themostpowerfuleditorâ:
Mary blinked at the offer. Then she found herself nodding, âUmâŠumâŠyesâŠ.that might be good.â She agreed. âAt least getting some air anywaysâŠâ
She was unsure about the coffee. Her nerves were already frayed. Adding caffeine would just make the situation worse. Besides, Chris said he was coming to check on Billy so she did not want to go too far. Give the situation Herb was in, she was sure he also did not want to go far either.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, the manâs name was jangling a bell but right now she was too disturbed to worry about it. It was a mystery to be solved later, once Belle recovered.
Not waiting for Herb to reply or make any excuses, she headed for the sliding glass doors. Stepping out into the cold night air, she sucked in a breath and then another. It cleared her head and calmed some of the fears clawing at her heart. Of course Billy would be fine. It was a small bumpânothing like what happened to Steven.
Hearing footsteps coming from the parking lot, she turned slightly and then relaxed when a tall figure in a black coat stepped into the artificial lights of the entryway. âChris!â She stepped forward to meet the man and eagerly accepted the hug he offered. âNathanâs with Billy nowâhe says theyâre just running some tests.â She wished she could say more but there was nothing else she could add right now.
Chris smiled slightly, a tiny upturn of his lips that only broke his grim continence for a moment. âIf heâs with Nathan, heâll be fine. Nathanâs pulled the restâa us through worse.â
Mary nodded, hugging Chris for another moment before stepping back. Suddenly conscious that Herb had been talking about going outside as well, she looked around to see if he had followed through on his plan.
herb watches as she strides ahead of him, feeling almost uninvited to his own offer. it seems that mary is in a rush to get out of the dingy waiting area. he can't blame her for that- he's in a rush to be anywhere but here too. if he leaves, however, he's almost certain he'll wind up at a bar. that's the last thing in the world he needs- hell, it's the last thing in the world that the kids need. he'll have to pick them up from bailey's tonight no matter what goes on with lucille, and they will need a strong parent to be there for them. he's not even sure how much they know; not even sure how much to tell them, or how to go about it. he both hopes for and dreads the arrival of news before he has to go home. his entire life rides on that news.
he's also not sure about being a strong parent that's there for bunny and lil' herb. after all- he barely has any experience with that. he glances to the somewhat outdated desk, where an older woman in an old-fashioned nurse' hat is looking down at some papers. Â the scene slams his brain back to a well-suppressed memory- the sound of a gunshot from their living room, he and his mother rushing in to herb. sr's aid as the angry meeting attendants responsible fled. driving to the hospital with a sacrificial couch pillow pressed against his father's side. arriving to the hospital to find his father constantly insisting that herb go away and leave him to recover- to "stop being in the way" and "man up about this" like a "boy his age should". he had turned instead for much needed solace from his mother, only for her to hug him and cry uncontrollably for what felt like hours. he shudders at the remembrance- later on, when herb sr. was doing better and ruby's emotions had changed, he sat silently in the hall counting cracks in the plaster ceiling while he overheard his parents yelling at one another in the hospital room, and the nine-year-old swung his legs from the waiting chair awkwardly, wondering how it would all end.
he isn't sure how he is supposed to handle this situation with his children- he has no idea at all. but he knows he isn't going to handle it like that. he'll never do that to his kids.
he looks up to see that mary is fully outside now. he had intended to go up front for coffee- anything to make the idea of gin less tantalizing- but he hates to stand her up on his own invitation. he pushes himself out of the chair with all of the pent up stress he holds, and approaches the desk. the nurse behind it looks up. âwe'll be just out here if anything- uh, happens,â he tells her quickly, gesturing loosely to the sliding glass door within sight. she nods with a tight smile that he doesn't let himself overthink, dropping a quick thank-you as he shoves his hands back into his pockets and follows mary's footsteps out into the fresh air.
the chilly breeze and the glow of distant parking lot streetlights wash over him the instant he crosses the threshold, looking at her silhouette ahead of him. he doesn't know if this is worse, or better, but it's different, and that's all he'd really been after. he doesn't have time to say anything, however, before a black figure emerges from the dip between streetlights and approaches mary.
herb stands back by the door, hands buried in his pockets, tense and uncertain-looking. the night's soft wind, damp and vibrant, rustles his hair, and sets the lapel of his coat waving just a little. he watches with somewhat a hollow gaze as the two embrace and exchange reassurances over her situation, before smiling a small, closed-mouthed smile to himself and redirecting his gaze to the scuffed concrete he stands on, the feeling of intrusion washing over him.
even to someone as obtrusive and hard-headed as herb tarlek, the situation's message isn't lost on him entirely. here he is, waiting alone on news from one person he cares for and connects with, and hoping to find some common ground with the stranger from the waiting room. but the stranger from the waiting room doesn't need to connect with him. she has other people in her life, of course- as people do. herb does not. he likes to imagine that he doesn't because others won't, but he thinks back to the others at the station offering to do anything for him today, forcing him to take that heart test when his doctor recommended it, offering him a place to stay that time he and lucille got into a fight. he had lied to andy about the reason he couldn't stay at work that morning. those at the station only found out because lucille asked a nurse to notify her friend and herb's coworker jennifer, whom she'd been planning to go to lunch with.
andy had caught up with him at the door leading to the elevator, eyes full of questions, but tone respectful and concerned, telling him to take as much time as he needed and insisting that he'd keep an eye on sales for him while he was gone.
herb presses his lips together and rocks back on his heels, the irony of his own disillusionment sinking in. yeah, he doesn't have anyone- he made it that way. he has no idea how to change it now.
herb feels someone looking his way, and turns his eyes back to mary and her supporting figure. she's looking his way. unsure of how long she has been looking, or if he has missed any conversation that was directed to him, he gives her a tight smile and an awkward nod, stepping back a little closer to the shadows- suddenly wanting to stay out of her way, suddenly aware that she does not need and did not ask for his company.