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It’s sad to think the older we get the number of people we know dying is going to increase

Dingle Peninsula, County Kerry, Ireland

via boyhistory

Been really thinking about my personal growth lately and how it feels being in a city you’ve lived so much of your life in. I’ve always had an itch to move somewhere, mostly Cali, and experience living there for a little while. I always thought I’d move out there after graduating but plans changed. That itch kinda went away the more grounded I became here. Meeting great friends, finding a job, staying close to family, etc. But lately, I’ve been feeling a little trapped. I feel like I’ve really outgrown my city and want to chase a new experience. I know most of this is wishful thinking and I still have my vacation goggles on but when else do you have this chance to do this kind of thing. Raleigh will always be my home and will always be here for when I come back. But for right now, the west is calling.

I’ve also realized with the pandemic, I want to go out a really do the things I want to do. If not when? I also realized that all my hobbies include being outdoors. Which would be perfect for LA weather! Roller skating, hiking, beach, going to sports games, eating foods, being happy with nice weather. The more I think and talk about it the more I want it.

Am I okay with leaving my friends behind for a few years? Will I miss them? Sure. But thinking about how much I will grow as a person excites me. I’m ready for a change even if it means pressing pause on all the adult things I have planned for myself. Now comes convincing my boyfriend, whose half way there.

Although, I’ve recently decided to try to read more books. Just purchased the book Crying in H Mart. I feel like I need to know more about my history and where I came from. Get in tune with my Korean side. And really learn about Korean American history. It’s weird, I never really felt my place here or in Korea. Just asian American things I suppose.