you're stronger than you know

jasper & kei mostly - he/him - dissociative system - absolutely no map/terf/nsfw/anti recovery interaction will be tolerated - requests, inbox, & dms are always open (no trauma details please - we're survivors too!)

[cocsa-survivors]

semi important note! please do not send in nsfw asks, even if they’re looking for advice! this is meant to be a space accessible to anyone who needs it, and thus will have no explicit content. thank you for understanding!

[cocsa-survivors]

I hope y’all are doing well 🌈

we’re doing really well!!!

you have so much good to bring to the world, and i wholeheartedly believe that you just being here is a manifestation of that. i hope you’re doing well and have all the support and love you need!

[cocsa-survivors]

i’m feeling really positive today so send me a 🌈 for an affirmation!! feel free to add what you’d like it to be about, or just send the emoji for something random!

[cocsa-survivors]

Hey thank you for existing :) places like this really help me and feel like im not alone, even though ive felt so confused, you really provide useful things i didnt even know i needed to hear.. I am thinking of telling my therapist about my situation, I'm not really sure how to start a convo on this, but im getting there. I hope you have a great day, keep truckin

this message made my day, thank you so so much

[cocsa-survivors]

it’s not healthy or normal to work 100% of the time. you deserve to take breaks and do things that are kind for yourself, even if they don’t feel productive. take some time to be with friends and do nothing, or relax with a hobby that doesn’t bring you anything except satisfaction! there’s no reason to be ashamed of taking time that’s only for you (in fact, it’s healthy and you should!)

[thewhiteraven73-deactivated2020]

I mean, i agree with this, but it does not apply to me

[spearmint-hell]

It does apply to you! Taking breaks and relaxation are important

[cocsa-survivors]

^^^ seriously!!! this doesn’t only apply to people with jobs! whether it’s school or housework or anything else you do, breaks are an essential part to taking care of yourself

[cocsa-survivors]

it’s not healthy or normal to work 100% of the time. you deserve to take breaks and do things that are kind for yourself, even if they don’t feel productive. take some time to be with friends and do nothing, or relax with a hobby that doesn’t bring you anything except satisfaction! there’s no reason to be ashamed of taking time that’s only for you (in fact, it’s healthy and you should!)

[cocsa-survivors]

to all the lgbtq+ people following this account, please please please know that your trauma did not make you gay or bi or trans or ace or any other identity you now hold. no matter what you’ve been told, trauma does not cause you to be lgbtq+, and i hope you’re able to derive strength from that.

(absolutely no discourse on this post will be tolerated. if you say something cruel or exclusionary you will be blocked.)

[cocsa-survivors]

You know what’s strange? How I can be touch-starved and touch-averse at the same time. I run from relationships for this and so many other reasons, how do others deal with this? I’m tired of denying myself

this is a common experience from what i’ve gathered! one thing i’ve personally found helpful is trying to set firm boundaries in both friendships and romantic relationships. it’s better to set them as early as possible, but it’s never too late to reassess. 

if anyone else has anything to add feel free to add on!

[cocsa-survivors]

the holidays can bring up a lot of complicated feelings for survivors of any kind of trauma, especially childhood trauma. please be gentle with yourself this holiday season and practice self care as much as you can. you’re strong enough to get through this, and i believe in you.

[cocsa-survivors]

to the anon asking about intrusive thoughts- i’m not sure that’s something i’m comfortable posting about publicly because it’s potentially triggering, please dm me if you need support!

[cocsa-survivors]

Ever since I saw the post about trauma dumping I have felt really bad, and i want to apologize for any damage i have caused, I know it said you aren't mad I feel like I should apologize anyways, you made me realize what I did was wrong, and I promise it wont happen again, I hope you have a good rest of your day/night and stay safe

hey anon!! i hope you know that i completely forgive you!! it’s not always easy to remember how things like this can affect people, and because this is completely online it can genuinely be hard to remember that the people on the other side of a blog are people. take care of yourself, and i wish you healing and comfort!

[survivor-positivity]

it’s never too late to start recovery

[cocsa-survivors]

If people do want to trauma dump somewhere and they aren't looking for advice, my blog is safe to do that! While I do have trauma myself, details of other people's trauma almost NEVER bother me, and I know that some people just need a place to say what happened/ get some validation, and I absolutely don't mind if my blog is that place, if anyone's interested my blog is @how-fucking-could--you but just a reminder: NEVER trauma dump to someone who hasn't explicitly said that's okay

thank you so much!! i agree completely - if someone has welcomed trauma dumping on their blog, it’s completely acceptable to talk to them about it! discussing trauma is only a problem when the person you’re talking to hasn’t consented to hear about it. 

[cocsa-survivors]

why we don’t respond to trauma dumping in our asks/dms!

what is trauma dumping?

trauma dumping is when someone gives unsolicited graphic details of their trauma! saying “i was abused” is not trauma dumping, but giving lots of detail is! 

why is it harmful?

trauma dumping can cause:

flashbacks

dissociation

panic attacks

relapses in other issues a person is experiencing (such as s/h, addiction, or disordered eating)

intense stress about checking messages/inbox

paranoia

and more! it varies from survivor to survivor

please keep the person you’re talking to in mind! most people in this community are still in recovery from mental illness, addiction, or trauma! remember that what you went through might not be too far off from the trauma that person faced.

what if i already did it?

good news - we’re not mad at you!! everyone makes mistakes and it can be hard to find an appropriate outlet for trauma. however, past this point we will be blocking people who dm/send asks in with graphic accounts of trauma or ask if something was “bad enough” to count as such!

feel free to reblog if you hold a similar view on your account!

[cocsa-survivors]

flareups with trauma symptoms may not always immediately make sense to you, but it’s important to still treat take care of yourself even if it feels silly. if you’re feeling upset, you’re feeling upset. rationalization is not required for you to earn feeling safe. 

[cocsa-survivors]

i’m so so sorry to address this publicly, but my system went through a lot of csa/cocsa and because of that we do have triggers around certain words and phrases. we’ve received several asks with incredibly triggering language surrounding trauma details despite asking people not to, and we don’t know what to do except ask for that to stop. we want to support our fellow survivors but hearing graphic r/pe details and similar things has been really affecting us. if we receive another ask like this we’ll have to turn anon asks off because this blog cannot come before our health. a lot of our inactivity has been because opening tumblr has become really frightening for me because i don’t know if we’ll be greeted by something that will cause us to dissociate, experience flashbacks, or experience any of our other trauma responses.

thank you so much for understanding, and i hope to be able to be around more soon!

[sluts4jesus]

When talking about stigma around mental illness, we need to remember that people with psychosis, schizophrenia, dissociative disorders, and/or cluster B personality disorders tend to receive the most abuse and violence because of the false, harmful stereotype that people with these disorders are actively trying to hurt others, even though they're far likely to be hurt than to hurt someone else. That paired with the ableism they face constantly increases the suicide and self harm rates among people with these illnesses. Please include them in your conversations about mental health, they're some of the most vulnerable and are too often forgotten. People with these disorders are all around you, they deserve support too.

[cocsa-survivors]

sending love to everyone with intensely stigmatized mental health issues! you’re not a monster, you’re not broken, and you deserve respect and love and comfort.