Don&#x27;t Let Me Go Alone...

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

Rey could feel the agonizing pain Ben was in as the Lanai worked on him, her body flinching at the sound of his leg being put back into place and more than anything, she wanted to rid him of his pain, but she had no way of doing so. The most she could do was send him waves of comfort through the bond, reaching out to him and reminding him that she was there, that he wasn’t alone. Just as he had done with her in the past, the most recent being on Exegol. He had been her light in that darkness, her calm during that storm, her strength when she felt lost and now, she was trying to be that for him.

And as soon as the Caretakers had finished, Rey was right at his side, taking his hand in hers and this time, physically reminding him that she was there and that he was alright. The hardest part was over, finally, and now the pain remedies would hopefully take affect, as well as the light sedative to help keep him calm and, hopefully, help him rest which he needed more than anything right now.

She couldn’t help but give a little smirk at his words, followed by a gentle squeeze of his hand as she pulled up a stone stool to sit down on, refusing to leave his side. His voice was weak and barely above a whisper, no doubt a result of the agonizing pain and sedative, and she could see his eyes struggling to remain open. “Try and sleep, Ben…” Rey encouraged, keeping his hand in hers and using her free hand to gently stroke his hair, fingers combing through his dark locks ever so gently in hopes to help lull him into a much needed sleep.

She couldn’t help but feel a little afraid, though, at the thought of him losing consciousness only because the last time that happened, his heart had stopped. She knew this wouldn’t be the case, that it wouldn’t happen again, but it was an image she couldn’t get out of her mind and they were practically in the same position as when it happened - their hands grasping one another’s with her body looming over his. Her mind flashed to that devastating moment and she couldn’t help the tears that fell from her eyes just thinking about it.

He’ll be alright. Rey told herself, refusing to believe anything else. He just needed to rest.

“Rest, okay? I’ll be with you.” Rey promised him, learning down so she could press her lips lovingly to his forehead, allowing them to linger for a few long moments.

A cool breeze of ease gently swept over him as Rey took his hand. A shaky breath left his lips, his eyes landing on their now joined hands. Even though she tried to hide it, Ben knew and sensed just how wary and pained she was, how worried she was. She needed rest too, even if he admittedly was in far worse shape. Physically. Rey was fine, a bit ached most likely, even if he had brought her back. It was the mental and emotional exhaustion he felt weighing on him just as it must have weighed on her.

Ben’s thumb flicked over Rey’s knuckles. “And you? Do you plan on just sitting there?” He asked, knowing that she would most likely do just that. It was again, endearing, but not what he wanted. Rey’s health was important. If she began to wither away because she was too busy watching over him, his sacrifice would have been for nothing. He also would not be able to live with himself.

“You need rest, too,” he managed to get out, even with sleep knocking at his door. “Don’t fool yourself.” Ben barely felt the whisper of her kiss over his forehead, but he knew it was there. His breath wavered and it even took what he had left of his strength to reach with his other hand and let his fingers tangle into the messy knots on the back of her head.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

He didn’t hesitate to start undressing so Rey stayed where she was, wishing she could do something to help them. To help him, but she didn’t want to get in the way. With her luck here on Ahch-To, she’d likely break something or anger the caretakers that were kind enough to help them. But when she noticed him struggling to remove his shirt, the pain evident on his face, Rey immediately moved forward, causing one of the Caretakers to step aside, her expression one of displeasure and annoyance, but it faded when she watched the human gently take hold of the injured one’s shirt and pull it up and over his head, slowly. Gingerly. Careful not to hurt him.

Her eyes locked with Ben’s after she pulled the shirt from him, keeping it in her hands and offering him a warm smile before she stepped back, murmuring an apology to the Caretakers for getting in their way, but she just… couldn’t stop herself. She felt his pain, she saw his struggle, and her instinct kicked in - her want and need to help him. The sight of his bruised torso had Rey frowning - his skin an ugly dark purple and black, and swollen, too. Her heart sunk seeing him like this and she felt sick. Sick and angry. Angry at the man that did this to him, but then her eyes traveled south and her heart clenched upon seeing the scar.

The one she gave him. The second scar she’s left him with, but this one could have killed him and she felt sick thinking about it. Sick and angry, but this time with herself. Her expression was one of extreme guilt as she stared at it, her eyes becoming wet, and it wasn’t until one of the Caretakers stepped in front of him, blocking her line of sight, that Rey was pulled from her thoughts, bringing her back to this moment. They worked on him with haste, but they were thorough and careful. They knew what they were doing. They applied healing salves to his gashes, scrapes and bruising - it would help prevent infection while helping to numb the pain in those areas, as well as advising him to drink some liquid they made from the numerous herbs - an added pain remedy on top of the salve.

Rey remained in the room the whole time, offering him warm, reassuring smiles whenever he looked her way while trying to help him keep calm via their bond, their way of sending vibes between one another - a silent way to communicate and convey what they couldn’t, or didn’t, with words.

Once they had finished, the taller Lanai patted the pillow behind him all the while speaking the language Rey assumed he didn’t understand. Though, she could be wrong, of course. “They want you to rest.” Rey spoke up, making her way back over to him. “The liquid they gave you is also a muscle relaxant, a light sedative.” She translated, having picked up on their language a bit during her time here previously, though, she learned quite quickly and she wondered if the Force had something to do with that.

“Are you feeling alright?”

It felt like forever as the Lenai treated his battered body. They couldn’t do much with the ribs, even they seemed to know that a binding would do more harm when he tried to rest. His breathing would be constricted, leaving him even weaker than he already was. His leg, however? That was a pain he wished no one had to witness, less so, Rey.

Three of the smaller Lenai worked on setting the bone back in place. Ben saw black spots take his vision as he bit back the urge to scream. He tasted the copper in his mouth, and his breathing became spastic even after the bone was set. The horrid pain lingered, and no balm they gave him help. Ben reached for the bond, using the soft, calming waves to help ease the torture he had been put under. It was all he could do.

He appreciated Rey being there, even if he wished she did not have to witness the horrid sights. Ben felt weak, useless. His body was tattered, and he felt too heavy to even move. He wished it was all over.

Sleep, he wanted sleep.

By the time they finished, Ben swore that hours had passed, but considering just how dazed he was, he could have been wrong.

Rey’s voice was like an anchor for him to stay conscious, even with the tranquil waves she had pushed towards him. “Never better...” His voice was haggard, matching just how he felt. Gods, he was tired.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

It was a bit of a struggle getting up the steps that lead to the hut the Caretakers had directed her towards and she could feel Ben doing his best not to lean on her too much, but that only made it a bigger struggle for him given his broken legs, his - most likely - broken ribs and just his completely battered body in general. Rey was sore, too - her body ached, but she knew it was nothing compared to Ben’s pain. She hadn’t been thrown over the edge, down into a dark abyss that was who knows how deep, but deep enough to injure him severely. She remembered wanting to cry out, wanting to scream for Ben when they had happened, but her body wouldn’t let her. Though, it provided her with enough strength, with enough determination, to put an end to the man that caused people so much grief and pain - including Ben and herself. And she did, with the help of all the Jedi, and after she watched him literally come apart in front of her, she wanted so badly to reach out to Ben, to make sure that he was alright, but again, her body betrayed her. And complete darkness took over.

Until Ben filled her with light again. With life. Helping to alleviate some of the pain her body felt and though her kiss was one of passion, love and gratitude - it as her way of trying to heal him, too. At least trying to ease some of the pain he was in, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to heal his broken bones, but at least they had help now. From the same beings that took care of Luke Skywalker.

She was panting by the time they reached the hut, sweat covering her forehead again, but she pushed on, entering through the opened door and immediately being greeted by another Caretaker whom gestured for her to follow. It was certainly bigger than any of the other huts she’d see, no doubt their medical facility, Rey would call it. Though, unlike at the base, there were no machines to be found - no wires hanging on the wall, no constant beeping, none of it. That didn’t surprise her, of course.

She set Ben down onto one of the stone beds, though it was cushioned with fabric, and she stepped aside when a few caretakers entered the room, immediately taking a look at Ben to assess his injuries. Rey told them about the fight, about his fall, anything that would help them decide how to tend to his injuries and the taller of the Lanai nodded, turning to look at him and making a gesture towards his clothing. If they were to help him, they needed to see him. Rey blushed and bit down on her bottom lip. “It’s okay. You can trust them.” Rey reassured him. They probably didn’t need him to be completely naked, but without his shirts and pants to better assess his injuries, all the while another Lanai was gathering supplies, from medication to instruments and bandaging material.

“I can, uh…I can look away. Or step out until they’re done.” She offered, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by being almost completely naked in front of her. She’s seen him shirtless before - an image that never left her mind - but she knew this would be a little more than that. And she didn’t want to leave his side, but she would if it would make him more comfortable with what the Caretakers needed to do.

Guilt surged through Ben more than the physical pain he was in. Watching and feeling Rey as she struggled to support him while dealing with her own aches was punishment. It was almost like his own, personal Chaos. How he wished he could have walked on his own, how he could have just find mutual comfort. That wasn’t the case. Rey had to sacrifice her own healing to make sure he was attended to. So, in that moment, he hated himself, and he really hated Palpatine.

He did his best to support himself: Using his good leg to propel himself forward, using it to hold most of his weight rather than leaning fully on Rey. Would it better his condition? Obviously not. Did it at least help Rey? A bit, and that was enough for him.

Once they made it to the hut, Ben was placed down on the large cot. He let out a breath of relief as pressure was finally alleviated from his tattered body. What he wanted to do was sleep, but the natives had other things in mind. Of course they needed to assess the injuries and see just how bad they truly were. Of course that meant he needed to undress just enough for them to investigate.

It was hard not to notice the bright red hue that took over Rey’s flesh. Why was she so flustered? It wasn’t as if she hadn’t stumbled upon him without his shirt on? At least, that was what he told himself so he wouldn’t feel flustered himself.

There was absolutely nothing romantic or wonderful about his undress, which helped subside how meek he felt at first. He tried to remove his shirt first, but raising his arm was quite the challenge. The Lanai managed to help with the rest, and by the time Ben was left with his briefs only, he was already winded, sweat heavy on his brow. His body was covered with bruises, mainly on his left side where his body had slammed against the edge of the pit, breaking apart bits of rock. His leg was swollen, much like his side. In short, he looked as good as he felt. Suffering the injuries from Chewie and Rey that first time they met was nothing compared to how he felt at that moment.

Maybe it was because he fed off that pain before, used it to push him forward. That was a perk from the Dark Side, that was for sure.

The Lanai started to work on him, checking his injuries, some even began to mix up what appeared to be different herbs.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

After landing the ship, Rey let out a sigh of relief. Relief that they had made it here safely without being chased, relief that they had /both/ made it out of there. Alive. Barely, but still. The Force - the Jedi of the past - had come through for the both of them, helping to end the battle and give them another chance at life. Together.

Rey pushed herself up from her seat and climbed out of the cockpit before making her way to Ben’s side, reaching in so she could help him out of it, being as careful as possible, though given how small the ship was and how high they were from the ground, it wasn’t exactly that easy. But she mustered all of her strength, some with the help of the Force, to help him out of the cockpit and down onto the ground where she wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled his arm around her shoulders so she could help him walk. Gods, he was so much taller than her, but admittedly, she truly didn’t mind that. The way his body towered over hers made her feel… safe. Secure. Protected. “We’ll be safe here.” Rey assured him, her hand holding onto his that was draped over her shoulders. “It’s a good place to rest for awhile. Plenty of supplies and food and…” Her words were interrupted when a couple of short, gray-skinned avian creatures approached them. They didn’t seem all too thrilled to see them. Or rather, to see /Rey/. For good reason. They fussed at her a little. “Caretakers.” Rey finished her sentence from moments ago. “Can you help us? Please. He’s injured. Badly. He needs help…“ It was more than a request, it was a /plea/. She knew the caretakers didn’t like her all that much, for good reason, but the look in her eyes was one of desperation. And it was apologetic, too. The Lanai studied the man, their small eyes taking him in from head to toe before they conversed with one another. During her time here, Rey had picked up on some of their language - being a fast learner and all - but most of the time they conveyed their feelings and responses through their actions. And they gave them a nod before pointing up at the large hut not too far behind them. Larger than most of the other huts surrounding them. Rey was a little surprised that they accepted so quickly, but she had a feeling it had to do with Luke’s influence and the fact that when someone came here seeking aid, they weren’t ones to turn them away. Unless they meant harm, but they knew Rey didn’t, despite her many accidents on the island.

“Thank you.” Rey breathed in relief, tightening her hold on Ben before moving forward again, towards the hut the Caretakers had pointed out. “I’ll explain everything later…”

With a deep breath, Ben reached up, accepting Rey’s help despite the sharp pain the movement caused. His vision blurred and he had to fight away the urge to curl into himself. So many hours of dealing with his broken body, he craved sleep. Still, he just needed to help Rey help him.

He clawed onto the fabric mused over Rey’s shoulder as he found his footing. Ben didn’t want all his weight crashing against her, to be a complete burden. That in itself was found to be quite difficult. He almost spat out an apology, but he forced it down. If he even dared to say ‘I’m sorry’, he was sure a lecture would be thrown his way. Instead, he let the tips of his fingers brush gently against Rey’s soft shoulder, a silent ‘thank you’ for being at his side.

She was stood by his side. It was what he wanted for so long. Sure, the outcome was different, but there was far more peace than what could have been offered if she had taken his hand earlier. This was the better ending-- no, beginning. Ben’s life could reset with Rey by his side, being there with him. It truly hadn’t hit him, not until that moment. He wanted to spin her around, laugh! Unfortunately his body was far too broken to even chuckle without a dull vibration of discomfort.

Ben didn’t even find himself caring about where they were anymore, too many thoughts swam in his head, only when the grey, little creatures poked their faces in his view did he snap out of the dizzy spill. They were strange with turtle-like faces and bird feet. Thankfully, they meant no harm, though the hostility was evident.

Ben only nodded in response.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

“We won’t.” Rey stated, her voice sure, unafraid. It was just a…feeling she had. One that assured her that no harm would come to them. Besides, she didn’t fly them right into the Resistance’s line of sight, instead she flew opposite of it. Furthest from where most of their ships were flying and some of them had already fled from the planet’s atmosphere, anyway. There certainly weren’t as many ships as there were several minutes ago which, thankfully, made it a bit safer for them. “Master Luke’s ship has a tracker in it. It’s how I led them here, to Exegol, but I don’t want them to follow us where we’re going.” That was the last thing they needed, especially if they wanted Ben to recover. As badly as she wanted to see her friends, that would have to wait for now. At least she knew that her closest friends were all alright, what with not having felt anything as terrifying and numbing as she did when Ben’s life left him. Or Leia’s.

It was when they were outside of the planet’s atmosphere that she caught sight of the Millennium Falcon in the distance, but it didn’t pursue her. And it didn’t fire. And Rey smiled. She smiled because she knew who was on it. She smiled because she knew that he felt it, too. And she smiled because, well, she had her suspicions that a certain someone had a certain sensitivity to everything around him. To the Force itself. She’d make sure to talk to him about it when they saw each other again. We will see each other again.

With that, Rey flew them far away from the planets once shrouded in darkness and out of the entire system and into another. The planet before them was covered in blues and greens, similar to Takodana, but with a little less green and more…water. Though, Rey hadn’t traveled beyond where she had stayed previously during her time here training under Master Luke. And what better place to hide and recover than an isolated island inhabited with creatures that knew just how to take care of someone? Granted, they didn’t exactly like Rey, but something told her they wouldn’t turn Ben away.

With a sigh, Rey landed at the edge of the cliff not too far from the village she once stayed in. Thankfully this ship was much smaller than the Falcon, thus allowing a closer perch where they wouldn’t have to hike up too many stairs.

“We’re here.”

Ben pressed his lips together tightly to keep from saying the contrary. He really didn’t need to rile Rey up anymore, besides, he was in no condition to even try to defend himself, damn. He just listened. He wondered why Rey didn’t want them knowing where she was going, that she was already. She didn’t even send a signal, not that he knew of, at least. Though, if she did, he probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway for he was far too woozy. Any Force signature, any gift his sensitivities would have granted all felt fuzzy. It was truly as though he was sedated, and he hated it. So, there was nothing else he could do but seethe where he sat.

What he did catch was his father’s ship. Of course, that was what he noticed. It flew away, much like it had many times before. There was an all too familiar ache in his heart. The glare that had automatically formed at the sight of the ship soon turned into longing-- though he would never admit it. Now that he had turned his back to the Dark Side, all the love he refused to accept crept up from the cracks in his heart. That was not something he welcomed so easily.

Ben said nothing throughout the trip, he was stuck in his own haze, trying so hard to piece the last few hours together in his brain. He had turned, he no longer was Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was dead. Palpatine was dead. For a moment, he was dead, but now, he was free. In pain, but free. Rey was by his side. His mother, his uncle, and someone else had saved him. Part of him knew who the other figure was, but the thought made him sick: out of all the times to show his face, he had chosen the very last minute. Disgusting.

Soon enough, they arrived to the mysterious destination, but Ben knew where they were. The Force was almost suffocating him. Ben sat as straight as he could without feeling pain. He took in what he could from the view finder.

#musing #musing: i'll be with you #//thanks...

kyloren

FOR I CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU

kyloren

#he offered her his hand but what he was really offering was his heart ( @galacticidiots )

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

His huff didn’t go unnoticed and Rey glanced at him, eyes narrowed. She knew it wasn’t the smartest idea, but at least for supplies. And for them to know that she was alive and that he helped. But she knew it wouldn’t exactly happen that way. Yes, they’d be happy to see her, relieved that she survived the battle with Palpatine and escaped, but welcoming Ben with open arms? No, they wouldn’t do that. And Rey knew it. She didn’t even expect them to, but she didn’t want them to damn him either. His story deserved to be told, his heroic fight, his heroic sacrifice…

But it was a story probably best saved for later after Ben had time to recover. If she brought him to them now, while they were no doubt celebrating, it would only create tension. Anger. Even rage. And that’s not what Ben needed. That’s not what anyone needed, especially after finally putting an end to this war.

“Alright. Come on.” Rey nodded, moving towards the grounded TIE Fighter that Ben had come in on. She figured one of his troopers had tracked his whereabouts Kef Bir and that’s how he managed to escape that ocean moon, the place she had left him stranded on after their fight. The mere thought filling her heart with guilt and shame. Not just because she left him stranded, but because of what happened prior to her leaving…

Rey pushed those troubling thoughts aside and focused on getting them to the TIE Fighter. She leaned him up against the wing of it so she could climb herself up first and once the hatch opened, she reached down to take hold of his hands and used all her strength, and the Force itself, to pull him up. Force, he really was so much bigger than her. “I don’t appreciate the cockpit being this high from the ground…Kriff…” Rey cursed as she continued to pull him upwards.

Finally, she helped him into the cockpit, into the seat opposite the pilot’s before sitting herself in the pilot’s seat and starting up the ship. The ship lifted from the ground and she gave the X-Wing once final glance, frowning as she watched it disappear from their view and muttering an apology for having to leave it behind. Perhaps one day she would come back for it, but her main priority was getting them out of here and getting Ben somewhere safe. to Ahch-To.

He sensed that Rey was annoyed, or at least frustrated with his response, but it was true. If he stepped onto the Resistance base during their celebrations and mournings, Ben would be lucky if he was left unharmed. He didn’t want to put Rey through that, or anyone really. It was better if he remained in hiding, at least until he was physically ready to face the consequences of his actions.

They moved towards the TIE Fighter, it wasn’t ideal, but considering his broken bones, it was far more comfortable than the single-seat X-Wing. He just had to hold onto the hope that no one would fire at them as they made their escape. While the battle seemed to be coming to an end, that only meant that there would still be many on edge, ready to take down any enemies-- they also would do so brutally and confidently. That made him second-guess her choice. The last thing Ben wanted was for Rey to be blown from the sky because of of his comfort. “I only hope we don’t get killed,” Ben muttered, hoping that it would help change Rey’s mind-- it didn’t. He was led to the TIE and leaned against it for support as Rey climbed into the cockpit. He took that time to catch his breath and try to collect his thoughts.

This was it, he was really free. It still hadn’t hit him. He no longer was Palpatine’s puppet, the face of the First Order. A slave to the Dark Side. He was finally free to be Ben. However, after all these years, did he know who Ben was? That was a question for another time. Rey’s hands neared his face, reaching down to take his.

Ben reached up, gritting his teeth through the agony that shot through his side. He did his best to help, using his good leg to push upward. Finally, after what seemed to be hours, he settled in the CO-pilot’s seat. He no longer hid the shallow breaths and curled to the side, Funny how he would have used the pain before to feed the Darkness inside of him, now, he just wanted it to go away and to feel useful.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

Rey could feel the pain that he was in. Just like she felt his body become cold and lifeless. She could feel what he did and he could feel what she did. The relief, the excitement, the urgency to get away from this place and somewhere safe. Somewhere they could talk. Somewhere they could just…be. But where? Rey…wasn’t quite sure yet. But she did know that Ben needed help. He needed somewhere to rest, to recover.

Finally they were outside and though the world was dark and eerie, the air outside of the destroyed cathedral felt refreshing. Her eyes looked above, seeing the scattered ships left over from the war and the other ships having fallen towards the surface. Force, she hoped none of them were Resistance. Most of them seemed to be the large Star Destroyers.

Ben’s questioned pulled Rey’s attention from the scene above back down to them, her grip on him still tight. Secure. Protective. She then looked out before them at the two ships in front of them. The X-Wing which sat only one pilot and his TIE Fighter which seated two, but it was the enemy ship. What if they were mistaken for the enemy and shot down? No, Rey wouldn’t let that happen. She was a damn good pilot and surely they’d know…somehow.

“We could head back to our base. On Ajan Kloss, that’s where everyone will be. We could get you help there..” But her words were hesitant. Only because she didn’t know how everyone would react to seeing Ben there. Not that she’d let them hurt him. Force, no. She wouldn’t let anyone lay a finger on him. She’d make sure they knew what he did - how he saved her life, helped save their lives, and end this war.

But it wouldn’t exactly be the most peaceful place for them. But there was another…

“But if not there, then I know somewhere else…” Somewhere she was all too familiar with. Where she began her training and where she nearly ended it, having ran and hid, almost turning her back from the war for fear of what she was. There wasn’t much there, but it was peaceful. Quiet. Isolated.

Still though. Getting supplies from the Resistance would be somewhat helpful.

Ben’s breath was shaky as he inhaled the fresh air. It pained him, but it was worth it. He felt alive, battered but alive. This was his chance to start anew, to live a life without being manipulated or gaslighted. First, they needed to find safety, which wasn’t easy with him around. Just because he helped bring down Palpatine, that didn’t mean he was suddenly forgiven for all the atrocities he had committed. No, this changed nothing.

He could have turned himself in, put himself at the Resistance’s mercy, but surely, Rey would not have allowed it. Plus, he would have basically been wasting the life his mother had offered him. He wanted to right his wrongs, even if it was just helping those in need, those effected by what he had done. Maybe when he had his strength back, he could do that. Yeah, that sounded nice.

Ben huffed at the mention of the base. Yes, he would so be welcomed with open arms. They would be lucky if he wasn’t led off in handcuffs. No, there had to be another place-- and according to Rey, there was. “Yeah, I think that other place may be better until I can stand on my own,” Ben grumbled. He nudged Rey forward, wanting nothing more than to lead her to one of the ships.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

The color had returned to his face, as well as his eyes - that beautiful golden brown that she loved so much, that she knew so well. That she was relieved to see. And just like the couple of times before, she could feel her body filling with warmth just from looking into his eyes like this - feeling a powerful sense of security, comfort and belonging. And even more so when his arms wrapped around her, pulling her lithe frame into his large one and she welcomed it by embracing him in return, her face falling into his neck. Breathing him in.

But then came his words, a reminder of where they still were. She’d become so lost in this moment, so lost in him and their own world, that for a moment, she’d forgotten that they were still on Exegol. Surrounded by darkness and evil, though it was no more, but still surrounded with the dangers of the building collapsing around them. The ground rumbled beneath them and the rubble continued to fall from above them. He was right. As badly as Rey didn’t want to pull away from him, they did need to leave. But together.

With a nod, Rey scrambled to her feet, the sudden lightheaded-ness making her stumble, but she’s never felt more alive. More revitalized and she knew it wasn’t just because of their victory. It was because of Ben. And the life he gave her, and just the fact that he was alive with her. Once she steadied herself, she held out her hand and waited for him to take it, her fingers curling around his before pulled, helping him onto his feet. But that’s when she noticed his leg, how badly injured it was…possibly broken… “Here, lean against me, Ben..” Rey stated as she pulled his arm over her shoulder with her hand holding onto his and her other arm wrapped around his waist to help support him. With a deep breath, they moved forward, moving as quickly as they could towards the platform that would take them up which, thankfully, was still in working condition because if it wasn’t? That’d be a huge problem.

Once the platform came to a stop, her hold on him tightened and they moved forward again, able to see the light from outside not too far now. The light that was guiding them to their escape. “We’re nearly there…keep holding onto me,” So close. They were so close to escaping this hellish place and so close to what Rey couldn’t help but think would be their new beginning.

Feeling Rey return the embrace, her warm body against his made him feel safe, as pathetic as it might have sounded, but he belonged. They belonged together. If she were to leave, he would have been torn-- he felt it, for a short moment, but it felt like an eternity. Ben knew full and well that it must have pained Rey too, she must have felt what he did, like being empty and ripped apart. He hated that she felt that, she felt the awful and agonizing void he had. The thought made him hold her closer, tighter with his hands balled into fists.

He didn’t want to let go, but there was no safety. If they remained there in that sweet embrace, they would surely would have left their new lives to go to absolute waste. He was sure that the cathedral was ready to collapse with them in it. Such irony, being crushed by the evil after they had destroyed Palpatine.

They finally let go, and Ben started to stand, finally feeling the pain again. It was as though a knife had been jammed into his ribs, his leg throbbed mercilessly. He took a sharp intake of breath, which did nothing to help the pain in his ribs. His newly found grip around Rey’s hand tightened to keep from screaming as he stood, nauseous from the pain. He wanted to apologize for the tight grip, but the words didn’t even leave his lips, well, they couldn't. There was no choice but to lean against Rey as he stood. They began to walk, each step more agonizing than the next. He didn’t dare complain though. He really owed her.

The light was blinding, but welcoming. It wasn’t too different from the cathedral they had just been in for so long, but the difference was still noticeable. It made Ben crave sunlight, real sunlight-- that was new.

He groaned before he spoke, eyes on Rey, curious as ever. “Now what?”

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

The tears were streaming from Rey’s eyes now as his body went completely cold and motionless. Lifeless. But even when he fell back, her arm cradled him around his neck, softening his fall and laying him down gently while her other hand still grasped his. Twice he had asked her to take his hand, twice she had refused. But now? Now she had his hand and she refused to let go.

He didn’t deserve this. He helped end this war, he helped bring down the great evil that for decades threatened peace, and he saved her life. Sacrificed her own to bring her back and he…he didn’t deserve death. He deserved a chance at life, a chance to live in the light, to be free from the darkness and suffering that he had drowned in for so long. The abandonment, manipulation, betrayal and torture - he was free from it and he deserved to life a life without it. To live a life with love and belonging and so did Rey. And it was something they found in each other.

But it was being ripped away from them both. But she didn’t let go. She fought against it.

And she wasn’t the only one fighting. She wasn’t the only one trying to help Ben, trying to save him, because now, she felt them, too. Luke, Leia, as well as another presence she wasn’t completely familiar with, but…she knew. She knew who it was because he stood with Luke and Leia and he was here for Ben. Their father. Ben’s grandfather.

Rey kept her forehead against his, her tears falling onto his face, still pleading with him to be with her, and she could start to feel his body fill with warmth, with…with life.

Suddenly his eyes opened and he gasped and Rey pulled her face back to give him room to breathe, a look of that same relief in her eyes just like before, and this time, it was accompanied with a joyful, tearful laugh. With her free hand, after pulling her arm from behind his neck, it went immediately to his face, fingers stroking his skin, and the tips of her fingers brushing against his hair, the tears continuing to fall from her eyes. “You’re with me…” She breathed in relief, his skin warm against her hand. Warm and alive.

His vision was blurred. He was able to make out Rey’s face: so close, still so tragically beautiful. There were three others, they weren’t as clear, as they stood far back behind Rey, keeping their distance. He recognized two of the figures, one of which helped pull him out of the darkness he had fallen into. However, the extra figure-- the eyes were so piercing, sullen. He didn’t have a chance to focus any further as Rey began to speak. His eyes fell back onto her, the realization quickly striking him-- He was alive, given a second chance to live.

Ben took in breaths as though he was afraid he would stop again. His hand squeezed Rey’s tightly before he began to pull himself up. It was easier than he had figured it would have been, but he was looking into Rey’s eyes again, his own wide in disbelief.

Without a second thought, his arms looped around Rey’s waist, pulling her into a tight embrace. The Force around them pulsated and sang. He felt complete, as though he had lost a part of himself and finally found it. A missing piece of a puzzle.

He never wanted to be separated.

“We have to go.”

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]

Rey kept her hand on his face even when their lips parted, her thumb gingerly stroking his cheek as her lips stretched into that wide, gleeful smile that had rarely graced her face. And when his lips stretched into a smile of their own - one Rey had never seen before - her heart fluttered. It danced. She could /feel/ how happy he was, how relieved he was, and she was sure he could feel her own, too. Because after all - they were one. They felt what the other felt. Including the dizziness, but it wasn’t just that. It was something else, something far more cold, and terrifying and…deadly. The smile faded from her face and the look of relief and joy in her eyes was replaced with dread and panic. She could feel his life force leaving him, she could feel him growing cold this time and it had her pulling him closer, holding on for dear life. For his life. She wouldn’t let him go. She refused.

As his body grew weaker, her hold on him tightened and she pressed her forehead to his, tears in her eyes, cracks in her voice as she whispered, “Don’t leave me. Ben, please…” It was a desperate plea, one she hoped would be answered as she focused all of her attention on Ben - all of her thoughts, her focus, her strength. He was still with her, but he was fading, so she focused on keeping him here with her, and her hand that still held his tightened.

“Be with me.” Rey murmured, another plea as her eyes fell closed. “Be with me, be with me…” She chanted, her voice shaky, but her hold on him unwavering. She wouldn’t lose him, she couldn’t lose him.

Don’t let me lose him. Please.

Rey prayed mentally as she chanted verbally and she could feel warmth suddenly surrounding the two of them - warmth and energy that she had sensed before. That gave her the strength to defeat Palpatine and now, they were helping her again. No. Not her.

They were here to help Ben. To lend him their help. Their strength, their energy. She could feel them. Luke. Leia. She was here for her son, to help him, to save him, and Rey continued to pray, continued to plea for Ben to be with her, to stay with her…

There was darkness, nothingness all around him. He was truly alone. At first, he fought, begging to go back, even if he didn’t deserve to. Still, maybe, just maybe, the galaxy would forgive him and allow him to fully atone for all he had done, to face his mistakes and try to fix them. To stand by Rey’s side, if she so allowed. Ben crawled and crawled, silent tears streaking from his eyes. He knew that there was no choice. He had dug his grave and was forced to lie in it forever. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he felt her, felt that she was okay without him.

Ben allowed himself to feel the self-pity, the loathing. He curled in, his head hitting his knees as the empty agony ripped through him. Every mistake, every awful, gut-wrenching choice he had made played over and over in his head. Was this Hell? Was this Chaos? Was he forced to relive every dark part of his life? He couldn’t say that he didn’t deserve it, but damn if it didn’t hurt.

Ben...

Was it another form of torture? To hear the voice of his mother, so calm and loving? She died trying to bring him back, there was no point to rub it in. She called his name again, forcing him to look up.

It’s time to wake up, you need to go home.

Home?

He stared at the empty space where his mother was, all her love poured into him. He was light, weightless even. Such warmth, something he hadn’t felt in decades.

Then, with a gasp, his eyes opened.

[ f2f1 || The New Always ]