eat pray love @cococooksalot-blog - Tumblr Blog

Posts

Greg’s eyes searched the train as it began to pull into the station. His heart beat increased and he could hear the thump thump thump of it in his ears. He couldn’t decide whether it was nerves or excitement running through his veins. Coco was his best friend - he loved the girl, but that was the problem. Too much alcohol in his system had caused them to cross an unspoken line that nether had brought up since. It was as if it was some bad dream, but the feelings from that night were anything but bad. Something had taken over from the pure lust that ran through his system and he was left with feelings that overwhelmed the young male. So much so that it ruined the rest of the trip and their connection. Since that night he had tried to forget his feelings bubbling under the surface for the girl he couldn’t remember life without. It had seemed like the best option at the time, but knowing he would be seeing her again, the feelings demanded to be felt.

As always though, when he caught Coco’s eye, the nerves vanished and an easy smile found its way onto his lips. She always had that effect on him. Any troubles he had dissipated as he looked at her. Laughing to himself at her goofy greeting, he retaliated with a look of his own; his eyebrows pulling up and together whilst the corners of his mouth turned down, giving him what he thought to be an adorable puppy dog face. But the face soon disappeared as the train came to a halt and his best friend came bounding over to him. If he hadn’t have been prepared for greeting, the two may have toppled over in a heap in the middle of the station. Luckily, Greg had known Coco for too long and guessed her moves. Planting his feet on the floor, he all but dropped his makeshift banner in favor of catching Coco, his long arms wrapping around her waist to keep a hold of her.

"I couldn’t exactly let you walk home, Coco." He chuckled into her ear, ignoring the fact that she had eleven other brothers and sisters who could easily have took his place. "Besides, if there was a chance of a gift from New York, who was I to argue with possible fate?" Pulling yet another face at her, the grin on his face only widened at her being home again. "So… You miss me?"

cococooksalot-blog

The puppy dog face Greg had pulled in response to her blowfish face made her happy, and made her wish she'd never let their friendship fall to the wayside. But then again, there was no such thing as friends for Coco when she had been with him. But as she looked at Greg, her worries and thoughts about her evil ex began to fade away. She was home, home at last. New York was now and would always be a thing of the past. A memory that she could let go of.

She knew he'd catch her. He always did.

But she didn't pull out of the embrace, she kept tight to him, her legs locked at the ankle around his waist, her arms about his neck. It felt too good to let go. Part of her thought it was dream, but feeling his warm breath by her ear helped her to know that this was real. She pulled back to look at him, uncaring that other passengers from the train filtered by, some giving the duo a death glare, but Coco didn't care. The only thing that mattered was Greg and being in his arms again.

"Mmm, home." She hummed, thinking of the old farmhouse that somehow managed to hold all 14 members of the Adams family (and the occasional friend or seven), her eyes moving briefly away from Greg's to look up toward the sky as she thought of younger days and playing in the fields by that farmhouse, things were so much simpler then. She grinned, looking back at him, her hair falling into her eyes as she joked, "A gift? Hmm, I wonder what sort of gift it must be. I'm sure it's expensive." She reluctantly and finally put both feet on the ground, moving her hands to cup Greg's face, playfully smushing it in her hands. "Miss you? Of course, I've missed you. More than you could ever know... Did you miss me?" Her eyes danced as she smirked teasingly up at him.

#threads #with greg #eheheeh #but they are so cute i cry

gregoryandersxn

He hadn’t been expected the call, yet he had gone running all the same. She was his best friend, after all. He wasn’t going to leave her stranded, even if one of her many family members could have offered her the lift. It was important that it was him to be there for her. It had been a while since they had spoken, yet even loner since the two childhood friends had seen one another. Since their trip across Europe, nothing had ever been the same. But with Coco in New York things had slowly begun to repair themselves. They rarely tiptoed around one another anymore, but now Coco was coming home. Now would be the time they proved that both of them were over what happened across the pond. She had been his friend for as long as he could remember and he couldn’t bare the thought of their friendship being damaged beyond repair.

Now he was standing in the middle of Foxcroft’s one and only station, waiting for his giant of a best friend. His heartbeat thrummed in his ears and his palms felt sticky with sweat. Wiping them down the front of his jeans, he held up his joke sign with ‘Adams' written on the front as the train pulled into the station.

cococooksalot-blog

Coming home had been something Coco had long awaited. Sure, she'd been home, with him in tow, which was misery-making. To pretend that she was happy and pretend that she was fine, but even then some people could see through it. She could remember last Christmas when Aaron had cornered her and demanded to know what was going on. He knew her too well. He told her to end it before she ended up being killed. "If he's not gone by the summer, I'm calling the cops. The way he treats you..." Aaron had shaken his head, disgusted. "It just ain't right." Now here she was, end of summer and she was home. For good. He was gone for good, because as it turns out committing arson that nearly wipes out an entire block earns you a long stay in prison.

She was glad it was done. She was glad she called Greg, despite the fact that she still could feel the space between them. The space she'd all but created when she danced with him - and then did more than dance - in Amsterdam. She wished she felt guilty about it, that it was wrong, but it had felt so right. Nothing since then had felt as right as being with Greg had; not moving to New York City to study marketing, and certainly not getting together with the world's most controlling and manipulative man. Greg was her best friend. One of the few people in the entire world she felt closest to outside of her family. They were inseparable. But it felt weird to have her secrets laid bare, almost everyone in her family knew what he did to her, so calling Greg was the most logical option because she knew he wouldn't try to pull the answers to the questions everyone was asking out of her: Why did you stay? What did you ever see in him? What were you thinking?

Coco ran a hand over her shorter dark hair as the train pulled into the station, letting out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding, finally free when she smiled at Greg's sign before pulling a weird, goofy face at him. A weird face that involved her crossing her eyes and puffing out her cheeks like a blowfish. Once she was certain he'd seen her goofy face - the same face she'd make at him when they were kids - she pulled back a bit to wave, giggling. Once the train was at a dead stop, Coco grabbed her things, all she had left to her name at this point, her purse and a single suitcase and got off the train before running right to Greg and dropping her things to jump into his arms. She squeezed him tightly with her arms and legs and murmured into his ear, "Hi, stranger. Thanks for coming to get me. God, did you get taller since last Christmas?"

#threads #with greg

coral

Her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, A New Leaf (via hjartawrites)

#musings #greg

something in me is screaming

New York City, Summer 2011

Flashing lights were blinding her.

It made her think of Amsterdam.

The blaring of the house music - some new techno song with barely intelligible lyrics, the thick fog from smoke of hash, pot, and cigarettes intermingling with the sweat of mingling bodies and heavy breathing. The whole area felt thick, heady with lust and highs of all kinds. She could still feel his breath on her neck and how goddamn good it felt with his hands sliding down her hips, her ass grinding against him.

Her eyes closed briefly as she took a deep breath, letting the memory fade as she tuned in to the sounds of some pop song she didn't recognize, but sounded faintly like Lady Gaga. This place was different. This wasn't Amsterdam. Greg was home in Foxcroft and she was here, in New York City. She checked her phone once more as she sidled up to the bar.

No new text messages.

She closed the inbox, disappointed that he both hadn't texted and that she'd even expected him to text her in the first place. After Amsterdam, things had felt different. And since he didn't bring it up, she didn't either. So what had usually been comfortable, complacent silences became awkward and uncomfortable. She nearly cut the trip short, but she didn't want to have to explain to her family that she'd come home early because she'd slept with her best friend in the whole world,

In a dingy, barely-lit bathroom, with her bent over the sink, her dress hanging around her waist, her underwear gone, and him taking her, his hands making bruises into her hips. She could still see herself, watching their reflections in the mirror through heavy-lidded eyes, the look of pure ecstasy on his face...

He was the boy she met in kindergarten and convinced to wear a daisy chain crown she'd made for him, the boy who was not intimidated by her many siblings but instead accepted them all, the boy who came and held her hand when she was in the hospital for appendicitis, the boy who held her hair back as she puked after she got so drunk off cheap Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill when they were fifteen, and finally, and perhaps most importantly, he was the boy who made her feel like she wasn't the gangly freak everyone called her throughout middle and high school.

When Coco looked up from her phone, there he was. A man with an easy smile and glittering dark eyes. He was gorgeous and a perfect distraction, Coco decided as she pocketed her phone and smiled back. As he approached, something deep in her gut turned, but she ignored it.

Hunger, she assumed. Hunger for something new.

Years later, as she waited for the earliest possible train to North Carolina, Coco realized that that feeling in her gut that night wasn't hunger, but instead the pang of fear, a warning of what was to come. A warning that the road she was about to embark on would be one filled with false promises and double-edged words that kept her second-guessing and kept her lulled into a sense of false security.

#memories

But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of your life, always forcing his way into the center of the picture. You deserve to have your life be about you; you are worth it.

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

#musings #why she stayed