[cochinitopibil-blog]

I only log in here to complain

[cochinitopibil-blog]

me as a judge in chopped: le falta chile.

[iguanamouth]

I just found out that a lizard called a Secret Toadhead Agamas exists and I'm so happy.

oohooho man youve found on my favorite lizards, the one with a REALLY good defense

when this lizard sees a potential threat, its tail curls upwards, its mouth opens -

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 the secret is two bright red flaps of skin that it keeps tucked up against the side of its head that it can unfold at will ( even without opening its mouth ) thatll hopefully scare off whatevers trying to eat it

if THAT doesnt work, these lizards live in mainly desert areas in and around iran, and they have another method to jump outta a situation real quick

theyre incredibly fast diggers, preferring to sit and wait for things to come to them, which means a lot of their day is just spent either completely submerged in sand ( or like this )

theres a bunch of different species of toad headed agamas, but as far as anyone knows this is the only one with a Secret. good job buddy

x x x

[teteminnikoo]

[woodmeat]

I’m not supposed to tell anyone but since I love y'all trump is planning to put me on his cabinet as secretary of reggie

[unsends-deactivated20170829]

me: idgaf narrator: they did, in fact, gaf

[xanny]

socializing in a non alcohol-fueled environment…i don’t think so. thanks but no thanks

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

This is the most me thing

[12-g-deactivated20171009]

Y’all have problems.  This isn’t normal.

[twocentsnosense]

As someone that spent their teens taking care of even dumber teens, I agree. You shouldn’t use it as a crutch for all your interactions

[xanny]

[drag0nair]

te amo?? more like te quila

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

So this is excellent because it’s a play on “tequila” AND a correct conjugation of “quilar” meaning “to fuck”

[cochinitopibil-blog]

It's not though

[onion-souls]

Under D&D rules, a dagger does 1d4 base damage. The average human has a Strength score of 10, adding no bonuses. Several of them, due to the military background of many, likely had strength or dexterity scores of 11-14. But only two or three, and quite a few would be frail with old age, sinking to 8-9 strength. All in all, we can only add a total of +1 damage per round from Brutus.

An estimate of sixty men were involved in Caesar’s actual murder. Not the wider conspiracy, but the stabbing.

Julius Caesar was a general, which is generally depicted as a 10th level fighter. Considering his above baseline constitution and dex, weakened by his probable history of malaria, epilepsy, and/or strokes (-1 dex modifier), and lack of armor at the time of the event, he would likely have something along the lines of AC 9 and 60 HP. The senators would likely hit him roughly 55% the time.

So the Roman senate had a damage-per-round of 66, more than enough to kill Caesar in one round even without factoring in surprise round advantage.

[wearebarbarian]

Now THESE are the kind of statistics I wanna see!

[myinnervoids]

[cruel-noise-pgh]

D.L.I.M.C. - July Cassingle

Markk of Coneheads with some more gold. Fest Punk rules

[slavery]

check your privilege if u have 6 selfies from this year some of us are ugly 

[notascorpio-deactivated20180803]

[executed-deactivated20161004]

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

the forbidden dance

[horriblebeing-deactivated201906]

@macsgf

[kisskissfuckshitup]

to people who put antlers and a nose on their car for christmas

you can’t trick me. I know that’s a car. you fool

[memewhore]

[slow-riot-deactivated20200720]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this image takes entire years off of my life every time I see it

[rapling-deactivated20191013]

me: i hate astrology

horoscope: youre beautiful 

me: