Cid ponders on this for a moment. Come to think of it… yes, he thinks. It’s been so long that we’ve all been here, and so many things have we done. Even I’ve saved the city from that wretched clown. I want to stay.
However… There is something that gnaws at Cid’s substance. Something unspoken, always overlooked, but now it resurfaces from the recesses of his thoughts and the weight of it hits him full-force.
“I am not so fortunate as you, Lightning, and I admit I’m a little envious,” he says and takes a sip from the goblet. His face is a lidded pot. He is struggling to keep the emotions he is suppressing, whatever’s cooking underneath. “I do want to stay. I’ve had my fair share of adventures in this city and in this world. But our similarities on this matter stop there.” He takes another sip, and watches how Lightning will react.
“As for myself, I have my own duties elsewhere. I have to tend to the populace of a dead country. So yes, I can relate to the rebuilding part.” The knowing smile that follows pains him.
“But ah, enough of me. How’s the rest of the team?”
Lightning watched Cid with a guarded look, not daring to interrupt his reverie nor his words. She couldn’t help but think there was still something of the old soldier in her, afraid to interject as her commanding officer spoke. His words were reticent and chosen warily, but Lightning understood. He had responsibilities, a calling. Lightning more than understood, actually. The ghosts of obligation still hung around her at night, haunting at the strangest moments.
All the thoughts that spilled out at Cid’s explanation and the only reply Lightning could muster was, “Ah.” Brevity was her greatest virtue. There was not much more to be said.
“Serah and Snow are both safe,” Lightning thought she would count her blessings first. “Well, as safe as they can be with each other. I’m glad they’re living out their life the way they want to.” A privilege Lightning had never thought to want. “Fang is… the same as always.” A thin smile curved her lips. Again - there was not much more to be said. Even in the most adverse of circumstances the Oerban had not strayed from her sense of self. To put it kindly.
“Hope is around. I understand he’s growing into a gentle and capable young man. I’ve taught him enough about survival of the fittest. The best thing I can do for him now is take a step back.” There was a trace of guilt in her voice. Had she taught him too much, too soon? No. The answer had to be no. They did what they could to survive and that was that. All she had given him was a knife and her cynical views on life. “But Vanille… is missing. She came out of stasis before Fang did, and nobody knows why. She’s disappeared.”
Lightning’s voice was as calm as ever, despite the news.
It was hard to stop the smile that spread across Cid's face. It was simple yet tender and true. Even Cid was surprised by the sudden rush of feeling as he listened to Lighting's account. Sure, life has been hell recently, but the former soldier's words soothed the storm at the heart of Cid's discomfort.
"I am glad to hear that Snow's finally gotten what he's always wanted: a peaceful life with Serah," he responded. He immediately thought back to the day when Fang found Snow chipping away at the crystal figure that was Serah. How utterly desperate and broken the man seemed back then.
"As for Fang... well, I'm happy to see you're still staying strong." There was a hint of mischief in his tone, a characteristic he was not known to display. "That woman's a rare breed, and so are you. I'm glad to see how everything is with both of you. And it's glad to know Hope's doing well, too."
He put his glass down, and subdued his tone for the next few sentences.
"Vanille... Ah, the other Oerban." Cid's features twisted themselves into a slight frown. "So far, the population records for the Pulsian settlements can't do anything to tell us where she is. I've left Oerba unconverted, as Fang liked it, but the last scouting party I've sent there reported no human settlers. Just the fiends that infest the area."
He sighs. "Well, I personally don't know where she is. What I haven't done, however, is search Cocoon. Wasn't she crystallized there?" He raised an eyebrow and waited for a reply. When none came, he resumed speaking. "Also, about that man she used to travel with. I forgot the name. Afro guy. Is it possible that..." Cid trailed off, immersed in thought.