ummmmm last summer I wrote these tf2 hcs for a high school marching band au. cause it was hot outside and i wanted them to suffer too. I’m graduated now.
I typically only write stuff for myself so if this is entirely impossible to read I’m sorry 💔
also not all mercs r equally written for. I was just organizing thoughts basically..
Scout - Snare
During marching season, Scout is an absolutely CRACKED snare. Definitely did drum core at least one year. Always missing uniform parts. Gets super sunburnt because he thinks he’s stronger than the sun and nobody can convince him to wear suncreen. Tears up the chickfila chicken sandwiches during band camp dinner like he’s never eaten a day in his life. Would like to try out for drum major, probably did, but he likes drumline too much to give it up. Bibbers didn’t fit upon ordering and he never got them replaced. Probably squatted down and tore a hole right through the crotch of them. Hairy legs glow in the sun. Obnoxious as hell when it comes to stand tunes and drum jams. Hates parades. Tends to get to sets first. Forgets water (didn’t care to bring any) and leeches from other people because he’s too impatient to wait in line. Does that thing where he throws the drumsticks until they stick straight up in the dirt. Incredibly tanned after marching season because of all his sunburns. Skin cancer is delirious with lust right now. Locker always has some bullshit in it. When it was time to clean them out he stuck his arm all the way to the back and pulled out a pile of Something. Why is this in your locker. What am I looking at. Threw up at least once at band camp.
Soldier - Trumpet
Nobody knows he’s leadership for some reason. He’s probably both band captain and and section leader. Ultimate scary beast master hype man. Takes everything VERY seriously. Band camp outfits are horrendous but he is staying cool so who cares? Worst tan lines ever. Can hold attention for ridiculous amounts of time. Pride block doesn’t work on him. Not a single absence from any band related activity. Signs up for every volunteering opportunity. Takes all the high notes. Yells so incredibly loud for anything vocal (attention, stand tunes, horn moves, etc). Loses his voice after every game. On loading crew. If it rains and he’s not in uniform he’s absolutely going to end up “accidentally” slipping and rolling around in mud on the field. Every single time. He’ll drag you into it too. Beware. Uniform is well taken care of but it stinks kinda. It’s inescapable. The guy who’s always yelling at people to dress forms. Gives out punishments like candy. LOVES parades.
Pyro - Colorguard
Beautiful beast on the field. Started on front ensemble but didn’t like it much. One of the people you will never see eating or drinking. Another person who loves parades. Feeds ants on the field. Locker is also full of bullshit. Decorated(?) What is that. What am I looking at.
Demo - Front Ensemble Marimba
Often missing from rehearsals but will make them up eventually. His music is memorized immediately, regardless of attendance. Always goes out to eat before games and rehearsals (rich people 😔). Very enthusiastic in the stands, not so much in parades and on the field. Eats in uniform. He doesn’t care. Is often preoccupied with the actual football rather than other things at games. Miraculously never stinks. Doesn’t matter how sweaty and gross he gets.
Heavy - Sousaphone
Tuba is not his primary instrument, but they needed a good foundation. His lung capacity is perfect for sousa. Did not sign up for loading crew and ended up on it anyway. Gorgeous tone quality, music is always practiced and memorized on time. Section leader, does NOT take bullshit in low brass. He wants that stereotype obliterated. You may not be able to hear him clearly on the field, but you WILL notice when he’s absent, which is not often. Doesn’t eat provided food, brings his own and that shit is scrumptious. Don’t ask for any. Another guy not afraid to give out punishments. He won’t be a total ass about it but he wants people to be held accountable. Being pale, he’s often a victim of the sun. Even the strongest sunscreen couldn’t save him entirely. Strongly prefers concert season.
Engie - Band Manager
Probably started on trombone and left mid season. (His arms are too short to reach seventh position 💔). Now he helps poor overworked Ms Pauling. He’ll be seen later in the guitar class during concert season.
Medic - Drum Major
Freshman year he was on clarinet, immediately tried out and got drum major his sophomore year. Tempo is so locked in, conducting is so easy to follow. Human metronome. Very diligent with sunscreen, chews out people who knowingly avoid applying it (Scout). Doesn’t sweat much except for his pits. Gross. Wears a massive brimmed hat during band camp, and brings a comically large water jug. Reeks of tiger balm on game days.
Sniper - Alto Sax
Music librarian. A fed up music librarian. Only one who has managed to get Scout to wear some sunscreen, and that’s because he’s tricked him. (Grabbed shoulder/arm with a palm full of sunscreen, ambushing and spraying him down, tackling and forcibly applying with Soldier’s assistance, etc). Another person dressed appropriately for the weather. The guy who brings a camelpak and makes it look tuff. Puts his all into horn moves. He looks weird when he does them. Whatever. Forgets not to lock his knees. Probably passed out once. Not great at holding horn angles.
Spy - Not Participating (Boo)
You won’t see him until concert season. He won’t say how he got out of marching band either.
Ms. Pauling - Band Manager
Guys can you drink less water or something. She can’t keep refilling these water stations. Drives the golf cart like she’s street racing. Guys ummmm can you pick up your trash? No? Fine whatever. Who cares. Can someone help paint the field. I just need. One person. Ok. Fine. Nobody wants to help. Whatever.
anywayyyy if these do well at all I’ll go ahead and post the concert season ones 👀
i just figured I’d get rid of the headcanons hoard that seems to be growing
also I made art that goes along with some of these but it’s from last year so yk. not great. hashtag like and subscribe if you wanna see.
