Hey everyone! This blog is run by a collection of writers (+ a couple honorary writers) for the Criminal Minds Fandom who wanted a place to share all of our recommended fanfiction without clogging our writing pages. Below, you will find a link to each of our main pages and what tag we use to rec fics here!
We will try to tag fics as well as possible to allow you to search based on certain criteria (like angst, cafe, AU, sick fic, smut, etc.). We will accept submissions or suggestions, but please note that this is to highlight works without a lot of engagement, so we ask if you have over 500 notes on the work, you let some other pieces shine!
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@andiebeaword: (#andie recs) I read most anything from the Criminal Minds Fandom. Mostly Spencer with anyone (besides J.J.) and recently Hotch. Also other MGG characters and Matthew fics.
Hello!! I’d like to turn this page into sort of a library of all current Criminal Minds Fanfic Writers and their masterlists!
So if I could have everyone who wants their masterlist shared here, please drop your blog name and masterlist link in inbox and I’ll get to work making it!!!
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: When Spencer's favourite cafe closes, he finds a new place to visit for his morning coffee ritual only he stumbles across a cafe that is home to another regular who just so happens to like playing chess. And just maybe he makes a move, on the board and the pretty girl that plays chess.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None, just soft fluff. Small mention of slight injury, but it's nothing bad. Reader is soft and sweet and shy, some worry and concern towards the end but it's a pretty pure fic
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: Approx 2.2k
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hello, it has been a loooong time! Please let me know what you think of this, feedback is super appreciated! I had a lot of fun writing this and I've been sitting on this idea for MONTHS, feck knows why it took me so long to write it 😅 anyway, it's here now, enjoy!
Spencer was not best pleased.
The cafe he usually visited on his way to work, at lunch times and then after work had shut down, seemingly overnight.
There had been no suggestion of it happening and when he had visited just the previous day, business was doing as well as usual, which for a central area, it was packed.
But now the door was locked, lights off and paper signs were plastered over the windows with capital letters reading
CLOSED DOWN, NO LONGER IN BUSINESS.
Where was Spencer supposed to get coffee now?
Of course, there was the Starbucks at the end of the road on the corner, but their coffee was not quite right for his taste.
He wasn’t willing to sacrifice his daily coffee ritual with vending machine coffee either. Spencer would have rather just drink mildly tepid milk over the acidic vending machine coffee that had punctual notes of cardboard and was far too watered down to even resemble coffee.
Okay, so maybe he’d become a bit of a coffee snob. Though, Spencer wasn’t sure that snob was really the right word here.
In any case, not just any cafe would do. It wasn’t just the coffee he was looking for. He needed a cafe that felt nice to sit in, that felt nice to read while he was in the queue and if he had time, to sit in a corner and read and people watch.
But as he wandered a bit further away from work, Spencer reached the end corner of the road. He’d never been this way before. It was always straight from the subway to the cafe and then straight up the street to work.
Peering around the corner, he saw a little sign in the shape of a coffee cup. Outside were a couple of covered wooden market stalls and from where he stood, it looked like they were crammed tightly with books.
With a quick glance at his watch, Spencer decided he had plenty of time to check it out and he was thankful that he’d been too much into his audiobook that morning to realise that he had left far too early for work.
Taking quick strides down the street, it began to rain as he made his way towards the cafe.
The clouds darkened and with impeccable timing, Spencer made it underneath the cafe awning just in time before the rain came down in torrential sheets.
The coffee shop was open and as he pulled the door to enter, he was suddenly pulled into the warm comforting vibe of the cafe.
Oh, this is perfect, thought Spencer.
There were quite a few customers, but everyone was quiet and going about their morning routines, drinking coffee and reading newspapers, books and enjoying the cafe.
It was heavy on the book theme and there were shelves of used books everywhere in the shop.
There was a sign above the largest bookshelf that read, take a book and leave a note in it for the next reader.
There were large, yellow lights strung along the far brick wall and it gave the most wonderful cosy feeling as Spencer took it all in.
“Good morning sir, would you like to order anything?” There was an older man behind the counter. He had the most fantastic beard and it looked like he kept it in great condition, just like the cafe he worked in.
Spencer didn’t think he’d ever seen such a well kept and well loved cafe before.
“Uh, hi. Can I get a cappuccino please?” He asked as he approached the counter, giving the guy a tight lipped smile and as he reached into the inner breast pocket of his coat.
“Sure, anything else?” He asked.
“A croissant please.” And Spencer handed him the money as he looked around.
Spencer noticed as he was waiting for his coffee that behind him was a girl sitting at a table fairly close to him.
She was beautiful. She had her hair tucked behind her ear as she concentrated hard on something.
Spencer looked down at her table and realised that in front of her was a very small travel chess set and she was playing against herself.
For a moment, while the sounds of the coffee grinder filled the shop, Spencer observed her, watched as she made a couple of moves.
It was interesting, he thought as he watched her. But as he did, he saw a good opening for a move on her board and he wondered if she’d take it.
She’d paused her movements for a moment and Spencer thought she must have been thinking hard about her next move, but when he cast a quick glance up, he realised that she was looking right back at him with a rather curious little smile on her lips.
In a sudden spark of confidence, Spencer stepped over to her table. “Sorry to interrupt your game, it’s very compelling, but you see if you make this move,” Spencer said, reaching out for the piece and when he saw that she was watching him with great interest, he proceeded. “You’re set to win the game after your opponent’s next move.” He said, moving the piece and watching as the smile on her face grew.
“Hm, interesting.” She spoke quietly. “I would have done this, though.” She said softly, undoing his move and immediately winning the game using a move that Spencer remembered seeing in one of the chess handbooks he’d read through before but never actually seen in practice.
“Impressive.” Spencer nodded. “Thank you for letting me try, you’re good.” He said, turning away when the barista told him that his coffee was ready.
“Thank you.” She replied.
Spencer was eager to stay and chat to the pretty chess girl, but one quick glance at his watch told him that Hotch was going to have him if he lingered in the cafe for much longer.
With a quick smile at her, he rushed off with his coffee and his croissant, hoping that his pastry wouldn’t get too soaked in the pouring rain as he rushed down the street to work.
The next day came and Spencer headed down to the same cafe.
He wasn’t sure that he would see the pretty chess girl again, but as he entered the coffee shop, she was there, just like yesterday and it was almost as if she hadn’t moved at all. She sat at the same table with the same drink and the same book at the side of her with the same chess set. The only difference was the position of the pieces on the board and the clothes she wore.
“Hello, can I take your order?” The barista greeted him. Spencer ordered and the sound of his voice caught the girl’s attention. Looking up from her chess game she watched him. Almost like she was waiting for him to notice her.
Just when she was about to make her next move, Spencer turned around after dropping some extra change from his wallet onto the counter as a tip.
“Do you have time for a move again?” She asked, almost timidly.
“I think I have time for one or two.” Spencer beamed at her, stepping towards her table and observing her board before he made his first move.
“What’s your name?” He asked while he watched her make her move. She waited until she had moved her knight before she replied with her name.
Her voice was soft and quiet. It made him feel warm and cosy and he wanted to listen to her more. She sounded sweet, oh he had an innate urge to tell her she was pretty. But Spencer resisted.
“And what about you?” She asked.
“Spencer.” He replied. “It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled, making his next move on the board.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Spencer.” She mirrored his smile and he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt that warm and soft before. The way she said his name, so sweet and soft in her voice, sent butterflies through him.
“Is this your new morning stop?” She asked softly.
“Yep, just down the road from work.” He told her.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then, Spencer.” She smiled up at him, meeting his eyes and he grinned back at her.
“See you tomorrow.” He nodded before turning away to collect his coffee and walking away.
There was no denying in the days that followed that Spencer had a new air about him.
“What’s got you all smitten Reid? You’ve been coming into work with a huge smile the last few days.” Morgan made the observation first.
“Oh it’s nothing.” Spencer said, waving it off.
“Mhm, nothing.” Morgan teased in a sarcastic tone.
“Something nice about changing coffee shops, y’know?” Spencer told him.
“You’re weird, kid.”
Spencer continued his routine of visiting the cafe every morning, making one or two moves on her chess board, exchanging some nice conversation with her before grabbing his coffee and heading off to work.
This went on for over a week until his routine was disrupted with a case in another state and Spencer suddenly disappeared from her routine.
She had gotten used to him coming in and playing chess with her. She thought the first time that he didn’t show up that he just hadn’t had the time that day. But when he didn’t show up several days running, she thought that maybe Spencer had found a different cafe to go to or maybe he didn’t enjoy their conversation as much as she thought he did.
There was something about Spencer that drew her to him. He was sweet and kind and quiet like her. He was good at chess too and he was very handsome. His hair was pretty, his face even prettier.
She found herself almost breathless at the thought of him.
But she worried he might not come back to the little cafe again.
A week passed.
A few more days went by and then suddenly, one morning in the pouring rain, just like the first day he had come into the cafe, Spencer stepped into the coffee shop.
He was a bit damp from the run between the subway and the cafe, but still just as pretty.
She looked up at him as he walked in, curious at his quick entrance and then concerned when she noticed the cuts along his eyebrow and cheek on one side of his face.
Spencer didn’t even need to order, the barista knew what Spencer wanted and went about making his usual order.
“You’re back.” She spoke softly.
“I am, I’m sorry I disappeared. I wanted to tell you but it was quite sudden.” He sighed.
“What happened? Why are you hurt?” She asked.
Spencer chewed on his lip for a moment, mulling over what to tell her. He looked at his watch. He had more than enough time today, he wasn’t due for the post case briefing for another forty minutes.
Taking his coffee from the barista, he pulled the seat out opposite the girl and sat down.
“I’m an FBI agent, I had to go to a different state to work on a case.” He explained quietly.
“Oh.” Was all she replied with and Spencer thought for a moment that it had scared her to know that detail of his life. “Oh, well that makes so much more sense.” She smiled, giggling softly. “No wonder you are always in a rush.” She teased.
A comfortable silence formed and she watched him with soft, kind eyes. “Does it hurt?” She asked.
“A little, I’ve had worse though.” He reassured her and she only smiled in response. She didn’t want to imagine the worse he had endured.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” It was almost a whisper. “I was worried.” Her voice dropped and it had almost been inaudible.
“You were worried?” Spencer asked.
She nodded softly.
“I’m right here and I have more time today, we can play a full game, if you want to?” Spencer asked.
“I’d like that.” She nodded, tears coming to her eyes and Spencer realised just how important he’d become to her, as much as she had become to him too.
“You know what? I’ll make you a deal” Spencer said quietly.
“What’s that?”
“If I win this, I get to ask you anything. If you win, you get to ask me anything you want.” Spencer proposed.
She thought on it for a moment and then finally agreed with a nod and a smirk. “Deal.”
They played, sipping coffee between moves until they were at the last part of the game.
She looked like she might win, but before Spencer took his final move, he took one last look at her possible moves and realised he could use something he’d never done before against her.
Pulling the move she had shown him on their very first meeting, Spencer looked up at her, smiled and said, “checkmate.”
“Oh, well played mister Reid.” She giggled. “So, what will your question be?” She asked.
He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts before looking over at her with a soft smile.
“Will you go on a date with me?” He asked.
“I’d like nothing more.” She replied. “Now, tell me more about that job of yours.”
“You gotta win a question.” He reminded her playfully.
“I can beat you in five turns.” She boasted, raising laughter out of Spencer.
“You’re on.”
Andie here: First fic I’ve read from this lovely writer and it is so wholesome and lovely and you will feel all the warm and fuzzies and coffee smell when you’re done reading this!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
summary: spencer and fem!reader have to drive out to a case instead of taking the jet. reader decides it's a perfect time to tell him how she feels about him. based off the song honey by coastal club
genre: fluffy fluff! 2.6k
warnings: nothing!
you can find my masterlist here!
a/n: I'm not in love with this (also the ending is shit), but I needed something to get me out of my writing slump, so here you go!
It had been four weeks since my surgery, and my doctor had finally given me the all-clear to go back to work, on two conditions: I was not supposed to be active in the field, and I was not allowed to travel on the jet. It was only for two weeks, but I refused to not go with the team on cases just because I couldn't fly.
"Please, Hotch? I'm a doctor too, you know. I swear I'll be fine, it's not even a long flight!"
"First of all, you're not a medical doctor, y/l/n. Second of all, absolutely not," Hotch replied sternly. "You need to follow the instructions that your doctor gave you. You can stay here with Garcia, and join us on the case virtually."
"What if I drove? The case is only in Boston, that's less than an eight-hour drive."
Hotch sighed. "If you can find someone to go with you, fine. But you still can't be in the field, understood?"
I nodded, scanning the bullpen to see who I could ask to drive with me. My eyes landed on Spencer, who was skimming through the case file that we had just been given.
I had only been at the BAU for a year or so, but they had quickly welcomed me into their small family. Even though I was only 8 months younger than Spencer, I was the new baby of the BAU. At first, I had thought that he didn't like me. To be fair, he had been there much longer than I had. I became defensive, and we spent a few months trying to outdo one another. However, after one of our little spats got in the way of us doing our jobs, we learned to get along.
Once we started hanging out, we quickly became close friends. I had two PhDs to his three, mine in psychology and anthropology. Just like Spencer, I had graduated when I was quite young, and tore through university. To be completely honest, I had developed feelings for him, but I didn't think I would ever act on them.
However. I wouldn't mind spending a little extra time with him, making him a perfect candidate to be my road trip buddy.
"Spencerrr," I called in a singsong-y voice as I approached his desk. He looked up at me, narrowing his eyes.
"What do you want?" He asked playfully.
I smiled hopefully at him. "So. My doctor and Hotch have both forbidden me from air travel, but I still want to go with you guys on the case, so Hotch said if I could find someone to go with me, I could drive to Boston instead of staying here with Garcia. It's not that I don't want to stay here with Penelope; she's very fun, but I'm dying to get back out on cases. And so, I am pretty please asking you in a very nice way if you'll drive with me to Boston?"
"Sure," he replied, turning back to the case file.
"Wait, really?" I didn't think he would agree so easily. I thought, at the very least, that I'd have to bribe him with something.
"Yeah, sounds fun. When do you want to leave?"
I blinked. "Um, ASAP I guess. Get a head start on the jet."
"Okay." He looked back up at me. "Just let me grab my go-bag, and I'll meet you downstairs."
I'll pick you up from your caffeine drought
I got a feeling that you're coming around
"Did you want to stop for a coffee?" I asked once we were on the road.
"Yes please," Spencer answered. "I'll even pay, on the condition that you turn off this music."
I rolled my eyes and hit his shoulder playfully. "I like Haydn just as much as the next guy, but let's be honest here. Symphony #45 isn't exactly the best driving music," I teased. "And so, if I must, I will pay for coffee if it means I can keep listening to the Rolling Stones. I have a feeling you'll come around anyways, Dr Reid. This is basically the definition of classic rock."
"Don't get your hopes up," he countered. "You should consider yourself lucky if I'm still able to tolerate your music after the next eight hours."
I started laughing at the words you spoke
I kind of like you and your stupid jokes
About an hour and a half into the drive, I was already bored.
"Whatcha reading, Spence?" I didn't want to be annoying - I knew he was trying to read, but I was honestly so bored.
"I'm rereading War and Peace, but this time in the original Russian," he replied nonchalantly. Anyone else might have thought that he was bragging, but I knew he didn't mean it like that. One of the things I liked best about Spencer was that even though he knew he was smart, he never saw a reason to stop trying to learn new things.
"Interesting," I nodded. "How would you feel about a conversation with me instead of reading about Bezukhov?"
"Alright," Spencer replied, closing the book and setting it on the dash. "What do you want to talk about?"
"I don't know. I'm just bored. Tell me something about stuff that other people aren't interested in hearing about."
He thought for a moment, and then began to talk animatedly about something called deep reinforcement learning.
"I've been reading research papers about it lately. Despite my aversion to technology, I find it interesting how AIs are being developed. Basically, deep reinforcement learning is a branch of machine learning in which the process of learning is gamified by rewarding the 'agent' when he makes 'good moves', or correct predictions, to be more precise."
I glanced over at one point during his spiel. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he was waving his hands around. He was more talking to himself than to me, but it was adorable.
When he was finished, he asked me something about his little lecture, but I just chuckled.
"I'm going to be completely honest with you, Reid. I understood about 15% of that. Any chance you have a dumb joke that I might understand?"
"I actually have several," he said.
"Hit me."
"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't." He let out a boyish giggle, and looked over at me to make sure that I had understood the joke.
"Ha," I let out a dry chuckle. "Very funny."
"Okay, okay, here's another one: A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. 'No,' he replies. 'I'm travelling light'".
I groaned. "Spence, that's terrible. I'm pretty sure my eight-year-old niece told me that one a few weeks ago."
"Well, I tried my best," he defended. "What else do you want to talk about?"
"I dunno. Teach me more stuff. Something I have a shot at understanding this time, maybe?"
"Okay, just let me think for a minute."
I've learned to love you, honey
And you've got a way with me
It was hour four. We'd stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break and, of course, snacks.
"Why do you insist on buying a whole bunch of iced teas?" Spencer had asked me. "You're just going to have to go pee again in half an hour."
"Iced tea brings me joy, Spencer," I had told him. "Just leave me be."
Now that we were back on the road, it was silent again. Spencer had taken over driving, against my will.
"I'm glad we're friends now," said Spencer, all the sudden.
I looked over at him. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I just mean that I was kind of rude to you when you first joined the team. To be fair, you were not a ray of sunshine either, but I guess I'm just saying that I'm glad we were able to get over that rift. Because I really like being your friend, and spending time with you."
I smiled over at him. "I like being your friend too, Spence. And thanks again for driving up with me so that I could come on the case."
"No problem. Like I said, I like spending time with you."
I blushed and looked back out the window. I had a sudden urge to tell him how I felt - that I liked being friends, but I wanted more. I shook the thought out of my head almost immediately after, reminding myself that he was my coworker, so even if he did feel the same, it probably wouldn't be a good idea anyways.
I got a fever that I cannot shake
The thought of you and the interstate
We only had about two hours left until Boston. The drive had gone by shockingly fast, and I had to admit that I was a little sad it was going to be over soon. I didn't particularly like being in a car for nearly eight hours, but there was something about spending the time with Spencer that just made it that much more enjoyable.
"We should probably start talking about the case," I told Spencer, flipping through the case file. He was driving, but he had already read it and I knew he wouldn't have any trouble recalling anything. "Just so that we have something to offer when we get to the precinct."
"Well, while you were napping earlier, I started to think about a geographical profile. If you get out the map in the file, and there's a red marker in my bag - no, the front pocket - I can tell you what to draw."
I nodded, rooting through his bag. I felt the marker, and grasped it to pull it out. When I brought it out of the pocket, though, a small square tumbled out and onto the floor. I picked it up, smirking.
"What's this, Dr Reid?" I asked, holding up the condom for him to see. "You tend to get a lot of action on cases? I mean, I know I haven't known you that long, but you don't really seem the type," I teased. It really wasn't any of my business, but teasing him about it distracted me from being disappointed about the fact that he might actually carry a condom around for a reason.
"No!" Spencer exclaimed, blushing. "I- no. I don't, Morgan - he gave it to me as a joke, you see, when we went to LA last week, because a few years ago - it doesn't matter. I don't, um, get a lot of action, as you put it. None at all, really. So..." he trailed off.
"I'm just teasing, Spence," I reassured him. I felt kind of bad. "Better safe than sorry, right?" I cringed at myself. What was I even saying? An awkward silence hung over the car for a moment, before I spoke again, deciding to just try and move past it.
"Anyways, the geoprofile - what were you going to tell me to do?
Spencer, presumably glad for the change in topic, began to reel off several possibilities, instructing me where to draw on the map.
When we were finished, I took my phone out and snapped a photo of the map. "I'm going to send this to Hotch. I know we're not far away, but maybe it will be useful to them."
"Good idea," agreed Spencer. "Tell him what I said about a potential fourth location, too."
I nodded, typing into my phone, when I felt the car start to slow down.
"Why are you slowing down?" I asked, looking over at Spencer. Other cars were speeding by us, honking.
"I'm not! Something's wrong with the car, I don't - I can't do anything. I'm just going to pull over," he responded, knuckles turning white around the steering wheel.
He pulled onto the shoulder of the road, coming to a stop. We both got out of the car right away, and went around to the front to open the hood.
I stepped back, waiting for Spencer to diagnose the car, but he stepped back too, looking at me expectantly.
"Well?" I asked. "What's wrong with it?"
"How would I know?" He replied, throwing his hands up.
"Aren't you supposed to be some kind of genius? Don't you know how a car works?"
"I do know how a car works!" Spencer blustered. "At least, theoretically. I'm not a mechanic!"
"Well, neither am I! What are we going to do? We're at least an hour away still."
"Well, we should probably call Hotch first and tell him we're going to be late. Maybe he can send someone out to pick us up?" Spencer suggested.
I nodded, pulling out my phone to call Hotch.
You're wide-eyed and alive
So full of life, I'm mesmerized by your love
After getting off the phone with Hotch, Spencer and I sat down in the ditch. We were both tired of being in the car.
"You know," began Spencer, pulling at the grass on either side of him. "When you started at the BAU, it wasn't that I didn't like you. I was a little bit intimidated by you, to be honest."
"Really?" I asked, squinting at him in the sun. "Why?"
He looked down at his lap, blushing. "Well, you're smart, for one. Enough to call my bluff on things, which no one really ever does, even if they should. Plus, people like you. I mean, some people like me, but I tend to come off very awkwardly, socially, so lots of people think I'm weird. You - you're smart, but you're also really good with people. And to top that off, you're a very, um, attractive individual." He mumbled the last part, somehow turning even redder.
Spencer thought I was attractive? Maybe now was as good a time as any to tell him how I felt. We would be here for at least another hour, would it really do any harm? Either he feels the same way, and it's great, or he doesn't and we just sit here awkwardly and then get over it.
"Spencer, I..." I took a deep breath. "You're attractive too, you know. I mean, I find you attractive. I'm attracted to you." I was quickly losing my train of thought. My mouth was dry and my heart felt like it was beating in my throat. I just had to spit it out.
"I really like you, Spencer. As more than a friend." I looked away as I said it, not wanting to see his reaction. Just in case.
"Y/n?" He said my name softly, placing a hand under my chin and turning my head gently so I was looking at him. His eyes were so pretty in the sunlight - the way the light caught them, they were a deep honey colour. I had always liked his eyes. They were always full of curiosity and inquisitiveness, but above all else, they were kind.
"I really like you, too, y/n," he finally said, smiling. "Do you really think I would have made the decision to drive for eight hours if I didn't? I hate driving. But, I like you more than I hate driving, and-"
I cut his rambling off, leaning forward to close the space between us and pressing my lips against his. Just before I was about to pull away, Spencer began to move his lips against mine, deepening the kiss. My hand snaked up to the nape of his neck, grasping a few of the small curls there.
After a moment, we finally pulled away.
Let's fall in love and never give it up
"Do you think I could maybe take you on a date when we get back?" Spencer asked.
"Of course, silly boy," I replied, caressing his cheek. "I'd love nothing more."
AN: It’s.. sad? First ever written short story! I’d like to give a special thanks to @spencereidsupremacy for giving me amazing feedback as well as convincing me to post this I seriously couldn't thank you enough!
Summary: Reader is a new member to the team. At first it was okay that everyone was off with the new, unknowing dynamic. But as the year went on reader felt more like a hinder than a team member.
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1.5k
Content Warnings: sad, reader isn’t accepted, no happy ending
AN: The long awaited part 2. I’m not sure if i like it but I am really proud of it. It is definitely longer than expected! Also not technically edited. I only looked through it once.
Summary: When the team notices your vacant desk they all come to realize their faults in your leave. They plan to make it up to you the best way possible.
Genre: Slight Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 2.7k
Content Warnings: angst if you squint, team realizing their wrongs, happy ending
Voiceless Words [Spencer Reid x ASL Interpreter! Reader]
Warnings: None
Fluff, PG-13
Disclaimer: I'm a member of the Deaf community (I'm a CODA which is a child of Deaf adults). I'm fluent in ASL, and I tried to write this as accurate to how ASL would be written. This is mainly a character study for Spencer since I'm still learning to write him, so please forgive any OOC-ness. Thanks! :)
Summary: A Deaf child witness comes into play, but none of the team can communicate with her; so the BAU calls upon Y/N L/N, an American Sign Language interpreter. Spencer quickly finds that admiration comes in different forms.
Word Count: 3.1 k
MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN! PLEASE CLICK HERE TO REQUEST!
https://ray-likes-reid.tumblr.com/ask
Arriving at the police precinct where Spencer would spend hours of his time was always the most exciting, but also most exhausting part of his job. The beginnings of solving a case to help save potential lives was always the reasoning the agent told himself in order to justify all the hard hours he dedicated to his work. Of course, Spencer always dreaded the late nights he’d have to spend in (usually) dingy police stations, fueled by at least three cups of coffee for him to get through the case. It was impossible to get a good night’s sleep while on a case, even after half a decade working as a profiler.
On a breezy late September case, Spencer was leaning over the round coffee-stained table, down at the faces of the victims that some sick human being murdered. As he was studying the stab wounds the women had, JJ walked into the room and placed another photo on the table. “Who’s this?” He asked his colleague, who let out a long sad sigh. “Dorothy Guilding, 23, was kidnapped from her backyard this morning. She was reported missing by her mother, her twelve year old sister witnessed the crime-but.” The blonde agent paused, making Spencer look up from his bent over position over the table. “But?” He repeated, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion
“She’s Deaf.” JJ informed, crossing her arms, as she did so when she was deep in thought. “She’s waiting to be questioned, but no one in the department knows sign language, nor does she know how to lipread.” She said sadly, making Spencer bite down on his lip in thought. “Why can’t her mother interpret?” He brought up. “I know normally we like to question family separately, but this scenario is different.” One of his hands moved to brush his gentle brown hair behind his ear. “Her mother is in another state for business, she was only able to report Dorothy as missing since they were supposed to have a phone call around lunchtime.”
Spencer slowly nodded, picking up the photo of Dorothy, her brown eyes full of life and joy as she smiled into the camera. He always had a drive to learn American Sign Language, 250,000-500,000+ people in the United States and Canada used the language, slowly becoming more popular in many communities. The young doctor quickly learned when he was 20 that learning ASL was different from learning a verbal language. While ASL was indeed a language, it was so different from the spoken and written languages he was used to casually picking up through books or movies.
“I’ll try communicating with her.” He finally said, catching JJ by surprise based on her widening eyes. “Spence? Really?” Her face relaxed within moments as she made connections in her brain. “Of course, out of all of us you’re the best option.” She rested her hand on Spencer’s shoulder. The male agent nodded, straightening his tie as he started to collect himself. “I’ll go try to speak to her now.” With that, he and JJ made their way over to a small glass room; where a girl with dark brown hair with tears streaming down her cheeks sat.
Slowly, gently, Spencer sat down in the seat in front of her. The preteen looked up at him, pointing to her ears and shaking her head. Spencer gave her a small smile and nodded. The girl relaxed a bit, only enough to wipe some tears from her face, before gesturing with her hands. “Write?” She signed, which the profiler was able to understand based on context clues. He nodded, pulling out a paper and pen from his satchel. Quickly, he scribbled a question on the notepad.
“What’s your name?”
He wrote, before handing the paper back to the girl. She looked down at the notebook, her lower lip trembling as small sobs continued to escape from her mouth. With a shaky hand, she wrote her response.
“Jenny.”
Spencer smiled when he saw her response, giving her a thumbs up before writing down the second question.
“Thank you Jenny. Do you know what happened to your sister, Dorothy?”
When Jenny read this question, her tears started to flow down her face like a waterfall. Her hands began to shake as she sobbed louder. She tried to write down her answer on the notepad, but ended up dropping the items as she brought her hands to her face. Spencer frowned sympathetically, it was hard enough for anyone to share what happened to their loved ones, and even harder to write it.
Slowly, he rose to his feet, and exited the room to find JJ waiting right by the door. “Could we get an interpreter?” He asked softly, who pursed her lips. “I think I’d be able to do that. I’ll call a nearby interpreting agency and see if we can get one.” Right before JJ was about to walk away, Jenny tapped at the glass and rested the notepad on the window.
“Interpreter, Y/N L/N.”
Spencer smiled, she was a smart girl. “I guess she figured out what I was going to do.” He commented, which also made JJ smile. “I’ll contact her then, could you stay with her for a bit? Just so she isn’t alone for long?” The blue-eyed profiler asked Spencer, her eyes soft with sad sympathy. “I feel awful for leaving her alone so much.” She pulled out her phone and started to dial Garcia’s number. “Gotcha.” The doctor responded, returning back into the room with Jenny.
As Spencer sat in the room with her, he saw the rest of his team return, from either the ME’s office or the dump sites. Hotch briefly paused in front of JJ, who gestured over to Jenny, the stoic man nodded before making his way back into the room where Spencer was earlier. Slowly, using the limited knowledge he had, he slowly fingerspelled out a question to Jenny. “D-O Y-O-U N-E-E-D A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G?” This got a flash of a small smile from the black-haired child, who shaikly responded. “Drink, please.” Another word the agent could understand using context.
By the time he got a small cup of water for Jenny, JJ stopped him in the hallway. “Miss L/N is on her way, she said she’ll be here in 20. She’s good friends with Dorothy so she may be able to give us insight too.” She reported, making Spencer nod. “Good.” He opened the door to the room Jenny was staying in and gave her the beverage. “She’s been crying for hours, I’m sure without the communication barrier she would’ve asked for water sooner.” Spencer murmured to JJ, who nodded in agreement.
Twenty minutes passed, and a [hight] woman breathlessly walked into the precinct. She wore formal black attire, which was a black blouse, with a black pencil skirt and tights. Her hair was also out of her face as a police officer gestured over to the FBI agents. Spencer assumed this woman was Y//N L/N, the ASL interpreter. “Oh my god, is Jenny okay?” Were the first words that left her mouth, still out of breath. It didn’t take a profiler to assume that she ran in from her car. “Yes, she’s in this room.” JJ said gently, guiding the H/C woman into the glass room were Jenny sat.
Spencer followed suit, JJ was always better when it came to gentle guidance, something he still struggled with sometimes. As soon as Y/N entered the room, she walked over the 12-year-old and crouched down to her level. “Are you alright?” The interpreter asked, Jenny sniffled and shook her head. “I’m scared” She responded, making Y/N reach out and squeeze the girl’s shoulder’s emphatically.
“Are you both okay if we ask some questions?” Spencer asked softly, and within seconds Y/N relayed the message over to Jenny who nodded. The profiler couldn’t deny the small butterflies he got in his stomach, the way the interpreter’s hands glided through the air to communicate amazed him. “Alright, do you remember what the person who took your sister looked like?” He asked, maintaining eye contact with Jenny as he spoke.
“I do.” Y/N translated Jenny’s words. “He was tall, white, older looking. He didn’t notice me.” She continued as the Deaf girl signed. Spencer nodded, which gave Jenny the confidence to continue through her tears. “He was wearing a light blue shirt, it looked stained with oil.He was also wearing old boots coated in dried mud.” Jenny’s hands were still shaky as she signed, but it was a lot easier for her to process her thoughts without having to write them down on paper.
“Perfect.” Spencer’s voice was light and encouraging, giving Jenny a warm smile. “Did you know him?” He asked, she sniffled and shook her head. “No.” She responded. “Alright. Do you remember what you and Dorothy were doing in the backyard before she was taken?” The profiler asked. Y/N signed the words to the child, who’s lower lip trembled with a sad whimper. “We were setting things up for a picnic, we always had backyard picnics when mom left for business.” Y/N’s voice was gentle, as she interpreted Jenny’s words.
Spencer crossed his legs as he listened to Y/N translate Jenny’s story. Her hands moved in a way that was still shaken, but clear in what she wanted to say. She explained that she briefly stepped inside to grab a pitcher of lemonade, when when she came back out she saw the unsub dragging her sister out the backyard gate. He didn’t see her, due to the angles of the bushes in the yard. The conversation went by smoothly, and pretty soon Jenny was getting ready to go back home.
Y/N walked over to Spencer, gently pulling him aside. “Are you just going to, send her home? Alone?” She asked with wide, E/C eyes full of concern. “No. Of course not.” The young doctor responded, a kind smile on his face. “She is staying with her grandmother, we wouldn’t make her stay alone. Her mother is also trying to find a flight back here from across the country.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke. Y/N nodded, her smile was relieved. “Thank God, thank you.” She expressed, her body language beginning to relax. .
“I-I think it’s really cool you use American Sign Language.” The FBI agent blurted with a pink face, catching the interpreter off guard. “Oh! Well, being a profiler for the FBI is pretty cool too.” Y/N chirped, making Spencer tug at his fingers nervously. “You’re awfully young looking to be a profiler.” She added on, studying his face a bit more. “I joined the FBI when I was 22.” He explained with an intelligent grin. “I got three pHDs and got through the FBI training fairly quickly.” The man shrugged, as if it was easy for him to do so. “Three pHDs?” Y/N parroted with a surprised tone.
“Yeah, he’ll tell you alllllll about it.” A deep, feminine voice teased from behind them, making the E/C girl spin around. A woman with dark black hair, which reached her shoulders and pale skin waved at her. “Agent Prentiss, is it alright if we ask you to stick around here for a bit? Just in case we need to ask Jenny more questions?” She asked after shaking Y/N’s hand. “Of course.” The interpreter responded with a dazed expression. She turned to look back at Spencer, who’s golden eyes never really left her. “You guys are nothing like the FBI in the shows I watch, normally they’re all mean and scary.”
This earned a good natured chuckle from the two agents, who both shook their heads. “Oh we can be scary sometimes, depending on who we’re talking to.” Emily joked with a wide, pearly white smile. Spencer gave her a confused expression, furrowing his brows. “I don’t think I’m ever scared anyone.” He mumbled, earning a small laugh from Y/N. “I’m sure you can be scary sometimes.” She chimed kindly, adjusting the bag strap over her shoulder. His cheeks heated into a slight blush. “Thanks.” He smiled at the woman, who smiled back.
Y/N’s watch beeping alerted the three people in the room, she glanced at it and blanched. “Oh shit, I’m late for my next appointment!” She turned her alarm off and looking back at the two agents. “We appreciate your help.” Spencer spoke up first, followed by Emily. “We’ll contact you if we need anything.” She added. “Awesome, see you guys.” Y/N lifted her hand in an awkward wave, before exiting the building.
As soon as the woman left, Spencer started to move his hands, grabbing Emily’s attention. “Did you pick up on sign language that fast?” Her eyes widened in shock, but quickly snorted. “Of course you did.” The black-haired agent chuckled as her co-worker nodded. “It’s like picking up any language, just witnessing someone who is fluent or semi-fluent use it. It’s not too hard to pick up based on context.” He explained, his hands making small gestures as he spoke. Emily just nodded along with a wide smile.
The next few days of the case went by easily, it wasn’t hard to track the unsub down, based on the information they got from Jenny and using Garcia’s international database. Spencer was a part of the unsub’s takedown, helping Morgan perform the arrest of Kenny Jenkins. It went down smoothly, but he had one more thing to do before he left the state.
He wanted to see Y/N again.
Ever since they called her in to interpret, Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about her. At first he thought he was just impressed by her usage of American Sign Language, but slowly this impression turned into a different type of admiration. He also found her extremely beautiful. With H/C hair, bright E/C eyes, and S/C skin that made her seem like she was glowing. To say he hadn’t fallen head-over-heels was a bit of an understatement.
As they were cleaning up the police precinct, Morgan caught a distinct sparkle in his younger colleague’s eye. He smirked, and approached Spencer with a shit eating grin. “So, who caught your eye, pretty boy?” Derek teased, whisking the doctor away from his thoughts. “N-no one!” He squeaked, his voice lifting an octave. A clear and obvious sign that he was lying; even to non-profilers. “I bet it was Y/N.” Emily added, walking over to them, and chucking at Spencer’s betrayed expression.
“Y/N? The ASL interpreter?” Derek turned back to Spencer, who nervously licked his lower lip as he avoided the other man’s eyes. “Are you going to give her a call?” The muscular agent asked, patting the nervous Spencer a pat on the shoulder. “I can’t just do that.” He murmured in response, still avoiding Morgan’s eyes. “It’s unprofessional.”
“Unprofessional?” Derek’s eyebrows flew up his forehead, before snorting. “Reid, she wasn’t a victim or an unsub. You’re allowed to ask for her number.” He encouraged, rubbing his shoulder gently. Spencer sighed heavily, putting the last file into his leather messenger bag before rubbing one of his eyes. “The chances of us seeing each other again is 1/329.5 million.” The statistics sounded bleak, making his heart sink a little down into his stomach. “Exactly pretty boy, which is why you should give her a call. I’m sure Hotch would let us stay another night. This case just wrapped up.” Morgan continued, trying to install confidence into his friend’s 187 brain.
Spencer nodded slowly, the cogs churning in his skull. Without another word, he scurried out of the precinct, right as JJ and Hotch exited the police chief’s office. “What’s that about?” The dark haired man asked Morgan, who just gave his boss a smug smile. “Pretty boy is going to swing.” He boasted simply, giving Emily a fist bump before continuing to pack up files.
While outside the precinct, Spencer fished out a special business card he was handed from JJ. She passed out Y/N’s card right after she left, so anyone on the team could contact her if needed. Clumsily, his fingers typed out her number, before bringing his flip phone to his ear. Even though it was late, almost 11:55, the woman answered.
“Hello?” She asked, sounding a bit sleepy. “Hi.” Spencer breathed, his heart felt warm just by hearing her voice. A feeling he hadn’t felt for a while. “This is Doctor Spencer Reid of the FBI, I just wanted to inform you that Kenny Jenkins has been arrested.” He stammered out, feeling like confessing that he had a crush on her was a bit much to say automatically. A relieved sigh emitted from the other side of the line. “Thank God. Thank you.” She breathed. A moment of silence passed between the two, making Spencer’s head pound.
“I-uh, was just wondering, if you wanted to meet up again? Sometime later?” He said slowly, hesitantly. “I just thought you were gorgeous.” Spencer paused to clear his throat with a nervous cough. “Me?” Y/N’s voice didn’t sound alarmed, or fearful, just shocked. The agent nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I was just enamored by your use of American Sign Language, I-I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I had to say something before we left.” He confessed quickly, pushing out the words before he clamped his mouth shut.
A silence passed, before Y/N’s giggle sounded through the phone. “Doctor Reid, I’d love to go out with you.” The smile she had could be heard through the phone’s speaker. “What time are you leaving?” She asked. Spencer paused, he knew realistically it would be early the next morning. He could get away with staying an extra day, right? “Tomorrow afternoon.” His response was brief, he’d apologize to Hotch later.
“Wanna get coffee tomorrow then?” Y/N asked gleefully, Spencer couldn’t high the happy sigh that escaped from his lungs and through his lips. “I would love to.” He responded, his heart pounding in his chest. “It’s a date then! Goodnight Doctor Reid.” The two said their goodbyes and hung up. Right as the call ended, the BAU exited out of the doors and spotted their teammate.
“How’d it go?” Hotch asked, a hint of a smile behind his stern lips. Spencer’s ears turned pink as he felt the blood rise to his face. “Good.” He managed to say with a level of confidence. “I’ll be leaving on a seperate flight tomorrow.” The doctor gave his boss an anxious smile, who simply nodded. “No problem Reid. The rest of us are leaving at 8am sharp tomorrow.” He gestured to the rest of the team. “We’ll see you later.” With that, Hotch started to walk to one of the black SUVs. Derek patted Spencer’s shoulders and dragged him to one of the other cars; praising him on the way.
Spencer Reid couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning...
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A/N - on the twelth and FINAL day of shipmas fortheloveofcriminalminds gave to me…Spencer x Reader Fluff! Hope you guys enjoyed them, I had a lot of fun writing these! Find my Shipmas masterlist here. Find my full masterlist here.
My taglists are open for Spencer x Reader and all works so let me know if you want to be added. Requests are also open.
Requested: Yes l No l Kind of ?
Idea came from @andiebeaword as I was struggling to come up with something that wasn't either angsty or smutty! - "What about one where they're dating, but haven't kissed yet, and every time reader tries, for some bizarre reason, Spencer keeps dodging them. reader thinks he's trying a subtle way to say he doesn't want to kiss when in reality, he just doesn't want reader to think he's a bad kisser" - Set circa s15, some spoilers for the last 2 episodes.
CW: none that I can think of! Just lusting after Spencer's lips. Some talks of Spencer's insecurites and lack of experience.
Plot: In which all the reader wants in the world is to feel Spencer's lips on hers.
WC: 2.4K
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Spencer Reid’s lips were the kind they would have written poetry about.
They were plump, sinfully so, the first time you’d met him several years ago when you joined the team it was the first thing you’d noticed about him. How it didn’t seem fair for him have had lips such as these bestowed upon him. He had the most kissable lips you’d ever seen in your life.
If you were a writer and not a profiler, you may well have tried to write a poem about them. But alas, a wordsmith you were not. So you had to make do with just staring at them every available opportunity you got.
When he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask you on a date after six years of working together you were thrilled to say the least. Finally, after all that time imaging what those lips would feel like, you might actually get to see for yourself.
For your first date Spencer took for you dinner at a fancy restaurant. Despite the fact you had known each other so long, the date was awkward.
Usually, you never struggled to find things to talk to Spencer about. Most of the time while the rest of the team were sleeping on the jet the two of you stayed up chatting aimlessly between you.
But somehow when the word date was used, it made everything uncomfortable between the two of you.
The night started as a long, drawn out silence but thankfully you both eased into it and by the time your main courses came you were able to chat a little more freely.
You’d had dinner together countless times over the years. But that was just as friends. Not as two people who were clearly attracted to one another even though deep down that’s what you’d always been.
Spencer walked you home after dinner. It was a mild night and you didn’t live too far from the restaurant so you thought the walk would be nice.
The first few blocks you fell back into that uncomfortable silence but thankfully you found your voices again.
Despite everything, you’d had a great time and you’d hoped Spencer had too.
As you stood awkwardly on the sidewalk outside your apartment you were desperate for him to kiss you. He wasn’t quite so shy and dorky as he had been when you first met so you’d thought he might make the first move.
He did not.
“Goodnight Y/N. I’ll see you Monday.” He offered you one of his shy waves.
No, this would not do. You’d been dreaming about those lips too long. It was time to do something about it.
You moved in close, your eyes closing as you neared his lips.
But what met your lips wasn’t his own. You felt prickly skin and your eyes shot open to see her had turned his head and your lips had landed on his stubble grazed face.
“Uhm…” you stepped back feeling incredibly uncomfortable. “Goodnight then I guess.”
You chalked it up to shyness. You guessed thirty plus years of insecurities couldn’t be washed away in a three month prison stint.
***
The next time an opportunity presented itself to steal a kiss from Spencer was a few weeks later.
You were out of town on a case and he’d invited you to his room to watch Doctor Who. You’d thought or maybe hoped it was just an excuse to get you alone in his room. You were surprised to say the least when he actually wanted to watch Doctor Who.
You sat side by side on his bed watching the small hotel TV. You dared to shuffle your hand closer until your fingers brushed and eventually you’d taken the plunge and entwined your fingers.
He didn’t seem to mind, he just gave your hand a firm squeeze as he held it.
About half way through the episode you decided to go for the kiss. You were desperate to feel those lips on yours and you hoped whatever awkwardness he felt on your date had since washed away.
You turned to face him, momentarily breathless at how beautiful he was.
“Spence,” you whispered prompting him to turn and face you.
He had a dopey half smile on those lips as he looked at you. You moved quickly, closing the space ready to feel those lips.
But once again you were met with his stubbly cheek.
You tried to tell yourself he was shy. That’s all it was. It’s not that he didn’t want to kiss you. It couldn’t be, right?
***
You’d started to think maybe Spencer had changed his mind about the two of you dating. It had been several weeks since your first date and although you’d been busy with back to back cases there had been time if he’d really wanted to take you out again.
It was nearly a month after your first date he finally asked you on a second. You’d jumped at the opportunity.
Spencer took you to the Smithsonian, you’d walked around hand in hand with Spencer telling you all kinds of facts and statistics the institution didn’t share.
You hung off his every word, mesmerised by the way his lips moved as he talked and wanting to feel them on yours with a white hot passion.
He took you for coffee after and you fell into comfortable conversation. But you couldn’t keep your eyes off those goddamn lips of his.
As you stepped out of the coffee shop hand in hand you made a quick move to place a chaste kiss on his lips as he was in the middle of telling you a story about his mom. You thought if you were fast enough he wouldn’t even see it coming and you could just get this awkward air out of the way.
You leant in fast, and as your lips were about to collide Spencer side stepped, turning to face the window of the coffee shop.
You stumbled, correcting yourself before you fell face first on the sidewalk.
“I didn’t know they had donuts! Now I want a donut.” He chuckled and suddenly he was heading back inside.
“Goddamnit Spencer.” You groaned under your breath.
By now you were starting to think he just didn’t like you. Why else would he keep dodging your attempts at kissing him?
You felt downtrodden. You felt insecure. Why on Earth had he asked you out if he didn’t want to kiss you?
***
Six dates in and all you’d done still was hold hands. You really didn’t get him. He kept asking you out but never seemed interested in doing anything other than hand holding.
You liked Spencer, a lot, but you were not willing to be in a relationship where there was no kind of intimacy.
But that was all pushed to the back of your mind when you and JJ found Spencer passed out in his apartment.
He’d been involved in an explosion thanks to the psychopath Everett Lynch. He was late for work the following day which was really unlike Spencer so you and JJ went to check on him. That’s when you’d found him.
While the rest of the team worked on finding Lynch, you stayed vigil at his bedside.
When he’d finally woken up tears streamed down your face and you’d be up like a shot.
“Oh my god Spence,” you sobbed. “I thought I was going to lose you.” You leant in to kiss his chapped lips.
He rolled his head to the side on the pillow, once again your lips meeting stubbly skin.
“I’m really thirsty.” He croaked, seemingly ignoring your actions.
You swallowed your pride with a sigh.
“I’ll get you some water Spence.” And with your tail between your legs you left the room in search of hydration.
***
After that you’d decided no more. You were fed up feeling a fool every time you tried to make a move on him only to be shot down.
So you decided you wouldn’t bother anymore.
Since he left hospital the two of you still hung out but it was less frequent as usual and the word date was never used again.
One night, it came to a head.
You were in Spencer’s apartment watching some foreign film which you were struggling to comprehend despite the subtitles.
Your mind was whirring, lost down a rabbit hole of thoughts of you and Spencer. You were so preoccupied in your own head you didn’t even notice when Spencer scooted closer to you or put his arm around your shoulders.
“Y/N?” He whispered your name, snapping you out of the abyss.
“Hmm?” You turned to face him.
His tongue glided over his bottom lip and his eyes were trained on your lips.
The next few seconds happened in slow motion. Spencer started edging closer to you, his eyes fluttering closed and his lips pursed.
And you turned your head to face the TV, allowing his lips to hit your cheek the way yours had to him so many times.
He made a strange noise that sounded halfway between a sigh and a groan. You tried to pretend you were focused on the TV. You felt his eyes on the side of your face and you tried to ignore it.
After a few minutes Spencer paused the film, the room falling silent. You swallowed a lump in your throat and slowly turned to face him.
“Why’d you stop the film?” you hoped your voice didn’t sound as shaky as you thought it did.
“I think we need to talk.” Spencer chewed his lip. “I think I need to explain why I’ve been so...weird.”
“Spencer, trust me when I say you being weird is not an unusual thing.” you tried to lighten the mood.
“Weirder than usual then.” he was fidgeting in his seat, wringing his hands together in his lap.
“I hadn’t noticed.” you lied.
“Yes you have.” he told you.
“Look Spence,” you sighed. “If you don’t want to kiss me I get it. But why would you ask me out if that’s not what you wanted?” the words spilled out of your mouth.
He nodded his understanding at your words, running one hand through his messy locks.
“I do want to kiss you Y/N.” his cheeks stained red with embarrassment. “I’ve always wanted to kiss you, since the first time I met you. Jeez, kissing is just the tip of the iceberg of things I want to do with you.” his blush deepened.
Your chest tightened at his words, a twinge passing between your legs.
“You uhm...you have a funny way of showing it.” your voice was breathy. You didn’t mean it to be.
“I know.” he nodded, gnawing his bottom lip. “I freaked myself out. I got in my head and I panicked and I didn’t know how to deal with that. So I dealt with it really, really badly and I’m sorry.”
“What were you freaking out about Spence?”
He sighed heavily, the blush still straining his cheeks.
“It took me six years to finally work up the courage to ask you out.” he laughed shyly. “But when I finally did, I was terrified I wouldn’t be good enough.”
Your face dropped, sadness in your eyes.
“Spencer,” you reached for him and took hold of his hand. It was sweating and shaking.
He shook his head sadly, telling you not to try and convince him otherwise.
“Y/N, I am not...not so great with women in case you’d never picked up on that.” he chuckled again, but again it was a shy sound. “I don’t ha-have...so much ex-experience.” he swallowed hard. “There have only been...a few...women. Not enough to make me an...ex-expert in any sense.” he swallowed again. “I just wanted to be...good...for you.”
“Oh Spencer,” you felt tears in your eyes. You had no idea he’d been going through this mental turmoil. “Spencer I don’t care. I’ve wanted you for six years. Trust me, there is no way in hell you will not be good enough. I am crazy about you Spence, and all I want in the whole right now is to kiss you. I have waited too long to know what those lips would-”
He cut you off when his lips suddenly crashed against yours.
You let out a small whimper as those plump lips of his finally kissed you. They felt better than your wildest imagination.
The whimper allowed Spencer to slide his tongue in your mouth. He held your face in his large hands, exploring your mouth with fervor.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you.
It was without a doubt the single most magical experience of your life. Nothing could have prepared you for how good his kiss would be.
It sent goosebumps flaring across your skin, making your chest tighten with lust.
It made you wet between your legs.
Maybe you should take a writing class because these lips, this kiss, definitely deserved poems written about them.
Your whole body felt as though it were on fire, every nerve ending in your body tingling with desire.
When the kiss ended you both gasped for air, trying to satiate your now empty lungs.
Spencer’s cheeks stained red again as he waited for your reaction shyly.
“I hope that was o-ok.” He stuttered a little.
You couldn’t help the large smile that broke out across your face.
“Spencer Reid, that was more than ok. It was perfect.”
His blush deepened and he looked away from you briefly before finding your eyes once more.
“Good.” He swallowed. “Because there’s a lot more I want to do with you Y/N.”
His words made you shudder.
“Now?” You swallowed, feeling oddly nervous.
“Right now.” He nodded before taking your face in his hands and kissing you again.
He was going to show exactly what his lips could do. And those poems practically wrote themselves between the sheets.
Y/N stared into the bathroom mirror running her fingers through her hair for the millionth time. She frowned as her curls failed to be tamed springing right back up no matter how many times she tried to flatten them.
Her roommate had tried to encourage her to invest in a hair straightener, but Y/N had already done that song and dance. She’d straighten her wild curls only to have them pop right back up by the nights end.
Her hair was unmanageable, and she was just going to have to learn to live with it.
She was broken out of obsessing over her hair as a hesitant knock sounded at the bathroom door. His voice sounded out on the other side of the door; the anxiety he felt clear as day as he spoke. “Are..are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine Spence…I’ll be out in a second.” She blurted out hoping she sounded more confident than she actually felt.
This wasn’t a big deal she tried to reassure herself, but a voice in the back of her brain was fast to correct her. Of course this was a big deal, how could she even try to pretend that this wasn’t a massive deal?
When Spencer Reid had first approached her with this she’d been dumbfounded. She’d not been expecting this, not from him.
He had a problem, one only he trusted her to help him with.
At twenty one years old Spencer Reid was still a virgin, and there was only one person on this planet he trusted to help him amend this issue.
It was embarrassing he’d exclaimed. He was certain most guys his age had already lost it by now. It was as though his virginity was a beast clawing around inside of him begging to be released. At one point in his life he’d hoped he’d fall in love and have his first time with a girlfriend, but as time had gone on it had become pretty clear to him that no girl wanted to date him. He was eternally single. He’d never even been kissed or had a date. It was pathetic. He needed do something. He’d debated all the ways he could lose his virginity. He’d seriously considered a one night stand but anytime he thought about it his brain taunted him with the latest statistics surrounding STDs in the Virginia area.
He had to do something and he was running out of options.
He wanted to bite the bullet and lose his virginity. There was only one solution to his problem; Y/N.
Y/N had stared at him trying hard not to let her jaw drop as she spoke. “You…you want me to? Uh I mean..you want me to sleep with you?”
Reid had rolled his eyes turning to the Joy Division poster tacked up on Y/N’s bedroom wall; Love Will Tear Us Apart emblazoned along the black and white design. Y/N had always had a flair for the dramatic.
She expressed that flair for dramatic with her appearance. Her nails were painted black and her eyes were painted with black liquid eyeliner a perfect cat-eye. She’d gotten her nostril pierced the year before dragging Reid along with her he feeling squeamish as he watched the needle pierce her skin blood streaming from the wound.
Y/N had always been more willing to take a risk than Spencer Reid ever would. She was the brave one, the one willing to step outside her comfort zone and experiment. That was why he needed her to do this for him.
Reid couldn’t meet her eyes as he spoke. “You’re the only one I trust…and ya know…girls aren’t exactly lining up to have sex with a guy who can recite War and Peace word for word by memory. I just…I want to, cross this bridge so to speak. So I can just move on with my life without this hanging over me. I know it’s a lot to ask and I don’t want to make you feel used…I just, I don’t know who else to ask. I know you’ve ya know…”
“You know I’ve lost mine.” Y/N replied her stomach in knots. He wanted her to take his virginity?
Reid shifted back in place his heart pounding in his chest. He dared to connect his eyes with her his stomach still in tight furled little knots. “It won’t change anything between us…You’re still going to be my best friend. I mean I know…I know it’s a lot to ask, but I don’t trust anyone like I trust you.”
Y/N let out a heavy sigh her heart melting at this statement. She nodded her head her own stomach beginning to knot up. “I don’t trust anyone the way I trust you either Spencer…Okay, yeah. I’ll do it. You’re right, it won’t change things between us.”
That was how it had been decided, Y/N would take Spencer Reid’s virginity that weekend. She’d have her apartment all to herself her roommate working a night shift on the weekend. That would give Spencer and her both ample time to get down to business.
It was a huge responsibility, doing this for him, being trusted to do this for him. This was all Y/N could think as she continued to study her reflection in the mirror.
She’d never imagined their friendship would lead to this.
Y/N had been Reid’s best friend since they were kids. She had often been his only friend on this planet.
His home-life was such a mess after all. Y/N had been the one source of stability in his life for so long.
They’d met when Reid had begun tutoring Y/N’s older brother in math. They’d been kids then, Reid nine and Y/N eight. His high IQ had made him perfectly capable of being the one to help her fourteen year old brother bring his C up to an A in math. They’d been neighbors after all. So he wouldn’t have to travel far and he could use the extra money.
Though her brother had been embarrassed about the entire situation, Reid had spent enough time in Y/N’s household for a friendship to develop.
Reid could still remember how he’d met her for the first time. She’d peered into the kitchen curious about the young boy tutoring her big brother. He’d noticed her curls first; a head full of blonde curls wild as can be despite her mother’s best attempts to tame them with a pink ribbon.
She’d given him a shy wave and he’d returned it. After Reid finished tutoring her brother for the day Y/N had asked him to play Monopoly. It was one of the rare times someone had asked Spencer Reid to play.
They’d never looked back after that day. She’d been his everything in many ways; his confidant when his mom was in the midst of a deep episode her schizophrenia making her unstable most of the time. The person he turned to when one of the kids at the high school he was attending decided that they didn’t like the prodigy and let him know it with a fist or a kick.
When things got too hectic at home Reid went to Y/N’s house where he could play board games and just be a kid for a little while, not the gifted child genius, not the caretaker to his mom, not the weirdo that got beat up by high school kids. He could just be Spencer Reid a kid who liked to drink grape soda and eat cheese pizza while he hung out and played Monopoly and Clue in his best friend’s basement.
They’d maintained their friendship as Reid had left at fourteen to attend college, his genius IQ allowing him to succeed far beyond his peers.
When he’d come back from school their friendship had continued as Reid continued to take classes online. When he was recruited to join the FBI, Y/N had been the first one he’d told.
When he’d had to make the harrowing decision to have his mentally ill mother committed to a sanitarium at eighteen years old, Y/N had been there to hold him while he cried on her shoulder.
When he’d left for the FBI academy in Quantico, Y/N had surprised him showing him an acceptance letter to a university near by. She’d gotten into the drama program. She wasn’t going to let him go to Virginia all by himself.
She’d gotten an apartment off campus and Reid had found himself spending time there more often than not.
He was in the FBI academy learning everything he could to save the world someday. Y/N was studying drama at her university, starring in plays and working part time at a diner when she wasn’t swamped with schoolwork.
Reid was always in the front row at her plays, always there with flowers for her; pink tulips her favorite. Her friends teased her of course, but she’d always ignored it. They didn’t understand Reid and she, they didn’t understand their relationship.
They’d hung out a lot despite their different paths in life. Their board game nights had continued despite their differing schedules. They still tried hard to make time for one another.
Y/N took another deep breath as she gave herself a final once over in the mirror. It was now or never.
She opened the bathroom door not shocked to see Reid standing there shifting his weight back and forth his hands clasped together. It was obvious he’d been wringing his hands together to alleviate his anxiety as he waited for her.
He’d already ditched his pants and his plaid button down shirt. He stood in front of her barefoot in a pair of blue boxers and a white undershirt. He felt so exposed, he had no idea how he was going to feel in a moment when he was nude.
Y/N gave him a small smile hoping he couldn’t see just how terrified she was. She’d only done this a couple of times and she’d never really been the dominate one when it came to sex.
He trusted her, she reminded herself. He trusted her and she was going to do her best to make this pleasurable for him.
She took his hand in hers the action making him jump ever so slightly it obvious he was a bundle of anxious nerves.
She spoke hoping she sounded confident. “Let’s go to the bedroom, yeah?”
“Okay.” Reid replied allowing her to lead the way though he knew the way to her bedroom.
He’d spent many evenings there helping Y/N study for some basic core course she complained through. She’d groan as he forced her to continue studying. “I’m going to be an actress Spence, I don’t think there’s going to be a point in my theater career where they ask me if I know anything about college algebra or how to write a decent essay.”
He’d always shush her complaining and coax her back to her homework.
Y/N had taken care to light a couple of candles in the room giving it a soft glow. Even if this was just a means to end between two friends she didn’t see why she should at least try to set some kind of mood.
She stopped in front of the bed turning to face Reid her voice soft having to say it. “You’re sure about this?”
Reid nodded his head staring back down at her his heart beating so fast he was almost sure it’d pop out his chest and take off beating down the hall. “I’m sure. I trust you.”
Y/N took action leaning up her lips sliding across his experimentally. Reid stood there a bit lost as what to do Y/N being the one who dominated the kisses. He kept his lips still unsure of what exactly he should be doing. He felt panic begin to swirl up in him. Oh god, this was a disaster, he was a disaster.
She pulled back raising an eyebrow as she spoke trying to calm him. “I’m not going to do all the work here Spence, just..ya know turn off your brain and go with what feels right. It’s okay, I’m not going to judge you if you do something I don’t like.”
Reid nodded his head taking a deep breath trying to calm his frantic heart as he took action leaning in pressing his lips to hers trying his best to mimic what he’d seen in films.
He placed his hands hesitantly at her sides the silk of her kimono feeling nice against his palms. It was a gift he’d given her, he realized; the kimono. He’d found it at a thrift shop and he’d known she’d love it. It was a red long kimono with flowing butterfly sleeves. It had a certain dramatic old Hollywood flair to it. It looked like something an old Hollywood starlet would lounge around her mansion in. He knew Y/N would appreciate the aesthetic.
Y/N kissed him back her being the one to push the kiss a bit further allowing her tongue to will his mouth open her tongue sliding along his. She felt a sense of pride wash over her as she heard Reid let out a soft moan.
When the need for air became too much to ignore she pulled back her voice soft. “Let’s lie down.”
Reid nodded his head moving to lie back on her small queen sized bed it the bed springs squeaking with his movement. He pulled back her comforter settling down against the black sheets his heart slamming in his chest so hard it almost hurt.
Y/N took a deep breath reaching for the tie to her kimono unfastening it allowing the robe to fall to the floor.
Reid couldn’t stop the moan from leaving his lips as he took her in. She’d donned a matching black bra and thong. It wasn’t anything too fancy, simple cotton pieces, but Reid couldn’t help but to think it was the most alluring thing he’d ever seen in his life.
Y/N took another deep breath her cheeks flushing ever so slightly under Reid’s gaze. Most of the time guys didn’t look at her this way. Her boyfriends had mostly been a lights off hit it and fall asleep type. They made crude comments about her breasts and her ass that they thought were compliments even though she disagreed. They didn’t stare at her like she was a work of art.
She shoved back any romantic notions swirling around in her brain. This was Spencer, her best friend who was only doing this to lose his virginity. This was just her doing a favor for him, there was nothing deeper to this.
She laid down beside him her lips finding his again she placing a hand over his own. She placed his hand against her side pulling away enough to speak. “Just don’t think, feel.”
Reid nodded his head his lips pressing back to hers his hand sliding along her side stroking her skin. He let out a soft moan the feel of her skin so nice; silky and smooth and warm.
They kissed for a long while Y/N being the one to finally pull back and speak their lips both swollen their breathing heavy. “Do you want to take my bra off? And your undershirt too?”
Reid nodded his head reaching down with shaking hands pulling his shirt over his head tossing the undershirt across the room. He felt his cheeks burn bright knowing his body wasn’t impressive, he was scrawny and pale, nothing to stare twice at.
He swallowed the lump his throat not wanting to give Y/N the chance to see his bare torso for too long, his lips locking over hers as he slid his hand along her back his fingers toying with her bra clasp.
He frowned allowing his other hand to join his hand as he pulled at her bra clasp the stubborn metal not budging.
He let out a frustrated groan Y/N finally taking sympathy on him reaching around behind her unclasping the bra with little effort.
Reid let out a huff his voice low. “Finally, I was about to go grab the scissors and cut it off.”
“If you did that you’d be taking your butt down to K-Mart and buying me a new bra.” Y/N remarked a small chuckle leaving her lips Reid joining her the nervous energy evident in their laughter.
Y/N pulled her bra away tossing it across the room Reid’s eyes starring down at her exposed breasts his jaw dropping ever so slightly.
Y/N chuckled shaking her head noticing the look on his face. “You act like you’ve never seen boobs before. I’m pretty sure you’ve looked at a porno mag before Spence.”
She bit her tongue wanting to blurt out the fact that she was very sure she’d almost walked in on him jacking off to one of those magazines before. She’d never admit it of course, but there had been at least one occurrence quite recently where she’d shown up at his apartment uninvited using the spare key he’d given her. She had walked up to his closed bedroom door and almost knocking when she’d heard his moan. Needless to say she’d hightailed it out of there trying to ignore the heat that spread through her at the sound of his moan.
Reid licked his lips his cheeks growing pink his eyes unable to leave her breasts. “I have…I mean…I mean ya know…I’ve seen breasts in those kinds of magazines…but that’s different…I’ve just never, uh I’ve never really seen ones in person.”
Y/N shook her head trying not to chuckle at his reaction, the man had an IQ of 187 but it plummeted down to sixty when he saw a pair of tits, typical boy.
“You can touch them, ya know. They don’t bite.”
Reid felt his cheeks flush even darker almost sure his face would be permanently red by the time the night was over.
He reached out hesitantly taking her breasts in both hands. He moaned at the feel of them, much like the rest of her, her breasts were soft. They were perfect, full and warm. They fit in his palms perfectly.
He moved his hands entranced by the way her breasts bounced. Y/N resisted the urge to roll her eyes at this; yep, typical boy.
Reid took her by surprise as he leaned in his lips wrapping around her nipple suckling the bud to full attention.
Y/N was shocked by the moan that left her lips as he scrapped his teeth against the hardened bud. Reid pulled back staring up at her his eyes darkened with a lust she’d never imagined she’d see.
He spoke his voice low his eyes locked on hers as he spoke. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you moan…it was like a fucking melody.”
Y/N felt her own cheeks flush at this statement. She’d never had her moans referred to as musical before by any of her past lovers.
She pushed the thought from her brain, Spencer Reid wasn’t her lover. This was a one time thing. She was just doing this as a favor for a friend.
She didn’t have time to focus too hard on convincing herself of this as Reid lowered his mouth to her other breast giving it the same treatment his lips and tongue working the bud of her nipple suckling and nibbling the moans that left her encouraging him.
She placed a hand against his back stroking his skin his thin form more appealing than he liked to believe. She knew about his insecurities of course. She’d noticed he never went into a swimming pool without a t-shirt on. She’d wanted to find the words to tell him that he was perfect the way he was, but she’d always held it in. They were just friends. Friends didn’t comment on each others bodies in that way.
Reid continued to focus on her breasts his hips rocking ever so slightly against her, Y/N letting out a moan at the feel of him poking her through his boxers. He was clearly ready to go.
She pulled back from him he staring up at her his breathing heavy his eyes still so dark with lust. Y/N gave his lips a chaste kiss as she took his hands in hers sliding them down to her hips her voice soft. “Take these off.”
Reid felt his cheeks flush his fingers sliding underneath the hem of her panties his voice just as soft as hers. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, I trust you.” Y/N reassured him giving him a soft kiss as encouragement Reid making her proud as he kissed back with a bit more confidence than he’d shown earlier in the evening.
Reid pulled his lips from hers an anxious little sigh leaving him his hand shaking as he pulled her panties down her legs dropping them to the side of the bed.
He stared down at her wet center almost sure he could cum in his boxers right here right now. She took his hand in hers pressing it against her center her voice still so encouraging and reassuring. “Touch me Spence, explore. You should make sure I’m good and wet before you enter me or it’s not going to be fun for anyone.”
Reid nodded his head frantically his fingers tracing her slit his voice holding a hint of worry. “You’ll tell me if I hurt you right?”
Y/N tried not to smile at the innocent question. It didn’t surprise her, her sweet Spencer, so worried about harming her. “Of course, and I’ll let you know if I don’t like something. Just do what feels right.”
Reid sighed wanting to point out that he wasn’t sure what felt right given he’d never been in this situation before.
He tried to think back to one of the books he’d read that described how to best do something like this. He’d tried to his research this week wanting to be ready for this weekend. He’d guiltily read a book at the library near his apartment; The Joy of Sex. He’d sat off back in a far hidden corner of the library fearing that someone would see him and think he was some kind of pervert. He’d felt himself blushing his pants growing a little tight as he’d stared down at the book. He hadn’t been expecting there to be pictures. Sure they were illustrated, but they were still pretty graphic.
He slid his fingers along her slowly teasingly unsure of what she’d like. He hesitantly slid one finger into her groaning at the feel of her soft soaked walls so tight against his digit.
She whimpered at the action his long fingers reaching so much farther than her hands could manage the few times she’d decided to touch herself.
Reid shot her a panicked look misinterpreting her whimper as a sign he’d screwed up, but she managed to soothe him her voice light and airy. “That was a good whimper, I promise.”
Reid couldn’t stop the slow smile from crossing his lips as he began to thrust his finger mesmerized by the sight of it sliding in and out of her tight center her wetness shimmering against his finger.
He added another finger continuing the action. Y/N spoke a soft sigh leaving her giving him a little guidance. “Rub my clit with your thumb.”
She paused clarifying the knowing her past boyfriends couldn’t find her clit with a flashlight and a map. She should expect Reid to do the same especially given his lack of experience. “My clit shouldn’t be too hard to find. Just up slide your fingers up and…”
She didn’t have time to continue as Reid took her by shock his thumb finding her swollen clit he rubbing it gently.
He spoke surprising her by the confidence in his voice a small proud smile crossing his lips as he worked a moan from her. “I know where the clitoris is…I looked at a diagram.”
Y/N gasped her legs falling wider allowing him more room to work. Of course he’d looked at a diagram, this was Spencer Reid. He’d studied for this.
He continued to thrust his fingers rubbing circular patterns against her clit with his thumb. He stared down at his fingers still so fascinated by how they looked sliding in and out of her so wet.
He was overtaken with curiosity having to know how she tasted.
He took her completely by shock as he moved down her body his fingers puling from her his tongue replacing the digits.
She spoke the moan sliding from her. “Fuck, Spencer. Oh, my god.”
Reid smirked against her his tongue lapping at her his thumb continuing to work her clit the action working sweet moans from Y/N’s lips.
He smirked even more an idea entering his mind, He moved his tongue up to her clit his fingers returning to her center thrusting into her. He locked his lips over her clit remembering what he’d read in that book, suckle lightly, not too much, girls could sometimes find too much sensation against the clitoris to be overwhelming and bordering on uncomfortable.
He traced her clit with his tongue his fingers curling within her the moans sliding from her lips showing him he was on the right track.
He stared up at her not helping but to think she looked like a goddess, her head thrown back soft moans sliding from her, her skin flushing as she neared her orgasm, her breasts heaving her nipples hard. She was so stunning.
He locked his lips over her clit humming the action causing her to curse her hips rocking against his fingers as she chased her orgasm. “Fuck, fuck, Spencer. Oh my god. I’m close.”
He continued to suckle at her clit his fingers working faster groaning at the damp tightness around his digits as her orgasm neared closer and closer.
She was shocked as it hit her, she’d never managed to cum this hard with a guy before. She couldn’t stop the moans from sliding from her as she reached her end. Her center fluttered around his fingers soaking them Reid moaning against her clit at the feel of it, his cock throbbing envious of his fingers.
He pulled back from her pride soaring through him as he continued to work her as she rode out her orgasm.
He reluctantly pulled his fingers from her as she began to pull away from him the pleasure becoming overstimulating now that she’d cum.
Reid was tempted to bring his fingers up to suck the release from them, but he didn’t have the opportunity as Y/N spoke motioning her hands. “Come here.”
He moved back up her body her lips pressing to his moaning at the taste of herself against his tongue. He rocked against her his cock already leaking pre cum leaving a wet spot on the front of his boxers.
Y/N placed her hands at the waistband of his boxers pulling back from him her voice needier than she’d expected. “Are you ready?”
Reid nodded his head eagerly his voice just as needy. “I put the condoms on your nightstand.
Y/N pushed his boxers down sliding them down his slim hips Reid helping her pull them off completely kicking them down off somewhere towards the foot of the bed.
He moaned his eyes crossing as Y/N trailed her hand down his body wrapping a hand around his cock giving it a light stroke.
He shook his head pulling away his voice frantic. “Stop.”
Y/N frowned fearing she’d crossed a line somehow or he’d changed his mind. She was relieved as Reid spoke his breathing heavy. “I’m gonna cum if you keep that up.”
She chuckled reaching over to the plastic shopping back Reid had set out on her nightstand at the beginning of the night.
She couldn’t stop herself from laughing as she stared down into the bag spotting the variety of condoms all different brands types and sizes. “Did you buy out the entire pharmacy Spence?”
Reid spoke his cheeks flushing. “I wasn’t sure what to buy..I couldn’t even decide what size I am.”
Y/N peered down at him a soft moan leaving her at the sight of him. This has been unexpected. She spoke making Reid gasp. “We’re definitely going to need to use a large.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched her pull a box from the bag opening it as she spoke. “Do you need me to put it on?”
“I think I can do it…I mean, I watched it happen in sex ed in high school once…which was awkward considering I was a twelve year old prodigy in a public high school” Reid replied Y/N trying not to chuckle tempted to point out that she’d known him when he was twelve so she was perfectly aware of this fact.
“It’s a bit different than sliding a condom on a banana Spence, but I’ll let you try.” Y/N replied pressing a playful kiss to his nose causing Reid to let out a low chuckle.
Reid took the foil packet from her ripping it open and pulling the latex condom from the package. His hands shook as he brought it down to his cock his cheeks flushing as he struggled to slide it on.
He shot Y/N a pathetic look his voice low. “Okay, yeah way different than a banana.”
Y/N opened another condom sure that the one Reid was holding might have a rip in it now. She spoke gently not wanting to humiliate him. “Just watch, you just pinch the tip and roll down.”
Reid hissed as she rolled the condom down over his cock his hips thrusting as though they had a mind of their own as she slid the condom down to the base of him.
She spoke wanting to double check as she pulled her hand from him taking the condom Reid had failed to put on from him. “You ready?”
“Yeah, Yeah I think I am.” He replied hesitantly moving over her as she rolled over onto her back.
She spread her legs wide Reid letting out a low moan staring down at her the words falling from him. “Wow, I didn’t realize you were that…flexible.”
Y/N chuckled at this trying to make a joke. “I’m taking a yoga as an elective.”
Reid nodded his head his voice low. “Make sure and tell your instructor thanks for me.”
She managed to chuckle her lips pressing to his as she spoke. “Just go slow, take your time.”
He nodded his head taking himself in hand sliding his cock against her entrance. He took a deep breath staring into her eyes as he lowered himself thrusting forward.
Reid let out a shaky moan as her tight center took him he sliding in slowly just like she’d instructed.
His entire body was shaking by the time he thrusted to the hilt. Y/N ran her hands along his back soothing him his breathes heavy his eyes shutting as he tried to will himself not not cum before he even got one thrust in.
She spoke her voice soft caring. “You doing okay there Spence?”
“yeah, yeah, great…amazing. I’m..oh fuck.” He groaned her center contracting a bit as he shifted her hips.
She spoke her voice apologetic. “Sorry, sorry, I just needed to readjust, we’ll stay still as long as you need it.”
Reid nodded his head concentrating on his breathing praying to anyone who might be listening, even if he wasn’t sure he believed in a higher power, that he would at least manage to get a few pumps in before this was all over.
They laid there like that for longer than it seemed Reid trying to gather his nerve Y/N so patient with him running soothing circles along his back reassuring him silently.
Reid finally willed himself to thrust lightly a cry leaving him overcome with how just the smallest moment could feel so perfect.
He’d never felt anything like it before. He’d touched himself sure, guiltily masturbating, but his lotion slicked hand was nothing compared to this.
He dared to open his eyes staring down at her, this goddess who was letting him experience this with her. His heart was overtaken with emotion for her as he began to thrust a little more enthusiastically. He pulled back before slamming back into her the action working moans from both of them.
Y/N rocked her hips against him encouraging him as he continued to thrust. Reid moaned pressing his lips to her neck biting and sucking as he rocked against her.
This was what heaven must be like a far off voice in the back of his head exclaimed. She was so tight and hot, and he already knew she was so wet from earlier experience.
Y/N found herself feeling just as amazed. He was big, bigger than most guys she’d been with. He wasn’t so big that it hurt but there was certainly enough girth and length there to stretch her center and reach her in the best ways possible.
She gasped Reid working his hips faster his voice sounding wrecked. “I won’t last long…I…I fuck, baby. I don’t think…I don’t..I’m.”
She spoke once again reassuring him her hand continuing to rub his back. “I know Spence, it’s okay. I know. Cum Spencer, come on, let go for me. Cum for me.”
Reid gasped too overcome with how incredible this felt to be too ashamed as he felt his balls drawing against his body his thrusts growing more frantic his cock throbbing singling that all good things must come to an end.
He made a few sloppy harsh thrusts his cock throbbing as he came hard for the first time ever buried in someone’s body. He continued to thrust his moans muffled against her neck as he spilled his release into the condom.
He collapsed against her shaking as he recovered from his end. He kept his face buried against her neck shame flooding him as he came down from his high.
He’d cum so fast.
He spoke his voice muffled against her. “I’m so sorry.”
Y/N frowned puzzled at this comment. She placed a hand against his cheek forcing him to look up at her. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I came and you didn’t,” Reid explained a frown crossing his features, how could she not be so disappointed right now.
Y/N tilted her head to the side trying to hide her smile. “Uh, Spence, did you forget about how I came with your face buried against my pussy just a few moments ago?”
“Yeah, but that was…you didn’t cum with me inside of you.” Reid explained his cheeks flushed from more than his post coital haze.
Y/N shook her head her voice reassuring. “No offense Spence, but it’s pretty normal for a guy to cum that fast his first time…I mean, you should feel proud…you lasted longer than I expected.”
Reid groaned burying his face against her neck his member beginning to soften in her as he spoke. “Thanks, I think.”
She chuckled pressing a reassuring kiss to his cheek. “It’s not a big deal. I mean you got me off once tonight. I enjoyed that.”
Reid felt a little swirl of confidence in him at this statement. She had a point, He did managed to get her to cum once tonight, just not in the way he would have preferred.
Y/N spoke her voice soft a little uncertain of what to do now. “So, uh…was it everything you expected? I mean the whole…I mean, you aren’t a virgin anymore.”
Reid smiled nodding his head his cheeks flushing further. “It was amazing.”
He pulled from her his breathing still heavy as he pulled the condom from his spent cock tying it and tossing it in the wastebasket.
Y/N remained lying still her brain spinning. What now, what happened now? He’d gotten what he’d asked for?
He had told her he didn’t want her to feel used. She didn’t feel used, well she didn’t think she did. To be honest she wasn’t sure how she felt.
Her brain was a mess of confusing thoughts. Reid was her friend. She adored him. He’d been there for her when she’d needed him the most. He was always there for her. He watched her plays. He let her cry on him when some jerk guy broke her heart. He would do magic tricks for her when she felt down. He was always there to help her study or to just make her feel less lonely. He always had been there when she needed him.
She loved him, she’d always said she loved him, but she’d always meant it as a friend.
If he was just a friend though then why’d it feel like this. Why’d she want to lie in his arms and never move again? Why’d she want him to kiss her and hold her and stroke her hair? Why’d she want him to never leave her bed again?
She spoke unable to stop herself from voicing her thoughts “What happens now?”
Reid felt his cheeks flush trying to push back the frantic thoughts running through his head as well. Why did he want to stay in her bed a little longer? Why did he want to hold her and kiss her? “We’re still friends.”
“Of course.” Y/N spat out not helping but to sound a little bitter.
She pushed it back, she was acting crazy. They were just friends. She’d just been helping her friend out. This wasn’t love.
She had told herself this wouldn’t happen. She’d thought that this wouldn’t happen. How could she have been so foolish? You couldn’t sleep with someone who you’d known this long and expect feelings not to grow complicated.
She spoke again knowing she was being a bitch “I mean, of course. We’re just friends…I mean I just popped your man cherry under a love will tear us apart poster. That probably speaks for it’s self. There’s no reason to get any wild ideas about what this was. I was just doing you a favor.”
Reid frowned his stomach turning as he heard the hurt in her voice. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want her to feel like this.
She spoke again refusing to look at him wanting to punch herself for the way her eyes were growing damp. “I did you a favor. I mean you should be fine when you manage to get someone to do this with again. Hell with that mouth and those fingers of yours alone you’ll probably make the next girl you do this with happy…We’ll always be friends.”
Reid felt the words leave him before he could stop them. “Friends don’t do this.”
She let out a huff not helping but to feel her sorrow and confusion turning to anger. She rose her voice not meaning to. “Friends don’t do this shit!”
Reid cringed as she shoved at him wanting him out of her sight. She couldn’t do this. If she kept it up things would never be the same between them. “You should leave. Just please, it’d probably be better if you just left.”
Reid stared down at her all the confusing thoughts swirling through his head stopping a simple answer hitting him. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have missed it?
He spoke refusing to give her what she wanted. She wasn’t going to shove him away. “No.”
“Spencer leave, please just go before we fuck this up. Just leave and we can try to just forget this ever happened.” She begged him her eyes watering she refusing to meet his gaze.
Reid spoke up shaking his head stubborn. “You’re right Y/N friends don’t do this. Maybe I don’t want to be friends.”
She cringed her heart breaking. She’d really done it now. She’d lost her best friend. She didn’t want to be without him. She didn’t know how to be without him.
She felt the breath leave her body as he spoke again. “I want more than that. I mean think about it I didn’t ask you to do this because I trust you…I mean I do trust you. I trust you, but it’s more than that. I mean…I think I asked you to do this because subconsciously I knew the truth.”
She finally dared to look at him Reid frowning as though he was lost in his own thoughts. He stared up at her speaking again. ‘The truth is that I love you Y/N. I think I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.”
She frowned wanting to argue that this was just the orgasm talking. This entire thing was probably just the chemicals surging through their brains. They were both sex happy, this wasn’t love.
Reid spoke again as though he could tell just what she was thinking. “I think I’ve been in denial about it for a really long time now…I mean, It used to piss me off, when other guys got to take you out. I thought I just felt overprotective, but it isn’t just that. I..I was jealous. I wanted to be the one taking you out.”
Y/N spoke her voice soft and pained as she continued to cry. “You don’t mean that. We’re just…we’re just sex happy.”
“No, it’s not that. Look at me and tell me you don’t love me. Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same. Do it and I’ll walk away right now.” Reid stated reaching for her refusing to let her shove him away.
Y/N starred up at him wanting to force herself to do it, wanting to force her brain and common sense to make her say the words.
She stared up at him her dearest oldest friend. She found herself unable to deny it. She could never lie to him.
“I love you. I think I love you probably more than anything. I love you Spencer Reid.”
Reid smiled his own eyes beginning to water as he took her into his arms his lips locking over hers this kiss a far cry from the nervous inexperienced sloppy kisses he’d given her earlier tonight.
He pulled away his hand pressing to her cheek unable to pull his body away from hers needing to hold her. “I love you too.”
They remained like that for a long while Reid getting her to lie against him holding her tight in his arms reassuring her of his love with gentle kisses and soft whispers of adoration.
Once they’d finally managed to stop crying their tears expressions of joy they began to drift off to sleep.
Y/N spoke her voice soft. “You know…there’s still a ton of condoms left in that bag.”
Reid snorted at this comment pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Jeez baby, let a guy get some sleep and rejuvenate. I know I’m young but I’m gonna need some downtime.”
Y/N rolled her eyes smacking his chest. “You’re lucky I love you you butt head.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead a sleepy pleased smile crossing his lips. “I love you too.”
They felt themselves drift off both knowing that things between them would never be the same. They were so much more than friends now.
Andie here: This was one of the first one shots I believe I read on here. I love how Spencer and reader are written here. It’s so genuine and funny and just naturally believable. 😍😍🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻✋🏻💗💗
There’s a graveyard at the bottom of the lake. But here, safe on the shore, it’s easy to forget that there’s more than one way to drown.
warnings: mentions of case violence, mentions of drowning, descriptions of animal bones, fear of disappearing (reader)
genre: fluff
word count: 4,000
a/n: made with love not with skill. It take’s me 100 years to write a single sentence so I don’t know if or when I’ll get another fic up (though I have a few WIPs).
The case you were working just ended. It was standard. Difficult, sure, but the profile you gave was strong. It was just a matter of time before you narrowed in on exactly who the UNSUB was. You were able to catch the man before he killed anyone else.
He dumped the bodies in Superior National Forest, not too far from the shoreline of Lake Superior. The land doesn’t hide things the way the water does, no matter how large the forest is. It’s because of this that you were able to solve the case. Now the team is stuck in a sort of twilight, an inbetween. Your work is done, but you can’t leave. Not tonight, it’s far too late. You’ll all fly back to D.C. tomorrow, but the rest of tonight is yours.
Everyone heads back to their rooms, exhausted, ready to return to their own homes and their own beds. It’s quiet out here, nothing but the soft chirp of crickets and the low drone of TVs in other occupied rooms to fill the night. Most of the team’s rooms are scattered around the motel because of the other occupancies. Your and Spencer’s rooms, however, are right next to each other.
— dedicated to @ssa-m-187, for sharing my brain ♡ i treasure u
PAIR: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: The one where you feel a lot of things and Spencer knows exactly what you need.
CATEGORY: hurt/comfort
CONTENT: anxiety, crying, sad, driving
WORD COUNT: 767 (a wee blurb)
NOTES: inspired by a drive i went on with my best friend when i was feelin low, except ours was much more platonic // wrote this while i was feelin the blues today. heavily unedited and very small, but it eased the ache a bit <3
—
Spencer pushes his key into the lock of your shared apartment and swings it open, expecting to see you reading on the couch or writing at the kitchen table as usual. Instead, he’s met with an empty apartment, only illuminated by the soft glow of the setting sun peeking through the windows. He shrugs, kicks off his shoes, and drops his bag next to the couch. He begins working on undoing his tie as he makes his way towards the bedroom door.
When he enters and still doesn’t spot you, his brows pull together in confusion. He begins to wonder if you left to go somewhere until he hears a muffled sniffle come from under the chunky duvet. The sound makes his heart sting.
He slowly creeps his way towards the bed, finally noticing the faint you-shaped lump under the covers. Spencer lifts its edge and peeks underneath to see the woman he loves balled up in the fetal position, tears trickling down your cheeks.
“Now, what’s this all about?” he whispers and his voice immediately sends comfort to your aching chest. He raises the duvet just enough so that he can slide under with you, cradling your form with his body and pressing a kiss into your hair. Just enough of golden sunlight shines through the fabric that you can see his sharp features. You bury yourself into his chest and inhale his distinct scent that feels like home.
“I don’t know,” you rasp, “Just… feeling things. You know how it goes.” Another tear.
“Yeah, I know how it goes. It comes with loving someone who is as affected by their emotions as you are.” His statement makes you hide your face in your hands. At this, he lightly grasps your wrists with one of his to pull them away, the other rubbing lazy circles along your spine. Spencer kisses both of your palms. “Hey—none of that. It’s one of the endless things I love about you.”
His profession replaces a bit more of your aching with warmth, but a stubborn tear still escapes from the corner of your eye. You feel his lips briefly brush against yours.
“Wanna go for a drive?” His voice is barely audible and you nod. “Grab your blanket, we’ll go in a bit.”
—
Spencer changes into a large hoodie and sweats before you both make your way to the car, his hand lightly hovering over the small of your back. A light throw blanket is draped over your shoulders. When you walk up to the passenger side of the car, Spencer opens the door and dramatically motions for you to get inside.
“My liege,” he says in a goofy voice that makes you giggle as you curl up in the passenger seat. At the sight of your smile despite the redness in your eyes, his gaze softens and the weight on his chest is lightened. He slides in, starts the car, and you’re off.
Your drives started about a month into your relationship. Ever since he discovered that they take your mind off of whatever heartache you may be experiencing, he never hesitates to offer a trip around the block (gas money, be damned). What Spencer still doesn’t realize is that he’s the reason why they work so well. Having him next to you in your own little world—this solace in the shape of a vehicle—makes you forget about anything else that plagues your thoughts.
You look over at him as he watches the road intently, one hand steering while the other rests on your thigh, fingers drumming to the beat of the lowly playing music. You admire his strong jaw and the way his hair curls slightly at the ends—every ridge, every mark on his skin, everything you’ve come to love about him—and wonder how you got so lucky.
Lucky to have someone who understands what you need—someone who listens, empathizes, and lacks judgement—someone like Spencer. He looks over at you for a moment and all the pain in your heart subsides. The sky behind him is inked with hues of pink and orange, making him look ethereal.
At that moment, nothing matters. All anxieties of the future and past drift away when you think about how loved and cared for you are in the present. You don’t need anything else.
Just an idea I thought of once while watching Criminal Minds. A coffee cart AU where the amount of trauma thrown at Spencer is a minimum and he actually finds a nice human to love :’)
Also one of those “I can’t find a fanfic that I like so I’ll write it myself” type deals. A fluffy slowburn. :) You can also find this fic on wattpad under the same name!
A/N: I have condensed chapters 1 and 2 into chapter 1 and also chapters 9 and 10. also: the end of this fic will be chapter 15 :)
Chapter 1: The Chance Encounter
Chapter 2: A Name to the Face
Chapter 3- A Night Out
Chapter 4- It’s Actually Cate
Chapter 5- Technologically Inept
Chapter 6- I’d Like Her to Stick Around
Chapter 7- Raining in My Apartment
Chapter 8- The First Moves
Chapter 9: The Friendship/Relationship Limbo
Chapter 10- Trivia Night
Chapter 11- I’m Not Afraid
Chapter 12- Bakers Can’t Cook
Chapter 13- Purple Hyacinths and White Orchids
Chapter 14- The Face of Danger
Chapter 15- Learning to Live with Each Other
Flavor shots (like oneshots with Cate and Spencer in their universe) :)
Babysiting the Godsons
Blue Christmas part 1 Part 2
5 Times Shrimp Preferred Spencer Over Cate and the 1 Time he Didn’t
Andie here. This was a short series I read last year, but it is so adorable and yes, it is an OC, BUT you will fall in love with SHRIMP. I promise you.
PAIR: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: Spencer's wife wakes up in the middle of the night to find him working downstairs and suggests that he takes a break (though, her motivations aren't entirely selfless).
CATEGORY: smut (18+ ONLY)
CONTENT: husband/dad!spencer, unprotected penetrative sex, kissing, hair pulling, breeding kink, mention of wet dreaming, cum eating, begging, dirty talk, finger sucking
WORD COUNT: 1.6k
NOTES: inspired by these visuals: one, two // special thanks to @idonotexiste for previewing this <3 // i hope you enjoy !! please do let me know what you think :)
—
Spencer runs his hand across his face and blinks his eyes a few times. The files spread on the coffee table in front of him go in and out of focus with his sluggish disposition. Seemingly taunting him with its ticking, the clock across the room displays 3AM precisely. He sighs, takes a sip of the coffee he made, and leans into the couch.
It isn’t unusual for Spencer to wake up in the middle of the night. Usually, he has no problem drifting back asleep once he pulls his lover a bit closer and falls into her embrace, but that particular tactic wasn’t a success tonight.
He figures that if he’s going to be awake anyways, he could at least get some work done and maybe get to spend a bit more time with the kids the following day. While he’s thankful that the bureau has been letting him work from home more often, no amount of time with them would ever be too much.
Spencer’s attention is drawn to the stairs when he hears the patter of bare footsteps on hardwood. Emerging from the darkness into the warm light of the living room is his wife, still drowsy and rubbing her eyes with the tips of her fingers. Her short, silk nightgown trimmed with lace subtly shines brighter as she approaches him.
“What are you doin’ down here, stranger?” she asks, before her mouth stretches into a yawn. She stands behind the couch and wraps her arms around his shoulders, burying her face into his messy curls.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he replies quietly, voice raspy, “Why are you awake?”
“Well, I was sleeping perfectly fine until I turned around and got nothing but an armful of pillows.”
Spencer bows his head and kisses each of her wrists before looking up. “I thought I could get some work done so we could take the girls to that aquarium they’ve been begging to go to. It’s your day off tomorrow and they’d love it.”
She smiles at the mental image of their daughters dragging Spencer around the aquarium, asking about each creature and anything he might know about them. She’s noticed that he’s been reading up more about the ocean, ever since they watched Finding Nemo and found interests in marine life.
“Sounds perfect,” she says, bending down to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Do you think you could take a little break, though?”
“You should go to bed,” he counters, “We’re gonna have to wrangle two little monsters tomorrow, you’ll need all the sleep you can get.” Spencer laughs a bit at the thought.
“You see, but I can’t go to bed.” The tone of her voice is deeper and alluring.
“Why not?” He looks up at her with concern.
“Because… I had a dream.”
“What kind of dream?”
Instead of responding immediately, she moves around the couch to straddle his lap, gown riding up and pooling at her hips. She can hear Spencer’s breath get caught in his throat when she takes one of his hands and drags it slowly up her leg. She grips his palm and moves it under her nightgown so his fingers connect with her naked, dripping core, covering them in her arousal.
“That kind of dream.” She pulls his fingers up to her mouth and sucks them between her lips, making sure to collect every trace of her on him.
Pupils dilated, Spencer pulls her into an erotic kiss, tongues colliding and teeth clashing with their passionate movements. She can feel his hands tightly grip her thighs and mentally hopes that they leave bruises to remind her of this moment.
Spencer pulls back and presses their foreheads together, chest heaving, “The kids–”
“Are fast asleep. We can even make it quick and cut the bullshit. Please just fill me up, baby—I need you so bad.” She punctuates her sentence with a tug to his hair and a deep grind against his groin, where he’s already hard from the beauty on his lap.
In lieu of a verbal answer, Spencer presses his lips against hers once again as she starts undoing the tie of his pajamas, eager to get what she wants as soon as possible. He lifts his hips enough so she can push down his waistband and take his thick cock into her hand. The contact sends shivers down his spine.
She pulls back to look him in the eyes and places him between her folds, then grinds her wetness against his length. The friction between them is absolutely glorious. They’re panting into each other’s mouths, lips millimeters apart.
When she finally lines him up at her entrance and settles down onto his dick, the sinful feeling of him stretching her open causes a groan to escape from her lips. Spencer acts quickly and shoves his thumb in her mouth with the rest of his hand cupping her cheek.
He shushes her, “Gotta be quiet, love. Don’t wanna wake them up.” All she does is nod and gratefully starts sucking his digit.
She sits flush against Spencer’s lap with her hands bracing his shoulders and begins to lift slowly, moans muffled by his finger. He breathes heavily into her neck and occasionally sucks at her skin when he feels like he can’t stay quiet. When she pushes down, Spencer moves up to meet her halfway, creating a lazy, intoxicating rhythm. His length fills her so deeply, hitting all the right spots that he knows drive her insane.
Her center is soaking wet and she’s already halfway to her orgasm due to the dream she had of him pounding her into the next century. The knot in her stomach exponentially tightens and the edge of her release feels as if it's infinitely approaching.
Spencer can’t take the pace anymore and pulls his thumb out of his wife’s mouth to grip her waist tightly.
“I’m trusting you to be good and stay quiet,” he whispers, before he plants his feet and begins to snap his hips upward.
She’s clearly having a hard time complying with this command, as her mouth is open and her eyebrows are furrowed, practically begging to let out a loud moan. Only his heavy breathing and her soft whines start to fill the room, accompanying the sounds of their skin colliding repeatedly from him relentlessly fucking into her.
He’s drowning in her—the way she tightly squeezes around him and throws her head back when he hits a particularly sensitive spot, the way her pussy stretches around his girth, the way her breasts move from their rhythm. He feels borderline drunk on the pleasure coursing through him.
From his level, Spencer has a perfect view of her tits bouncing while she’s lifted up and down his length. She notices how mesmerized he is at the sight and slides the straps of her gown down her shoulders, giving him a picture of her bare chest. Spencer bites his bottom lip to suppress a groan.
His thrusts grow harder with the new motivation to get her to bounce more violently on him. She braces a hand on his shoulder at the force and the sheer electricity traveling up her body with it.
“So good, baby, look so good for me,” he pants.
“Spence, please,” she pleads as quietly as she can, “Make me cum—fuck—please.”
Spencer brings his thumb to her swollen clit, rubbing in tight circles just the way she likes it. This sends her past her breaking point and she connects their mouths so she can moan freely into him, her fingers tangled into his hair. The waves of pleasure crashing through her abdomen are overwhelming, especially as he continues to use her to chase his high.
Spencer moves his hand to grip the hair near her scalp and pulls her head back so that the column of her neck is exposed. He places brief kisses there as he whispers mindless phrases into her skin.
“Gonna fuck my cum so deep into that pussy, gonna get you pregnant again. Give me another baby, yeah?”
“Oh– get me pregnant,” she begs, “Fill me up, need it—please.”
Spencer thrusts hard a final few times before his hips are stuttering and his cum is spurting into her. She bites her lip at the feeling of his dick twitching and his warm seed reaching her deepest parts. He slows to a stop and wraps his arms around her, pulling them impossibly closer. They lean their heads on each other as they catch their breaths.
“Satisfied?” he asks, kissing her temple.
“Mhmm, very much.” She smiles and nods, and Spencer wonders how she can go from being completely filthy to the cutest vision alive. A yawn unwillingly escapes from her.
“Get into bed, I’ll be there soon,” he whispers, pecking his love on the lips a few times in succession.
She pulls herself off of him and they fix their clothing, a displeased look coming across her face when a bit of cum drips down her leg. She braces the couch to stand and quickly collects it with her finger. She makes direct eye contact with Spencer as she lifts it to her mouth and licks it off. The action sends arousal straight back to his groin and the teasing expression she shoots him just confirms that she knew exactly what she was doing.
Spencer watches as she makes her way back to the stairs with more of his cum sliding down her inner thigh. The sight is enough for him to abandon his work on the table and immediately follow her to their bedroom, where he plans on pushing all of it back into her (preferably with his tongue).
(from my general taglist, i only tagged mutuals and those who interacted with my first smut fic bc i don't want to tag people if they might not be comfortable with it. please fill out my form if you'd like to be tagged in my smut ! repeats are fine)
Summary: Spencer's first night home from prison is complicated
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
Category: Smut, angst
Content warnings: Prison mentions, hints of ptsd, nudity, bruises, crying, two almost panic attacks, arguing, oral (fem and male recieving), edging, fingering, unprotected sex, food, eating, mentions of therapy
Word count: 6k
masterlist!
A/N: wow this fic is a doozy!! I cannot believe I hit 600 followers it is absolutely insane? So I wrote 6k of angst and smut for all of you!! ALSO this is my entry for @spencersawkward writing contest!! congrats on hitting 2k bestie!! feedback is welcome!!
5:00pm
It doesn't feel real. Spencer is actually here. Sitting in the passenger seat of my car. I've never felt the need to grab onto him and never let go until this moment. The silence feels like a brick on my chest, but that was expected. You don't spend months in prison framed for murder and come out a whirlwind of outspokenness. But that's okay. I don't need him to talk.
So I drive. With soft classical music playing from the speaker and rain splattering on the windshield. I want to ask hear a fact about rain or driving or hell, a statistic about collisions in the rain that will undoubtedly worry me until it stops. But I don't. He just sits there, almost eerily still. Normally, he would be fidgeting with something. Unfortunately, nothing is normal.
I park in our normal spot of our apartment building's garage and busy myself with turning off the radio. Spencer undoes his seatbelt and slowly opens the car door. I had kept it unlocked the whole ride, not wanting to freak him out. I step out and walk beside him, scanning the garage for anything that might harm him. The back of my hand brushes his and I have the vague urge to cry. I had missed him a lot while he was in there. All I want to do is hold him and never let him go.
And then, I feel it.
His hand very softly slips into mine, squeezing softly. The warmth of his palm sends goosebumps down my body. I fell like I'm on a high of sorts, drunk on love for this genius. I squeeze back as my lips curl into a soft smile. We walk all the way to the door of the apartment building and he stands in front of it, as if in wait. I look at him confused before it hits me.
He thinks it's locked.
A second passes. Then two. Finally, he realizes what he's doing. I reach forward with my free hand and push it open, holding it so he can step in behind me. I notice a hint of relief in his eyes when I choose not to say anything. My heart aches but I'm quick to mask the expression on my face as I press the elevator button with my knuckle. I make sure to stand just a little closer to Spencer and I feel him shift towards me.
When the elevator doors open, I can't help but worry the metal box will be too much. But when he steps in and pulls me with him, the worry is slightly calmed. I once again press the button and Spencer stands behind me. He lets go of my hand and my stomach drops but all of a sudden I feel the warmth of his large hand on my hip.
'He's right here. Spencer's here' The words echo in my mind but do little to soothe me. I feel jittery. Like all my senses are dialed up to 15. I'm so worried that something's going to happen and I'm not going to know how to help him. Because I didn't. This was all new territory. There was no guide for what to do when your FBI agent boyfriend is framed for murder and thrown into jail.
Even if there was, Spencer was unique. I couldn't push too hard because he would just shut me out but I couldn't step too far back because I didn't want to leave him alone. I had no idea what he needed or what he wanted.
I settle for rubbing my hand over his as the doors open and we step out. He keeps his arm around my waist, tapping out what feels like Morse code. I pull out my keys and unlock the door, once again holding it open for him. He steps in and looks around the apartment we've shared for years. He's silent as he walks around hesitantly. He stops in front of a picture of us on the bookshelf, placed in between two team photos.
It was a picture Derek had taken of Spencer and me curled up on the jet sofa. I was practically on top of him and his arms were wrapped around me to keep me in place. Spencer loved the picture because of the content smile on my face as I slept. He always took mental pictures of me when I slept. When he first told me, I had questioned why. He explained that whenever I was touching him while sleeping, I would have this smile on my face that I never had when I slept normally.
He picks up the frame and ghosts his fingers over it. He looks at it with a mixture of doubt and what seems to be nostalgia until I break him from his trance with a hand on his bicep.
"Do you wanna eat something? Or maybe shower first? Or nap?" I can't tell what he needs. Spencer wasn't one to talk about his feelings. Not even before. So I did what I do best. Take care of him.
"Shower sounds nice," His voice is so quiet I almost miss it.
"Alright. Do you want me to come with you or should I stay here?"
"Come with?" I nod and he grasps my hand, squeezing. He takes a deep breath as if to ground himself, before following me into the hallway, into our bedroom, and finally, the bathroom.
5:30pm
He's been staring at the mirror for 7 minutes, with an unreadable expression on his face. I stand in the doorframe, mind screaming at me to do something, anything to help him. There was just something in his eyes that looked unfamiliar. He regarded everything carefully as if the hand soap would come to life and attack him.
I slip into the bathroom and his eyes flick over to watch me. There's a hint of panic in them but I blink and it disappears.
"You need anything, Spence?"
"N-no. Just...just stay out here?" He chewed his bottom lip as his eyes darted around the room. My hands twitch with the need to grab his face and kiss him till my lungs burned.
But I don't.
Instead, I turn the shower onto the heat he likes, and prop myself onto the counter, swinging my legs. The corner of his mouth twitches and I bite back a smile. He reaches for the back of his shirt before freezing and looking up at me in fear.
"Could-could you not look? Please?" His words are soft, barely-there whispers. I shove the urge to cry down and nod.
"Of course." I close my eyes and turn my head slightly away. I hear him start to pull off his clothes and drop them into the laundry bin one by one. My arms ache with a need to just hold him and touch him and never let him go.
When I hear the shower curtain open and close, I let my eyes flutter open. I can make out a faint outline of his body but look away. It almost felt invasive, watching him shower. The irony is almost laughable considering how often we used to shower together.
He always stated saving water as an excuse but we both knew we wasted more of it when we were together. He would take his time running soap over every inch of my body and rinsing it off and then I would do the same.
I shake myself out of the memory and hop down from the counter. I hurry into the bedroom and grab him some clothes. I pick out his favourite sweatshirt and his Halloween pyjama pants. I place them next to me on the counter.
I've only been sitting for a few seconds when Spencer stops moving around as if frozen. He stands there for a minute and right as I'm about to say something he moves forward.
He stands by the end of the shower curtain and sticks his arm out. His hand reaches out for me and I feel as if I am nothing more than splotches of paint on Michelangelo's canvas. Only now, we connect. He squeezes hard and I return the action.
We stay like that for a few minutes, as he lets the water run down his back. I decide to make a bold move and bring his hand close to my lips. I lean forward and gently press my lips to the back of his hand.
I pull away slowly, the feeling of his skin burning at my lips. It had been so long since I kissed any part of him. Or at least that's what it felt like. His eyes peek out at me, almost comically wide. I try not to notice the doubt in them as I smile softly at him. He bites his lip and pulls his hand out from mine, turning away.
My heart shatters like a delicate piece of glass. But the urge to take care of him overwhelms my system. So I shove the feeling aside and focus on something else.
I quickly lose myself in memory of us in this very bathroom. We had just come back from a brutal case and a takedown that left bruises all over me. Spencer had insisted I take a bath and relax my sore muscles. I agreed, given he joins me. He relented immediately and we spent hours in a candlelit bath with bubbles. The memory of his hands on me, warm and gentle, kept me sane as I worried for him.
The shower turning off jolts me from the memory and I close my eyes as I hear the curtain open. I hear him walk over to the clothes I set out for him and pause. Then I feel a warmth of body heat and two hands on my knees. I instinctually lean forward and his hand comes to cup my cheeks.
"Open your eyes." He whispers and I happily comply, my eyes snapping open to meet his. His eyes bore into mine as he rubs his thumb over my cheekbone before moving his hand to grip my chin. I feel like I've been hypnotized, unable to look away from his pools of amber.
'So pretty," I breathe out and the corner of his mouth twitches. He moves my hair back and holds my face in both his hands. He's practically squishing my face but I'm too in love to care.
And then he's kissing me.
My eyes close immediately and I lean forward to deepen the kiss. My whole body feels like it's on fire. His lips are slightly rougher than they used to be but I couldn't care less. I reach up and my hands hover over his face before moving to tangle into his wet curls. I can't help but scoot forward on the counter to get as close to his body as possible. In turn, he steps forward, his hands sliding down my body to rest on my hips.
When his lips leave mine, he doesn't go far.
"Perfect.," He mumbles and looks away. I take this moment to scan his body. He still had the green towel wrapped around his hips and droplets of water all over his body.
But that's not what I was focused on.
I was more focused on the dark purple bruises marring his pale skin. I frown as I stare at them before instinctually reaching out to touch them.
Bad move.
He jumps and stumbles backwards, fears apparent in those beautiful eyes. He barely manages to avoid falling to the ground as he presses himself against the wall.
"It's okay Spencer, you're alright. You're home now baby," I slip off the counter and take a small step forward. I slowly reach my hands towards him, palms up. He stares at them for a second before reaching forward and grasping them in his own hands.
"I'm sorry," He won't meet my eyes.
"It's okay. Don't have to be sorry my love"
He slowly raises his head, eyes meeting mine. We both stare through the walls of our overwhelming emotions. His dam breaks first, the evidence slipping down his cheeks. I step forward and try desperately to wipe them away as if this small action will wipe away every bad thing that had ever happened to him.
He rests his head on my shoulder, inhaling shakily. My hand releases his to rub his back.
Up. Breathe in.
Down. Breathe out
6:00pm
He's standing in the living room now, frozen. He stares out the window, down at the people living their lives. They didn't know what he had been through. But I suppose I didn't either. We were the same, those people and I. Living in a bubble of unawareness as the love of my life crumbles before me. I want so desperately to pretend that I am enough. The little voice in my head screams otherwise.
How was I supposed to help him? He was the brains of our little power duo. He was the one who took care of me. I guess that was my mistake.
I always did take him for granted. Maybe it was the fear, that if I clung too tight he would slip through my fingers like quicksilver. Here one second, gone the next. I loved him as loudly as I could. But the longer I stare at him, the more I wonder if that would be enough.
7:30 pm
"You have no idea what you're talking about,"
"I'm know that. I just want to help.”
"And I don't need it.” He's not looking at me now and I couldn't feel more insignificant.
Logically, I know what he's doing. He's lashing out in an attempt to get me to leave. Therefore solidifying his belief that everyone always leaves him. Deep down, he craves that anger and that pain. It was better than feeling nothing.
I had promised him, a long time ago, to never leave. To never run. Internally I vowed to myself that I would rather die than break that promise. So I just stood in front of him.
"I love you," I remind him, a soft smile on my face. Any tension in the room dissipates as something in him shifts. He slowly wraps his arms around me and presses his face into the crook of my neck.
"I love you so much," I mumble into his hair, "So so much.'
I feel his tears then, hot and wet as he breaks down in my arms. The image is heartbreaking really. His body shakes, unable to contain the flood of emotions he had shoved into a little box all his life. I try desperately to hold him together, my arms just not big enough.
"Love you," He whispers against my skin, kissing it gently after the words. I hum softly as I dig my hand into his curls, scratching lightly at his scalp. He continues to press kisses along my neck and when he bites at my pulse point, I let out a quiet moan.
"Missed this," He starts kissing lower but fabric gets in his way.
"S-Spence we don't have to. If you don't want to?" My worry overrides my need for him. When he pulls his face away to look at me, I wipe at the tear tracks left on his face.
He smiles then, leaning into my hand. My heart does what feels like 15 backflips as he brushes his lips on mine.
"Want to. Do you?" He goes back to kissing my neck but when I don't respond he squeezes my hip.
"Yes yes, I want to. Bedroom?" He pulls away at that and nods, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the bedroom.
7:00pm
He pulls me into the darkroom, barely illuminated by the moonlight. I slide onto the bed and he regards me as if deciding what to do with his prey. But when I smile and outstretch my arms, the demeanour melts off of him.
He pulls his shirt off and slides on top of me before I can look for too long. I instead focus all my attention on his lips, kissing him so hard my lips might bruise. He hums but quickly grows impatient.
"Need to see you. All of you," He sits up to grip the edge of my shirt and slowly slides it up my body. When he finally gets it off, he groans at the plain lavender bra I had on. It was nowhere near as pretty as some of my other lingerie but he loves it all the same. He unclasps it easily and drops it off the side of the bed.
He leans down to kiss me again and my head spins at how fast he's going. He's already starting to undo my pants when I press a hand on his chest.
He freezes, looking up at me, clearly worried.
"Are you alright? Did I hurt you? Do-do you want me to put my shirt back on?" His hands rest gently on my hips as I shake my head.
"No no never put it back on! Just-do you wanna go a little slower? Promise I'm not gonna disappear, Spence." I do my best to quell the fear in him. The fear that this is all a dream and he's gonna wake up back in that cell. He may not say it, but I know that's what he's thinking.
"Okay..." He looks hesitant now as he slowly pulls my pants off. My white cotton panties get a smile from him and he shimmies down to be eye level with my core. I know better than to argue at this part, so I keep quiet.
He grins at my obedience and gently runs his fingers up and down my thighs. He slides them up my inner thighs and plays with the edge of my panties. Then, agonizingly slow, he hooks his fingers into the sides of the fabric and pulls them down my legs.
He tosses them to the side and resumes his position. His mouth is so close to where I want him and I fight the urge to squirm. He presses soft kisses all along my inner thighs and lower stomach. He looks me dead in the eyes as he slowly circles my clit with his tongue.
The feeling is almost too much. My hands fly to his hair immediately to grip it, keeping him in place. He hums as he starts to go a little faster, the exact way I like it. He knows exactly what he's doing as he grips my thighs and pulls them apart as wide as they can go, exposing every part of me.
"Fuck fuck r-right there please please?" I'm not fully sure what I'm begging for but he does. He always knows exactly what I need. Which is how he knows to let go of my thigh and drag his digits up and circle my wet hole.
He slowly pushes it in and I let out an obscene whine. He laughs and pulls his mouth away for a second.
"That feel good?" He smirks and I feel the tiniest piece of me relax at the sense of familiarity this brings me. It's a tiny step on the moon but better than nothing.
"Yes! Yes, it feels good! Fuck I'm gonna cum!"
And he's gone. Sitting up and away as I pant. I know he's expecting me to throw a fit but the second we lock eyes my heart melts. I really had missed him. So I sit up and tuck his curls behind his ears as he stares at me, confused and transfixed.
"Such a pretty boy," I mumble into the soft, pink pillows of his face before connecting. I know he heard me, based on his tight grip on my hips and the way he presses his hand against my back to pull me impossibly closer. I slip into his lap and press him down by his chest.
He allows me this, laying back and regarding me with wide eyes. The details of his body are shrouded by the darkness of the room. But I memorized every inch eons ago. I press kisses from the middle of his collarbone all the way down to the edge of his pyjama pants.
I hesitate here, looking up for permission. He's too busy watching my mouth to notice my expression, but he slowly nods when he does. I untie the string and he raises his hips so I can pull them down. They're about to reach mid-thigh when-
"Stop."
I freeze like a deer in headlights, staring up at him completely frozen as my mind goes into panic mode.
"I-can I just leave them like that?" It takes my brain several seconds to switch from screaming to normalcy, but I nod when it does.
"Of course. Do you want me to do your boxers or..." I drift off and he nods. I gently grip the waistband and pull them down.
His hard cock slaps his stomach and he instantly grips it, stroking softly as he stares at me. I sit up and wrap my hand around it slowly. He lets go and watches as I mimic his motions. I feel a pit of nervousness settle in my gut. I had done this exact thing plenty of times and yet it feels like the very first.
He notices, of course, he does, and he places a hand on my bare hip. He doesn't know why I'm nervous and I don't plan on telling him. Instead, I lean over and press a soft kiss on his lips.
"Lemme take care of you?" I whisper into his mouth. He sees the double meaning in my eyes, feels it in the way I brush his hair away from his face. He hums gently, worried that if he says too much, if he said how he felt, it would be too much for me.
But I already knew. Which is why I lower myself down and slowly lick up from the base of him to the tip. He sucks in a breath at the contact immediately and I bite back a smile.
I take my time with this, gently sucking at the tip and pressing soft kisses along the shaft. He keeps his wide eyes on me, changing into dinner plates when I finally take him into my mouth. His fingers push the curtains of hair obstructing his view up and back. He's transfixed, letting out a loud groan when I choke around him.
The feeling of joy blooms in my chest like a flower as he loses himself in pleasure. I knew it was nothing but a bandage on a gunshot wound. But I would do anything to stop the bleeding.
I keep my head bobbing at a steady pace, using my hand to jack off the part I couldn't fit in my mouth. He lets out a loud groan and taps my cheek, pulling my hair gently. Reluctantly pulling away, I wipe the spit off my mouth and take him in.
His eyes are cloudy with pleasure and his bottom lip is even more pigmented. He's breathing heavy and I pat his thigh as he comes down from the edge of pleasure he was at.
"Don't wanna finish there," He mumbles and sits up, grabbing at me to yank me into his lap. I hum softly and press kisses all along his neck and jaw as he helps me get into position.
The tip of his cock presses against my entrance and I let out an involuntary whimper. He smiles fondly as if remembering a memory. I slowly sink, gripping his shoulders to get used to the feeling.
It felt as if it had been forever and yesterday all at once. He holds my hips in his hands, massaging the skin as I take more of him. I get halfway before resting my forehead on his shoulder, overwhelming in the feeling of him. He pats my back and kisses my temple before beginning to pull me down on him
The whine I let out is loud and he hums in acknowledgement, dragging his fingers up my spine as we both adjust to the feeling of being so connected. His heart beats in sync with mine, our chests pressed against each other like flowers to a page. I take a few shaky breaths and lift my face to connect our lips.
I had never felt quite as entangled with him as I did in this very moment. Every fibre of my being screaming his name, every bone in my body etched with his initials. He had invaded me as easily as the Greeks did Troy. But there was no ruse, no trick. There had been no destruction or slaughter. Only this.
I rocked my hips slowly, testing the feeling. His breathing hitched and his grip on my hips tightened. I mumble gibberish, weak versions of his name as I start to move up and down. He kisses me one more time before using his grip to help me bounce up and down.
My plan of going slow and sweet has been thrown out the window as we fill with the urgency to do this. He starts shoving his hips up into mine, groaning as the sound of our bodies colliding fills the room. My eyes roll back as he desperately fucks into me. I try to meet his thrusts but it's clearly in vain as he lays back with me resting on his chest.
He's quick to plant his feet and grab my ass as he fucks me. I'm barely coherent now, drunk on pleasure and him.
"Fuck Spence I-I need to cum." I pleaded as I dug my nails into his bicep, the pleasure too much for my body to handle.
"M'not stopping you."
He pats my back, an almost sweet action if it wasn't paired with the absolutely sinful sounds of slapping flesh. I moan into his skin as the feeling builds. I can't help but attempt to squirm in his vice-like grip but it's futile.
"Go on princess, cum for me." He whispers into my ear and I'm a goner.
The coil in my stomach snaps, sending shockwaves through my body. I clench hard and he chokes on his own breath as he slams into me a final time and fills me with his cum.
8:00pm
“You should get some sleep.” He mumbles with his eyes closed but we both know he isn't anywhere near sleep.
“I’m alright.”
“You look like you haven’t slept in months." His eyes flit open to stare at me, almost definitely profiling my micro-expressions.
“Well then what’s one more night?”
“I don’t need you to take care of me."
“I know. Just because you don’t need it doesn't mean I’ll stop.”
His face is unreadable and I frown, nervous. I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a minefield. I settle for just being quiet, resting my head on my arm as I stare at him. He looks like his mind is empty, a rare occurrence for Spencer.
"Thank you." He whispers and turns to look at me. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and leaves his hand there, resting on my cheek.
"Of course."
8:30 pm
Our silence is broken by the growl of his stomach and I can't help but smile.
"You hungry?"
"I don't feel like eating."
"Your stomach seems to disagree."
He opens his mouth to argue but his stomach cuts him off with another growl. He sighs and starts to reluctantly get out of bed. I avert my eyes from his shirtless figure and focus on slipping on one of his dress shirts and pulling on a pair of underwear.
He's standing in the living room, almost shell-shocked. Every nerve in my body is immediately at attention. The little voice rings siren bells, loud alarms that scream at me to help him.
"Spencer?"
“This…this isn’t right. Something is off. It-it shouldn’t be this easy?” The fear in his eyes is like a dagger to my stomach and one wrong move could have me bleeding out on the cold hardwood.
"What isn't right?" I keep my voice soft and slowly step towards him.
"Everything." He breathes out. I hate that there's nothing but terror in his body. It runs through his veins, poisoning every thought he has.
“You’re at home Spencer. With me. You’re safe now.”
“What-what if I’m not? What if they come here and hurt me or-or you?”
I take another step and open my arms.
“No one is going to hurt you or me. They can’t get you here.” I don't know who he’s even referring to but I don’t want to. I keep my arms open and he stares at me for a second before pulling me close to his chest and wrapping his arms around me.
He holds me so tight as he takes shaky breaths to calm down. I trace a heart with my index finger on his back over and over. He takes a long, deep breath and squeezes me one more time before unwrapping.
He keeps his eyes down, guilt swirling around him like a thick fog. I don't say anything. His emotions were hard for him before, especially asking for help. So now, I let him process.
I hold his hand as we walk into the kitchen and he leans against the island as I pull out four pieces of garlic bread and four slices of cheese.
"How about my famous garlic bread grilled cheese?" I offer with a smile and he nods, a weak smile on his face as he watches me turn on the stove and place the bread on the pan to cook. I let that heat up and busy myself with picking out a vinyl.
I settle on "Deux Arabesques" by Debussy, the soft notes filling the apartment. I smile softly and kiss Spencer's cheek before moving over to the stove to flip the bread. I hear him move around, his soft footsteps getting closer until he's right behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist and begins to sway gently to the music.
This is what I had missed. As much as I loved the sex, nothing compared to this. The quiet moments, entangled with the love of my life. I had worried that maybe our relationship would never recover.
It almost felt selfish, to worry about that while he was in there. But I knew, that if we lost each other, neither of us would be okay. It would ruin me.
And if I left him? After this? He might never love again.
I banish the thought before the tears can burn at me eyes. Spencer's still swaying and I match his movements as I place cheese on the bread and close them. I let the cheese melt in the pan and reach for the plates.
Spencer hum and reaches around me to grab them and put them down.
"Such a good helper." I mumble, almost to myself but he clearly hears me and lets out the tiniest laugh. I grin as I put the sandwich's on the plates.
"Wanna eat in bed or on the couch?"
"Couch? Maybe we could watch something?" He unwraps himself but doesn't go far. When I nod he takes both of the plates and heads over to the couch.
For a second I feel at ease. Like everything is fine. Of course, it isn't. He had just been on the edge of a panic attack and now he's looking through Netflix like nothing happened.
The worst part is I have no idea what to do.
I settle for just turning off the record player and sitting down on the couch. I leave a foot of space between us and yet it feels like the Grand Canyon. He looks at me confused and gestures me over. I cut the distance in half and he still frowns. He moves closer so that our thighs are pressed together, heat radiating off him.
His small smile doesn't leave his face as he munches away, a documentary captivating his attention.
9:00pm
Meanwhile, my brain begins to sink into it's anxieties like quicksand. I'm terrified. That one wrong word or step would shatter him like the most precious of glass, slipping through my fingers and disappearing. I want so desperately to go back, to save him from this pain and hurt.
He didn’t deserve this. Any of it. He was so good and kind and loving and caring. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. It didn’t make any sense. Why did the weight of the sky fall on his shoulders? He was no titan. He had waged no war against Zeus.
He was only a man. Condemned to hold the heavens up on his shoulders.
My emotions shine through my eyes and it’s clearer than day to Spencer.
“Are you alright?” My eyes snap up at the question and I feel a twinge of annoyance at myself.
‘Great. Now he’s worried about you. You’re supposed to be taking care of him. Not the other way around’
“I’m fine! How’s your grilled cheese?” My attempts to change the subject are futile as he stares at me in wait.
"I-I just wanna be here for you...."
"You are here." His smile is soft, albeit confused.
"No I mean...I don't know how to help you?" I'm playing with my fingers now, refusing to look up at him. My stomach twists and I swallow thickly to get rid of the feeling.
"I think I should go to therapy."
My eyes snap up to meet his. He had never been the biggest fan of therapy. It was hard enough for him to open up to people he loved, let alone a stranger.
"It's not your job to help me through this. You shouldn’t have to carry this weight on your shoulders because we’re together. I don’t want you to.” He reaches over to grasp my hand and place a kiss at the back of it.
"Are you sure? I know you don't love the idea of therapy and you shouldn't feel like you have to go because obviously I would never force you into going I don't think th-" He cuts off my rant by leaning over and gently kissing me. I hum as I kiss him back, happy to accept this.
"I know you're not forcing me. But I think I should. I think I need to talk about this stuff. But you shouldn't be expected to carry that burden." He pushes a piece of hair back to cup my cheek and smile.
"I love you so much you know that? And you can always talk to me." My voice is barely above a whisper but he catches it anyways.
"I love you too sweetheart. And I know." He wipes a tear from my face and I realize I had begun to cry. I stare into the eyes of the love of my life and all I can feel is peace.
OH MY GOD ok i have so much to say about this bc i ‼️LOVE‼️ it but i will keep it brief. first of all, Aditi, this was so well-written and wonderful to read. your attention to detail is remarkable and everything Spencer did felt so realistic that i just— WOW. also the Homeric references? MWAH. i love a good Trojan horse tie-in. and the DEBUSSY?? god it was lovely in every way. THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS 💕
Summary: in which Spencer finds a whole lot more than a book
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2500 on the dot!
Genre: fluff, fluff, fluff ☁️
Content Warning: none!
A/N: this is the first piece of writing I’ve ever released from my drafts and into the light of day and I’m slightly terrified so bear with me!! when I wrote this I was picturing baby Spence, just so awkward in the absolute cutest way where you can’t help but fall in love with him, but there’s nothing that ties it to a specific time in the show
tagging @notanotherreidgirl - finally posting this a whole two days later, yay!
please feel free to let me know your thoughts and feedback! alright, that’s enough from me. I hope you enjoy!!
There are some people who fall in love with strangers they pass on the sidewalk, who take the long way home in search of adventure, who are predisposed to peer through the rough edges of the world in search of the beauty between the cracks.
Andie here: OMG I love the idea of Spencer meeting someone on the metro! 😍 and that it involved a favorite classic?! Love your writing so much! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
summary: when Fem!Reader and Spencer are forced to spend the night in a motel, she hears something interesting happening in his shower.
pairing: Fem!Reader x s1/s2 Spencer
content warnings: perv!Spencer, unprotected penetrative sex, some voyeurism, some dirty talk, creampie.
word count: 3.8k
A/N: i haven't written baby!Spence in a while! this was fun to write and i really wanted to try the one bed trope, as cliché as it is (it's too good). anyway, sorry this isn't amazing but i wanted to put something out hehe.
masterlist
the longer you drive, the more the red taillights of the cars around you are starting to blur. it's been roughly three hours in this car, and you're not sure you can take more of this audiobook recording that Spencer's been playing.
in fact, you definitely started tuning out about two hours ago, and now you're completely lost. Reid is staring out the window at the passing scenery, once again entrenched in his own silence. you chance a look his way, but avert your gaze quickly when he shifts in his seat.
it's not that you don't like him-- Spencer is a really nice person, and everyone on the team seems to adore him. he's affectionately known as the baby of the group, despite his insane IQ. but he doesn't talk to you often enough for you to consider him a friend.
when Hotch sent the two of you out of town to lecture together, you didn't know if things would be weird. he's generally reserved, and he was the same during the presentation. even afterward when you asked him if he wanted to grab a drink at the hotel bar together, he declined with a polite smile and headed immediately to his room.
"it's getting pretty late." you observe absently, using one hand to rub your tired eyes. you should have been back by now, but there was a delay at the hotel and the two of you got totally distracted answering questions at the lecture.
"do you need me to drive?" Spencer asks quietly. he looks over at you and even though he's trying to maintain a stoic expression, you can see the reluctance in his face at the thought of taking the wheel. Prentiss said once that he doesn't like driving.
"no, no, it's fine--" you pause the audiobook and straighten up. "I just don't know how much longer we're gonna have to go and I'm really tired."
"three hours and seventeen minutes." he answers immediately. when you glance over with a confused expression, he shrugs. of course he knows.
"three hours?" you deflate.
"and seventeen minutes."
you heave an exhausted sigh, then decide that there's simply no way in hell that you can possibly do this for that long. "Spencer."
"yes?" his voice is curious. the beam from a streetlamp passes over his face, and you notice the shadows in his features. he's young, but there's something mature about him that you can't define.
"would you mind if we stopped in a motel or something nearby? I'm just exhausted and don't wanna get in an accident." you bite your lip after asking, awaiting his reaction. a moment of hesitation before he nods.
"sure."
"you can use my phone to look up some places around here." you hand him your device, which has been sitting in one of the empty cupholders. his own cell is way too old for that kind of stuff.
he starts to do some brief research and you slump a little lower into your seat. at this point, you don't care where you stay; all you need is a place to knock out for a couple hours before driving again tomorrow.
...
by the time you pull into the parking lot of the Palm Grove Terraces, you're too drained to even make a snide remark about the name. you pull the keys out of the ignition and Spencer gets out of the car before retrieving both of your bags from the backseat.
"thanks." you mutter as the two of you make your way to the front desk. he nods, ambling somewhat behind you.
the woman behind the counter is watching something on her computer, chin in her palm.
"hi," you greet with a tired smile. "we'd like to book two rooms, please."
"only one left." she doesn't look up from her screen, and you frown. there weren't that many cars in the lot.
"really?" you ask, more out of confusion than anything else.
"pipe problems in the east wing, so half the rooms are flooded and the rest are occupied." she replies, this time looking you over with a raised eyebrow.
appealing, you think to yourself. "are there any other motels near here?"
"this is the only vacant one for an hour and a half." Spencer answers the question for you, his voice soft but sure. your shoulders slump and you turn back to the woman at the desk.
"please tell me there are two beds in that room."
"there's one." she keeps glancing between the two of you as if to figure out your relationship. Spencer, per his own opinion, looks like a teacher's assistant, and you're still wearing your work clothes from earlier.
if anything, you don't look like a couple or FBI partners.
"um," you look at Spencer. if you're being honest, you don't care much about the rooming situation. he's the type to keep to himself and you're literally going to pass out the moment your head hits the pillow. but you don't want to make him uncomfortable. "Reid, what do you think?"
he's avoiding eye contact, which isn't uncommon but still makes you nervous. finally, he responds, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket and blinking quickly. "if you're okay with it, I am, too."
"great." you pull out your credit card without a moment's delay. she gives you the key to your room and then you both start trudging through the hall, hoping that the one bed isn't a twin.
luckily, it's a bit bigger than that-- though not by much. Spencer sets down your things and pulls out his travel-size hand sanitizer.
"I'm gonna take a quick shower if you wanna get into your pajamas and stuff." you're walking into the small bathroom with a bag of sleep clothes. Reid makes an affirmative noise.
it's a short, hot shower, filling the room with steam as you dry off and put on your sweatpants and a t-shirt. more casual than Spencer has ever seen you dress, but it's not like there's any choice. you finish your nighttime skin routine, grab your things, and walk back out into the motel.
Spencer is sitting on the bed with one of the several books that he lugged along with him. his pj's are just a white t-shirt and cotton bottoms with blue and white stripes, which you find sort of adorable.
"hey." your tone is gentle as you set all of your toiletries away. Reid looks up, runs a hand through his hair.
"oh. hi."
"if you need to shower or whatever, I'm all done in there."
without a word, he walks past you and shuts the door behind him. the water turns on and you grab one of your own books to go sit on the bed. hopefully, by the time he comes out, you'll be able to sleep.
because now that you're all settled in, you're much too awake to doze off. all you can think about is the fact that you're about to share a bed with Spencer Reid. you don't even know his favorite color. you hate that you don't know him well at all.
based on the selection of books on his side, the two of you have the potential to get on well. he's funny sometimes, even if he doesn't necessarily intend to be. plus, he's cute in that kind of way that sneaks up on you.
you've never really thought about Spencer in that way except for one other time when the team was out at a bar after a case and Emily asked if he had someone special in his life. he blushed and said no, embarrassed, and you thought to yourself that you wouldn't mind kissing him. maybe once, inconsequentially.
you're opening a copy of Sense and Sensibility when you hear a sound from the bathroom over the din of the shower. it's almost like a grunt, except you can't hear it clearly enough. you listen more closely and hear it again, causing you to slowly get out of bed and pad over to the bathroom door.
you aren't sure if he hurt himself or what, but there's a creeping sensation in your gut that you shouldn't be doing this. it's only when you hear the soft murmur that you get your confirmation.
"Y/N..." you know your name anywhere, especially when it's coming out like a whine from your co-worker. even though it's barely loud enough to discern, your heart skips a beat. you should stop listening. you know what he's doing.
there's another whimper and your fingertips rest against the door. he's touching himself to the thought of you. there are so many things going through your mind right now, you aren't sure which to address first.
Spencer masturbating? of course he does it-- he's a man-- but it's still shocking to hear. and he does it while thinking of you? he's barely made any effort to become friends. maybe that's the reason why.
you should really stop listening-- this is a huge invasion of his privacy, even if his noises are going straight to your core. god, he sounds so good when he's on the edge. your jaw is clenched while you try to find the willpower to back away and pretend none of this ever happened.
before you can change your mind, you turn on your heel and go to walk back to the bed. except your foot catches on the cheap wooden dresser by the bathroom, sending you crashing to the floor. the yelp that comes out of your mouth is followed by the immediate shutting-off of the water, some rustling around in the bathroom.
"Y/N?" Spencer opens the door to peek out at you, sprawled out on the ground at an incriminating distance from him. he's not opening the door all the way, and you resist the urge to look down at the towel wrapped around his waist. you can see a slice of his bare torso, but refuse to look at it.
"hi." you sit up carefully, a guilty expression on your face.
"what happened?" his eyes flit to the dresser.
"oh, I just tripped." you swallow. there's really no explanation for why you were even in this general area.
"are you... okay?" his cheeks are bright red.
"yep. sorry. you can go back to whatever you were--" you clear your throat. "back to your shower."
he closes the door without responding and now you're sure you've done it: you've successfully made sleeping in the same bed as your co-worker even more awkward than it would have been normally.
scrambling to your feet, you crawl into bed and flick off the lights, hoping that somehow you'll fall asleep and be able to avoid this whole situation. maybe you'll both be able to act like nothing happened.
Spencer stays in the bathroom for a long time. he's definitely not getting himself off, because it's utterly silent in there. aside from the occasional turning on and off of the faucet, there's barely any sign of life.
at least twenty minutes have gone by once he opens the door and comes into the room. there's a wedge of golden light that falls onto the carpet, your eyes shutting immediately. his footfalls are slow when he makes his way to the bed. the springs squeak, the mattress sinks.
you can feel his warmth from your side of the bed. suddenly, his calf accidentally brushes yours and your leg moves away at a startling speed. Spencer coughs.
"Y/N?" barely above a whisper, as if hoping that you're not awake. you can tell that he's embarrassed.
"yeah?" you don't even really intend to respond. for some reason, you can't help yourself.
"I'm..." you can practically hear him swallowing as he pauses. "sorry."
"for what?" it's better to fake being blissfully unaware. that way he doesn't have to feel awkward.
"well, you-- I--" another pause. "can you not do that?"
"do what, Spencer?" even you hear the difference in the way you say his name. it's more serious than before, weighted.
"pretend like you don't know."
and there it is. the last word sits unpleasantly between the two of you, pressed between your two pillows and awaiting acknowledgment. you inhale slowly, searching for the right words. there's no sweeping this under the rug, apparently.
"I shouldn't have listened." you're painfully aware of his presence, how close his body is to yours. if you reached your fingers out a couple inches, you'd be able to grab his hand.
"you listened?" the pitch of his voice goes up a bit, though you're not sure whether it's out of humiliation or excitement.
"I got curious once I heard my name." you deadpan. anyone would do that.
"oh," he replies. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
there's a long, drawn-out silence where you ponder what else to say. the truth is that you weren't weirded out. surprised? sure. but the wetness between your legs is getting harder to resist. "I wasn't uncomfortable."
he speaks slowly, as if uncertain about your implication. "what do you mean?"
"I mean that I--" you bite your tongue. "Spencer, I don't wanna make this weird."
"tell me." and that's the first time you hear any semblance of assertiveness in his voice. he's pleading for an answer, for some kind of confirmation that maybe the things in his head aren't one-sided. honestly, you're not unwilling to give it.
"I liked it."
he tenses. "you did?"
you nod, then realize that he can't quite see you through the darkness. "yeah." then you flip over onto your side, this time able to see his silhouette just slightly. "I didn't know you thought of me like that."
"sorry." he answers simply, edging himself a bit closer to you. it might not even be conscious, but you feel it.
"stop apologizing," you let out a little laugh. "I'm attracted to you too, Spencer."
"o-oh." there's a slight smile in his voice.
"can I ask you something way too personal? you don't have to answer."
he gulps. "sure."
"what do you think about?" you ask the question that's been stuck in the back of your mind since hearing the noises. there are plenty of images pouring into your mind, but you're wondering about his own fantasies.
he inhales slowly, works up the courage to tell the truth. and maybe the shrouded nature of your interaction, the fact that you can't see each other's faces, that gives him the nerve to say what he does. "being on top of you."
your thighs clench together. "that's it?"
"no," his tone changes to something a bit breathier. he's turned on again. "I think about how pretty you are..." he pauses. "and how you'd sound."
the more he says, the more aroused you get. there's something so needy about him that you're craving, a helplessness in his own desires. and you want to satisfy them.
"Spencer, have you ever touched a girl before?"
"sexually?"
"yeah." you giggle.
"sort of? I mean, I know the basics and everything, but--" he starts. you grab his hand, fingertips trailing over the smooth skin of his palms before moving up his forearm. it's a soft, sensual touch that causes him to stiffen. you can feel his pulse jump on the inside of his wrist.
"do you want to?" you're teasing him while you speak.
"yes." this time, there's no hesitation. so you gently drag his hand over your stomach, under your shirt and down to the waistband of your panties. he puts a little pressure into the touch, and then you're guiding him under the fabric, down to where you need him.
the pads of Spencer's fingers rest against your core, and you let out a sigh, involuntarily bucking into him. he notices what he's supposed to do, slides two fingers tentatively between your folds. his sharp intake of breath at the sensation of your wetness makes you moan.
"fuck, Spencer, that's good." you grind against his hand. he finds your clit and, upon the pleasured noise you let out, starts to rub the spot. the fingers you used to guide him are now wrapped tightly around his wrist, begging him for more pressure.
his breathing picks up and so does his pace. he gets a bit more confident now that he's got you squirming, and starts to move down to dip into your entrance. he teases it momentarily before sliding inside with ease.
"oh my god." you whine and push back to get his fingers deeper.
"Y/N." he whines. you glance over and see his other hand beneath the covers, moving over his erection.
"you didn't finish in there, did you?" you smirk. he gulps.
"n-no."
"do you wanna fuck me?" your voice is soft but urgent. he goes faster, plunging his digits inside of your wetness while you work against them eagerly.
"mhmm." he moans.
"good." you push his hand away from your pussy and lean over to grab his face, kiss his cheek. "get on top of me."
Spencer is quick, rolling over so that he's between your legs. the moonlight through the window of the motel makes it so that you can see his face a bit more clearly, darkened eyes taking in your body as you pull your shirt over your head.
he helps you take off your sweatpants and panties, leaving them on the floor. you grab the soft cotton of his shirt. "take this off."
there's a slight bloom in his cheeks. "are you sure?"
"Spencer, you're perfect." you reach up just enough to nip at his throat. his hips buck forwards into nothing and he strips. you run your hands down his skin, reveling in the warm, smooth sensation of his body while he paws at your tits and over your waist. his fingertips brush over your pert nipples, then start to fixate on them.
your back arches. "curious, huh?"
"you're beautiful." he sighs reverently, then dips down to kiss your neck and grind himself against your dripping core. you moan when the head of his cock touches your clit, and you start to work against him.
"Spencer, oh my god." you pull him down tighter to you. his torso pressed to yours is heavenly; you can't get enough of it. he starts to rut against you, dick sliding between your folds while he groans.
"are you on birth control?" he asks.
"mhmm. and clean."
"same." he murmurs. you reach down and grab his length, mouth opening slightly at how big it is. you weren't expecting that, but you certainly aren't complaining. he sighs at the way you feel holding him, but it doesn't last long. you line him up at your entrance, and then he's pushing inside.
your back arches and you let out a needy moan as he stretches your walls, eased by your slickness but still tight. Spencer whimpers and buries himself inside of your body. he's panting, barely able to hold himself up while waiting for you to adjust.
his jaw is dropped, and you reach your hand up to touch his lovely face. "you can move, Spencer."
"thank god." he replies with relief, pulls out and goes back in faster this time. you yelp and dig your nails into his shoulders, angling your hips to take him deeper.
"Spence--" you cry out. "harder, baby."
he's loud when he fucks you, releasing his own whimpers, groans, trying to maintain his composure. but his pace is perfect; he's sensitive and sweet, but still rough with desire.
the headboard starts to hit the wall, your rhythm together sending you to unknown places. it feels so good, you're biting back a smile while clinging to his body for stability. his thrusts get more vicious.
"it feels so good." he whimpers. his hair falls into his face and you brush it out of the way, running your fingers through it and wrapping your legs around him to feel him against your cervix.
"right there, Spence, oh--" he's hitting your g-spot each time, slamming you up the bed with his own eagerness. you don't think he's even trying to be rough-- he's just falling apart at the way you clench, squeeze, around his cock. he's drowning in it.
your face is better than he imagined, expressions of ecstasy written across it while you pant out his name and beg him for more.
"I'm close-- oh my god, Y/N..."
"me too." you're on the edge.
"w-where should I cum?" he pounds into you so deeply, it's hard to think straight for a second. but you already know where you want him. the idea has you gasping for air.
"fill me up, Spence." you hold him down against you, unable to let go of the delicious feeling he's sparking. it's like he hits different angles every time, explores your body until you're about to lose your mind. you never expected Spencer to cause this implosion, your coworker and the seemingly shy, nerdy type.
he groans in response, pushed over the edge by your words, and his hips stutter. when his warm seed starts to shoot inside of you, he does something surprising and presses his lips to yours. you accept his kiss with a smile, both of you moaning into each other's mouths.
something about the romance of it, combined with the steady push of his cock inside of you, makes you orgasm. your pussy clenches around him repeatedly while you buck against him and bite his lower lip. eyes rolled back into your head, you think about how strange all of this is.
you sound pathetically devoted to him, but he's just the same for you. his cum is still inside. he holds himself there for as long as he can, craving your warmth. it's comforting, the way you wrap your arms around him.
moments pass, nails dug into his shoulders while both of you float back down to earth. his breath in your ear grounds your senses, and then you feel him slowly roll over next to you. the sheets are tangled, barely covering your body.
"whoa." he says in summation. his voice is slightly hoarse from the deep groans he was letting out only moments before. you let out a small laugh.
"yeah," you wait before voicing the next thought. "that was fun."
"I finished too quickly, didn't I?" he asks nervously, and you can practically hear his fingers fidgeting in the darkness. immediately, you smile.
"what? no. it was great, Spencer. I think I'm just surprised."
"me too." he speaks in a slightly disconnected manner, and you're wondering if he's reliving the fleeting moments in the same way you are. the one thing in the back of your mind that continues to tug at you is the feeling that you'd like to do it again.
your fingers slip through his, seeking them out almost without thinking. he squeezes sweetly, causing your heart to flutter in an unfamiliar way.
maybe you don't know him as well as some other members of the team do, but you want to. and there's something deep down that makes you think the two of you are similar. in some way or other.
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Hey everyone! Happy Father's Day to those of you who celebrate with a loved one. For the rest of you, however, I hope that this list will offer you some solace during this time. I hope you know that you are, and always have been, worthy of unconditional comfort, joy, and love.
I hope this list of Spencer, Luke, Ralvez, and Hotch fics can make this day just a little bit more bearable. Enjoy, and remember that you will always have a home here 💕
*If you have any fics you'd like me to add - please DM me! I will continue to edit this list. Please only send me fics where the Child is the focus, and are an age where Readers would be able to identify with them (not infants). I have plenty of Mom!Reader/Spencer fics for now!
Dad Spencer Reid
GN!Child!Reader
Like Father, Like You by @imagining-in-the-margins: GN!Child. In which Spencer’s child comes out as not straight (sexuality not specified).
Anything for You by @lexieshuntingsstuff : GN!Child confesses to Father that they aren’t sick, they’re being bullied.
First Date Blurb by @zhuzhubii: Spencer meets his child’s first date.
Daughter!Reader
Skater Boy by @reidgraygubler: Spencer wants to spend more time with his daughter. So she teaches him how to skateboard.
Showing the Bird by @letarasstuff: Spencer’s daughter always is quick to pick things up she shouldn’t do, this includes a certain gesture with her hand and middle fínger.
To the Moon & Back by @andiebeaword: Spencer misses his daughter's important event for his work.
A Safe Place to Land by @aperrywilliams: Before the big day, Reader decided to spend time with her dad and share their thoughts about the path their lives have taken.
Finding Family by @spectaclespencer: [Stepdad!Spencer] Reader is upset on father’s day, but her mood is lifted when her mother’s boyfriend moves in.
Son!Reader
Budding Sunshine by @broken-stardust: Reader comes out to his father as a trans man.
Nonbinary!Child!Reader
Growing in a Garden by @reidgraygubler: Spencer’s 12-year-old is confused about their gender identity and goes to their dad for help and advice. Later his child has some exciting news.
Assorted Dad!Spencer
@reid-fiction ’s Dad Spencer Masterlist.
@dontshootmespence ’s Dad Spencer Masterlist
Love Knows No Bounds by @90spumkin: [OC!Child] A set of blurbs of Spencer being a father to a young girl named Eliza.
My Girl by @meganskane: [OC!Child] Spencer helps his daughter deal with her first heartbreak.
The Bad Influence's Birthday by @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff: [Dad!Reader, OC!Child] After hearing some unsavoury rumours about his darling daughter, Spencer decides to do something about it.
Mom!Reader (OC!Child)
Backup by @wave0fg00dvibes: You and Spencer are a team raising two kids.
You’re My Home by @wave0fg00dvibes: Spencer returns home to you and your daughter.
Defining Family by @imagining-in-the-margins: Spencer finds out he’s a dad… to a twelve year old girl. Your twelve year old girl, who just broke into the FBI.
The Prodigy Path by @imagining-in-the-margins: At a parent teacher conference, Spencer and Reader explain their seemingly unorthodox parenting style.
10 Days by @boldlyvoid: It’s Spencer’s first father’s day and he’s extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he’s only just met.
It’s Not So Bad by @spencersmind: Spencer might just love his daughter more than he loves you.
Breaking Up a Fight by @railmereid: Dad!Spencer breaking up a fight between his girls
Braids and Books by @propertyofpoeandbucky: Spencer decides to spend his day off with you and your daughter.
The Atoms by @propertyofpoeandbucky: Spencer thinks he can bore your son to go to sleep by talking about atoms, but he was wrong.
Catch by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek: Spencer’s daughter wants to play catch.
Madison by @ionlyreadfivebookslastweek: Where Spencer and reader adopted a girl of 5 years old (from S12E12).
Mini Matchmaker by @mggswhorificlover: Spencer’s daughter takes a liking to their new neighbor and notices Spencer might like her just as much.
The Luckiest by @reidingmelodies: Spencer and his daughter go through a scrapbook.
Love and Concern by @aperrywilliams: Spencer is concerned about his daughter’s first day of school.
The Trials and Tribulations of Fatherhood by @omgbigfluffwriting: It's your daughter’s first Christmas, and it's one to remember.
Wrapped Around Your Finger by @erin-bo-berin: Spencer ends up caving into his little girl when she begs to adopt a cat.
The Anniversary by @spencie-adams: Spencer yells at transphobes for his kid that came out a year ago today.
Intentions by @imagining-in-the-margins: [To-Be-Stepmom!Reader] Spencer’s teenage daughter Aurelia wants to have a conversation with you about your intentions with her father.
Victory by @babymetaldoll: [To-Be-Stepmom!Reader] Spencer’s daughter hates her father’s girlfriend. But when he is in prison, life pushes them to finally get along.
Dad Luke Alvez
Grieving is Never Easy by @a-mended-pact: (Daughter!Reader) It had only been a few months since your mom died.
Dad Ralvez
Please Hug Me by @sassymoon: (Daughter!Reader) How are you going to tell your dads that you’re 17 and pregnant?
Three in the Morning by @elliottspond: (GN!Child) Spencer helps Reader with insomnia, and Luke helps both of them bake cookies without destroying the kitchen.
Dad Aaron Hotchner
Tragedy is Not the End by @reidgraygubler: (GN!Child) Aaron confronts his child after they cause too many problems at school.
Discussions by @clean-bands-dirty-stories: (Male!Teacher!Reader) Aaron finds Jack's assignment on why he admires him.
