Wandering Gaijin @cocoagaijin - Tumblr Blog

Realizing I may not know my friends as well as I thought.... Reactions are not what I thought and I just feel... more alone. Is this what isolation truly feels like?

I can't stop crying.

I honestly can't. I miss my best friend. We should have never dated.

I lost one of my longest best friends and someone I considered my soulmate for years... over nothing and everything at the same time.

One problem snowballed into another. Instead of trying to work it out, he let the hurt fester and I refused to close the gap. We could never fully make the transition from friendship to dating work and the long distance made it worse.

I miss him. I've missed him all year since this BS started. I just want my friend back but if its this easy for him to say ok, be well I just... Idk...Was he my friend? Is he as shattered as I am? Does this even bother him? I don't know.

But I can't stop crying.

devils-queen

☩

cocoagaijin

How I feel today 🥸🙃

Love my best friend but a week is too long of a trip for me... She's overstayed her welcome and I'm annoyed. Slept on the damn couch while she took up my whole bed. I haven't studied all week and she's not leaving until later. I need to donate plasma and shes fucked up my schedule. I missed two opportunities this week and I can not spend anymore money because there isn't more to spend. Just an annoyed introvert that hit her limit/drained her batteries....like 4 days ago 🙄😒

#life #relationships #emotions #friendship #introvert

There's just magic in getting eaten out by someone with experience 😌 😏

#cunnilingus #life #emotions #experience #release #relax

Just spent $700 on my car getting it tuned up and shit on Tuesday, just to fucking hit something in the road the NEXT DAY. 🥲 Whatever it was was small enough and dark enough that I legitimately did not see it front of me and it damaged the front driver side, corner of my car. I was able to drive it home and I thought maybe I would still be able to drive it to work if they just gave me an "okay it's drivable just come back this day to fix it" but the way that it's fucked up, even though it doesn't look that bad from the outside, I can't drive it on the freeway....which is like literally how I get to work and there's no other way....

Insurance says I'm not at fault, thank God and that they'll cover if it's over $500....which it is according to the shop....🤦🏾‍♀️ I don't have rental coverage so I have to pay that out of pocket and its just...like the mountain of shit rn. Have to figure out who I'm asking to help me out until my next check and I HATE asking people for money. I don't do it. I've asked for help like... twice? in the last 5 years.

Cause even though I'm managing to pull imaginary money to cover this car shit... I can't do it all.... I have to pay my enrollment fee for school by Sunday, almost out of cat food, probably gonna have to pay a deposit for this rental, not to mention this expensive ass gas to drive it, and I've got a little less than $40 split between cash and a negative chime account....until next Friday....

I have already taken out all of my savings...like once gas doubled, that was it. I had to choose like do you really want to ask people for gas money or you just want to make it work for now? So I cleaned out all my shit and maxxed out my card... like I have no money at this point. I'm using like the last bit of imaginary loan money that I have from affirm and that's it... that's it until I get paid next week and until then IF I can get this rental to get to work, I'll just be living off tips, maybe I can try to find time to do some food delivery? because it won't matter what car I'm in...but I'm still trying to get through this semester and I'm already struggling in these classes.... just how the fuck are am I supposed to do this?

#life #car problems #broke life #struggling student #help #series of unfortunate events #emotions #depressed #lost #out of options #what do i do #how #what am i doing #what am i doing wrong #whats the point

fyblackwomenart

New World Consciousness BY Harmonia Rosales

This exhibition explores the duality between The Virgin Mary and Eve as a point of departure in the deconstruction of a dominant ideological narrative rooted in Eurocentric conceptions of beauty and superiority. During the period of “Christian Colonization” women were put into two distinct categories; The Virgin Mary and Eve. The Virgin Mary is a woman who has been set on a pedestal so high that she is impossible to emulate. She is obedient. She is pure. She is long-suffering (and silent). In a patriarchy, she is in a word, ideal, the woman no modern woman in our society ever could become. And even should be made to want to become. And then there is Eve. Disobedient. Sexualized. The woman who dare to question, to challenge; the woman whom we are taught had Adam (and, thus, all of mankind), kicked out of the Garden of Eden as a result of her nonconformity. Both women have been judged by male standards of acceptability and respectability. Revered, or reviled. Commended, or condemned.