not giving anything up.” His voice is low, firm, as he reassures you.
“Don’t you have– like– dreams, or anything, though?”
“‘Course I do.” His hand squeezes your thigh gently. “Think mine are just a little different from what you’re thinking of.”
Your line of sight flickers between either of his eyes, pools of sanguine clearer than they’ve ever been as he gives you his full attention. “What do you mean?” You query softly.
The little tilt of your head you never seem to realize has such an effect on him has him breaking into a hint of a smile. He inhales softly, letting out a long breath as he enjoys the sanctity of spending time alone with you.
“Your dream was to finish school and become an editor, yeah?”
You hum in acknowledgement.
“Well, I never really had a career in mind. I kinda just took after my dad because I liked history. That and art were the only things I really could see myself studying,” he admits. Before you can ask the question on your mind, he continues. “I know my dad would have supported me no matter what I chose, but by the time I was applying to schools–” he hesitates, his jaw locking open as he speaks. “I knew. He was sick and we were a couple of months in, and–” he shakes his head.
The air has an edge that Sukuna’s certain only he feels, while you give him the space he needs to find words fitting of the moment. He swallows hard, the lump in his throat bobbing before he parts his lips again.
“You know what everyone says about art school and not making it n’ shit. History felt like it opened more doors for me to support myself,” he sighs. “Hindsight, or whatever,” he squeezes your thigh in place of waving a hand nonchalantly through the air.
You give his statement a moment to settle, shuffling an inch closer to him. Your voice is soft and steady as you quiz him further. “What about as a kid?”
He sucks in a breath. “I mean, sure, I wanted to be a fuckin’ astronaut like every other kid.”
With an airy laugh, you shake your head. “That’s cute, but I mean when you were like a teen.”
Sukuna’s lips press together tightly at the concept of being called cute, his grimace immediately twisting into a glower. He side-eyes you, but reserves any snide commentary for if you push the matter. Brushing off your choice of words, he shrugs. “Sure, I guess. I wanted to be a fucking street artist, but that’s not a job.” He pauses, shrugging as his gaze falls to his hand over your still-damp thigh. “I know it’s not street art, but I still get to work in art because of you. I don’t mind takin’ on some extra work doing something I like to see your dreams come true.”
He delivers it as though it’s natural, like he hasn’t just said the sort of thing that only seems true of a cheesy romantic movie. There’s no grand orchestral note to follow up something so sweet it rips the air from your chest, just his natural mild expression, as though even he sees it as just another day.
It sounds an awful lot like a confession of love to you, though.
“Sukuna, what–? I don’t– That’s so much,” you breathe, struggling to wrap your head around his words when your heart is doing circles around itself.
“Not really,” he shrugs, the air of nonchalance still throwing you off balance further. “I’ll have some late nights, but I quit the auto shop and I can do most o’ my work remotely. I’ll still have time for you and the brats.”
Completely at a loss, all you can do is stare. Your lips are pursed as you attempt to digest the knowledge, brows pulled together in disbelief. “I–” Still, words befuddle you. With a shake of your head, you tilt your head back up at him. “Wait, then what is your dream?”
He blinks slowly, his gaze drinking in every inch of your face. The muscles in his shoulder flex beneath the thin layer of damp polyester as he adjusts his arm to pull you closer by your waist. It’s effortless, the way he moves back into his casual position leaning over the table on his folded elbow after pulling your thigh flush to his. He slips his hand from your waist to settle along the back of the booth, running chilling lines up your spine with the tips of his fingers.
“This is.”
No flourish. No jokes. No teasing. He’s dead serious and wholehearted as he stares unwaveringly into your eyes like this isn’t yet another confession when you haven’t even wrapped your mind around the first one.
“There has to be–”
“Princess,” he interrupts the spiral you’ve started down before it can go further. “I watched my dad chase someone who never gave a shit about him for years. To have you here with me now and know the kids are safe and not with that fuckin’ monster who fucked over my whole damn family–” he shakes his head and shrugs all at once. “That’s all I could ever want.”
Your hand settles on his thigh, still grappling with his confession. In spite of the cool air still chilling against your damp clothing, warmth spreads through you at the realization that Sukuna’s found a slice of heaven. He got the push he needed to find his way in life in the form of a person, and your heart pounds wildly at the thought. Even though his fingers run featherlight along your spine, you’re certain he can feel your pulse, if not hear it.
“I’m happy,” he admits. “And I didn’t that was an option.” His brow twitches, downturning as he glowers down at your empty mug. “I figured I’d just kinda go through the motions as long as my brothers were okay and then,” he shrugs listlessly. “Dunno. Someday they’d move out, and I’d figure my own shit out then.” His gaze cements on yours, his face still contorted into his signature scowl, though he’s firm in his statement. “So, yeah. This. This is my dream.”
Even with his grumpy disposition, it’s sappy. Beyond belief. The kind of thing reserved only for the quiet moments with you where he finds safety within your presence.
You, on the other hand, are still at a complete loss. Sukuna can tell as much, between the owlish look you give him and the way you keep squeezing his leg. “What about after the kids, then? What do you wanna do?”
He continues to quietly examine your expression, reading every blink and twitch, every flicker of your gorgeous eyes across the diner’s walls as you search for an explanation as though he hasn’t laid his thoughts bare before you. Sukuna’s been vulnerable with you before, he’s given you more than the once-cold shouldered and pissed off brute could ever have dreamed; but this– here, now– is the truth, unfiltered and raw without an ounce of guardedness that you’ve grown accustomed to.
So, yeah, he supposes it makes sense that you’re a bit bewildered.
“Dunno,” he admits, sitting upright and rolling his shoulders. He pushes the hand back through his hair, staring ahead at nothing in particular. “I wanna travel. Do some of the things I never got to with my dad or in college. Sports games, concerts, see the world n’ all that.”
Your expression softens, still trying to wrap your head around everything, but falling into familiarity with him once more.
“With you, if you want.”
Something flickers within his crimson irises, a hint of uncertainty, no matter how brief. You quell the thought before he can dwell on it by drawing his attention to your hand as you squeeze his thigh. “I’d love that.”
The smirk he shoots you is lopsided, but it’s genuine. If only for a moment, his sharp edges dull and he bares his soul to you, offering his heart on a silver platter. It’s beaten and bruised, but it beats steadily still. Maybe even stronger, now.
“What’s next for you?” He grunts.
Pulled from your trance, you blink a number of times, still caught up on his sincerity. “Um–” you shake your head, “I’m not sure. I guess I didn’t expect to get pretty much my dream job right out of school.” You take a moment to consider what a future looks like for you. “I mean, there’s always opportunities to grow my career. I think someday I’d like to edit books for adults,” you chuckle at the thought of the children’s adventure novel awaiting you on Monday.
“What, sick of knock-off kids’ books?” Sukuna teases, the serious air beginning to dissolve around you.
“It’s cute and fun, and I think there’s a part of me that hopes kids like Cho and Yuji find something they love in them,” you explain your thoughts, leaning into his hand that continues soothing strokes up and down your back. “But, um– yeah. I'm a little sick of them.”
Amused, Sukuna exhales a harsh puff of air. “Alright, so you wanna edit smut books–”
“I didn’t say–”
“But what about outside of work?” He continues, pleased with himself as you throw him a little pout with narrowed eyes. He can feel heat rising along the back of your neck, a thought that makes him smirk as he teases you.
Cute. Always cute.
Brushing past his commentary, you quirk your head to the side, eyes grazing the ceiling in thought. Second dates don’t feel like the appropriate time to admit that you hope for simplicity and domesticity and that you see him in all of your visions, but he did just admit himself that he wants you to be a part of his distant travels, long after the boys move out.
Sucking in a breath, you peer up at him from beneath your lashes. “I guess I’m not really sure,” you admit, “but I’d like it if you, Yuji, and Choso were a part of it.”
Relief flickers within the cerise of his eyes, for as much as he tries to hide it with a glance away. Something about hearing you repeat his own wishes back to him feels like the last puzzle piece sliding into place. The world must agree too, because the harsh pitter patter of rain softens to something far calmer. He swallows hard, casting a quick glance back at the golden rays peeking through clouds to cast a warm glow on the slick asphalt.
“Think I speak for all three of us when I say we want that too, angel.” His voice is low, words spoken only for you when he looks back over at you. With a glance cast up and down your figure, he figures this is a good opportunity to get you back to the car without drenching either of you any further. “Why don’t we go get you warmed up?”
He calls politely for the waitress, but you catch his attention with a hand on his bicep as she makes her way over. His pupils flicker down, awaiting your reply.
“As long as the night’s not over just because of a little rain.”
He smirks. “Nah. But I’m still not letting you catch a cold, I can feel your goosebumps, y’know.”
With a glance down at the evidence of goosebumps rising along your arms, you hum your agreement. You thank the waitress as Sukuna pays and apologizes for the fact that she’ll probably need to mop. He grabs his suit jacket and leads the way back out into the brisk evening breeze.
The summer days are long and the sun– although low– still graces you with its warmth, thankfully. It almost counteracts the bitterness of the light wind passing over your wet clothing. Sukuna’s palm radiates heat as he squeezes you close by your shoulders as well, grateful for whatever small respite from the cold you can get.
Beginning the walk down the block as close as you can get to the heat he radiates, you bask in the smell of fresh grass and wildflowers sprouting within the cracks and crumbling pieces of the sidewalk. Birds call and sing to one another as the clouds shift and churn. Another bout of thunder growls overhead in the deep grays above, but your walk isn’t far.
Even with the sky warning you the storm isn’t over, you still find yourself stopping when you round the corner of the block, the tall buildings parting just enough to reveal a faint rainbow in the distance. It stretches behind the next block, sparkling as though droplets cascade down it.
Sukuna follows your gaze as you halt suddenly, his scowl softening as he finds the subject that’s captured your interest.
“Maybe mother nature’s apologizing for raining us out,” you offer.
Sukuna hums his acknowledgement, craning his neck to watch your expression. He admires the smooth curve of your lips, the lift of your brow as you examine the sky, and the endearing sparkle in your eye over something so little. He isn’t one to stop and smell the flowers or chase rainbows after a storm, but with you? It doesn’t seem so bad.
He might even get why people do it.
His grip on you tightens as a thought crosses his mind and before he can dismiss it, he swallows down any apprehension and faces his inadequacy, uncertainty, and fears head-on. The scowl he bears isn’t borne of frustration, irritation, or even any of the very beasts he faces, but rather determination as he turns to face you.
Your expression changes to something inquisitive as his arm leaves your shoulder in a cold shiver (that he swears he’ll fix as soon as he can). With a sharp inhale, he steps forward and cements his hands to your waist. His thumbs slide up and down your sides, frowning as his mind races through words that he had prepared…
Back when his plan was to do this outside of the first restaurant.
Not in the rain.
He also would have preferred if had admitted that he doesn’t feel like he’s enough for you on a fifth or sixth date, not the second.
But he supposes you have a point. Everything about Sukuna’s life is chaos, and you’ve chosen to be a part of it and embrace it.
So what the hell is he waiting for?
His fingers curl into your waist, his expression hardening as it always does when he’s deep in thought. “It’s funny, y’know,” he starts, glancing at the rainbow as though it’s suddenly caught his attention. “I had so much shit planned out, right down to the fuckin’ weather.” He blinks, his gaze trailing down to the sidewalk. “I don’t think anything I planned worked out,” he admits, though he seems a bit more confident in his admission than he did a couple of hours earlier.
You crack a smile at the ease he seems to find within your presence. You’re sure he’s completely unaware that he’s rubbing circles into your sides, completely caught up in finding the words suiting the moment.
“But you’re right. That’s not who I am, that’s not how my life goes.” He shrugs, shaking his head. Working up the courage to say what he really means, he swallows down the nerves climbing to the surface. “Shit goes wrong all the time, and I’ve fucked up a lot, but–”
“Kuna–”
“Wait, just–” he interrupts, his jaw tightening as he grapples for words. “Sorry,” he clears his throat, his gaze finally centering on your face. “Doesn’t matter how shit everything is, you’re always there. You’ve been a goddamn angel to me and–” He harshly cuts himself off to stop the claws of inadequacy from being able to get a grip on him. Picking up where he left off, he speaks with more confidence, certainty breathed through his every word. “I don’t wanna waste anymore time not calling you mine.”
Your fingers curl into his chest, your lips pursed. You swear your heart leaps from your chest and takes off, but the wide grin that spreads across your face says otherwise. Any thoughts of being cold disappear as fire erupts in your chest, erupting as it engulfs your entire body in molten thrill.
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Sukuna?” You whisper, eager and gentle.
“I’d be a dumbass not to.” To your delight, his lip quirks up into a hint of a smile; uncertain, maybe even a little flustered, but hopeful. “And I’m tired of bein’ a dumbass.”
“Yes.”
Sukuna surges forward in an instant, causing you both to stumble back. All precaution and regard for being on a street corner under storm clouds is thrown to the wall as he slots his lips over yours. Everything about the way he captures you is so him. It’s messy, fiery, passionate, and filled with fervor. Whatever it was that was holding him back has unlatched itself from him as his hands roam your body as though he doesn’t know where to keep them.
One slips up your waist, cradling your back as it slides up your spine only to move to your hip and slide back up into your hair. The other squeezes your waist before moving to the column of your neck and finally cupping your jaw.
His tongue glides along your bottom lip when a stray droplet suddenly hits your forehead and you pull back with a gasp of surprise. Your boyfriend scrutinizes the droplet like it’s done him a personal offense, wiping it with a thumb before turning his attention to the darkening sky. Whatever rays broke through the cumulus long enough to grace you with a rainbow clearly decided your makeout session wasn’t meant for a public street corner.
In Sukuna’s eyes though?
Mother nature is smiting him.
One droplet turns to two, and then four, and suddenly the rain is back in full force, pelting you with large droplets.
“Oh fuck off!” Sukuna loudly exclaims to the sky, unable to withhold the frustration that nothing seems to be going right. His hair is plastered to his forehead again when he glowers down at you like a cat caught in a rain storm. The edges smooth just a bit though, when he catches you laughing, your fingers still laced between his.
You shine brighter than the strongest rays that broke through the clouds, radiant as you stand beneath the rain. Unbothered by the droplets catching in your lashes, you simply grin at the grumpy man before you, enjoying his (mostly) faux disdain.
To your delight, the sight of you laughing has him rolling his eyes with an amused puff of air leaving his nose. It’s the first domino that leads him to join your laughter, pulling you by your hands into him. He smooshes your face into his chest with a palm to the back of your head, his laughter rumbling through you like the purr of a cat.
Only once it dies down does he take the time to get a look at your soaked form. “C’mon,” he mutters. “Let’s go dry off. My place?”
With your nod, he pulls you by the hand across the street, leading you beneath any overhang and awning that he can as you make a dash for the car. It may not be far, but it’s long enough that you’re dripping all over again by the time you reach the vehicle.
Sukuna blasts the heat. Although it hasn’t warmed up much yet, you both shuffle uncomfortably against the old leather. It sticks to any exposed skin and tugs at the wet fabric of your dress, a sentiment that Sukuna clearly feels with the way his slacks stick to his thighs. With no solution to his issue than to change, he huffs and casts a glance towards you.
Before pulling out of the parking lot, Sukuna leans over the center console to kiss you again, short and sweet. Before he can pull back, you take his face in your hands, cupping his cheeks. Stubble is just barely beginning to break through his skin, a five o’clock shadow growing in already.
Your thumbs travel his cheeks, pausing briefly on the faint scar that still protrudes beneath his right eye. It turns more prominent on his forehead where it tears through his brow.
He’s beautiful. Every tattoo, marking, and dimple. Every scar, the slit in his eyebrow, and frown lines that make him who he is.
“I think I like being able to call you my boyfriend,” you murmur, concealing your eagerness by biting down on your lower lip.
Although his face remains aloof, the increase in temperature of his skin within your hold gives him away. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, leaning in to kiss him once more, though you surprise him by pecking his forehead.
His face pulls into a scowl as he steals a kiss on your lips, the hunger from your moment in the rain still lingering in the way he presses you into the seat.
When he pulls back, he adjusts himself in his seat, the tightness of his damp slacks now causing a completely different issue. You barely manage to stifle your giggle, but he catches the humorous breath you let out.
“Don’t,” he growls, pulling out of the parking lot before you can embarrass him.
The latest pop on the radio serves as a backdrop for a comfortable silence. The kind that settles like a warm blanket. Coupled with the heat that finally kicks in, you enjoy watching the trees blur by on the short drive.
“Sorry.” It slips from his lips like he doesn’t mean to say it.
“Hm?”
“That it took me so long to figure this shit out. My feelings.” The last words sound a bit like they choke him, but you appreciate his honesty. “Satoru and Toji of all people kinda had to spell out for me how stupid I was.”
“It was a bit confusing with all the handholding and hugs and stuff,” you admit, before realization hits you. “Wait, you’re getting your relationship advice from Satoru and Toji?”
The salmon-haired man snorts, flashing you a smirk. “Yeah, no wonder I suck at this shit, huh?”
You giggle at the thought of Toji offering any sort of love advice. “I don’t know, I think you’re doing pretty good right now.” But another thought has you stifling more laughter. “If they didn’t point it out first, I think Yuji would have made it pretty obvious when we watched Ice Age 2.”
With a scoff, he pulls into his building’s lot. “The little brat doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.”
“I think he’s pretty funny,” you tease.
“‘M sure you do,” he grumbles. He chooses to ignore you as he makes his way around the car to help you out, relieved to find that the slew of reporters has begun to dwindle. He wrings his suit jacket out a bit before draping it over your shoulders to protect you from the onslaught of remaining photographers as he blocks you to the best of his ability, still refusing any questions.
By now, he hoped they would have given up, but Noritoshi Kamo is a big enough name to really gather attention.
Making your way up the building to his door, Sukuna locks it behind you and finds the both of you met with silence, something his apartment hasn’t heard for some time. Normally, he would hate the silence, but with the knowledge the kids are safe and he’s here alone with you, it’s nice. Intimate. A pocket of time all to yourselves.
He kicks off his shoes, watching you stumble over yourself in an effort to bend down in your form-fitting attire to undo your strappy heels. Clicking his tongue at the sight, he gives your lower back a guiding press in order to lead you to his couch.
“I’ll get it wet,” you protest with a pout.
There’s an all-too-smug smirk crossing his lips at your statement. “I don’t mind.”
Playfully shoving his bicep, you conceal your shy smile with a look at the floor beneath you.
Although Sukuna’s glad you aren’t quite as meek as you were when you first met, having grown more willing to stand your ground, he’s equally glad to find that he can still fluster you. Especially given the effect you have on him.
Plopping down onto the couch, your pupils blow wide at the sight of Sukuna getting down onto his knees before you for the second time since you’ve known him. This time, the sight sends a shiver down your spine as he looks you straight in the eye with an expression that sends a wave of hunger through you. From his lidded eyes to the relaxed line of his lips that isn’t quite a smile, but something that tastes of more.
His calloused skin grasps your calf as he undoes and slides your first heel off, tossing it aside. He follows suit with the next one, before both hands settle in the ditch of your knees and he pulls you towards him. With a shocked and mildly embarrassing squeak, your hands brace on his shoulders. Your knees collide with the wall that is his abs, before instinctively parting as he pulls you to the edge of the couch, stationary between your legs.
Your dress is bunched up around your upper thighs, barely covering anything as it sends heat straight to your face. Your heart pumps loud enough that in this silence, you’re sure he can hear it.
If he does, he gives no indicator. His focus is solely on the skin of your legs, bared to him and still-cold from the moisture clinging to them. The lump in his throat bobs once as his palms glide from their place beneath your knees, sliding up to grip the top of your thighs. His thumbs create divots in your skin from subtle pressure, sending your heart leaping from your chest with the attention he pays you.
Your breath hitches when his gaze holds yours with insistence as he brings his lips down to one thigh. It’s a form of worship that’s enough to make you shudder.
When he pulls back, his hands glide up your thighs until they reach the wet dress bunched up by your hips. Pulled from his trance, he’s reminded of the reason you both turned in for the night in the first place. A muscle in his jaw shifts, and when he looks up at you, the crimson eyes that make him stand out so much have nearly been swallowed by his pupils. “Let’s go warm my girl up.”
He pats your thigh once, pushing up to full height and offering his hand. Even as you take it, your brain is still short circuiting as it tries to figure out whether that’s an innuendo or not. He doesn’t leave you long to consider it before you’re standing behind him at his closet as he pulls a handful of comfy clothes out for you.
Peering curiously at what he chose for you– a metal band shirt and the pair of sweatpants that barely fit him that he always reserves for you– you find yourself tilting your head and rotating the shirt in an effort to decipher the band’s name. It’s borderline illegible, the white streaks and strands across the black hoodie supposedly meant to spell something, though you can’t make it out.
You suppose it isn’t just borderline illegible after all.
Oddly enough though, it is in the shape of a frog. Which is cute, you suppose.
Pulling out a hoodie for himself, Sukuna snorts at your squinting expression. “You’re not gonna figure it out.”
“What does it say?”
He cranes his neck to take a look at it. “Frog Mallet, I think.”
“Oh,” you tilt your head uncertainly. “Yeah, I think I see it. Do you listen to them a lot?”
“Not really,” he shakes his head. “I’m more of a grunge metal or nu-metal guy, but they opened for a concert I saw, have a fun gimmick, and I liked the design. Thought you might too.”
“What’s their gimmick?”
“All of their songs are about frogs.”
You crack a smile at the absurdity of a metal band singing about frogs as he turns back to his closet to grab a pair of sweatpants and boxers, which reminds you of just how much you’re looking forward to warming up.
In more ways than one.
“Hair dryer’s under the sink if you need it,” Sukuna grunts over his shoulder as you slip over to the washroom. You return feeling a fair bit warmer, albeit a little bare after deciding a hair dryer would not fix your soaked bra.
In an effort to dry them, you hang up your soaked clothing and make your way back to Sukuna’s room as he pulls his hoodie on over sculpted muscle. His gaze slides towards you, his expression remaining aloof in spite of the leap in his chest. Seeing you in his clothes bears a new meaning knowing he gets to call you his now, too.
He clears his throat as you bound towards his bed, plopping down at the edge of it. Leaning back on splayed palms, you gaze up at him with the kind of smile that could melt glass.
“Warmer?”
“Mhm!”
“Good,” he hums as he collapses on the bed, relaxing against the headboard with shut eyes. His whole body decompresses, an air of peace curling around him like the wisps of smoke he’s let go of. His gaze flickers open, his head tilting as he beckons you closer with a curl of his fingers. “C’mere.”
Scooting back on the bed, you barely make it halfway before you’re caught by bulky arms and dragged over his lap. You sit stationed on one side of his thighs, your legs thrown over his lap as he cradles you close to his chest.
There’s a light thump as he lets his skull drop to the headboard. “Fuckin’ rain,” he grumbles. “I was gonna take you to a market after dinner.”
“Ooh, like a flea market?”
He lifts his head as he nods. “An art market. Figured it was the kinda thing we’d both be into.”
You pout at the saccharine thought poured into your night together, even if things hadn’t worked out from the beginning. “That would have been fun! Maybe next time? They’ll probably reschedule if they got rained out today.”
He hums, sliding his hand up your leg to squeeze your thigh. “Next time,” he agrees, shifting to steal a kiss. “But this is nice too,” he smirks against your lips, finally finding his footing to shake the sensation of inadequacy.
“I definitely don’t mind this,” you breathe, splaying your hands over his built chest as you lean in to reciprocate.
The world slows. He moves slow. You both do, in tandem as you match one another. Your breaths, your lips, and the minute shuffling of your clothes under each rise and fall of your chests are all that permeate the air.
His mind no longer swims with shortcomings, drawing blank while simultaneously flooding with wave after wave of you.
Your smile, the gleam in your eye when you’re happy, the way you laugh when Sukuna does something stupid.
Your unending support, the way you always put others first, your effortless ability to reel him into your security.
The curve of your nose, the way your hair falls into place, how everything you wear compliments you beautifully.
Your thighs.
Your curves.
He doesn’t intend to, but his jaw parts, pulling away with a hitch of his breath. The silence is thick, cut with every inhale, but it’s the look in your eyes that gets him the most.
The way desire speaks for itself in the form of blown out pupils. The heat he feels radiating from your cheeks, running warmer than he is. A simultaneous desire and bashfulness that encapsulates everything he’s come to know about you.
He grips your thigh, guiding you to straddle his waist. It’s familiar in the kind of way that should be terrifying, but with an official title tying you to one another in a pretty red bow, neither of you lets it stop you.
His lips don’t move quite as slowly when they capture yours again. There’s a newfound confidence that he was born to inhabit, one breathed into every movement. His palms settle on your hips like gravity, his grip curling into the fabric of the oversized shirt hanging from your shoulders.
He kisses you like he may never get a chance again. The grip he has on your hips grounds him, it grounds you, as your head spins when his tongue glides across your lower lip. Your lips part on instinct as the taste of him floods your mouth. It’s different than all those months ago– both in the way he takes his time learning you, and the smokey quality to his taste having completely disappeared.
He curses under his breath when you pull back for air, giving you no time to get your bearings when he pulls you back by the nape. His pulse hammers against your palm, synced to the speed in which yours races in your ears.
“Kuna,” you breathe his name like a prayer. His fingers curl into your hair as he kisses the corner of your lips in a silent reply. His eyes flicker open. The gaze you’ve grown accustomed to is eclipsed entirely by his pupils blown wide with lust. The sight sends a shiver down your spine, your thighs clenching around his waist on instinct.
He swallows thickly at the sensation. You feel him then, long and hard as every shuffle of your hips has him twitching beneath you. Your breath catches in your throat as you experimentally roll your hips down.
Your boyfriend’s eyes roll back, fluttering shut as he lets out a breath. “Fuck,” he breathes, wrecked. “Can’t get enough of you.”
You can’t be sure whether it’s selfish or servicing that you roll your hips again, searching for the dizzying sensation of friction as a wet patch forms on your panties. He shudders beneath you, dipping his fingers beneath the hem of your shirt as his hands explore your curves. His fingers trace over stretch marks, scars, and goosebumps alike, mapping them out like constellations as he stares at you reverently.
His gaze lowers as he takes the hem of your shirt and makes a move to bring it up over your head. Your nerves rear their ugly head as he barely lifts it halfway, your fingers curling into his hoodie as you go rigid. For all the attention he’s paying to you right now, of course he notices. He stops dead in his tracks, lowering the hem as he scrutinizes your expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing–!” You insist, too quickly. Sukuna straightens, his brow pinching as he searches for answers. With a breath to steady yourself, you let yourself relax, mentally assuring yourself it’s just nerves. “It’s really nothing, I promise.”
Your shirt falls to your thighs as Sukuna cradles your face. “Talkin’ to one another isn’t a one-way street, angel.”
Letting out a breath, you nod. “You’re right. Sorry.” His thumbs brush your cheeks in reply. “I’m just nervous.”
“Mm.” You don’t get much more than a grunt in reply, as though he’s awaiting something more.
In an effort to quell the butterflies winding up within the pit of your stomach, words fall from your lips to fill the space. “I just– I like you a lot and I don’t wanna mess up, or disappoint you, or–”
Shutting you up with a kiss, Sukuna pulls back with a tight-lipped frown. “Where the hell’s this comin’ from?” But before you can even get a word in edgewise, he’s already connected the dots. It’s not exactly easy to get a reputation in college, especially when you’re not in a frat. No one gives a shit to get in others’ business when you’re drowning in exams.
He’s no stranger to the words that stick to him, bolder than his tattoos. That he’s good, big, but not to catch feelings. That he won’t acknowledge hookups after. That he’s got a penchant for being on the rougher side. That he’s a colossal asshole.
But he wants to leave that in the past, stack it up with every other terrible decision he’s been trying to make up for lately.
“You’re not gonna disappoint me.”
“But–”
Another peck on your lips. “Princess.” It’s just about the sweetest way he can tell you to shut up, though you know the words are on the tip of his tongue. He’s only holding back because every little shuffle of your hips makes it hard for him to think straight. “If you think I don’t feel the same way about you, then I need to do better. I worship the ground you fuckin’ walk on,” he gruffs, furthering the pounding in your chest.
“No, you’ve been amazing,” you murmur, cheeks heating up with embarrassment that the thought had even crossed your mind. You try to avert your eyes, but his hands hold you steady. “You’re right. Sorry, Kuna.”
“Stop worryin’ yourself over nothing. Let me treat my girl.”
If your face was warm before, it’s on fire now. “You know, you’re kind of a sap when you wanna be,” you tease.
“Mm, you’ve turned me into one.”
His grip on your cheeks loosens to let you fall into him. His eyes flicker shut as he figures you’re leaning in to kiss him, but your arms slide around his neck, your head burying into his shoulder. He blinks once, before snugly holding you.
“Y’know,” he ponders, “you’ve got me all worked up, too.”
You giggle, pulling back to look at him. “I can tell,” you hum, grinding down against him.
He huffs, his lips parting. “Brat. That’s not what I mean.” He returns his grip to your hips to stop you from shuffling around impatiently. “I’m nervous too,” he whispers, tentative but raw.
“You are?”
He shrugs, averting his gaze. Sex has never meant anything to him until now. It was a way to satisfy his needs, and that was the end of the story. But saying his thoughts like that to you right now feels entirely too vulgar, so he settles for something tamer. “You’re my first relationship. This means something to me.”
You suppose it’s never occurred to you that you might be. But putting the pieces together, everything adds up. “I trust you,” you offer. “This means something to me too.”
At the admission of your trust, he lifts the hem of your shirt again, waiting on you to give your consent.
“Go ahead,” you breathe, letting him pull it over your head and toss it aside.
“Fuck,” he breathes, his large hands roaming your curves. His gaze trails greedily across your bare skin, his hands following as he commits the sight to memory. His gaze settling on your breasts blows his pupils out further if it’s even possible, the crimson of his eyes a distant thought with every second he spends admiring the canvas of your body.
His palms round the plush of your breasts, giving them a tentative squeeze to test your reaction. You feel him twitch beneath you in response to the break in your breath, a smirk tugging at his lips. The worn pads of his thumbs slide up to brush your nipples, tearing a gasp that has him breaking into a full smirk.
For all his bravado, however, it softens, when he glides a hand up to your collar, beneath your necklace. His palm halts over your heart. Its beats stagger and leap, matching the beat of the blood in his ears. His lips purse, a chill running down his spine at the raw trust an angel like you has placed in his worn hands.
Your fingers curl into his hoodie when he pauses to admire you, giving it a faint tug, but he knows what you want. His arms cross over his front as he pulls it up over his head, adding it to the pile of discarded clothing on the ground.
Muscles, scars, tattoos, and the silver chain beneath his hoodie are bared to you, your gaze roaming down to the salmon happy trail running down into the hem of his pants. You shift your weight to glide palms down the washboard abs you’ve thought about more than you’d care to admit to him. His abdomen clenches as you do so, and whether it’s from the way your hips shifted or your fingers sliding over every peak and valley, you can’t say for sure.
He doesn’t move, watching every micro-expression with the intensity of a man starved. His patience comes as a surprise, but he’s so caught up on you that every moment is an eternity and a blur all at once. Minutes could be hours, but he couldn’t tell you if he tried.
Black ink carves stories into his pectorals, followed in a trail by your fingers until you reach his shoulders once more. The sensation of your small hands exploring the hard mass of his muscle has him shivering, actually shivering, and if he hoped you wouldn’t notice, he’d be out of luck.
A bashful smile crosses your face, equally sharing in his apprehension and eagerness. “You’re gorgeous,” you breathe.
You’re met with a raise of his brows, the wall of sudden interest to him as his already-flushed cheeks harshen. “Gorgeous?” His breath fans the bare skin between you, warm. His tone low, as sultry as it is gravelly. “That’s a new one.”
“A good new one?”
His chest rises beneath you. After a moment, he nods, finding your curious eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, good.”
“Good,” you whisper through the fluttering in your chest, pressing your weight against him to lean down and kiss him. Whatever tension remained in him finally gives as he melts within the warmth of your adoration. The world narrows, the sounds outside fading, the hum of the fridge distancing itself. It’s just the two of you, the sounds of smacking lips and the exchange of breaths.
For the first time– but not the last– sex isn’t just an act. It’s not about getting off and moving on.
It’s about connection. It’s about the way his arm wraps around your middle, holding you with the utmost care as he flips you, hovering over you without breaking the kiss. Even as you gasp, he swallows it, positioned between your thighs that spread on instinct for him.
It’s about the way he smiles. Not a smirk, or a grin. A genuine smile. The kind that matches the saccharine looks you always shoot him. It’s infectious, until you’re both smiling into the kiss.
It’s about the way every sensation and reaction is raw and real. That your nerves are shared, but soothed by the mere presence of the other.
As he pulls back, you would expect the room to feel cooler, but when his lips roam your jaw, lingering on your throat, everything heats up exponentially. Your hands fly to his hair as your head falls back into the downy pillow. A soft whimper parts your lips and Sukuna isn’t sure he’s ever heard something so intimate.
His breath shatters over your skin, the hitch evident when it falls like glass over your collar. He moves further down your body, your breaths turning to soft moans when he grazes your nipple. His gaze lifts when your fingers curl in his hair, a low grunt pulled from him as you unwittingly tug him away in the haze of euphoria.
Pulling himself back down, the flat of his tongue glides over your peaked nipple, your chest rising and falling in quick breaths beneath him. It sends sparks of electricity through your veins like lightning burning bright across a sky, shocking from limb to limb.
The way he moves, the way he learns, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. The first touch is always experimental, but he watches you with so much intensity that it’s like he knows exactly what you want before you do.
You suck in a harsh breath as he latches onto your nipple. “Sukuna,” you murmur, light and airy as he explores your body. His tongue flicks out and circles the sensitive skin, but what really makes you jolt is the sensation of him groaning at the sound of his own name dragged from your lips. He repeats his movements over your other nipple with more urgency, not out of a lack of patience, but from need. Chasing the sound of his name sung within your moans.
As he sucks on the peak of your breast and your fingers grip his hair, his eyes shut on instinct when he’s rewarded with a louder, more sure honeyed moan of his name. He’s quick to move up your body, crashing his lips against yours in ardor.
“Say it again,” he whispers, his breath ghosting over you.
“Suku–”
He swallows the sugary whisper before you can even get it out. You latch your arms over his shoulders, fingers curling into the inked skin laid over muscle.
When he pulls away for air, his back rises and falls harshly beneath your fingers with each breath. His gaze flickers across your expression, drinking in your pleasured expression.
“Feel good, angel?” His voice has a heady quality that hits you hard. Your stomach flips as heat blooms between your thighs, instinctively tightening around his torso. He cracks a smile, something between smug and adoring, something so Sukuna, that tells you he already knows, but you nod anyway.
He kisses the corner of your mouth, something soft and sweet, before moving down the bed. He settles between your legs, the jittery sensation of bubbling nerves making themselves known when his fingers settle along the band of the rolled up sweatpants you borrowed. Reaching for the sheets, you ground yourself by gripping them.
His eyes, always attentive, flicker to your hands, cementing themselves in your gaze as you tentatively watch. “Nervous?” His words aren’t meant to tease. For once, there’s no condescension or grin, but a genuine search for understanding.
Pulling your lip between your teeth, you give a nod. “Just a little.”
His thumbs rub soothing circles into your waist. Leaning forward to press a kiss just above the sweatpants, he murmurs his next words against the bare skin. “I’ll take care of you,” he assures, his breath tickling the sensitive skin. You squirm at the sensation, met with another smirk.
Giving his face a little shove at the realization he’s purposefully searching for ways to fluster you and make you squirm, you shake your head. Your smile isn’t lost on him, though.
His fingers curl around the waistband once more, silent searching permission swirling within his wide pupils.
“Please, Kuna,” you breathe as you flutter around nothing, lust outweighing your nerves.
It nearly undoes him to feel your hips shift eagerly. He doesn’t waste a moment sliding the sweatpants from your legs. He picks up right where he left off on the couch earlier, palms gliding up to your hips as he maps your body. “Shit, you’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” he huskily groans. His gaze dips to the wet patch in your panties, lacey and the very same shade of red that you chose for your dress and his tie.
Chosen to match his fucking eyes.
He swallows thickly, squeezing the plush of your thighs. His thumbs are so close to your core that you can’t help the buck of your hips. Pulled from his trance, he smirks, slow and pleased. “Cute,” he mutters, brushing a thumb over the lacey fabric clinging to your hip. “Bet you did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
You try to hide your bashful smile, but it breaks though. “Maybe. The bra matches, too.”
Sukuna’s voice is rough as he lets out an amused hum at your reservation. “Sweet girl,” he hums, hooking his fingers around the fabric clinging to your hip. With a kiss to your inner thigh, he pulls them aside, tossing them into a forgotten pile of clothes.
You shrink slightly as he doesn’t move for a moment, admiring the sight of you laid bare in your entirety beneath him. He doesn’t let you shy away, though, strong forearms wrapping around your thighs and tugging you closer. With a surprised yelp, your hands fly to his hair again, barely given a moment to ground yourself before he lowers his lips to your dripping entrance.
“Fuck, you’re wet, princess.”
It takes your breath away from the moment he connects with you. The sensation of his tongue dragging through your folds is soft at first as he measures your every reaction. Your moans grow louder as pleasure doesn’t just bloom but blossom, unfurling in your stomach with every flick of his tongue moving between your entrance and your clit. He doesn’t waste any time seeking what has you keening for more.
Sukuna groans as he etches every tremble, jolt, and shudder to memory. The bedside lamp frames you like art meant to be kept in a museum, now selfishly hidden from prying eyes. He keeps your thighs from closing around him with strong arms, amplifying the sensation of his tongue as he eats you out fervently. His grip on you is firm as he doesn’t let you shuffle away from him, set on tasting you when he pushes you over the edge.
“Ah–” You gasp as his tongue pushes between your folds, unintentionally pushing him deeper when your fingers curl in his hair. He groans, and that has the knot in your stomach tightening. It pulls so taut that the wave of your orgasm teeters right at the edge, ready to flood over at his beck and call. “Fuck, please–” You moan, your back arching off the bed in search of release.
You so rarely swear that Sukuna finds himself smirking, smug to pull such debauched noises from sweet you. Your walls flutter around his tongue, he knows you’re close, shifting forward to nudge his nose against your clit and send you over the edge.
“Ah–! Sukuna–!” You moan his name loudly as your abdomen clenches and you see stars, your climax rolling through you in rocking waves. Your boyfriend slows his movements to work you through it with slow drags of his tongue over your slit, pulling back once you slump in his arms. His lips are slick when he runs his tongue over them, cleaning up what he can of your orgasm from his chin before peppering kisses over your inner thighs in his grasp.
He’s surprisingly gentle and patient with you in spite of the aching tent in his pants that twitches with every moan and whimper that parts your lips. Pushing up onto his forearms, he shifts his body back over you, wiping his chin with the back of his hand before lowering back down to share the taste of you.
“Taste so fuckin’ good,” he mutters between kisses.
When your lidded eyes finally flutter open as he lets you catch your breath, eyes hazy and undeniably mirthful, he grins.
“Hey, princess,” he gruffs. There’s a grit to his voice that has you biting your lip as you admire the bulky man above you. In spite of the lustful and smug aura that clings to him like the smoke he’s since put-off, there’s something charmingly eager and jaunty that fans it away as he yearns for your approval. “How was that?”
Too dazed to give much more than a nod, you smile back at him. “Felt so good, Kuna.”
“Mm.” He leans down to kiss your throat again, making use of the knowledge that it never fails to make you shudder. “Good.”
Sucking in a breath, you watch his movements stutter and his jaw lock as your hand trails low down his torso, bringing one finger to his waistline. He watches you intently, his jaw falling open as you trail your fingers over his clothed length. His eyes roll back, blinking intensely.
You’re no fool, Sukuna is almost seven feet tall and he’s all solid bulky muscle to go with it. He’s a big guy, and some part of you has always known he would be big. You’re not innocent to thinking about it. Not when he manspreads on the couch like it’s the only way to sit and wears the sluttiest gray sweatpants known to man.
Not that you’re complaining.
With everything you knew about him though, you hadn’t expected him to be so patient. To take his time worshipping you, to be so gentle when his hands know only how to be harsh.
But that’s Sukuna at his core, isn’t it? A man left to his own devices, facing the harsh cruelty of the world with a jaded lens, whose layers peel back to reveal a kindness reserved for those closest to him.
The man panting above you now– veins rippling over muscle as his chest heaves, sweat speckling the expanse of his chest– he proves that beneath snarky rebuttals and frustrated huffs lies someone even softer still than the amused banter and smirks you often share. Still undeniably sharp and a little vain, but leaving room for the vulnerability, weariness, and now something far greater. Something akin to devotion.
Still Sukuna.
But your Sukuna.
He swallows thickly, the lump in his throat bobbing as you stroke him over his sweatpants. A broken groan parts his lips. His mussed hair begins to stick to his forehead as sweat beads at his hairline. “Shit, I–”
He doesn’t get a chance to finish whatever’s on his mind when you slip your fingers beneath his waistband. He groans, his hand flying up to catch your wrist. Pursing your lips as his eyes snap shut, you tilt your head.
“Kuna? Do you not want me to…?”
He blows a breath out through his nose, long and even. Even after being eaten out and cumming on his tongue, you’re still timid to the subject of sex. Cute.
What’s not cute is the dismay tinting his cheeks red. “I do,” he grumbles, his expression unreadable as his head hangs. He releases your wrist as you softly pull back, gathering his cheeks in your hands. When his expression meets yours, he’s tight-lipped, frowning with red that reaches the tips of his ears.
“What’s wrong?”
He frowns, then huffs. Heavy, but not irritated like usual. No, his pink-tinged cheeks tell you all you need to know. Reluctantly, he grumbles his confession like it might choke him were he any louder. “‘M not gonna fucking last if you…”
You smile, soft and reassuring. “Kuna–”
He tugs himself free of your grip, but rather than withdrawing, he chooses to bury his face in your shoulder, slumping more of his weight against you. “Don’t,” he warns in a low growl.
Running your hands through his hair one after the other, nails softly raking his scalp, you do your best to quell his nerves. “I’m not gonna tease you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” You don’t get any acknowledgement from him, so you continue. “It’s normal.”
Another huff. An indignant ‘not for me’ that sounds an awful lot like a pout.
You smile softly, kissing the side of his head. “It’s flattering that you’re that into me. I promise.”
Another huff, softer now. He cranes his neck to place a kiss below your ear, lingering featherlight against your skin.
“It’s our first time together,” you offer, “we’re still figuring things out, right?”
He catches the subtle way you seek your own reassurance, still nervous yourself. He doesn’t point out, merciful to you as you are to him. His voice is muffled in the crook of your neck. “Right.”
But performance issues are something Sukuna has never struggled with, something he doesn’t know how to move past. It taunts him. He’s still hard. He aches for you. But his mind won’t move past the blockade.
“Kuna,” you breathe, soft. “Baby.” His muscles slump into you further, more of his weight pressing down against you, unbeknownst to the man disarmed by your sultry name for him. “It’s fine. I promise. It’s kinda hot, honestly. You’re doing good.”
His cock twitches once, twice, in quick succession against your thigh. You blink, the pieces falling into place that your brutish and aloof boyfriend might like the embrace of your softness and praise more than he lets on, but he doesn’t give you the time to think it through. His lips are on yours in an instant, the first kiss a silent gratitude, the second starved.
He lifts his weight again as your hands resume roaming his body. Gripping the flexed and bulging muscles of his veiny biceps, squeezing and exploring the arms he’s so often used to move you at his leisure. Manhandling you like you were his from the start. Like maybe the distance after your argument wasn’t when he started to feel a shift. Like it was well before that, and he just never knew it as anything more than lust.
Your fingers graze his pecs, passing up over the silver of his dangling chain and back down his abs. Every scar tells a story you long to know someday, but you’d be lying to say it’s what’s on your mind when the smell of sex clings to the air.
This time, when you reach his waistband, he doesn’t let up. He lets you move the waistband past his hips, as far as you can manage without breaking the kiss. He even helps, slipping them off with a hand splayed by your head to hold himself over you. You swallow his groan, pulling back yourself to switch the focus to him.
The bold font of branded boxers clings to his hips, unfairly framing him in a way that makes your stomach drop and flip all at once. You can hear the teasing already. ‘Like what you see?’ Hell, you expect it, expect to laugh and roll your eyes, but it never comes. Glancing curiously back at his expression, you find your answer.
He is smirking, you know he’s thinking it. But with a single layer of clothing between you, he’s nervous too.
“I want you,” he growls, low and heady. His gaze searches yours for permission. “Wanna feel you around me,” he rolls his hips, a muscle in his jaw working as a sharp breath passes through your lips with the sudden friction.
“I want you too.” You nod, fingers curling into his back. “Please, Sukuna. I’m yours.”
He reels back, stepping away to let his boxers fall to the floor.
Right. The thigh tattoos he’d mentioned. Matching the bands around each of his limbs. But that’s not where your focus is.
He’s undeniably long. Thick, too. Prominent veins pulse as they run up to the flushed head, curving slightly to one side. Precum has already gathered on his tip, leaking from the angry red head that jerks at the mere sight of you. Like a testament to how much he means it when he says he’s attracted to you.
When he hovers back over you, it becomes increasingly obvious just how much bigger than you he is. He towers over you in every sense, and the cock that hangs heavy over your abdomen sends jitters to the pit of your stomach.
Intently watching your expression as he leans back over you, his fingers glide through your folds. Gathering slick on his fingers as your jaw falls open, he slips a finger in your entrance, moving slowly as your stomach clenches. Any other day he’d make a comment about how he knows he’s big and isn’t about to try to push into you without first taking care to ease your tension.
Today, his thoughts scream only of you. Your pleasure. Your comfort. So he leaves the pride behind.
“Ah–” Your hand flies to his forearm, clinging to the muscle holding your boyfriend upright. The sensation of one finger slowly pushing into you is pleasant in spite of the accompanying mild sting, but his thumb rubbing steady circles over your clit is intense. Once he’s sheathed within you to the knuckle, a shiver rocks your body as the cool metal of the ring adorned on that finger kisses your entrance. “Fuck, K-Kuna.”
“Mm.” Sukuna curls his finger, a groan ripping from the back of his throat when you jerk your hips as it takes him no time to find the spot that has you clenching around him. He smirks as your nails dig into his skin, wasting no time in littering kisses across your breasts. His tongue smooths over every spot his teeth graze as he leaves a multitude of purpling marks across your skin, heightening the sensations as another finger slides in.
With two thick fingers buried deep inside and his lips marking your skin, you see stars with every curl of his fingers. His name falls from your lips like prayers for a man who’s scarcely ever seen an altar.
Your legs tremble with every skillful curl of his fingers, instinctively closing around his torso. “Hah– That feels–” You can’t finish your train of thought when your mind goes blank as he repeatedly presses the gummy part of your walls. His movements are steady, pleasure flooding you with each curl as you coat his finger in slick.
“Feels what, angel?” Sukuna spurs you on, husky.
“Feels– hah– so good, baby.”
He loves your nickname for him, he loves hearing his name fall from your lips in moans, but he adores to be called terms of endearment. There’s a hitch in his breath as he twitches against the bed, growing more and more hungry and desperate to be inside you.
He pulls his fingers from you, waiting for your pretty gaze to flutter open and meet him. Sliding them between his lips, he cleans his fingers with a pop! Smirking as your grip on his arm tightens, you feel your mouth go dry when his length glides through your folds, lubricating himself with the evidence of your lust.
Swallowing hard, your gaze flickers between the erotic way he sucks on his fingers and the sensation of the heaviness resting between you.
He makes you look small, and he’s thick to boot. You cast a nervous glance back up at him.
His smirk softens, craning his neck down to kiss your jaw. “I’ll go slow,” he assures you.
At your nod, he lines himself up with your entrance, when a thought occurs to you. “Kuna?” Your hand splays across the sturdiness of his chest. “Condom?”
He blinks like it hadn’t even occurred to him, corners of his lips falling. “Fuck… Fuck,” he mutters, grunting as he pushes back from you.
At the bedside, he rifles through his drawer, casting a glance at you as he digs through all the junk and paperwork he’s tossed in there over the past few months. When he spots you grinning, lip pulled between your teeth in an effort to conceal it, he pauses, leaning over the bedside table on locked elbows.
“What?” He grunts.
You shrug, turning onto your side to face him. His gaze flashes down your body, sparks flying through your veins. “It’s just sweet to see you so flustered lately.”
“I’m not flustered,” he deadpans.
“Baby.”
If he wasn’t before, he is now. His cheeks take on a whole new shade of red as he stares at you with a continued frown.
“You know everything tonight’s been perfect for me, right?”
The quiet of the room stills. Something settles in the drawer but Sukuna pays the noise no mind. “Me forgetting a condom is perfect?”
You laugh, an airy sort of sound. “I mean, no, but,” you shrug, “I don’t know. It’s real. It makes the nerves and how clumsy and awkward I feel like I’ve been a little easier.”
The tension pulling his lips back dissipates. He may not reply, but the flare of exasperation settles. He pushes up from the desk, shooting you a sidelong glance as he pulls a condom from a box. “Found them, by the way,” he mutters. He tears it open with his teeth, which somehow feels like the most guy thing on earth, tossing the packaging aside and hastily rolling it down himself, though he pauses barely a quarter of the way down.
He sighs, forlorn, and blinks at you. You tilt your head questioningly, and had you blinked, you might have missed it. The faintest hint of something greater than just a smile. Like he’s choking down a laugh.
“It’s inside out,” he mutters. Embarrassment laces with humor as he fights his own laughter when you have to cover your mouth in any sort of attempt to spare him.
It doesn’t work for long. It slips out, natural and bubbly, as Sukuna hangs his head.
Like the final notch in a dam, his laughter slips loose, too. It breaks through the barricade as his shoulders rock with every chortle.
Because you’re right. For the first time, this isn’t a hasty attempt to wet his dick, but a moment of genuine nerves shared between two people so genuinely into one another that it intensifies everything tenfold. And really, what would your first time be together if not everything that embodies you both? Chaos, comfort, and a whole lot of stumbling and clumsiness along the way.
Dramatically discarding the condom in a garbage can beneath his desk, he pulls another one out, tearing it with his teeth again.
“Do you… need a hand?” You tease, grinning up at him as the atmosphere shifts with your laughter as your nerves settle at last.
His eyes narrow as he sheathes the rubber over his length, crawling back over you. “‘Do you need a hand?’” He mocks, scoffing warmly. “Fuckin’ brat.” He steals a kiss between your laughter as you practically double over, squealing gleefully when he presses his thumb into your waist just enough to tickle.
“Kuna,” you wheeze, breathless. “Wait, please–!”
He’s grinning now, his eyes crinkled at the corners in an unguarded fashion as he releases your waist. “Maybe you’ll think twice about making fun of me next time.”
Desperately trying to catch your breath, you give him a lazy one-shoulder shrug. “Maybe.”
“Done being a brat for now at least?” He queries with the faintest of warning squeezes on your waist. Your hands fly to his chest, nodding. “Good girl,” he purrs, the sound vibrating straight through your veins to your core. You clench around nothing, your hands gliding up to his shoulders and tugging him down closer to you.
“I need you,” you breathe, heat still coiling in your loin.
He meets your words with a nod. Obliging your needs, he dips a hand back down, slotting his lips against yours to swallow your moans. His thumb moves in deliberate circles around your sensitive clit, groaning as your nails graze the skin of his shoulders.
Pulling back for air, his restraint pulls taut as he shifts to line himself up with you. Lifting your head, you cling to his heavily rising and falling chest to ground yourself as you watch him sink into you with a sharp hiss. Just the tip first. The stretch is nothing like his fingers. There’s a sting first, one that he lets you ride out until it shifts into something different.
“Relax for me, angel,” he coaxes you as your muscles still give him some resistance. He licks his thumb, reaching back down to rub your clit. “Breathe.”
He must be able to read you like a book, because every time the burn of being stretched open shifts into pleasure is when he feeds you another inch. Every movement comes with a surprisingly sweet reassurance. Doing so good for me. Just a little bit more. Look so fuckin’ perfect.
When he’s buried to the hilt, your gaze flickers up to his. He’s already watching you, warmth swimming within shadows of lust– and something more. Something you’re not quite ready to put a name to, but something real.
“Gorgeous,” he murmurs, swallowing around the tightness of his throat. Every ounce of restraint is being poured into letting you adjust, but it snaps like an elastic pulled taut when your legs wrap tightly around his waist.
His hips stutter as he lowers himself over you. His forearms settle on either side of your head, holding himself at an angle where he can still watch you in spite of your overwhelming height difference. He’s slow first, your tight walls testing just how long he can last when he’s imagined this so many times.
You whine as he rolls his hips, feeling so full that every thrust leaves you feeling breathless. “K-Kuna,” you gasp as the last of any restraint dissolves into white-hot pleasure. “Don’t stop.” You can feel every vein that brushes your g-spot, every thrust carrying a weight that you’re certain is intentional, but his eyes are as hazy as yours. Acting on pure instinct and feeling.
It’s like nothing either of you have ever experienced. Pleasure unbound, coiling tight and ripping groans and moans from both of you. His breaths are heavy, his skin sticking to yours as sweat clings to you. He hunches down to lower his forehead to yours, the connection intensifying the sensations in a way you never thought possible.
The emotions that swirl in his eyes are so intense you can feel them dancing off your skin. Your nails drag across his skin, leaving harsh red streaks along the canvas of his back. He lets out a heavy breath between pants, every thrust intentional. It’s hot and overwhelming in spite of the slow way he chases your pleasure.
It builds slowly, like a song establishing its hook as he keeps a steady, deep rhythm. Every thrust feels as though it reaches your lungs, the overwhelming weight of him within and around you deafening you to the world.
He murmurs not your nickname, but your given name like a mantra, something you so rarely hear from him that it feels sacred.
Every twitch and jerk becomes more frequent within your walls, and he buries his face into your neck, his breath hot on your shoulder. “Been wanting this for so fucking long,” he groans, distracting himself in an effort to hold off on his climax when he already feels so close. “It’s everything I fucking imagined.” His hips still stutter, still drawing inevitably closer to falling apart, so hopelessly attracted to you. You’re everything he imagined.
“You f-feel so good, baby,” you breathe, unable to piece together a real reply when it’s the only thing on your mind.
One hand buries in your hair, cradling your head as he grounds himself. He kisses your neck over and over, his mind keening for more. More praise. More pet names. More of this. More of you.
It nearly sends him over the edge, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of your neck. “You’re mine.” It’s muffled, barely over a whisper when his teeth sink into your skin, careful not to harm you.
You cry out in pleasure, throwing your head back. His lips travel the length of your neck, kissing your throat, before crashing into your lips. Hard, heavy, fast, needy. His tongue pushes into your mouth like it’s all he knows, his hips pistoning at a pace that has you seeing stars as he pulls you back to the edge.
You tremble under him, whimpering his name until it all breaks. Wordless, the edges of your vision brighten a shade as the world spins.
His forearms tense. But what undoes him is the sensation of you clenching down on him in waves as the dam breaks once more and your arms and legs tighten around him. His hips harshly stutter as he cums with you, short and purposeful thrusts drawing out the moment for you both.
The room is a flurry of panting. Breath trying to be regained under the heady weight of sex. Neither of you move for a moment, lost in the feeling of you continuing to milk him, his abdomen seizing with every clench of your walls.
As he slowly relaxes, his weight presses down on you like a blanket of comfort. The cool sensation of his chain draped over your skin makes you shudder when he buries his face into your neck again. You stay like that for a long moment, reassured by the steady beating of his heart pressed to your sweaty chest that he’s slowly coming down from his high with you.
He shifts with a hiss of overstimulation as he lifts himself back up, a modicum of crimson visible once again in the rings of his eyes when he’s only a breadth away. He leans in, slow, gentle as he slots his lips against yours. They brush as he pulls back a hair’s length. “How’re you doing, angel?”
With a contented sigh, you nod. “Good. Really good.”
He smirks.
“You?”
He hums, unable to put an adjective to how lucky he feels, so he settles on something simpler. “Me too.”
After all, you get it.
And he was stupid for ever worrying that you wouldn’t.
He waits a beat before pulling out with a groan, sliding from the bed as you yawn tiredly. You unabashedly stare at his sculpted figure as he bends over to pick up a shirt and boxers. He pulls on the boxers, momentarily staring at the shirt before he uses it to wipe the sweat from his brow and tosses it into a laundry basket across the room.
Sitting upright, you move to swing your feet off the edge of the bed when he clicks his tongue. “Lay down,” he gruffs. “Let me take care of my girlfriend.”
You have to chew on your lip to hide your bashful smile.
He scours the floor for your panties, setting them beside you and kissing your temple. “Be right back. Stay here.”
“Can I have a pair of your boxers?”
He glances down at your panties, then across the room to his dresser.
“My panties are wet,” you pout. “Actually, they have been most of the day.”
He smiles sleazily.
“Not like that,” you reach out to lazily smack his hip, met with a snicker.
“Anything else, princess? Need water? Do you need a shower right now or somethin’?”
“Just water,” you smile at his thoughtfulness. “And my boyfriend.”
Pride swells in his chest as he makes his way out of the room to fulfill your needs.
He returns shortly, condom discarded, water in-hand, and two cloths– one damp, and one dry. Carefully, he cleans your still-trembling thighs before handing you a fresh pair of black boxers. Choosing a side of the bed, you pull the blankets up over yourself, awaiting your boyfriend as he finishes cleaning himself up, taking off his chains and rings, and discarding condom wrappers.
He pauses at the foot of the bed with a gruff “move over”.
“Oh, is this your side?”
His lips pull tight. “No. I just don’t want you near the door.”
Your lips form an ‘O’, at a loss for words as he watches you shuffle over.
His usual mild or disinterested expression has been replaced with something far warmer, albeit a bit fatigued. Though weariness clings to the circles beneath his eyes, it’s not the kind that plagues him. It’s peace. It’s the kind that allows him to gently slip under blankets with you, reaching over you to turn off the lamp like it’s where he belongs.
The blanket of darkness settles over you like an embrace as the lamp gives way to silver light weaving between the blinds. The warmth that surrounds you isn’t brought on by any amount of light though, it comes from the sensation of Sukuna’s bicep wrapping around your middle, pulling you into his chest as he lays on his back. Your leg tucks between his thighs, your arm draping across his abs.
His heart loudly beats beneath your ear, far calmer than it was when he was buried in you.
Undeniably still fast, though.
The room is still, silver tones bathing everything in a dull glow. The world outside has calmed, engines few and far between as the night draws in on all sides. Birds are dozing in their nests and the city has mostly turned in for the night. It’s just you and him, enjoying a pocket of peace, untouched by anyone else.
Your hand traces small patterns atop his pecs, rising and falling softly. You curiously explore the expanse of his torso in ways you couldn’t earlier, too drawn in by temptation. Your fingers pause over bumps, marks, and scars, mapping out stories long before you ever met him.
Your finger glides over a former tear that bites into his shoulder, pondering what sort of thing Sukuna might have gotten himself into.
Your thoughts must be loud within the silence, because he seems to read them. “I was four,” he hums, shifting to glance down at the mark he’s carried most of his life.
“What happened?”
He smirks, craning his neck towards you. Resting your chin on him, you watch him with a curious smile.
“I don’t remember it happening,” he starts, “but y’know those animals on springs at playgrounds that rock back and forth?”
“Yeah.”
“I violently threw myself off of one in an attempt to attack Toji on horseback.”
You barely manage to stifle your laughter.
“Not really sure how I landed on my shoulder. I got stitches there, Toji got ‘em on his back.” He cracks a fond smile. “My dad told me he only looked away for two seconds. He was mortified.”
“You two must have been a handful for him.”
He snorts. “Yeah. Apparently the intake nurse at the ER knew me by name.”
Your brows raise at the revelation. “You were there that often?”
He shrugs. “Broke both o’ my arms. Separately. An ankle, my nose, a few fingers…” He squints in thought. “Dunno. Other shit, too. I’ve gotten a lot of stitches. Was there for Toji sometimes, too.”
“How did you two even manage that?” You gape.
He smirks, rubbing a soothing thumb over your bare waist. “I threw myself off an ATV Toj’ stole from his family, fell in a box of Cho’s Lego, smashed a finger in a car door. Nothing that serious, just wasn’t a very careful kid, I guess.”
“Throwing yourself off of a stolen ATV definitely qualifies as serious,” you point out with an exasperated laugh at the idea of Sukuna’s poor father chasing after him.
“Not if you don’t get caught.”
“How in the world did you not get caught?”
He grins, now. “We returned the ATVs before his family found out. My dad didn’t know they were stolen, and didn’t talk to the Zenins.”
“You are so lucky.”
Sukuna takes pause at that thought. Back then, he wouldn’t have considered himself so fortunate. Toji was always running from his family, while Sukuna avoided his own house whenever his step-mother’s bright red overpriced car was in the driveway. Choso struggled to put things together until everything began to collapse and Sukuna never knew what to make of his relationship with his half-brother. That’s only the tip of the iceberg that Sukuna held up on his shoulders.
But looking back, he can finally see the moments worth cherishing. His entire childhood isn’t a smear on his record anymore. The poison is bleeding out, leaving behind a heart that beats stronger for it.
He remembers laughing with Toji as his dad picked them up from the theater after their first movie alone.
He remembers teaching Choso how to skateboard, buckling a helmet over his head in an effort to keep his dad’s worries at bay.
He remembers how proud his father was as they wandered through a museum and Sukuna curiously pieced together artifacts with the fragments of knowledge Jin had taught him at the time.
He remembers picking a cap up off of the floor at his high school graduation and handing it to his father as he wheeled him out of the ceremony. Jin’s voice, hoarse from treatment, had been fond as he teased Sukuna for having a big head.
He swallows hard as he regards the memory he had once locked away, so filled with grief he couldn’t bear its weight. For the first time, it feels… lighter. Maybe still a little bittersweet, but it doesn’t loom over him like a snake preparing venom.
Your voice pulls him from his thoughts. “What about this one?”
Your fingers trail over a scar the length of your thumb that trails across his pelvic bone. He grunts, nudging your hand away before wrapping it back around your waist. You chalk it up to being a sensitive area, unaware that he was deathly close to admitting it tickled.
Something in his expression shifts, lighter than the mild scowl he just shot you, though he masks it before you can figure it out. “Toji n’ I vaulted over a fence and I impaled myself on a nail.”
“Oh my god,” you gasp in disbelief. “Really?!”
That shift in his expression gleams now as he flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Nah. My appendix burst.”
You give his chest a light smack. “You’re such a dick,” you groan as he laughs, his chest rumbling beneath you.
“Mhm. Your dick, though.”
You roll your eyes, settling your chin back on his chest with warmer cheeks than before. “Yeah. My dick.”
“My girl,” he reciprocates the thought, his hand raising to move some stray hair from your forehead.
His fingers trail the length of your spine, gliding over skin smooth, scarred, and everything in between. He maps your stories as you tell him about the meaning of the paths that etch your skin, his gaze never once leaving as you speak. He commits everything to memory with the attention of someone cataloguing the stories away as though they’re his own.
When your voices wear thin and your eyes grow lidded, the quiet of the night slipping in around peaceful souls, you slowly find your head lowering to Sukuna’s chest. Your lashes flicker in an effort to stay awake with him, but his muscles are loosening too.
You yawn, your voice lowered under the blanket of fatigue. Cracking your eyes open just enough to see his peaceful expression, you smile to yourself, your gaze landing on the ink carved into his chest.
“What do your tattoos mean?”
He sucks in a breath, his eyes still shut as he replies. “Nothing, really.”
“You just liked them?”
He takes a beat before replying. For a split second, you think he might just have fallen asleep. “They were a rebellion or something, I guess.”
“A rebellion,” you parrot his words with a yawn. “Against… who?” You can’t imagine based on the way he talks about his father that it would be him.
“Dunno,” he admits. His mind grapples for a reason behind them, but truthfully there’s no meaning to his reasoning. “They just felt like something I could control, I guess.”
You peer up at him, though he’s still the picture of a man nearly asleep. The lines of his brow have smoothed over, his entire body sinking into comfort. “How old were you?”
“Seventeen, I think.”
You bury your face into his chest at the thought of a young Sukuna grappling with the fact that his life seemed so out of his own hands that he reached for anything to feel a sense of control. And to think it was probably booked before his dad even got sick, you can only imagine how your boyfriend handled things after.
“They let you get tattoos at that age?”
“They shouldn’t,” he huffs, half-amusement, half-seriously. “The shop was pretty careless. The artist was good, though.”
“I like them,” you smile against his skin. “They suit you.”
He yawns. “Thanks, princess.”
For the first time since the trial, Sukuna’s nightmares turn into dreams.
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❦ a/n ; hiii my loves!! i genuinely can't believe this series is coming to a close in one more chapter :') it's been such a blessing to share this journey with you all so thanks for sticking with me on the slowest burn ever
i hope it was everything you all hoped for <33 i took a lot of time working on the smut to make it special and i hope it lived up to expectations. those two saps are so in love and such yearners but i also wanted to share that first times aren't perfect and that's okay and i wanted to capture that realism here :) they're the kind of people who get to find comfort in one another and can talk and laugh together during sex and that's the foundation that builds a lasting relationship
the same goes for their date of course!! i really wanted to capture the fact that sukuna will go to any length to make her happy, but that's not really the kind of couple that they are at the end of the day. i wanted to find a sweet way to show that they've learned to embrace the chaos and that they don't need extravagance to have a sweet date
i'll quit yapping but i'd love to hear your thoughts as always and i hope it all lived up to your hopes <33
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. minor injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. panic attacks. self-loathing. mentions of difficulty eating. legal drama (likely with inaccuracies). medical content. minor descriptions of wounds. mentions of arachnids. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 17.8k.
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Setting down the pencil on your final exam is a relief you never knew could feel so good.
Like a rainbow at the end of a storm, a hot shower during a snowstorm, or a nice home-made meal after a full day’s work. You’re more than willing to admit that it might be dramatic, but as you leave the building behind for what you hope is the last time, the sun beaming down on your skin really does have that effect.
You suppose after a year of struggling to keep up with everything and a tense last week, that sort of relief feels earned.
This day didn’t feel like it would ever come. You didn’t want to be one to give up so easily, but your avenues were minimal and it felt like whether you turned left or right you were met with one blockade after another.
Your heart swells to think that it’s Sukuna who found a solution, shoving the blockade aside from a road you didn’t think to approach. You’re not quite sure how he did it, but as the tape pulled aside and your dream became tangible, holding your exam schedule now feels surreal. With the final one completed, you neatly fold the paper and tuck it into your pocket, unable to stop grinning.
Slipping your bag from your shoulder, you pull your phone from the front pocket and power it on, awaiting any incoming messages.
Two from Shoko, and three from Sukuna. You shoot a quick text to Shoko to let her know your final is finished and you’ll meet her and Kento for lunch soon, before opening your messages with Sukuna.
10:43 AM Kuna <3 || hey princess
10:43 AM Kuna <3 || let me know how your exam goes
10:44 AM Kuna <3 || i know youll kill it
You smile at his encouragement.
11:38 AM You || Definitely killed it!! Thanks Kuna :)
With your phone in hand, you make your way over to your car to meet your friends. It vibrates again, lighting up with a text that reminds you of just how lucky you are when Sukuna’s name flashes across the screen.
11:42 AM Kuna <3 || thats my girl
Unable to help but grin at your phone like an idiot, you allow the butterflies in your stomach to grow and flutter like monarchs preparing for migration. He may be a bit of a dry texter, but it makes his encouragement and compliments remarkably sweet.
Your heart batters at its cage as you attempt to put together a message to thank him for helping you get to this point, guilt still pricking at your chest with every step, when he sends another couple of messages.
11:44 AM Kuna <3 || still going out with shoko and kento
11:44 AM Kuna <3 || ?
Settling on an easier reply to his first message, you figure you can thank him later, opting to focus on being free of schoolwork. Free of Kaori.
11:45 AM You || Thanks Kuna <3 yeah I’m just about to head over!
You hope he’s smiling at his phone as much as you are. Tucking your phone into your pocket as he lets you know to have a good time and text him once you’re home, you make your way to the sushi place that Shoko had chosen.
Stepping into the quaint little shop, you’re greeted by the fresh scent of fish and cooked rice. The lighting is warm and inviting, red brick decorating the walls as each booth mimics the appearance of a vintage food stall you might find pressed up against a building.
Making your way across the vinyl flooring, you peer around the slats dividing the booths at the end of the restaurant to find your friends seated waiting for you. Shoko’s head whips up at the sight of you, her usual slow drawl and drowsy expression replaced with something eager. “So?” She pushes you for the details on your final exam.
“I think I killed it,” you grin.
Getting to her feet, she hugs you tightly. “I’m so happy for you, oh my god,” she murmurs, pulling back with a grin. “Congrats girl!”
Kento regards you both warmly from where he sits across from Shoko’s spot. “Congratulations,” he adds, punctuating his cheer with your name.
“Thank you both,” you beam, slipping in beside Shoko. “Thanks for all the help with studying too, Ken.”
“Not a problem,” he hums.
A collective sigh of relief is breathed through the air as another year is finished and you and Kento can look forward to walking across the stage at graduation, while Shoko is sure to do so in the years following. Your parents may not be there, but they’ll get to watch a video and all of your friends will be there to cheer you on.
“I still can’t believe Sukuna pulled that shit off,” Shoko nudges your arm, earning a grin from you that can only be properly encapsulated with the term ‘lovestruck’.
“Pulled what shit off?”
Your eyes widen as a flash of pink strikes your vision, a devilish smirk meeting your gaze as the man in question slides into the booth across from you.
A bashful simper spreads across your lips at the sight of him. You need to chew on your lip in order to hide even an ounce of the eager grin that you’re positive you can’t shake as the three people who’ve kept you sane (and driven you mad) this year all surround you. Your heart warms as Sukuna offers a fistbump to Kento, who looks startlingly out of place as he obliges.
“Took you long enough,” Shoko quips, casting a knowing glance at your eager grin.
“You made it sound like a closer walk than it was,” Sukuna snorts, leaning over his fist.
“Maps said it was ten minutes!” She insists.
As they bicker over Shoko accidentally choosing the wrong location, you can’t help the way you check out the man across from you. Over the past couple of weeks he’s noticeably bulked up again, his skin no longer gaunt. He still looks undeniably tired, but he carries himself in a way that makes it seem like your run-of-the-mill bout of waking up a bit too early. His hair is well-groomed and styled, and for the first time in a long time, glimpses of the real Sukuna don’t just claw and slither through the cracks.
He now sports a snarky grin as he wittily replies to Shoko, one that he used to reserve for little moments in the safety of his home. Now he snorts a laugh as your friend rolls her eyes.
He’s still guarded, you can see him holding back as he tries to find his place within your friends who once threatened to knock his lights out if he hurt you (rightfully so). Now, though, his shoulders aren’t permanently tensed. He’s present, and in the moment. He’s sharing the real Sukuna more openly.
There are stresses in his life, but not the kind that press down on him from every side until the walls close in and his lungs cave. He still has a lot on his plate and for that you do find yourself unable to shake some guilt that he’s giving up two years for you.
“Alright, alright,” Shoko concedes, “I’ll triple-check next time. Just quit your complaining and order,” she rolls her eyes, shoving the menu towards Sukuna.
He shoots you a sly smile from across the table, nudging your foot. “Pick whatever you want. I’ll cover you.”
“I can cover my own, that’s alright Kuna!” You nudge him back.
“Nah, I got the check from Kaori, I gotcha princess.”
“She actually paid?” You gasp.
“Mhm. She returned some of the kids’ shit, too.”
“Only some?” Shoko frowns.
“I wasn’t expectin’ any, so–” he cuts himself off with a haphazard shrug.
Kento leans back with a frown. “I would hope she was left no other option than to hand things over given that she should be tried in a criminal investigation.”
“No kidding,” Shoko agrees. She runs a hand through long brown hair, taking a sip of her drink. “Have you heard anything about it?”
The brute nods, a more serious air to his hardened features. “It kinda went over my head, but the judge referred it to a higher court or something. My lawyer said I might need to testify but it’s gotta go through the whole court bullshit again, so it won’t be for a bit.”
The table nods with an overall solemn dust settling over the situation, though it’s blown over with a firm “good,” from Kento, who offers a smile. “I’m glad her methods turned on her.”
In truth, you hope they bite harder. You hope the next headline you see is her downfall.
“For the record, I offered to kill her,” Shoko points out with a smug grin.
Sukuna snorts, much to Kento’s disdain as he flashes her a warning glare. “Guess I know who to call if shit goes down,” he snickers in spite of the blonde’s tight-lipped frown. That’s just who your friend is, but knowing him for as long as you have, you still spot a glimmer of amusement hidden well within those auburn irises.
“Do you have any plans for the payout?” Kento moves along before Shoko and Sukuna can continue.
A flash of uncertainty swims in claret pools as Sukuna’s gaze slides to your friend. Money is still a subject that Sukuna prefers to keep to himself, weary of those around him when he’s managed so long on his own. While he’s grown capable of relying on others for some things, he remains steely when it comes to income.
When he spots no malicious intent within the blonde, you’re surprised to find his guard lowering his walls just enough to allow for a glimpse into his life.
“Paid off my bills last night,” he starts, “most of the rest is in an investment account for the kids, but I kept some aside for Christmas, birthdays,” he shrugs, fiddling with a thick black ring on his middle finger, “day to day sort of stuff.” He sucks in a breath as his attention turns to the titanium on his digit. “Think I’m gonna get a new place.”
Shoko and Kento both murmur their collective congratulations and approval over Sukuna finally having the money to let him live rather than just exist.
You tilt your head in that cute way that Sukuna’s always loved, garnering a smile from him. “Did you have something in mind for a new place?”
“I wanna give the kids their own rooms,” he admits, tapping a finger on the table in thought when the waitress arrives to gather your orders. After placing them, he picks up right where he left off. “Cho turns thirteen soon, n’ Yuji turns six in a couple of weeks, I think it’ll be good for them to have their own space. Think Cho’s needed it for a while, honestly.”
As Kento discusses good neighborhoods and open houses he’s recently spotted nearby, always on top of being the responsible one, Sukuna’s hand stretches to the center of the table. He settles it with his palm upright, expectant.
Shoko shoots you a knowing grin as your fingers slips between his like it’s second nature, as though your heart isn’t battering so hard you fear the entire restaurant can hear. His thumb glides across your knuckles before firmly gripping your much smaller hand, his calloused skin never failing to set yours alight. The way his touch has the ability to kindle a flame within your chest– and between your thighs– is something you think you’ll never grow tired of.
As Shoko pokes for details about what it was like to take your exams after petitioning, the table falls into easy conversation. Seeing your crush and one of your closest friends fit in with Kento in spite of their differences in the past fills you with a tepidness that you don’t think anything could bring down at this point.
And for once, you don’t feel like you need to watch your back, lest Kaori or anyone else try to take it from you. It’s just you and your friends enjoying life (and sushi) as it is, here in the moment.
When Sukuna slides his card out to pay not just for you, but all four of you, he’s met with protests and the opening of wallets, but he keeps a strong palm over the paper at the edge of the table, unwilling to let any of you place your cards down.
“Kuna, you can’t just–”
“Look, don’t get used to it. But for the next little bit, shit’s on me.”
Kento offers his glass in cheers, a little more his speed, which Sukuna smirks at, followed by your and Shoko’s thanks.
“Oh yeah, you guys have plans tomorrow, right? Taking her out on a hot date?” Shoko pries with a knowing expression as she nudges you.
Heat rises to the tips of your ears as Sukuna fixes you with a simper. He’s always been smug when it comes to his ability to fluster you, but you find that same heat dusting his cheeks too. “Yeah, I was gonna call her tonight,” he admits, though his attention is solely on you. “It’s a little unconventional,” he chuckles, averting that sharp crimson stare, “but I’m hoping she doesn’t mind.”
“Cuuuute,” Shoko jeers at your side, chewing on a toothpick. “Well, you can have her tomorrow then, we’re having a girls’ night tonight.”
“We are?”
“Mhm! I just decided,” Shoko shrugs, knocking her heel playfully into Kento’s shin when he attempts to protest that he planned on applying for jobs tonight. “It’s your turn to choose a movie anyway,” she points out, which satisfies him in spite of his huff.
“Fine. Can we please leave my nails alone this time?” He pleads.
Groaning, the brunette beside you throws her head back. “You’re no fun.”
Sukuna snorts. “Have a good night,” he offers, clapping a hand down on Kento’s shoulder. On his way out, he turns his attention to you. “I gotta get back to work, but I’ll text you details,” he gruffs, leaning down and letting his lips brush your forehead briefly before leaving a chaste kiss where they brushed. “See you tomorrow, princess.” Standing upright, he flashes a wave at Shoko and Kento. “Thanks for the invite.”
With hands in his pockets, he pushes out the door, leaving you a blushing mess to be teased by your friends for the rest of the night.
–
Shoko had opted to stay over to help you choose an outfit given the occasion, as you feel a sense of deja vu with her seated cross-legged clutching your heart-shaped pillow atop your bed.
“Did he give you an idea of what to wear?”
You shake your head, staring at Shoko’s reflection in the full-length mirror ahead of you. Twirling in the cute floral dress you’re trying on, you chew on your lip. “He said Choso’s still been having a hard time with anything outside of their usual schedule, so I actually think he planned something at home?” You explain.
“Poor kid. Is he seeing anyone about that?”
“Yeah, but he only started a couple of weeks ago. I think they’re trying to have him work towards feeling better gradually.”
“Makes sense. He’s pretty young to have gone through what happened. I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it.” Leaning forward over the pillow she’s clutching, she tilts her head thoughtfully. “Honestly, I think I’d love a lowkey first date. It just feels like less pressure and I hate first dates.”
Trying on a dress in a gorgeous silver hue with sleeves that flow just past your elbows, you turn to face her. “I’m still nervous,” you admit, “it honestly doesn’t feel different from a first date with someone I don’t know.”
“Not that one,” she casually breaks the conversation to turn down your dress, ignoring your pout as she adds, “I know you don’t have shoes that go with that, we’ve been over this.”
Right.
“Anyway, it might feel that way now, but you’ll feel better once you’re there.”
Changing into a cardigan with a cute frilly black skirt, you turn back to her as you button it up. “You’re probably right.”
“I like the first dress better.”
Staring down at your outfit, you tilt your head questioningly.
“It said ‘date’ more, this one’s closer to what you usually wear. And it’s just about summer, you’ll overheat. Anyway, you’re lucky. You get to skip right past all the ‘will-they won’t-they’ stuff and not knowing if they like you back. I mean, you told me he basically said he wants to ask you to be his girlfriend.”
“He did,” you agree thoughtfully as you glance at her through the mirror, reverting back to the first black floral dress you had on. “And trust me, I still went through all that anyway,” you laugh, grateful to be beyond that. “But I don’t know, I just don’t wanna mess anything up. I really like him, you know?”
“Oh, I know,” she chuckles, “but I mean the guy’s one of your best friends. I don’t think you could do anything wrong in his eyes.”
Your cheeks warm as you face the first outfit choice in the mirror again, pulling out a pair of heels that accentuate the white flowers stippling the dress. “I guess you’re right.” Trying on the shoes, you grab matching necklaces and rings, doing up the look as much as you can while still keeping it casual enough for his house. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
Spinning to face her, you fiddle with the necklace you’ve just clasped around your neck. “You know Sukuna’s, um, reputation?”
“Yeah?”
“What if I’m like–”
“I’m not listening to you worry about sex with him. The way he looks at you is like– bordering on gross it’s so cute. I’m pretty sure you could admit to murder in the middle of it and he’d still like you.”
You can feel heat climbing to the tips of your ears from the base of your neck, your heart hammering as she cuts you off.
“I just don’t wanna bore him. I know he’s been with–”
Shoko smiles understandingly as you divulge a genuine insecurity. “Just talk to him. He’ll listen.”
Settling an ounce of your nerves, you nod. She’s right. Sukuna clings to your every word and you don’t know why you would think he ever wouldn’t, pushing aside the concerns you now recognize as irrational.
Leaning back against the headboard of your bed, Shoko tosses your pillow aside as she stares at your ceiling. “I’m so jealous. My sex life is so stale.”
You chuckle. “I mean, you’ve been really busy this year.”
“You’re telling me,” she groans, dragging hands down her face. Muffled, she adds, “next year is only gonna be busier.”
“Are you still into that one girl from your class?”
She groans, earning your laughter.
“Why don’t you just go talk to her?”
“I have four more years of classes with her, if I mess up now, I think I’d die of embarrassment.”
Wrinkling your nose, you offer a small nod. “Okay, fair. I get that.”
“If you didn’t, I’d call you a hypocrite,” she snorts. “You almost ready? He should be here soon, right?”
“Just about,” you eagerly look yourself over, giving an approving nod at your appearance in the mirror. Flipping around to face her, you sit on the edge of your bed. “You know what else he texted me last night?”
“Spill,” she insists, scooting closer.
“He said he’s taking steps with Choso so that he can take me out on what he called a ‘proper’ date,” you explain, making quotations in the air with your fingers. “Which,” you shrug, “I mean honestly I don’t really care what we do, I think anything he does is sweet.”
“Aw.”
“He said he wanted to take me out for our first date, but couldn’t wait any longer. He told me he didn’t want to waste any more time.”
“That’s disgustingly cute,” she chuckles, picking at her nails. “I’m happy for you, girl. I’ll admit I doubted him, but he seems like a good guy.”
“Yeah,” you smile to yourself, staring down at your freshly manicured nails, courtesy of Shoko’s steady hands. “He’s matured a lot over the last year.”
Your phone vibrates on the nightstand by Shoko’s side. She passes it to you, staring expectantly.
“He’s here,” you grin.
“Go have fun,” she matches your beam, giving you an encouraging hug as you both make your way out of your apartment, down the elevator towards the car parked out front. The engine is rumbling in the low evening light, though what really surprises you is the car itself. It’s not Toji’s, but Satoru’s.
You knew they’d grown to tolerate one another, but this goes beyond that. You’re happy to see it.
Catching movement out of the corner of his eye, Sukuna scrambles to sit up in the sports car, shoving his phone in his pocket and getting out of the driver’s seat. He wouldn’t generally classify himself as a gentleman, but when it comes to you, he won’t let you think his father raised anything less.
Stepping out into the still-warm air, he shoots a nod at Shoko as she heads for the bus, before fixating on you.
He swears in that moment that you’re an angel. Shades of pink settle among fluffy clouds overhead, hanging low in the sky. Their beauty pales in comparison to you, a soft pink tone dancing across your skin. Your dress accentuates your curves as though it was made for you, the bashful and eager gleam in your eyes sending his heart into his throat.
“Hi Kuna,” you greet your date, taking note of the fact that he almost seems to glow. He looks bulkier, healthier. Your eyes catch on the crimson silk tie that hangs from his neck. Just as you’d intended when you gifted it to him, his eyes shine when he wears it, especially with the black button-up and slacks he sports.
Or maybe they shine for another reason.
“Hey, Angel.” His voice is low, gravelly and breathy with a husky undertone. His eyes flicker across your figure, settling on your face. “You look… Fuck,” he chokes on words with a breathy laugh. “Gorgeous.”
As if his choice of pet name didn’t already knock the air straight from your lungs, the tone he uses when he compliments you nearly has your knees collapsing from under you. Diffidently, you bite your lip, averting your eyes down to the clutch in your hands.
Swallowing hard, Sukuna adjusts the watch on his wrist and closes the distance between you. The rough skin of his finger brushes your chin as he lifts your gaze. He’s kissed you before, yet it still feels like the first every time. He’s insistent as he seeks your lips, using the opportunity to guide you back towards the car. When his back hits the side of the vehicle, he drops his hands to your waist as his thumbs rub circles over the linen of your dress.
When you pull back for air, Sukuna clears his throat, though his tone still has a heady quality. “Didn’t have to get all dolled up for me, y’know.”
“I wanted to,” you shrug, “and you’re all dressed up anyway!” You insist with a bubbly giggle.
“Mm. Well, aren't I lucky?” He grins wolfishly, the kind that betrays that honeyed look in his eyes, giving away how equally eager he is. “C’mon, get in,” he insists, moving aside to open the passenger door and let you slip through.
“Such a romantic, Kuna.”
He smirks at your teasing, one shoulder lifting in a haphazard shrug. Making his way around the car, he puts the vehicle into drive. “Tryin’ to be,” he offers, a flicker of something you just barely miss hidden in crimson irises before you can acknowledge it. With one hand on the wheel, the other settles on your bare thigh, sending heat jolting through your form like a wildfire. It rages quicker than anyone could possibly put out.
You’ve seen Sukuna done up in nice clothes for a multitude of occasions, but between the scarlet tie, a thin gold chain tucked into his collar with a matching watch, and the warmth of his palm that he not-so-subtly wiped on his pants before settling on your thigh; this feels different. He looks nervous, sure, and his sweaty palm certainly betrays the look he tries to hide behind a pinched brow, but there’s a healthy lease on life that lingers within the way he moves with a bit more energy.
In spite of the way he taps the steering wheel as he pulls out of the lot, he seems more himself.
Like he’s finally allowing himself to pick up his pieces. They don’t fit the way they once did, but he finds a new arrangement for them. One with scars and gaps, but they make him stronger.
You can’t be certain if it’s first date nerves or something else, but something awkward settles in the air between you.
At least, Sukuna can sense it. He wonders if you can. Or maybe it’s the feelings of inadequacy he can’t seem to shake in the face of the one and only selfish thing he’s allowed himself the opportunity to pursue.
When you fall into easy conversation though, the tension dissolves, and Sukuna allows himself to breathe.
His spiralling thoughts will be the death of him.
“How’s Choso’s therapy been?”
Sukuna waves his head back and forth in a ‘so-so’ manner. “He’s getting there. School’s alright now, but he has a hard time with anything to do with leaving the house. Think he’s got it tied to Kaori pickin’ them up and can’t separate the two.”
“Is he okay right now?” You express your concern as you peer over at Sukuna, realizing that Sukuna is, in fact, gone right now.
He eyes you briefly before returning his attention to the road. “Yeah. Satoru’s there with ‘em,” he starts. You suppose that makes sense given the car. “His therapist wants us to work on leaving for short amounts of time where I give him an exact time I’ll be back.”
“So, twenty five minutes or something?”
His gaze flickers towards the clock. “Yeah. We may need to hang out for a little bit. She didn’t want me to be early, either.” He frowns. “My bad, princess.”
“Don’t be sorry,” you shake your head. “I’m just glad he’s making progress.”
Your date hums along in agreement. It’s clear there’s something on his mind, but he’s come a long way when it comes to communication. If he wants your thoughts, he’ll ask.
That, and the crowd of camera-laden reporters around his house seems like it’s of more importance at the moment.
“Are they here for you?” You breathe, wide-eyed as he pulls into a visitor stall further from the entrance of his apartment. He pulls his hand away to put the car in park, huffing at the sight of a full crowd of hungry reporters fiending for a story.
“Shit,” he huffs. “Can’t imagine a celebrity moved in recently,” he mutters, eyeing the damaged outer walls of the building that don’t exactly scream ‘celebrity’.
“How did more find you?”
You can physically see the gears turning in Sukuna’s mind as he goes over what could have happened, when they come to a sudden grinding halt. “Satoru. They must have followed him.” His grip on the gear shift tightens, his knuckles paling.
Reaching out, you offer a hand of comfort, brushing your thumb gently over his rough skin. He adjusts his jaw, suddenly conscious of the pain pulsing through the muscle as he grits his teeth.
“Fuck. I’m gonna need to look at new places sooner than I though. I just–” he rolls his eyes in frustration. “Dunno how I’ll keep them off my trail.”
“Maybe there’s like a legal path you can take or something.”
He snorts. “Appreciate the thought, princess, but if I never see a court room again, it’ll still be too soon.”
Inhaling quietly, you chuckle. “I don’t think anyone can blame you for that.” Squeezing his hand, you shrug as you offer another thought. “Just don’t give them anything. Eventually other stories will be more interesting.”
He shuts his eyes, nodding. “Guess you’re right,” he agrees. Spending a moment staring ahead and taking in the scene, he steels his resolve. “Hold on a sec,” he grunts, slowly unlatching the door so that he can slip out unnoticed. He keeps his movements slow, making his way to the back in search of something. He returns a moment later, shutting the trunk as quietly as he can manage and makes his way to your door. “C’mere,” he murmurs softly, offering a hand.
Draped over his arm is a hoodie, though you know it isn’t his. You can’t recall if you’ve ever seen your date wear a zip-up hoodie, let alone a blue one. Still, he cares more about keeping you out of the limelight as he slips it up over your shoulders, zipping it up and pulling the hood up over your head.
“My hair,” you frown, more to yourself than him.
A puff of air leaves his nose as he exhales. “You’ll live, princess,” he chides teasingly, softening as he lowers his head slightly. “You always look pretty, ‘kay?” Even as your heart does a little flip, he doesn’t wait for an answer, straightening as he locks the car and pulls you into his side. His grip is tight as his arm encircles you, fiddling with his keys.
Approaching the paparazzi, you dip your head, focusing on the burly man’s dress shoes as you’re met with an onslaught of invasive questions. Who you are, what Sukuna plans to do next, whether he thinks Kaori will return. Each one is another reminder of layers upon layers of stress that Sukuna is trying desperately to shed himself of, but the world has other ideas.
With a tap of a fob, he’s opening the door and letting you in ahead of him, shielding your body from the reporters. Seconds before the door closes, you just barely make out, “I thought that was Choso until I saw their legs.”
You gape in disbelief, whipping your head around on instinct at being mistaken for a child. Your date is still blocking you, snorting as he watches your reaction. “I don’t look like Choso!” You exclaim, meeting his gaze.
“You’re wearing a hoodie that has–” he pauses, staring down at the design on the back. “A Pokemon or something on it and you’re short,” he chuckles, a grin spread across handsome lips.
Groaning, you make your way up towards his apartment. “I’m wearing a dress,” you mumble.
“They couldn’t see your legs,” Sukuna shrugs. “I was blocking you.”
“I’m not even that short!”
Plopping a hand down atop your head, Sukuna chooses not to argue. At least, that’s what one might say were it not for the teasing lilt to his tone. “Mhm. ‘Course.”
Playfully shoving his bicep, he chuckles as he holds the door to his apartment open for you.
Of course, you weren’t expecting anything too fancy. After all, Choso still isn’t comfortable with Sukuna being gone long.
But you’re stunned into silence at the transformation his apartment has undergone. The TV and couch have been shoved aside in favor of moving the dining table to the center of the room. A bouquet of pink and white flowers sits next to a lit candle in the center of the table and you can’t make heads or tails whether that or something in the oven is what smells of vanilla.
The lights have been lowered in general, using the hall light to keep a modicum of illumination on the table, set with two plates and utensils. It’s otherwise practically spotless, outside of the kitchen itself, where Choso is tampering with food under Satoru’s supervision.
Your head swivels around to your date, lips pursed in disbelief as tears threaten your carefully applied makeup. He’s scowling, trying to read your reaction before you can even voice your thoughts. Even in the low light, you can make out the blush warming his cheeks, nerves apparent in the small shifts of his eyes as he examines you.
“If it’s too much, I–”
“This is so sweet.” You pout up at him, in disbelief that your hardened and mild friend is putting so much into romance. He never really struck you as the type, though you suppose he does look a bit out of his element right now. Still, it’s the thought and effort that mean more than you can ever say. “It’s perfect, Kuna.”
He lets out a breath, reaching forward to push the hood of your zip-up down. As though it’s an affront to him, his scowl deepens as he’s reminded that it isn’t his. “Take that shit off,” he grumbles with an envious timbre to his gravelly voice.
Chewing on your lower lip, you unzip it and slide it off of your shoulders, placing it in his outstretched hand. He huffs, pulling Satoru’s keys from his pocket as he turns towards the lanky man standing in his kitchen.
“Satoru,” he calls, tossing the sweater and keys in his direction before your friend’s even started turning in this direction. The fratboy still effortlessly catches it, grinning at the sight of you both.
“My sweater?”
“Don’t ask,” Sukuna hisses, devoid of any real heat, although there’s an obvious hint of jealousy laced within the fiber of his being that Satoru clearly picks up on. With raised brows, he just shrugs it off.
“Sweet. Well, nothing burned down. The little man’s just fixing up his outfit,” he points over his shoulder in the direction of the boys’ room. “Lemme know if you need anything else.”
Invidiousness fades in favor of something more genuine. “Thanks, Satoru.”
It’s still strange seeing them be all buddy-buddy. Even as they bump fists on Satoru’s way out, it’s hard to imagine that things flipped so easily. Regardless, it warms your heart.
“There’s a crowd out front as a heads’ up,” Sukuna warns, brushed off by a wave from the fratboy.
A clang draws your attention to the kitchen as you slip out of your heels, curiously watching as Choso sets a bowl down. His gaze flickers between you and Sukuna, unreadable when he settles on his older brother. When you search the eldest’s expression, you can’t make out what’s going through his mind either, but the little boy’s lips quirk into a small smile before he turns back to what he was doing, greeting you with a small “hi.”
Returning his quiet greeting, you give him a wave. The little boy quickly turns back to the kitchen to continue stirring something on the stove. About to move further into the apartment, Sukuna reaches out to gently tug you back. “Just… Wait a moment,” he chuckles, the blush on his cheeks deepening. It’s uncharacteristic for him, but cute as hell.
Sure enough, Yuji comes bounding back into the room in the tiniest little suit with a crooked black bowtie and slicked back hair. It takes everything in you not to coo at the sweet sight as it occurs to you what exactly is going on here.
When Yuji spots you, he’s quick to jog over to a piece of paper set atop the table and make his way over to you and Sukuna. “Hi! Welcome to, uh, the Itadori restaurant,” he waves his hand behind him. You raise a hand to cover your lips at just how sweet this whole ordeal is as Choso continues puttering around in the kitchen. “Come sit at your table!”
In (of course) typical restaurant host fashion, the little boy takes both your and Sukuna’s hands, guiding each of you to either side of the table. He drags each chair across the floor, presenting the spots eagerly before setting a menu in front of each of you.
“Thanks, Yu,” Sukuna grunts.
With a little frown, he shakes his head. “It’s sir!”
“Sure. Thanks, sir.”
He puffs his chest out proudly. “I’ll be back!” He proclaims, disappearing into the hall.
Giggling as the little boy disappears, you tilt your head at your date. “Kuna, this is so sweet.”
With a noncommittal noise, he glances back at his younger brother in the kitchen. It’s clear there’s something he wants to say over the ordeal, but he opts not to in front of the boy. “Glad you like it, princess.”
You knew from the start what being friends with Sukuna entailed, let alone dating him. He’s a package deal, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sukuna’s jaw unclenches as you embrace the unconventional date, grinning each time Yuji pokes his head around the corner, eagerly awaiting you to choose your meals. Which…
“You in the mood for mac and cheese?” Sukuna gruffs amusedly from across the table. You giggle, admiring the way the low light seems to sharpen his jaw.
“You know, I think I am,” you giggle.
“That’s good,” he hums, holding the flimsy paper menu written in crayon before him.
It’s a limited menu tonight, one could say. Your options? ‘Mac’, ‘Cheese’, and ‘Mac and Cheese’. Written in Yuji’s finest red crayon. The ex-history major won’t readily admit it, but it doesn’t just warm his heart, it melts it.
It all seems too good to be true. Seeing Choso peek back at him sheepishly while the pitter patter of Yuji’s steps can be heard from behind. You, dressed up in a gorgeous dress sitting across from him with a jovial grin.
He’ll admit this isn’t what he had in mind for a first date. Truthfully, he’d prefer to keep this particular side of his relationship with you to himself, but seeing you point to the mac and cheese on the menu as his little brother takes down your order with a big grin, he’s not too upset about this outcome.
When you look up expectantly at Sukuna to order, you catch him slumped forward on his fist, worn eyes staring at you. There’s a dazed fog clinging to his expression, accompanied by a little smile characteristic of him in little moments like these. The times where he’s able to relax and put his trust in you.
You match his smile, turning your attention back to Yuji. “He’ll have the mac and cheese too,” you murmur to the little host, who nods and runs to deliver the order to the kitchen as though Choso didn’t hear every single word.
Reaching across the table, you brush your fingers against the hand that isn’t folded under his cheek. His fingers twitch, instinctively finding a place intertwined with yours. “You seem happy,” you comment, soft and sultry as you admire the serene look on him.
He hums. “Guess I am.”
“You guess?” You tease, a sly grin spreading across glossed lips.
A puff of air leaves his nose, amused as he shakes his head. “I am,” he relents, gaze flickering towards Yuji to watch the little boy scamper across the apartment. Pools of cerise pinpoint you once more, fixing you with a surprisingly calm expression. “I am.” There’s more conviction this time, as though he isn’t just agreeing with you, but rather noticing it for himself for the first time.
It warms your heart in ways you can’t even begin to describe. It feels like the scene from The Grinch where the monster’s heart grows three sizes, only yours wasn’t small to begin with. Now you’re simply overflowing with adoration and glee, if your smile is anything to go off of.
“Feels like I’m supposed to be askin’ what you do for work or something,” Sukuna breaks the silence.
With a giggle, you shake your head. “Not much of a date guy, huh?”
He inhales slowly. “Never really had time,” he admits, reminding you subtly that he’s been a guardian since he was freshly eighteen.
“No better time than the present, right?”
He hums. “You know, it is kinda funny,” he begins. “I know your coffee order and work schedule n’ what you do for fun but I dunno your favorite animal.”
“Yeah, I guess we kinda skipped past that phase,” you laugh. “We went straight to trauma dumping.”
“Healthy,” Sukuna quips sarcastically, squeezing your hand when you laugh. “Still feel like I should know, though.”
You reply softly with your favorite animal, earning a hum on his part.
“Cute,” he gruffs. “I like tigers.” He sits upright, fiddling with a ring on his free hand. “Feels like I’ve known you a lifetime, you know.”
“Hopefully in a good way.” A hint of nerves are evident in the little chuckle that parts your lips.
He stares at you for a beat. The sharp gaze you’ve grown so familiar with has softened, showing you that side of Sukuna you seldom see. The version of him reserved for home. Not the kind of home where four walls surround him, but the kind that can only be found within a beating heart and pulsing blood.
Heat rises from the base of your neck to the tips of your ears. For once, you finally have the clarity to see what your friends have been seeing for so long. Seated across from you is a man who reveres your very existence, who stares at you like you hung the moon in the sky.
Because to him, you did. You’re not just a star like he once thought, you’re the whole damn galaxy. Brilliant and bright, and filled with color, and he’ll be damned if he can’t live in it. For once, he’ll be selfish. He can’t say he shines through the dark like you do, nor does he have the elegance or prosperity of a planet. He can’t even be sure that he has the drive of a comet barreling through the vacuum of space anymore.
Truth be told, he doesn’t know where he fits within your universe. But for once, he won’t cast himself aside. He’ll be selfish this time, he’ll seek his own happiness. But he won’t be dense, either. He knows. He knows now that he does belong somewhere within that universe, even if he has yet to put a name to the place. He’ll embrace whatever spot it is that he’s earned, for he’s not sure after everything he’s put you through why you stick by him. He’s not sure why you chose him or think he’s deserving of you.
But he considers himself the luckiest man on earth to sit across from you right now. He won't waste another chance.
“Yeah,” he breathes at last. “Yeah, in a good way.”
Unsure where exactly his mind’s at right now, you begin quizzing him on his favorite things– color, films, shows, books, music– anything that you just never quite got to know about him. He quizzes you in return, laughing as you admit that you’ve starting to grow fond of the move Ice Age.
“Even the second one?”
“Even the second one.”
“Shit. If that’s your taste in movies, we gotta work on that,” he slyly grins.
“Hey! It’s cute, and it’s like,” you gesture vaguely at the apartment, “sentimental.”
“Is it sentimental, or are you?”
Tilting your head from one side to the other, you shrug. “Bit of both.”
“Thought so,” Sukuna hums, though he’s distracted by his little brother poking his tongue out as he carefully carries a large bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese over to you first, then another to your date. It’s just as you taught the older Itadori to make it, bread crumbs sprinkled over the noodles.
The whole thing is beyond sweet.
“Enjoy!” Yuji grins, dragging Choso over to their room so they can eat their own bowls.
Chewing on your lower lip as the boys give you space, you barely suppress a huge grin. Once the boys are out of sight, Sukuna pushes to his feet, reaching into a top cabinet over the sink and pulling out a bottle of wine.
“We, uh–” he chuckles to himself at how scuffed this whole date is, insecurity creeping in that he has to brush aside. “We don’t have wine glasses, but–” he shrugs, holding the bottle out. “Figured it’d be nice. You want some?”
“Please.”
With wine in hand and your date before you, everything feels like a dream.
“Thanks for organizing this, Kuna. This is seriously so sweet.”
He sighs. “Glad you think so. It’s not exactly what I had in mind, but–” he clears his throat. “I didn’t wanna wait any longer. ‘M kinda hoping I’m done being a dumbass.” He pauses briefly. “About this– you– anyway.”
“You make it sound like you’re gonna be a dumbass about something else.”
He smirks as you cuss, even though you’re just repeating his words. “Oh yeah, I will. Just dunno what yet.” His smirk widens into a grin as you laugh, taking his first bite of mac and cheese. With raised brows, he nods his approval. “Shit, you taught the brat well.”
Nodding your agreement as you finish your first bite, you point a fork at the meal. “Has he ever told you why he wants to be a chef?”
The brute wracks his brain, but can’t recall if Choso ever did. “Don’t think so.”
“He told me that you used to make soup with him.”
Leaning back in his chair and scratching his chest, he distantly stares at the sliding door for the balcony. “Yeah, I did. It wasn’t anything fancy, but I used to make it outta whatever we had. Choso was…” he pauses, shrugging. “Eight or nine. He loved to dump the ingredients in, he’d get broth everywhere.” The smallest of frowns tugs insistently at his lips. “Things were okay when we cooked. Felt like we were a real family.”
“You are,” you point out, cocking your head curiously.
“I know. Didn’t feel like it back then, though. I didn’t make us feel like one.”
Finishing the bite of food you’ve just had, you lean back in your chair. “That’s in the past now, Kuna.”
He nods slowly with a long inhalation. Otherwise still, he seems to stare through you, as if deep in thought.
“The boys are doing so much better. They’re home, where they want to be.”
Another nod, another long inhalation. He knows you’re right, but guilt is a beast that lingers within. Insistently stuck like honey every step of the way. He’s not sure he’ll ever be rid of it, but it’s duller now in the presence of his family.
The two Itadoris carry their hearts on their sleeves. It’s easy enough to tell how they’re doing, and while Sukuna has clearly improved too, he’s a tougher read. Still guarded, even when he’s at ease. He knows only a world of keeping to himself and ensuring his brothers are taken care of. He so rarely thinks of himself at this point that he hardly knows to check in on himself.
“How are you doing, Kuna?”
He blinks, a crease between his brows as he stops to consider your question. He’s been so caught up on cleaning up after the storm that Kaori wrought that he hasn’t had time to think about himself. Somewhat stunned, he takes a moment to reply, his heart tugging at the sight of your head tilting in that cute little way that’s so you.
“Good. I’m good,” he replies with a scowl that you’re not quite sure even he believes.
“You don’t have to pretend around me, you know,” you point out, haphazardly waving your fork.
Another blink, the gears turning in his mind. “‘M not. Shit’s weird right now, but good. Kinda feels too good to be true,” he admits, quieter. Careful that his siblings don’t hear if they’re listening in.
If he’s being completely honest with himself, it’s nice to have someone look after him. It’s nice to have someone there for him when he’s always been the one providing. He supposes he’s had that for a while now, he just couldn’t accept that someone might do such a thing for him.
He was a fucking dick. He’s not sure that’s something he’ll ever rid himself of, he is a dick. He’s grumpy and rough around the edges and loses his temper when it counts the most. Endlessly putting the people he cares about the most in the middle of his fire.
You bump his heel, his long legs outstretched beneath the table. “I know what you’re doing,” you tease, although it’s soft. “Stop getting in your own head.”
His attention snaps back to you, pulled up from the depths before he can begin navigating them. “You know me so well.” With a lop-sided smile, he returns to his dinner.
“And yet I didn’t even know your favorite animal!” You retort. “Wait, is that why you got Yuji that tiger plushie?”
“In a way. That was mine.”
“That’s so cute,” you pout.
He rolls his eyes, amused. “Yeah, yeah.” He lowers his voice, glancing back to the hall where his brothers’ room resides. He can hear Yuji loudly cheering about something and continues. “Kaori got it for me when I was like twelve. I always thought it’d be nice for Yuji to have something from his mom, even if I thought she was a piece of shit. I don’t think he knows it was from her and just thinks it’s from me.” He reaches out his fork-free hand, curling his fingers around yours. His skin is rough, though his touch is soft, gentle. Always, with you. “I think it’s better that way, though.”
You share his silence, squeezing his fingers in agreement. “It’s weird to think that there was a time where she tried.”
“Oh, no,” Sukuna snorts, “she never did. The only thing she knew about me was that I liked tigers. She didn’t even ask me or give the gift in person. My dad gave me the gift. I don’t even think she wrapped it, just grabbed it.”
“God, she sucks,” you groan as you finish your dish. The sound of your fork hitting the bowl serves as a bell of sorts for your waiter, who you hear come barreling down the hall. As he arrives in the room, he slows to a casual gait, pretending he didn’t just dash down the hall.
“How was your food?”
Your date hums. “Great, thanks Yu.”
“It’s ‘sir’!” He insists with a little pout as Sukuna pushes his bowl to the edge of the table.
“‘M not calling you ‘sir’ every time.”
“I’m giving you no stars!”
Sukuna’s brow furrows as Yuji pads away with his bowl. “You don’t rate your guests, brat.”
“Watch me!”
With a dramatic roll of his eyes, the eldest brother watches as you indulge his little brother's wishes, thanking your host with a ‘sir’ as he takes your own dish. “You spoil him.”
“He’s had a long few months,” you shrug. “And he’s too cute,” you add, lowering your voice as you peer over your shoulder to watch the too-short boy dump your dishes in the sink before asking if he can get you anything else.
“We’re good, sir,” Sukuna begrudgingly growls, devoid of any real irritation. “Go play with Cho. Let him know dinner was good.”
“‘Kay!” In a flurry of pink hair, Sukuna’s tiny clone disappears back around the corner en route to his room.
Sukuna lets out a breath, clearly eager for a semblance of real time alone with you. Getting to his feet, he slides his chair around the table, shoulder-to-shoulder with you. His voice is like gravel when he speaks again, lowered for only you to hear as it grates against his throat.
“Thanks,” he gruffs, “for comin’ here for our first date, and lettin’ them be a part of it.”
“I told you, it’s sweet,” you insist.
“I know, I–” he sighs, shutting his eyes and leaning his head into yours. “It’s not just that. Means a lot that you put up with my shit.” The air stills briefly. You can hear him swallow a lump in his throat. “If I pull somethin’ stupid on you again, don’t let me get away with it.” He lifts his head, staring down at you with sincerity that baffles you.
“You know I forgive you for everything that happened, right?” You query, a knit between your brows.
He hums. “I know.” You’re too sweet to him. “Doesn’t change what I did. Don’t put up with my shit if I pull something like that again. Promise me.”
Your lips press into a thin line as you stare at him, a protest on the tip of your tongue. You bite it back, only because you know he’ll double down, taking another approach until he gets the response he wants. “I’m not keeping track of things like that, Sukuna. You don’t ‘owe’ me anything,” you begin, making silent quotations in the air with your fingers as he stares down at you from where he towers beside you. “We can’t build the foundation of a relationship on keeping track of mistakes. Besides,” you perk up a bit, “will you do anything like that again?”
He shakes his head adamantly without an ounce of hesitation. “Fuck no.”
Setting your hand on his chest, you let your fingers curl around the silken red tie that hangs from his neck. “Then we have nothing to worry about.” It only takes a little sheepish tug and shining eyes for him to kiss you.
A corded forearm moves to the back of your chair, the other keeping you firmly pressed to him when he deepens it. “Too fuckin’ good to me,” he mutters between kisses. He doesn’t let you break the kiss to reply as his tongue swipes across your lower lip to seek entrance.
He tastes cheesy, a thought that makes you smile inadvertently, but it's his smell that invades your senses. It’s intoxicating, the woodsy scent of his cologne dancing in tandem with the typical musk of Sukuna. Your fingers rest over his pulse, racing. It’s good to know you have the same effect on him as he has on you.
“What’s got ya all smiley?” Your date grunts as he pulls back, smug when he’s sure you’ll say him.
“When did things change for you?”
His expression shifts, subtle. “What do you mean?”
You’re certain he knows exactly what you mean, that he’s playing a thinly veiled game of avoiding the question. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell you, but rather that words have never been his strong suit, and that’s a subject– hell, a story– that he doesn’t know how to divulge.
But there’s been enough avoidance between you that you just want an honest answer. “Your feelings.”
He sighs, sitting upright. Fingers toy with the fabric of your dress, bunching it up at your hip as he deliberates. “That month that we didn’t talk,” he begins, quietly examining your expression. “The kids missed you. A lot. They were always askin’ for you. Guess you know that, though.”
They (or, Sukuna, you suppose), did send a lot of emails. “Did they miss me, or did you?” You tease as your lips quirk up.
He lets out a breathy chuckle. “We all did. It was a wake up call that I took you for granted. It was hard to manage things with work and the kids and the lawsuit.”
You let the thought hang between you for a moment, drawing little circles on his chest. He leans back down to capture your lips, frowning when a splayed hand on his chest stops him. You might even say he’s pouting based on the matching pull of his brow. “I missed you too, you know.” That softens his expression quickly. “It sucked. I basically told you I liked you during our argument and,” you shrug, “you were one of my best friends. I spent so much time around you that it was weird trying to figure out what to do without you.”
He sighs, moving his hand from the back of your chair to scratch at his five o’clock shadow. “Fuck,” he mutters. “Yeah, I didn’t realize that you confessed. I was talking to Uraume about it later and they pointed out that it sounded like you did.” The lump in his throat bobs idly as he stares out into the darkening sky in the window beyond. “Guess it wouldn’t have really mattered anyway with the way things worked out.”
“Wait, you knew I confessed?”
“Yeah, I just figured the feelings were gone.”
Practically in disbelief at this point, you shake your head. “I know we hadn’t seen one another, but… Why?” You were so obvious.
He shrugs, able to smile over the ordeal now that you’re happily within his arms. “I’m a dumbass.”
Your laughter is like a song, soothing his nerves as he leans back in again. Closing the distance, he swallows the melody with his tongue. The cotton of your dress bunched between his fingers flattens as his large palm engulfs your waist, the pads of his fingers squeezing with enough strength to send his need like a shock straight to your core. Shifting from the back of the chair, his fingers brush the nape of your neck, testing the waters before his hand settles on your skin. With his thumb brushing your jaw, he tilts your head back to deepen the kiss.
Every piece of him is electric, from his taste to his smell and the feeling of his hands gripping you as though he can’t get enough. There’s a fiery ache between your thighs that has your brain stuck on the way you feel slotted against him in his strong grip.
For a moment, you’re taken to another world. Heaven.
But you’re quickly reminded you’re in Sukuna’s kitchen.
“Ewww!”
The scowl on Sukuna’s face is unmatched as he fixes his little brother with an unimpressed glare. “Dinner’s over, sir. I just drew a bunch o’ shit for you, go color.”
Yuji pouts in tandem with a colossal glower that could match even Sukuna’s.
“Wonder where he gets that from,” you murmur under your breath with a grin.
Sukuna’s palm moves from the back of your neck to cup your lips, muffling your laughter as Yuji proclaims that he wants to watch a movie.
“We can watch one tomorrow,” Sukuna dismisses the little boy.
“I don’t wanna watch one tomorrow, I wanna watch one now!” He stomps a foot dramatically, pointing at the TV that’s pushed into a corner as though it might turn on at his beck and call.
“Yuji,” Sukuna warns, clearly doing what he can to hold back his irritation, although it slips through the cracks.
“I already finished coloring, I wanna watch How to Train Your Dragon!” He protests without hesitation, pushing his older brother’s buttons.
Sukuna is many things. Patient isn’t one of them.
“You’re not gonna get what you want by acting like a brat,” he hisses, lowering his arms from around you as he gets to his feet. “We talked about this earlier, you promised to be good.”
There’s a wobble to Yuji’s lip as he stares up at his towering older brother. “I am good,” he whines, sucking in a harsh breath as the flood gates begin to crumble. Peering past Sukuna and Yuji, you can just barely make out Choso’s figure watching from the corner where the hall meets the main living space.
“Then go back to your room like you promised, Yu.”
As tears gather on his lash line and the situation grows dangerously close to a breakdown, you slip into the conversation beside Sukuna, settling a hand on his bicep when you spot the knot in his jaw. He shifts it as though it might ease the tension rippling through his muscles, but it does little to soothe his frustrations.
Sensing that something beyond Yuji simply wanting to watch a movie is going on, you decide to step in. Slipping in front of your date, you lean over, closer to Yuji’s height. “You said you finished all of your coloring, Yuji?”
He nods, though his gaze flickers away. “Yeah. All of the Sonic ones.”
Sukuna huffs behind you, clearly privy to something that you aren’t.
“So there are ones that aren’t Sonic?”
He kicks a foot out, his little bowtie slightly askew as he juts a lip out while staring at the ground. “Yeah.”
“So why did you lie then, honey?”
He’s silent as he continues kicking at imaginary pebbles by his feet. After a beat of silence, his shoulders lift and fall, avoidant of your gaze.
The little boy’s always been a troublemaker, but he’s also a good kid. You’re willing to bet there’s a reason he’s outright lying to you about something that doesn’t matter one bit. Couple that with the fact that he’s been unwilling to share and you can guess where this new tendency came from.
“I don’t know,” he mutters, still avoidant of your gaze.
You glance back at Sukuna, who’s noticed Choso as well, distracted by the sight of his middle brother lingering at the edge of the scene.
“You know,” you return your attention back to Yuji, “when something is bothering Choso, it helps him to talk about it.”
He stops his movements, staring earnestly at you. “I can’t.”
A purse of your lips. “Why can’t you?”
“Because I talk too much.”
A blink, long and slow. “Who told you that?”
“Mr. Kamo.”
White hot rage. You feel it burning in the six foot eleven brute behind you before you even cast him a glance. His fists ball at his sides, lips curling into a furious snarl directed at a man you hope to never see again.
You straighten slightly at the revelation, wondering if these little outbursts the boy’s been having are all connected to comments from Noritoshi and Kaori. There’s a lesson in trusting adults somewhere within Noritoshi’s venomous teachings, but you’re not sure where to begin in a way that makes sense to a five-year-old.
Unfortunately, with all the eloquence he can muster up, Sukuna beats you to it.
“That fucking asshole,” he hisses.
Which is to say there’s a complete and utter lack of eloquence.
Before the boy can mimic Sukuna’s words, you shoot your date an insistent look and kneel back down. “Noritoshi Kamo is a mean person and he’s wrong,” you begin. It’s clear that Yuji agrees from the little nod he gives you. Chewing on your lip, you briefly consider your words, careful what you present to the five-year-old. “Not every adult is right about everything, you know.”
“Really?”
“Mhmm. Sometimes we still make mistakes, and sometimes we just don’t know everything.”
Shifting in front of you, the little boy takes a step forward.
“It’s important that you listen to the people around you, but if anyone ever tells you something and deep down you feel like it’s wrong, you should trust that feeling. It’s called intuition.”
“In-too-shun.”
“Intuition,” you correct him with a sweet smile. “It’s that feeling in your chest when something doesn’t feel right.”
There’s a downward tilt to his eyebrows as he processes what you’re saying. His gaze is distant, as though he’s thinking through his time with Noritoshi and Kaori, and times where things didn’t feel right.
“I think I have that now.”
Your brow raises, at a loss for what the hell that means.
“You think you have what?”
“In-too-shun.”
Stifling a laugh, you slip down onto your knees to sit on the floor in front of him. “And what’s your intuition telling you?”
He peers up at you, pulling at your heart strings as he fiddles with his fingers. You can hear sirens blaring distantly outside, but they fade as quickly as they begin. “That I’m scared.”
Your amusement drops in place of concern as he takes another step towards you. “Why are you scared, honey?”
He continues to fiddle with his fingers as he twists to look behind him. Choso is still stagnant at the corner, his expression unreadable. When Yuji twists back towards you, he beckons you closer as though he has a secret to tell you. Leaning forward, you move your ear close so he can whisper to you, cupping his hands around his mouth.
“Um– Choso doesn’t like being without Kuna and um–” he pauses, pulling back as though he’s checking that the brunette can’t hear him. “I’m afraid if we spend too much time in our room, then he’ll cry again.”
Your heart snaps into a million tiny little pieces, scattering across the floor as the little boy confesses that he’s willingly taking the fall in order to keep an eye out for his older brother. Something all three of them seem to have a habit of. It’s sweet, but entirely heartbreaking.
“Did he seem unhappy?” You whisper back.
“Um– No, but–” he cuts himself off with a shrug.
Nodding, you take a deep breath to center yourself and put on a smile. “You’re a good brother, Yuji.”
His eyes shine as he meets your gaze.
“Why don’t you and Choso go get ready for bed, and once you’re ready, maybe we can work something out, okay?”
He nods, something between eagerness and genuine concern alight within deep auburn irises. The little boy just about jogs off before turning back to give you a quick hug, tugging on Choso’s shirt as he drags his brother back to their room.
Sukuna seethes as he stands tall behind you. His chest rises and falls heavily with each breath, the creases in his forehead bringing you the worry that they might become permanent given his tendency to scowl.
Resting your hands on his chest draws his attention as you slide them up to his cheeks, cupping his face. If there’s one thing you know well when it comes to Sukuna, it’s the kind of comfort he needs. Brushing your thumbs over his cheeks, a smile finds its way to your face as you feel his jaw unclench in your hold.
“It’s in the past, Kuna. All we can do now is reassure him, but they can’t hurt him or Cho anymore.”
He lets out a breath, heavy as he leans down into your grasp, a hand coming to rest over one of yours. Those sharp crimson eyes are still alight with fury as he fixes his stare on you, but it’s lowered to a simmer, and you’re certain you can put it out.
“You’re doing a good job with them,” you assure him, watching as the flame flickers. “Your lawyer covered your bases, you don’t need to worry.” Giving him a beat to settle, you let your thumbs brush over weathered skin, the scar under his right eye barely protruding from his skin any longer.
Seeing him now, you can’t help but consider how far he’s come. There was no outburst from any of the brothers. No tears, no wailing. Sukuna’s frustration with Yuji never boiled over. It stayed steady before disappearing, or maybe morphing into something else as you managed to get him to talk through his emotions.
They’re getting somewhere. All of them are, because they care. They’re all still learning to navigate life, trying to figure out where they’ve come from and where they’re going, but they’re all taking the past into account. You can see Sukuna’s growth in the way that although he still sucks with words and comfort, he’s willing to fumble his way through the fog in an effort to be what his brothers need.
Though you think the real growth is held within the fact that he’s trying to be someone not only you and his brothers can be proud of, but he, too, can.
With one last brush over the scar beneath his eye, you slide your fingers back through his hair and pull him down by the neck.
You can taste his gratitude in the way he melts into your embrace, shifting quickly from relaxation to something much more heated. His fists loosen as his palms settle on your waist with an intense grip, allowing him to deepen the kiss right where he’d left off.
He swallows your gasp when he spins you suddenly. The backs of your thighs hit the table as he smoothly slides his grip down to your ass, lifting you with ease onto the wooden surface. Your chest surges with lust, pulse racing as he leans over you. His fingers slide up your spine, slow and sensual but laced with the immense need he feels.
Before things can get too far given the near-outburst that only just happened, you try to pull back, but Sukuna is insistent with a hum of disapproval.
You giggle into the kiss, hand on his chest to stop him before your need grows.
In his case, literally.
Exasperated, a puff of air leaves his nose as he glances back towards the hall. He mutters a curse under his breath, pulling back as he tries to compose himself as though you weren’t a bit too late pulling back, on his part. He adjusts the crotch of his pants, his shirt riding up as it’s pulled from his waistband to give you a look at the band of his boxers peeking out.
Slutty.
“Keep starin’ and I’m gonna have to lock myself in my damn room while,” he grumbles, a faint hint of blush dusting the apples of his cheeks. With a breath, he sets his palms atop your thighs and leans down to be closer to your height. “What’d the kid say to you?”
“He’s worried about Cho,” you breathe, drawing little circles over the rough skin of your date’s knuckles. “He said he didn’t seem unhappy now, but he was afraid that if they spent too long away from you, Choso might cry.”
With a drawn out inhale, Sukuna leans his head into the crook of your neck. His breath fans over your back, sending a shiver up your spine as he seeks your warmth. “Right. Okay,” he mutters, remaining still in your embrace.
Slipping your arms up around him, you run your nails over his scalp in gentle back and forth motions, your fingers mussing his hair at the base. He couldn’t care less if his hair gets disheveled when the feeling has his eyes fluttering shut as he relishes in the tranquility of the moment.
“You’re a goddamn angel,” he mutters, though it’s completely unintelligible.
“Hm?” You tilt your head to get a better look at him.
“Don’t worry about it, angel,” he murmurs, kissing your neck as he stands up. The flustered expression on your face when it comes to sexual intimacy and teasing never fails to make him smirk. “So, I guess we’re watching How to Train Your Dragon, huh?”
“Guess so,” you agree.
“At least I won’t be compared to a fuckin’ mammoth this time.”
“No, but your brother might compare you to the main character.”
“I’m nothing like him,” he retorts.
“Yuji’s got a very overactive imagination though,” you tease as you make your way towards the TV to pop the disc in the player and drag it and the couch back in place. Sukuna leaves to calm down a bit before checking on his little brothers, being led by the hand by little Yuji a few minutes later. With his little tiger plush nestled between his arm and side, he plops himself down on the couch between Sukuna and Choso, trying to maneuver Sukuna’s arm so that he can cuddle into the eldest brother.
With a mischievous snort, the brute lets his arm go fully limp, forcing Yuji to use all his might to lift up his sibling’s bulky forearm. “Kunaaa!” He whines, pouting as he’s forced to take a different approach, instead slipping beneath the limb once he’s lifted it enough. “There.”
Sukuna’s chest visibly rumbles, amusement woven within cerise irises. Once his little brother has settled, he holds his other arm up as you hit play on the DVD, staring expectantly at you.
Tucking yourself under his arm, you pull your knees up to rest on his thigh and lean into his chest. His arm secures around you, resting over your hip as he pulls you close. With Yuji and Choso piled under his other arm, the possibility of a future without them feels like a distant memory. His worries slip like droplets down his skin, whisked away as he’s able to relax into the cushions, glancing warmly from side to side.
It’s domestic as hell. It feels so far out of his wheelhouse with how much he’s fumbled the last several years, but it’s finally becoming familiar.
Homely. The kind of feeling he’d be happy to wake up to every morning and return to every night.
You shift in his arms, peering up at him from under your lashes.
The night wasn’t what he’d hoped for, neither plan A, B, or C if he’s being honest with himself. But truthfully? He thinks he likes Plan D anyway. For as frustrated as he is that he can’t get you alone and take you on the date that you deserve, this feels like a taste of a future that isn’t so bitter and filled with long nights of unrest.
Settling back into the cushions, he gives your hip an affectionate squeeze before focusing on the movie.
It doesn’t come as a shock that Yuji passes out as the moon rises higher in the night sky. It casts a tranquil glow across the wall behind the TV, bathing you in its gentle embrace. It’s as if even mother nature is enjoying the peace.
Choso, weary-eyed, watches without comment as Sukuna slips away when the movie ends with the younger Itadori softly snoring in his arms. The young boy waits a beat after his brothers disappear, yawning before turning to face you. “Thank you,” he murmurs quietly, lethargic as sleep threatens him to the bone.
“What for, honey?”
He straightens, his gaze flickering from the shelf of movies to the TV and down to his feet. He kicks them out in front of him listlessly, fiddling with the material of his pajama pants. “Um– I know Kuna really wanted to take you out for dinner.” His brow furrows as he searches for a way to explain himself, but you jump in first.
“Tonight was perfect, Cho. You’re a great chef.”
He scarcely moves, but there’s a tug on his lips as his eyes slide towards you. “Really?”
“Oh yeah,” you agree, smiling. “I’d say you learned from the best.”
His shoulders shake as he quietly chuckles at your comment, until he breaks out into a genuine laugh, grinning down at the ground. “You spend too much time with Kuna. You sound like him.”
You wrinkle your nose playfully. “Can’t have that now, can we?”
A click of the tongue from the edge of the room has Choso sputtering as he tries to contain his laughter. He hides his face from his older brother’s unimpressed glare, but the disdain in his expression falls quickly at the realization that Choso is laughing again.
His shoulders fall to his sides, shock written in the widened whites of his eyes.
“Why don’t you go get some sleep?”
Choso nods quietly, yawning as though his body is in agreement. Hopping from the couch, he pads over to you for a hug. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Choso.”
On his way to his room, he throws his arms around his older brother too, who ruffles his hair. “Goodnight, Kuna.”
“Night, Cho. Good job on dinner.”
His disbelief remains staunchly on his face as he watches the little boy close the door to his room behind him. At last, relief washes over him. Everything in his body decompresses as the soft glow of the TV and moon envelop you on either side.
He moves towards you with that weary expression he tends to embody, the one that never truly leaves his bones, masked with aloofness. His movements are slow as his knees sink into the cushions on either side of you, his hands caging you in as they settle on the back of the couch. If he were any smaller, you wager a bet he might collapse on top of you, but you’re pretty sure he’d crush you given the size difference.
Still, he does lower himself enough that he’s half-embracing you, and half… well, laying on you anyway. Tired, but lighter than usual. Wrapping your arms over his shoulders, you pull him in closer, enjoying the moment to yourselves.
“Don’t think I’ve seen him laugh in months,” he grunts, smiling against your hair when he flips you both so that you’re laid out on top of him, earning a surprised yelp.
Situating yourself and brushing your dress down, you nod your agreement. “I know things aren’t perfect, but you all seem a lot happier.” Pressing a finger pointedly into his chest, you add, “you included.”
“I am.” The smile he dons is contented and easygoing, nothing but warmth swirling within the pools of sanguine staring down at you, lidded. “Would be nice to get a chance to talk to you without needing to look over my shoulder for two brats, though.”
“Quit calling them brats,” you give him a playful shove to the chest, though your smile betrays you.
“They’re brats. I call it like I see it. You are too.”
“I am not!” You feign offense.
“You are.”
“And neither are they!”
“They definitely are. Yuji compared me to a fucking dragon.”
Giggling, you fiddle with the collar of his shirt. “I don’t know, I mean a dragon’s pretty cool.” In spite of Sukuna’s dramaticism as he huffs, he doesn’t protest this time. “I think he just sees you in the things around him. You’re his hero, you know.”
He drags a hand down his jaw, a parasite nipping at the pit of his stomach with the reminder that he feels undeserving. “Yeah. ‘Course.” Blinking as he turns his attention back to you, he can see you reading his expression. He knows you can make out the parasite, the unbidden creature eating away at him, so he speaks up before you can. “Night’s still young. We’ve still got wine. You wanna stay for a bit?”
“I’d love to, Kuna.”
He smirks. “I got the wine. Meet you in my room.”
It doesn’t feel so much like intruding, being in his room these days. More like an invitation to a deeper part of him. You make your way past his drafting table, parsing the art atop it. It seems as though it’s mostly related to work, which doesn’t come as a shock, though there are a number of sketches that are clearly for the kids, or at least Yuji.
Slipping your fingers from the edge of the table, you make your way to the edge of the bed, peering at a stack of Blu-rays piled on the nightstand. They’re mostly horror. You recognize a handful of the films, though one sticks out to you. Pulling it out from the stack, you stare at a yellow and orange cover with a massive spider on it. Tarantula! is sprawled across the cover in cheesy font, and when you flip it over, the film seems to be in black and white.
You recognize the cover from one of Sukuna’s hoodies, so you figure it must be one he particularly enjoys.
His steps aren’t too far behind you as he pulls the door shut behind him with wine and two glasses in-hand. “Whatcha got, princess?”
“Is this one of your favorites?” You query, holding up the cover for him. He squints slightly, smirking once he makes out what you’re holding. “It’s a good one. Cheesy as hell, in a good way.” He takes a seat beside you, setting down a glass while he pours wine in the other one. “They just let a tarantula run around in a bunch of miniatures. Kinda loses the scare factor when you look at it that way.”
“That sounds kinda fun,” you muse, looking over the back of the case.
He shrugs, setting down the first glass as he fills the second. “Here,” he hands you the glass, setting the bottle beside the stack of blue cases.
“Could we watch it?”
He peers up at you, a brow raised. “You want to?”
“Yeah.” Sipping on the wine as though it might steady your nerves instantly, you peer up at him from under your lashes. “I wanna know more about the things you like.”
He freezes midway through reaching for his wine, blinking. His heart palpates in his chest as a saying runs through his mind. To be seen is to be heard. If such a thing is true, then he feels adored right now. It’s not something he’s accustomed to, but he could get used to it.
His mouth is dry as he clears his throat, reaching for the glass he just poured himself. “Yeah,” he agrees, downing more alcohol. “If you want.” With another swig of wine downed, he sets the glass aside. “We’ll need to watch it on my laptop though, don’t wanna wake the kids.”
“Sounds cozy,” you hop to your feet, grabbing his laptop and setting it on the bed. Sukuna offers you a change of clothes, sure to specify that you look gorgeous, but he’s not sure how comfy dresses are. Taking up his offer, you get changed in the washroom into a familiar Metallica shirt and a pair of sweats, fixing your makeup in the mirror.
As you stand back to look over your appearance, it occurs to you just how lucky you are to be so comfortable around Sukuna. Under any other circumstances, you surely would be nervously checking your appearance and politely sitting with crossed legs and letting Sukuna take the lead within his own home. Glancing down at the toothbrush he bought you that’s still sticking out beside yours, you find yourself smiling over how happy this makes you.
How happy he makes you.
No wonder your cheeks hurt.
Padding back into his room, he’s stretching his arms overhead as he rolls his shoulders out, laying back on his bed with his laptop on his legs. A too-tight muscle shirt clings to his pecs, gray sweats adorning his lower half like he knows what they do to you. His gaze flickers up to you, the slow expansion of his pupils not lost on you at the sight of you in his clothes. Only now he doesn’t need to hide just how much he loves that sight.
“C’mere,” he murmurs, lifting the covers for you to crawl in beside him.
Before he can hit play as you cuddle into his side, curled up so perfectly against him that he swears you were bestowed into his life by an angel, you pipe up.
“Thanks, Kuna. Tonight’s been really special.”
He shifts to get a better look at you. “You don’t mind our date bein’ unconventional?”
“You’re a package deal.” You worry your lip between your teeth as you peer up at him. “And I happen to like the whole package.”
He raises a brow at you, smirking. “Cheeky girl,” he comments slyly. “Once Cho’s comfortable though, I still wanna take you out. Give you a real date.”
“Stop calling this date fake.” With a little shove to his side with your shoulder, you get your point across. “I appreciate that you opened up a bit earlier, though. It’s nice to know where your head’s at, honestly.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, well– I owe you a lot more than what I gave you, but I’m tryin’ to be careful what I say around the kids.”
“No rush,” you lean into him further, your eyes fluttering shut briefly at the feeling of his grip on your waist tightening. “I’m happy with the way things are, we can go at our own pace. I’m not going anywhere if you’re not.”
He hums, and although words aren’t his strongest suit, you know he’s content when he sets the laptop aside briefly to pull you into his lap. He sets the laptop back atop your thighs, arms enveloping you in his ardor as his chin rests on your shoulder.
“Ready?”
As the movie plays, you find yourself giggling at the use of puppets and what may as well be nature documentary footage. Given the year the film was made, it makes sense, but it certainly takes any fear factor out of the movie.
It shouldn’t surprise you that Sukuna struggles to keep his hands still with you finally tucked into his chest. Even as you query about what a character said through the crackly old audio, his hands don’t pause as they slide from your waist to your hips and settle on either side of your thighs. His palms encompass so much of your legs that the mere thought sends heat from the base of your neck to the tips of your ears.
As if that wasn’t enough, the warmth of his breath cascades into the collar of the loose Metallica shirt hanging from your shoulders, bathing you in warmth that feels all-encompassing. It’s not stifling though, it’s welcome, sitting somewhere between a warm hug and the kind of intoxicating sensation you want to chase. His arms are strong and secure around you, but the way his touch wanders is downright exhilarating.
The brute may be known for having a tough shell to crack, but truth be told he’s an easy book to read once you get through the first barrier. It’s not hard to tell that he’s hungry for the feeling of your skin. Both because he continually runs his hands up and down your thighs, dipping beneath the shirt’s hem to your bare waist, and one far more obvious answer that’s pressed against your ass right now.
Craning your neck to look at him, you find lidded eyes staring back at you, sultry as they are tired. With your attention on him, he slides his hands up to your waist again. Dipping his fingers beneath the elastic waistband of the sweats you borrowed (which are already yours, if he’s being honest with himself), he rubs small circles into your hips.
His voice is gritty with lust, and deepened with sleep. “You drive me crazy.”
“In a good way?” You press, earning a low grunt as you maneuver your ass back against his hardened boner.
“Always,” he agrees, shifting to lean his forehead into your shoulder. “But I get the feeling you know that.”
You can’t help the mischievous giggle that escapes as he breathes a heavy sigh out. It’s nice to know that you can fluster the ever-cocky Ryomen Sukuna given that one shift in dynamics would have you heating up from head to toe. You’re almost surprised he hasn’t pursued anything, a thought that brings out nasty insecurities. You’re grateful that his face is buried in your neck at that moment, unable to make out the nerves plastered across your face.
The sensation has you adjusting in his lap again, searching for wordless comfort.
“Princess.” There’s an edge to his tone that’s dangerous. As though one wrong move might awaken something dormant.
“Mhm?”
“‘M trying to be a gentleman on our first date,” he mumbles into your shoulder.
It’s sweet. Painfully so, both in the way that it eases your nerves and the adoration swirling in his eyes when he shifts to face you again. “Kunaaa,” you breathe, a little pout crossing your lips.
He shuts his eyes tight at the sound of your breathy sigh. “Not helping,” he grumbles, clearing his throat.
“Sorry,” you giggle sweetly, hitting the pause button and setting the laptop aside so that you can get a better look at him. Every shift of your hips has him blinking like he’s seeing god trying to keep an ounce of self control as his head rises from your shoulder. “I, um–” he stares quizzically as you pause. “I want it– this– too, you know.”
His lip twitches upwards. There’s the cocky bastard you know. “Shit, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearin’ that,” he chuckles, breathy. “But I uh–” He scowls, avoidantly finding the wall more interesting than you all of a sudden. “I want our first time to be special. Not that this moment isn’t, just…” he shrugs, “y’know. The house to ourselves, a night out first.” He shrugs again.
“You know, you’re pretty romantic when you want to be,” you murmur, cupping his jaw. He leans into the sensation, huffing indignantly.
“Tell that to my dick,” he scoffs, cut off by his own chuckle when you laugh. He lets the moment ride out, watching your eyes flutter open and shine as you regard him. It makes him feel human again. Not like the machine he once considered himself, working every waking hour to make sure his brothers were cared for. He’s alive. It took a metaphorical slap in the face to accept that life isn’t always out to get him and he could have avoided that fate, but that’s the thing about being alive.
You learn.
And he’d like to think he’s better for it.
But it’s still not enough.
Because you deserve the best. He’s not sure he can live up to that, but he’ll try damn hard.
“You deserve romantic, though.” He shrugs, pivoting his head to kiss your palm. He can already hear your protest as your lips part, eyes softening. That he’s enough, that you don’t need anything special, that you knew what you were getting into, that he doesn’t owe you anything. But that’s a tough pill to swallow when he’s spent the last few years living as a shadow of a man and put you through that as well. “Please.”
It’s rare for your date to reason with so much conviction, so you give him a little nod. “Okay,” you relent softly, twisting in his lap further to kiss him.
“You gotta stop moving your hips though,” he groans against your lips.
“Sorry!”
Pulling the laptop back to your lap, you can’t tell who the remaining forty minutes of the movie are harder for. You, or him. He may be physically hard, but you can’t feel bad for him when he’s making you squirm.
His hands remain on the waistband for a couple of minutes before gliding up your body beneath your shirt, exploring as though everything he said moments ago has flown out the window, but he never quite follows through with anything. Like a cruel game of teasing he’s set up for both of you now, the bottoms of his thumbs brushing your lacey bra.
Every minute shift in his breathing can be felt as it fans across your skin. Each hitch, each heavy exhale. They all settle across your skin like dew over grass in the early morning. Like frost, it sends shivers up your spine in spite of the heat that gathers between your thighs.
Gripping the blankets over your lap, you can hardly sit still as his hands travel back down to your thighs. Despite the barrier of sweatpants, the heat of his palms sears your skin as he kneads and squeezes the plush of your thighs. As though he wasn’t the one who asked you to sit still only a few minutes ago, you can’t help the way you squirm when his fingers linger on your inner thighs.
“Kuna,” you breathe, an air of lust to your timbre that he can’t get enough of. His head tilts, lips brushing your pulse point.
He hums, a mischievous lilt to his tone.
With his intentions made clear, you clutch the blankets tighter. “Tease.”
Another hum. Your breath hitches as his lips begin working their way in a slow cadence down to the sensitive skin at the crook of your neck. In spite of your protests, you still tilt your head to give him better access. With parted lips, a broken sigh permeates the air.
“Put the laptop on the nightstand,” he murmurs, the vibration of his voice– deep and gritty– against your skin driving you wild. As you follow his lead, he maneuvers you to sit on his lap. He’s still painfully hard, his restraint barely held together by glue and tape. With your knees on either side of his thighs, it occurs to you that Sukuna is a big guy.
And that extends to all parts of him.
The thought has your skin alight– with lust and nerves.
But he doesn’t give your mind any time to wander when he’s kissing you like the damn world depends on it. The way they collide with yours, his hands dragging through your hair and over your spine, there’s a note of desperation within his actions. As though he’s committing a sin and fears he’s on his final plea.
But there’s something else, too, hidden under the fervor of his actions. A tremble, just barely noticeable, in the tips of his fingers as they slip beneath the shirt– his– hanging from your shoulders.
“Are you okay?” Your words come out piece by piece, peppered between kisses.
“Hm?” He’s barely paying attention, caught up on the taste of fermented grape on your tongue.
You pull back a hair, cupping his face to keep his attention. “You’re shaking.”
He blinks, processing your words. Flexing his fingers behind you, he pulls them away to get a look at them himself. “Shit,” he dryly mutters.
Concerned, you shake your head. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”
With a disdainful tilt of your head and fall of your shoulders, you breathe an exasperated, “Sukuna.”
He flexes his fingers again, then pushes them back through his mussed hair. “I think it’s withdrawal.”
You blink, focusing on the tremor of his fingers on your waist. Even at his worst, you’re pretty sure he didn’t drink enough for it to be alcohol. Not to mention you had wine earlier. “Nicotine?” He nods. “You quit?” You query with raised brows.
Another nod. In spite of his grimace as withdrawal symptoms hit, he seems veritably at ease. “It’s not hitting you too hard?”
“Not yet,” he sighs. “I only just quit today. I could only ever afford one or two a day so I think this is just the start.”
Sliding your hands back from his cheeks to the nape of his neck, your fingers thread through the short strands there. “Can I help with the symptoms at all?”
He shifts forward, capturing your lips with a simper that doesn’t let up. “Just gotta get my fix.”
“That’s so cheesy,” you groan into his shoulder, laughter spurred on by the rumble of his chest beneath you.
“Yeah, but I figured you’d get a kick out of it.”
Your chest swells as you pull back to find him grinning at you, genuinely. The fading dark circles beneath his eyes do little to dull the stars shining within crimson aurora.
“I’ll be alright,” he assures you, squeezing your waist. “I, uh–” his gaze travels to the ceiling, in a circle and back down to the photo of him and the kids with his father sitting atop his dresser. “I can’t let everyone down again. You n’ Uraume were right to get on my ass about it.”
“I still didn’t go about it the right way. I’m sorry about that.”
“That shit wasn’t your fault.”
“I still shouldn’t have made assumptions.”
His chest rises and falls, the air between you heavy as you address your argument from a few months ago. “Thanks.” It comes out as a grumble, unintentionally.
As much as he does appreciate your apology, he blames himself heavily for the outcome of that night. He doesn’t really know how to voice his disdain for his own stupidity, nor does he know how much he even should address it when together you’ve come so far. Then there’s the fact that he knows you’ll tell him not to worry or apologize or something of the sort because even through all of his growth, you’re still too sweet for him.
Not addressing it feels equally wrong, even if he’s fumbling for words. “‘M still an asshole for that, by the way. Everything I said and did.”
“Kuna, it’s not–”
He kisses you to stop you from making his misgivings into anything less than what they are. “It is. Just accept the apology, princess.”
It’s not exactly an apology in the traditional sense, but you suppose it is for him. “Okay,” you murmur with a lingering kiss to his forehead, “thank you. And– I’m really proud of you.”
He huffs, the whole moment a little too sappy for a brute like him as warmth blooms under your lips. He may be opening up to you more these days, but he can only tolerate so much of that gooey feeling in his chest. “Alright, alright. Enough with the sappy shit. Let’s finish the movie.”
You giggle at his avoidance of all things sentimental and vulnerable, careful as you twist back around in his lap now that he’s finally not hard so that you can finish the movie. For as much as you try though, it’s nearing midnight and you’ve spent so much time cramming for finals that your body is betraying you.
Try as you might, you can only fight off sleep for so long in the sanctity of your crush’s arms. In and out as the actors scream over the blown up footage of a tiny tarantula, your world slows as sleep cradles you.
Sukuna’s crimson gaze is warm as he regards you, asleep in his arms. It’s all that gives away how he really feels as he quietly looks over your features, otherwise neutral. It feels too good to be true after everything he put you through to be the one holding you tight. As though he shouldn’t be the one to provide your security when he’s hurt you.
He knows better. He knows life isn’t black and white like that. You’ve told him that this is what you want and the rational part of him chooses to believe you and put his trust in you.
It’s the nasty feelings of inadequacy that still get to him. However much he tries to uproot it, it always seems to come back like a weed. Spreading and growing further over his heart and mind.
His brow furrows as he considers the fact that it’s venomous thoughts like these that caused him to hurt you in the first place.
Sukuna isn’t scared of much, but when it comes to you and the kids, just about every roadblock feels like the potential of a fissure opening up and swallowing him whole.
And when so much of his life revolves around you three, it leaves him feeling painfully powerless. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, to accept that he’s only human. That he can’t always be the proud and independent man he presents himself as. It fills him with fire. It burns with every lick of its smoldering tongue, but it fuels him too.
He supposes it’s why he wants to do better.
His fingers curl into the plush of your waist, shutting his eyes as he indulges in the moment of peace. He focuses on the sounds of your soft breaths in an effort to pull himself from an ocean of thoughts he isn’t prepared to face, letting out a breath as he locks away his concerns for the time being.
He contemplates waking you to give you the option to go home, but you’ve stayed the night enough that he’s confident enough that you’ll opt to stay anyway, he’ll just take the couch. As it stands, your toothbrush became a permanent addition to his house so long ago that you already live here as far as he’s concerned.
Then there’s also the matter of the journalists that could still be outside, for all he knows.
Moving with as much delicacy as someone of his stature can, he sets his laptop aside and adjusts you in his lap so that he can loop an arm beneath your knees, the other supporting your upper body. Standing upright, he settles you back down where he was sitting, pulling the covers up over your body.
He moves around the room as he cleans up for the night, checking in on his brothers before lingering beside the lamp in his room. The back of his fingers brush your skin briefly as he stands bedside. Swallowing hard as the room goes dark, he pads quietly back out to the couch to turn in for the night.
–
Kaori’s faux kindness.
Noritoshi’s idle glares.
Your tears.
His breathing picks up.
Choso’s silence.
Yuji’s cries.
The bottom of a bottle.
He gasps, flinging himself upright in a cold sweat as his sharpened crimson gaze adjusts to the low light of the early morning hours. It takes his mind a moment to catch up that he’s awake, that it’s a nightmare.
Just a nightmare.
… Right?
The idea of remaining quiet in the dead of night is thrown to the wall as he travels the familiar length of the apartment, swinging the door to his brothers’ room open. He blinks at the low moonlight washing in through the window, bathing the space in a blue so soft that one would think nothing could ever hurt the two kids both still sound asleep.
But his mind is still racing, and while swinging their door open and shutting it in a few mere moments may not wake his brothers who are long used to Sukuna puttering around at night, you sure aren’t accustomed to that.
Well, and his door squeaks.
You jolt beneath the covers as you’re alerted awake by his sudden appearance.
“Kuna?” You cautiously call out, disoriented by your sudden awakening.
“Princess?”
Sitting upright, you rub at your bleary eyes, trying to make sense of your surroundings. When your vision straightens and you’re able to make out more than just a shadow, you take in the state of the room, his room. You don’t remember falling asleep, but based on the state of the blankets beside you, he must’ve been on the couch. Curiously doing a once-over of him, it becomes increasingly clear that he’s breathing hard.
“Are you alright?” Your voice is still thick with sleep as the blankets fall to your waist.
The sight of all three of you safely within reach helps settle his heartrate, though he’s still somewhat shaken and disoriented himself. “Yeah,” he breathes, his timbre equally raspy, “yeah.”
Rubbing the corner of your eye, you glance at the clock. Three in the morning. “What happened?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep.”
Even deliriously weary, you recognize his avoidance anywhere. “Come here,” you murmur, lifting the covers to your side. He lingers in the doorway for a moment before accepting your offer, shutting the door behind him. He settles into the spot beside you, letting his guard down as you scoot closer when he sits against the backboard.
Your fingers curling into the thin material of his muscle shirt is a comfort like no other. Grounding him in the assurance that this is real. He’s not in some sort of perpetual nightmare where he’ll find all three of you gone, finding the meaning for himself in the saying ‘misery loves company’.
You hide a yawn in his chest, eyes shut as you lean all of your weight into him. “What’s wrong?”
In spite of your languid movements and dozy drawl, he’s confident you’re still listening. “Just… got in my head about shit.”
You yawn again, your breath warm as it weaves into the cotton over his chest. “Nightmare?”
A beat, then– “yeah.”
Your eyes flicker open. With saccharine irises staring up at him, the imbalance in his breathing steadies. Even with smeared makeup that he’s sure you’ll pout at him about in the morning, you still look like an angel.
“What was it about?”
There’s something intimate in seeing you this way. He supposes having earned so much of your trust and adoration is a part of it, but there’s something to be said about sharing a vulnerable moment like this with one another, both half-asleep. Caught in-between the world of the waking and that of the dreaming, you tend to see another side of people. One where walls don’t exist and thought comes second.
It leaves him feeling exposed in a way that goes beyond just sharing vulnerabilities. With you, though, he doesn’t feel the need to turn his nose at the mere thought. It’s as though you’re within a pocket of time all your own– just the two of you.
His arms encircle your middle, letting out a breath as he lowers his face to the crown of your head. His words are muffled by your hair as he speaks, a low grit to his already raspy voice. “Just woke up thinkin’ the last month was a dream.”
Your mind works an extra moment to figure out what he means. “Getting the kids back?”
His chest rises and falls heavily. “You and them.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” you drowsily mumble into his chest. “Your brothers are safe, too. I promise it was just a dream. Did you check on them, too?”
“Mhm.”
You push up on his chest in an effort to lean up and leave a sweet kiss on his throat. He grunts, running his thumb up and down your waist in a silent reply.
“I’m here,” you murmur again in assurance, followed shortly by another yawn. “Why don’t you stay?”
“You sure?”
“Mhmmmmm,” you hum with a sweet little drawl that allows him a little slice of peace. “Then if you wake up again, I’ll be here and you’ll know it was a dream.”
He has no way of knowing whether or not you can read him like that and just know this isn’t the first time he’s woken up this way, but he welcomes the kind of care you harbor for him. And just as he doesn’t let go of you as he slips down onto the pillow, he won’t let go of this feeling, either.
He’s pretty sure you pass out again before your head even hits the pillow. He pulls you closer, tucking your back into his chest. He slips a leg between yours, the weight of your limb soothing him closer to the depths his body seeks. As his breathing falls into pace with yours, his mind sheds itself of the night’s thorns and allows him to sink into a restful silence.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
❦ a/n ; hi :') it's been a while, i'm sorry for the wait and i hope it was worth it <33 i burnt out pretty hard in november and have been slowly working writing back into my life and finding joy in it again. i think i've finally hit a stride with motivation though, which has been so nice to find again.
thank you so much for all the love and support over the last couple of months, it's definitely helped me work through a lot of the burnout and motivate me and i'm so glad to finally be back.
everyone is heaaaling and kuna is a sap at heart and writing those really tender moments is so precious to me <33 i have big plans for the next chapter that i can't wait to share and i'm expecting it to be loooong so please look forward to that!!
happy holidays to those who celebrate, and i appreciate each and every one of you <33 ty all for sticking with me 🫶
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
synopsis : satoru gojo’s life is a meticulously curated empire of protein shakes, gym selfies, and the unwavering adoration of six million followers. he’s got it all down to a science, a perfect balance of macros and influence that’s starting to feel just a little empty. but when a late-night scroll leads him to your quiet corner of the internet, everything changes. it’s not about your face—he’s never seen it. it’s about your hands, steady and dusted with flour, and your voice, a warm, patient hum that makes him forget all about his post-workout cardio. suddenly, the man who prides himself on control finds himself completely obsessed with a baker who offers something sweeter and far more dangerous than any cheat meal: a little bit of peace.
or: he could break the internet with a single photo, but he’s about to risk it all for a girl who accidentally liked his post one time.
wc ࣪— 39k ִֶָ☾. tags -> f!reader, plot with porn, influencer au, modern setting, fluff, humor, banter, slow burn, food as a love language, mutual pining, eventual smut, sexual tension, making out, food play, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, praise kink, marking, satoru goes feral, unsafe sex, rough sex, size kink, it won’t fit trope, breeding kink, creampie, aftercare, domestic fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, marriage proposal, wedding fluff, happy ending
athy says, hi my lovies, i'm looking at my follower count and i genuinely can't believe we've hit 9k before this little blog of mine is even six months old. thank you, from the bottom of my heart. this fic has been simmering away in my drafts for what feels like an eternity, and i wanted to dedicate it to all of you as a thank you. it's super soft, a little cheesy, and hopefully the perfect thing to curl up with. i hope you all enjoy it!! ♡(ӦvӦ。)
satoru gojo has never needed hashtags to break the internet.
he knows this the same way he knows his post-workout selfies could fund a small country’s economy, the same way he knows that the gym mirror loves him more than his own mother ever did.
so when he drops his phone against his sweat-dampened chest and angles it just right—shadows cutting across the landscape of muscle he’s carved with religious devotion, that mess of hair catching the fluorescent light like spun moonlight, eyes the color of winter storms narrowed in that signature smirk—he doesn’t bother with captions longer than “cardio day.”
six million followers don’t need context. they need salvation, and apparently, he’s their god.
the likes pour in before he’s even toweled off. comments that would make his grandmother clutch her pearls, fire emojis that could melt antarctica, marriage proposals in seven languages. satoru scrolls through them with the bored satisfaction of someone who’s never had to wonder if he’s attractive, clocking the trending status of his latest flex, watching the numbers climb.
after a few minutes of basking in the chaos he just unleashed—thousands of girls twisting in their sheets, thirsting themselves half to death—he flicks over to reels. it’s a casual, almost lazy motion, like a king turning away from the adoration of his court once he’s had his fill.
his reels are the usual rotation: endless loops of protein shake hacks, questionable “science-backed” mobility drills, and gym bros flexing in worse lighting than his bathroom mirror. sometimes a cooking video sneaks in—grilled chicken recipes that look like punishment meals, pre-workout snacks no sane person would enjoy, the occasional steak sizzling on cast iron just enough to hold his attention. mindless fuel, background noise for someone who already knows he looks better than half the influencers trying to sell him their macros.
but then, the algorithm, in its infinite, mysterious wisdom, does that thing where it thinks it knows him better than he knows himself, and suddenly his screen fills with something entirely different. no thirst, no desperation, no familiar symphony of validation.
just hands.
soft, capable hands dusted with flour, moving with the kind of precision that makes his chest do something weird and unfamiliar. the voice accompanying them flows like honey over warm bread, explaining the mysteries of chocolate tempering with the patience of someone who actually gives a damn about their craft.
“temperature control is everything,” you’re saying, and satoru finds himself leaning closer to his phone screen like an idiot. your hands work magic he doesn’t understand—folding, smoothing, creating something beautiful from nothing. there’s flour scattered across your black apron like stars, and he realizes he’s been holding his breath. “too hot and you’ll seize the chocolate. too cold and it won’t temper properly. you want that perfect balance.”
perfect balance. right. satoru gojo, who can bench twice his body weight and has never met a macronutrient he couldn’t calculate in his sleep, suddenly feels like he doesn’t understand balance at all.
he’s three videos deep before his brain catches up to his thumbs. your username—why.en_bakes—sits at the top of each video like a riddle he wants to solve. faceless content creator, obviously skilled, voice that could talk him through a panic attack or into one, depending on the circumstances.
his trainer would have an aneurysm if he knew satoru was mentally calculating the caloric content of buttercream roses at eleven pm.
his trainer doesn’t have to know.
meanwhile, you’re having your own crisis three hundred miles away, curled up in bed with your phone balanced precariously on your chest. you’ve been mindlessly scrolling through instagram, the kind of late-night brain rot that makes you question your life choices and wonder why you’re not asleep like a normal person.
the dm notification pops up from @squatoru—and there’s that little blue checkmark that makes your stomach drop because verified accounts usually mean one of two things: actual celebrities or influencers hunting for free stuff.
squatoru: hey, your hands are so steady, i’m pretty sure you could perform surgery. on my heart, maybe? kidding. mostly. anyway, the real question: do you take custom orders, or am i doomed to just drool over your perfect pastries through ig reels tutorials forever? my cardio needs a reward ;)
you frown, tapping on his profile with the kind of skepticism reserved for men who slide into dms and politicians. probably another influencer looking for free pastries in exchange for exposure. you’ve seen this song and dance before, and your content is specifically designed to avoid this—just your hands, your voice, and your pastries. no face, no personal details, no invitation for this kind of attention.
except his profile loads, and the image that fills your screen is so utterly, aggressively stunning that your breath hitches. your eyes go wide, wider than any pastry plate you’ve ever presented, and you feel a ridiculous, old-fashioned flush creep up your neck. like a victorian gentleman accidentally stumbling upon an exposed ankle, but instead of an ankle, it’s an eight-pack, a smirk, and eyes that could unravel your very soul.
you swallow, hard, your mind temporarily short-circuiting at the sheer, unapologetic perfection. the phone, balanced precariously on your chest, finally loses its grip as your hands instinctively clench in shock, and it falls. with a sickening thud, it smacks directly into your face, the impact rattling your teeth and, far worse, triggering an accidental double-tap right on his latest thirst trap. specifically, right on his absurdly defined abs.
because @squatoru isn’t just any influencer.
he’s all sharp angles and casual arrogance, the kind of beautiful that makes you question whether humans are supposed to look like that or if someone’s been editing reality behind your back. his hair defies every law of physics and good sense, standing up in ways that should look ridiculous but instead look like he’s been personally blessed by some very attractive gods. and his eyes—they’re not just blue, they’re the kind of blue that makes you forget other colors exist, like someone liquefied lightning and poured it into his irises just to see what would happen.
the worst part? he knows exactly what he looks like.
every photo is a carefully constructed masterpiece of casual perfection. gym selfies that belong in museums, mirror shots that probably crash servers, candid photos that are about as candid as a hollywood red carpet. he’s the kind of beautiful that makes normal people feel like potatoes, and he’s just casually sliding into your dms like it’s tuesday.
the little heart icon fills with red, mocking you. you immediately know you’ve made a mistake of astronomical proportions, a digital crime scene of embarrassment. you don’t even look at this kind of content. your algorithm is carefully curated chaos of baking tutorials, cat videos, and the occasional pottery reel.
you wouldn’t know a thirst trap if it personally introduced itself and asked for your number. but apparently, it just did, and you just liked it.
your phone buzzes almost instantly.
squatoru: oh, saw that 😉 figured you wouldn’t be able to resist. it’s okay, my content’s usually pretty captivating. consider yourself caught admiring the view.
you scramble upright, nearly launching your phone across the room in your panic. your heart is doing something between a tango and a cardiac episode, and you’re pretty sure you’re about to die of embarrassment in your own bed, which seems like a particularly pathetic way to go. you wince, rubbing your nose where the phone left a red mark.
why.en_bakes: it was an accident. my phone slipped. literally. it just smacked me.
the response comes back quicker than you’d like, quicker than gives you time to construct proper emotional barriers or remember how to breathe like a normal person.
squatoru: suuuure it did. 😉 a very convenient slip. but hey, thanks for the unintentional validation. speaking of irresistible things... i’ve actually been genuinely obsessed with your videos. that chocolate work? absolutely insane. like, i’m genuinely curious about trying your stuff in person. my cheat day budget just went up.
he’s been watching your videos. this man, human equivalent of a renaissance sculpture, is obsessed with your chocolate work? you, who usually only gets comments from sweet grandmas and fellow bakers, are suddenly being eyed by the thirst trap god himself. you stare at the message until the words blur together, trying to process this information like a computer that’s been asked to run software from the future.
why.en_bakes: well, the cafe info is on my profile if you’re actually serious. we’re open from 8-6 tuesday to saturday. no freebies.
because you’re not about to make this easy for him. you’ve built a whole business on not making things easy, on the radical concept that good pastries require effort and patience and maybe a little suffering. if this man wants to waltz into your world with his perfect face and his ridiculous hair, he can follow the same rules as everyone else.
squatoru: oh, trust me, cupcake. i’m serious about good desserts. and good conversation. and maybe a few other things. consider me booked. see you soon.
cupcake.
he called you cupcake, and something in your stomach does a little flip that has absolutely nothing to do with the leftover anxiety from accidentally liking his photo and everything to do with the way that familiar, sweet word, usually piped with buttercream and sold by the dozen, suddenly tasted personal, a secret, delicious indulgence meant just for you.
satoru, meanwhile, is having his own moment of amused contemplation in his ridiculously expensive apartment, a smirk playing on his lips as he stares at his phone. because here’s the thing that’s currently piquing his interest in a way almost nothing else does: you don’t know who he is.
not in the way everyone else does, anyway. you’re not sliding into his dms with marriage proposals or asking him to promote your skincare routine. you’re not breathless with excitement or falling over yourself to impress him. you claimed you liked his photo by accident—a blatant, adorable fib, if your mortified response was anything to go by. you immediately tried to take it back like it was a mistake, but satoru knew better. people didn’t accidentally double-tap his abs. they just got shy when they were caught.
when was the last time someone feigned indifference to his attention?
he can’t remember, and that bothers him more than it should. he’s so used to being wanted, expected, demanded, that your casual dismissal, even if it was just an act of shyness, feels like a puzzle he needs to solve. you’re talented and professional and seemingly unimpressed by the fact that he exists, and something about that makes him want to try harder than he’s tried at anything that didn’t involve weights or protein shakes.
plus, there’s your voice. that soft, warm tone that guided him through chocolate tempering like you were sharing secrets, like you actually cared whether he understood the difference between seeding and tabling methods.
that night, he replayed your videos more times than he’d admit to anyone, and each time he notices something new—the careful way you handle delicate pastry, the little satisfied hum when something turns out perfectly, the genuine enthusiasm when you explain why certain techniques matter.
which is how satoru gojo, influencer extraordinaire and professional beautiful person, finds himself googling the address of a bakery at midnight like some kind of carb-obsessed stalker.
your cafe isn’t far from his gym. isn’t that convenient.
he screenshots the address and adds it to his calendar with the kind of focus usually reserved for competition prep, already planning his route and calculating what time he’ll need to leave to avoid the morning rush but still catch you during business hours.
because apparently, satoru gojo has stumbled upon a new obsession—someone who makes croissants for a living and couldn’t care less about his follower count, pretending she didn't just like his gym selfie.
his trainer is definitely going to have that aneurysm.
he timed it perfectly—after the morning rush had thinned and the café’s cheerful hum had settled into something softer. strategic timing, really. fewer distractions meant more of your attention, and satoru gojo had never been one to settle for scraps when he could have the whole meal.
the bell above the door chimed, small and unassuming, almost absurdly inadequate for the entrance that followed. satoru filled the doorway like gravity had personally rearranged itself around him, a quality white tee draping effortlessly over shoulders that looked like they’d been carved by someone with a personal vendetta against moderation, hinting at the landscape of muscle beneath. well-cut dark cargo pants, practical yet stylish, hung casually on powerful legs that could probably crush watermelons, and his hair—that impossible mess of silver-white strands—caught the morning light like it was showing off.
he walked in with the kind of confidence that made people forget what they were saying mid-sentence. calculated but effortless, the way predators moved when they weren’t particularly hungry but enjoyed the hunt anyway.
you recognized him instantly, and the mortifying memory of that accidental double-tap crashed through your mind like a wrecking ball made of pure embarrassment. heat threatened to crawl up your neck, but you shoved it down with the kind of ruthless efficiency that came from years of dealing with difficult customers and even more difficult ovens.
“welcome to flour & sugar,” you said, voice carefully steady as you finished wiping down the espresso machine. your movements were precise, controlled, the kind of calm that came from having your hands busy while your brain short-circuited. he caught the swift dart of your eyes, the way they met his for a fraction of a second before skittering away, and a slow, knowing amusement bloomed in his chest. oh, you were definitely lying. “what can i get for you today?”
but satoru wasn’t listening to your carefully rehearsed greeting. he was too busy having what could only be described as a religious experience with your display case.
“jesus christ,” he breathed, and those storm-glass eyes went wide as they tracked across the pastries like he was cataloging treasures. his hands pressed against the cool glass, long fingers splaying as he leaned in closer. “is that—are those pain au chocolat actually laminated properly or are you just trying to make me cry?”
the croissants sat in perfect golden rows, their surfaces glossy and flaked to mathematical precision. next to them, danish pastries spiraled with fruit preserves that caught the light like stained glass windows. chocolate éclairs lined up like soldiers, their choux pastry shells piped so perfectly they looked machine-made, topped with ganache so mirror-smooth it reflected the café’s warm lighting.
“showing off, obviously,” you replied, corners of your mouth threatening to betray you with something dangerously close to a smile. your fingers found the edge of your flour-dusted black apron, smoothing it down in a gesture that was becoming embarrassingly predictable. “we just brush regular croissants with chocolate syrup and hope no one notices.”
that earned you a bark of laughter, bright and genuine and so unexpected it made something flutter in your chest like a bird trying to escape. his whole face transformed when he laughed—the careful perfection cracking open to reveal something warmer underneath.
“oh, you’re trouble,” he said, grinning as he straightened up from the display case. ran one hand through that gravity-defying hair, messing it up in a way that somehow made it look better. the motion caused the soft fabric of the white tee to subtly shift and stretch over his chest and shoulder, a brief, undeniable testament to the power beneath, and he noticed you noticed. his grin widened almost imperceptibly. yeah, you definitely hadn’t liked his photo by ‘accident’. “i can tell already. so what’s your best ‘i’m definitely going to regret this later but it’ll be worth every minute’ option today?”
“the chocolate tart is popular,” you said, gesturing toward where it sat in solitary splendor—a perfect circle of temptation with ganache so dark it looked like liquid sin. “our kouign-amann sells out by noon.” you pointed to the golden, layered pastries that looked like edible architecture. “and if you’re feeling particularly self-destructive, the salted caramel éclair has a cult following.”
“dangerous recommendations,” he mused, those impossible eyes still cataloging every curve and swirl of your handiwork. his gaze lingered on the fruit tarts, their pastry cream bases topped with berries arranged like tiny works of art, then moved to the cinnamon rolls that spiraled with mathematical precision, their surfaces glazed to perfection.
he was quiet for a moment, just looking, and something in his expression shifted. softer somehow, like he was seeing more than just pastries behind the glass.
“what about you?” he asked finally, those winter-storm eyes finding yours. “what would you eat if calories didn’t exist and your trainer wasn’t going to lecture you about macros tomorrow?”
the question caught you completely off guard. most customers just wanted their order taken, not actual conversation, not genuine curiosity about your preferences. your hands stilled on the apron, suddenly aware of how he was looking at you—really looking, like your answer mattered.
“oh, definitely the chocolate tart,” you said, and a sudden, unexpected spark lit up in your eyes. you leaned forward just a fraction, your voice gaining a soft, enthusiastic edge. “it’s not just chocolate, you know? we use a blend of valrhona guanaja for that deep, almost bitter cocoa base, but then there’s a hint of madagascar vanilla bean in the custard, just enough to bring out the sweetness without making it cloying. and the crust—it’s a sable breton, a really buttery, shortbread-like texture that just crumbles perfectly. it’s about the balance, the way the intensity of the chocolate plays with the richness of the butter and the delicate snap of the shell. it’s… everything.”
you finished with a quiet, almost breathless sigh, a small flush on your cheeks from the sheer passion of your explanation. you hadn’t even realized you were practically lecturing him until you saw the look on his face.
something flickered across his face then, a slow dawning of satisfaction mixed with a captivating curiosity. his eyes, usually so sharp and teasing, were softened, fixed entirely on you. he hadn’t understood half the technical terms, but he’d understood the passion, the genuine love that radiated from you when you talked about your craft. that, he realized, was even more intoxicating than the thought of the tart itself.
“sold,” he declared, his voice a low, pleased rumble. “one chocolate tart for me. and—” he paused, head tilting as he studied the menu board behind you. “matcha latte. extra sweet, if you don’t mind. gotta balance out all that virtue somehow.”
the way he said it, low and curious, made your pulse skip in a way that had nothing to do with caffeine. “mr. gojo—”
“just satoru,” he interrupted, and that easy smile turned softer somehow, more genuine. leaned against the counter on his forearms, bringing himself closer to your eye level. the sleeve of his white tee shifted, briefly revealing the impressive curve of his powerful biceps, practically begging for your gaze, and you felt that familiar, involuntary tightening in your throat again. he was far too aware of the space between you, of the way the air thrummed with unspoken things. “i’d prefer it if you called me satoru. ‘mr. gojo’ makes me sound like my father, and trust me, that’s not the vibe we’re going for here.”
heat crept up your neck despite every attempt at professional composure. he was close enough that you could smell his cologne—something clean and expensive that probably cost more than your monthly ingredient budget—mixed with the faintest hint of lingering workout endorphins.
“satoru, then,” you managed, fingers finding the register keys with muscle memory while your brain tried to process the way he smiled when you said his name. “find a seat anywhere you’d like. i’ll call you when it’s ready.”
he pushed back from the counter with fluid grace, all loose-limbed confidence and predatory satisfaction. chose the corner table by the window—of course he did—prime real estate for people-watching and and, more importantly, you-watching. settled into the chair like he owned not just the seat but the entire building, phone out but screen dark, attention fixed entirely on your workspace.
you tried to ignore the weight of his stare as you moved through your routine, but it was like trying to ignore sunlight streaming through windows. persistent, warm, impossible to escape. steamed milk for his matcha latte, the bright green powder swirling into pale foam like liquid jade, sweetened just enough to match his request for extra sugar.
selected his tart from the display case with the reverence it deserved, the chocolate ganache mirror-smooth and perfect, reflecting the café’s warm lighting like dark water.
“order for satoru,” you called, and watched him unfold from the chair with that fluid grace that made ordinary movements look choreographed.
“that was fast,” he said, accepting the small plate and cup. his fingers brushed yours for just a moment—warm, callused from whatever weights he threw around when he wasn’t terrorizing bakeries. “efficient.”
“i try not to keep people waiting.” the words came out steadier than you felt, professional smile firmly in place even as your skin tingled where he’d touched it.
“and here i was hoping you’d take your time,” he replied, that insufferable smirk back in full force. tilted his head just enough to catch your eye, silver hair falling across his forehead in a way that should’ve looked accidental but absolutely wasn’t. “guess i’ll just have to savor this extra slowly to make up for it.”
back at his table, satoru lifted the fork like he was about to perform delicate surgery. cut into the tart with surgical precision, watched the ganache yield to reveal the perfect custard beneath, dark chocolate giving way to pale cream in a contrast that made his mouth water before he’d even tasted it.
the first bite rewired something fundamental in his brain.
it wasn’t just the flavor—though that was devastating enough, rich and balanced and absolutely perfect. it was the memory that came with it, sudden and overwhelming. his grandmother’s kitchen on sunday mornings, flour handprints on her faded apron, the smell of butter and vanilla thick in the air like incense in a church dedicated to sugar and love.
he’d been a chubby kid back then, all round cheeks and soft edges before growth spurts and gym obsessions carved him into something else entirely. back when sweetness meant safety, when dessert wasn’t the enemy but the reward for scraped knees and hard days and just existing in a world that sometimes felt too big and too scary.
this tart tasted like coming home to a place he’d forgotten existed.
he tried to eat it slowly, really tried. wanted to analyze the flavor profile, identify the techniques, make it last. but his body had other plans entirely. each bite melted on his tongue like a prayer answered, and before he knew it the plate was empty and he was staring at the evidence of his complete lack of self-control.
worth every single burpee he’d have to do tomorrow. worth twice that many.
he pulled out his phone, angled it to catch the crumb-scattered plate in afternoon light. typed out “found heaven” with thumbs that were steadier than they had any right to be, tagged the location, posted it to his story without a second thought.
let his trainer try to explain that one.
when he looked up, you were watching him from behind the counter, expression carefully neutral but eyes curious. caught in the act of caring whether he’d enjoyed it, whether your work had lived up to whatever expectations he’d built in his head.
“verdict?” you called across the space between you, voice carrying just the tiniest hint of genuine interest beneath the professional politeness.
“devastating,” he called back, not bothering to hide his grin or the way he gestured to the empty plate like it was evidence in a criminal trial. “absolutely devastating. i’m going to have to come back tomorrow just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.”
“tomorrow’s monday. we’re closed.” the correction came automatically, but there was something softer in your voice now, the professional mask slipping just enough to let real personality peek through.
“then tuesday,” he said without missing a beat, standing up with that fluid grace and reaching for his wallet. “and probably wednesday. thursday’s looking pretty likely too.”
you ducked your head, but not before he caught the small smile you were trying to hide. watched you wipe your hands on that flour-dusted apron in the nervous gesture he was already learning to catalog alongside all your other tells.
“same time tuesday, then,” you said, like you were discussing the weather instead of planning his return to the scene of his carbohydrate crime.
“wouldn’t miss it, cupcake,” he replied, dropping a twenty on the counter for a twelve-dollar order and heading for the door before you could argue about the change.
he walked out into afternoon sunshine already calculating how many extra miles he’d need to run to justify coming back in two days.
spoiler alert: he was coming back regardless, and you both knew it.
the cafe, which once felt like a carefully controlled universe of flour and sugar, now had a new gravitational pull. satoru gojo had become a regular. not just a customer, but a fixture, like the espresso machine or the perpetually overflowing tips jar.
except this fixture came with perfectly tousled hair and a smile that could probably power half the city.
tuesday morning, 10:47 am. the bell chimed and there he was, silver hair catching the morning light like he’d been personally blessed by some very aesthetic gods. today’s ensemble: a loose knit sweater that somehow managed to look both cozy and criminally expensive, draped across shoulders that belonged in a renaissance sculpture exhibit.
he approached the counter with that easy confidence, long fingers already drumming against the glass as those winter-storm eyes conducted some kind of pastry reconnaissance mission.
“just making sure the integrity of your laminated dough hasn’t... suffered since yesterday, cupcake,” he said, leaning against the counter like he’d been doing it his whole life. the casual way he invaded your space should have been annoying. instead, it made something flutter stupidly in your chest.
you barely suppressed an eye roll, busying yourself with restocking napkins because your hands needed something to do that wasn’t embarrassing. “my laminated dough is doing just fine, satoru.”
“is it though?” he tilted his head, hair falling across his forehead in a way that was definitely not accidental, studying a pain au chocolat like it held state secrets. “because that one right there looks criminally perfect. almost offensive, really. i might have to do something about it.”
the way he said it, all mock seriousness with those ridiculous blue eyes sparkling with mischief, made your lips twitch despite your best efforts. “such a hardship for you.”
“devastating,” he agreed, pressing a hand to his chest like he was physically wounded. then that grin broke through, the one that made him look less like a fitness god and more like a kid who’d found the cookie jar. “i’ll take two. and one of those.” he pointed to a lemon meringue tart, its peak of toasted meringue golden and proud. “for balance.”
you reached for the pastries, trying to ignore how he watched your every movement like he was memorizing the choreography. “balance?”
“very important nutritional concept. sweet, then tart, then back to sweet. it’s basically science.”
“that’s not how nutrition works.”
“says who? my trainer?” he waved a dismissive hand, the gesture fluid and careless. “he thinks protein powder counts as a food group. clearly not a reliable source.”
wednesday brought a different satoru—button-down with sleeves rolled just so, revealing forearms that should probably be illegal in most countries. he ordered three chocolate éclairs this time, each one a perfect torpedo of choux pastry and dark ganache.
“consistency test?” you repeated, watching him pull out that expensive wallet like he was performing surgery.
“scientific method, cupcake. very important.” he peeled off crisp hundreds with the casual air of someone who’d never met a price tag he couldn’t ignore. the bills looked fresh from the bank, and you briefly wondered if he requested new ones specifically for pastry purchases. “can’t make proper recommendations without thorough research.”
your fingers found the edge of your apron, smoothing down imaginary wrinkles. “recommendations to who?”
“my trainer, obviously. gotta give him fair warning about what’s destroying his careful work.” that laugh again, bright and completely unrepentant, the sound warming something deep in your chest. “speaking of which, what’s the caloric damage on these beauties?”
“you don’t want to know.”
“try me.” he leaned forward slightly, chin tilting in challenge, and you caught yourself staring at the way his collar bone disappeared beneath the cotton of his shirt.
“about three hundred each.”
he paused, éclair halfway to his mouth, and you watched something flicker across his face. not regret exactly, but the quick mental calculation of someone who’d spent years thinking in macros and meal plans. then he shrugged, a movement that somehow made his shoulders look even broader, and took a bite that was pure bliss.
his eyes actually fluttered closed for a second, and the small sound he made was borderline indecent. you busied yourself with the register before your brain could process the implications.
“worth every burpee,” he declared, and the conviction in his voice made something warm unfurl in your stomach. this wasn’t just politeness or customer service charm. he meant it.
thursday he showed up in a perfectly fitted black tee that left absolutely nothing to the imagination, and your professionalism took a brief vacation. the fabric clung to every angle and curve like it had been painted on, and you spent an embarrassing amount of time pretending to organize the already-organized pastry display.
he ordered what could only be described as half your case. two kouign-amann, a slice of blood orange tart, three of your dark chocolate cookies, and a danish that had been sitting there looking particularly photogenic.
“research again?” you asked, voice carefully light while your eyes decidedly did not linger on the way his shirt stretched when he reached for his wallet.
“training day,” he said, and there was that subtle flex again, the movement so casual it might have been accidental if not for the way his lips quirked slightly. he knew exactly what he was doing. “need the fuel.”
you handed him his order, fingers brushing his for just a moment. warm, slightly callused from whatever torture routine he put himself through daily. “for what, exactly?”
“deadlifts. squats. the usual punishment for having a sweet tooth the size of tokyo.” he examined the danish like he was conducting a forensic investigation, head tilted just so. “my trainer keeps threatening to fire me, but joke’s on him—i’d just find someone who appreciates the finer things in life.”
the mental image of satoru gojo interviewing personal trainers based on their pastry tolerance made you duck your head to hide a smile. “how much extra cardio are we talking here?”
“for this haul? probably an extra hour. maybe two.” he bit into the danish with the kind of focus usually reserved for important life decisions, and you watched his expression melt into something approaching reverence. “but look at this thing. the way you’ve layered that fruit, how the glaze catches the light... that’s art, cupcake. you can’t put a price on art.”
heat crept up your neck at the genuine appreciation in his voice. “apparently you can. it’s twelve dollars.”
“cheap for a masterpiece.”
the compliment hit different when it came wrapped in that soft tone, without any of his usual performative charm. just honest appreciation, and it made your chest feel tight in ways you didn’t want to examine.
by friday, you’d started doing something incredibly stupid. anticipating his visits with the kind of precision usually reserved for oven timers and proofing schedules. you knew his patterns now—tart first, then creamy, then something with crunch. complex flavors that demanded attention, just like everything else about him.
so when he walked in wearing a cream-colored sweater that made his hair look like spun moonlight, you’d already committed the crime of setting aside a perfect almond croissant and a slice of your new cardamom pear tart. just sitting there on a small plate behind the counter, waiting like evidence of your growing soft spot.
he stopped short when he saw them, and something shifted in his expression. softer somehow, like you’d surprised him in the best possible way. “you read my mind, cupcake.”
“just good service,” you mumbled, but your hands betrayed you, finding your apron and smoothing the flour-dusted fabric with nervous fingers.
“is it though?” he leaned forward, elbows finding the counter, bringing himself into your space in a way that made your pulse skip. up close, you could see the faint freckle near his left temple, the way his ridiculously long eyelashes cast shadows on his cheekbones. “because this feels suspiciously like you’ve been paying attention to my very sophisticated palate.”
the teasing lilt in his voice made your stomach do something acrobatic. “your very expensive palate, you mean.”
“that too.” those eyes were studying you now with the same intensity he usually reserved for pastries, curious and warm and entirely too perceptive. “so what made you choose these? professional instinct or...”
“or what?”
“or maybe you’re starting to like having me around.”
the question hung between you like sugar dust in afternoon light, sweet and impossible to ignore. your cheeks felt warm, but you kept your voice steady through sheer stubborn will. “you’re a good customer.”
“just good?” he tilted his head, hair falling across his forehead in that way that made your fingers itch to brush it back.
“you tip well.”
“ah.” he straightened up with fluid grace, grinning like he’d just solved a particularly entertaining puzzle. “so it is about the money.”
the lie sat bitter on your tongue, but you’d rather eat raw flour than admit the truth. that you looked forward to his visits. that you’d started timing your baking schedule around his usual arrival. that the ridiculous tips were just an excuse to let yourself enjoy his company without feeling guilty about it.
“everything’s about money, satoru.”
“everything?” that voice dropped lower, softer, and you felt it in places that had absolutely nothing to do with business. “what about the art? the passion? the pure, unadulterated joy of creation?”
your breath caught slightly at the way he said ‘passion,’ like the word meant something more than flour and butter and sugar. “rent doesn’t pay itself with passion.”
“fair point.” he took a bite of the almond croissant, and you watched his entire face transform. the careful composure melted away, replaced by something raw and genuine and absolutely devastating. “jesus. okay, this is... this is stupid good.”
pride bloomed warm in your chest, the kind that came from watching someone truly appreciate your work. “just stupid good?”
“life-changing. earth-shattering. the kind of good that makes me question every life choice that led to me discovering it this late.” he took another bite, slower this time, actually savoring it like it deserved. watching him eat something you’d made with such obvious pleasure did dangerous things to your equilibrium. “where did you learn to do this?”
the question caught you off guard. not his usual surface-level compliments, but genuine curiosity about you, about your story. you found yourself answering before you could think better of it.
“culinary school. then a few years working under other people before i saved enough to open this place.” you gestured around the café, at the warm lighting and carefully chosen décor that had taken months of planning and every penny you’d managed to scrape together.
“other people?”
“a french pastry chef who made gordon ramsay look like a teddy bear. learned more in six months with him than i did in two years of school.” the memory still made you wince slightly, even wrapped in gratitude for everything it had taught you.
satoru’s eyebrows rose, and something shifted in his expression. less playful, more attentive. “sounds intense.”
“he once made me remake the same batch of croissants seventeen times because the lamination wasn’t perfect.” the words came easier now, maybe because he was listening with such focused attention. “i cried in the walk-in cooler.”
“and the eighteenth time?”
“eighteenth time was perfect.” you surprised yourself with how much warmth crept into your voice. “finally understood what he meant about respecting the process. about not cutting corners just because you think you know better.”
“and now?”
“now i can make them in my sleep.” you gestured toward the display case where your croissants sat in golden, flaky perfection, evidence of countless hours and stubborn determination. “muscle memory and spite, mostly.”
that drew a laugh from him, rich and genuine. “deadly combination.”
he was looking at you differently now, those impossible eyes softer somehow. like he was seeing past the professional politeness to something more real. it should have been unsettling. instead, it made you want to keep talking, keep sharing pieces of yourself you usually kept locked away.
“so this chocolate work you do—the tempering, the ganache—that all came from drill sergeant pastry chef too?”
you found yourself actually wanting to explain it, to share the thing you loved most about your craft. “some of it. but chocolate is... different. more temperamental. you can’t bully it into submission like dough. you have to coax it, understand what it needs.”
he leaned closer, genuinely interested, and you caught a whiff of his cologne mixed with the lingering sweetness from the pastries. clean and expensive and entirely too distracting. “what does it need?”
“patience. the right temperature. respect for the process.” you pulled out your phone almost without thinking, scrolling to a video you’d posted last week. “see this? the way the chocolate looks when it’s properly tempered versus when it’s not?”
he moved around the counter—when had you said he could do that?—to look at your screen. close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from his skin, see the way his hair curled slightly at the nape of his neck. “show me the difference.”
your fingers were definitely not steady as you pointed to the glossy, perfectly smooth chocolate in the video. “this one. snappy, shiny, stable. versus this.” another clip, chocolate that looked dull and streaky. “seized because someone got impatient and tried to rush the cooling process.”
“someone like me, you mean.”
the self-awareness in his voice made you look up, and suddenly you were much too close to those winter-storm eyes. “someone exactly like you.”
“ouch.” but he was smiling, that soft genuine smile that made your pulse forget its rhythm. “so you’re saying i need to learn patience.”
“i’m saying chocolate will teach you patience whether you want to learn or not.”
“and if i wanted to learn? hypothetically speaking.”
the question settled between you like powdered sugar, sweet and impossible to brush away. your heart did something complicated against your ribs. “hypothetically?”
“completely hypothetical. just curious about the... educational process.”
you studied his face, looking for the usual playful smirk, but found something more sincere instead. something that made your chest feel tight and warm and terrified. “it’s not easy. takes time. messy. lots of failures before you get it right.”
“i’m not afraid of messy.” his voice was softer now, and you realized you were still standing much too close, could see the faint gold flecks in his impossibly blue eyes.
“no,” you said quietly, taking in his perfectly styled hair, his carefully chosen outfit, the way he carried himself like problems were just puzzles waiting to be solved. “i don’t think you are.”
he stayed longer that day, nursing his matcha latte and working through the cardamom pear tart with the kind of focus usually reserved for meditation or very important life decisions. every so often he’d look up and catch you watching him, and instead of that cocky smirk you’d grown dangerously fond of, he’d give you something softer. more real.
when he finally left, he paused at the door, hand on the frame, looking back like he wanted to say something else.
“same time monday?”
“we’re closed mondays.”
“tuesday, then.” that smile again, the one that made your knees forget their primary function.
“tuesday works.”
he pushed through the door into afternoon sunshine, and you watched him pull out his phone to photograph the empty plate he’d left behind. the story that went up an hour later was just the image with no caption, but your café’s location tagged like a promise.
your phone buzzed, not with an explosion, but with another steady pulse in what had become a low, constant hum of new activity over the past few days. each time he’d posted and tagged you, a new wave of curious followers would wash over your small page—a few hundred more likes, a dozen more comments asking who you were. this post felt different, though. more potent.
it felt less like a ripple and more like the tide starting to turn. you stared at your phone screen, watching the new notifications roll in, a knot of anticipation tightening in your stomach. you realized you were in trouble. the kind of trouble that was only partly about the looming threat of viral fame, and everything to do with the way your heart had started keeping time to the rhythm of a certain someone’s visits.
the cafe visits had become routine, but so had something else entirely. late-night video binges. satoru, tucked into the ridiculously expensive italian leather couch in his penthouse, would scroll through your youtube channel like it was late-night cable, airpods in, the city lights a distant hum.
your voice, a warm honey he’d once only associated with chocolate tempering, now filled his ears, a constant, comforting presence. it was oddly intimate, an exclusive soundtrack to his solitary evenings. he’d watch you explain the subtle art of a perfectly proofed brioche, the meticulous fold of a puff pastry. and as he watched, as your gentle explanations filled the quiet of his apartment, he started associating sweetness with more than just taste.
it was in the warmth of your voice, the patient way you corrected a common baking mistake in a tutorial, the quiet dedication in your hands as they measured flour. sweetness became patience. sweetness became quiet strength. sweetness became you.
he’d drift off to sleep with the soft cadence of your voice in his ears, and that’s when the dreams started. not about gym glory or brand deals, but about pastries that didn’t exist yet. wild, impossible creations: a lavender-infused crème brûlée that shimmered like moonlight, a pistachio and rosewater financier that smelled like spring, a miso-caramel tart with a delicate sesame crust. he’d wake up, confused and disoriented, craving flavors you hadn’t invented yet, a strange, persistent ache in his chest.
and then, the texting began.
it started innocently enough, a playful jab after a particularly indulgent visit.
squatoru: seriously, that pain au chocolat today? should come with a warning label. my trainer cried.
why.en-bakes: glad to be of service 😃
but then, the messages started appearing at odd hours. 1 am, 2 am. sometimes a simple, nonsensical emoji. sometimes a flurry of half-baked ideas.
squatoru: what about a churro croissant? is that legal? asking for a friend. (the friend is my sweet tooth).
you’d wake up to the ping, groggy and annoyed, but then you’d read his absurd suggestions, and a small smile would tug at your lips. sometimes, inexplicably, they were good ideas. too good.
your fingers would hover over your phone, considering the absurdity, then find themselves scrolling through your pantry. a few days later, a churro croissant would appear as tomorrow’s special, flaky and cinnamon-sugared, a tangible reply to his late-night musings.
he’d walk in the next day, a triumphant grin on his face. “i knew it,” he’d say, leaning against the counter, eyes sparkling. “you’re secretly taking commissions from my dreams, aren’t you, cupcake?”
you’d just shrug, a faint flush on your cheeks. “just a good baker with good ideas, satoru.”
he began to wonder if this was what inspiration felt like, this constant buzz in his brain, these unexpected surges of creativity that always, always, revolved around you and your world. it was foreign, intoxicating.
the teasing messages started to shift, to soften. the playful jabs giving way to something more sincere, more vulnerable.
squatoru: that apple crumble changed my life, no joke. thought i peaked, then tasted that. turns out i can still be surprised.
a message like that would arrive late at night, catching you off guard. you’d be scrolling through a supplier catalog, exhausted, and then his words would bloom on the screen, a quiet warmth spreading through your chest.
squatoru: didn’t know honey could taste like that. your honey cake. it’s something else.
you’d stare at your phone screen, a strange mixture of fluster and genuine pleasure unfurling inside you. these weren't compliments about his abs or his follower count—they were about your work, your taste, your ability to create something beautiful. when you thought no one was looking, usually tucked under your covers or in the quiet pre-dawn hours of the cafe, you’d screenshot them. little digital keepsakes of his quiet adoration.
squatoru: you made winter feel kind today. the lemon tart. tasted like sunshine.
you didn't know what to do with messages like that. they weren't flirting, not exactly. they were… observations. gentle, heartfelt observations that chipped away at your professional armor, one sweet, unassuming word at a time.
back in the gleaming, sterile environment of his gym, satoru’s performance was, to put it mildly, suffering. his focus, once laser-sharp, now drifted like dandelion fluff on the wind.
he dropped weights mid-set, the heavy clatter echoing through the gym, startling the other lifters. he’d be thinking about the impossibly smooth texture of your lemon curd, the delicate balance of your custard. the way it melted on the tongue. the exact shade of the toasted meringue.
his trainer, a no-nonsense man named masaru who believed in pain and protein above all else, crossed his arms, a vein throbbing faintly in his temple. “satoru. you’ve dropped that sixty-kilo bell three times this week. you sleeping enough?”
satoru grunted, wiping sweat from his brow with a towel, his mind still halfway back in your cafe. “yeah, fine. just… distracted.”
“distracted by what? another brand deal?” masaru eyed him skeptically. “you’re hitting your protein, right? macros are still on point?”
“yeah, yeah. all fine.” satoru lied, easily, smoothly. he hadn’t logged his macros properly in days. he hadn’t done his usual post-workout cardio in favor of replaying your new almond croissant tutorial. he wasn’t fine. not in the way masaru meant.
he was falling. falling faster and harder than any deadlift he’d ever attempted. and the landing, he suspected, was going to be deliciously, terrifyingly sweet.
satoru’s multiple story posts tagging humble your café’s location, each one a testament to your baking prowess and his insatiable sweet tooth, had brought chaos. glorious, sugary chaos.
by the next morning, tuesday, there was a line winding around the block of flour & sugar—a serpent of eager customers stretching down the street, smartphones out, food bloggers scribbling furiously into notebooks, and a worrying number of local influencers trying (and failing) to recreate satoru’s “found heaven” aesthetic shots outside your unassuming facade.
you opened the doors at seven, expecting your usual tuesday hum. instead, you were hit with a tidal wave. your tiny cafe, usually a haven of quiet contemplation for pastry lovers, became a buzzing hive of anticipation.
by 9 am, the display case was utterly, tragically barren. empty shelves stared back at you, pristine and devoid of life. you were sold out, completely overwhelmed by the sudden, unprecedented influx of customers, all asking for “whatever satoru gojo ordered.”
you’d spent the last hour politely explaining that satoru gojo had a different order every day and, no, you couldn’t just whip up a fresh batch of everything right now. the exhaustion was real, but so was the faint, bewildered pride.
when he showed up at his usual, leisurely time, strolling in at 10:47 like he owned the sunshine outside, he stopped short. the bell above the door gave its usual chime, but for once, satoru’s fluid confidence faltered. his storm-glass eyes, usually so sharp and discerning, widened, then slowly swept across the utterly desolate display case.
the devastation on his face was almost comical—like someone had just told him christmas was cancelled, forever, and replaced it with a mandatory kale cleanse. his impossible silver hair seemed to droop slightly, mirroring the sudden collapse of his shoulders.
you, wiping down the already spotless counter, saw his expression crumble, the playful mischief in his eyes replaced by a profound, almost childlike grief. a genuine wave of apology washed over you.
“i’m so sorry,” you started, stepping closer to the counter, your voice softer than intended. his gaze flickered to you, briefly losing focus on the tragedy before him. “we… we sold out early today. there were just… a lot of new customers.” you gestured vaguely towards the lingering stragglers outside, still hopeful.
he ignored them. his eyes were fixed on the barren shelves, staring at the empty spaces where his beloved pain au chocolat and lemon meringue tarts usually sat in gleaming rows, like they had personally betrayed him. his perfect posture, usually so effortlessly arrogant, sagged just a fraction. “all of it?”
you nodded, a small, sympathetic frown creasing your brow. “all of it. the pain au chocolat, the kouign-amann, even the cinnamon rolls. everything.” you watched him process this profound tragedy, the quick flicker of shock, then disbelief, then a truly dramatic despair. a strange, soft tug pulled at your chest. it was ridiculous, of course, but also… kind of sweet.
you couldn’t help it. his absolute, unadulterated heartbreak over a lack of pastries was surprisingly endearing. “but… i could make you something?” you offered, the words tumbling out before you could fully censor them. “fresh? if you don’t mind waiting.”
his head snapped up, those storm-glass eyes widening again, now alight with a sudden, improbable hope. it was like you’d just offered him the moon, gift-wrapped and topped with ganache. “you’d do that?”
“well,” you said, trying to ignore how his entire face lit up, a blinding sunrise of relief and joy. you felt a blush creeping up your neck. “can’t have you wasting away to nothing, satoru. i imagine your trainer would send me a very strongly worded email.” you added, a small, wry smile touching your lips.
what you didn’t say: that you’d already set aside ingredients for his usual favorites—an almond croissant, a chocolate tart, a couple of those irresistible dark chocolate cookies—before the morning rush hit, carefully hidden in the back like a secret stash, just in case. just in case he showed up, heartbroken, and needed a little private magic.
he seemed to take this as a cue, a permission granted. a wide, relieved grin spread across his face, lighting up the entire cafe. “you’re a lifesaver, cupcake. a literal, delicious lifesaver.” he pushed off the counter, moving with renewed purpose towards his usual corner table, settling in with the patience of a cat waiting for milk. “anything you make will be perfect. take your time. i’m in no rush.”
you ducked your head, a smile finally escaping, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the espresso machine. the cafe was empty of customers, but suddenly, it felt very, very full.
you disappeared into the back, the familiar rhythm of your kitchen a welcome balm after the morning’s chaos. pulling out the pre-portioned ingredients, you began to work, your hands moving with skilled precision. you rolled the pastry for his almond croissant, its buttery layers promising flaky perfection, then assembled a miniature chocolate tart, ensuring the ganache was extra smooth, the sable crust extra crisp. the aroma of warm butter and dark chocolate began to waft through the now quiet cafe, a comforting, familiar scent that promised indulgence.
satoru, at his table, watched the kitchen door, an expectant, almost puppy-like eagerness in his posture. when you finally emerged, a small plate held carefully in your hands, he practically vibrated with anticipation.
“almond croissant and a chocolate tart, fresh out of the oven,” you announced, placing the plate gently before him. the croissant gleamed, its toasted almonds a fragrant crown, and the chocolate tart was a miniature masterpiece, its surface still faintly warm. “and a fresh matcha latte, extra sweet, just like you like it.”
he stared at the plate, then up at you, his impossible eyes wide with genuine awe. “you… you made this? just for me?”
you felt a blush spread across your cheeks. “it’s part of the job, satoru. making people happy with pastries.”
“you’re doing a very good job,” he said, his gaze lingering on your face for a beat longer than strictly necessary. he reached for the croissant first, breaking off a piece with careful precision. the warm, buttery scent filled the air around him. his eyes fluttered closed for a second, a soft, appreciative hum escaping him as he chewed slowly, savoring every flaky, almond-laced bite.
this wasn't just a pastry. this was a personalized act of kindness from the one person who seemed utterly immune to his usual charms. and it tasted like pure, unadulterated happiness.
he devoured the croissant, then moved to the chocolate tart, taking a huge, satisfying bite. the warmth of the chocolate, the sweetness of the ganache, the unexpected crunch of the crust—it was pure bliss. he ate it with the focus of a man who’d been starving for days, yet somehow also with a deliberate slowness, trying to make the moment last.
when he finished, the plates were impeccably clean, as if licked. he pulled out his wallet again, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “i’m going to need the damage report, cupcake. and i have a feeling this kind of bespoke service warrants… extra compensation.” he placed two crisp hundred-dollar bills on the counter, pushing them towards you. “for the trouble. and for the extra miles i’ll have to run tomorrow.”
you stared at the money, then at him, a genuine smile finally breaking through. “satoru, this is ridiculous. it’s twelve dollars. the ingredients were already here.”
“nonsense. that was a private showing of artisanal genius. worth every penny. consider it a down payment for future emergencies.” he grinned, then stood, stretching with a languid grace that drew your eyes to the way his t-shirt draped over his chest. “so. tuesday, then? same time?”
you watched him, a warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the oven. “tuesday. we’ll try to save some for you.”
“no need,” he said, a playful wink accompanying his words as he headed for the door. “i have a feeling you’ll make something special just for me.”
and as the bell chimed, marking his departure, you couldn’t help but smile, already thinking about what new creation you could conjure up for his next visit. he was right. you probably would.
the cafe had always run on rhythm. espresso machine hissing, ceramic clatter, quiet conversation hum. but lately, that rhythm had acquired a distinct satoru-shaped beat that threw off your entire carefully orchestrated world.
he’d been coming in daily now, not just tuesday through saturday, but every moment the doors were open. his excuses were increasingly transparent, delivered with charming smirks that you almost bought—would have bought, if you weren’t becoming dangerously familiar with the way his mouth curved when he was particularly pleased with himself.
“needed caffeine,” he’d declare one morning, striding through the bell’s familiar jingle with the kind of confidence that made gravity seem negotiable. never mind that his penthouse probably housed equipment worth more than your monthly rent. he’d stretch deliberately, quality fabric pulling across shoulders that belonged in renaissance sculptures, while storm-glass eyes swept the display case like he was conducting some kind of sacred inventory.
another day brought, “had a meeting nearby.” vague gesturing down the street with long fingers that moved like they were conducting invisible symphonies, as if his presence wasn’t the actual purpose. he’d unwrap an éclair before fully paying, chocolate scent momentarily masking cologne that probably cost more than your weekly flour budget.
then came the most audacious: “thought i smelled something burning.”
perfectly straight face, not even a twitch in those ridiculous cheekbones. dramatic air-sniffing that somehow made him look like a very expensive bloodhound. you’d given him your flattest look, the one usually reserved for customers who asked if your croissants were “really” made fresh daily.
there was, of course, no burning anything. just your patience, slowly crumbling like overbaked cookies.
today was thursday. he walked in wearing a dark long-sleeved shirt that committed actual crimes against your ability to concentrate and cargo pants that somehow looked effortlessly expensive on legs that went on for geological ages. ordered his usual—chocolate tart, almond croissant, extra-sweet matcha latte that matched his ridiculous sweet tooth—but bypassed his customary corner table.
instead, he chose a small two-person spot against the wall. direct, unobstructed view of your main workspace. the audacity was breathtaking, really.
you felt his attention immediately, warm weight settling between your shoulder blades like a cat claiming ownership. moved to the prep station where vanilla cupcakes waited for rosettes, your hands usually surgeon-steady despite the early morning rush. but under his unwavering focus, fingers felt clumsy, disconnected from your brain. delicate buttercream swirls wobbled slightly, and you bit back the urge to hum—your usual working soundtrack felt too intimate with him watching.
annoyance mixed with growing heat that had nothing to do with the ovens. furious blush threatened to betray every professional instinct you’d cultivated.
during a lull, you glanced up, and immediately regretted it. his table sat maybe six feet away but felt impossibly close, like he’d somehow bent space around himself. no pretense today—phone abandoned beside his matcha, screen dark as those winter-storm eyes. just watching. chin propped on palm, elbow on table, head tilted with languid grace that suggested he had all the time in the world to study your every movement.
his expression was soft, unguarded. usual playful glint replaced by something direct, seeing. it made your chest tighten strangely, breath catching like you’d forgotten how to process oxygen properly. awareness jolted through you like touching a live wire.
“you’re staring,” you called across the space, voice steadier than your pulse deserved. the words came out sharper than intended, defensive armor against the way he was looking at you like you were the most fascinating thing in his very curated world.
he smiled slowly, easy stretch reaching those impossible eyes. blue depths softened, losing glacial edge for warmth that made something flutter stupidly behind your ribs. lifted his matcha with deliberate grace, sipped without breaking eye contact. the movement was calculated casualness, performative in its confidence.
“just appreciating the artistry, cupcake.” his voice carried new weight today, rougher around the edges. more honest than his usual smooth control, like he’d forgotten to put on his public persona along with that perfectly fitted shirt.
“the artistry of cupcakes?” you countered, fingers tightening around the piping bag until plastic creaked in protest. forced attention back to swirling white frosting, but your mind kept circling back to how his gaze felt like warm spotlight, illuminating corners of yourself you usually kept professionally dim.
he chuckled, low and private, the sound meant for your ears alone despite the public space. head tilted again, silver hair falling across his forehead in a way that should have looked messy but instead made him look like some expensive magazine’s idea of casual perfection. storm-glass eyes held yours, reflective depth replacing sharp teasing.
“the artistry of you making them.” the words fell between you like powdered sugar, sweet and impossible to brush away.
this compliment rewired something fundamental in your chest. bypassed professional pride entirely, sailed straight past the fluster you’d been fighting, and landed somewhere dangerous. settled like comfortable weight against your ribs, warm and persistent. wasn’t about pastries anymore, or technical skill. about you.
the quiet passion, focused dedication you poured into everything you made. like he’d reached past counter, past flour-dusted apron, past practiced customer service smile, and seen something essential you rarely let anyone witness.
heat crept up your neck in a slow burn, spread across cheeks like spilled cinnamon. you ducked your head, suddenly exposed in ways that made your skin feel too tight. terrifying and exhilarating simultaneously, like standing at the edge of something vast and unnamed.
foolish joy blossomed behind your ribs anyway. he really sees it. sees you.
“well, thank you, satoru,” you managed, voice softer than intended, betraying the carefully constructed composure you wore like armor. squeezed the piping bag, and a perfect rosette bloomed—slightly lopsided but charming in its imperfection. “it takes a lot of practice. years, actually.”
your fingers trembled slightly as you set the cupcake aside, reached for another. started humming under your breath without thinking, a soft melody that always accompanied your work. caught yourself, stopped abruptly.
he made a thoughtful sound, those long fingers drumming against ceramic in a rhythm that somehow matched the song you’d been humming. like he’d been listening, filing away even your unconscious habits. “years, huh? that’s...” he paused, rolling the word around like he was tasting it. “dedication.”
something almost wistful colored his tone, like he was trying to imagine that kind of sustained commitment to anything that wasn’t maintaining his ridiculous physical perfection. his thumb traced the rim of his cup, absent gesture that drew your attention to hands that were probably softer than yours despite all his gym time.
“some people think it’s obsessive,” you admitted, surprising yourself with the honesty. smoothed your apron with nervous fingers, flour transferring to already-dusty fabric. you’d heard it before—friends who didn’t understand the 4am starts, the burned fingers, the endless pursuit of perfect crumb structure.
“obsessive?” he repeated, eyebrows rising toward that impossible hairline. familiar smirk tugged at lips that were unfairly well-defined, but gentler somehow. less performative. “coming from someone who’s memorized your operating schedule and has been conducting what could generously be called ‘pastry surveillance’ for months?”
the self-awareness in his voice, paired with that slight flush across sharp cheekbones, made something warm bubble up in your chest. despite yourself, you snorted. actual snorted. like an undignified, very unprofessional sound that would have mortified you with any other customer.
his grin widened into something brilliant, transforming his entire face. less magazine-perfect, more genuinely beautiful. the kind of smile that made you forget he was probably genetically engineered for maximum visual impact.
“touché,” you murmured, ducking your head to hide your answering smile. started humming again, softer this time, the melody weaving between words. “though i’d hardly call buying excessive amounts of baked goods ‘surveillance.’”
“excessive?” he pressed a hand to his chest in mock offense, the gesture making his shirt pull across torso that defied reasonable proportions. leaned back in his chair with fluid grace, all long lines and casual power. “i prefer ‘thorough research methodology.’”
“is that what we’re calling it?” the question came out teasing despite your best efforts, fingers moving in familiar patterns as buttercream spiraled into perfect peaks.
“absolutely. very scientific.” he took another sip of matcha, eyes sparkling with mischief that made him look younger, less untouchable. “can’t make proper assessments without comprehensive data collection.”
you paused in your piping, tilted your head in challenge. “and what exactly are you assessing?”
something shifted in his expression then, playful mask slipping slightly. “everything,” he said simply, voice dropping to something more intimate. “the way you move when you think no one’s watching. how you hum when you’re concentrating. the fact that you always check the oven timer twice, even though you could probably bake blindfolded by now.”
the observation sent warmth spiraling through your chest. he had been watching, really watching. not just appreciating the view but memorizing details, cataloging habits you thought were invisible.
“speaking of which,” he continued, leaning forward slightly, elbows finding the table. closer now, close enough that you could see the way his lashes cast shadows on those ridiculous cheekbones. “how does one even begin to learn something like this? hypothetically speaking.”
the question caught you off guard, made you pause with piping bag hovering over another cupcake. something in his tone had shifted—less flirtatious banter, more genuine curiosity. like he was actually interested in your answer rather than just enjoying the conversation.
“hypothetically?” you echoed carefully, studying his face for signs of his usual performative charm. found something more sincere instead, vulnerability creeping around the edges of his confidence.
“completely hypothetical,” he assured, but that flush across his cheekbones deepened slightly. fingers stilled against his cup, waiting for your response with the kind of focus he usually reserved for gym routines or camera angles.
you considered this, set down the piping bag to give him your full attention. “well, hypothetically... most people start with basics. measuring, following recipes exactly. learning to fail gracefully.”
“fail gracefully?” curiosity brightened those storm-glass eyes, head tilting like he was genuinely trying to understand a foreign concept.
“burned cookies, collapsed cakes, chocolate that seizes because you got impatient.” you shrugged, began humming again as you arranged finished cupcakes on a tiered stand. the melody helped organize your thoughts, made the explanation flow easier. “it’s part of the process. you mess up, figure out why, try again.”
he was quiet for a moment, processing this with the kind of intense focus that probably made his personal trainer weep with joy. thumb traced patterns against ceramic, unconscious gesture that somehow made him seem more human.
“sounds like it requires patience.” something rueful colored his voice, like he was recognizing his own shortcomings.
“tons of it. and thick skin. and the ability to get up at ungodly hours because bread waits for no one.” you glanced up, caught something almost vulnerable in his expression. like he was actually considering this impossible scenario, measuring himself against requirements he’d never had to meet.
“ungodly hours,” he repeated thoughtfully, hair falling across his forehead as he leaned closer. “like how ungodly are we talking?”
“four am, sometimes earlier during busy seasons.” you watched him wince dramatically, all sharp angles and exaggerated horror. the reaction was so genuine it made you laugh, soft sound that seemed to catch his attention like a hook. “different kind of brutal than your workout schedule.”
“definitely different,” he agreed, then found yourself adding, voice softer, “but worth it. when everything comes together perfectly, when you create something that makes people happy...” you trailed off, humming resuming as you lost yourself in the thought. “there’s nothing quite like it.”
the way you said it, gentle and genuine and completely unguarded, made something shift in his expression. that performative confidence melted away entirely, replaced by raw curiosity and something that looked dangerously like longing.
“you really love it,” he observed quietly. not a question, more like a realization. like he was seeing you—really seeing you—for the first time.
“yeah,” you admitted, suddenly shy under his intense focus. smoothed your apron again, nervous gesture that left more flour streaks across the fabric. “i really do.”
silence stretched between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. charged instead, humming with possibilities and the weight of his attention. you could feel something shifting in the space between counter and table, subtle but significant. like tectonic plates moving, rearranging the landscape of whatever this was becoming.
and maybe, just maybe, you were starting to see him too. past the perfect exterior and calculated charm, to something more genuine underneath. something worth the risk of letting your guard down.
“well,” he said finally, voice softer than usual, that vulnerability still threading through his tone. straightened in his chair but somehow seemed less distant. “hypothetically speaking, that sounds like something worth learning about.”
you met his gaze, heart doing complicated acrobatics against your ribs. started humming again, melody filling the space between words. “hypothetically.”
“of course.” that slow smile returned, different now. less performative, more real. like sunlight breaking through carefully constructed clouds. “purely theoretical interest.”
“naturally,” you agreed, trying to ignore how your pulse had shifted into overtime.
but as you watched him settle back in his chair, something had definitely changed. the air between you felt thicker, more charged with possibility. and for the first time since this whole thing started, you weren’t entirely sure who was in control of this particular game anymore.
not that you minded being a little lost, especially when the alternative was finding your way back to the safety of professional distance. some risks were worth taking, even if they came wrapped in designer clothing and impossible blue eyes.
two months in, satoru gojo’s meticulously structured life had quietly reorganized itself around flour & sugar’s operating hours. his calendar, once a rigid grid of training blocks and sponsorship meetings, now had soft, flexible pockets of time carved out for “research.”
his trainer, masaru, had progressed from exasperated sighs to leaving passive-aggressive notes about “dietary consistency” taped to his gym locker. one simply read: “carbs are not your friend, satoru.” satoru had crumpled it up with a grin.
his friends had progressed from gentle ribbing about his "carb phase" to outright intervention attempts.
“dude, you know there are other bakeries in the city, right?” his roommate had asked last tuesday, watching satoru check the time for the third time in ten minutes, a nervous energy thrumming under his skin. “ones that don’t require you to rearrange your entire geopolitical schedule?”
satoru had just shrugged, eyes fixed on the clock. “the lighting’s better at this one.”
but they didn’t understand. couldn’t understand. because somewhere between that first accidental like and now, somewhere in the quiet hum of your cafe and the warm scent of your pastries, this had stopped being about the pastries entirely.
wednesday morning found him arriving at his usual time—10:47 am, after the morning rush but before lunch prep fully consumed your attention.
he’d timed it perfectly over weeks of careful observation, memorizing the rhythm of your day like scripture. the bell announced his entrance with a familiar chime, and he felt that stupid, predictable flutter in his chest when you looked up from behind the counter, a small, knowing smile touching your lips.
you were piping something delicate onto petit fours, tiny, jewel-like cakes arranged in neat rows. your movements were precise, economical, each squeeze of the pastry bag adding perfect, miniature rosettes of buttercream. but it was the soft humming that got him—a barely audible, contented melody that seemed to flow from some deep, quiet place inside you. he’d started cataloging these details without meaning to.
“morning, cupcake,” he said, his voice a low, familiar rumble as he settled into his usual spot by the window. the endearment had become natural, automatic, though he wasn’t sure when that had happened. it just… fit.
“morning, satoru.” your voice carried a warmth that made something dangerous and hopeful bloom in his chest. you finished the petit four with a final, delicate flourish, set down the piping bag, and he watched you wipe your hands on your flour-dusted black apron—the same gesture he’d seen hundreds of times now, but it still made him want to memorize the movement. “the usual?”
the usual. like he was a regular fixture, a predictable part of your day, which he supposed he was. chocolate tart, almond croissant, matcha latte with extra sweetness because you’d noticed his ridiculous sweet tooth weeks ago and started accommodating it without him ever having to ask.
“you know me so well,” he said, and the words held more weight than he’d intended.
something flickered across your face—pleasure, maybe, or a quiet satisfaction at being seen as perceptive. you moved through the preparation with a practiced efficiency, but he caught the way you selected his chocolate tart from the back row, where you’d obviously set aside the most perfectly formed one. he noticed how you added just a touch more syrup to his matcha without measuring, your muscle memory perfectly calibrated to his preferences.
these small kindnesses shouldn't have meant so much. but they did. they felt like secrets, quiet acknowledgements of this strange, unspoken thing growing between you.
“here we go,” you said, setting his order down with a quiet care. your fingers brushed his as you handed over the matcha, a contact so brief it was barely there, but so electric it sent a jolt straight up his arm. “perfect timing, too—that tart just came out of the case.”
“perfect timing,” he agreed, his voice a little rough, though he was talking about more than pastries. every visit felt like perfect timing now, like the universe had conspired to place him in this specific seat at this specific moment, watching you create magic from flour and butter and impossible patience.
he settled in, but the cafe felt different today. quieter. the lull between rushes seemed to stretch longer, leaving just the two of you in the warm, sweet-scented space. he ate slowly, deliberately, making the experience last. he’d finish a bite of the rich, decadent tart, then take a sip of the sweet, earthy matcha, his eyes constantly drifting back to you as you worked.
you were arranging the petit fours now, a focused intensity in your movements. you felt his gaze on you, a familiar, warm weight. but it wasn't just observation anymore—it felt like a presence, a quiet companionship that filled the empty spaces in the cafe.
“those look almost too pretty to eat,” he called over, his voice a low, appreciative murmur.
you glanced up, a small, genuine smile touching your lips. “almost,” you agreed. “that’s the goal. make people hesitate for at least a full second before they destroy your hard work.”
he chuckled, a rich sound that made your chest feel warm. “a full second? that’s ambitious. for me, it’s more like half a second of quiet reverence, followed by total annihilation.” he gestured to his now-empty plate as evidence.
the conversation fell into a comfortable silence. he finished his latte, but he didn't move. he didn’t pull out his phone, didn’t start gathering his things. he just sat there, watching you, a soft, unguarded expression on his face. the hesitation was palpable, a quiet reluctance to break the spell of the morning. you felt your own heart beating a little faster. he was waiting. waiting for what, you weren't sure. maybe for you to tell him to leave.
but you didn’t want him to.
your hands stilled on the counter. you took a breath, a small, shaky thing. this was new territory, a step beyond the safety of your professional boundaries. “so,” you started, your voice a little softer than you intended. “i was, uh, working on something new this morning.”
his head tilted, a spark of genuine curiosity lighting up his storm-glass eyes. he leaned forward slightly, all his attention focused on you. “oh yeah? a new instrument of torture for my trainer?”
the familiar banter was a lifeline, and you grabbed it. “something like that,” you said, a real smile breaking through. you ducked into the kitchen for a moment, the hum in your throat picking up a nervous, excited tempo. when you returned, you were holding a small, pristine white plate. on it sat a single, perfect creation.
it was a small, dome-shaped mousse cake, glazed with a mirror finish so pale blue it was almost white, the exact shade of his eyes on a clear winter day. delicate, crystalline sugar work spun around its base like fractured ice, and on top, a single, perfect white chocolate feather rested, reminiscent of his impossible hair, dusted with the finest silver powder. it looked like him. it looked like a feeling you were terrified to name.
you placed it on the counter between you, a silent, trembling offering.
satoru stared at it, his usual playful smirk gone, replaced by an expression of genuine, stunned awe. his eyes, so often a similar shade of impossible blue, widened as he took in the delicate details. the color. the single white feather. the resemblance was subtle, artful, but undeniably there. he knew, instantly, what—or rather, who—he was looking at. “cupcake,” he breathed, the word soft, reverent, barely a whisper. “what is this?”
“i’m not sure what to call it yet,” you admitted, your fingers finding the familiar comfort of your apron, twisting the fabric. “it’s a white chocolate and blueberry mousse. with a yuzu curd center. i was trying to capture a feeling, more than just a flavor.” your eyes were fixed on the cake, unable to meet his.
he looked from the cake to you, his gaze intense, searching, his heart hammering against his ribs. he understood. oh, he understood completely. “what feeling?”
you felt a blush heat your cheeks, a slow, deep burn. you risked a glance up, and the raw vulnerability in his expression made your breath catch. “i don’t know… quiet. calm.” you gestured vaguely at the peaceful cafe around you, a weak attempt at deflection. “like… the feeling you get when you finally perfect something. that moment of peace.” your lie was thin as spun sugar.
he was silent for a long moment, just looking at you, a universe of unspoken understanding passing between your locked gazes. then, his eyes met yours, and there was a raw honesty in them you’d never seen before. “can i…?”
“i was hoping you would,” you said, your voice barely a whisper. “i need an honest opinion. from a professional researcher.”
that earned you a slow, breathtaking smile. it wasn't his usual cocky grin—it was softer, more genuine, and it reached all the way to his eyes, making them crinkle at the corners. “my services are at your disposal.”
he moved from his table to the counter, taking the seat opposite you. the shift was significant. he was no longer a customer in your space—he was a guest, an invited participant. he picked up the small fork you’d provided, his long, callused fingers surprisingly delicate.
he took the first bite with the focus of a bomb disposal expert. you watched, holding your breath, as his expression shifted. his eyes widened slightly, then fluttered closed for a brief, blissful moment. a soft, involuntary sigh escaped his lips.
he chewed slowly, thoughtfully. you saw the surprise as the bright, tart yuzu hit his palate, cutting through the creamy sweetness of the white chocolate and the subtle fruitiness of the blueberry.
when he opened his eyes, they were dark, intense. “cupcake,” he said again, his voice rough with emotion. “that’s… that’s not a pastry. that’s a poem.” he looked from the half-eaten cake back to you, a question in his eyes. a silent asking. is this for me?
pride, warm and overwhelming, bloomed in your chest. “so… it’s okay?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly.
he laughed, a real, incredulous sound. “okay? it’s… perfect.” he took another bite, slower this time, savoring it. “it tastes exactly like you said. like a quiet morning. like… peace.” he looked at you then, and the weight of his gaze was enough to make your knees feel weak. “like finding something you didn't even know you were looking for.”
“i try,” you whispered, your heart doing a wild, joyful dance against your ribs.
he finished the entire cake in a reverent silence. when he was done, he set the fork down gently, a thoughtful, almost sad expression on his face. “the only problem,” he said, looking at the empty plate, “is that it’s over.”
his gaze lifted to yours, and in that moment, in the quiet of the empty cafe, with the ghost of a perfect pastry between you, you both knew he wasn't just talking about the cake anymore.
he was in trouble. deep, irreversible trouble.
and as you looked back at him, a soft, shy smile touching your lips, you realized with a terrifying, exhilarating certainty… so were you.
thursday passed like a held breath.
you found yourself checking the clock obsessively—10:30, 10:45, 10:47. each minute that ticked by without the familiar chime of the entrance bell felt heavier than the last. by 11 am, you’d reorganized the display case twice. by noon, you’d deep-cleaned the espresso machine that was already spotless. by 2 pm, you were fighting the urge to text him, though you didn’t even have his number.
the rational part of your mind supplied perfectly reasonable explanations. content creation. gym sessions. life. but the irrational part—the part that had spent last night dreaming about storm-glass eyes and the way he’d said “perfect” like a prayer—whispered crueler possibilities.
maybe he’d finally realized how far he’d drifted from his carefully curated routine. maybe masaru had staged a successful intervention. maybe yesterday’s cake had been too much, too obvious, too vulnerable.
maybe he’d finally gotten tired of your little bakery.
the lunch rush came and went in a blur of mechanical smiles and automated responses. customers complimented your strawberry danish, your matcha cookies, your perfectly crafted lattes, but their praise felt muted, like hearing music through water. you caught yourself glancing toward his usual table—table three by the window—every few minutes, each time hoping to see white hair catching the afternoon light.
instead, you saw empty chairs and the golden dust motes dancing in the space he usually occupied.
masako, your part-time helper, noticed your distraction during the afternoon lull. “you seem off today,” she said, wiping down the counter with characteristic directness. at sixty-two, she had no patience for subtlety. “waiting for someone?”
“no,” you lied, your voice a little too bright. “just tired.”
she hummed, unconvinced, but left you to your melancholy. you spent the rest of the afternoon perfecting a new recipe for honey lavender madeleines, throwing yourself into the familiar comfort of precise measurements and careful timing. baking had always been your meditation, your way of quieting the noise in your head. but today, even the methodical ritual couldn’t quite drown out the disappointed whisper in your chest.
by 6 pm, you’d accepted the truth. he wasn’t coming.
you began your closing routine with a heavy heart, moving through the familiar motions on autopilot. wiping down tables, washing the last of the display cases, counting the till. the evening light slanted golden through your windows, painting everything in warm honey tones that should have felt cozy but instead felt lonely.
you were just reaching for the door lock, keys jingling softly against your wrist, when you heard it—the soft tap of knuckles against glass.
your heart performed some impossible acrobatics as you turned, and there he was. satoru gojo, looking uncharacteristically nervous in the fading daylight, one hand raised in a small wave, the other clutching something behind his back. his usual confident smirk was nowhere to be found; instead, his expression held a tentative quality that made your chest ache with sudden, overwhelming relief. even anxious, he was devastating—the way his white hair caught the golden hour light like spun silk, how his broad shoulders seemed to fill the doorframe despite the uncertain set to them.
you fumbled with the lock, your hands trembling slightly as you let him in. “satoru,” you breathed, his name carrying more emotion than you’d intended, your fingers still wrapped around the cool metal of your keys. “i thought—”
“i know,” he said quickly, stepping inside and bringing with him the familiar scent of clean soap and something indefinably him. his free hand found the back of his neck, rubbing in a gesture you’d never seen before, vulnerability written in the uncertain tilt of his mouth. “i’m sorry. i had… things to take care of.” a pause, where he seemed to gather courage from somewhere deep. “i was going to come this morning, but then i realized i needed to do this properly.”
“do what properly?” you asked, your pulse hammering against your throat. the question came out softer than intended, curiosity and hope threading through your voice as you unconsciously stepped closer.
instead of answering, he brought his hidden hand forward, revealing a small bouquet that made your breath snag. white camellias, maybe a dozen of them, their petals perfect and pristine as fresh snow. in japan, you knew their meaning: you’re adorable. my destiny. in love with you. the message was clear, vulnerable, impossibly sweet.
satoru’s cheeks flushed the faintest pink as he watched your expression shift, the color spreading across his sculpted features like watercolor on paper. “i spent three hours at five different flower shops,” he admitted, his voice carrying that rare uncertainty that made him seem younger, more human. “the florist at the last one had to explain the meanings because apparently i’m hopeless at this.” his storm-glass eyes met yours, earnest and a little scared, the usual playful glint replaced by something raw and real. “but these… these felt right. they reminded me of yesterday. of that cake. of the way you looked at me when i said it was perfect.”
you took the bouquet with reverent hands, your fingertips brushing his in the transfer—a contact so brief it barely registered but electric enough to send warmth spiraling up your arms. the delicate petals felt like silk against your skin as you brought them closer, breathing in their subtle fragrance. “satoru,” you whispered, and the name came out like a sigh, like gratitude made sound. “they’re beautiful.”
relief flooded his features like sunlight breaking through clouds, and a hint of his usual confidence crept back into the curve of his mouth. those impossibly long lashes fluttered as he blinked, and when he smiled—really smiled, not the practiced grin from his instagram posts—it transformed his entire face. “i was hoping you’d say that. because i have a question to ask you, and i figured flowers might help my case.”
you looked up at him expectantly, your heart doing that familiar flutter-dance, clutching the camellias like an anchor.
“would you…” he started, then stopped, that hand finding his hair again, fingers raking through the white strands and leaving them slightly mussed. you’d never seen him this flustered, and it was endearing beyond words, the way his carefully maintained composure cracked to reveal something beautifully nervous underneath. “god, why is this harder than my first brand partnership pitch?” he muttered to himself, making you laugh despite your nerves.
the sound seemed to center him. “satoru,” you said gently, setting the flowers carefully on the counter, your movements deliberate and soft. “just ask.”
he took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling beneath his fitted black sweater, shoulders squaring as he found his resolve. “would you like to have dinner with me? tonight? there’s this place…” his voice gained momentum, words tumbling out like he was afraid he’d lose his nerve. “it’s small, nothing fancy, but they make the best karaage in shibuya, and their ramen is…” he trailed off, shaking his head with a self-deprecating smile that made your stomach flip. “i’m selling this terribly. what i’m trying to say is, it’s my favorite place. where i go when i need to feel grounded. and i want to share it with you.”
the vulnerability in his voice, the way he was offering you a piece of his private world, made your chest feel too small for your heart. you pressed your palms against the counter for stability, the cool surface grounding you as you processed the magnitude of what he was asking. “i’d love to,” you said simply, and watched his entire body relax with relief, tension melting from his shoulders like snow in spring.
“yeah?” he asked, that devastating smile breaking across his face like sunrise, eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that made you want to memorize every detail.
“yeah,” you confirmed, grinning back at him, your own smile feeling bright enough to power the whole cafe. “just let me grab my things.”
you found a small ceramic vase in your supply closet and arranged the camellias carefully, their white petals catching the last of the evening light. they looked perfect on your counter, a promise of something beautiful beginning. after gathering your cardigan and bag, locking up the cafe with hands that trembled only slightly, you turned to find satoru watching you with soft eyes, his gaze following your movements like he was cataloguing them for later.
“ready?” he asked, offering you his arm like an old-fashioned gentleman, the gesture somehow both casual and reverent.
“ready,” you replied, slipping your hand through the crook of his elbow and trying not to think about how perfectly you fit against his side, how solid and warm he felt beneath the soft fabric of his sweater.
the walk to his favorite restaurant took fifteen minutes through the bustling streets of shibuya. he guided you away from the main tourist areas, down narrow side streets where locals hurried past small family-owned shops and the air smelled like yakitori and car exhaust and the particular energy of tokyo at dinnertime. his free hand occasionally gestured as he talked, painting pictures in the air, and you found yourself watching the elegant line of his wrists, the way his long fingers moved with unconscious grace.
“nervous?” he asked as you walked, and you realized you’d been quieter than usual, too busy cataloguing the way his presence beside you made the familiar streets feel brand new.
“a little,” you admitted, your fingers tightening slightly on his arm. “good nervous, though.”
“me too,” he confessed, and the honesty in his voice made you look up at him in surprise. up close, you could see the faint freckles scattered across his nose, barely visible unless you were really looking. “i haven’t done this in a while. the whole… proper date thing.”
“what do you usually do?” you asked, then immediately regretted the question, your cheeks warming. “sorry, that’s none of my business.”
“no, it’s okay,” he said, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against your arm where your hand rested, the touch absent and soothing. “honestly? usually nothing this meaningful. protein bars in my apartment while editing content isn’t exactly romantic dinner material.” his laugh carried a note of self-deprecation that made you want to argue with him about his worth.
you laughed, the sound bright in the evening air, and felt him relax beside you. “well, you’re setting the bar pretty low for yourself.”
“exactly,” he grinned, and there was that practiced charm again, but softer somehow, more genuine. “smart strategy. exceed expectations by actually trying.”
the restaurant he led you to was tucked between a small bookshop and a traditional tea house, so narrow you almost missed it. the wooden sign above the door was weathered and simple: “momiji.” no english, no tourist-friendly decorations, just the kind of place locals protected fiercely from guidebook discovery.
inside was warm and cramped in the best possible way. maybe ten tables total, most occupied by older couples and small groups of friends talking quietly over steaming bowls. the air was rich with the smell of soy and garlic and chicken fat, and your stomach rumbled appreciatively, the sound making satoru’s mouth quirk with amusement.
“gojo-kun!” called out an elderly woman from behind the counter, her face lighting up with genuine affection that transformed her weathered features into something beautiful.
“evening, chiyo-san,” satoru replied, bowing slightly, and you watched his whole demeanor shift into something warmer, more relaxed. the careful influencer polish melted away, replaced by genuine fondness. “i brought someone special tonight.”
the woman’s eyes immediately shifted to you, taking in your simple cream-colored dress with the tiny floral print and the way satoru’s hand had found the small of your back as he guided you inside, his palm warm even through the fabric. her smile grew knowing, delighted, the expression of someone who’d been waiting for this moment. “ah, i see. the usual table?”
“please,” he said, and she led you to a small booth in the back corner, quieter and more intimate than the rest of the dining room.
as you settled across from each other, the worn wooden bench soft beneath you, you realized how different this felt from your morning encounters at the cafe. there, you’d had the safety of routine, the professional distance of counter service. here, with nothing between you but a small wooden table scarred with years of use and the soft glow of paper lanterns, the connection felt immediate, electric.
“so,” you said, glancing around the cozy space, your fingers playing with the hem of your dress, “how did you find this place?”
his expression grew thoughtful, a little nostalgic, and he leaned back against the booth. even relaxed, there was something elegant about the way he occupied space, long limbs arranged with unconscious grace. “my first year trying to make it as a competitive swimmer, i was broke. like, eating convenience store onigiri for every meal broke.” his fingers drummed against the table, a nervous habit you’d never noticed before. “but i’d just started posting gym content online—mostly because i was bored and thought my workout routines were decent enough to share. turns out people really liked watching me lift heavy things.” his grin turned almost smug, and you could see a hint of that cocky influencer confidence bleeding through. “went from the chubby kid getting laughed at in middle school to having people leave fire emojis on everything i posted. not gonna lie, the ego boost was incredible.”
you nearly choked on your own spit. “you were chubby?” the question came out before you could stop it, eyes widening as you tried to reconcile this information with the man sitting across from you—all sharp angles and lean muscle and the kind of physique that probably broke instagram servers on a regular basis.
his laugh was rich, genuinely amused by your shock. “hard to believe, right? but yeah, i was this round little kid who lived on baa-chan’s pastries and had absolutely zero athletic ability. got picked on pretty relentlessly for it too.” his expression grew more serious for a moment. “kids can be brutal about that stuff.”
“i can’t even imagine,” you said, still staring at him like he’d just revealed he used to be a completely different person. “you’re so…” you gestured vaguely at all of him, “you know.”
“devastatingly handsome?” he supplied with a grin that was pure mischief.
you rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. “i was going to say fit, but your ego doesn’t need any more help.”
“my ego is perfectly calibrated, thank you very much,” he said, taking another bite with obvious satisfaction. “six million followers can’t be wrong.”
“six million?” you nearly choked on your tea, your eyes widening in genuine shock. you’d known he was popular—the blue checkmark, the sudden influx of customers at your cafe—but that number was astronomical. you hadn't even looked when you’d first clicked on his profile, too stunned by the… scenery.
a flicker of confusion crossed his features, quickly replaced by a slow, amused smirk. he leaned forward, propping his chin on his hand, those storm-glass eyes sparkling with pure mischief. “wait a minute,” he said, his voice dropping to a low, teasing drawl. “you’re telling me you stalked my entire profile, ‘accidentally’ liked my abs, and you didn’t even clock the follower count?” his eyebrows rose in mock disbelief. “cupcake, were you that mesmerized?”
heat flooded your cheeks, a furious, mortifying blush. “it was an accident!” you insisted, your voice a little too high. “my phone slipped! literally! it fell on my face!”
he just laughed, a rich, delighted sound that made chiyo-san glance over with a fond smile. “sure it did. a very convenient, gravity-induced slip right onto the like button of my most recent thirst trap.” he leaned back, looking incredibly pleased with himself. “it’s okay to admit it. my content is very… engaging.”
“it was an accident,” you repeated through gritted teeth, though the corner of your mouth was twitching with a smile you were desperately trying to suppress. “i barely even noticed.”
“you noticed enough to get flustered when i walked into your cafe the next day,” he countered, his grin widening. “don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” he winked, a quick, devastatingly charming gesture.
you sighed in dramatic, feigned defeat, shaking your head in amused disbelief. here he was, this successful influencer with millions of people thirsting over his content, sitting in a tiny restaurant getting excited about karaage and still finding the time to relentlessly tease you about a two-month-old instagram mishap.
he gestured around the small restaurant with obvious affection, his smile softening, the teasing glint in his eyes receding as he switched back to the more serious topic. “anyway… that first real brand deal came through when i had a lot fewer followers than i do now. i wandered around for hours after i got the email, just buzzing, until i smelled chiyo-san’s karaage and… followed my nose. she fed me for about half what anywhere else would have charged, and when i tried to tip her, she refused. said young athletes needed to save their money for important things.”
“like what?” you asked, charmed by the story, by the way his whole face animated as he spoke.
“protein powder, apparently,” he laughed, the sound rich and genuine. “she’s been trying to fatten me up ever since. every time i come in, she adds extra portions and pretends not to notice.” his expression shifted, became more thoughtful. “funny thing is, she reminds me of my grandmother. same stubborn kindness, same inability to let people leave hungry.”
something in his voice made you lean forward slightly, sensing a story. “your grandmother?”
“baa-chan,” he said, and the childhood nickname made him look younger somehow, vulnerability flickering across his features like candlelight. “she lived with us when i was little. made the most incredible pastries—mont blanc, cream puffs, these little butter cookies shaped like flowers.” his fingers moved as he spoke, sketching shapes in the air. “i was… well, let’s just say i was a chubby kid with zero self-control around her baking.”
the admission came with a self-conscious laugh, and you watched him duck his head slightly, white hair falling across his forehead in a way that made your fingers itch to brush it back. “i probably ate my weight in cream puffs every week. my parents were horrified—kept talking about discipline and proper nutrition—but baa-chan would just smile and make me another batch.”
“what happened?” you asked softly, sensing the weight beneath his words.
“she died when i was twelve,” he said simply, but you caught the way his jaw tightened slightly, the old grief still tender. “that’s actually when i got serious about swimming. needed something to prove, you know? the chubby kid who got picked on suddenly had abs and could out-swim anyone.” his laugh held a note of old satisfaction. “worked pretty well too, until my shoulder decided otherwise at nineteen.” he shrugged, and there was something almost casual about it, like he’d made peace with that disappointment long ago. “funny thing though—turns out all that discipline translated perfectly to social media. and honestly? after years of being called names, having people thirst over my workout videos was… pretty addictive.”
the parallel wasn’t lost on you—him finding your bakery, the way he’d gravitated toward your humming, your pastries, your quiet care. your throat felt tight with understanding. “she sounds wonderful,” you managed, your voice softer than intended.
“she would have loved you,” he said, and the certainty in his voice made warmth bloom in your chest. “would have probably tried to steal all your recipes and then pretend she’d invented them herself.”
a soft, watery laugh escaped you at the image, a sound thick with an emotion you couldn't quite name. you reached across the small table, your fingers gently covering his where they rested on the wood. his own smile softened in response, and he turned his hand over to tangle his fingers with yours, giving them a gentle squeeze. “i think i would have liked her too,” you said, your voice a little shaky. “even with the threat of culinary espionage.”
as if summoned by your shared laughter, chiyo-san appeared at your table with a pot of jasmine tea and a knowing smile, her approach breaking the tender moment. “the usual for you, gojo-kun?”
“the usual sounds perfect,” he confirmed, then turned to you with a slightly sheepish expression, running his hand through his hair in that nervous gesture. “i hope you don’t mind me ordering for both of us. she knows what i like, and trust me, you want what i’m having.”
“i trust you,” you said, and something in his eyes flickered with pleasure at the words, his whole posture straightening slightly.
chiyo-san bustled away, and you found yourselves alone again in the warm bubble of the corner booth. the awkwardness you’d expected on a first date was nowhere to be found—instead, conversation flowed as easily as it did in your cafe, maybe easier without the professional barriers.
“so,” he said, leaning forward slightly, his elbows on the table, “tell me something i don’t know about you.”
you considered this, idly tracing patterns on the wooden table with your finger, the surface smooth from years of use. “i didn’t always want to run a bakery,” you admitted, glancing up to find his attention completely focused on you, those storm-glass eyes intent and curious. “i went to university for literature. thought i’d be a translator, maybe work in publishing.”
“what changed your mind?” his question came with that particular quality of attention he gave you—like you were the only person in the world worth listening to.
“my grandmother,” you said, and your smile carried the warmth of a thousand memories. “she taught me to bake when i was little. not recipes from books, but the kind of knowledge that lives in your hands. how to tell when dough is ready by feel, how to adjust for humidity, all those little secrets that make the difference between good and extraordinary.”
you paused as chiyo-san returned with plates of food—golden karaage chicken that smelled like heaven, perfectly chewy ramen with rich, cloudy broth, gyoza with crispy bottoms and tender tops, and several small dishes you didn’t recognize but immediately wanted to try. the portions were generous enough to feed a small army.
“this looks incredible,” you breathed, the savory aroma making your mouth water.
“chiyo-san’s love language is overfeeding people,” satoru explained, already reaching for his chopsticks with the practiced ease of someone who’d done this countless times. “but finish your story. about your grandmother.”
you took a tentative bite of the karaage and nearly made an embarrassing sound of pleasure at the perfect balance of crispy exterior and juicy interior, your eyes fluttering closed for just a moment. “oh my god, this is amazing.”
“right?” his smile was proud, like he’d made it himself, and you caught the way he watched you taste everything, cataloguing your reactions with obvious satisfaction. “best in the city. now keep talking.”
“well,” you continued between bites, your chopsticks moving with less grace than his but no less enthusiasm, “when she got sick, i took leave from my job to take care of her. we spent months baking together, and she made me promise to keep her recipes alive. not just the techniques, but the feeling behind them. the idea that food can be comfort, celebration, love made tangible.”
your voice grew softer, more vulnerable, and you found yourself looking down at your bowl. “she died two weeks before i was supposed to start my master’s program. instead of going back to school for my master's, i realized what i really wanted. i used my savings for culinary school instead, and then opened flour & sugar. some days i think she’d be proud. other days i wonder if i gave up too easily on my original dreams.”
satoru’s chopsticks stilled in his bowl, and when you looked up, his expression was gentle, understanding written in the soft set of his features. “you didn’t give up,” he said quietly, and there was conviction in his voice that made your chest tight. “you just found a different way to tell stories. every pastry you make, every customer you welcome—that’s narrative too. connection. meaning.”
the simple validation made your throat tight with emotion, and you had to blink back the sudden threat of tears. “you think so?”
“i know so,” he said firmly, leaning forward slightly, his intensity focused entirely on you. “because i’ve been living that story for two months now. every morning at 10:47, getting to be part of whatever magic you create in that little space.”
you felt heat bloom in your cheeks, partly from his words and partly from a sudden realization that had been nagging at you all evening. “satoru,” you started hesitantly, your fingers tightening around your chopsticks, “can i ask you something?”
“anything,” he said, then caught your serious tone and set down his chopsticks entirely, giving you his complete attention.
“your routine,” you said carefully, worrying your lower lip between your teeth, “your content schedule, your training… am i messing that up for you? because if masaru is angry, or if coming to the cafe is interfering with your workouts…”
he was quiet for a long moment, considering his response, and you watched emotions flicker across his face—surprise, thoughtfulness, something that might have been relief. when he spoke, his voice was thoughtful, honest.
“yes,” he said simply, and your heart sank until he continued, his mouth quirking into a rueful smile. “you’ve completely destroyed my routine. i used to plan content three weeks in advance. i had optimal posting times calculated to the minute. i scheduled my life in fifteen-minute increments for maximum engagement.”
“satoru—” you started, distress clear in your voice.
“let me finish,” he said gently, and there was something in his expression that made you settle back, though worry still thrummed beneath your skin. “you’ve ruined all of that. and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
you stared at him, confusion clear in your expression, your head tilting slightly in that way you had when you were trying to puzzle something out.
“for three years, since swimming didn’t work out, i’ve been pretty happy with what i built,” he continued, his hands gesturing as he spoke, and you found yourself watching the elegant movement of his fingers. “good content, solid following, enough brand deals to live comfortably. got to turn all that training discipline into something that actually pays the bills.” his smile was easy, confident. “and honestly? i was enjoying it. liked the routine, liked the control, liked seeing the numbers go up.”
he reached across the table, his fingers brushing against yours where they rested beside your ramen bowl, and the touch sent electricity racing up your arm. “but then i found your cafe, and suddenly i had something to look forward to that wasn’t about hitting my macros or optimal posting times. something that was just… nice. simple good. like that first bite of your chocolate tart, or the way you hum when you’re concentrating, or how you remember exactly how i like my matcha without me having to ask.”
his thumb traced across your knuckles, the touch feather-light but grounding, and you found yourself holding your breath. “masaru thinks i’ve gotten distracted, and he’s probably right. but honestly? i’m not complaining. life’s been pretty good to me, but this…” he gestured vaguely between you both, “this is something different. something better.”
the weight of his confession settled between you like a shared secret, and around you, the restaurant hummed with quiet conversation and clinking chopsticks, but you felt suspended in this moment, in the warm golden light and the earnestness in his eyes.
“so no,” he said, his voice dropping to something warm, genuine, meant only for you, “you’re not messing anything up. if anything, you’re making everything more interesting.”
you felt warmth bloom in your chest—relief, happiness, something sweet and uncomplicated swelling until you could barely contain your smile. “that’s either the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” you managed, your voice slightly wobbly as you turned your hand palm-up beneath his, fingers intertwining, “or you’re really good at making excuses for carb addiction.”
he threw back his head and laughed, the sound rich and delighted and completely unguarded, and the momentary emotional intensity dissolved into warmth, comfort, the easy joy of sharing a meal with someone who understood the shape of your heart.
“probably both,” he admitted, grinning as he brought your joined hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles that made your entire body feel warm. “masaru keeps leaving increasingly desperate notes in my gym locker. yesterday’s just said ‘vegetables exist, satoru.’”
“he’s not wrong,” you said, gesturing at the mountain of fried chicken between you with your free hand, though you made no move to let go of his. “this is not exactly influencer food.”
“which is why,” he said, reaching for another piece of karaage with his chopsticks, absolutely no shame in his expression, “we’re going to enjoy every single bite, and tomorrow i’ll do an extra workout. balance.”
you spent the next hour working through chiyo-san’s generous spread, talking about everything and nothing. he told you about growing up in a family that expected perfection, about the pressure of competition, about the crushing disappointment when his swimming career ended with a shoulder injury at nineteen. you shared stories about the early days of the cafe, the learning curve of small business ownership, the quiet satisfaction of creating something with your own hands.
the conversation flowed like you’d known each other for years instead of months, punctuated by his groans of appreciation for the food and your laughter at his increasingly dramatic descriptions of masaru’s passive-aggressive campaign to restore his “macro discipline.”
“he’s started leaving printed meal plans in my gym bag,” satoru confessed, twirling ramen noodles around his chopsticks with practiced ease, his expression one of amused exasperation. “like a nutrition-focused fairy, but more judgmental and with better organizational skills.”
“maybe you should introduce him to my neighbor,” you suggested, dabbing at a drop of broth on your chin with your napkin. “she leaves notes about proper composting technique on everyone’s door. they could bond over their shared love of unsolicited improvement projects.”
“god, can you imagine?” he grinned, his eyes crinkling with genuine mirth. “they’d have the most organized, health-conscious children in tokyo.”
by the time chiyo-san brought you perfectly ripe persimmons and more jasmine tea, the restaurant had begun to empty out. you’d somehow made it through most of the food—a feat that seemed impossible when the plates first arrived—and you felt full in the best possible way, warm and content and slightly drowsy from good food and better company.
“i should probably get you home,” satoru said eventually, though his tone suggested he’d rather do anything else, his thumb still tracing absent patterns across your knuckles. “it’s getting late, and you have to open tomorrow.”
“unfortunately,” you agreed, though you made no move to gather your things, reluctant to break the spell of the evening.
he signaled chiyo-san for the check, waving off your attempts to pay with a firm shake of his head that left no room for argument. “this was my idea,” he said, his voice carrying that quiet authority that probably served him well in business negotiations. “besides, you make me breakfast five days a week. it’s the least i can do.”
“that’s different,” you protested, your cheeks warming. “that’s business.”
“is it?” he asked, his eyes holding yours with an intensity that made your pulse skip, the question loaded with weeks of careful circling around each other. “because it hasn’t felt like business for a while now.”
heat bloomed in your cheeks, and you looked down at your hands, still tangled with his. “no,” you admitted quietly, the word barely above a whisper. “it hasn’t.”
he settled the bill with chiyo-san, who sent you off with a paper bag of extra gyoza “for tomorrow’s lunch” and promises that you were welcome back anytime, her knowing smile making it clear she approved of satoru’s choice. the night air was cool against your skin as you stepped outside, a pleasant contrast to the warm restaurant, and you pulled your cardigan closer around your shoulders.
“which direction?” satoru asked, offering his arm again, the gesture now familiar and comforting.
you pointed toward the quieter residential area a few blocks away, and he fell into step beside you, matching his longer stride to yours with the easy consideration that seemed to come naturally to him. the streets were less crowded now, mostly couples heading home from dinners and workers catching late trains.
“thank you,” you said as you walked, your hand warm in the crook of his elbow, feeling the solid strength of his arm beneath the soft fabric of his sweater. “for tonight. for the flowers. for… all of it.”
“thank you,” he replied, and there was something wondering in his voice, like he couldn’t quite believe his luck, “for saying yes. and for making that cake yesterday. i know it was for me.”
you felt a flutter of nervousness in your stomach, your steps faltering slightly. “was it that obvious?”
“the white chocolate feather was a dead giveaway,” he teased gently, his voice warm with affection, but then his expression grew more serious. “but even without that, i would have known. you put yourself into everything you create. it’s one of the things i…” he trailed off, suddenly uncertain.
“one of the things you what?” you prompted, though your heart was already beating faster, hope and fear warring in your chest.
just as he was about to answer, his phone buzzed sharply, shattering the quiet between you. he flinched, annoyance flashing across his face as he pulled it out. you caught masaru’s name before he silenced the call with a jab and shoved the phone back, sighing.
the fragile thread of his confession snapped. he looked away, jaw tight, then met your gaze again—this time not raw, but steadier, warmer, as though he’d chosen a safer honesty.
he stopped walking, turning to face you under the soft glow of a street lamp, the light casting golden highlights in his impossible hair. his hands found yours, warm and slightly callused and infinitely gentle, and the touch grounded you even as it sent your pulse racing. “
i had a really good time tonight,” he said quietly, his storm-glass eyes searching your face with an intensity that made your breath catch. “like, really good. better than good.”
the words hung in the air between you, warm and honest and making your heart do that familiar flutter-dance in your chest. you felt your breath catch, your entire world narrowing to this moment, this quiet confession, the way he was looking at you like you were something wonderful and unexpected.
“me too,” you whispered, your voice full of wonder and possibility.
he looked like he wanted to kiss you then. you could see it in the way his eyes dropped to your lips for a fraction of a second, the slight parting of his own. you wanted him to. you wanted it more than you’d wanted anything in a long time. but the moment stretched, suspended and fragile, and neither of you moved. the spell broke when a car passed, its headlights momentarily blinding you both, and the chance was gone.
he cleared his throat, a faint flush on his cheeks, and let go of one of your hands. “we should… get you home.”
the rest of the walk passed in a charged, comfortable silence. the unspoken moment from the streetlamp hung between you, electric and full of promise.
“this is me,” you said as you reached the small apartment building where you lived above a quiet bookshop, the familiar sight made new by his presence beside you. the white camellias waiting in your cafe felt like they were calling to you, a promise of sweet tomorrows.
he stopped at the entrance, his hands finding the pockets of his cargo pants. “well… goodnight, cupcake.” there was a touch of awkwardness in his posture, a reluctance to leave that was both sweet and agonizing.
“goodnight, satoru.”
he lingered for a beat longer, his storm-glass eyes holding yours. you knew if you didn’t do something now, the night would end on this note of sweet, unresolved tension. and that simply wouldn’t do.
before you could lose your nerve, you reached up, your fingers finding the soft collar of his sweater. he looked down at you, surprise widening his eyes. with a soft tug, you pulled his head down towards you. even then, with his six-foot-plus frame bent, you still had to rise up on your tiptoes, stretching to reach him.
it wasn’t his lips you found. it was his cheek. you pressed a soft, quick, deliberate kiss to the spot just beside his mouth, your own lips lingering for just a fraction of a second against his skin. it was warm, smooth, and felt impossibly intimate.
“bye,” you whispered against his cheek, then you pulled back, let go of his sweater, and practically fled—turning and rushing up the steps to your building’s entrance without a backward glance, your cheeks absolutely on fire.
satoru stood frozen on the sidewalk for a full minute after your door clicked shut, stunned into immobility. slowly, his fingers came up to touch the spot on his cheek where your lips had been. a slow, genuine, devastatingly happy smile spread across his face, unguarded and brilliant under the streetlight.
inside, you leaned your back against the cool wood of your apartment door, your heart hammering against your ribs. you brought a trembling hand up to your own lips, a disbelieving laugh bubbling up in your chest. a mix of pure terror and giddy exhilaration coursed through you. what did you just do?
a moment later, your phone buzzed in your bag with a familiar notification sound. you fumbled for it, your hands still shaking, and saw the instagram icon on your screen. it was him. a new message.
squatoru: you missed 😉 but thank you. see you tomorrow, cupcake.
you stared at the screen, a wide, foolish grin spreading across your face. the teasing emoji, the playful admonishment through the same app where this all started, the sweet promise of “tomorrow”—it was perfect. it was everything.
your heart did complicated acrobatics as you typed back a simple, breathless reply. tomorrow, you decided as you got ready for bed, still smiling at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you were going to make him something even better than that cake. something that tasted like jasmine tea and stolen kisses and the beginning of something beautiful.
after all, you had a story to tell. and now you had someone who wanted to read every chapter, someone who understood that the best stories weren’t the ones you planned, but the ones that found you when you were busy making other, smaller plans. and you couldn't wait to see what happened in the next chapter.
the weeks following your first date settled into a new, delicious rhythm. satoru’s visits were no longer just a feature of your mornings—they were the anchor around which the day pivoted. his excuses grew bolder, more ridiculous, delivered with a playful glint in his eyes that dared you to call his bluff. “my coffee machine is staging a protest,” he’d declared one monday, looking deeply offended. “it refuses to respect my caffeine requirements.” another time, he’d claimed he was performing a “long-term atmospheric study” of the cafe.
the tentative space between you had warmed, filled with inside jokes murmured over the counter and a steady stream of late-night texts that ranged from his profound thoughts on protein-to-carb ratios to blurry photos of his cat sleeping on his face. yet, for all the new intimacy, an invisible line remained, drawn somewhere between a shared laugh and the memory of a soft, hesitant kiss on a quiet street corner. the air between you hummed with a constant, unspoken question.
which brought you to this thursday.
the afternoon had bled into soft golden-hour evening, the last loyal customers drifting out into cooling air, leaving behind lingering coffee scent and quiet refrigerator hum.
you were twenty minutes from closing, moving through your end-of-day routine with practiced, meditative rhythm. wiping down the gleaming stainless steel counters, the sharp sanitizer scent cutting through the day’s symphony of sugar and butter. humming a soft, unidentifiable tune that filled the empty space like invisible thread weaving through silence.
he was still there. satoru. at his usual table, fortress of one, half-empty matcha latte sweating onto a coaster. he was pretending to work on his sleek, expensive laptop that seemed alien in the cozy analog warmth of your café. but the screen had been dark for ten minutes, its black surface reflecting the warm, buttery pendant light glow.
he was just watching you. watching you move through your closing routine with the kind of quiet, unwavering attention usually reserved for things you never want to forget. his focus was a tangible weight between your shoulder blades.
“you know,” he says suddenly, his voice a low, unexpected rumble that cuts through the comfortable silence, startling you from your rhythmic wiping. those long fingers drummed a restless, silent rhythm against the closed laptop—a nervous tell you’d never seen from satoru gojo before. the man who moved through the world like he owned it was nervous. the realization sent a warm, unfamiliar jolt through you.
you paused, cloth in hand, leaning a hip against the counter. the setting sun slanted through the large front window, catching the silver strands of his hair, turning them to spun gold. “what’s that? wondering if i’m ever going to kick you out so i can finally go home?”
he smiled, a slow, easy stretch that didn’t quite reach his storm-glass eyes. there was something different there today, a depth you hadn’t seen before. “something like that,” he admitted, his voice softer. he closed the laptop with a quiet click, the sound definitive, final. “how long does it actually take to learn? to do what you do?”
this wasn’t his casual, playful curiosity from before. not banter about his “research methodology.” this was deeper. vulnerable. it made your breath catch in ways that had nothing to do with flour dust.
“depends what you want to learn,” you said carefully, your voice quiet in the empty café, sensing the delicate shift in the air between you. you placed the cleaning cloth on the counter, giving him your full attention.
“everything.” the word hung in the air, heavy with unspoken meaning. he stood, unfolding from his chair with fluid grace that was at odds with the tension in his shoulders. all that easy, performative confidence had been stripped away, replaced by something raw and honest. “i want to understand it all. the whole process. from scratch.”
you turned to look at him properly, taking in the way he watched you with those impossible eyes, the slight tension in his jaw like he was bracing for rejection. “from scratch?” you echoed, a faint disbelieving hum in your throat. “satoru, that’s... that would take a while. it’s not just following recipes. it’s feel. touch. intuition you build over years.”
“i know,” he said, his gaze unwavering. he took a step closer, then another, until he was leaning against the counter opposite you, the broad stainless steel expanse the only separation. the space felt charged, intimate. “i’ve been watching you. it’s different. the way you work. there’s patience to it. respect for the ingredients.” his voice dropped lower, more intimate. “i want to understand what it feels like to create something like you do. not just consume it.”
the confession, earnest and stripped of his usual charm, rewired something fundamental in your chest. he wasn’t just talking about baking. he was talking about meaning, purpose—things you never would have associated with the man who posted thirst traps for a living.
“that would take months, maybe longer,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.
“i’ve got time,” he said immediately, the words a quiet, fervent promise. he pushed off the counter, moving around it until he was standing in your workspace, in your world. he was close enough that you could smell the faint clean scent of his cologne, the subtle matcha sweetness on his breath. “we could start tonight. if you want. something simple.”
your heart hammered against your ribs, a frantic bird trapped in your chest. you realized what he was really asking for. not just lessons. not just a hobby. your time, your space, a piece of your world. he was asking for you.
“it’s almost closing time, satoru,” you managed, the words a weak protest against the overwhelming tide of his sincerity.
“i know.” another step closer. his storm-glass eyes were dark, intense, searching yours. “perfect timing, actually. no interruptions.”
you hesitated, suddenly acutely aware of how empty the café felt, how the golden late-afternoon light streaming through the windows made everything feel dreamlike and charged. you could hear the soft refrigerator hum, the quiet clock ticking, the frantic thumping of your own heart. he saw your pause, the flicker of uncertainty in your eyes, and something shifted in his expression—doubt maybe, disappointment that made your chest ache.
“unless you’re too tired,” he started, his voice suddenly losing its confident edge, “or you have plans, or this is a stupid idea, or—”
“no!” the word came out too enthusiastic, cutting him off. you felt a mortifying blush creep up your neck. you cleared your throat, trying to regain some composure. “i mean, yes. we could do that. tonight.”
the smile that spread across his face was different from any you’d seen before. not his usual cocky smirk, nor the playful teasing grin. this one was softer, more genuine, tinged with profound relief and something that looked dangerously like joy. it transformed his entire face, made him look younger, more vulnerable. utterly beautiful.
“yeah?” he breathed, the single word full of hopeful, boyish charm that completely undid you.
“yeah,” you confirmed, a real, unguarded smile finally breaking through your professional facade. “but you’re on dish duty.”
he laughed, a bright, relieved sound that echoed in the quiet café, and in that moment something fragile and beautiful and terrifying was born between you.
you settled on chocolate soufflé. it felt appropriate—impressive enough to justify the extended after-hours lesson, but delicate enough to require real technique and timing. a challenge worthy of his newfound sincerity.
you flipped the sign to ‘closed’, the soft lock click echoing in the silence. you dimmed the front lights, leaving just the warm, focused glow of the kitchen workspace, creating an intimate golden bubble just for the two of you.
“soufflé?” he raised an eyebrow as you pulled out ramekins, his voice a low, amused rumble. he was leaning against the prep counter, watching with an intensity that made your skin prickle. he’d shed his expensive long-sleeved shirt, revealing a plain black t-shirt that clung to every powerful line of his torso. no designer labels, no carefully tousled hair. he looked simpler. more real. and almost nervous, a faint tension in his broad shoulders that you found ridiculously endearing. “isn’t that supposed to be impossible? the final boss of desserts?”
“only if you don’t understand the science,” you said, gathering your hair with practiced efficiency, tying it back. you felt his eyes on the nape of your neck, a warm focused heat. you started humming under your breath, a soft melody that always accompanied your more delicate work. “it’s all about incorporating air properly, then not letting it collapse. it’s very... temperamental.”
the word hung suspended in the chocolate-scented air, heavy with obvious double meaning. his storm-glass eyes darkened slightly, a slow knowing smile touching his lips.
“first, we make the base,” you explained, your voice slightly breathy as you turned to face him. you showed him how to melt dark chocolate with butter in a double boiler, the rich intoxicating scent starting to fill the air. “low and slow. you can’t rush it, or everything seizes up. gets bitter.”
he stood beside you, closer than necessary, watching intently as you stirred the mixture with a wooden spoon, the chocolate melting into a glossy dark pool. when you handed the spoon over, his fingers brushed yours, a brief electric touch that sent a jolt up your arm.
“like this?” his voice was a low murmur as he mimicked your gentle circular motions. his focus was absolute, his usual playful energy replaced by quiet, earnest concentration that made something warm bloom in your chest.
“perfect. keep that rhythm.” when he started stirring just a little too fast, a little too aggressively, he moved behind you to adjust the motion. his broad chest pressed against your back as he covered your hand with his much larger one, and you went completely still. the solid wall of muscle behind you made thinking suddenly impossible. you could feel every shift of his torso, the way his breathing had gotten slightly unsteady, the heat radiating through his thin t-shirt. “feel how it’s getting smoother? the proteins are relaxing. you have to be gentle,” you managed, voice breathless and unsteady.
“sorry, cupcake,” he murmured against the top of your head, voice soft and slightly shaky. “i’m... not usually this nervous about stirring things.” there was wonder in his tone, like he couldn’t quite believe he was here, doing this with you.
his voice was a low, rough growl when he answered. “kind of hard to focus with you pressed against me like this, cupcake.”
but the real intimacy, the real danger, came with the egg whites. you separated them with practiced grace, the yolks and whites parting cleanly. when you handed him the large copper bowl and the whisk, he looked genuinely intimidated, like you’d just handed him a live grenade.
“this is the make-or-break moment,” you told him, your voice soft but firm. you showed him the copper bowl, the clear viscous whites shimmering within. “the whites need to be perfect—not under-whisked, not over-whisked. just right. perfect stiff peaks.”
he started whisking, and it was all wrong. too aggressive, too fast, his powerful shoulders putting way too much force into it. the whites started foaming unevenly, large sloppy bubbles forming instead of the fine consistent foam you needed.
“no, no,” you said, looking up at his technique with barely contained laughter. “gentle at first, then build up. like this. it’s not about strength—it’s about rhythm.”
he stepped behind you with obvious reluctance, like he wasn’t quite sure this was a good idea either. “show me,” he said, voice slightly strained. his much larger hands covered yours on the whisk handle, his chest pressed against your back as he leaned over your shoulder to watch the bowl. the solid wall of muscle behind you made your pulse stutter, and you could tell from his uneven breathing that he was just as affected. “this is... harder than it looks,” he murmured, clearly talking about more than whisking.
“slow circles first,” you managed, acutely aware of how he was bracketing you, the clean scent of his cologne mixing with lingering chocolate. you started the motion, and he followed your rhythm with careful precision, his hands slightly unsteady over yours. you felt him lean down, his breath warm against your ear, and you had to bite back a nervous giggle at how ridiculous this all was. “feel the resistance change? now we can go faster.”
“this is torture,” he said softly, but there was fondness in his voice, like he was amazed by his own predicament. when you sped up the whisking motion, his body moved with yours, and he let out a soft, almost helpless sound that made you want to turn around and kiss the dazed expression you knew was on his face.
“they’re getting stiff,” he said, his voice rough, strained.
“perfect stiff peaks,” you agreed, your own voice shaky, though you were definitely talking about more than egg whites now. the air was thick with unspoken things, with the scent of chocolate and the clean masculine smell of him. “now comes the tricky part.”
“but first,” you said, reaching for the small container of flour from a nearby shelf, “let me just...” you dipped your fingers into the white powder, then without warning, dabbed it across his cheek, leaving a pale streak across his sharp cheekbone.
he went completely still, his storm-glass eyes widening in surprise. “did you just—”
“oops,” you said innocently, but the smile tugging at your lips gave you away. “occupational hazard. flour gets everywhere in real kitchens.”
a slow, dangerous smile spread across his face. “is that so?” he reached for the flour container, dipped his own fingers. before you could react, he’d brushed powder across your nose, a gentle touch that made your breath catch. “seems like you’re right. very hazardous.”
what followed was gentle chaos. a playful flour fight that had you both laughing breathlessly, white powder dusting your hair and clothes and every surface within reach. he was careful not to be too aggressive, but his competitive streak showed when he managed to get a handful down the back of your apron.
“satoru!” you squeaked, arching away from the cold powder, which only pressed you closer against his chest. he was grinning down at you, flour in his silver hair making him look younger, more carefree than you’d ever seen him.
“what? you started it, cupcake.” his voice was warm with laughter, his hands settling on your waist to steady you. “just evening the playing field.”
“we’re supposed to be baking,” you protested weakly, but you were smiling too hard to sound stern. you hummed a soft laugh that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.
“we are baking,” he said solemnly, though his eyes sparkled with mischief. “this is... technique development. very important for proper soufflé preparation.”
“technique development,” you repeated skeptically.
“absolutely. building trust between chef and... sous chef.” his fingers tightened slightly on your waist. “can’t make good food without trust, right?”
something in his voice made you look up at him properly. you were both flour-streaked and disheveled, hair messed and clothes dusty, but his expression was soft, genuine. like he was asking about more than just cooking.
“right,” you agreed quietly. “trust is... essential.”
the moment stretched between you, charged with possibility, until the timer on your phone chimed a reminder about the chocolate base.
“folding is an art,” you told him after you’d both brushed off the worst of the flour, your voice a low murmur as you spooned a third of the whipped egg whites into the chocolate base. you started humming again, a soft tune that helped organize your movements. “too rough, and you’ll knock out all the air we just built up. too gentle, and it won’t incorporate properly.”
you demonstrated the motion—a gentle lift up from the bottom, a turn of the spoon, a clean cut down through the mixture. it was graceful, practiced, almost hypnotic. a quiet ballet of the hands.
“your turn,” you said, handing him the spoon, your eyes locking with his over the bowl. his were dark, almost black, pupils blown wide.
his first attempts were clumsy, awkward. he was trying to stir, not fold, and you could see the frustration building in the tense set of his shoulders.
“here,” you murmured, gesturing for him to step behind you again. “it’s easier if you can see the motion properly.” this time when he moved to stand behind you, his positioning was more natural but no less distracting—his height allowing him to look over your shoulder easily, though he seemed to be having trouble concentrating on anything but the way you fit against his chest.
you demonstrated the folding motion with him watching intently, his breath tickling your ear. “lift... turn... cut down,” you guided softly, trying to ignore how his hands trembled slightly when they covered yours. “it’s all about the wrist action. gentle but firm.”
the double entendre hung in the air, and you felt him go completely still behind you, then let out a quiet, slightly hysterical laugh. “you’re killing me here, cupcake,” he said, voice strained but fond. “i’m trying to be a gentleman.”
“like that?” he asked when you guided him through the motion, voice breathless and wondering, like he couldn’t quite believe he was here doing this with you.
“exactly like that,” you whispered back, your own voice soft with affection and barely contained laughter at how completely gone you both were. “you’re a natural.”
the confession, so simple and true, settled between you like flour in still air, impossible to take back. you didn’t step away this time. you couldn’t. instead, your hands tightened over his on the spoon, a silent mutual acknowledgment that this had stopped being about baking.
“satoru,” you whispered, his name a soft questioning sound against his skin.
he turned in your arms, the movement slow, deliberate, until you were pressed between his warm solid chest and the cool unyielding edge of the counter. the spoon was forgotten, clattering onto the prep surface as his hands, large and warm and sure, found your waist.
what started as one soft, hesitant kiss, a question asked and answered, became something hungrier, deeper. your hands fisted in the soft cotton of his t-shirt, pulling him closer, and he responded by lifting you easily, effortlessly, onto the prep counter, his strength making you feel cherished and utterly safe.
“we should... put the soufflés in the oven,” you breathed against his mouth, your mind vaguely aware of the prepared ramekins sitting nearby, waiting.
“in a minute,” he murmured back, his hands spanning your waist, his thumbs brushing the sensitive skin under your ribs, sending shivers through you. “i like you messy, cupcake. flour suits you.”
his mouth trailed down your throat, a hot open-mouthed path that made you arch into him, your legs wrapping around his waist to pull him impossibly closer. he groaned softly at the contact, the sound a deep guttural vibration against your collarbone that made your entire body hum with want.
“they’ll collapse if we wait too long,” you tried again, halfheartedly, your fingers tangling in the soft silver strands of his hair.
“then we’ll make new ones,” he said against your skin, his voice a low possessive growl. he pulled back just enough to look at you, his storm-glass eyes dark with a want so profound it stole the air from your lungs. “but i’ve been thinking about this for weeks, cupcake. thinking about you. about what it would feel like to have you in my arms, in my kitchen.”
his mouth found yours again, a deep, possessive kiss that spoke of weeks of pent-up longing, restraint finally shattering. it felt like surrender, a point of no return—until your eyes fluttered open and caught on the copper bowl behind him. the glossy egg whites, the soul of the soufflé, were already softening. the baker in you screamed in silent protest.
your palms pressed to his chest, firm but trembling. “satoru, wait,” you breathed, lips brushing his. “the soufflé—the egg whites will collapse.”
he groaned, burying his face in your neck for one tortured beat before pulling back. the panic in your eyes softened his frustration into something fonder, and a wicked smile tugged at his lips.
“can’t have that,” he murmured. “a collapsed soufflé on my first lesson? my record would be ruined.” he stole one last hard kiss. “okay, chef. lead the way.”
the shift back to the task was electric. the air was thick with what almost happened, and what was definitely going to happen later. with trembling legs, you slid off the counter, your body buzzing with unspent energy.
somehow, between shaking hands and the distraction of his solid presence behind you, you managed to get the soufflé mixture into the ramekins and slide them into the preheated oven. your movements were less precise than usual, some ramekins fuller than others, your usual perfectionist tendencies completely derailed by the heat radiating from his body every time he leaned close.
“and now we wait,” you said, stepping back from the oven and immediately missing the warmth of him behind you.
“twelve minutes,” he repeated, voice rough around the edges. he ran a hand through his silver hair, leaving it more disheveled than usual. “what do we do for twelve minutes?”
“try not to think about them,” you managed, wiping your flour-dusted hands on your apron with nervous energy. “soufflés can sense anxiety.”
“well, that explains a lot,” he said, that crooked smile making your pulse skip. “i’m the human embodiment of anxiety right now.”
the twelve minutes crawled by with painful slowness. you cleaned up together, hyperaware of every accidental brush of fingers, every time he had to reach around you for something. the domesticity of it was strange and intoxicating—him washing dishes while you wiped surfaces, both stealing glances at each other and the oven door.
when the timer finally shrieked, you both jumped like guilty teenagers.
you opened the oven door with trembling hands, and a cloud of warm, chocolate-scented air enveloped you. your heart did a little flip. they’d risen, yes, but unevenly—some tall and proud, others slightly lopsided, one that had clearly gotten too much mixture and was threatening to spill over its ramekin in a delicious, molten wave. they were messy. they were imperfect. they were theirs.
“oh,” satoru said softly from beside you, and you could hear the genuine disappointment creeping into his voice as he took in the imperfect results. his broad shoulders slumped just a fraction, a quiet admission of his high expectations meeting a messy reality.
you turned to face him, a gentle, reassuring smile on your lips as you caught the slight downturn of his mouth. it was an expression you’d never seen on him before—not arrogance, not charm, but a boyish, sulky pout that was ridiculously endearing.
“hey,” you said softly, nudging his arm with your shoulder. “it’s your first time making one of the most notoriously difficult pastries in the world. and,” you added, your voice dropping to a warmer, more intimate tone, “they’re made with love. that’s what really matters, right?”
he looked down at you with those storm-glass eyes, something soft and vulnerable flickering there. “but yours are always perfect,” he retorted, his voice a low, almost mournful grumble. “everything you make is always perfect and made with love. it’s not fair.”
heat crept up your neck at the raw sincerity in his voice, the way he was looking at you like you’d hung the moon and personally arranged the stars. the compliment, born from his own momentary failure, felt more potent than any of his previous praise. “satoru…”
“what? it’s true.” a hint of his usual confidence returned as he grabbed two spoons from the drawer, his movements decisive. he handed you one, but his expression was still earnest. “you need to taste it. for science. to confirm that my love-infused-but-lopsided soufflé is still edible.”
the first bite was molten chocolate heaven, rich and airy despite the uneven appearance. you made a soft, involuntary sound of appreciation, your eyes fluttering closed for just a second. when you opened them, he was watching you, a hopeful, almost anxious look on his face.
“good?” he asked, taking his own first, tentative spoonful.
instead of answering with words, you scooped up another bite from the messy, overflowing ramekin—his ramekin. you held it out to him, surprising yourself with the easy intimacy of the gesture. “you tell me.”
his eyes went wide for a moment before a slow, devastating smile spread across his face. he leaned forward, his lips closing around the spoon you offered in a way that made your pulse stutter. the soft, pleased sound he made, his own eyes fluttering closed in bliss, sent a wave of heat spiraling through your chest.
“incredible,” he breathed, his gaze locking with yours, dark and full of a wonder that had nothing to do with the chocolate. then, a mischievous glint returned. he scooped up some of his own. “your turn.”
you leaned forward to accept the bite he offered, hyperaware of how his gaze tracked the movement of your lips around the spoon. the chocolate was perfect—rich and warm and somehow tasting even better when he was the one feeding it to you.
“this is ridiculous,” you murmured, but you were smiling, caught up in the sweetness of the moment.
“ridiculously perfect,” he agreed, then leaned closer, eyes dark with intent. “you’ve got chocolate...”
instead of telling you where, he kissed you, slow and sweet and tasting of molten chocolate and something like joy. when he pulled back just enough to speak, his lips barely brushing yours, you were both breathing unsteadily.
“found it,” he murmured against your mouth, then kissed you again, deeper this time.
the spoons clattered forgotten to the counter as his hands found your waist, lifting you easily onto the prep surface. your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, pulling him closer as his mouth moved against yours with increasing hunger.
“satoru,” you gasped between kisses, your hands fisting in his t-shirt.
“been thinking about this,” he confessed against your throat, his voice rough with want. “been thinking about you. for weeks.”
his mouth trailed soft kisses along your jaw, your neck, finding that sensitive spot that made you gasp and laugh at the same time. “been thinking about this,” he confessed against your throat, voice full of wonder like he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. “been thinking about you. driving myself crazy for weeks.”
your fingers tangled in his silver hair, and he practically melted into the touch, letting out a soft, almost reverent sigh. “you’re ridiculous,” you murmured fondly, then squeaked when he found that particularly sensitive spot again. “and apparently very good at distracting people from baking.”
“i’m a man of many talents,” he said against your skin, then pulled back to look at you with that boyish grin that made your heart do stupid things. “though i have to say, this is my new favorite.”
what started as one soft, hesitant kiss, a question asked and answered, became something hungrier, deeper. your hands fisted in the soft cotton of his t-shirt, pulling him closer, and he responded by lifting you easily, effortlessly, onto the prep counter, his strength making you feel small and cherished and utterly safe.
he groans into your mouth, a low, guttural sound of surrender. his hands, large and sure, span your waist before sliding down, gripping your hips with a possessive strength that makes your breath catch. with an effortless display of power, he lifts you, settling you back onto the cool, flour-dusted prep counter without breaking the kiss. you are surrounded by him, pinned between his hard body and the solid surface, the intoxicating scent of him—clean soap, expensive cologne, and a faint, sweet hint of matcha—filling your senses.
he breaks the kiss, pulling back just enough to look at you, his storm-glass eyes dark with a want so profound it makes you dizzy. his breathing is ragged, his chest rising and falling heavily. he rests his forehead against yours for a moment, a quiet beat in the rising storm, as if to center himself.
“been wanting to do that,” he murmurs, his voice a low, rough growl, “since the first time i saw you wipe flour on your apron.” his thumbs trace slow, hypnotic circles on your hips. “weeks, cupcake. i’ve been going out of my mind.”
the raw honesty in his voice, stripped of all its usual playful charm, makes your heart hammer against your ribs. you can only nod, your fingers still tangled in the soft fabric of his shirt.
he straightens up slightly, his gaze dropping to the simple, practical dress you wear for work. a slow, wicked smirk begins to curve his lips. “this has got to go,” he decides, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. he reaches for the small zipper at the back of your neck, his knuckles brushing against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “can’t properly appreciate the artistry with all this… fabric in the way.”
a wave of shyness washes over you, and your hands instinctively move to cover his. “satoru, wait…”
he pauses, his large, warm hand gently covering yours. he brings your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles, his storm-glass eyes holding yours, suddenly tender. “hey,” he whispers. “it’s just me. just us. i want to see you. all of you.” the sincerity in his voice, the quiet plea in his eyes, melts your resistance. you slowly, hesitantly, release his hand.
with a triumphant but gentle smile, he unzips your dress, the sound loud in the quiet kitchen. he peels the fabric from your shoulders with a reverence that makes you feel cherished, not exposed. he lets the dress pool around your waist, revealing the simple cotton bra and bloomers you wear for comfort during long hours on your feet. he unhooks your bra with practiced ease, his fingers deft and sure, letting it fall away.
his breath hitches. “fuck, you’re beautiful,” he breathes, his gaze sweeping over you with an almost worshipful intensity. his eyes, so often a playful, teasing blue, are now dark with a raw, unadulterated awe. he reaches out, his fingers tracing the curve of your collarbone, the swell of your breast, as if memorizing your shape. “so perfect.”
he breaks away for a moment, and you hear the soft hiss of a canister. he returns with the whipped cream you’d left out from the cupcake prep, a playful, predatory glint in his eyes that makes your stomach do a frantic flip.
“what are you doing?” you whisper, your voice shaky, a nervous laugh bubbling up in your throat.
“you make perfect things all day,” he murmurs, his voice a low, husky rumble, as he steps back between your legs. “so sweet. so delicious.” his hand slides up your thigh, his touch warm and sure. “it’s only fair i get to make you my pastry for once.” he shakes the can, the sound a playful rattle. “for research, of course.”
you watch, a mixture of terror and fascination, as he aims the nozzle. “satoru, that’s going to be… cold,” you manage, a faint note of protest in your voice.
“i’ll warm you up,” he promises, his eyes dark with intent.
he doesn't start where you expect. he sprays a small, perfect dollop of whipped cream on your inner thigh, right above your knee. the cold shock makes you gasp, your legs instinctively trying to close. he just chuckles, a low, pleased sound, and holds them gently in place. he leans down, his silver hair brushing against your leg like spun silk, and licks the cream away in one slow, deliberate swipe. his eyes flutter closed as he savors the taste. his gaze lifts to meet yours, dark and heavy-lidded. “delicious.”
he moves up, a slow, methodical artist at work. he sprays a delicate swirl on your hip, another on the sensitive skin of your stomach, just above your navel, each cold touch followed by the hot, wet warmth of his mouth. he’s decorating you, his movements precise and artful. his final touches are the most deliberate: two perfect, delicate rosettes piped directly onto your nipples. the intense cold makes them pebble instantly, and you cry out, a sharp, surprised sound.
“look at that,” he breathes, admiring his handiwork, his voice thick with a possessive pride. “my perfect little cupcake. so pretty.” he leans in and devours his creation, his tongue tracing the swirl on one nipple before he takes the entire hardened peak into his mouth, licking and sucking the sweet cream away until you’re writhing on the counter, your fingers fisting in his hair. he gives the other nipple the same reverent, all-consuming attention, his praise a constant, filthy murmur against your skin. “so sweet… knew you would be… perfect for me…”
his attention then moves lower, his mouth trailing a hot, wet path down your stomach, licking away every last trace of cream. his hands find the waistband of your bloomers, then the delicate lace of your panties beneath. he doesn't remove them. instead, he hooks his fingers in the elastic, pulling the fabric taut, creating a perfect frame for the sight of you. you’re already dripping for him, the thin lace dark and damp with your arousal. he groans, a low, satisfied sound against your skin. “look at how wet you are, pretty girl. already melting for me.”
he doesn't push the fabric aside. he presses his mouth right against the damp lace, the slightly rough texture an immediate, shocking friction against your sensitive flesh. his tongue darts out, tracing the outline of your folds through the material, mapping you. the friction is maddening, a delicious, textured pleasure that makes you cry out, your hips lifting instinctively from the counter. he laps at you, teases you, soaking the lace until it clings to you like a second skin.
“so sweet,” he pants against you. “i can taste you right through your panties. fuck, that’s so hot.” his praise is relentless, a filthy, hypnotic mantra. “that’s it, let it go for me… soak yourself for me… i’m going to taste every drop…”
then, the teasing stops. he positions his mouth directly over the heart of you, and with a low groan, he pushes the tip of his tongue firmly against the lace, right over your entrance. he doesn't just lick, he fucks. he presses his tongue into you, a firm, insistent pressure that mimics the head of a cock, working his way into your channel through the thin barrier of fabric. the sensation is overwhelming, a dull, deep friction that sends shockwaves straight to your core.
he moves with a steady, relentless rhythm, his entire focus narrowed on this single, filthy act—fucking you through your own panties. you can feel the lace stretching, rubbing, a maddeningly indirect stimulation that is somehow more intense than direct contact. he works you like this for long, torturous moments, his breath hot and ragged, until your mind goes blank with overwhelming pleasure.
with a choked sob, you come, your body convulsing on the counter, your inner muscles clenching with a helpless, shattering release.
he stays there, lapping up the fresh wave of your release through the lace, until the last of your shudders subside. then, and only then, does he pull back, a triumphant, proprietary smirk on his lips. he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of your soaked panties and bloomers, pulling them down your legs with a slow, deliberate motion, tossing them aside.
“oh, pretty girl,” he says, his voice a low, teasing drawl as he looks at the damp, glistening evidence of your pleasure on the counter beneath you. “you made a mess.” he tuts playfully, shaking his head. “we can’t have that. health hazard, you know. very unprofessional.”
before you can respond, a mortified blush heating your cheeks, he’s leaning in, his tongue darting out to clean you up, licking the sticky wetness from the cool stainless steel. his thoroughness is both humiliating and unbelievably arousing.
when he’s finished, he looks up at you, his eyes dark and hungry. “all clean,” he purrs. “but i think i missed a spot.”
he reaches for the whipped cream canister again. your eyes widen. “satoru, no…” you breathe, a weak, helpless laugh escaping you.
“satoru, yes,” he corrects, his grin wicked.
this time, he sprays a single, perfect, generous dollop right onto your swollen, hyper-sensitive clit. the cold shock makes you gasp, your hips lifting off the counter, a sound that is half protest, half plea.
he watches the cream start to melt against your heat, a slow, decadent drip. “now, for the final, most important detail,” he whispers, his voice thick with anticipation.
this time, there is no barrier, just his mouth and tongue and teeth, a relentless, worshipful assault. he licks away the cream with slow, languid strokes, savoring the taste of it mixed with your own unique sweetness. his tongue is an instrument of pure pleasure, tracing circles, flicking, dipping inside you.
his praise starts again, a low, constant murmur against your most sensitive flesh as he works. “fuck, you taste so good… my favorite flavor… so responsive for me, pretty girl… that’s it, let me hear you… scream for me this time…”
he finds your rhythm, his tongue a merciless, perfect piston against your clit. the pleasure is sharper this time, more intense, building with a speed that terrifies and excites you.
you feel the pressure coiling low in your belly, a tight, frantic knot. he senses it, his ministrations becoming more insistent, his fingers gripping your thighs to hold you still. he is determined to wring another orgasm from you, to leave you completely, utterly wrecked.
you come apart for him again, the climax even more intense than the first, a shattering, vocal scream that echoes in the quiet kitchen as he swallows every last drop with a deep, possessive groan.
he pulled back, mouth slick with your taste, a triumphant smirk curving his lips. you were a beautiful, dazed mess on his counter, boneless beneath his gaze.
then, unexpectedly, tenderness welled in him. he kissed you again—softer this time, slow and languid, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. his hands slid from your thighs to brush your hair back, careful, hesitant. he was trying to be good.
but you were wrecked. your body still trembling from back-to-back orgasms, raw with sensitivity, high on his filthy praise—and now achingly empty. his gentleness only stoked the hunger. you craved the strength he leashed, the overwhelming power you knew he held. you needed more.
“satoru,” you whisper, your voice shaky but threaded with a raw, undeniable determination. your hands, which had been limply resting in your lap, come up to fist in the front of his shirt, tugging him closer. his gentle caresses aren’t enough. “don’t… don’t be so gentle.”
his hands still in your hair. he pulls back slightly, his storm-glass eyes searching yours, a flicker of genuine surprise momentarily clearing the haze of lust. he sees the pleading in your gaze, the desperate want, and something darker, more primal, begins to stir in their depths. the carefully constructed dam of his control begins to crack.
“you sure, pretty girl?” his voice is a low, dangerous growl, a stark contrast to his previous soft praises. the air crackles with a new, sharper tension. “i’ve been trying really hard to be good for you. but if you ask me not to be…”
you just shake your head, a single. your legs, which had been lying limp, tighten around his waist, hooking your ankles behind him, trapping him. “i don’t want you to be good,” you breathe, the confession a spark in the charged air, an open invitation to the freak you know is lurking just beneath the surface. “i want you.”
that’s it. that’s the only permission he needs. his control shatters into a million pieces. the last vestiges of softness in his expression vanish, replaced by a raw, possessive hunger that makes a shiver of fear and excitement race down your spine. his eyes darken, pupils blown wide, and the grip on your thighs becomes bruising, possessive.
“then you better hold on tight,” he growls, his voice a guttural promise of what’s to come.
“not here,” he says, his voice rough, a surprising, almost feral nod to the hygiene of your workspace, a last remnant of his respect for your craft. he glances around at the flour-dusted surfaces, at the cooling soufflés, then back at you. “i’m going to ruin you, and i want to see your face when i do it.”
before you can respond, he’s lifting you from the counter like you weigh nothing, your legs locked tight around his waist. his stride is long, purposeful, carrying you out of the warm kitchen into the dark back office. the door slams shut behind him, the echo sealing you off from the world. he drops you onto the worn couch, the springs groaning under the impact.
he looms in the dim light, a towering silhouette of unrestrained want—a predator finally given leave to hunt. his fingers fumble at his cargo pants, grace traded for frantic urgency, the rasp of his zipper loud in the silence.
then he’s free. your breath stutters, eyes widening as the faint glow catches on him—thick, heavy, impossibly long. he’s big. so big. a sharp, sweet edge of fear slices through the haze of your arousal.
“so pretty for me,” he pants, his eyes dark and wild as he moves over you. “all wrecked and wanting it.” he pins your wrists to the couch cushions above your head with one large, strong hand, his grip firm but not painful, a gesture of absolute domination. with his other hand, he parts your slick folds, his thumb stroking your clit in a way that makes you gasp.
he guides himself to your entrance. you’re soaked, still leaking from your last orgasms, but even so, the thick, blunt head of his cock just nudges against you, a solid, unyielding pressure. it’s too much. it won’t fit.
“satoru,” you gasp, your eyes wide, a real note of panic in your voice as you feel the impossible pressure. your hips instinctively try to shift away. “i don’t… i don’t think i can.”
“shhh,” he soothes, his voice a low, ragged rumble, though his eyes are blazing with intensity. he doesn't pull back. instead, he leans down, his mouth brushing against your ear. “yes, you can, pretty girl. you were made for this.” a possessive growl underlines his words. “and i’m going to make it fit.”
he demonstrates a restraint that is almost terrifying. he doesn't push. instead, he begins a slow, torturous tease. he rocks his hips, fucking you with just the very tip, the wide, smooth head of his cock stretching you, parting your slick folds, making you impossibly wetter.
he moves in and out of just that first inch, a maddening, relentless rhythm that feels like both heaven and hell. his control is absolute, his powerful body held perfectly in check.
“that’s it…” he groans, his own control fraying, sweat beading on his temples. “feel how much i want you? just the tip, and you’re already so tight… so good… gripping me…” every word is a praise, a promise. he watches your face, watches your eyes screw shut as you bite your lip, lost in the overwhelming sensation of being slowly, deliberately claimed.
you’re whining now, desperate and needy as your hips buck instinctively, trying to take more of him. the initial fear has been replaced by an all-consuming need to be filled by him, completely and utterly.
“eager for me, huh?” he chuckles, a dark, pleased sound. his hips stutter, a sign of his own fracturing control. “good. that’s so good, pretty girl. now, take me. all of me.”
he shifts his angle slightly, and then, with a slow, deliberate, powerful push, he begins to fill you. it’s a gradual invasion, an inch-by-inch claiming of your body. it’s an overwhelming, gut-rearranging fullness, a delicious, burning stretch that makes you cry out, your back arching off the couch.
he keeps going, slowly, steadily, until he’s buried to the hilt, and you feel a profound, soul-deep stretch as he bottoms out against your cervix. he fills you completely, impossibly.
he stays there for a long moment, buried to the hilt inside you, letting you feel the sheer, overwhelming size of him. he pants above you, his forehead beaded with sweat, his eyes closed as he just savors the feeling of being completely, perfectly sheathed inside you.
“fuck,” he breathes, the word a reverent sigh. “perfect fit.”
he shifts his hips just a fraction, a slow, deliberate grind that draws a whimper from your throat, and a satisfied smirk touches his lips. he opens his eyes, their storm-blue depths dark and intense.
when he finally begins to move, it’s with an agonizing, deliberate slowness. he pulls back almost all the way, the sensation of him retreating making you whine in protest, your hips lifting off the couch to chase him. he chuckles, a low, dark sound. “uh-uh, pretty girl,” he murmurs, his free hand coming down to press your hip firmly into the couch cushions, pinning you in place. “i’m in charge now. you’ll take what i give you.”
he thrusts back in, slowly, every inch a rediscovery, a fresh wave of overwhelming fullness. he establishes a deep, hypnotic rhythm—a slow, complete withdrawal followed by an even slower, deeper return. with every inward stroke, he presses deep, his powerful hips rolling, grinding the head of his cock against your cervix in a way that makes you see stars.
“feel that?” he groans, his voice a low, rough rasp by your ear. “that’s all for you. all of it.”
you can only nod, your own breath coming in ragged gasps, your mind starting to short-circuit. the dual stimulation is too much, your senses overloaded. you’re trapped, pinned by his hand on your hip and his other hand holding your wrists, completely at the mercy of his slow, deliberate torture.
“use your words, pretty girl,” he demands, his rhythm faltering for just a second. “i need to hear it. tell me how it feels.”
“it’s… so much,” you gasp, tears of pleasure pricking at the corners of your eyes. “satoru, please…”
“please what?” he presses, his hips resuming that slow, torturous grind. he knows exactly what he’s doing, drawing out the pleasure, pushing you closer and closer to the edge only to pull you back. “tell me what you want.”
“i want… more,” you sob, the admission torn from you. “faster.”
a dark, possessive grin spreads across his face. “not yet,” he breathes, leaning down to kiss you, a deep, bruising kiss that tastes of salt and want. “not until you’re begging for it.”
he continues his slow, deep, punishing rhythm for what feels like an eternity. he talks to you the entire time, a constant stream of filthy praise and possessive commands that unravels you completely. “so good… gripping me so tight… look at you, taking all of me without even a single complaint… you were made for this, made for me…”
he’s right. you were. the initial overwhelming stretch has melted into a deep, profound ache of pleasure. your body, which you thought couldn't possibly take him, has molded around him, welcoming him.
finally, just as you feel like you’re about to shatter from the tension, he changes the rhythm. his thrusts become shorter, faster, focused on that one spot deep inside you that he seems to have memorized. your own hips start to buck against his hand, a frantic, uncontrolled rhythm.
“there it is,” he pants, his own control starting to fray. “that’s what i wanted to see.”
his head dips down. as a particularly deep, powerful thrust makes you cry out his name in a sob of pure pleasure, his mouth finds the soft flesh of your shoulder, just above the collarbone. he bites down. it’s not enough to break the skin, but it’s a sharp, possessive pressure that leaves a clear, red mark. a brand. he licks over it immediately, the rough swipe of his tongue soothing the sting.
“gotta leave a little reminder for you,” he rasps, his voice a possessive growl against your skin, his thrusts becoming frantic now, slamming into you. “so you don’t forget who you belong to. so everyone knows.”
the mark, his possessive words, the overwhelming fullness, the shift to a desperate, frantic pace… it all sends you spiraling. your mind goes white with sensation, and you come with a choked scream, your body convulsing around his thick cock, your inner muscles clenching and milking him with a helpless, frantic rhythm.
your orgasm only makes him harder, his own release held back by a thread of sheer, iron will. the feeling of your inner muscles convulsing around him, milking him, sends a shudder through his powerful frame. he groans, a low, guttural sound of a man right on the edge. but he’s not done with you yet. not even close.
he pulls out of you with a wet, obscene slap that makes you whine in protest at the sudden emptiness. but he doesn't give you a moment to recover. before you can even process the lingering tremors of your climax, he’s pulling you up from the couch, onto your feet.
“turn around,” he commands, his voice a low, rough growl, thick with unshed lust. you’re pliant in his hands, dazed and completely his to command. you obey without question, letting him guide you the few steps to the small, cluttered wooden desk. he positions you, turning you so you can plant your hands on the edge of it, your ass pushed out for him, a perfect, vulnerable offering.
he presses his hard, sweat-slick body against your back, caging you in, the heat of him a stark contrast to the cool wood beneath your palms. “look at you,” he rasps, his voice a low growl right by your ear as he admires the sight of you, bent over and waiting for him. “so good. so obedient for me.”
one powerful arm snakes around your front, his forearm pressing with deliberate, firm pressure against your throat. it doesn’t hurt, not yet, but it’s a clear, undeniable act of control. your breath hitches, a jolt of pure, primal fear mixing with a sharp spike of arousal.
his hold tilts your head back into the crook of his shoulder, exposing the long, pale line of your neck to him. his mouth is right there, at your ear, at your throat, his hot breath ghosting over your skin. his other hand grips your hip, thumb pressing into the soft flesh, holding you steady, claiming you. you are completely, utterly his to manhandle.
he thrusts into you from behind in a single, powerful motion. the angle is impossibly deep, hitting a spot that bypasses thought and sends a bolt of pure, white-hot pleasure straight to your brain. a scream tears from your throat, but as it does, the pressure on your windpipe increases. not enough to truly choke you, but enough to cut the sound off, turning your scream into a pathetic, breathy whimper.
the world begins to swim at the edges, your head light and floaty from the lack of air. it’s terrifying. it’s perfect. the combination of overwhelming fullness and oxygen deprivation sends you spiraling, your mind going blessedly blank.
his thrusts are deep, powerful, slamming into you with a relentless, animalistic rhythm. with the pressure on your throat, every frantic gasp for air, every choked moan, is a sound of pure, helpless submission that seems to drive him wilder.
his mouth finds the sensitive skin where your neck meets your shoulder, and as he fucks you, he latches on, sucking hard. you feel the sting, the pull, and you know, with a dizzying thrill, that he’s leaving a dark, undeniable hickey. another mark. a claim for all to see.
he’s not pulling out. this is the final, undeniable act of possession. “i’m going to come inside you, pretty girl,” he groans into your ear, his hips slamming into you, each word a percussive beat against your senses. “i’m going to fill you up… make you mine.”
the combination of his filthy, possessive words, the choking pressure making your head spin, the new, stinging mark on your neck, and the overwhelming, gut-rearranging fullness is what sends you over the edge one last time.
your fourth, and most intense, orgasm hits like a lightning strike, a complete system overload. your mind whites out, your body convulsing violently around him, and the helpless, breathy sounds spilling from your lips are his undoing.
with a final, desperate groan that’s more roar than word, he thrusts deep one last time and floods you with his release, the hot, thick seed a shocking, intimate brand deep inside you, coating your womb, claiming you from the inside out.
he collapses against you, his entire weight a comforting, solid presence. his arm immediately loosens from your throat, allowing you to drag in a ragged, desperate lungful of air. your vision clears, the world snapping back into sharp focus. his breathing is harsh, ragged against your ear, his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against your back. for a long moment, you just stand there, tangled together, held up only by the desk and his strength, the aftermath of the storm washing over you in slow, trembling waves.
he doesn't let you go. after a minute, when his breathing has started to even out, he shifts. his movements are gentle now, a stark, beautiful contrast to the ferocity of moments before. he pulls you back against his chest, his arms wrapping around your middle in a secure, protective embrace. he presses a soft, lingering kiss to your temple, then another to the dark, angry-looking mark on your neck. his lips are soft, almost apologetic, yet deeply possessive.
“come on,” he whispers, his voice thick with sleep and satisfaction. he helps you gather your discarded clothes—the dress, the bra, the panties—not with any sense of shame, but with a quiet, domestic tenderness. he guides you back to the couch, sitting you down gently before finding a clean dish towel from a nearby hook and wetting it with a bottle of water from your desk. he kneels before you and carefully, tenderly, cleans you up. every soft swipe of the cloth is an act of worship, an apology, a promise.
when you’re clean, he helps you dress again, his large hands surprisingly gentle as he zips up your dress, his fingers brushing against your skin. he pulls you into his lap, cradling you against his chest, his arms a safe haven. you’re exhausted, boneless, and completely content.
and in the beautiful, comfortable wreckage he’d so lovingly made of you, you felt safer and more cherished than ever before. you were, unequivocally, his.
consciousness crept in slowly, warm and hazy and completely disorienting. your bed felt softer than usual, sunlight streaming through curtains that you definitely remembered closing last night. you were wearing your favorite sleep shirt—the oversized one with tiny croissants printed all over it—and had absolutely no memory of changing into it.
blinking up at your ceiling, pieces of the previous evening started filtering back. the baking lesson. satoru’s hands over yours. flour everywhere. the soufflés rising unevenly. kissing him until your lips felt swollen and your heart hammered like it was trying to escape your chest. everything after that was a haze of heat and breathless whispers and the way he’d touched you like you were something precious and breakable and his.
but how did you get home?
you sat up slowly, running hands through thoroughly disheveled hair, trying to piece together the gap in your memory. the last clear thing you remembered was being wrapped around satoru on your office couch, both of you breathless and covered in flour, the cafe dark except for the warm glow from the kitchen.
your phone sat on the nightstand, and when you grabbed it to check the time, your heart nearly stopped.
9:47 am.
wait, that couldn’t be right. you shot up from bed like you’d been electrocuted, panic flooding your system. if it was 9:47 in the morning, that meant— “shit, shit, shit!” the cafe should have opened an hour and forty-seven minutes ago. customers would have been lined up. your regulars, your weekend rush. they’d be confused, probably annoyed. your perfect attendance record, your reputation, everything—
that’s when you smelled it. coffee. real coffee, not the instant stuff you kept in your apartment for emergencies. and was that… bacon?
you stumbled toward your bedroom door, still half-panicked and completely confused. the soft sounds of someone moving around your kitchen, the quiet sizzle of something in a pan, and—was that humming? a low, familiar melody that made your chest flutter with recognition.
padding barefoot down the hallway, you stopped short in your kitchen doorway.
satoru stood at your stove, wearing his jeans from last night and nothing else except one of your aprons tied around his narrow waist. the soft pink fabric with tiny cupcakes printed on it looked absolutely ridiculous stretched across his broad shoulders, the ties barely meeting around his back. his silver hair was still sleep-mussed, sticking up in several directions, and he was humming while orchestrating what looked like a feast designed to feed a small army.
the counter was covered with an impressive spread that belonged in a five-star brunch restaurant. thick, fluffy japanese pancakes stacked impossibly high, their surfaces golden and perfect. fresh strawberries and blueberries arranged in artful clusters, some cut into delicate fan shapes. crispy strips of bacon laid out in precise rows alongside what appeared to be perfectly seasoned breakfast potatoes, golden and herb-crusted. scrambled eggs that looked like silk, probably made with cream and patience.
a small bowl of homemade whipped cream sat next to another containing what could only be maple butter. and was that hollandaise sauce? actual hollandaise sauce, made from scratch in your tiny kitchen, keeping warm in a makeshift double boiler.
“morning, beautiful,” he said without turning around, shoulders shifting as he adjusted the heat under a pan. his voice carried that particular roughness that came from a night of use, and the sound sent warmth spiraling through your chest as memories crashed back in vivid detail. “hope you don’t mind me raiding your kitchen. and your spice cabinet. and possibly your entire pantry.”
you stared at the spread, then at him, brain still trying to catch up to this alternate reality where satoru gojo had transformed your modest kitchen into a professional-grade brunch operation. “that’s my apron,” you managed, voice scratchy with sleep and something else entirely. your fingers unconsciously smoothed down your croissant-printed pajama shirt, suddenly very aware of how rumpled you probably looked.
he glanced down at the pink fabric with its cheerful cupcake pattern, then back at you with that boyish grin that made your knees forget their structural integrity. those impossible blue eyes held warmth and mischief and something deeper that made your pulse stutter. “looks better on you, obviously, but i didn’t want to get hollandaise on myself.” he gestured toward the elaborate spread with his spatula, movements confident and practiced, like he’d been cooking in your kitchen for years instead of hours. “thought you might be hungry after… well, after everything.”
the way he said ‘everything’ with that slight pause, that knowing look, sent heat creeping up your neck. memories flickered behind your eyelids—his hands, his mouth, the way he’d whispered your name like a prayer.
heat crept up your neck at the implication, memories flickering like film strips behind your eyelids. “satoru, what time is it? the cafe—i need to open, people are probably waiting outside wondering where—”
“relax, cupcake.” he turned fully now, and you caught sight of the feast he’d created on your small dining table. those long fingers gestured toward your phone on the counter, his expression gentle but firm. “it’s friday morning, yes. but look at yourself.”
you glanced down at your croissant pajamas, then caught sight of yourself in the microwave’s reflection. disheveled didn’t begin to cover it. you looked like you’d been thoroughly—well, exactly like someone who’d spent the night being completely and utterly ruined in the best possible way.
“when’s the last time you took a real day off?” he continued, leaning against the counter with those muscled arms crossed, the ridiculous apron making him look both domestic and absolutely edible. “and i mean a real day off, not just sunday afternoons when you meal prep for the week.”
“i don’t need—”
“you fell asleep mid-sentence last night,” he interrupted, storm-glass eyes serious now. “completely dead to the world. that’s not normal tired, sweetheart. that’s your body shutting down because you’ve been running on fumes for months.”
the endearment made something flutter in your chest, but you fought against the warmth. “people depend on their morning coffee. their pastries. i can’t just—”
“the world will survive one day without your croissants.” he pushed off the counter, moving toward you with that predatory grace that made your pulse skip. “but will you survive if you keep pushing yourself like this?”
you opened your mouth to argue, but he continued, voice dropping to something softer, more vulnerable. “i carried you home last night. you weighed nothing, and you were so exhausted you didn’t even stir when i changed your clothes or when the car hit every pothole between the cafe and here.” his hands found your shoulders, thumbs brushing over your collarbone through the soft cotton. “when’s the last time someone took care of you?”
the question settled between you like flour in still air, impossible to brush away. you stared up at him, taking in the genuine concern in those impossible eyes, the way his hair stuck up in seventeen different directions, the careful way he was touching you like you might break.
“i already put a sign on the door,” he admitted quietly. “professional-looking thing. ‘temporarily closed for equipment maintenance, reopening tomorrow with fresh selections.’ even laminated it.”
“you…” you blinked at him, torn between exasperation and something dangerously close to affection. “you laminated a sign?”
“seemed like something you’d appreciate.” that boyish grin made its appearance, but it was softer now, less performative. “besides, gives us the whole day to figure this out.”
“figure what out?”
“this.” he gestured between you with one hand, the other still resting on your shoulder. “us. whatever this is becoming.”
his own cheeks pinked slightly, and he ran a hand through his already-messy hair, the gesture making those silver strands stick up even more ridiculously. the movement drew attention to the lean muscles of his arm, the way his bicep flexed under unmarked skin. he was beautiful in the morning light, all sharp angles and soft edges, looking nothing like the polished influencer and everything like the man who’d whispered praise against your skin in the dark.
“right, about that. you were completely dead to the world, so i…” he paused, shoulders shifting as he turned to face you fully, and the careful way he moved suggested he was reading your reaction, making sure you were okay with this conversation. “i may have carried you.” the admission came out like he was confessing to a crime, storm-glass eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort.
you were quiet for a long moment, processing this while your fingers unconsciously twisted the hem of your pajama shirt. the image of satoru gojo, internet famous fitness influencer, carrying your unconscious form through the streets while digging through your purse for house keys should have been embarrassing. instead, it felt like being cherished. “called a car, had to dig through your bag for your keys—sorry about that, by the way. total invasion of privacy but you were unconscious and i couldn’t exactly leave you on the couch all night.”
“and the clothes?” you asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper as you gestured to your croissant pajamas. your cheeks felt warm, not from embarrassment but from something softer, more vulnerable.
his flush deepened, spreading down his neck to disappear beneath the ridiculous cupcake apron, and he focused very intently on arranging the berries in perfect little clusters. his long fingers moved with surprising delicacy, the same hands that had mapped every inch of your skin now handling strawberries like they were made of glass. “you were… well, you couldn’t sleep in your work clothes. they were all flour-dusted and…” he cleared his throat, voice dropping to something rough and honest. “i was very respectful about it. found your pajamas in the top drawer, got you changed as quickly as possible.”
the careful way he said it, like he was worried you’d be upset, made something warm unfurl in your chest. after everything that had happened between you—the way he’d touched you, tasted you, made you completely his—the tenderness of him taking care of you when you were completely vulnerable felt more intimate than anything else. your heart did something complicated against your ribs, affection and gratitude tangling together.
“thank you,” you said softly, the words carrying more weight than they should. “for taking care of me.”
his shoulders relaxed slightly, and that devastating smile returned. “anytime, cupcake. literally anytime.” he moved back toward the stove, checking on something in a pan. “now come on, let me feed you properly. all this cooking and no one to appreciate it is making me feel like a very attractive housewife with an absentee spouse.”
despite everything, you snorted. “did you just compare yourself to a housewife?”
“a very attractive housewife,” he corrected solemnly. “the apron really brings out my eyes.”
you perched on one of your barstools, finally allowing yourself to really take in the spread he’d created. it was magnificent—restaurant-quality food that had obviously taken hours to prepare. “satoru, this is… how long have you been awake?”
“since about six.” he shrugged like it was nothing, plating the eggs with practiced precision. “i’m used to early mornings. besides, i wanted everything to be perfect when you woke up.”
something warm and dangerous bloomed in your chest at the casual way he said it, like making you elaborate breakfasts was just another tuesday for him.
he set a plate in front of you that could have fed three people. the pancakes were impossibly fluffy, stacked four high and dusted with powdered sugar. the eggs looked like silk, probably made with cream and the kind of patience you rarely had time for. the breakfast potatoes were golden and herb-crusted, the bacon perfectly crispy, and everything was arranged with an artistry that rivaled your own pastry displays.
“this is…” you took a bite of the pancakes, and flavor exploded across your tongue. light, airy, with just the right amount of sweetness and a hint of vanilla that made your eyes flutter closed. “holy shit, satoru. this is incredible.”
he beamed like you’d just told him he’d won the lottery, settling across from you with his own overfilled plate. “really? basic, but edible,” he said with obvious false modesty, but you could see the genuine pride in his eyes.
“basic?” you laughed, taking another bite, then another, suddenly ravenous in a way that had nothing to do with skipping dinner and everything to do with working up quite an appetite. “satoru, this is restaurant-quality. where did you learn to cook like this?”
you ate with the same focused intensity he’d seen you bring to your baking, that complete attention to flavor and texture that made him fall for you in the first place. watching you devour his cooking with such obvious pleasure made something warm and possessive bloom in his chest. he found himself memorizing the way you closed your eyes when you tasted the hollandaise, the soft sound you made when you tried the potatoes, the fact that you cleaned your plate completely before even pausing to breathe.
“years of meal prep,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady while watching you lick hollandaise off your fork with the same precision you used for piping buttercream. “when you’re trying to build muscle without destroying your body, you learn to make healthy food that doesn’t taste like punishment.” he gestured with his own fork, grinning. “though i’ll admit, i may have gotten a little carried away trying to impress you.”
“mission accomplished,” you said around another bite, then paused to really look at the spread. “seriously, satoru, this is restaurant-quality. why aren’t you doing this professionally?”
his cheeks pinked slightly, that boyish flush that made him look younger, more vulnerable. “because watching people enjoy things i make feels…” he paused, searching for words. “it feels like this. like watching you eat my food with the same appreciation i have for your pastries. makes me understand why you do what you do.”
you finished the last bite and sat back with a satisfied sigh, feeling more full and content than you had in months. the plate was completely clean—you’d devoured every single thing he’d made with the same focused intensity you brought to your own work.
“that was incredible. i mean it,” you said, then caught his expression. he was watching you with something like wonder, like he couldn’t quite believe you were real.
“actually,” he said suddenly, setting down his fork and running a hand through his silver hair. “can we… can we talk about something?”
your stomach dropped slightly. here it came—the regret, the awkwardness, the ‘this was fun but we should probably pretend it didn’t happen’ conversation. you set down your coffee cup carefully, trying to keep your expression neutral. “okay.”
he pushed back from the table abruptly, starting to pace behind the kitchen island like a caged animal. his movements were agitated, nervous energy radiating from every line of his body. “i’ve been thinking,” he said, voice strained. “and i realized i did everything completely backwards last night.”
you blinked at him, confusion replacing dread. “backwards?”
“i should have told you how i feel first.” he stopped pacing long enough to gesture vaguely toward your bedroom, cheeks going properly pink now. “before we… god, your neighbors probably hate me. i didn’t even tell you i love you first and i just…” his voice cracked slightly. “i mean, i really went at it, didn’t i?”
the confession crashed over you like warm honey, sweet and overwhelming. your heart stuttered against your ribs. “you love me?”
he stopped pacing entirely, those impossible eyes meeting yours with devastating sincerity. his hands were shaking slightly as he ran them through his hair again, making it stick up in seventeen different directions. “are you kidding? i’ve been completely gone for you since that first chocolate tart. i rearranged my entire life around your operating hours. masaru thinks i’ve lost my mind.”
“you love me,” you repeated, softer this time, like you were testing how the words tasted on your tongue.
“embarrassingly much,” he admitted, voice rough with vulnerability. he resumed his pacing, gesticulating wildly now. “which is why i feel terrible that i didn’t say it before i… before we…” he trailed off, looking genuinely distressed. “i’m not usually the type to put the cart before the horse, you know? but you make me forget how to think straight.”
something about his genuine distress, the way he was beating himself up over the order of operations, struck you as absolutely ridiculous. a giggle escaped before you could stop it. then another. soon you were laughing so hard tears pricked your eyes, shoulders shaking with the force of it.
“what’s funny?” he asked, stopping mid-pace to stare at you, looking wounded and confused.
“satoru,” you managed between giggles, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “you’ve been courting me for months. bringing me ridiculously large tips. asking me to teach you to bake. memorizing my coffee preferences. learning my schedule by heart.” you stood up, still laughing softly. “if that’s not love, i don’t know what is.”
his expression shifted from wounded to hopeful, like sunrise breaking through storm clouds. “so… you’re not upset that i did it backwards?”
“the only thing i’m upset about,” you said, moving around the island toward him, “is that you beat me to saying it first.”
his face transformed into that brilliant smile you’d grown to love, the one that made him look younger and completely unguarded. “so what does this make us then? officially?”
“well,” you said, reaching up to smooth down his ridiculous bedhead, fingers tangling in the soft silver strands. “you’ve basically moved into my cafe. you know my coffee preferences better than i do. and you just made me breakfast while wearing an apron that’s two sizes too small.”
he glanced down at the ridiculous cupcake-printed fabric stretched across his broad chest, then back at you with that boyish grin. “very domesticated of me.”
“extremely domesticated,” you agreed, hands still buried in his hair. “practically husband material.”
the word hung in the air between you, and you both froze slightly. too much, too fast, too honest for a morning after conversation.
“too fast?” you asked quickly, suddenly uncertain.
“definitely too fast,” he agreed, then that devastating smile returned full force. “but i like the sound of it anyway.”
you stretched up on your toes to kiss him, tasting coffee and maple syrup and morning possibilities on his lips. when you pulled back, both of you were breathing a little unsteadily.
“so… boyfriend then? for now?” you whispered against his mouth.
“boyfriend who’s completely obsessed with his girlfriend,” he confirmed, arms wrapping around your waist to pull you impossibly closer. “and plans to continue being your most devoted customer.”
“what about your trainer? your social media following? the whole influencer thing?”
“masaru can learn to live with disappointment. some things are more important than macros.” he pulled back just enough to look at you seriously, those storm-glass eyes soft with affection. “like making sure the woman i love gets proper breakfast when she’s too tired to make it herself.”
warmth bloomed in your chest at the casual way he said ‘the woman i love,’ like it was the most natural thing in the world. “satoru gojo, are you offering to be my personal breakfast chef?”
“i’m offering to be whatever you need me to be,” he said simply, honestly, thumbs tracing gentle circles against your waist through the thin cotton of your pajama shirt. “starting with the guy who makes you eggs and tells you he loves you every morning.”
your heart did something complicated and wonderful behind your ribs. “i love you too,” you whispered, the words feeling both new and inevitable. “even if you did steal my apron.”
“our apron,” he corrected with a grin, then lifted you off your feet and spun you around your tiny kitchen, both of you laughing like teenagers who’d discovered something wonderful and secret. your hands fisted in the ridiculous cupcake fabric as he spun you, the world blurring except for his face, his smile, the way he was looking at you like you were everything he’d ever wanted.
when he finally set you back down, he kept his arms around you, both of you still giggling and breathless. “we’re domestic now, remember?” he said, pressing his forehead against yours.
and standing there in your sunny kitchen, wearing croissant pajamas while satoru gojo held you close in your stolen apron, you thought maybe the best relationships really did come from a little bit of chaos, a lot of patience, and the perfect amount of sweetness.
seven months of official dating had settled into something sweeter than any confection you’d ever crafted. what started as satoru’s carefully timed visits to flour & sugar had evolved into something that had the internet completely obsessed and your little bakery busier than you’d ever dreamed possible.
it had started innocently enough—his social media transformation had been gradual, so subtle that his followers might have missed it if they weren’t paying attention. but the comments sections told a different story.
“bro where are the gym thirst traps”
“who is she and what did she do with our protein daddy”
“NOT HIM POSTING COUPLE RECIPES”
“the way this man went from ‘rate my deadlift’ to ‘rate our sourdough starter’ is sending me”
his instagram had become a love letter written in pixels and captions, a soft-focus documentary of domestic bliss that had somehow captured the internet’s collective heart. gone were the carefully staged shots of his abs and dramatic gym poses. instead, his feed had filled with your hands—piping delicate rosettes onto cupcakes, kneading dough with flour up to your elbows, writing recipe modifications in your careful script on index cards. blurry morning photos of you both tangled in the sheets above the bakery, sharing a croissant and coffee, your hair catching the golden morning light and his eyes soft with sleep and adoration.
“she said the croissants needed to be tested for quality control. who am i to argue with an expert? #worthit #carbsarelife”
the gym content that remained had evolved too. videos of him teaching you proper deadlift form while you corrected his piping technique, both of you collapsing into giggles when he inevitably got buttercream on the barbell. couple workouts that ended with you both on yoga mats, breathless and laughing, sharing post-workout protein smoothies that you’d somehow made taste like birthday cake.
his captions had gotten impossibly sappier, much to his trainer’s horror and his followers’ secret delight.
“strongest thing about me is how hard i fell for her” under a photo of you both covered in flour after an epic food fight that had started as a serious recipe test and devolved into full-scale warfare.
“she lifts my spirits, i lift heavy things. perfect partnership #relationshipgoals #sheputsupwithme”
“plot twist: the real gains were the pastries we made along the way” posted with a picture of a particularly elaborate croquembouche you’d attempted together, which had collapsed spectacularly but tasted like heaven.
but it was the video that really sent everything viral. he’d filmed you teaching him how to make croissants at 4 am, both of you in matching flour-dusted aprons, your voice gentle and patient as you guided his hands through the delicate lamination process. the video caught the moment when he’d finally gotten the fold right, the way your face had lit up with pride, how he’d spun you around the kitchen in celebration, both of you laughing breathlessly in the pre-dawn quiet.
“month 6 of pastry school with the best teacher in the world. still can’t believe she hasn’t fired me yet #luckiestman #sheputsupwitheverything”
the video had exploded overnight. suddenly everyone wanted to try the bakery where the internet’s new favorite couple had fallen in love. the hashtag #flourandsugar started trending, with people posting their own attempts at your recipes and sharing photos of their visits to the little bakery that had stolen the internet’s heart.
which was how you’d found yourself six months later, standing in what used to be the cramped storage room behind your original space, now transformed into a sun-drenched new kitchen three times the size of your old one. the success had been overwhelming in the best possible way—the new space was a baker’s dream, with warm butcher block counters instead of cold steel and creamy subway tiles that caught the light. it was professional, yes, but it still felt like your kitchen.
that warmth extended upstairs, where you’d expanded into a proper second floor with big, beautiful windows that flooded the space with light, now filled with mismatched armchairs you’d found at flea markets, their plush velvet cushions in shades of dusty rose and sage green inviting people to linger for hours. you’d added low bookshelves filled with old novels and cookbooks, making it feel more like a cozy, lived-in library than a cafe.
and outside, you’d finally built the outdoor garden patio you’d always dreamed of. it was a hidden city oasis, where climbing jasmine and wisteria wove through rustic wooden trellises, their sweet scent mixing with the aroma of fresh baking. warm, rounded wooden tables were nestled amongst potted lavender and herbs that you used in your recipes, and in the evenings, the entire space was lit by hundreds of soft, twinkling fairy lights, making it feel like a secret garden straight from a storybook. a small, charmingly weathered stage was tucked into a corner, where local musicians played soft acoustic sets on friday nights.
satoru had insisted on being involved in every aspect of the renovation, showing up in a hard hat that was completely unnecessary but made him look adorable, asking the contractors a million questions and somehow charming them into letting him help with the purely decorative elements. he’d painted the entire garden fence himself, claiming it was “functional exercise” when masaru complained about his training schedule.
and somewhere in the midst of expansion plans and permit applications and the beautiful chaos of success, he’d also become your unofficial apprentice.
every morning, he’d show up before opening hours, hair still messy from sleep and eyes still soft with dreams, pressing coffee into your hands and tying on the custom apron you’d made him—black with “sous chef (in training)” embroidered in white thread.
he was surprisingly good at it, once you got past his tendency to treat everything like a chemistry experiment that required his complete focus and undivided attention. his hands, so used to precise movements in the gym, had adapted quickly to the delicate work of pastry. he could pipe perfectly uniform rosettes now, roll pasta thin enough to read through, and his bread kneading technique was flawless—all that upper body strength put to decidedly more domestic use.
the only problem was how clingy he got during work hours, like a cat who’d decided you were the only warm spot in the house.
“focus,” you’d murmur when you caught him staring at you instead of watching his custard, which was definitely about to curdle if he didn’t pay attention, your own concentration wavering under the weight of his gaze.
“i am focused,” he’d protest, those storm-glass eyes never leaving your face, his head tilting in that way that made his hair fall across his forehead just so. “just not on the custard.”
he had a habit of finding excuses to be close to you—reaching over you for ingredients he could easily grab from the other side, his chest brushing against your shoulder as he moved with unnecessary slowness, pressing himself against your back to “check your technique” when you were demonstrating something he’d watched you do a hundred times, his breath warm against your neck as he murmured questions he already knew the answers to. stealing kisses between timer intervals that left you both breathless and your kitchen staff rolling their eyes so hard they risked permanent damage.
“you know,” your assistant manager had said one particularly busy morning, watching satoru follow you around like a lovesick puppy with separation anxiety, “most people don’t let their boyfriends work in their restaurants because it’s unprofessional.”
“good thing he’s not just my boyfriend,” you’d replied, not looking up from the wedding cake sketch you were working on, your cheeks warm with the kind of happiness that made everything else fade to background noise. “he’s my best student too.”
and he was. beneath all the playful clinginess and shameless flirting, he’d thrown himself into learning your craft with the same intensity he brought to everything else. he studied cookbooks like training manuals, practiced piping techniques until his hands cramped, and had somehow memorized the temperature preferences of every regular customer without being asked.
tonight felt different, though. there was an energy humming beneath his skin as he helped you test a new recipe—a delicate honey lavender cake that had been giving you trouble for weeks. the kind of nervous energy that made him move too precisely, like he was afraid his hands might betray him. he’d been unusually quiet, focused with an intensity that went beyond even his usual dedication to perfection. his hands, normally so confident and sure, had trembled slightly as he held the mixing bowl steady while you folded in the final ingredients, his knuckles white with tension.
you’d caught him checking his phone more than usual, running his fingers through his hair in that telltale sign of nerves that made the white strands stick up at odd angles.
the new kitchen was empty except for the two of you, the dinner rush long over and your staff gone home. upstairs, you could hear the soft sounds of the last few customers settling their bills and heading out into the night. soon it would be just the two of you in your expanded little empire, testing recipes and stealing kisses between batches like you had every night for months.
“perfect,” you murmured, running the offset spatula around the bowl’s edge to catch the last bit of batter, satisfaction curling warm in your chest. “finally got the lavender balance right. not too floral, not too—”
“marry me.”
the words fell between you like flour from a torn bag, sudden and everywhere at once. your spatula froze mid-swipe, batter clinging to its edge, and the kitchen went so quiet you could hear the soft hum of the new industrial refrigerators, the distant tick of the timer counting down on the oven, the rapid flutter of your own heartbeat.
you turned slowly, your heart doing something acrobatic and terrifying in your chest, like it was trying to escape through your ribs.
satoru was standing by the three-basin sink, soap bubbles still clinging to his forearms from washing the mixing bowls, his storm-glass eyes wide and vulnerable in a way that made the air catch in your lungs. his usually perfect posture had crumbled slightly, shoulders curved inward like he was bracing for impact. in his damp hands—hands that could deadlift twice his body weight but now shook like autumn leaves—he held a ring.
it was simple. classic. a single diamond set in white gold, understated and elegant and so perfectly you that your throat closed with emotion. it caught the warm led lighting of your new kitchen and threw tiny rainbows across the stainless steel counter between you, each facet a promise you weren’t sure you were brave enough to believe.
“i—” he started, then stopped, running his free hand through his impossible white hair until it stood up in anxious spikes. his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, and you could see the flush creeping up his neck above the collar of his black henley. “i had a whole speech planned. been practicing in the mirror like an idiot for weeks. masaru kept finding me in the gym storage room rehearsing it to the resistance bands. hell, i even practiced on the contractors during the renovation, and they all said it was solid gold. but standing here, watching you perfect something for the hundredth time just because you refuse to settle for anything less than beautiful, i just… i can’t wait anymore.”
you set the spatula down with trembling fingers, your mouth slightly parted in shock, your eyes never leaving his face. there was something raw there, something that made your chest feel too small to contain your heart. the way he was looking at you—like you were the answer to a question he’d been asking his whole life without knowing it.
“i know we’ve technically only been together seven months,” he continued, words tumbling out faster now, like he was afraid he’d lose his nerve. his free hand gestured wildly, flour still dusting his knuckles. “but i’ve been reorganizing my whole life around you for almost a year now, and it doesn’t feel fast. it feels like… like i’ve been waiting my whole life to find someone who makes me want to be better. who makes me want to learn the difference between brown sugar and turbinado sugar because it matters to them. who makes me want to wake up at 4 am just to watch them create magic from flour and butter and impossible patience.”
tears blurred your vision, but you couldn’t look away from him. couldn’t breathe. couldn’t do anything but stand there in your flour-dusted apron with your heart trying to climb out of your throat.
“you turned me from a guy whose idea of cooking was protein powder and water into someone who knows seventeen different ways to fold dough,” he said, his voice dropping to that soft, rough register that made your knees feel unsteady. “you made me trade my supplement-covered bathroom counter for skincare products and fancy soaps that smell like vanilla and cardamom. you let me reorganize your spice cabinet by color and didn’t even laugh when i alphabetized the sprinkles. you taught me that there’s a difference between vanilla extract and vanilla paste, and somehow made me care about it enough to argue with the supplier about quality.”
he was rambling now, the speech he’d practiced forgotten in favor of raw honesty, his eyes bright with unshed tears.
“you make me want to be the kind of man who deserves a woman who puts that much love into everything she touches,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly on the last word. “and i know i’m not there yet, but i want to spend the rest of my life trying. if you’ll let me. if you’ll have me, with all my terrible habits and my tendency to leave protein powder rings on your pristine counters and my complete inability to remember which spoon is for tasting and which is for mixing even though you’ve told me a thousand times—”
“yes,” you breathed, the word escaping like a prayer, like something that had been building inside you for months and finally found its way out. your hands flew to your mouth, tears spilling over your cheeks. then louder, clearer, with a certainty that surprised you both: “yes. yes, of course, yes. you beautiful, ridiculous man, yes.”
relief crashed over his features like sunrise after the longest night, his shoulders sagging as the tension finally left his body. suddenly he was moving, crossing the spacious new kitchen in three quick strides, his long legs eating up the distance between you. he scooped you up, lifting you clean off the ground and spinning you around despite the flour that would definitely transfer to his black henley.
you laughed—bright, joyous, disbelieving—the sound echoing off the stainless steel surfaces as he set you down gently, his hands framing your face like you were something precious and fragile.
he took your left hand with reverent care, his fingers steady now, and the ring slipped onto your finger like it had been waiting there all along, a perfect fit that made your heart stutter. you stared down at it through tears, this small, shining promise that caught the light and threw it back in brilliant fragments.
“it was my grandmother’s,” he said softly, his thumb tracing over your knuckles, his voice thick with emotion. “she would have loved you. probably would have spent hours teaching you her secret recipes and conspiring against my diet with homemade cookies and guilt trips about being too skinny.”
you looked up at him, this beautiful, impossible man who’d learned to love the quiet corners of your world, and felt something click into place deep in your chest, like the final piece of a puzzle you hadn’t known you were solving. “she raised someone pretty wonderful,” you whispered, your voice watery with happiness.
he cupped your face in his flour-dusted hands and kissed you then, soft and sweet and tasting like promises and the lingering sweetness of cake batter. when you finally broke apart, breathless, he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed like he was trying to memorize the moment.
“so,” he said, that familiar playful edge creeping back into his voice, though it was rougher now, weighted with emotion. “think we should celebrate with cake?”
you laughed, the sound bubbling up from some deep, happy place inside you, your hands fisting in the soft cotton of his shirt. “the honey lavender isn’t ready yet.”
“then i guess,” he said, pressing another kiss to your temple, his lips lingering there, “we’ll just have to make do with each other.”
and in the warm, sweet-scented sanctuary of your expanded kitchen, with an engagement ring catching the light and his arms around you, you thought you’d never tasted anything sweeter.
the next few weeks passed in a blur of congratulations and wedding planning that somehow felt like the most natural thing in the world, like every decision was just another recipe to perfect together. your expanded bakery had become an even bigger destination after satoru posted a photo of your engagement ring next to a perfectly plated slice of the honey lavender cake, captioned simply: “she said yes. tastes even sweeter than it looks. #luckiestman #sheputsupwitheverything #futurewife”
the internet had collectively lost its mind with joy, his comments section turning into a virtual celebration that lasted for days.
but the real magic happened in the quiet moments between the public celebrations. like the evening you’d spent sprawled on the living room floor of the apartment above the bakery—your apartment, officially both of yours now, his name on the lease and his terrible reality tv preferences integrated into your netflix algorithm—surrounded by wedding magazines and cake flavor combinations scribbled on index cards.
“okay,” you said, shuffling through your notes with the same methodical precision you brought to everything, your engagement ring catching the lamplight as you moved. “we’ve narrowed it down to seven flavors. one for each month we’ve been together.”
“our love story in cake form,” he agreed, lying on his stomach with his chin propped on his hands, looking at you like you’d personally hung every star in the sky. his eyes were soft and dreamy, the way they got when he was completely, utterly content. “very us.”
“so the bottom layer,” you continued, consulting your carefully organized list, your brow furrowed in that adorable way it did when you were concentrating, “vanilla bean with salted caramel. for that first day you came in and i thought you were just another pretty face with a sweet tooth.”
“just another pretty face?” he gasped in mock offense, rolling onto his back and pressing his hand to his chest like you’d wounded him mortally. his hair fanned out against the hardwood floor like a halo, and you had the sudden, overwhelming urge to run your fingers through it. “i’ll have you know this pretty face was already planning our future together after that first smile.”
“mmm,” you hummed, trying to look stern but failing spectacularly as warmth bloomed in your chest, “the second layer is dark chocolate with raspberry. rich and a little tart, like how i felt when i realized you were actually going to be a problem for my carefully ordered life.”
“a problem?” he sat up, scooting closer until he could nuzzle into your neck, his breath warm against your skin. “i prefer ‘best thing that ever happened to you.’”
“that’s layer seven,” you said softly, your voice going tender in a way that made his heart do somersaults. “honey lavender. sweet and unexpected and perfect.”
he went quiet then, understanding the weight of what you were saying, his arms tightening around you. “and the layers in between?”
“lemon with strawberry buttercream for the first time you made me laugh until my sides hurt—that morning you tried to help me make croissants and somehow got butter in your hair.” you were smiling now, lost in the memory, your fingers absently playing with the hem of his shirt. “coffee cake with brown butter frosting for all those early mornings you started showing up before we opened, just to spend time with me. vanilla rose for the day you told me you loved me. and…” you blushed, consulting your notes, “brown butter cake with cinnamon cream cheese frosting for the first time you stayed the night and i woke up to you making breakfast. the most chaotic breakfast, but the gesture was perfect.”
“hey,” he protested, pulling back to look at you with wounded dignity, his lower lip jutting out in an exaggerated pout, “that french toast was a masterpiece.”
“baby,” you said, reaching up to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing over the sharp line of his cheekbone, “you used hamburger buns because i was out of regular bread.”
“innovation,” he said solemnly, leaning into your touch like a cat seeking warmth. “that’s what separates the great chefs from the merely good ones.”
you’d spent that night planning every detail, from the sugar flowers you’d craft by hand to the way you’d display each layer so guests could see the beautiful cross-section of your love story. he’d been unusually quiet as you worked, and you’d found him later at your kitchen table at two in the morning, surrounded by crumpled papers and wearing the ridiculous “kiss the cook” apron you’d gotten him as a joke, his shoulders curved in defeat.
“baby?” you’d whispered, padding over in your pajamas and his oversized gym shirt, your heart clenching at the sight of him looking so lost. “what are you doing?”
“trying to write my vows,” he’d said, voice rough with exhaustion and emotion, his hands buried in his hair. “but i can’t get it right. how do you put into words the moment someone becomes your whole world? how do you explain that you didn’t even know you were incomplete until they showed up and made everything make sense? how do you tell someone that they turned you from a man who thought love was a distraction into someone who can’t imagine existing without them?”
you’d climbed into his lap then, right there in the kitchen chair, your arms winding around his neck as you pressed soft kisses to his temple. together, you’d found the words. together, the way you did everything now.
the cake tasting had turned into an event in itself. you’d closed the bakery early on a tuesday afternoon, transforming the main floor into a private testing kitchen with the kind of nervous excitement you usually reserved for new recipe launches. your wedding cake, all seven layers of your love story, sat on the counter in individual slices, each layer labeled with a small card explaining its significance in your careful script.
“okay,” you’d said, suddenly nervous as you watched him approach the display, your hands smoothing down your flour-dusted apron for the hundredth time. “remember, these are just samples. the actual wedding cake will be much prettier, and the proportions will be better, and—”
“cupcake,” he’d interrupted gently, taking your flour-dusted hands in his, his thumbs stroking over your knuckles in that soothing way that never failed to calm your racing thoughts. “breathe. it’s perfect because you made it.”
the way he said it, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like perfection was just a natural byproduct of your touch, made your chest tight with emotion.
he’d insisted on tasting each layer separately, giving you detailed feedback like the world’s most devoted food critic, his expressions shifting from anticipation to bliss with each bite. the vanilla bean and salted caramel had made him close his eyes and hum appreciatively, a sound that sent heat curling through your stomach. the chocolate raspberry had earned a low whistle of approval that made your cheeks flush.
but you were just as gone for him, watching the way his face lit up with each taste, the way he’d pause and consider flavors with the same intensity he brought to everything else, the way his eyes would find yours after each bite like he needed to share the experience with you. when he reached for your hand during the coffee layer, threading your fingers together like he couldn’t bear not to be touching you, your heart did something ridiculous and fluttery in your chest.
“this one,” he’d said after trying the vanilla rose, his voice slightly rough, “tastes like that morning when you told me you loved me back. all sunshine and possibility.”
“you remember what i was wearing?” you’d asked, moving closer without really meaning to, drawn in by the softness in his expression.
“that yellow sundress with the little buttons,” he’d said immediately, his free hand coming up to trace the air where the buttons would have been. “you had flour in your hair and you kept fidgeting with the ties on your apron.”
the fact that he remembered those details, that he’d cataloged them like they mattered, made your breath catch.
but it was the honey lavender that had undone him completely. his whole body had gone still after the first bite, eyes fluttering closed, and for a moment you’d worried something was wrong. then his shoulders had started shaking slightly, and you’d realized with a start that he was crying.
“that’s it,” he’d said finally, his voice thick with emotion, eyes still closed like he was afraid to break the spell. “that’s the one.”
“which one?” you’d whispered, though part of you already knew.
“the feeling. the one you were trying to capture when you made it for me that first time.” he’d opened his eyes then, and they were bright with unshed tears that made your own eyes prickle in response. “it tastes like the moment i realized i was completely, hopelessly, forever in love with you.”
“satoru,” you’d breathed, and then you were kissing him, tasting honey and lavender and promises on his lips, both of you crying a little as you held each other in your expanded bakery surrounded by the evidence of how far you’d come.
“marry me tomorrow,” he’d mumbled against your lips, his hands fisting in the fabric of your dress like he was afraid you might disappear.
“we already have a date picked,” you’d laughed, but your voice was shaky with emotion.
“marry me right now then,” he’d said, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes wild and bright. “i don’t care about the dress or the flowers or any of it. i just want to be yours officially.”
the months leading up to the wedding had been a whirlwind of planning and preparation, but also of quiet domestic moments that felt like the real celebration
. mornings spent teaching him increasingly complex techniques, watching his confidence grow as he mastered croissant lamination and sugar work and the precise art of tempering chocolate, his tongue poking out slightly in concentration in a way that made your heart flutter.
afternoons working side by side, his playlist mixing with yours over the bakery’s sound system, creating the soundtrack to your shared life. evenings curled up on the couch, him reading nutrition labels to you while you sketched cake designs on his chest, both of you laughing at how perfectly your weird little habits complemented each other.
his social media had documented the whole journey, turning your followers into invested participants in your love story. posts about cake testing sessions and venue scouting, videos of him practicing his piping technique with the focused intensity he usually reserved for deadlifts, photos of you both covered in flour and grinning like idiots after successful experiments.
“wedding cake testing day 3: she’s perfect, the cakes are perfect, life is perfect #blessed #luckiestman #cakefortifiedgroom”
“month 12 of pastry school and she still hasn’t kicked me out. pretty sure that means i’m stuck with her forever #keeper #futurewife #sheputsupwitheverything”
the night before the wedding, he’d found you in the bakery’s kitchen at midnight, putting the finishing touches on the seven-layer masterpiece that would serve as the centerpiece of your reception. you’d been working for hours, crafting delicate sugar flowers by hand, each petal formed with the kind of patience and precision that had first caught his attention all those months ago.
“shouldn’t you be at your bachelor party?” you’d asked without looking up, your brow furrowed in concentration as you focused on attaching a particularly delicate rose to the top tier.
“nah,” he’d said, settling onto a stool at the work counter, his chin propped on his hands as he watched you work. “masaru and the guys went to some sports bar. figured they could celebrate my last night of freedom without me. i’d rather spend it watching you create magic.”
“it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,” you’d protested halfheartedly, but you were smiling as you worked, warmth spreading through your chest at his presence.
“pretty sure that’s just about the dress,” he’d said, his voice soft with adoration as he watched your steady hands. “besides, i’ve been watching you create beautiful things every day for over a year. why would i want to stop now?”
you’d worked in comfortable silence, him occasionally handing you tools or holding delicate pieces steady while you attached them, his presence calming in the way it always was. when you’d finally stepped back to admire the finished cake—seven layers of love story rising in perfect, elegant tiers—he’d let out a low whistle of appreciation that made your cheeks warm.
“damn, cupcake. that’s not a wedding cake. that’s art.”
“it’s us,” you’d said simply, wiping your hands on your apron, and somehow that had said everything.
standing at the altar the next day in his perfectly tailored tux, satoru felt like his heart might actually burst from his chest. the ceremony was perfect—intimate and personal, held in the garden behind flour & sugar with your closest friends and family gathered under fairy lights and white flowers, the lingering scent of the bakery’s ovens mixing with the evening air.
the space had been transformed, but it still felt like home. like you. white flowers and trailing greenery wound around the fence he’d painted himself, and small tables scattered throughout the garden held miniature versions of pastries from your menu, little bites of your love story for guests to enjoy.
his hands were shaking again, the same way they had the night he’d proposed, and he had to flex his fingers to keep them steady. his best man kept shooting him concerned looks, and masaru had actually brought smelling salts, tucked discretely in his jacket pocket, after satoru had nearly fainted during the rehearsal.
but none of his nerves mattered when the music started—an acoustic version of the song he’d learned to play for you, performed by a local musician you’d hired for the garden’s friday night performances. none of his anxiety mattered when the small crowd rose to their feet, turning toward the bakery’s back door with expectant smiles.
and then you appeared, and the whole world stopped.
you emerged from the bakery like something from a fairy tale, like every perfect thing he’d ever dreamed of and several he’d never been brave enough to imagine. your dress was ivory silk and lace, simple and elegant and perfectly you, flowing around you like spun sugar as you walked down the short aisle between chairs draped with white fabric and scattered with rose petals—roses that matched the sugar flowers crowning your wedding cake.
but it was your smile that completely undid him—radiant and bright and aimed directly at him like he was the only person in the world worth looking at. your eyes were sparkling with tears and joy and so much love that he had to blink rapidly to keep from sobbing right there in front of everyone. the way you looked at him, like he was worth waiting for, like he was worth choosing, every single day.
his knees went weak, and his best man steadied him with a firm hand on his shoulder.
when your father placed your hand in his, satoru had to take a shuddering breath because the moment felt too precious, too perfect to be real. your skin was soft and familiar, and he could feel the slight tremor in your fingers that matched his own nervous energy.
“hi,” you whispered, just for him, your voice slightly breathless, eyes sparkling with mischief and adoration.
“hi, beautiful,” he whispered back, his thumb tracing over your knuckles where his grandmother’s ring caught the golden hour light. “you ready to be stuck with me forever?”
“i’ve been ready since you demolished that first chocolate tart,” you said, your smile widening as you spoke, and he had to bite back a laugh because of course you’d make him smile even now, when his heart was trying to escape through his throat.
the ceremony passed in a blur of tears and laughter and promises that felt too big for words but somehow perfectly right. when the officiant finally said “you may kiss the bride,” satoru cupped your face like you were made of spun glass and kissed you like it was the first time and the last time and every time in between, pouring seven months of morning coffees and shared recipes and quiet domestic happiness into the moment.
the reception flowed seamlessly from ceremony to celebration, guests moving from the ceremony space to tables scattered throughout the garden and up onto the second floor of the bakery, which had been opened up and decorated with more fairy lights and flowing white fabric. the seven-layer cake stood in the center of it all, a tower of love story and sugar art that had guests stopping to take photos and marvel at the delicate details.
“ladies and gentlemen,” the musician announced as the sun set over your little empire, “the couple would like to cut their cake and share the story behind this incredible creation.”
you and satoru stood before the masterpiece, his hand warm and steady over yours on the knife handle, his chest pressed against your back as he murmured sweet nonsense in your ear that made you giggle. “ready?” you asked, looking up at him with eyes bright with happiness, your cheeks flushed with joy and champagne.
“been ready my whole life,” he said, his voice rough with emotion, and meant it.
together, you cut into the bottom layer, the vanilla bean and salted caramel that represented that first day, that first moment when his world had tilted on its axis. the cake was perfect—moist and flavorful and beautiful in cross-section, each layer visible and distinct, a rainbow of your love story made edible.
he lifted the first piece to your lips with hands that finally weren’t shaking, watching as you bit into it with a soft hum of approval, your eyes fluttering closed in pleasure. a tiny dot of frosting stuck to the corner of your mouth, and without thinking, he leaned in and kissed it away, slow and sweet, tasting sugar and promises and forever on your lips.
“best cheat day of my life,” he whispered against your temple, his lips curving into a smile against your skin, making you laugh—that bright, joyous sound that had become the soundtrack to his happiness.
you looked up at him, your husband, this beautiful impossible man who’d learned to love the quiet corners of your world and filled them with light and laughter and more joy than you’d ever thought possible, and felt your heart swell with so much love you thought it might actually burst.
“we’re just getting started,” you said, and kissed him again, sweet enough to rot his teeth, perfect enough to last forever.
as the night wound down and the last guests filtered out into the summer evening, you found yourselves back in the kitchen where it had all started, still in your wedding clothes but with bare feet and sleeves rolled up, sharing leftover cake and feeding each other bites while recounting the best moments of the day.
“i think,” satoru said, sitting on the floor with his back against the cabinets, you curled up between his legs with your head on his shoulder, his bow tie undone and hanging loose around his neck, “this might actually be better than my first chocolate tart.”
you gasped in mock offense, turning to look at him with wide eyes, your hand pressed dramatically to your chest. “better than the pastry that started it all? that’s basically blasphemy.”
“nah,” he said, catching your hand and pressing a kiss to your ring finger, right over the simple gold band that now sat beside his grandmother’s engagement ring. “the chocolate tart was just the beginning. this is the happily ever after.”
you looked at him, this man who’d stumbled into your carefully ordered world and turned it into something sweeter, richer, more alive than you’d ever imagined possible, and knew with absolute certainty that this was what love looked like. not the dramatic, movie-perfect romance you’d once imagined, but this: wedding cake and bare feet and quiet promises made in kitchen light, surrounded by the beautiful life you’d built together from flour and sugar and impossible patience.
tag list : @akeisryna @esotericsorrow @prettilyrisse @cherrymoon55 @linaaeatsfamilies @k0z3me @ilovebeansyay @ethereal-moonlit @anathemaspeaks @fancypeacepersona @scryarchives @chieeeeeee @snowsilver2000 @k-kkiana
♡ Synopsis: in which your ex boyfriend left you with your biggest blessing in life, or- a bundle of a blessing. And he doesn’t even know it.
♡ tags/warnings: 18+, (explicit content in later chapters) angst, and drama, exes to lovers, hidden baby trope, Toji is an asshole (but we love him), Reader just wants to raise Megumi in peace, CEO Toji, possessive Toji, emotionally constipated Toji, Tension, misunderstandings, Flashbacks to past relationship, Heavy themes of abandonment, trust issues, and redemption, baby Megumi is a cutie, Megumi is a mama’s boy, reader works at a flower shop, Hidden Baby Trope
♡ Masterlist ♡ Previous ♡ Next
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“Thank you for inviting me to Megumi’s party, Miss Y/N,” Yuuji says, beaming up at you with sparkling brown eyes, little wisps of pink hair poking out from under his too-big beanie. He clearly practiced the line, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, then glancing back at his father for reassurance.
You crouch down with a soft laugh, tugging the beanie gently over his ears with your gloved hands. “Of course, Yuuji. You’re one of his best friends!”
His smile is so sweet it makes your heart ache. Your maternal instincts nearly shed a tear on the spot.
Megumi groans beside you, puffing his cheeks out and frowning in that terribly adorable way of his. “Mom,” he huffs, tugging at the hem of your coat. “Let’s go. It’s snowing more now.”
You glance up at the pale sky, where snowflakes have started to drift faster against the city skyline. A light dusting already coats the stone steps of the school.
You stand, smoothing down your coat, and give Jin a polite smile. “Thanks again for bringing him next week. It’ll just be a little get-together at our place with a cake.”
Jin nods, though his brows are drawn slightly, like he’s debating whether or not to say something.
It’s jarring, standing face to face with Sukuna’s brother who for all intents and purposes, feels like a different species entirely.
Jin is slimmer, softer-spoken. His presence is gentle, almost careful. Where Ryomen’s sharp features and imposing frame demand attention the moment he walks into a room, Jin feels like the opposite, quiet and unassuming. They share the same pink hair and striking eyes, but the similarities end there.
“I hope it’s alright if my brother drops Yuuji off at the party,” Jin says with a trace of concern in his voice. “I’ll be traveling most of the break, and Yuuji’s staying with him.”
You pause, just for a second. Just long enough to feel your stomach twist.
Of course Jin knows who Megumi is. Who you are. He might not have been part of that infamous friend group, but he’s Ryomen’s brother. That alone makes him familiar enough with them. Toji included.
You’d never crossed paths with Jin back then, but after that playdate from hell with Ryomen a few months ago, you’re sure Jin got an earful from his psycho sibling.
The thought of Ryomen stepping foot into your home makes your skin crawl.
But if it means Yuuji gets to come to Megumi’s party… so be it.
God. The things you’d do for your child!
“It’s fine, Jin,” you say, forcing a smile that softens when you hear Yuuji let out an excited little squeal.
“Have a great start to your winter break,” you tell them warmly, giving a wave as Megumi tugs you toward the parking lot.
Your boots click against the marble as you walk. The cold air bites your cheeks. Snow falls in gentle spirals, dusting cars and blanketing the city in white. Megumi’s gloved hand is small in yours, but determined, and your heart swells at the thought of having him all to yourself for the next two weeks.
Or at least, it should swell. But something clenches tight in your chest. An invisible grip that’s been there for days now. Ever since Megumi asked you if his father would be at his party. Ever since you said yes.
It’s been a week of stalling. A week of busying yourself to avoid the inevitable. A selfish part of you wondered, hoped, that Megumi might forget the conversation altogether.
But you quickly shut that thought down. You’d do anything for your son. Anything to make him happy, Even if it means reaching out to Toji.
You’ve stared at that slip of paper Suguru gave you so many times this week, you’ve practically memorized the number. And still… you haven’t found the nerve to call.
You’re just settling into the car when Megumi delivers the final push.
“Mommy,” he says casually as you buckle your seatbelt, “I told Yuuji that my dad is coming.”
Your jaw subtly drops. You twist around to look at him. “Yeah? Are you excited to meet him?”
Megumi shrugs, his green eyes trained on the falling snow outside his window. “Yuuji says his uncle knows him.” Your fingers tighten around the steering wheel. Your pulse spikes.
Of course Ryomen said something in front of Yuuji. That’s the only way he would’ve known!
“He does, sweetheart,” you say carefully. “He’s a friend of your father’s.”
Megumi goes quiet for a moment before he finally asks the question that freezes you solid. “How come Yuuji knows my dad… and I don’t?” You glance at him in the rearview mirror.
And suddenly, everything makes sense. The questions. The subtle shift in behavior. He’s been talking to Yuuji. Hearing things from other kids. Piecing things together.
You’re silent as you drive, contemplating your answer. Luckily for Megumi, the drive home is short. Just ten quiet minutes through tree-lined streets and under the soft glow of passing streetlamps. You pass manicured hedges and rows of elegant, ivy-draped townhomes, their windows lit warmly like little golden frames.
Your building is smaller than most. Quaint. Tucked between a bakery and an old bookstore that always smells faintly of lavender. Still, it’s yours.
You pull into your designated spot, the gravel crunching softly beneath the tires, and cut the engine with a slow, tired sigh.
You unbuckle your seatbelt and step out… but instead of circling to the backseat, you slip in beside Megumi. He looks up at you, confused, but says nothing.
You just couldn’t have this conversation with your back to him.
“Megumi,” you say gently, brushing his hair back from his face. “I know you’ve been feeling a little curious about your daddy lately. I’m sorry I haven’t told you more.”
His big green eyes blink at you. So full of trust it nearly knocks the breath from your chest.
“Before you were born, your daddy and I loved each other very much. That’s how you came to be,” you explain softly, your fingers lightly smoothing his dark brows.
He nods, but a small pout forms on his lips. “…But now you don’t?” Your expression softens.
“I still love him very much,” you admit quietly. “And even though you two haven’t met yet, I promise he loves you more than anything. Sometimes adults make mistakes. Silly, hurtful choices. Your daddy and I made some of those mistakes. But it doesn’t change how much we love you.”
You flinch a little at your own words. At the truth buried in them. You do still love Toji, even when he didn’t love you back.
Megumi’s pout shifts into a scowl. “Did Daddy apologize to you?” You almost laugh. His little face is scrunched with outrage. You press a kiss to his forehead. “We both have some apologizing to do. But especially to you.”
“Mama, you don’t have to apologize,” he insists, clearly offended on your behalf. You raise a brow. “But I do. I’m sorry I haven’t brought your daddy around before. I promise I’ll fix that.”
Megumi shifts, resting his head on your shoulder, still grumbling. “Daddy’s a dummy… don’t say sorry to him.” You blink, surprised. “Where’d you hear that from?”
You don’t need to guess. Either Yuuji, or something he overheard from Ryomen.
You sigh, holding your little boy tighter, wishing he could understand just how much of a dummy you feel like. Maybe you should’ve tried harder. Searched longer! Maybe if you’d told Toji sooner, when you found out, you could’ve spared Megumi this ache in his heart.
You end up carrying him up to your apartment, the warm air curling around you like a hug as you step inside.
Today’s the day.
You’ll call Toji.
But not yet. First, a hot shower to melt away the nerves curling beneath your skin, and then a warm cup of cocoa in your favorite chipped mug, the one Megumi always insists on holding with both hands like you do.
Because Megumi comes first, he always does.
And if you're going to shake the foundation of everything - your peace, Toji’s silence, the quiet little world you've managed to build - you’ll do it only after your son is fast asleep, safe and dreaming… unaware that somewhere, a past is beginning to stir again.
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Toji’s day had been nothing short of insufferable.
It started early, with a call just after dawn. Takeda, his driver, sounded unusually subdued. A family emergency. Serious enough to take him out for the foreseeable future. Toji listened quietly, fingers tapping against the kitchen counter as he sipped his first coffee of the morning.
“It’s alright, Takeda. Take all the time you need. Just forward the dates to my assistant,” he said, before ending the call.
He could be an understanding man when he wanted to be!
And this wasn’t really a setback at all. He had options. A rotating list of backup drivers, assistants, staff who’d scramble with a single text. But today? He didn’t bother.
So he dressed in tailored charcoal slacks, shrugged into a thick wool coat, and slid into the driver’s seat of his Aston Martin Vantage. The sleek gunmetal one he’d had for years. Still purred like the day he bought it.
Outside, the sky was already bruising gray, and light snow dusted his windshield in soft, steady flakes. Tokyo traffic was its usual brand of apocalyptic. Roads closed without warning. Detours stretching across the city like a joke told at his expense.
A drive that should’ve taken twenty minutes stretched to fifty. Every red light, every sudden stop chipped away at his patience. By the time he pulled up to the gleaming Zenin Financial tower, nearly an hour late, no one said a word.
Toji hated being late. He expected precision from others, and even more from himself. The fact that the floor was already humming with movement when he walked in only added to the tension crawling down his spine.
And the day was just getting started.
His assistant, or rather, the intern subbing in while his real one was abroad, greeted him with a little too much pep for the current mood. She handed him a coffee with a nervous smile, which faltered slightly under his unreadable stare.
He took a sip. And immediately regretted it.
Way too sweet. Syrupy. Hazelnut, of all things. Clung to the back of his throat like glue. He swallowed it down anyway, lips pressing into a thin line. It was the kind of drink you used to love. More sugar than caffeine.
He didn’t say anything. Just set it on his desk and left it there, untouched and rapidly cooling into something completely useless.
The board meeting that followed somehow managed to make things worse. Two of his highest-paid execs, the CFO and Director of Global Assets, devolved into a shouting match over some mishandled reallocation overseas. Grown adults, red-faced and bickering like children.
Toji sat through it in silence, one hand rubbing slow, exhausted circles into his temple. The minutes crawled by. His jaw ached from how tightly he’d been clenching it.
Lunch came and went. He didn’t bother.
There wasn’t time to actually go anywhere, and nothing sounded appealing anyway. He ended up gnawing on a sad, half-eaten protein bar he found in his drawer. Dry as hell. More obligation than nourishment.
By the time the sun dipped past the skyline, the world outside had melted into a blur of neon and twilight. The windows of his office fogged slightly at the edges, framing a glittering Tokyo below. He could’ve stayed late. Probably should’ve. He had a stack of reports waiting, numbers he could pick apart, details to obsess over.
But tonight he just didn’t have it in him.
He wanted to go home, pour a drink, turn off his brain! That was all. His phone buzzed on the desk, a message from Gojo asking the group to meet at Horizon.
Toji snorted.
Not a fucking chance. Last time he went, he ended up in the tabloids with some woman he barely remembered talking to, and the hangover was not worth the PR cleanup. Tonight, he’d rather be asleep after nursing some of his criminally overpriced scotch.
He slipped back into the car, the leather seat cool against his back. The engine murmured to life, low and familiar. And for the first time all day, something in him began to loosen.
His penthouse was waiting. High above Roppongi, all dark marble and clean lines, floor-to-ceiling glass framing a city that never quite slept. The silence there wasn’t comforting exactly, but it was predictable. And right now, that was good enough.
He could already feel the weight lifting as he merged into traffic.
Then his phone lit up again.
A number. No name. Just digits.
He stared at it.
Almost didn’t answer.
Ordinarily, he wouldn’t have. Would have let it ring, let voicemail chew on it and spit it out. But something about this number gave him pause. It wasn’t quite recognition — more like a soft tug in the back of his mind, something familiar, buried and half-remembered.
His thumb hovered for a beat before he finally pressed accept.
“…Hello?”
There was nothing at first. Just the soft purr of the engine, the faint rush of tires over slush, and a quiet crackle of static on the line. He waited, jaw clenched, irritation already beginning to rise. If this was another robocall, one of those idiots trying to sell him something he didn’t need, he was going to throw the phone out the damn window.
“Toji… hi.”
His entire body went still.
The traffic, the sting in his temple, even the wheel beneath his palms - all of it faded. That voice. It was soft, unsure, like you didn’t know if you had the right number. But he knew. He had known the second he heard it.
It hit him hard, like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened, the leather groaning beneath his fingers. He hadn’t heard your voice in six years, and yet here it was. Alive. Real. Slipping through the speaker like it had never left.
“T-this is Y/N,” you added quietly.
He nearly laughed. Not because it was funny, but because the absurdity of it all knocked the air from his lungs. As if you needed to introduce yourself. As if he could’ve forgotten. Your voice had camped out in the corners of his mind long after you were gone. He’d tried to drown it in work, noise, late nights, women. Nothing had worked.
And now you sounded nervous.
That twisted something deep in his gut. You were always the calm one. Steady. Kind. So why the hell did you sound like you were standing on a ledge?
He ran a hand down his face, as if that might ground him somehow.
“Y/N.” His voice came out rougher than he meant, like he hadn’t spoken in days. Just saying your name out loud did something to him. It brought everything back with it—the ache, the questions, the ghost of who you’d been to each other.
You were calling.
You. After everything.
And he couldn’t stop asking himself why.
“I’m sorry, Toji. I know this must be a bit of a shock, but… I wanted to talk.”
He swallowed hard. The pressure in his chest hadn’t eased since he saw your name flash across the screen. If anything, it was getting worse—tight and aching, like his body couldn’t quite remember how to relax.
“About?”
The word left him sharper than he meant it to. It felt distant, almost biting, and he hated that. Hated that his instinct was to pull away, to block you out when you were the last person who deserved his coldness.
But he couldn’t help it. His voice betrayed what he refused to name: the way his heart had started to race the moment he heard your voice again.
“I’m sorry,” you said again, even softer now. “I wanted to know if we could talk. In person.”
You kept apologizing - and it undid him. After all this time, you were still the same. Still gentle, still soft around the edges. Still offering your heart in quiet ways. And he… he had been the one to walk away from all of it.
The silence that followed was heavy, stretched taut between you like a thread on the verge of snapping.
You must have sensed it fraying, because your voice rushed in to fill the space—uneven, small, uncertain.
“It’s just… there’s something I really need to tell you.”
He closed his eyes and let out a long breath through his nose. And when he spoke again, his voice had already drifted, distant, as if his mind had stepped away from the conversation entirely.
He could practically see you now. Not as a memory, but like a vision playing just beyond the windshield. You, pacing the floor of your small apartment, wrapped in one of those oversized sweaters you always wore when you comfortable and home.
The phone pressed to your ear, your brow furrowed with thought, your lip caught between your teeth, pink from chewing. Every part of you brimming with hesitation, with the weight of something that had lived unspoken for far too long.
That image alone, faint and imagined as it was, ached somewhere deep in his chest.
“Send me your address,” he said finally, his voice lower than before as he maneuvered through the blinking lights and crowded streets of Tokyo. Home no longer felt like a destination, not when he was already in motion toward something far more important.
There was a pause on the other end. Hesitation, soft and telling.
“It’s… the same as before. I’ll send it to you,” you murmured, and his grip on the steering wheel tightened.
You were still there? After all this time? Still in that little apartment on the edge of the city?
“No need,” he replied, clearing his throat as he switched lanes, the skyline shifting as he made his way toward the quiet neighborhood he had gone out of his way to avoid for the last six years. “I remember. I’ll be there in twenty. There’s traffic.”
“Okay,” you said, your voice smaller than before, barely more than a breath. He knew that tone. He remembered the way your voice dipped when you were scared, when something was wrong, when you didn’t know how to say the next thing.
Why did you sound like that now? Why tonight, after six years of silence, had you chosen to call?
He glanced down at the time—just past 8 p.m.—then back to the road, headlights passing like ghosts.
“I’ll see you then,” you said, quiet and steady, pulling him back into the moment. The line went dead a second later.
And still, he drove.
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You’re restless.
Megumi’s already been tucked into bed. You got off the phone with Toji a few minutes ago and somehow just hearing his voice had been enough to bring tears to your eyes.
Now you’re pacing your apartment, unable to sit still.
Your eyes scan every corner, checking for anything that might look out of place. You shuffle between the living room and bathroom, adjusting the throw pillows, smoothing down the rug, fixing your hair in the mirror. Then you catch yourself and scoff. Why do you even care what your hair looks like right now?
Everything feels unsteady! You’re anxious in a way that makes your skin buzz. And in moments like this, you wish more than anything that you had someone to call.
Being a single mom and running your own business hasn’t exactly left room for a social life. Most of your time is spoken for.
Sure, you’ve gotten friendly with a few of the other parents in Megumi’s class, but those relationships are surface-level. No one you could actually call up and say, “Hey, my ex is coming over tonight. The same ex who doesn’t even know he’s my kid’s father. What do I do?”
It’s ridiculous!
What’s worse is that the one person you would have called back then was Satoru. Satoru Gojo, who ghosted you just like the rest of them did after Toji walked out.
Ironically, he used to be your closest friend. You always found him hilarious, and underneath the sunglasses and playboy rich kid act, he was kind. A nerd, really. You both loved the same video games and often read the same books in your free time. He used to call you his partner in crime, especially when you were ganging up on Toji with teasing jokes.
You talked to him about everything.
Now he’s gone too.
You let out a small, humorless laugh. Video games. You can’t even remember the last time you played one. There was a time when you had actual hobbies, strong opinions, little things that lit you up outside of baby bottles and semi-annual clothing sales for your growing child.
The thought makes your stomach twist, because Megumi is your life.
Nothing, nothing, brings you more joy than watching him thrive. But still, if you’re honest with yourself, the quiet longing is always there. The little things you once enjoyed have fallen by the wayside. And yet, every smile your baby gives you outweighs those lost pieces of yourself.
You sigh, sinking deeper into the couch, your knee bouncing in a steady, anxious rhythm. Your eyes are locked on the television, though you’re not really watching. The news drones on, the only remotely interesting story being about some upcoming community pet adoption event. God, this is a nightmare.
You’re left here waiting, like a sitting duck, and your thoughts give you no reprieve.
Still, you sit. You watch. You force yourself to breathe and try, with trembling effort, to pull yourself together.
And yet, when the knock finally comes, you still flinch.
Your eyes snap to your phone. 8:20 p.m. Just like he said.
God. Would it have killed him to be late for once? You could’ve used the extra few minutes to spiral some more. Maybe rearrange the throw pillows for the third time. Maybe cry!
You push up from the couch, suddenly remembering just how cold it is outside. The temperature had dropped hard after sunset, and the snowfall had thickened into sheets. You picture him out there - refusing to text like a normal person, freezing his ass off in a suit and tie.
God.
With one last frazzled attempt to fix your hair by the door, you swing it open and immediately come face-to-chest with the dark slate of a wool coat. Warm air from inside meets the crisp cold from outside, and for a second you just stand there, blinking.
Looks like he didn’t freeze.
Your chin lifts, eyes meeting his - and just like that, you forget how to breathe.
Toji Zenin is standing in your doorway. Six years older than the last time you saw him, and somehow even more devastating than you remember.
Those eyes. That impossible green that still makes your heart seize. His nose is still perfectly straight, save for the slight crookedness near the bridge from when he broke it falling off a bike as a kid. His cheekbones have only gotten sharper, his jaw more defined. Gone is the last trace of youth that softened his features. Now, he looks like everything you tried to forget. And failed to.
You always felt a little betrayed that Megumi ended up looking just like his father. But seeing Toji now, you think maybe your son hit the genetic jackpot.
He’s looking at you, too. Really looking. His gaze drags over your face like he’s trying to piece together who you’ve become, studying every detail like he’s afraid to blink. You don't know what he sees, but whatever it is, it’s making your knees feel alarmingly weak.
A cold gust cuts through the street behind him, snow swirling around his shoulders, and you instinctively shiver. Without thinking, you step back and open the door wider.
“Come in. It’s freezing outside,” you manage, your voice softer than you want it to be. Shaky, almost. You hate that.
Toji hesitates just for a second, then steps over the threshold, closing the door behind him.
Now inside, away from the cold and standing in the entrance of your home, he’s immediately hit with a wave of nostalgia. This tiny hallway that opens into the living room, the kitchen just off to the side with its familiar round wooden table. A beautiful floral centerpiece sits perfectly in the middle, just as he’d expect from you, a small reflection of your talent.
Beyond that, another short passage leads to your room, the spare bedroom, and the bathroom nestled between them.
He knows this place like the back of his hand.
The powder blue couch. The slightly worn furniture passed down from some distant relative. The soft golden lights that bathe everything in a warm glow. It all feels so distinctly you—gentle and inviting.
“Sorry,” you say quickly, trying to fill the silence. “I just realized I don’t have any slippers in your size.”
Your words snap him back to the present. He glances down, then up at you, caught between memory and reality.
That look on your face. It's like you’re bracing for something, like you’re waiting for him to snap at you.
It tugs at something in his chest he doesn’t want to name.
Toji attempts a smile. It’s not much, tight and uneasy - but it’s something. He shrugs out of his coat, revealing a dark suit and silk tie, crisp from a long day at the office.
“Don’t worry about it,” he murmurs, voice low as he toes off his boots.
But then he pauses. Eyes fixed on something by the door.
Two small sneakers, neatly lined up next to your own.
He stares. Long enough for your stomach to twist.
You follow his gaze. And your breath catches.
“W-why don’t you come sit?” you say, voice brittle. “I can get you something to drink.”
You turn before he can respond - half walking, half fleeing toward the kitchen, where the counter offers a merciful barrier. Your pulse hammers in your ears.
The door is closed now. He’s here. He saw the shoes. He hasn’t asked.
Not yet.
And your hands are shaking.
You’ve barricaded yourself in the kitchen, fumbling with mismatched mugs and digging through the clutter of sweeteners you always kept on hand. He watches in silence, choosing to stay on the couch rather than make it worse. You clearly hate that he’s here—or at least, it seems that way—but something must’ve pushed you to call him, to invite him into this space again.
So he’s merciful. Quiet. He sinks into your powder blue couch and waits, eyes following every anxious motion you make until you finally return, two steaming mugs cradled in your hands.
He quirks a brow as you hand one to him. A waft of herbal scent rises from the rim. Tea. You made tea.
“So... how’ve you been?” Toji breaks the silence, just after your third deep breath.
Your head snaps toward him, eyes wide like he’s jumped ahead of the script playing out in your mind.
“I’ve been okay... how about yourself?” you ask, voice barely steady.
He almost rolls his eyes. You’re stalling. You look like you’re about to piss your pants. Just what the hell is going on here?
Still, he can’t be too mad, not when looking at your face is as beautiful as he remembers.
“I’m fine, Y/N. What’d you wanna talk about? And how’d you even get my number?” Toji sighs, taking a slow sip of tea. It tastes exactly the way he likes it. You still remember.
“Well, um... I ran into Suguru a few months ago,” you admit, eyes on your lap. “He insisted I have your new number. Said I should reach out to you. Please don’t be mad at him.”
Your fingers are nervously fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve, twisting a loose thread as if it’s the only thing tethering you to this moment. You refuse to look up at him. If you did, the tears would probably start.
Toji stares at you, a knot growing in his chest. You look scared. Really scared. Ready to break. And now he’s scared too.
Are you sick? Is it something terminal? Did someone hurt you? Why did Suguru see you and say nothing? Why are you talking like he’ll be angry?
It’s like you can read his spiraling thoughts.
“I made Suguru swear secrecy. I didn’t want him telling you what he saw,” you whisper.
Still, you won’t look at him. Your mug sits untouched on the coffee table.
“Y/N... what’s going on?” he asks, voice lower now, edged with something unfamiliar. Fear. “You’re worrying me. Are you sick? Did something happen?”
The way you’re building this up, the way your hands won’t stop trembling, he’s starting to think you’re going to tell him you’re dying!
Instinctively, he places a hand on your knee, grounding himself in the moment, but jerks it back the second your body locks up at the touch.
He’s never really been an anxious man but your anxiety is damn near infectious.
Finally, you move. You rise slowly, walk to the TV console, and kneel down to pull something from the cabinet. A small, soft blue book. A photo album?
You hold it against your chest for a moment before making your way back to the couch. You sit beside him again, not quite touching.
He watches you closely. Every breath, every hesitation. Your eyes meet his at last, and they’re glassy - tears threatening to spill over, but still holding the line.
He wants to pull you into his arms, bury your face in his chest the way he used to. But he doesn’t. He knows he has no right.
“Here,” you whisper. You offer him the album, still refusing to look at him. “Open this.”
Your gaze stays locked on the cover, refusing to meet his again. You’re curling in on yourself, as if you could disappear into the cushions if you just tried hard enough.
Toji tears his eyes away from you and down to the album in his hands. Baby blue, soft to the touch. In the center, in your unmistakable handwriting:
“Megumi, my love!”
His heart skips.
Megumi. Your love. An M name. The letter he saw on your necklace that night he found your social media profile again...
He opens the book, and the first page punches the air from his lungs.
It’s a photo. Just one. A printed image, slipped beneath the plastic sheet.
It’s you in a hospital bed, younger than you are now. Your hair is shorter, like it had been when he last saw you. Your face is fuller, flushed and tear-streaked, and still, you’re smiling. Beaming, even.
In your arms is a bundle of soft blue. A newborn, barely the size of a loaf of bread. A shock of black hair peeks out from beneath the cap.
Beneath the image, handwritten in pen:
“December 22nd is the day I had you, my little Megumi. A kind nurse took this picture. Look at how tiny you are!”
He doesn’t know how long he sits there, frozen, staring at the photo.
You don’t say a word. Not beside him. You don’t move, don’t breathe. Dread is gnawing through your stomach like a slow burn.
And Toji—Toji can’t even lift his head.
“You had… a baby,” he says, voice hollow with disbelief after long moments of paralyzed silence.
You nod, even though he won’t look at you. “Go to the next page,” you whisper, eyes fluttering shut to stop any more tears from slipping out.
He obeys.
And then freezes again.
You're not in these photos. It’s all Megumi - sleeping soundly in a little wooden crib, swaddled in a close-up shot in your arms, glowering up at the camera with those unmistakable green eyes. The exact same shade as his own.
Toji has always prided himself on his composure. But in this moment, staring at that tiny face, he fears he’s forgotten how to breathe.
At the bottom of the page, he sees more of your writing.
“First week home! You weigh eight pounds and five ounces. I don’t think you could really see yet? Mommy has to read more baby books… Regardless, look at your pretty green eyes!”
Impulsively, he shuts the book.
He turns to you with a sort of mortified quiet, completely undone.
You don’t say anything at first. You just let the tears fall freely now since there’s no point in holding them back.
“He’s… our baby, Toji,” you manage to say, voice breaking. “He’s ours.”
Toji has never been a man of many words, but now you've done it, you've rendered him completely mute. He stares at you, his head practically spinning as the gravity of his actions six years ago dawns on him.
He left you, cut you off, stopped you from ever being able to reach him again - and you were pregnant.
Young, alone, probably terrified, and pregnant.
And it was all his fault.
You watch him, your face pained and the silent tears unrelenting. Years worth of heartache has all led up to this moment, and you find yourself struggling to put up a stronger front.
Because with Toji, you never had to act strong.
He had once been your safe space in this cold and unfair world. And it seems like your heart can't distinguish the man in front of you from the man who abandoned you all those years ago like your brain can.
"Megumi wants to meet you," you admit after a long stretch of silence, your shoulders drooping in defeat. "That’s why I finally decided to call you."
Toji doesn't move. His jaw is tight, his expression unreadable — but finally, he speaks.
"Why didn’t you tell me… when you had the chance?"
You look away, guilt twisting inside you like a knife. "I tried. For so long." The laugh that escapes you is brittle. "Honestly, it got embarrassing."
Your eyes stay low, but his stay fixed on you - watching, listening, like he’s seeing you clearly for the first time.
"The week of Megumi’s first birthday, I was desperate. You had missed so much already… I didn’t want you to miss that too." Your voice cracks, and you press your hands to your face as your shoulders tremble. "He was already saying ‘Dada,’ and I just felt so alone."
You try to collect yourself before continuing, though your voice is still uneven.
"I paid for a babysitter. It was out of my budget at the time, but I was so determined. I couldn’t bring him with me - it was freezing out, and he was still so little, I was terrified he’d get sick. So I left him home and went to your office building."
You hesitate for a beat. Then, with a soft exhale:
"Security escorted me out as soon as they recognized me. Said it was on your orders." Your laugh is quiet this time - empty and raw. "But I was so stubborn."
You wipe at your eyes, but it’s no use. Everything is blurry now.
"I waited outside for a while. I don't know, I kept hoping I’d see you… or someone I knew. But nothing. Just time passing."
You finally lift your head and meet his eyes - and the sight of him startles you. His gaze is glassy, wet. He’s not crying, not really. But he’s close.
"I think that’s when I gave up on you too," you whisper, giving him a sad smile, small and tired. "I stopped waiting."
summary: on the rare occasion that sukuna takes his nephew out to the park, he notices another kid with blush pink hair— a baby to be exact. he tries not to stare too much, but it’s hard not to, it’s a rare hair color. it’s not until the baby’s mother takes her out of the swing set and back into her stroller when he realizes why you ghosted him almost 2 years ago.
genre/warnings: hidden child trope, ex-fwb to co-parents to lovers, horrible communication, angst, fluff, smut
notes: I'm posting this to get it out of the way now, but I'll do the tags a little later. Anyways, you've seen the sneak peeks, enjoy! 8.5k w/c
m.list | part nine | part ten | part eleven
He’s been on the phone for hours, with multiple people— his manager, his coach, the team’s PR manager. Even the owner of the team, who was profusely apologizing to Sukuna despite having no fault in it whatsoever. He just didn’t want to accidentally piss off the star player even more.
And pissed is an understatement, he is livid.
You thought you’d seen it all with Sukuna, at least in terms of his temper, but it reached heights unheard of today. He’s been outside on the balcony this entire time yet the bass of his voice managed to reach yours and Yomi’s ears through the heavy door that separates you from him. You heard all the threats and degrading names that’ve been flying out of his mouth ever since he saw his daughter's entire face plastered on some exposé titled “Sukuna’s Secret Life”.
It was concerning at first, knowing how sensitive Yomi could be and the fact that she’s never actually seen her dad angry. You were so sure she’d get scared, but aside from the short breaks she takes from playing to side-eye him, she only really cares about the toys laid out in front of her.
Which is somewhat funny, but also a little alarming.
For as much as he coddles her dramatic little self, you’d think she’d return the favor by showing some concern over him yelling over the phone for hours, but she doesn’t. It’s almost as if his behavior and sudden outbursts were an inconvenience for her from the way she just stops playing. Yeah— he was loud, but not enough for it to serve as an interruption for whatever she was making her labubu’s talk about.
You’re not sure whether you want to laugh or scoff at the way she refuses to acknowledge him, despite clearly being aware of his mood. It’s moments like this that make you wonder if there was a line that needed to be drawn, and if she was even old enough for that.
Children are naturally selfish— especially Sayomi, who probably won’t ever have to beg for your attention or Sukuna's, let alone wonder if you love her.
Being selfish is good, you both agreed on that. You want her to unapologetically be herself. For her to go through life with her head held up high, making decisions with her happiness in mind and not just because someone pushed her to.
Of course you also want her to think of others, to be a kind and uplifting person, but only when she knows they won’t try to pull her down in the process.
Discernment. You can go so far with just that skill alone. But from the looks of it, you’ll most likely have to focus on the ‘thinking about others’ part first if she doesn’t grow out of this little phase that’s filled with a hurtful amount of sass and glares.
Then again, she’s an only child. There isn’t anyone around that’ll teach her what sharing is or how to be a team player in general. You thought Yuji would help out with that, but he’s too fucking nice. On top of knowing he has to be extra gentle and patient with her, he’s just nicer to girls in general, thanks to Yuki and Choso. He already shows up with the full intent of sharing his toys.
Sayomi couldn’t even yank something out of his hand if she tried, he’s already handing her whatever’s in his hand before she gets the chance to think about it. She’s tried to yank things out of your hands before, but quickly learned to stop after getting called out by her father. It’s not the same though. She’s not learning to be nice to other people, she’s learning to be nice to her mother who she knows wouldn’t leave her. She just stopped because she doesn’t like getting scolded by her dad.
And then there’s Sukuna. The worst she’s done is smack him and all he did was make fun of her for acting like a little psycho— didn’t last long either. He ended up having to console her after laughing a little too hard at one of his own jokes.
There was the option to put her in a daycare, which he immediately shut down. Word for word, he said, “I’m not sending my little girl somewhere that’s infested with a bunch of snot-nosed brats.”
As if that wouldn’t happen in regular school, but you let it go. You pick and choose your battles wisely with him when it comes to parenting her, and figured getting an early start to the whole socialization thing wasn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, especially with all the quality time she gets with her family in general.
Though there was another option that sat in the back of your mind.
Giving Sayomi a sibling.
The thought’s been there, it didn’t help that you had your own reasons for wanting another one either. Not right this second or even this year, but one day.
Picturing Sukuna taking care of a little newborn was something you’ve been indulging in more than you’d like to admit. It was more on the delusional side too, but you couldn’t help it— not after seeing the way he dotes on the child you two already share together. He cherishes her in a way every child deserves to be cherished. It’s sincere. Unconditional. The kind of love everyone deserved to experience.
It put you in a strange spot where wanting one was bad given your situation, but it also wasn't a crime.
You always thought that if the desire ever came, it’d be from missing the crawling stage or just wanting a bigger family in general. Yet here you were, wanting one more baby from Sukuna so you could simply watch them grow up with the same tenderness Sayomi’s being raised with.
He makes it look so easy. You wonder if he’s ever realized that— how much better off the world would be if everyone received the same amount of care and patience he gave to Sayomi.
But you also wonder if there's enough room in his heart for another one. If he even wanted to make more room, or if he was content with just one.
It felt selfish after swearing up and down at one point that he wasn’t cut out to be a dad. Not to mention you two still have your own issues to work through and aren't even together yet.
So you hold back and keep your little thoughts of having a mini Yomi to yourself, especially now. Given how much of a nightmare this exposé has been, you doubt he’d even want another kid at this point.
You were angry about it too, but you also leaned more towards feeling spooked. You barely left your neighbourhood to begin with, seeing that many photos of the three of you, or even just you and Yomi, was unnerving. At the shopping mall, the farmers market, gas station, getting fucking ice cream. Not to mention all the photos they’ve found of you and the baby online, whoever did it must’ve sent a friend request to a distant family member that had no concept of internet safety.
To think that you would’ve never guessed it either made it worse.
Sayomi’s really the only reason why you haven’t had another panic attack. She’s surprisingly really good at distracting you, especially since she’s started making her toys talk to each other. Deciphering what she’s making them talk about was impossible though. All you know is whether they're arguing or not, but there wasn't much of a pattern to that. You thought she’d make her labubu’s argue today from watching her dad arguing on the phone, but you were proud to say they’ve been nice to each other all afternoon.
Outside, you hear Sukuna yell out one last and final “FUCK”, before opening the door and stepping back inside the living room. He’s mumbling something about someone being a useless piece of shit, all while looking like shit himself. Hair all over the place from running his hands through it, pupils blown out, and dark circles you only noticed when your eyes finally met his.
He was supposed to spend the weekend resting, not raging out over his daughter’s privacy.
“Dada,” your daughter breaks the silence, twisting her head back to look at him as if she’d be waiting for him to get off the phone.
“Hm?” he all but raises his brows, silently praying to fucking god that she doesn’t—
“Abubu1 play?” she asks, raising one in her hand.
1Labubu
He’s never been a fan or seen the appeal. In fact, he hates her whole entire fucking collection of them. They remind him of those furbies Jin used to collect, except these ones looked like they got crafted into voodoo dolls by Satan himself.
He just stares at first with a dumbfounded look on his face. He spent the first half of the day fighting for her privacy, and now she wants him to play with one of the stuffed demon bears you can’t seem to stop bringing home.
“No thanks,” he curtly declines.
“Mama.”
Is she trying to fucking snitch on him?
You try your best to keep your composure. Now’s not the time to laugh over how offended they both look. You lightly clear your throat, and that annoyed him enough to let out a disgusted scoff in return, which made it even harder for you to act like an adult.
“What’s wrong, babe?” you finally ask her.
“Dada play,” she murmurs, hoping you’d do something about his refusal to play “dolls” with her. Honestly, if they were normal barbie dolls, he’d probably plop down beside her right now and happily pretend that his doll was her doll’s severely underpaid and abused servant. But he won’t because you refuse to get her normal shit.
“But Dada said no,” you politely break the news to her.
“Dada bad.”
He’s rolling his eyes now and you can’t help but feel bad for him. He probably just wants to lay down right now, but he has to listen to his daughter call him an asshole.
“Dada’s not bad, he’s just tired,” you try to explain to her.
“Mad?” she asks, finally acknowledging this morning and afternoon's temper.
“Mhm,” you nod, “his heart hurts right now, you should give him a hug.” He scoffs again.
“A booboo?”
“Exactly— go give him a hug.”
That’s all she needed to get her butt up and make her way over to him, holding her arms out wide to give him a hug. She bursts out squealing and laughing though when he picks her up instead and walks over to the couch to sit. It obviously wasn’t going to take away his exhaustion, but it did make him feel a little better.
“Booboo?” she points at his chest.
“Close,” he hums and taps on his temple, “gotta headache.”
“Aww,” she responds, you two aren’t sure if she actually means it since she smiled. But you guess she actually did when she handed him her beloved labubu that he was not aware was in her hand this whole entire time.
He thanked her, remembering his manners and all, but still waited until you both were looking away to toss it behind the couch. She’s got enough of those demon dolls to not notice if one was missing.
“Soooo,” you hum, picking some toys off the ground, “I’m guessing there’s still not much on who took all those pictures?”
“Nope,” he murmurs in defeat. “They were sent in anonymously too.”
“What about the exposé and pictures?”
They were a completely different story. The publishing company would much rather pay him than take it down from how much revenue they’re making from all the website visits they've gotten. And who knows how many people have saved the piece and the photos at this point, it’s not like he could go after all the people that’ve saved and reposted the photos.
“...so that's it?” you flatly ask. “The whole world just thinks you're some asshole that’s embarrassed of your kid?”
Yes. Not that he cared. The only opinions that really mattered were yours and Sayomi’s when it came to his role as a father. The only one who really cares about the false narrative is you, which he appreciates. You wanted everyone to see how good he was to her, you wanted them to see how big of a smile he’s able to leave on her face. He gets it, he’d feel the same if the roles were reversed, so he doesn’t try to talk you out of your frustration.
“They offered to interview me,” he says, letting Yomi down so she could go back to playing, “both of us actually, to try to clear everything up— offered a shit ton of money too.”
It was sleezy— publishing a whole exposé, and instead of taking it down, they offered to interview him instead since they’d also be getting the first scoop. You were always going to say no, but you didn’t expect him to turn it down the moment they offered it to him. It was never about the money for him, it was the principle. All he wanted was to get both your faces off that article.
“I’m sorry,” he says, voice growing raspier. “I’m having a friend look into who took all those photos though. We can’t get them off the internet, but we can still sue the shit out of them for distress.”
“I should get my doctor to prescribe me antidepressants,” you mumble, pulling a chuckle out of the man before his face went back to being flat and lifeless again. “How much did you sleep last night?”
He takes a deep breath while trying to remember, but eventually gives up with a shrug. “Who knows.” It wasn’t much, that’s for sure.
“Our flight’s not for another 5 hours, you should try to take a nap.”
“Can’t,” he grumbles, getting up from the couch, “I haven’t even packed all my shit yet.”
“Let me do it,” you offer.
“It’s fine, I g—“
“I don’t care,” you wave a hand, clearly not interested in debating over his sleep. Usually he’d have more of a reaction— not today. The mental exhaustion of it all chipped away at his brain and his will argue. “Yomi’s supposed to take a nap anyways, just make her a bottle and sleep on the pull-out couch so I don’t wake you two up while getting everything packed.”
“You sure?”
You don’t even know why he asks. The glimmer of hope in his eyes after realizing he really could finally rest was too hard to miss.
“Yes,” you smile, getting up from the ground. “I’m sure she’d be happy to take a nap with you too.”
“Doubt it,” he grumbles, running a hand through his hair. “Watch her get all pouty until I put Mit Raetuhl on my phone.”
You laugh at his mispronunciation of Ms. Rachel as you try to walk past him. He looks like he’s melting into the couch, laying back in a typical manspread with his head thrown back. Yet he still manages to grab your arm before you can get too far from him.
“C’mere,” he says, lazily tugging you toward him.
“What?”
“Just come here,” he murmurs, continuing to tug at you. He sees you glancing at Yomi, who’s back in her own little world right now, and snickers before tugging you towards him enough to wrap his other hand around the back of your neck. “Didn’t even let me get to thank you.”
“You can thank me by going to sleep,” you say in a low tone, nearly holding your breath because you feel like you’re about to fall on him.
“You’re getting two thank you’s then,” he hums, finally pulling you all the way down and kissing you— deeply. It’s slow and he swipes his tongue over yours from the beginning. You should have expected it with the way he was looking at you, but you let it happen because he looked like he was about to die anyway.
Then your child finally notices how silent it’s been, turns around, and does this weird pterodactyl screech because she fucking hates when he so much as so gives you a peck on the cheek, so her doll goes flying at her dad. He put on Ms. Rachel immediately after and fell asleep the moment he laid down, letting Yomi watch on his phone beside him.
You really didn’t mind either, you were just in the other room. She was safe. The mattress was low to the ground, her dad wasn’t one to toss and turn in bed either.
It didn’t stop you from checking in on them and taking photos. Sukuna was already knocked out when you took the first one, with Yomi leaned over him, propping his phone on his chest. She was still awake for the second one, but was actually laying normally while Sukuna had an arm slung over her, still watching her show. And by the third, she was passed out, laying on top of him like a literal starfish, completely forgetting about how pissed she was at him.
—
Life somewhat calmed down as the days progressed.
Traveling wasn’t too bad since you waited for your flight in a private lounge and boarded the plane first, but Sukuna naturally found a way to stay stressed throughout the trip by using up all of his Wi-Fi on the plane. It was a constant cycle of him checking his phone, then getting pissed that nobody has gotten back to him yet.
He didn’t talk, which was great, but you still avoided him. Just seeing how stressed he was made you feel the same.
The hotel situation changed a little as well since he asked for extra security. Luckily it wasn’t too noticeable, just a few more outside of the building, along with one that kept their eyes on the floor of the suite you were staying in.
The controversy surrounding the news and leaked photos had gotten a little better. Not because it died down, but because Sukuna had gotten some time to get used to it and you stopped checking all the comments on certain media sites and pages. The team's management wasn’t the most useful, mainly because there was nothing much they could do about the photos, so they decided to make up for it by being as supportive as they could.
Which meant giving Sukuna a raise. The last thing anyone wanted was for him to retire early, and simply saying “this isn’t worth it” over the phone was enough to make them go into overdrive with the damage control. They were aware he was having a bad day, but the chances of him following through with it was a little higher compared to the other players. He didn’t care about drastic life changes, that much was clear when he put most of his partying to a halt after finding out he had a kid. To top it off, not once has anyone heard him complain about it.
They also matched how much money you’d be losing from taking time off work for the rest of the trip. There was no way in hell Sukuna was going to let some stranger watch his child, it didn’t matter if you were in another room. You were against it at first, knowing all the nannies had background checks. Then you realized that if you were to take Sayomi back home and return to your normal life, you’d most likely be on edge since he wouldn’t be just a few minutes away. You probably would’ve been okay, but probably just wasn’t good enough at the moment, especially when you never knew someone stalked you and took photos for weeks without knowing in the first place.
Taking time off ended up working out just fine anyways. The assistant you hired to help with some of your clients is teaming up with an agency to manage your client list. She also seems to be trustworthy with all of the info she’s given you about them in private. If she keeps this up you might just be begging her to stay with you if she ever tried to leave.
Sayomi seems to be happier with not spending time with a stranger for half the day anyways. Not that she was miserable, but you’d rather her be all rainbows and sunshine for most of the day, rather than whatever the hell she was with the last nanny. Side-eyeing the poor woman whenever she spoke— hurts your feelings just thinking about it.
With tomorrow's game and conference, everything should start to settle. At least he hopes. He’s a little more on the optimistic side today, probably because his coach and manager decided it’d be more beneficial for him to take a little more time off and surprised him with a half day. They figured he’d use the time to relax and hang out with his family, which is exactly what he was planning to do.
All that went through his mind on the way back to the hotel was a hot shower, room service, and a good movie that was appropriate enough for Yomi to watch. He wasn’t doing the whole tea party with demon dolls thing tonight— he couldn’t. This was his day and since Yomi’s too young to get that, he’ll just make it seem like all the fun was for her.
Walking into the room, he just assumes he’ll be met with something wholesome, like you and his child curled up in bed and taking a midday nap, because why else would it be so quiet right now? But Sayomi’s asleep, in her actual room— obviously. He wouldn’t be witnessing the scene that’s in front of him if you weren’t alone.
He’s sending his manager and coach a gift basket for this one day.
Nothing about the building is thin, or creaky. It’s strong, sturdy, will probably not need to be remodeled within the next 50 years, and filled with elements that absorb sound. Now that he thinks about it, he didn’t hear his own footsteps when walking here, the door didn’t creak when opening it. It wasn’t until actually stepping into the room that he began to hear the soft vibrations paired with the slutty little sounds that were escaping your lips.
Of course you would, you have needs, he’s not a fucking idiot. He sure feels like one though because how did the thought of you fucking yourself not cross his mind before or after you began traveling together?
And of course you wouldn’t notice him, you were too absorbed in what you were doing. You looked like you were having fun. Leaned back against the headboard. Knees up and legs spread. Eyes on the vibrator in your hand, because you used to enjoy watching yourself get fucked by him in the past, so of course you’d enjoy watching yourself get fucked by your own damn self too.
Greedy. Messy as hell, yet still so pretty. This is fucking insane. He’s… stunned. His heart pounds a little faster every time you make a sound because he really shouldn’t be here, but he can’t move. He doesn’t want to.
“Fuck.”
Then you look up. And scream. Because he didn’t say that in his head, even though he thought he did. He’s an idiot and now you’re covering yourself. You’re also yelling at him and there’s no way for him to tell you that you should stop because it’s turning him on right now. You’ll probably just yell at him even more.
“What the fuck are you doing here?!”
He doesn’t know how to answer that, he’s still stuck on what was happening a minute ago. He’s also a little dumbfounded by the question. But he finally picks his jaw off the fucking floor to answer your question. “This is my room too,” he says, not even trying to be rude.
“No, what are you doing here?!” you continue to yell at him. “You weren’t supposed to be back until five.”
“Oh— they uh— let me off. Early. Forgot to text you,” he says, still standing there like an idiot. “My bad.”
You let out a long, disappointed sigh. Too busy hoping your heart rate would start to settle from the initial scare that you don’t realize there's a grin steadily growing on the man’s face. But then he opens his fucking mouth, again.
“So have you just been… waiting? To have some alone time to do this?” he says, clearly amused by this all.
“Oh my god— stop,” you grimace, rubbing your temple..
“I’m just asking a question,” he snorts, leaning against the wall, probably thinking of a hundred more questions lined up for you. “Do you bring that thing with you whenever you shower?”
Your face scrunches up in disgust. “Why do you care?”
“I can’t be curious?”
“No, it’s weird,” you scoff.
“So defensive,” he chuckles and begins to walk over to you, making your stomach drop and hands grip the blanket covering the lower half of your body. As if it couldn’t get any worse, he picks up your vibrator that you didn’t even realize you dropped earlier and turns it on with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
Your eyes grow wide with a mixture of shock and embarrassment, trying to grab it back from him, but the blanket didn’t leave you much range to reach it. Not like you had much of a chance anyways, he reeled his hand back the first time you tried. “What is wrong with you?! Turn that off!”
“Damn,” he mutters to himself as he inspects it, completely ignoring your more than reasonable reaction.
“Can you stop fucking smelling it?!” you nearly hiss.
“Smells good though,” he teasingly responds.
Everything would’ve been fine had he just left, but your soul just about shrivels up and dies at this point from how much worse he’s making everything. He eventually stops and turns the damn thing off, only because you looked like you were going to die and he couldn’t have that happen just yet.
“Bet you didn’t even get to finish because of me,” he says, as if he actually felt bad for you.
“You’re such a fucking asshole,” you sigh with your head in your hands.
“I know,” he hums back rather fondly, sitting down in front of you. “I could make it up to you if you pulled the blanket off.”
You let out a dry laugh, “you’re so annoying.”
“Yeah,” he easily agrees with you. “Can’t even play with yourself because I’m always doing stupid shit like coming home early.”
You can tell he’s fighting for his life trying to stay serious right now from the way his mouth twitched a couple times, lightly clearing his throat after. His eyes aren’t even on yours anymore, his attention’s directed at the blanket. It might as well be the biggest obstacle he has in life at the moment. It’s not until he reaches forward and lightly pinches the blanket when he finally looks at you, looking past your warning that’s in the form of a glare.
“Blanket’s soft,” he randomly comments, lifting it up a few inches, grazing your leg in the process. Then the little shit sticks his hand under it to rub your knee. “Legs are soft too— you get a new lotion or something?”
You’ve never met anyone that’s tried their luck as much as him.
“No,” you boredly respond, “they're probably dry right now from the weather.”
“That’s not good,” he shakes his head, acting offended for you. “...It’s probably this blanket— absorbing all the moisture from your legs or something.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” you say, suppressing a laugh.
“Get rid of it anyways,” he chuckles. “I’m running out of ideas here.”
“Good, you weren’t slick to begin with.”
“Wasn’t trying to be,” he hums, completely unbothered, still lazily rubbing circles into your leg under the blanket. “I just wanted to get you to laugh, it worked too.”
“I can’t stand you.” You don’t even know why you said it, you sound as serious as him at this point. Not to mention he’s probably getting off on the insults.
“Lay down then,” he persists, clearly enjoying how stupid this exchange is.
It was working anyway. Not just the jokes, but from the way he continued to creep closer— your inner thigh now being where his hand rested. There’s no need to look under the blanket to guess how wet you already were, he could feel the heat radiating off of you.
“C’mon,” he murmurs. “Do I suck at eating pussy or something?”
“It’s not that,” you start, but don’t even complete the sentence.
“So you’re being stubborn… just to be stubborn?” he smirks, already knowing that’s exactly what it was.
“It’s not that either,” you shrink down a little, unsure of what else to say because he unfortunately clocked your shit.
“Alright then— since I interrupted you, here’s what I’m gonna do,” he begins to tug at the blanket, “I’m gonna pull this off and put my head in between your thighs, and if you tell me to stop, then I’ll stop.”
He waits to see if you’ll even say something, but after some time of having a little stare off, he doesn’t hesitate to follow through with it. The blanket was off before you could even blink and the little squeal you let out from how abrupt it was made his dick jump. He pretty much pounced on you, grabbing you by the backs of your knees and holding them up so he get face to face your pussy
“Fuckin’ hell,” he curses to himself, throwing your legs over his shoulder, “can’t believe you get this soaked from watching me beg— that’s one fucked up kink, sweetheart.”
“Not a kink,” you murmur, leaning back and propping yourself up on your elbows. “Didn’t make you beg either.”
“Maybe not, but it fuckin’ felt like it,” he mumbles, swiping his thumb through your folds and bringing it up to you. He didn’t have to tell you to open your mouth, and definitely didn’t have to tell you to swirl your tongue around it or lightly suck when he pressed down on your tongue. “Always been so good with this mouth— you ever miss having my cock in it?”
You hum and nod slowly.
“Yeah? Gonna make me beg for that too?”
You shake your head.
“Liar,” he chuckles, pulling his thumb out of your mouth with a pop before putting his attention back on your dripping folds. “So fuckin’ evil for that.”
You try to talk back, but the words get stuck in your throat when he presses a kiss on your inner thigh. And then hums into another one that was just inches away from where you actually needed him— clearly not in a rush. You shouldn’t even be surprised, he always finds a way to get back at others.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, barely scolding you. "You say you can’t stand me but then you go dumb the second my mouth gets near your pussy.”
“Yeah because you do shit like tease me,” you argue back, but it comes out as a needy whine.
“Don’t act like you didn’t deserve it,” he chuckles, then leans in again. Except this time he finally gives you what you want— pressing his tongue flat against your entrance and licking one long and painfully slow stripe through your folds, then looks back up to see your reaction. “Did that feel good?”
“Yeah,” you breathe out.
He dips his head back down and drags his tongue through you again, slower this time, softly groaning into it. He flicks his tongue off your clit, then does it all over again a few more times, enjoying the way he can feel your body tense underneath him.
“Am I still annoying?” he asks.
“No.”
“That’s what I thought.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he’s back on you, wiping away whatever thought you had in your mind with the languid strokes of his tongue— flattening it against your clit and swiping up with the perfect amount of pressure. It’s not rushed, doesn’t feel like he has a goal in mind either. He just plays with you, lapping away at you for fun. Yet he still somehow leaves you out of breath and struggling to keep your legs open.
“You alright?” he murmurs.
You barely nod and he just laughs. “Use your words, princess.”
“Yeah,” you breathe, barely coherent. “Keep going.”
“Of course,” he says, all while slipping not one, but two of his fingers inside of you. It pulls a gasp out of you and he acts just as shocked as you, because he’s a fucking asshole. “See what happens when you stop being a stubborn brat?”
You all but nod when his mouth goes back to your clit, lightly sucking at it while curling his fingers right into your sweet spot.
“Be honest with me, baby,” he says, just barely grabbing your attention. “What were you thinking about when you were fuckin’ yourself earlier?”
“You,” you say without hesitation.
“Fuck,” he groans, clearly loving the answer, curling his fingers faster as a reward. “What else were you thinking about it?”
“Fucking you,” you whisper.
“Look at you being all sweet and answering my questions,” he says mockingly, pulling his fingers out as fast as he pushed them in. “Want my cock instead?”
“Mhm.”
“Yeah? Want it right now?”
You hesitate for a moment, really thinking about it. “You’re so big though.”
“Don’t tell me you're scared of it now all of a sudden,” he says in amusement, pressing a kiss on your inner thigh before sitting back to take his shirt off, revealing the inked lines and his chiseled chest.
“No, you’re just mean with it— stop smiling, I'm being serious,” you scoff. "I don't feel like doing that tonight.”
“I can be nice,” he says, taking his boxers off to reveal how fucking hard he is already, leaking precum and throbbing if you look hard enough. He sits down beside you and grabs you by the waist. “C’mere, I’ll take care of you if you get tired.”
He slowly strokes himself as you move to straddle him, staying up a little to let him run his head through your folds. Your breath sharpens when it grazes over your clit, so he does it again and again until you're complaining, then he finally pushes you down just enough to get the tip in, letting you do the rest.
His thumb moves to rub little circles around your clit as you begin easing yourself down, making it easier to work yourself open with how thick he was, pulling yourself up after each inch you went down, slowly working up to a pace.
“That’s it— let me see you fuck yourself,” he groans, gripping your waist a little tighter, steadying you more than guiding you. “You missed this, didn’t you?”
“I did,” you say, almost breathless as you bottom out, earning a low hum out of him.
“I bet.” He begins to move a little on his own, deepening it, hitting a spot that makes your eyes glaze over a little more. “Better than that little vibrator of yours, huh?”
“Fuck— yeah,” you moan, placing your hands on his chest to steady yourself.
“So stubborn for no reason,” he lazily smirks, grinding your hips down against him. “Just wanted you to feel good— shouldn’t have to hide to cum.”
“Think you just don’t want me to unless it’s with you.”
“I love seeing it,” he murmurs, proudly admitting it. “Watching you cum so hard your legs get all shaky, cryin’ because of me— fuckin’ sexy.”
His hands slide up your back, leaning you forward so he could take over, and you let him. You kiss him and he takes over that too. It’s messy and all tongue, groaning into your mouth, lightly biting your lip when he pulls you away. Your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head when his lips trail down lower, starting from your jaw and working his way down to your chest, all while snapping his hips up harder, going faster.
His mouth latches on to a nipple and you nearly squeal from how fucking good it feels, flicking and swirling his tongue around it. It gets to a point where you’re just a mess, locked in his arms, unable to escape his tongue and deep thrusts.
Then he moves his thumb back to your clit and you fucking lose it.
He grins after pulling his mouth off of you with a pop and then shushes you. “You’re gonna wake her up if you keep screaming like a little slut— you don’t want me to stop, right?”
“No— no, please,” you whine, doing your best to hold it in.
“Then shut up,” he laughs, and you genuinely want to cry because he just fucks you even faster afterwards. You’re left whimpering into the crook of his neck, fighting the urge to bite down while taking every inch he gives you, yet your only complaint is the fact that you’re out of breath.
It’s worth it.
He never lets up, grabbing your ass and rolling your hips down to meet each and every thrust, hitting the spot that makes you weak until you start to feel the pressure start to build up inside of you. You tighten around him and he cracks for once, letting out a moan that’s a little breathier, sounding needier for once.
“Fuck— you’re gonna cum, aren’t you?” He feels you nodding against him in response and changes the pace, his thrusts becoming strokes, making you feel every inch and vein he drags through you. “Did so good for me— that’s it baby, go ahead and cum for me.”
The rest of his words go in one ear and out the other, feeling something inside of you break while he continued to work it out of you. It was overwhelming. Messy. The only thing you could hear after coming to your senses were the wet squelches and the downright sinful moans that came out of Sukuna whenever he was close.
“Want me to pull out?” he breathes, just barely remembering to ask.
“No, s’okay,” you murmur back, barely coherent, limp against him.
He thought he had a little more time, but came right then and there, just barely controlling the long, drawn on moan that left him while pumping you full of his cum. Holding your hips down against him, burying himself as deep he could inside of you as if he was trying to get it to take.
He wasn’t as rough as he’d been in the past, yet you both felt just as worn out, if not more. Not even the stickiness between you bothered you. Minutes of silence passed by, not awkward, just too tired to move. But after some time, he takes a deep breath and gently runs his hand up and down your back.
“You awake?” he asks, voice raspier than usual.
“Barely,” you murmur against his skin.
“I swear I wasn’t trying to get you to pass out this time,” he warmly says, stifling a laugh. “I didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”
“No.” A little smile creeps up on you. “I’m surprised you’re even asking.”
“Just making sure— wanted you to enjoy yourself this time,” he says, resting his head against yours. “You should be grateful.”
“How thoughtful,” you mutter. “But no, I did enjoy myself.”
“Good,” he hums, clearly pleased with himself.
“We should probably get cleaned up though,” you say, clearly a little sad about it. “Yomi’s probably gonna wake up soon.”
“Cockblock— ow fuck,” he hisses, rubbing the spot on his shoulder that you just pinched. “I was fuckin’ kidding.”
“Sure you were,” you mutter back.
He continues, “Before you pinched the fuck out of me, I was gonna say you should get some sleep in and I’ll just keep my eye on the baby monitor.”
“I shouldn’t,” you groan a little, torn from trying to be somewhat responsible. “It’s almost 3, I don’t wanna accidently sleep the entire time she’s up.”
“I’ll wake you up if you sleep too long then,” he says, like it’s a no brainer. “Just get some rest, you look like you’re about to pass out any minute now anyways.”
“Ok, fine,” you grumble. “Go shower before she wakes up though.”
“I know,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss on your temple before getting up.
You notice him looking around for a bit— almost pathetically. You tried to give him the chance, but time was ticking, so you finally spoke up. “The baby monitors on the nightstand behind me.”
“You couldn’t say that earlier?” he grumbles, already annoyed at how long it was taking to find in the first place.
“I had a little more hope in you.”
“Go to sleep,” he groans, snatching up the little screen and walking straight towards the bathroom to take the world's quickest shower, since his child acts like she’s been abandoned and cries hysterically if one of you takes too long to grab her.
It was a good idea. By the time he stepped out, she was already up and looking all around the room, violently fighting the urge to cry. He just barely got out and threw on his sweats in time before she really got mad.
Maybe he could’ve gotten to her even sooner had he not taken a moment to look at you, but it’s not often he gets to see you as blissfully knocked out as you were. Sprawled across the mattress, lightly snoring into the pillow. He was definitely going to have to wake you up later.
—
“How many more minutes left do we have?” Sukuna asks into the mic, hoping a hundred reporters won’t jump to answer all at once. But they don’t, they’ve surprisingly been on their best behavior. Must’ve gotten a warning or something before entering.
“About 15 minutes,” one of the managers on the sides answered for him instead.
“Should I just…?” He finishes the question off by pointing to the back room, throwing off the reporters.
“Yeah, I think now's good.”
“Alright,” he stands up from his seat and turns to walk away, but then turns back and leans down to the mic, deciding he should warn the reporters real quick. “I know we’ve all been talking normally the past forty-five minutes, but I need you all to keep it that way when I get back. No shouting. No acting overly excited. If it happens even once, I’m leaving.”
He doesn’t wait for a response or a nod before stepping away, it’s not like he was asking anyways, he was telling them. One of the reporters gave his teammate a confused look, but all he did was shrug and feign ignorance, even though the entire team was aware of what was going on. The entire room steadily grew quiet while waiting for the rugby player to get back. The only thing that cut that silence was hearing random babbling along with someone that sounded like a calm version of Sukuna pretending to understand the kid.
Talkative for sure. At least up until Sukuna came back into view with the kid in his arms, who went radio silent after seeing everyone. To his luck, there was no yelling or unnecessary squealing, just a soft wave of awes that actually made him smile in public for once. He moved his mic closer to the edge of the table and sat down. He usually leans forward with his elbows on the table during conferences, but this time moved the chair a little further away and leaned back in his seat so his daughter had room to move around.
“So uh–” he starts, briefly looking at Sayomi who does not look like she wants to be there. “I’m sure you all saw the news that’s been going around, so we decided it’d be best to answer any questions you all had here since I don’t have much time to do extra interviews to begin with. The questions are obviously gonna be personal, but don’t go too crazy with ‘em.”
He looks to the PR manager that flew out here specifically for this conference, waiting for some sort of direction, genuinely feeling a little nervous himself. The manager caught that and took over the room for a moment.
“Also, please don’t jump to ask your questions in hopes to get answered first. His daughter isn’t used to crowds, so we’d like to keep the environment as calm as we can for her,” they add, knowing that it already annoys Sukuna in general. “Alright, now you can introduce her.”
“Cool,” he mutters and looks at Sayomi again, who’s just staring everyone down with straight up judgement in her eyes, but looks back at him when he starts talking. “Well this is my daughter Sayomi. She turned one a few months ago and gets to travel with me all season. M’not sure what else to say— wanna say hi to everybody?”
He moves the mic closer to her and to his surprise, she answers right away.
“No.”
Clear and concise. There’s a soft wave of laughter coming from the crowd and some of his teammates who are already aware of what she’s like.
“Okay,” he smiles. “Just gonna sit here and hang out?”
“Ya.”
“Sounds good,” he says, looking back up. “Alright, guy in the blue polo, you look like you’re dying to ask a question. Let’s start with you.”
“Oh– thank you,” he gets up immediately, eager to ask the question everyone’s been dying to ask. “Since you mentioned having your daughter with you all season and you were already traveling when the article came out, what do you have to say about the article itself and the picture it tried to paint about your private life?”
“I think the person who wrote it needs to start using their brain,” he boredly says. “They tried to make it a big deal by making it seem like I was hiding her and didn’t want anyone finding out, but a lot of those photos are of us being out in public. You wouldn’t see me bringing her to restaurants or taking her to an ice cream shop if it was like that.”
As expected, the first question opened the door for a wide range of questions.
“If I may ask, what was the mother of your child's reaction to the exposé?”
“Violated— she enjoys her privacy, so waking up and seeing her and her child's face all over the internet was probably her worst nightmare. They made it look like she was just a one night stand too, I’ve known her for a while now.”
“How would you say your life changed after becoming a father?”
“Guess I don’t go out and party as much anymore. All of my free time goes to her now too, but it’s been fun.”
“What’s been your favorite memory with her within the last six months?”
“When we took her to get her ears pierced,” he chuckles, noticing the reporter look confused because Sayomi’s ears clearly weren’t. “I decided to get mine pierced that day too, and seeing me get them was enough for her— she didn’t like seeing that at all and just had a meltdown. Her mother had to sit in the backseat with her on the way home and enjoyed the attention so much that she dragged it out and started fake crying.”
“What’s your relationship like with her mother? Will we be seeing her at any of your games?”
“I don’t know. She likes staying out of the public eye, so she’s more comfortable watching from the private rooms. But it’s good, we get along.”
“How did you meet her?”
“Work trip, we ended up being on the same flight afterwards too.”
The questions started moving more towards you, and thankfully the conference ended right after that last one. You were fine with him bringing Yomi to the conference, with your only request being to not give too many details about her, and it would’ve gotten more difficult from there.
From start to finish Yomi looked miserable, he could only imagine how long those fifteen minutes felt for her. It wasn’t until he walked back into the private room you were waiting for them in when she finally looked happy again, throwing her arms out so you’d pick her up.
“Did you have fun with your dad?” you ask excitedly, taking her in your arms.
“Ya!”
A snitch and a liar. He shakes his head and goes to grab one of the croissants on the table. It was dry, but enough to hold him over. Game days were the worst for him, having to stay for over an extra hour is what really throws his hunger over the edge.
At least this time around you remembered that and ordered room service ahead of time. The staff had brought it up right when he took his shoes off at home. Yomi didn’t even bother asking him for some because she was already falling asleep, deliriously waving goodbye to him when you told her to before putting her down for her nap. She went down easily, he was only halfway through his food when he heard the door to her room open and shut.
“That was fast,” he comments, popping a cube of beef in his mouth. He has no idea what the dish is called, but he needs to find out before you leave or else he’ll spend the rest of his life mad that he didn’t.
You ordered yourself something too, a dish you had no idea what was called, but ordered because it looked good. “Being around all those people probably drained her,” you say, sliding into the seat next to him.
“She didn’t even do anything.”
“You said she looked like she didn’t want to be there. Hating your life drains you pretty fast.”
Ironic how there was a whole article that made it seem like he tried to hide her from the world, only for her to show the world how much she hated being around everyone. She was so cute up there with him though. You couldn’t stop laughing at all the faces she made while watching the playback during the car ride to the hotel. Sukuna ended up doing the same while waiting for you to finish your food.
“Everyone’s going out again tonight to celebrate the win,” he says, watching you take your last bite of food.
You finish chewing before responding to him, almost considering if you should chew slower because he looked like he wanted something. “Are you going this time?” It’s not like you could go out anymore with the decision to not have a nanny around.
He shakes his head. “Feels weird leaving you two like that.”
“Even with the extra security?” you tilt your head and ask.
“Yeah. At least not until Uraume figures out who took all those pictures.” He leans back and sips his water. “Having someone take pictures in Australia just makes me think it’s some serious stalker.”
Just the thought makes your stomach drop. “Do you think they followed us here?”
“I don’t know. I feel like it’d be easy since you can just search where all our future games would be at.”
Your stomach drops even more. “Could we move to hotels in different cities?”
“If you want, yeah,” he shrugs. “They’d probably be able to find it though if they really wanted. That’s why I asked for extra security instead.”
“I see,” you murmur, picking at your food with a fork.
“Uraume should find them soon though,” he reassures you. “But for now you two are kind of stuck with me.”
“Like we weren’t already before?”
“It’s gonna be so much worse now,” he says, making it sound like it’s just you who should be worried.
“Yeah? Do I need to start hiding from you whenever Yomi’s asleep?”
“You know you can’t hide from me, sweetheart,” he reminds you, it feels like an actual threat this time. “I’d probably like it if you tried to run though.”