Meenah bit her tongue at the work comment. She wasnāt one for dismissing her work, but this was one time and she knew Eridan and Equius could hold down the fort for a while longer. She had never shirked work before, not once, so she let herself believe for a temporary amount of time that what she was doing could be acceptable. If she came back with burgers, Eq and Eri wouldnāt even be mad about it. Itās just⦠This felt important to the teen heiress. It felt more important than work at the moment, and even more important than breathing for a moment. Right, breathe. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, the Peixes let herself relax a bit at the piano bench, fingers poised over the keys as she hesitated, then slowly started to play.
She played āIām a Ruinā by Marina and The Diamonds, remembering learning the song a long time ago for her sister during a vocal competition. She was the accompanist for her sister, and from practicing it constantly for a solid month, the song was ingrained into her. It felt fitting to play it for Aranea, the one person she felt like she might have wronged. The Peixes should have stayed the night instead of leaving, she should have taken Araneaās invitation instead of stepping back with heavy breathe. She felt like Aranea was shyer now, more guarded after that, which hurt a bit. And Meenah wasnāt good at expressing herself with this kind of stuff. Anger was easy, it was harder being gentle, being careful and warm, not just burning hot. But she wanted to be there with Aranea, she wanted to learn to be just warm. For her. Aranea.
Not even thinking about it, Meenah was playing the intro for an extended period of time. Quickly snapping out of it, she began to hum the first words, working up to singing carefully as she began, ā⦠I know Iām playing with your heart, and I could treat you better but Iām not that smartā¦" slowly at first, almost worried Aranea would tell her to stop before fully relaxing and playing with more of her heart, feeling the keys and breathing in the music like this was all she could say, "Iāll ruin, yeah, Iāll ruin you⦠Iāve been doing things I shouldnāt doā¦" She lulled, words pouring out of her like water in a fountain, "ā¦You still canāt look me in the eye, ācause youāve been bitten once and now youāre twice as shy. Iāve had my share of beautiful men, but Iām still young and wanna love againā¦" continuing, the room filling with sound as she kept going even though her fingers had since began to tremble as she played, "⦠And Iāve tried to stay. Babe, Iām gonna ruin you if you let me stay⦠You still mean everything to me⦠It doesnāt feel right and it doesnāt feel fair⦠Donāt wanna keep a secret, but I donāt know how to keep it fairā¦" Meenah pressed, eyes moving from her hands as they continued to play, her gaze fixing on Aranea as she tried to apologize for everything with her eyes, "But I donāt wanna say goodbye, but, baby, I donāt wanna lie⦠To lie, to lie to you⦠Iām a ruinā¦" she finished, fingers not moving from their end places as she sat there, still watching Aranea as they sat there in silence. Because silence was easier to swallow than saying anything else for the teen heiress.