BAD BUDDY EPISODE 5 – PRAN, PRAN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? MILLIONS OF SOULS ARE (STILL) STRANDED IN SHARDS ON A RANDOM BANGKOK ROOFTOP BECAUSE OF YOU
One question that always bothered me after Ep.5’s Epic Rooftop Kiss was – why did Pran break away sobbing and distance himself so drastically? After all, Pat was returning his feelings, and Pran reciprocated with a passionate kiss. So if both had already made their feelings known, the next logical step would have been couplehood, and wasn’t that what Pran wanted?
Upon re-watching, there are some clues that help explain Pran’s behaviour. We know that he grew up in a very protected, loving environment, behind defensive walls both physical and figurative. But when Pran’s mom found out he and Pat had been collaborating on the Christmas song contest in high school (Ep.2 [4/4] 7.25), she transferred him away to boarding school, ejecting him abruptly from the tranquillity of home.
That transfer had a significant impact on Pran. The Christmas songwriting process, friendly and without tension, had seen him opening up innocently to Pat (Ep.5 [3I4] 0.27).
Letting his guard down, Pran took the opportunity to express his secret feelings in the lyrics of the song (Ep.5 [3I4] 1.41). But when he was sent away, the lesson he learnt was to associate Pat’s proximity with heartbreak and anguish – this is why he states (twice): “Things don’t end well whenever I’m close to you” (at Ep.1 [4/4] 3.28 and Ep.2 [3I4] 9.03).
Having also learnt from his home life to mount defenses against dangers outside – Pran went on to erect even more barriers of his own. His way of dealing with emotions was to deny them externally and cloister himself within a seemingly perfect life, polished by his perfectionist tendencies. Within his walls, Pran only hinted at his feelings to the outside world, flagging his thoughts, emotions and states of mind using signs and symbols, like his smiley/frowny doorhanger (Ep.1 [4/4] 12.55) and sticky notes (Ep.1 [4/4] 11.37).
And just as he never let his emotions out – he never let anyone in, even though Pat’s kiss on the rooftop was clearly a knock on his door, begging for access.
Perhaps one of the strongest reasons for Pran’s refusal to accept Pat’s rooftop entreaty at face value was Pat’s self-declared romantic interest in Ink. Before realizing his love for Pran, Pat himself confessed that he liked Ink at Ep.4 [4/4] 14.48. And this was further reinforced by Pran directly witnessing Ink and Pat together, one-on-one, so many times (e.g., Ep.4 [3I4] 2.51, Ep.4 [3I4] 5.09, Ep.5 [1I4] 8.56, Ep.5 [2/4] 9.46).
Most importantly, the lesson Pran learnt from the Christmas song heartbreak – that he gets his feelings crushed whenever he gets close to Pat – was repeated in two other incidents, both involving Ink and Pat (and iced milk tea).
The first was in high school, when – giving in to his blossoming romantic feelings – Pran bought Pat iced milk tea (his favorite drink, confirmed at Ep.12 [4/4] 14.12) hoping to break the ice even more.
But his hopes were dashed when he saw Pat and Ink flirting affectionately instead at Ep.4 [2/4] 1.09, before he could even pass him the gift.
The second was the scene beginning at Ep.4 [1I4] 15.44 – touched by the loan of Pat’s own earphones, Pran sent him a little text message. Ostensibly a reminder, it was really more like a casual hello that you send to open up further communication. Pran was once again tentatively reaching out – but then Pat suddenly rushed out (having probably seen a message Ink had sent).
When Pran went to look for him – he saw Ink buying Pat’s favorite beverage for him at a café (Ep.4 [1I4] 16.56). As if that weren’t enough, Pat then twisted the dagger by quipping that his day, like his tea, was still sweet (despite Ink getting him the low-sugar option) – as though both had been sweetened by Ink’s presence.
The Christmas song lesson, hammered home twice, heavily imprinted on Pran that he would have no chance of coming between Ink and Pat – both times that he opened up to Pat, he got slapped with the message of their pairing, as clear a sign as any that getting closer to Pat would only end in heartbreak. And we KNOW how much store Pran sets by signs and symbols. 😢
Pran then goes on to acknowledge he understood this lesson in the clearest way possible. We know this because it came directly from his innermost self, expressed in authentic Pran-speak – in a sketch that he drew.
One of the ways Pran processes his thoughts and feelings is to sketch out representations of them and caption them. We see him doodling an angry face at Ep.3 [1I4] 1.12, expressing his frustration (probably from his bickering with Pat at Ep.2 [4/4] 12.54 😂). And in response to Pat’s gift of dumplings (at Ep.2 [1I4] 12.58, defined as an act of courtship at Ep.2 [2/4] 0.18) – Pran had sketched out and captioned at Ep.5 [1I4] 4.43: “I don’t know how to flirt. Can I give you dumplings instead?”. (This has significance for events later in Ep.6 – but more on that in another post. 😊)
So the next time we see Pran sketching out his feelings, we know we must believe him – and he does this in the scene beginning at Ep.5 [2/4] 8.41. After bunking over, having forgotten his keys yet AGAIN (perhaps in response to subconscious impulses), Pat had noticed that the condensed milk Pran is fond of squeezing on his morning toast (Ep.5 [1I4] 1.36) had run out. (It is condensed milk – confirmed by Nanon behind the scenes in the DVD Boxset. 😊) So he leaves Pran a little smiley-faced sticky note (just the sort of signalized communication that speaks to Pran’s heart) promising to get him a new tube – which he does, at Ep.5 [4/4] 5.56. Pat’s thoughtfulness moves Pran so much he is compelled to sketch the squeeze tube and Pat’s note with an oversized smiley (Ep.5 [4/4] 9.41), hopeful perhaps that this little gesture could be Pat telling him, in a way that speaks to him intimately, how all the affectionate playfulness of the previous days and weeks might be heading towards an actual romance.
And then Pran informs us in no uncertain terms that he sees this as impossible, wishful thinking, when he vehemently crosses out his sketch at Ep.5 [4/4] 9.58, after recalling how he saw Ink and Pat sharing a private (and apparently romantic) moment at the dessert café earlier (Ep.5 [2/4] 9.46).
But if Pat had kissed Pran so passionately on the rooftop, wasn’t that a clear enough indication that he had chosen Pran over Ink? Well, not from Pran’s POV, because unfortunately Pat had not always been consistent in his messaging. Pran is an expert reader of signs and symbols, and he could tell that Pat’s affectionate behaviour towards him was quite possibly a sign of romantic feelings, even while Pat himself – never self-aware, needing younger sister Pa as his emotional compass (Ep.5 [2/4] 1.34) – still thought the butterflies he sensed (Ep.5 [2/4] 0.31) were caused by Ink and was actively pursuing her instead. This mixed messaging, so confusing for neat and proper Pran, was also something Pat had done in several other instances.
Although there are many examples of Pat being kind, selfless and caring (one of the first was Pat creating a guitar pick in high school for Pran at Ep.3 [1I4] 3.24, the others are too many to list), there are also examples of Pat proffering friendship and intimacy, and then subverting the situation with some kind of backtrack or flipped re-framing of the narrative, sometimes even by issuing an in-your-face challenge (the latter probably from being conditioned by his dad not to show vulnerability). These include: returning Pran’s watch, then saying “…don’t talk to me in front of people” (Ep.1 [4/4] 10.21); laying himself quite bare (literally and figuratively – going shirtless at one point, then engaging in heartfelt conversation) when bunking over at Ep.4 [4/4] 10.43, before crushing Pran’s heart with a “chob” to confirm he liked Ink; applying medication to Pran’s injured shoulder at Ep.4 [3I4] 7.07, only to suggest he wanted Pran to recover so that they could compete directly in rugby; and returning Pran’s guitar (that he had saved), then saying “I just like to see your face… when you lose” (Ep.3 [4/4] 10.35). The last one causes Pran to smile ruefully at his watch at Ep.3 [4/4] 11.01 (the same watch Pat had salvaged and returned to him when they were kids), as though reminding himself to expect no more and no less from Pat. 🤷♂️
Pat even does this during the Christmas contest songwriting process (beginning Ep.5 [3I4] 0.53). When Pran says “Nothing happens at the beginning but without realizing it, their feelings…”, Pat jumps in eagerly with “Their feelings have changed”, raising Pran’s hopes at Ep.5 [3I4] 1.27, before reversing the direction with “And they become rivals” (!). Pran goes “Huh?” at Ep.5 [3I4] 1.31, but you can almost hear his rooftop “Shia, Pat!” (Ep.5 [4/4] 8.57) in his head. 🤣
So no wonder Pran said: “Pat, you’ve got to stop doing this to me. We are not a thing” at Ep.5 [4/4] 8.58. Exhausted by the push-and-pull, Pran had no faith in Pat’s constant, clueless signalling of romantic intentions, especially in the light of his clear-as-day messaging about Ink. When Pat – the big, bad puppywolf baying at the gate of his fortress – broke through Pran’s emotional walls and landed that first kiss, for Pran the moment was clouded by Pat having proven time and again that he was also capable of recanting any demonstration of affection. And when Pran, despite himself, gave in to the groundswell of his long pent-up emotions and returned Pat’s kiss, all of these jangling, jagged thoughts must have been crashing about in his head as well. So of course he pulled away – for in the end, that epic kiss was also an act of intimacy portending surefire heartbreak, most likely in the form of Pat leaving him for Ink (“Things don’t end well whenever I’m close to you”)…
[Afterpost Edit: For a closer look at Pran's state of mind – if he was pulling back from Pat and that kiss, where was he retreating TO really? – do check out the analysis and explanation here. And for the significance of Pran's dumpling sketch, you can read more here.😉]
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