the hammer is my penis

Well hiya! The names's Clubs but you can call me CD if it suits ya'. Or Droll, but I'm not allowed ta' use that name any more...

[cluelessdeviant]

there are nine million kitties on my dash

nine

million

kitties

[cluelessdeviant]

"I’m not cute, I’m manl- ah!" 

Whatever complaints were about to be made are lost as shelled hands clamp over Deuce’s mouth.  He bites his lip though all this only does the minimum to stifle his surprised moans.  His hands move from his mouth to Slick’s chest and he nearly sighs when the hand returns to his crotch, leaning into the contact despite the discomfort of moving he had to endure to get there.

"W-well…  Yeah!  What of it!  Wouldn’t you be if you were in my s-seat?" Maybe acting petulant will save him some small scrap of pride.  Yeah. Right.

[paininspades]

"I don’t think so, nah," Slick teased, rubbing his palm harder against the smaller carapacian’s arousal.  "Yer too easy ya cute little ficker."  He gave the tip of the bulge in Deuce’s pants a single hard, playful flick before returning to rubbing it.  "Too easy ta hook, too easy ta bait, too easy ta trap…"  He suddenly wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s arms and held him tight, nipping hard at his neck and growling as he did.

"And now yer all mine~"

[cluelessdeviant]

The flick draws out another barely-stifled moan from Clubs and he has to fight to keep from begging.  He bites his lip instead, small but pointed teeth digging into the tender bit of black he finds there.  "Hey!  M' not eas- ah!"  He gasps, knotting short fingers in Slick's clothes as the bite sends shivers up his spine.  A soft keen sneaks past the small dersite's guard, though the way his body moves needily against Slick's should be all the indication he needs.

Still, a little begging couldn't hurt, even if it does make his carapace darken with embarrassment. 

"Please b-boss, don't leave me hangin' like this...  I'm yers, I've always been yers just please."

[ariesenautonomous-deactivated20]

well thank you :)

its doing all right! talking to friends, preparing for war, feeding the ghosts

the usual

and yourself mr deuce?

[cluelessdeviant]

?????????

you have ghosts!?!?!  that's the coolest thing i've heard all week i'm so happy i'm happy you exist wow i had a lot of sugar never again

uhh...  i made popcorn and only burnt some of it?  and found out how to sneak weapons grade explosives into my shoes???

[cluelessdeviant]

i don’t have a pretty picture like yours but hello!!!!

i’m clubs it’s nice ta meetcha’!

:D

[ariesenautonomous-deactivated20]

oh gosh wow its not all that

er anyway hello clubs its nice to meet you too i suppose :0

[cluelessdeviant]

i dunno it was pretty pretty  

well thanks!  how was yer evenin'??

[cluelessdeviant]

one time i made out with a feltie and boy that was weird hahahahaah

[ickno]

my lips are soft come here ill kiss you to prove it

[cluelessdeviant]

yes but i picked out the burnt bits 

i also have a box of popcorn literally an entire box who even needs this much popcorn???

8?

[fillypower-archive]

D—> I knew there w001d be a catch D—> What sort of booty do you have D—> That is the deal breaker here

[cluelessdeviant]

*nervously sweats*

*but doesnt because haha loser i have an exoskeleton* 

uhhh

the.....nice kind?  it's sorta round??  and generally very butt shaped?  

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[cluelessdeviant]

the offer is still standing  :)))

i’ll let you touch one (1) cute carapace booty if you talk to me (and probably make me popcorn hahahaha it comes with interest now sucker)

:D

[fillypower-archive]

D—> That sounds like it is an offer that is far too good to be true D—> Is the popcorn burnt

[cluelessdeviant]

yes but i picked out the burnt bits 

i also have a box of popcorn literally an entire box who even needs this much popcorn???

8?

[cluelessdeviant]

the offer is still standing  :)))

i'll let you touch one (1) cute carapace booty if you talk to me (and probably make me popcorn hahahaha it comes with interest now sucker)

:D

[ariesenautonomous-deactivated20]

+ cluelessdeviant

oh

hello there

[cluelessdeviant]

i don't have a pretty picture like yours but hello!!!!

i'm clubs it's nice ta meetcha'!

:D

[cluelessdeviant]

if i let you touch the but will you talk to me?

:''D

[nishlo-deactivated20151015]

officer, I know I was speeding but technically u were too so I’m gonna have to arrest u please step out of the vehicle

[jolyene]

EVERYONE PUT THIS GIF ON YOUR BLOG IMMEDIATLY IT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE VIRUS!!

[cluelessdeviant]

ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyylmao

[adorablespiders]

Poecilotheria metallica  close up

image source

[dailyanimals]

[x]

[pixel-dicks]